How to Use Takeaways (Plus, the 5 Types of Takeaway) | Girls Chase

How to Use Takeaways (Plus, the 5 Types of Takeaway)

Chase Amante

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pickup takeaways
When girls tease, go off topic, get distracted, or turn mean, a takeaway may be in order. But the key to these is calibration: not too much, not too little.

We’ve talked a lot about takeaways lately on Girls Chase. Alek has posted a few recent articles onhit and run” in bars and nightclubs (where you talk to a girl for a bit, leave, and come back later). And in Monday’s article on handling disrespect, Hector made ample use of the full suite of available takeaways.

A takeaway is any behavior you use to remove your attention, interest, or even outright presence away from a woman. It can be an effective way to snap women to attention, to increase your scarcity (and thus, the urgency of hooking up with you), and to differentiate yourself from other men (many of whom cling onto any woman who talks to them like burs as soon as she gives them her attention, and would never leave or withdraw attention until they’d totally given up). Takeaways also let you fractionate your courtships, and are a powerful way to inspire women to chase you and do more of the work in the courtship.

You’ve felt the power of takeaways plenty of times before yourself. A girl you talk with shrugs her eyebrows and seems disinterested. A girl you are with suddenly shifts from warm and open with you to frowning and telling you she doesn’t think you and her are very much alike. Another girl you were flirting with suddenly tells you “I have to run – I’ll catch you later!” and darts off. All these are takeaways... though some of them (like when she seems disinterested) are lighter and more implied, while others (like when she darts off) are stronger and more demonstrative.

We’ll look at the different types of takeaways you can use in this article. Then we’ll talk about some times to use them, as well as some times not to use them.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASE’S MASTERY PACKAGE

Comments

DrFeelgood's picture

yo chase,

thanks for the article. enjoyed reading it. But I felt like you did not explain one aspect of takeaways (because I suppose it doesn't fit your style of game?). I noticed from observing one very (!!!) successful that he loves to use takeaways to get the girls chase him. So e.g. he would look bored or playfully bodyrock even if girls do not show the "negative" behaviour that you listed....

or look at this example of mine from yesterday: had this very good conversation with a girl in university. when she was talking about a tv show that she really likes (emotionally investing in the conversation) I interrupted her at one point:"did you finish your coffee?" and told her that I had to leave (which was true in that situation by the way). What was the result? She invited me to go to the movies with her over text and started chasing.

So could you talk about scenarios when to use takeaways not as a punishment but as a way to get INCREASE investment

Author
Chase Amante's picture

DrFeelgood-

Ah, good point. You're right, too much focus here on using takeaways as punishment and no real discussion of them as tools you can use proactively to ratchet up desire.

I guess the thing I'd say about that is "good in measured doses." Unless she's the sort who really gives chase in a big way and needs to always be chasing.

I used to do a ton of body rocking / verbal / nonverbal takeaways proactively in non-punishing scenarios. The difficulty with it is while it raises your value, it hurts your attainability. Do it too much, especially when you already seem like a high value guy, and girls can auto-reject.

These days I'll mostly just use takeaways proactively if a girl does not seem as interested as I'd like her to be. Though even then, I suppose you can consider it a punishment... she doesn't give you enough attention, so you start to withdraw from her. Either way, you are calibrating to the girl. Some girls respond really well to takeaways, and you can just be aloof the entire courtship and they will just chase and chase and chase. For many girls it's easy to overdo it though and send the girl into auto-rejection. Have to feel her out and calibrate to what works with her.

But that's the main thing to look out for with it, the attainability risks. So long as you use takeaways in measured doses and do not overdo it, verbal and noverbal takeaways are indeed very useful for making girls chase, in a proactive way :)

Chase

Michal's picture

Hello Chase,

I read sime stuff about micro expressions and psychology and also our lector in university pointed this out that the bored look you dedcribe and have a picture of a young dude in the blue short sleeved shirt displaying is actually face of contempt. What it says is something like "you're a dumbass, aren't you?" Or maybe not that serious but at least something like "really?" With a "what you said makes you look inferior to me right now" and I am not sure whether that is the intention of this. Maybe I forgot how you use this and it what context, I can think of making this expression when someone insults you or disrespects you or teases you inapropriatelly. But if you use this in a wrong way, you can come across as if you thought others are beneath you and you create a distance between yoursekf and them.

