How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You

how to make a girl fall in loveLast week, I talked a good bit about love: if you should say “I love you,” and a post about understanding love; the week before we discussed how to not fall in love.

What we’re going to talk about in this post is how to make a girl fall in love with you.

I probably don’t need to spend much time laying out why this one’s something worth knowing - for obvious reasons, being able to make a girl fall in love with you is a good thing.

However, you’ll find as we discuss below that having her fall in love when you aren’t in love isn’t necessarily an ideal situation, either. Why not, you ask? Well, read on, about the four Perumutations of Love, and how exactly you go about making girls fall in love, to better understand why this is the case when it comes to that most celebrated of emotions.

The Four Permutations of Love

Previously, we discussed the Passion Trap, and how a lot of relationships tip out of balance eventually… where one person is more in love than the other. Let’s look at all the possible permutations of this dynamic:

  1. You have feelings for her, and she has feelings for you, too.

    This is the jackpot of love… there is really nothing better to be had (while it lasts). In fact, this might well be the best feeling in the WORLD… it’s the ultimate goal of learning how to make a girl fall in love with you and probably the greatest rush this side of Eden. It’s also a true win-win deal… you are both happy in the relationship, nobody gets hurt, and everything is awesome. Even breakfast cereal tastes better. Really!

  2. You have feelings for her, but she does NOT have feelings for you.

    This is the OPPOSITE of the jackpot. While mutual love can be the greatest feeling in the world, being in love with a girl who’s not in love with you can also be the most terrible feeling in the world. I know, because I’ve been there… and I’ve even had clients who were in that position with a girl they weren’t even dating!

    If that’s you… whether she’s someone you’re going out with who just doesn't feel the same way, or you aren’t even dating her but you can’t stop thinking about herremove yourself from the situation immediately. As I mentioned in yesterday’s article on relationship jealousy, the rule in dating and relationships is – if it’s broken, don’t fix it. Of course there are relationships that are salvageable, especially if she does have feelings for you… but if she simply doesn’t feel it, get out. I’ve seen men waste years and years of their lives chasing after one girl who just wasn’t that into them. Unproductive and painful… don’t do it.

    By the coin, this also goes for the classical situation in which a girl is stringing a guy along and not making up her mind. A lot of guys feel trapped in this situation. “If she only told me that she doesn’t love me, I could just move on… but she says she needs time to decide,” they say. MOVE ON already! You don’t want to be at her mercy like that. Simply take the decision for her. If there was something there, she will come chasing after you pretty quickly and make up her mind. On the other hand, if you simply accept her wishy-washy position, she may well keep you in limbo forever (or rather, until a man comes along that she IS certain about). Why would she come to a decision if there is no need to, if you give her free reign to keep all her options open, AND still keep you around too?

  3. You DON’T have feelings for her, and neither does she have feelings for you.

    This is another win-win scenario. You are both just having a good time with each other, meeting up for some good, clean, adult fun. Nothing wrong with that… enjoy. The emotions won’t be as intense as in scenario 1, but it’s still a very positive experience, and most importantly, it doesn’t come with all the negative consequences of #1… attachment, jealousy and drama, but also the inevitable crash when one or both of you fall out of love. I like position #3 best, and I’ve developed a consistent way to create this kind of relationship – I talk about it in Part II of the series on what girls look for. You may also want to check out “Dont Hurt a Girl” and “How to Date Multiple Women” if you haven’t already done so for more on setting up these sorts of relationships properly and in a way that no one gets hurt.

  4. You DON’T have feelings for her... but she DOES have feelings for you.

    This position feels neutral to you, but it won’t feel very good for her. The most important thing in this situation is to be HONEST. Don’t lead her on… just tell her what the score is. Then, the choice is up to her.

    And while it’s possible that this situation is causing her suffering, you need to realize two things: number one, there is nothing you can do to help her – you have as little control over who you fall in love with as girls do. And number two, it’s not your responsibility to break up with her… she’s an adult and if you’ve been honest with her, she knows what she’s doing.

    In fact, I’ve certainly been in a relationship once where I was in love with a girl and she wasn’t really in love with me… she had a crush on me, but it was clear that my feelings were far stronger than hers. Would it have been her responsibility to end the relationship to spare me the heart ache? No… in fact, I’m glad she didn’t. We still did end up spending 4 months together, and while it was a bit of a roller coaster, I wouldn’t want to have missed it.

