How to Ask a Girl Out and (Almost) Always Get a “Yes!”

Hey Chase,
Great article on Asking a girl out for Date..But recently a thing happened with me which made me feel like I need to get good at Asking for date. Some days ago I approached a girl in my college and had conversation with him and then I asked for Phone No and she said that "I usually don't give out phone numbers" and after this I said him that " Oh..come on... I am only going to call 15 times a day"..but after saying this... till the end she didn't gave her number...Again after a week I saw him and stopped him to converse with me..and then I asked the phone no again..and then she gave it to me...I called her next day and said" I think we should hang out ...someday"..but she said "Why do you want to hang out with me"..I said " because I want to get to know you better"...and she said .." No..Things should be mysterious between us..."
So Chase ..In this scenario whether it was mistake from my side or the girl is insecure to be with me...I can't get it..What should I have done ...or should I leave this girl....???

Hi Chase,
Your post is an instant confidence booster.

Now coming to the point. I am 28, she is about 22-23. I have known this girl for about 18-20 months. Don't judge me, but I was a TA for her classes 2 semesters and had be attracted to her since I first met her. But the issue regarding ethical values when you are a teacher held me back. Now its a point where I am not going to be her TA anymore in any future classes. University policy says a TA can date an undergrad when the TA has no further influence on the grades. So legal and ethical issues are not my concern. While I was TAing her class, she would occasionally stop by after class to just say Hi, or come to my office hours. Would praise my change of hair style and dressing once in a while pretty much in front of the class. I have a feeling she did like me, what manner I am not sure.

The thing is, the only means for me to contact her is through facebook. Yes we are friends on facebook and based on what I have read on her profile I know she is single and a very good chance that she is open to dating. I am not sure what are my chances of running into her to ask her out. In case I do I know what to do based on your article. If I don't, how do I approach her on facebook without feeling creepy or as if I am stalking her profile. I still need to wait for atleast 23 days before I can ask her out as that is what falls past the grade altering period. As you said, I am not planning to wait a single day past that. Please tell me how to go about it and what kind of questions would be good icebreakers in such a situation.

(Note: Guys who want to talk about ethics and professionalism, please don't bother to respond. I have had enough time in last 20 months to analyse that and I came to this point after a lot of thought process as well as faculty and staff advice.)

Thanks in advance.

hi.
i saw your article and i was wondering on how to ask out a girl in this instance.
well we have been talking for a long time now and were very good mates.we are now really good mates and were meeting up with a few of our mates and im planning to ask her out then. can i have any suggestions on how to. if so this would be great

Hello

There is this girl I like a lot, she comes into our bookstore, we have spoken a few times. I gave her my business card, she is into photography and makes videos for their company, I recently asked her for coffee, she agreed and opted for a drink instead. I agreed to it (not knowing she drinks) I haven't seen her for a while, and bumped into her again now friday (23/08/13) and just confirmed if the drinks is still on. She said yes, it is. She even said even if its at a pals place or wherever it suits me. The thing is she hardly goes out (find it strange cause she is very pretty) and she wants to unwind abit. Problem is she has not made contact with me since we spoke or since I gave her my card, I didn't want to ask her number, didn't want to look to desperate. So I ask you, what now, how now? What do I do? I don't want to come accross as pushy or something like that? What now?

Hey Chase, I read your article and I got to say I haven't done any of this stuff to ask out girls to say yes. It just cones natural to me. I have this I don't give a shit attitude and just ask in different ways that I think are good. But you are right. You just got to be confident on your approach. That is the key to asking a girl out basically.

Is it ok to ask a girl out (not just a date, like boyfriend and girlfriend) by a call or text?

Ok, so theres this girl that is temporarially in France ai like. I have her dkype but how do I ask her out thru that?

Hey Chase, I have some serious dilemmas to consider. I was recently divorced after being with this girl for 5 years. We still communicate and there are still feelings there on both of our parts. However, she says she doesn't want to fall back into the same old routine. I used to take things personal every time she got mad, but now I realize women do that once in a while. We've been hanging out off and on now for about 2 months. Everything I feel like I'm making positive progress, she brings up some bad point in our past and she then gets into the mouse like everything will be bad because of those little moments. She is 22 and I am 30.

The question I ask is when is it time to give up and move forward with dating? I love this girl but it seems like she doesn't know what she wants with her life.