What is your take on this?

Regards,
Michal

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Michal-

Yes, it's a light degree of contempt, you could call it that.

The point of the bored look is to make a girl aware she's committed a faux pas.

Thing is, men don't use this expression that much. Women use it all the time. They use it to tell guys to back off or get lost, and they use it in female competition. So when you use it on them as a man, it carries both social threat (i.e., you are telling her she screwed up), but it's also funny (because guys never look at her like that).

So she will tend to laugh and start telling you "Whaaaaatt??? Why are you looking at me like thatttt???!!"

(if you use it on men, they'll usually just feel awkward and not know how to respond. Which makes this a great way to shut down guys trying to tool you or crowd in on a girl you're talking with)

But if you use this in a wrong way, you can come across as if you thought others are beneath you and you create a distance between yoursekf and them.

Yes. Bored looks, teasing, touch, compliance/investment requests, all these are ways of asserting dominance over other people. These are things socially successful men do, because to be socially successful as a man, you must be able to assert dominance over others.

You need to know when to scale it back. Don't use it on male ally friends. Don't use it on teachers, mentors, or bosses. Don't use it on your parents or elders. But DO use it on any young, fertile female, and do use it on men who rank lower than you or are making faux pas you need to correct (to not let them hurt your status or objectives).

Chase

SZ's picture

Hey Chase, took a Lil break from this site to calm down and I appreciate all of the patience you have with me.

I'm glad you told me to go talk to a counselor because I thought it was the wrong thing to do because I thought you were supposed to do it yourself.

I'm not in school at the moment because of some stuff that I seemingly always go through. So I can't talk to a counselor. Do you recommend anyone else ? I know in your depression article you said you didn't want to talk to psychiatrist and take pills, and I don't think you'd want me to do that either, let me know your thoughts!

I had some questions on things I'm working on right now:

1. Should I overwork myself for lost time?

2. A while back I remember reading a comment you wrote about if you worked retail or trade your time for money it be depressing. I agree, but all I have are those options now, so that strengthens my depressing. I'm educated, well spoken, study how to do interviews, worked on my resume many times, and I have not gotten shit, but retail. I want to know how can I not trade time for money?

And do you think working a full time job job ruin my motivation for making a business or learning skills?

3. Remember I made that comment about these young people making money on the internet ? Well I'm sure you heard about the lil kid making $11 million a year from YouTube. A lot of people make money off of YouTube and show off all of their luxurys, all of the time, I know some YouTubers who talk down on people who work jobs and stuff like that.
Then you got Instagram people who show off all of the time, then you got these hoes who don't work at all and just show their body and they don't have to lift a finger to get money at all.

You can't really ignore it either because it's all over the internet and news.

I love watching YouTube, but it makes me mad these people show off so much, and I don't want to put myself out there like that at all, I like my privacy, but it seems that's the only way I'll make a lot of money.

The thought of putting myself out there for the whole world to see is a bad feeling, they'll see all my mistakes, what if people talk bad about me from my past and now all of these people know it? I don't want to make myself known like that, I like my privacy. They also talk a lot about age on YouTube, so the age issue is very huge there. They talk a lot of crap about YouTubers ages, even if they're not that old. That's another thing that makes me mad and worries me.

But it seems that's the only way to make a lot of money.

They are buying cars and houses with this type of money 50k and up in a month!

I keep thinking that I have to do this, this is how I will be my own boss and get a lot of money, but the cons are I'm known by millions of people now, people might come from my past to try to expose embarrassing moments from my life that I would not want all of them to know.

It's a bad feeling to feel that I need to put my life all over the internet so i can get rid of all my debt, not have to worry about school anymore, not have to worry about what am I gonna do with my life anymore, not have to worry about money anymore, not worry about a car anymore, I could also fuck all of the pretty Instagram hoes because they'll know who I am, and they'll know I have money, they can't tell me shit, then I'll dump them after. I don't have to worry about finding a job ever again, and do things on my own terms.