More about the Power Struggle

As we’ve discussed above, the early stage of the relationship is always a bit of an unconscious power struggle. During this phase, the roles of the two partners are being established, and nature is trying to find out whether the man will be the One-Up, or the One-Down… the lover, or the provider - who gets the relationship control.

You want to DISARM this power struggle rather than win it… because it really is a lose-lose scenario either way.

However, it might take a while until you can truly create enough of a connection with her where you’re able to openly discuss everything we’ve talked about here, and where you have enough of a bond with her to address this issue and create a TRUE team dynamic.

So let me give you a couple of tips on what to do in the meantime… how to survive the early stages of courtship. Because you certainly don’t want to fall victim to HER games and suddenly find yourself in a One-Down position.

How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You

how to make a girl fall in loveHere is the way to become a One-Up in a relationship - here is how to make a girl fall in love with you. While I don’t recommend you put yourself in that position, as it will destroy the intimacy you could create with her and throw the relationship out of balance, it’s good to have some of these techniques in your toolbox, should you ever need them… in case the relationship is starting to tip in her favor and you need to put some weight on the other scale pan.

  • Make her feel out of control.

    This is the simple summation of everything you can do to gain power in the relationship. As a reminder, the One-Down is the one who feels like he has less control in the situation, and so this is the crux of making someone fall more in love. If you chase after her like a puppy, she will fall out of love… no way around it! On the other hand, if you can get her chasing more, her feelings will grow stronger. No way around that either.

  • Be elusive.

    Be the one to end calls and dates first. Text and call her less often than she does you. Still show interest though… you need to always give her enough encouragement to keep her chasing. If you’re too easy, she will lose interest like the famous cat that gets bored in a string once it lies dead on the floor and is no longer dangling just out of her reach. And if you’re too hard to obtain, she will feel outclassed and move on. The middle ground between the two extremes is the place that will COMPEL her to chase.

  • Be mysterious.

    If she asks you a question you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to answer it. That rule ALWAYS applies in dating… but you can take it up a notch if you want to tip the scales a bit more in your favor. If she asks where you’ve been, you don’t owe her an answer… she’s not the KGB. And if she asks if you’ve kissed any other girls, cheekily ask her which body parts she means?

  • Be unpredictable.

    Another way of making her feel that she doesn’t hold CONTROL over you. Remember, being in love is biochemically linked to the feeling of being out of control… the same part of the brain processes both emotions, so you don’t want her to feel like she owns you. I’d rather say this one too many times than one too few… so, keep things random. Sometimes message her a couple of times in a row, other times take ages to respond or don’t respond at all.

  • Be addictive.

    What creates an addiction… or even an obsession? Mixed signals! Women know this intuitively, and many are VERY good at playing this game with guys. They are experts at playing the “come here… no, go away” game. Do some of that. You don’t even have to take it to any extremes… showing a lot of interest one day and then dropping completely off the radar for a while, only to throw her another bone once you’re back is plenty and will do the trick just fine.

  • Be a challenge.

    We humans, as a species, always want what we can’t have. If you give children a blue toy, a red toy and a yellow toy, they are likely to pick each of them equally often. But if you tell them they can’t have the red toy, it suddenly becomes the only one they’re interested in. And you can be the red toy. Be the guy she can’t quite control… this creates a gravitational pull. Because just like we WANT what we CAN’T HAVE, we also DON’T want what we DO have. Think about it… if you want a pizza, that implies you don’t have one. If you have a pizza, you probably won’t want one if I offer you one.

It’s absolutely crucial that you’re not a dick about this… if you cancel a date, be polite. If you’re unavailable for a while, apologize. She invites you to come out on a date, and you decline… but you’re nice about it, because you’re just busy. Being a dick kills your attainability - and drives you too far in the direction of auto-rejection. A lot of guys mess this up and push women away unknowingly when they're first trying to get used to being in control in their relationships and first figuring out how to make a girl fall in love.