Before I met her, I lived in another state and worked horrendous hours. I never really dated, so she was pretty much my first "relationship/dating" experience.

I have a date with her tonight, which I pretty much just told her she was going. I'm thinking that while we are out I'm going to just ask her to be my partner again, if she says she doesn't know, do I move on? Every time I start to give up she comes chasing me, just to stop as soon as I show interest. It's all very confusing to a guy who doesn't have the experience. Any possible insight would be great.

Chris

Hi Chase,
Just found this page after attempting to ask a girl out I've liked for ages and realized I've made a few mistakes. I asked her out to the cinema on the day I was talking to her over fb. I got a "no" saying they are going the day after with their friends.
This is the first time I've been able to speak to her due to the fact there was a works do the night before and she was there. We are both very quiet but opened up after a few drinks, and after talking to her made me like her even more.
So I plucked up the courage to pop her up on fb the next morning, when she started teasing me about the night out I saw a window to ask what she was doing that day, she said nothing so I asked and got a "no".
I am wondering were I go from here, and I have still never spoken to her without alcohol involved.

Any thoughts would be gratefully appreciated, I like her a lot and want to end up in a relationship with them if possible

Ok so I recently started chatting with this gal #1 that I've known (not well) for some time and things escalated quickly to where she wants me baaaad. She also lives several states away and with having my oldest daughter living with me it would be difficult to get the freedom to go see her and then there is the fact that she already is talking about wanting to live with me. I like this woman a lot...but my predicament is that another woman #2 whom I basically dumped because I had gotten back with my ex (my children's mom) came back into the picture and says she still loves me (mind you I care very deeply for this woman and kick myself for dumping her). 2 questions: How do I let #1 down the easiest and how do I get #2 to want me more than ever and reassure her the situation wont happen again?

Hi there's this girl I really like and have wanted to ask out for a while but haven't had the guts to and am not sure she likes me. Last year I sat opposite her and next to her in a few classes, one thing I didn't get was when she walked into the class she pretended to hate sitting there but then we got along really well that was the only time I spoke to her but this year I should sit next to her but my friend swapped places. Also sometimes when I turn my head in her direction sometimes she's looking at me. She smiles a lot when I make a joke in class. The main reason I haven't asked her is because she's one of the most popular girls in the year and people will never let me forget getting rejected so from what I've said does she like me or not.

I need help. Last year i was good friends with the girl i liked and asked her out, she said can we just be friends and we havent talked much since. But lately ive been talking to her alot (And im really shy and not that confident) and im starting to like her again, how would i tell if she likes me or whens the right time to ask her out?

i asked a girl out and she said no to me but at school she acts like she love me it is very confusing and she whats to talk to me over kik but i have been banned can you please shed some light to help me please i beg of you

Ok, I have a girl i asked out but she's not replied me but i dont want to give up she goes to my church as i do and i always seem to catch the same bus as her and i trying to ask her out but i have no idea what to say or do any ideas?
thanks.

This will help me so much!! Thank you!! You rock!!

i read this because i have been wanting to ask out a girl that i like for a while now. the only problem is we were virtually best friends forever and my classmates knew we were close. close to the end of the last school year i decided to slowly get closer and closer to her but something backfired. my classmates started teasing me by going on and on about how we would make a cute couple and other s***. later they had enough of teasing me because i ignored them so they started teasing her. this kept going and soon rumors were out that we were dating and no one would leave us alone. i knew that this was closing my window very fast so i gave her a present and some flowers and wrote a note for her asking her out, next day she hates me. now its been 4 months and i have been using my afterburners to regain the ground that i lost. just today i emailed her about the concert i was taking her to. stupidly i said sorry that everyone teased u about "dating" me and right then the conversation ended.she won't answer the phone her emails or anything.

what the f*** did i do wrong i tried to apologize. please chase i need your help what do i do?????????????????

How's it going Chase? I am new to your website but I find it very informative and helpful although I am bit confused on one part of this article. You state when asking a girl out we must strike while the iron is hot and not wait around for the "perfect moment". However doesn't this tip conflict with asking a girl out on a "high note'? If we attempt to be timely in asking a girl out we may end up asking her on a not so "high note". Or if we approach a girl and just wait for her to laugh or to start talking about herself we may wait too long and by the time it becomes a "high note" it is also too late. I feel like i may be over thinking. I just wanted a second opinion.
Thanks for your time have a good one.

