Carnival of Dating Advice, 15th Edition
Here we are, with Carnival 15 of the Carnival of Dating Advice. This
is (I think) the biggest carnival we've had yet, with a total of 11
articles making the cut. Looks like submitting to the carnival made it
onto some folks' new year's resolutions this January.
Today we've got a panoply of articles, including some great reads.
The ones in the pickup section were two of my favorites, and I was a big fan of Tamika Lanelle's contribution this
time, presenting a perspective on relationships I hear few people
discuss. But there are a ton of solid pieces here, and enough good
material to keep you reading, thinking, and learning for a while.
Let's dive in...
Pickup
Pickup Podcast presents an article by David Wygant entitled "Become a Leader." Despite the title, what it's actually about is learning by mirroring others... and it's a great read. Highly recommended. I really enjoyed reading this one, and as someone who's learned much of what he's learned by watching others and mirroring them too, I can tell you right away that this article is dead on. Check it out.
A rather interesting and different sort of article that what we
normally see here, Ely North of Wayward
Advice (a site with a tagline reading "The Internet's only advice
column guaranteed to
lead you astray!") submits "Dating
Advice: Lusting for a Moron," discussing both the ethics and the
unexpected surprises of a hot fling with a dumb partner, saying only "What to do when you're physically
attracted to a stupid person."
Psychology
An interesting piece. I wasn't sure whether to put it under "Sex" or
"Psychology." I'll stick with psychology for now. Darius Belejevas of 2Have2Be2Do has shared with us
an article called "Sexuality.
Let's Get Dirty!" In it are discussed a number of the psychological
issues men and women have around sex and sexuality, with Darius saying,
"Article discusses the importance of
accepting our own sexuality and explores common unhealthy mindsets that
people have regarding their sexuality."
From Fearless Men, John
submits "Building
Confidence. Yours and Others." My recent article on confidence not
withstanding, this article is primarily about finding ways to avoid
negative influences, and build up positive ones - and that's certainly
a worthy endeavor.
Sex
Socratez of Socratez Online
presents "What
is Tantra for Dummies," a solid introduction to tantra, some
thoughts on pornography, and an interesting quote from Teresa of Avila,
saying, "Tantra is a gift to
yourself and your lover. This post is meant to introduce people to the
basic principles of tantra and how this ancient wisdom is easily
applicable in modern life."
Relationships
Sulagna Dasgupta of Love in India submits "11 Proven Ways to Keep Your Relationship as Fresh, New and Exciting as Your First Date," with a number of ways of keeping and reintroducing freshness into existing relationships. While I'm not 100% on the whole e-cards idea, that could just be the male in me speaking; the points on getaways and time apart are very well-noted. She says, "Feeling bored and same old in a long-term relationship/marriage? Here are 11 proven ways to magically bring back the currents of excitement and novelty you felt on your first date. Needless to add - each method described here is personally tested by me and my husband over years of living together and marriage."
Hailing from Ask a Wiseman, Jonathan Grant sends us "The Most Important Thing to Do in an Argument (which no one ever does)." If you're wondering what it is, I'll give you a hint: it isn't throwing heavy, breakable objects at the other person. About this article Jonathan says, "One of the most important parts of maintaining a relationship! Without it, you are playing with fire!"
Mr. CBB of Canadian Budget Binder gives us a quick read titled "Money Fights and Money Problems," which is all about getting to the root cause of money and budgeting differences and resolving them, before they eat your relationship up from the inside out.
Tamika Lanelle from her self-titled site Tamika Lanelle - Thinking Out Loud shares "Relationship Killers," a very solid article on some of the things that can do big damage to young relationships - including giving people incomplete pictures of your relationship, setting them up to have unfavorable views of that relationship, and bringing the wrong people in to weigh in on that relationship and affect it.
Shaun Rosenberg, from his
self-titled site Shaun
Rosenberg, submits "Overcoming
Jealousy in a Relationship," dealing with multiple approaches for
confronting and resolving feelings of jealousy, fear, and doubt,
describing it straightforwardly as, "An
article on how you can overcome jealousy in your relationship."
Marriage
Yvonne of Yvonne Chase (so
far as I know, we're not related) sends in a piece called "Friends
& Marriage – What’s Your Priority?," which presents the case of
two people in a marriage with very different priorities and feelings
about that marriage. It's an interesting case study of a wife who
clearly wants more quality time, and a husband who clearly wants more
freedom, and some of the straining between these conflicting two
desires.
Wrapping Up
... and that wraps us up for the fifteenth edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. If you're reading this and want to submit for next time, check out the guidelines here.
Hope you found these articles fun and useful. Tune in next time for more great posts from around the Internet.
Yours,
Chase Amante
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Comments
Carnival
Thanks for the inclusion in this carnival. There certainly is plenty of posts for me to read here. Cheers Mr.CBB
Re: Carnival
Thanks for your submission, CBB!
Chase
Mirroring
Hi Chase,
Could you sometimes post up an article about the art of observing and mirroring others in order to apply the skill for yourself? This is one of my favorite way towards learning but I havent fully understood the core of how it works, and the guy above though gave me a great read, didn't go in depth about the method itself.