And there’s one more reason why you don’t want to go overboard and be an out-and-out dick here, too:

Since women are experts at playing these kinds of games themselves, they’re also really, really good at spotting them. Ideally, you want all of this to be an authentic part of who you really are, and something that naturally flows from the way you live your life. If you really are what girls look for, you won’t have to pretend to be a bit of a flake because you will naturally be too busy to chase after her.

How Much Interest Should You Show Her?

how to make a girl fall in loveIn the year 2 AD, an Ancient Roman poet by the name of Ovid wrote a famous book about love… it was basically the “How to Make Girls Chase” of the days of the Gladiators. That book was called Ars Amatoria, or in English: The Art of Love. Check it out… it’s an interesting read.

In the book, Ovid recommends that you be her mirror… whatever emotions she shows, you reflect them back at her. If she seems disinterested, you withdraw as well. If she comes toward you, feel free to do the same.

This is a pretty good concept, because it does a pretty decent job at preventing the passion trap. Keep in mind… relationships usually tip out of balance because one partner shows more interest than the other… one person falls more in love than the other, and loses control.

If you were to just follow this simple rule of Ovid’s, you’d be on safe ground as far as that is concerned.

However, it is a bit reactive and you’re really being too much at effect and not enough at cause with this system. If you want to spiral the relationship up to higher levels of emotional engagement – if you want to know how to make a girl fall in love and have it really stick – I recommend a technique I call “Mirror Minus One” – you mirror her, except you always show a bit less interest than she does.

This gains you some power in the situation… enough to occasionally make a push forward and take the relationship to a higher level by suddenly showing MORE interest than she’s showing.

If you’ve been paying attention, you also realize that this naturally creates a push-pull dynamic… it sends her mixed signals.

So… WHEN should you show less interest and when more?

The best answer is to follow simple behavior modification theory – show her more interest when she deserves it. You always want to reward behaviors that you like, because it strengthens them.

Onward and upward,


UPDATE: read the next article in Ricardus's relationship series right here: Relationship Problems: How to Know You've Got Some (for Men).

Related Articles from


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
I've been reading a lot of your articles and they are all very insightful and helpful. I realize that your goal is to get intimate with women as quickly as possible and that is what these articles and your program are about. However, I'm a very conservative Christian and the girls I date are as well. So we are more typically dating towards marriage and don't get intimate until then. Do your materials still work in this regard? Or do you have a more conservative site or program you can recommend that's similar? haha.

Anyway, I really enjoy your articles and think they're spot on, but like I said I'm very conservative and the girls I date are too. So any advice would be great. Thank you very much

Anonymous's picture

Christian girls are girl's too. This material works on all girls. Maybe slow it down/turn it up based on the personality of the girl. But definitely human interactions are always the same regardless of religion.

Franco's picture

Women will rarely be more aggressive at moving things forward than you are. Like the first reply said, Christian girls are still girls. Here's something you might want to think about: are the girls you're dating actually as conservative as you think they are... or are they just going on a date with someone who they see as very conservative, so they are portraying themselves as very reserved (so that you don't judge them negatively)?

Just some food for thought. Try turning things up a notch, and see if those girls are as "conservative" as you thought... =)

Marco 's picture

I'm in love with a girl since we were children ,but before i was afraid to say because she is my best friend and I was afraid to lost our friendship if I tell her last year I started to show her my interest , and she show me interest too at the beginning, but she stayed in the same level for months , now I feel our relationship started to decay as a friends and as a lovers.. I had interest more than her and I was starting the conversation for the most times .. I now I made a mistake I was out of control for awhile I couldn't sleep without hearing from her.. Her mother and my mother are best friends .. she's living in USA now and I live in Russia , but she's coming to visit us soon with her family you think if I started with your steps now I can get the control and get her back to my life or it's too late to doing this?? is there any other steps I can fallow so I can be more interesting to her ?? please help me because she is the only girl I have loved since I was a child and I can't imagine my life without her ....