There is this girl thative liked for.a.while.now but I've never had a good experience.with girls because I'm really unpopular and she has said that I'm really nice but wouldn't go for.me what should I do?

Dear
Chase
There is a girl in my class and she is so cute she blows my mind and I can't make my self ask her out and she as a great friend that I know well. So I was thinking can't I just ask her friend to do it for me.
IS THIS A GOOD IDEA??

Thanks Chase just reading yhis and thinking about how it will go in my head rilly helps but how about geting a girl to like u agin
-Andrew Zamora

Hey I'm interested in a girl but I don't know if she likes me back, and right know I don't have really high self confidence, what would you suggest I do

I was trying to dig through the site for this, but didn't find anything. So I did get a response after proposing to meet up. But she didn't quite say "yes" or "no" about meeting up. She didn't actually respond with regard to the date/time to meet. She responded to the first portion of my text which was more about a personal matter that we had talked about at an earlier time. Do I continue to "calmly" persist, returning her/reminding her of the meet up idea? Or is her avoidance of the subject a signal to move on? In context, we have talked in person on more than one occasion, so there is some background there. We've just never done anything solely together.

Hey chase I just started reading your articles and I have a question about this girl who moved to my school about a year ago. There was this kid who picked on me a lot on the bus and she picked up on that and did the same. About a week ago I had this dream about her asking me out and ever since then she sits near me on the bus and in auditorium ( we have to sit there durin lunch due to grades being under 75) and I was wondering how I get her to like me so I could ask we and et a yes.

So I like this girl at school but I I'm a little scared of asking girls out. I think she likes me and in English she asked me to put her folder away and smiled at the same time. I really want to ask her out but I'm nervous. I'm thinking about asking her out tomorrow at school but we haven't got any classes together so should I wait until the next day we have maths or English together. We have pe but we are not in the same class I should still see her.

Hey, I really liked your article! I have just one question. There's this really nice and pretty girl I like, and we don't talk much, but she has laughed at my jokes a couple times, but I wanna ask her out. She's pretty popular but nice and not shallow, and I really think we should become better friends first. Every time I get around her I get nervous and only can manage a 'hi' or something along those lines. Do you guys have any suggestions? We're only in Highschool, too.

Hey Chase

Thank you so much for these great helpful tips but I have one favor to ask this girl at my school we both really like each other but I don't know where to ask her out to we are freshmens and I have the confidence to ask her out.

Thank you for every thing

I am in high school and has taken place over about 2 weeks:

This girl I like was dating someone but it had just started and she told me that she thought it wasn't going to last long because it was awkward.
She was at my house while she was waiting for basketball practice to start. When I was driving her to practice and we were talking an laughing and all that good stuff. Before she got out, I said, "if you and Mitch don't work out, I was thinking that we should go out".
She then said, "if it doesn't work out between us, I totally would date you".
I said, "awesome"
"Well, I have to go but we should hang out tomorrow at lunch" she said
I said ya we should and then she left. Soon after, she broke up with Mitch (her boyfriend). I have her a day to get over it because she didn't seem happy to break up with him. She wast at school for the next few days and when she finally came back, we were hanging out with one other friend and they were talking about her new boyfriend.
We still talk like we did when she said she would date me but I don't want to ask her out because she is happy with this other guy.
Did I miss the "window"? Could you please tell me what I did right and wrong? And what should I do at this point?

Thanks,
Ryan

i know a girl since a year , i like her to much, and was a party one night and she was at it, and I offered and I said to her can we og out and talking little bit i like to talk With u ?? she said no i cant , i said her sorry that i disturb you and i leave from there , but when i come at home i wrote her on fb she is not on my friends on fb but i wrote her , i said something less than I wanted to say if we spoke out, is that the colors were smiled visit tonight with an opening , but she just read and didnt Write back , but i want to Write her again now , what should i say ?? any idea

Hey Chase,

I'm actually 17, I wanted to know if maybe dessert, or something cheap and then a movie is acceptable to?