Thanks a lot ;)
Learning via Mirroring
Hi NQ,
Absolutely - I've just added it to my post list.
Cheers,
Chase
That's great! Just one more
That's great!
Just one more small question for you about age difference. Im 18 now, so when I go out to meet new girls, especially in bar and club, chances are that I'll meet lots of girls in their twenties, and the language in my country (Vietnam) emphasizes a lot on age difference in the pronounces (i.e: instead of me-you, I gotta call her sth like 'older sister') which affect my power and control over the interaction quite a bit. So when the question about my age pop up in the conversation, it's kinda a pain in the ass for me. Hope you can help me figure this thing out.
Vietnamese
NQ-
Hmm, that's an interesting one. I might try just calling these girls "younger sister" anyway, which will probably feel weird to you at first but you'll get used to doing it, and some girls might freak out about it, but they aren't ones who'd date you anyway.
You're probably going to have to buck some cultural trends in this case. You may need to tell women you're older than you are, as even in the West this is one of the things you just can't get around... lots of women will freak out if they find out you're even a few years younger than them, so you need to actually tell them you're the same age or older. (this, incidentally, is one of the few times you will ever hear me say, "In this case, you should probably just lie," simply because there's so much cultural baggage attached to age that you it's almost impossible to get around without lying about it - you can tell her your real age later on if you end up in a relationship, and let the chips fall as they may)
Chase
Ho Chi Minh city
Thanks Chase, guess it gotta be that way. I'm also thinking about deliberately refusing to tell it to her in a way that makes her intrigued (ask her back: 'How old do you think I am?', and when she answers I'll just smile mysteriously and change the subject anyway).
Btw, I remember you once said you spent some time in HCM city, where I've just moved in from my hometown for college study. I've been going out a lot to explore the new environment and find places to meet new girls. If you have any experience about picking up here (places, venues, time, that sorts of thing...) that you can share with me, that'd be of really great help! :d
Carnival
Hey Chase,
Solid carnival and it's a pleasure to be included in it. Thank you.
Btw, article David Wygant - some really thought-provoking stuff, though I keep some skepticism at certain points. Would be really interesting to explore the topic from more angles. Will be looking forward to reading your approach on this topic when its published.
Cheers,
Darius
Re: Carnival
Happy to have included you, Darius. I'm looking forward to writing that post, too - stay tuned!
Chase
Carnival
Some good night reading, as always!
I'm just a tad interested in how you come by these posts. Do these websites submit them to you or are they ones you find yourself? I'm just a bit confused, as I can't see how you have time to stroll around while leading all your businesses.
- Knight
Re: Carnival
Knight-
You're right, I don't have much time to comb the Internet for posts. The way the carnival works is that it's set up on www.BlogCarnival.com, and sites can go there to submit for relevant carnivals. GC has a special inbox for those, so I just block out about an hour or so, read through all the submissions, and include the ones that I think add value or something new or a solid reminder of something relevant. Makes it easier than me navigating the web in search of new articles to link up..!
Chase
Hey chase, i've read your
Hey chase,
i've read your article on how to b a warm person and that helps me alot.but i still in doubt,you told about having a sexy voice but many people say you can't change your voice without surgery.whats ur opinion?
Voice
Anon-
There are some things you cannot change about your voice without surgery - e.g., even if you adopt an accent, or make your voice sound as different as you can, anyone with good computer voice matching technology can still tell it's your voice, and anyone who knows your voice well may be able to pinpoint it as you.
However, as for changing your clarity, articulation, resonance, purr, range, tones, and other aspects of voice... yes, absolutely you can change these. If you couldn't, we wouldn't have singers, or singing classes, or voice instruction. There's a great deal you can change about your voice, either on your own or with a trained vocal instructor. There are limits, of course, but there's a lot you can do with training.
Chase
Improving your voice.
I had the same problem. My voice used to quiver away, impacting on my will and confidence to speak. Furthermore impacting on my seduction game. When I bought Chases book, it made me realize that a strong voice with the right amount of purr, is essential in seduction and made a man sound powerful (especially when combined with the law of least effort). I've experimented with allot of different exercises the one in this link is to be the most beneficial for me so far.
http://sixminutes.dlugan.com/voice-strength-training/
I encourage you try this workout once a day. It takes 6-8 min. Do it once in the morning after breakfast. If you feel by the middle of the day (between afternoon-evening) your voice quivers away again, you can do the exercise once more. But don't do it more than twice, cause if you over do it you will damage your vocal muscles, and lose your voice and vocal ability for the whole day (till you recover through sleep). Trust me, I've over done it in the beginning, and it wasn't a pretty feeling. Cause just like the muscles in your body, it needs time to heal. If you do this everyday at least once, not more than twice, you will feel your vocal cords strengthening. The only trick to it is consistency. Once you've repeated this routine for days to months, your vocal muscles should strengthen enough, in which you may not need to do the exercise any more. I find that after I do this exercise I'm able to speak more confidently in public, and words come to my mouth like nothing before. You just feel more powerful. Hope this works out well for you!
Kurdo
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