Anonymous's picture

make good use of the visit. tell her how u feel because if she waits on you for to long she would move on. the fear of failure is failure itself.... from what you said she talks to you every time you call who knows it just might be more than friendship for her too. but she has got to be a lady else you might not value her if she does the chasing

Anonymous's picture

Yeahh, I actually make a mistake like u to....
If she came from far just wanna to see u it's mean she was hoping something 4 u……………

Anonymous's picture

im in a sticky situation, i met this girl when she was dating another guy, she cheated on him with me, and i know this a terrible way to start anything, but im litterally addicted to her. not trying to be shallow, but we are both very attractive people, we spend every waking moment together, she sleeps over at my house almost every night, 20 yrs old, and as far as i am knowlegable we are both faithfull to eachother. this has been going on for about 3 months now and doesnt look subject to change, but ive lately been mentioning what happens next. She admits she likes me alot, and we say we love eachother, but she is in this state in which she doesnt want a boyfriend and even went far enough at one point to say she would never date me. I called bullshit on that one because if thats the case then what is she doing now? would you not call what we have a relationship? its dating without the title 100% so how can she say she wouldnt date me. I am absolutely in love with the girl, i can tell she obviously isnt quiet in love with me but atleast ive got a little to work with. I would drop her in any other instance but i cant imagine being without her...

Anonymous's picture

Remember abundance theory my man, you feel like you can't bear to lose her because you think there are no other girls like her. Thats completely not true, the world is teeming with beautiful women. You say your not technically dating, so you should keep doing what your doing, but also take some time to get out there and meet other women. Not only will this show you that beautiful women aren't a scarce resource, but it will determine how into you this girl really is. If she gets upset with you hanging with other women, you know for sure she is into you and wants you to herself. I'm sure you can take it from there

Anonymous's picture

Ok the good thing about this is that you aren't in the friend zone, what i think you need to be doing is feigning disinterest, play a little bit of hard to get. Just an opinion.

Anonymous's picture

I am a female. I've been engaged 3 times and every guy I'm around always falls for me, idk why but I believe it's because I don't play these games or follow any of these rules. And I hate when guys take the advice given in this article. Yes us girls know what your doing. But quite frankly it just pisses me off. My advice: just be 100% honest and upfront . Text her when she textes you. Don't be unpredictable, unless thats your personality.Just be yourself . When a guy blows me off, I loose
interest immediately. when a guy often
takes ages to text me back I loose interest. When a guy straight up avoids my question, it pisses me off and makes me not trust them. If you feel uncomfortable with something, speak up. Don't just avoid a question that you don't want to answer, or lie. Just be honest, tell her I want to feel closer to you before I open up enough to answer your question.

Anonymous's picture

I completely agree with you. I think this whole article is off - any guy who would follow this advice would not be someone I'd like. I also lose interest when guys are inconsistent and elusive. If you really like a girl, be yourself and show it! I hope guys don't follow this article...

cobra's picture

this is complete BS. you are a girl and you know well why you fall in love with guys and you been engaged three times? really? so these three guys asked you to marry them and it never worked out? I wonder why? boring, predictable, and overly attached guys end up alone. I was a in a marriage before and I gave her everything and it never worked because I was always too available and too nice. ever since my divorce, I played the elusive man, unpredictable, and I get plenty of women, casual sex, and romantic relationships both.

to all you guys, here's my advice. listen to chase and his crew, these guys know what they are talking about. do not listen to a woman giving you advice about getting women. women are very emotional beings and don't follow logic like men. logic when applied with emotion will pay dividends. learn the art and then dominate.

life is much better when you have options.


Love Advice's picture

In reply to the female above and to others in general. I do believe being forward is very important. Not too forward tho. As an example, the situation where a girl asks an awkward question, don't try to ignore it or make joke. If anything she will believe your not taking it serious. If she asked you tell, if you don't want to talk about it don't bring it up. With regards to playing these "mixed signal" games. This is why so many relationships end in a later period. Because if these games do work you have effectively temporarily made her fall in love with you. How long can these games be played? Not long enough. Just show that you care for her, be there for her in need, listen to her stories, problems or personal secrets, then share back with her. And for the love of god, don't try to or even have sex after these conversations. It's a horrible thing to do after an in depth conversation. Because naturally after these conversations emotions are all over the place and she won't be thinking straight like she would normally. You will know the right time to express your feelings to her.

So basically, listen, share, take care of, don't try to hump after emotional times or don't even try would be better and be patient. Love doesn't always happen quickly. My girlfriend was and still is my best friend, because you always become best friends before a relationship. And that's what your looking for.