First of all, I really like your article and what you are doing, the advice seems great. But for my situation, I believe that I need a perosnal response. So there is this gorgeous girl in my AP English class that I want to ask out. Me and her have a lot in common from the few conversations I have had with her. I can tell that I grab her attention when I talk to her, I have also caught her glancing at me a few times in class. I wouldn't say we are best friends, as we don't see each other that often and we have only struck up a few conversations ( one reason I want to hang out with her, but give her the impression that it's more than hanging out, if you know what I mean). The main problem that I'm trying to face here is MYSELF. I get really nervous around girls that I really like, as I'm afraid I will RUIN everything. But I have no problems what so ever around friends. I recently purchased a new camera and was going to see if she wanted to go shoot some photos and grab lunch with me, we are both big in photography. Does this sound like a good first date idea? Also, how exactly should I ask in this situation? Thanks for any insight

Hey Chad,

Awesome article, bro. One question: What should I do If I am interested in a girl, but I just recently broke up with an ex? This new girl is aware I had a girlfriend and right now its sort of an elephant in the room. She seemed interested until she found out I was with someone, but my feelings for the ex. were long gone. Please don't tell me I'm screwed.

Hello Chase,

When I was in high school I fell for this really shy, beautiful, intelligent, conservative Christian (I too am a conservative Christian) and I felt there was a connection. Though I knew nothing could happen then as we believe in courtship and we were to young to court she would ask questions like "if you were dating a girl would you hold the door for her?". What friend would ask that if they weren't interested? We went to different churches, her's was a little more conservative compared to mine (she's Apostolic and I am Brethren). We both were studying for business and had many classes together and we also had a lot of common interests. We talked a lot during our spare class and I remember nearly everything she said.

After high school ended we went separate ways, myself to study business at a university and her at the college. We did not get in contact for nearly 3 years but I still thought of only her as a marriage partner. Then I felt ready to start courting her so late Summer 2013 I went to her church to see her again, she remembered me and we talked a bit. I've probably been to the church about 8 times now since then, all of our conversations have been just small talk since I'm a shy person too and felt if I came right out and asked her out I'd get a nice "no". Don't think I'd be able to handle that from the girl I've crushed on for 3 years (before reading these articles though).

I got her number and I was the one initiating the texting and doing much of the talking (just read the new texting article so will keep all texts breif, I was ECG) and she did very little. She is very shy so I thought I'd ask her on a "hidden date" where we would have a meal somewhere with another mutual friend of ours from high school. The mutual friend, she attends the university with me and we are very close and she too wanted to get in touch with my crush, she doesn't know I like my crush as more than a friend. This way my crush would feel more comfortable with me and we'd be outside of the church (that's the only I've seen her).

I asked my crush if she wanted to go to but she declined the first and second invitatio. She works all through out the week and usually has plans on Saturday. I'm getting worried as I've read if she declines 2 invites she is most likely not interested. I believe her schedule is like Monday to Friday 12-7 and I don't think she'd like to go out after 8 or so. When I went to her church I casually told her some memories from high school she told me and she didn't remember them. I thought nothing of it but my mother said that might hint she wasn't interested though I feel she just didn't remember.

Every time I am about to give up on her she texts me to come to her church and fills me with hope once more! She does that technique of varying the time of texting but to the extreme! I don't want to give up on her but she's not giving me enough to build a relationship, let alone a strong friendship. She may be doing this because she is very shy and doesn't want to make a mistake with her choice but it's going much slower than I like.

Any advice you can offer would be extremely helpful! I might text her soon and see where her work is so our mutual friend and I can visit her at work since we can rarely find a good time to get together. Is this a good idea or should I lose the mutual friend until after I have a stronger relationship with my crush? She is like one of those typical 50's good girls who always follows the rules, don't stay out late, etc and i love that in a woman. Sorry for the long post, I'm desperate to know what I should do with my crush if 3 years and can't wait to hear from you!

Hello Mr chase,My name is Kester.There is this girl in my class who has a crush on me,she smiles every time we make eye contact,she looks for every opportunity to touch me but When I try Talking to her,she starts acting up like she isn't interested in me...I want to be sure she is into me and also I want to know how to ask her out...Please I need your help.

Hey Chase. I've been a reader of your articles for a few months now, and I can already see improvements in my own "game" with women. I was just wondering if anything changes significantly when asking a girl out over text. Is this a big no-no, possible to do, or what?

hi chase
i liked your tips and would like to ask my question
"I am a attractive guy in my class, confident and polite.i can tell by body language of girls they like me but i still dont get a date, because the girl that likes me her best friend also likes me and then both decide to leave me even if i ask one of them.
what should i do?
please help!