Also you could lose your fan base as well and would have wasted putting yourself all on the internet for no reason.

Deep down I want to do this, so I don't have to worry about money, but I dont want to put myself online at all, I love being offline, I don't want to put myself out there, especially for the reasons I have mentioned.

I have trained in the past and there's a video of me sparring and not doing good and people on the internet always talk shit about people who don't do good at anything. The guy I sparred looked bad too, I look like I should have easily whooped his ass, but there's parts where I didn't look good.

That spar still hunts me til this day and one of the main reasons I don't want to be online.

There's Many people who have old videos found on the Internet that people upload, they do heavy research to do this to people.

What's your advice to my situation?

Should I spar someone else and whoop their ass and save the video?

The type of niche that seems the easiest is to really put yourself out there and vlog and make videos everyday. Mostly young kids watch these and you know their immature. They expect you to be tough and anything embarrassing, they will clown on you. That's why I have issues with my spar.

4. It seems the only way I'll make a lot of money is putting myself on the internet whether YouTube, blog, freelance etc. I really like to not put anything of myself on the internet, I loath it. I'd rather make money in private.

You even have a picture up if you ( how do you keep what you do private anyways? I'm sure people type in peoples names all of the time online to find them)

It seems that I have to put myself online to make a lot of money, but I want to keep my personal life to myself and I don't want stuff that people know about me on the net because they're jealous and make me want to look bad.

Saying that,

A. Are there was I could make a lot of money without having to show myself online?

B. How can I let go of these fears that I have of haters trying to embarrass me with stuff from the past? How do I handle it if it ever was to happen, (God forbid) and get people to still like me.

5. Is there a way I can fuck these Instagram "models" for free at all? Can I use game and muscles to seduce them ?

They're so pretty to me.

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Glad to hear it man. People get emotional. That's just life.

Pills I don't recommend, no. A lot of the recent research seems to finger pills as responsible for pretty much every school shooting and quite a lot of suicides. You pay a very high price for a "cure" that way.

A psychologist might be worthwhile if you can find a good one. I'd suggest you look for a male. If you get a female psychologist you will have to deal with subtle judging, which just makes things worse. I didn't want one personally because I knew I could fix things myself. I think you're at a point now though where you could use some help.

Other than that, you need to join organizations and socialize with people and look for cool, supportive friends. You need to find someone self-improvement oriented you can talk with in real life about all the areas you want to improve in, and encourage each other.

Should I overwork myself for lost time?

No. You will burn out and lose even more time.

Slow and steady wins the race. Most people only self-improve for a few years, if at all. It takes time to catch them when you start out behind, but once you pass them, if you continue to self-improve, they'll be far in your dust.

--

I won't discuss career advice anymore. You've tapped me out on that - there's nothing more I can tell you.

And do you think working a full time job job ruin my motivation for making a business or learning skills?

I don't know. Everybody's different. Maybe it will. Or maybe you'll get there and become much more motivated.

Try it out and see what happens. Give it a couple months to settle in (new jobs always suck at the beginning). Then reassess.

making money off YouTube

Yeah man, there are a million ways to make money in the world. Millions of them.

Key is same as anything: work smart, work hard. If either side of the equation is missing, it's just gambling and hoping you're the lucky fool who strikes it rich while millions of others trying the same thing fail.

The sparring thing... yeah, I guess. If I had something I thought made me look dumb, I'd just go get more evidence to balance it out that showed I wasn't dumb. Everybody gets his ass kicked sometimes. So long as it doesn't look like you get your ass kicked ALL the time, you should be good.

It seems the only way I'll make a lot of money is putting myself on the internet whether YouTube, blog, freelance etc.

You have not met enough businessmen if you think this!

The Internet accounts for, what, 10% of GDP? Everything else is brick and mortar.

Your other questions about how to make money I answered in those forum posts. That's all I know. I suggest you study a make-money guy, like Neil Patel or Dan Kennedy or one of those guys. They can help you a LOT more than I can on making money.