Anonymous's picture

Hi, I want to know that the technique, say push pull, or being mysterious is okey when you are talking about a girl friend or when we are looking for temporary relationship. But how to make wife to love me forever, because even after marriage there are divorce cases and love fade away after some years. All this push-pull or being mysterious can not be applied to a woman who is your wife, who stay with you all the time. Can you please share us the technique which is successful for long run relations... Thanking you

Anonymous's picture

i am a straight man looking for love again, especially after a divorce. my wife was the one that cheated on me, and i was a very caring and loving husband that was very committed to her as well. i even thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family, and now being in my late fifties it is very difficult meeting a good honest woman again. i am a good looking man that is very serious and down to earth, and i keep in shape and exercise too. but now it seems that there are so very many nasty women that have become very difficult to talk too because of their attitude, and that just makes it even worse for me. there are not that good places to meet a good woman for me anymore, like they had years ago. i will admit that i hate being single and alone, it is certainly no fun at all. it is very obvious what they say, married men will always live longer than single men. now i just go out and hope to be at the right place at the right time.

chaseee's picture

hey chase!
i m so desperate about my girlfriend v have met 2 years ago and till then ve have been in love she was showing interest in me deeply in the start of the relationship v have been dating around etc. but now.....she has lost her interest in me she is controlling our relationship and she is the one to call for me 4 a date when where and how also....she is the one who starts the text and end it...actually i am not been able to loose my interest towards i say i love you and she say i know:p and i used to get out of temperament saying her bad things and go for breakups as well....but she is so calm and control she feels happy now hurting me and feeling as if i m her servant to do her me please i m very desperate......

Anonymous's picture

This post makes a lot of sense, and I'm a girl. I fall for every single one of those tips... and I get bored easily when someone is "way too easy". However, past a certain point in the chase - once both parties have accepted that the relationship is exclusive, the "playing hard to get" has to get tuned down a bit, or the girl/guy gets frustrated and confused. But... this has to occur at the right time. If the girl/guy makes themselves too available too early on, the other party will back off in fear of a "clinger" type personality.

Also, the personality type of the girl is important. If she is shy, playing hard to get isn't necessarily the right path to follow. However, it works fantastically for extraverts or girls who are used to attention from guys.

Persistance is also key, if she doesn't wanna go on a date, be charming and the right amount of annoying until she gives in. The first time you hang out is crucial to the relationship, and only afterwards can you start playing hard to get. If she thinks you're not all there, she may feel like you weren't impressed enough by her during the date and will want to change that.

Good luck....

Anonymous's picture

I've been reading a lot of your articles and they are all very helpful. iam in love with this christian girl and i always see her at church. we have a meeting every week, i like her very much and i think she likes me too, problem is there's another guy at church who loves her. he left his country for her but i asked her friends they told me she always gives him hard time she's not into him. i sent her flowers without writing my name on it and she was flattered bec she WROTE A STATUS on fb saying that she really liked it she post on her sister's wall even though her sister knows that i sent it anyways and last week i drew a pic of her and i gave it to her. i think she was impressed she even showed it to other guy who loves her because he was standing right behind us what should i do now am sorry if its long and excuse my english thnx. btw i go to her job to get car wash and i wait for her break to go with her at macdonalds. give me a good advice plz thank u

Shire's picture

Hey Chase, I've always been a PUA/Player type. Recently, I've gotten into a relationship with my now GF and want to make her fall in love. She complains that I don't show feelings while she shows me hers, also, she complains that either I'm always dominant or want it to be equal, she complains that why can't she have the power once in a while?

She is also saying I bring her down (this has to do with me not complimenting her as much as she compliments me, I've called her beautiful perhaps 1 times for every 8 times she does it.

If I keep this up, will it make her fall in love or will she auto-reject me?