Theres this girl im interested in, she is one of those feminist independent woman which like to make their own decisions, shes from my school, sits on the same desk with me and we talk a lot, but she also talks with other guys a lot and even jokingly calls one of them her "husband", I never had a GF before and im really nervous because im afraid she is interested in an other guy. I was thinking of asking her out to go to the movies, but there are no really good ones around. If the movie is bad/ she is not very into it, is it bad for the date? Please help, im probably going to ask her out as soon as we have a good conversation. Thanks in advance!

Hey,
I have been scarred from my past two expeiences asking girl out, I'm now terrified of asking this girl out. I'm friends with her but we are going to different schools but will still each other quite often. I'm not sure what to do so any help is appreciated.
Thanks

Chase, you have given us all good info, but I don't know how to find out if the girl likes me back. Here is my story. There is a girl named Brianna. ( sexiest girl ever!!) she never really payed much attention to me, but when she did, it seemed like a couple of times she was doing a little bit of flirting. Another thing.....I can't decide if I love her or just want to have sex with her. She is soooo beautiful but I don't know much about her. I am open to any reply's from anyone, but mainly chase is the one I want to be answered by. :-)

Can anyone please help me on this one
Alright so there's a girl in my study hall I met her about3 months ago she's really cute in my eyes she sits next to me we talk to each other but no a lot like 2 or 3 times a week she stares at me and every thing when I'm talking to my friends and I think she likes me too. I like her but I don't know what to do I'm scared if I ask her out she might say no and then it's gonna be all wired and if she says yes than idk how to handle the situation I have gone out with a girl before but that was a different matter buz she like me and she asked me to sit next to her so that's how we want out I need help please

The girl will not date me and I ask 20 times

Hi chase this girl I like knows i like her and she's saying she likes me too. The other day she said if I asked her out she would say yes and I freaked out and never asked her, but then the next day she says she wants to go out with me but she can't deal with a relationship. Is this her trying to let me down nicely or should I try and ask her out?

I've never tried this does it work I would like to know.

Hey Chase,

First of all, huge fan of your website. You give a plethora of amazing tips, techniques, etc. Problem is, I just haven't been able to put them to good use :/

Now to the main issue:

My friend invited me to his New Years Eve party. Among the other party-goers was this girl that I've had a crush on since the beginning of October: extremely cute, funny, intelligent, great smile, beautiful eyes, the whole nine. We exchanged glances I don't know how many times in the six hours we were there. They weren't too long or too short exactly, maybe no more than two seconds each, so no awkward/creepy stares (I think). At least three-fourths of these glances involved small, subtle smiles from each of us. Is this a good sign?

From past reads of this article, it became clear to me to not pop the question at a party. And I didn't. The thing is, though, I never even made an attempt to talk to her (wow, right?), plain and simply because she was with her friends for the duration of the party. After the party and coming home, I text my friend about her because I know that his sister is one of her friends. I found out through texting my friend that she is in fact single and a friendly girl. AND that she and I both have in one major aspect in common: we've never dated anyone.

Another key hurdle here: we're still on Christmas break until next Monday, the fifth, so I'm unable to talk to her until school resumes. That kinda complicates your "You ask her out within a few days of realizing you'd like to ask her out -- preferably, you ask her out within a few minutes of realizing you'd like to ask her out." under "Strike When The Iron's Hot" point.

At school, I see her before my 1st period Calculus in the morning, between classes in the hallways, lunch, and in my 7th period study hall before I leave high school for home. Trouble is, she's usually with her friends most of the time :/ If it's worth making a side note, she's currently a sophomore and I'm a senior.

I really, really like this girl and I really don't want to screw this up. This girl IS the kind of girl that comes around once in a lifetime and I want to make her mine. The major thing about this is whole situation is that I've never approached her/talked to her yet. But believe me, God I want to.

I would appreciate any and all advice or input that you are able to provide.

Thanks for your time,

Nick

Hey bro Chase, i am actually a clg boy n i like a girl who stays in hostel. I like her from 3 months but I have no courage to even talk to her. I have never ever talked to her. Now i think she might already get asked by some1 so plz tell me wat to do

thank you this was really help full

Hi chase I'm not sure if you will see this but I just read it all and all the comments, but there I this girl I realy like and I have liked her for a while, but I go to an all boys school and she goes to an all girls school so I don't really have time to ask her in person, I have her phone number and we chat reguarly on skype but I don't think she's gonna like it if I ask her out on skype or via phone, what do you think I should do???

Thanks,
Hamish