Chase

Jimbo's picture

Re: the calibration part. You seem to favor a too-strong approach to a too-weak one, if one has to go either way, but in the examples you mentioned, the one with the too-weak approach seems to have a better chance of correcting things and getting somewhere with the girl than the guy who just flipped out. What's the point of having some random stranger chick presumably respecting you more if you're not gonna get laid and will just end up making your company downright unpleasant? The two seem equally bad to me, which is why a sense of proportionality is so crucial to this.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Jimbo-

Right, proportionality is key.

I experimented a lot with both too-weak and too-strong over the years... mostly when I wasn't sure of the perfect thing to say and had to either grin and bear it, or get serious. My experience has been that too-serious will lose me the girl much of the time, but some of the time it causes her to apologize and/or become much more attracted. Meanwhile, not-serious-enough will get her to stick around, but I become a dead man walking at that point: she stays, but all you're doing now is wasting time, because nothing's going to happen. You've jumped the shark.

That said... this could be a "your mileage may vary" type of scenario. I have a kind of "this guy has his shit on lock" vibe, which makes tolerating disrespect much more incongruous for me than stamping out disrespect. I could imagine a kind of silly, light-hearted guy who is nevertheless sexually aggressive might be able to shrug off disrespect easier if he goes too-light in his responses sometimes since he does not have a 'respectable' image.

So possible caveat there: my impression of "if you have to err on one side, err on the 'too strong' side" might be colored by experiences that won't be the same for men with a different enough persona. It might be the opposite case for men with less serious / more "whatever man, let's just chill and have fun!" type vibes (or maybe not; I'd need to hear from more guys on this to have an idea on it, I don't have enough data on this specific item to say "It's definitely always X" or "It's X when Y is the case, but not when Z is").

Chase

Jimbo's picture

Okay, just finished reading it all. Nice piece, well detailed. Yes, keeping punishment proportional to the crime is key. I liked the examples.

This cutesy-cutesy nice stuff is great for talking to babies but it’s not how you want a woman you want bend over the side of your sofa to talk around you.

Hahaa, yeah something to think about. But I'll say this, sometimes it seems that your average woman gets 10x stronger when it comes to sex, like they're unbreakable, even the frailest ones. Some of these chicks say "fuck me like you hate me" because they know they can take it.

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Any talk about boring/girly/cutesy stuff is game. If she starts to tell you some long story about workplace gossip, a quick “I don’t think you and me are going to work out” in the middle of it...

I guess I get that, but it's kind of like you're punishing her for being a girl here. I mean, that's just what chicks do, what they talk about. Let her do her thing, just not on a date or something. I think a better approach to this is not to punish her but simply point out to her that that kind of chit-chat is better left for her girlfriend than for a guy.

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The thing to remember is if you do a takeaway and she shrugs and lets you go, you’re probably not missing out on a girl you would’ve gotten.

You know what, that's a good one! It can be used as a screening technique. If you lay a good, proportional takeaway and she doesn't try to correct herself, then you're just weeding out the uninterested/unavailable chicks.

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That guy in the last picture looks constipated. Is this some kind of "I wanna take a dump" takeaway?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

I guess I get that, but it's kind of like you're punishing her for being a girl here. I mean, that's just what chicks do, what they talk about. Let her do her thing, just not on a date or something. I think a better approach to this is not to punish her but simply point out to her that that kind of chit-chat is better left for her girlfriend than for a guy.

Guess it depends on your framing/delivery.

You can say it in a very intimate way: lean in; use strong, seductive eye contact; put on your bedroom voice; touch her; smirk at her; and tell her "I don't think you and me are going to work out." Very nice mixed signal... your body language tells her "I want you" while your words serve as a takeaway (this is usually how I do it; otherwise with me and my vibe it's too harsh a takeaway).

That guy in the last picture looks constipated. Is this some kind of "I wanna take a dump" takeaway?

Wouldn't be the first time anyone ever used that as a takeaway if so ;)

Chase

Jimbo's picture

Haha okay. Thanks for your responses, Chase.

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