Xhemi's picture

I talk with a girl that i love since a 1 year ago, we never had a relationship even she said that she loved me but she never been safe for her feelings..then we broke up 1 month , and then we start talking again , and now i think that she think that i love her and she owns me ,,, i want to know what to do to show her that she dont owns me and not to show much love(even that i love her and i can get her out of my mind) when i talk to her..
sorry for my bad english..
Very nice work with the site

all the best

Anonymous's picture

Hello y'all, I have met a foreign girl that will be leaving the country in a month and a half. we have been hanging out and visiting my state for about a month. We are having sex and really enjoying our time together. I really like her and it is rare to meet a girl like her I know this because I have been with over 15 sexually and I have never had this attraction before. It is more than the sex that I like; it is her personality. she is 21 and i am 24. She does not want to be in a relationship and wishes to travel about in her 20s which I respect but this girl is always wanting to be with me and really is attracted to me. can I change her mind? what can I do? what should I do? thanks

Anonymous's picture

hey chase your whole article are right to a girl who wants to chase, eventually i used mixed signals to a girl who shows me hard to get situation., for me everything will be a challenge if you show this type of theory, one who get out of control will lose..

salam's picture

I am handsome guy . But I never get who I really love, only those I don't love keep knocking. This is the 3rd gurl I will be loving and I love her with all my hrt. This gurl know I love her, but she told me she has lost her feelings. She said she has neva feel in her life. And she is not ready for relationship, but am losing it, only advice I want is how to get this gurl and I will be happy for real.

Anonymous's picture

hey there may be its you .may be you weren't there when she needed you applying this rules. i loved some one who applied all this rules but he made me not to trust him .i still love him but i know i don't want to end up with the guy that i cant trust .what i can't deny is that i still love him i can't get him out of my mind

Anonymous's picture

I enjoyed your article. There's this girl that i have an interest in; we have common goals, same interests etc. We knew each other about two weeks ago. Eversince we met, this girl has proven herself over time that she's the type of girl every good man deserves. But the problem is this, she said she is taking her time to finding a serious relationship and me too i have the same yearning. I spoke to her on the first date she asked me to give her some time to absorb me, knowing me more. We have met about twice and it's been a blast so far; she calls me most times, not as if i only call her. She messages me... im still in the friend zone which i know. She calls me and we talk for several hours without getting tired of each other. We miss each other's absence but she hasnt felt the chemistry yet. In this case what should i do to get her fall for me? I deeply love this girl because her personality is priceless. Please i need your candid advice. Thanks.

Anonymous's picture

hi there. i am an average looking, confident, smart guy. i had really deep feelings for this girl in my class from about 1 year, but never told her that because i thought there were a lot of misunderstandings about me in her mind! so, i wasnt even good friends with her. then we had summer vacations, and i started to act desperate and started msging her daily... she was positive about it, but then out of desperation, i proposed her in a message! she said she likes me, but advised not to get involved. we chatted daily for about a month or so, and called about 5-6 times, but never met, and i never discussed the love part again after proposal (hoping that this can be done once we are good friends, but we are just friends)... i used to flirt with her though from time to time, and she was neutral at those times..., until this, when she is not replying so actively to my msgs... i am really getting desperate thinking what to do... should i be patient and stop msging completely, or just be normal? or call her and discuss the whole thing? please councel! really in need of it.

Anonymous's picture

Have dated a girl for two years, but she told me she likes me so much but don't have the mind of being in love, have used many ways to confuse her and for she to learn how to be in love with me but nothing good come out of it, she know I love her but she don't show me love, have found out about her type falling in love is very difficult for her to break, How may I make her to love me.

neal's picture

i hv met a girl on the marriage party a month before and i liked her.
After few days i proposed her and it is accepted by her. we hv returned to our home.... (its kind a long distance relationship) Now i want to talk with her too often desperately, i do message her frequently, but may be she has a problem to text me back and talk with me staying at home.. i cant sleep at night without listening her. some days she talk and some days not and den i ring her for 5 or 6 times, may be more, but she does not receive if she don't want to talk.
i get nervous when she does not receive my calls or not response.
i love her soo much . i told her that i cant live without her...i m confused, help me showing right way.. please.

Anonymous's picture

I have a crush but I'm too shy to talk to her and I want her to notice me ... and get to know each other ..but I can't how to get close to her guys.... :"(

Anonymous's picture

First of all it is very hard to make a woman fall in love with us men, and many of us will get Rejected. And yet they will go out with the Creepiest Looking Men that i have ever seen, Go Figure.

Naven Johnson's picture

This site is a fountain of knowledge! I never thought I would be in need of so much of this info at my age and and the stuff I've experienceed but maybe that was part of my mistakes..thinking I had it all figured out! I'm wondering if you have addressed in any of your article a situation like the following :

I am currently talking to and having weekly sex with my ex GF/Fiancee of 5 and a half years. She dumped me she says and I believe because of my alcoholism. Fair enough.

I spent 2 and a half weeks in the hospital this September detoxing from booze and doing a patch up job on my ravaged body. I have since dedicated myself to sobriety and doing whatever I need to do to get out of the hole I have dug for myself. (I have been sober successfully before)

I contacted her when I was admitted into the hospital and we started a civil phone relationship. When I got home from the hospital I made an all out push for spontaneous NSA sex and she came over that night and we had awesome intense sex.
She has told me she has been seeing at least 2 other guys but does not hve sex with them (I DON'T believe this)

The advice here is invaluable but assumes the man has not yet gotten the woman in bed. What about those of us who passed that stage a long time ago and are even getting it at present but are trying to overcome the burden of past bad memories she has of me (us) and being at a disadvantage with the new guys who have not had time to screw up yet?

Thanks again for this sigte!

Anonymous's picture

I met this beautiful girl, It had to be love at first sight! I gathered up a 10 men mariachi band and serenaded her on her birthday! I have never gotten past that moment! It caused an indescribable feeling. It has been 7 years, It always seems that I'm the one who shows more interest to try to make it work. I see myself with her for the rest of my life but, don't know if I should keep fighting for her love or if it all has been just a waste of time, we have many things in common, similar taste, comparable both physically & mentally. Im in college and am working on providing a bright future for my future wife and children, creating a source of providing financially to all of our needs. We have many mutual friends, and share many commonalities, she has met my parents and I have met hers, after the serenade I think her mother likes me. She inspires me to create art & write poetry about her, great works of art can be intense at times. I sometimes think she's the one that God has for me, but other times I feel like moving on to a more beautiful girl and give her all the love and more that I had planned to give the previous one. I am a man that never gives up on what he wants until he gets it. If I cut off communication somehow either from txt, insta, snapchat, or Facebook, she somehow reals me in. And after this happens here my dumb self comes back like a "Puppy" with his heart in his hand.

What do you think of this case Scenario? and What do you advise me to do next?

manish's picture

I fell for a girl at the very first moment I saw her.We both are in the same class in our college.I liked her very much and so I used to give her eye contacts.The best part was that she gave me eye contacts too.Not once,not twice,but many times!As time passed by,I realised she was interested in me.But I couldn't go there and talk to her.I am a shy and nervous guy.Its been over 1.5 years that we both been watching each other but we never spoke to each other.After a year,she doesn't look at me like she did before.The thought of her moving on scares me.I don't even know if she has a boyfriend.
I love her so much but just can't express my feelings to her.I just want her in my life so bad.
What do I do now?
Need some advice from you guys.would appreciate it.

Anonymous's picture

hii chase. i think am so much in love with a girl who is my classmate in campus. The girl does not seem interested to me or any other person in class. We talk a little though; most of the times its usually academic stuf.. what should I do. Help me please i would really appreciate it

henz's picture

Mirror minus one, why that's f*cking genius. My game has gotten pretty strong reading Return of Kings and this site. I've always had it, but man this smokthed iut the edges. Just started seeing a nice, very attractive girl. All good, she is definitely into me because I tell her she's cute or sexy at the right times but not too often and I contrast those words with my actions. Thanks.

fon's picture

Hello, there is this lady I meet at my friend birthday party. I asked her for dating program which she accepted. we started getting closer to each other and i make my intention known to her. She told she will think about it and after some time she told me that she is not interested in a relationship, but we should allows things to flows naturally. she has been coming to my house only for me to help her for her studies, and I have not seen that natural flow for a relationship as she told me. I do not know if i should talk to her about the possible of a relationship or i should just moved away from her.

Anonymous's picture

I love this girl who loves another guy but this guy doesnt know that she loves her. One day i opened up my feelings for her and she told me that she is only interested in my friendship. I apologized for bringing that conversation up as it was making her uncomfortable. Fortunatily she accepted my apology and is willing continue as friends. But for me she means the world and i cant think about living a life without her.
I know that the easiest way is to move on with my life but i am looking for a miracle. She is willing to meet me and have my company at coffee shops and all.
I know talking about my love during our chat is a suiside for our friendship. I would like to know how to manipulate this situation to my advantage.