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Your silence speaks volumes. But you don’t just need to use it to
be serious; you can use it to increase sexual tension, for better
communication, for humor, and more.
It’s where everything started and it is where everything will return to.
Silence is the sweetest sound in the universe. It is the language of God in purest form.
And you aren’t using it properly.
In the past, we’ve covered how to avoid saying something stupid by talking less. We’ve also covered how to use the pregnant pause. I also intend to write some pieces on concision and replacing words with non-verbals whenever possible; but for now, I simply want to talk about how and when to be quiet, and why it is so powerful.
Comments
Eyebrows
Ay Hector, awesome article as always :)
Let me ask you - my eyebrows are a bit thick, not too wild though, but i don't feel comfortable with them. I feel like thinning them... do you think this can be at least acceptable or even attractive to women as long as i have other constrasting manly facial features like facial hair? Thank you
On eyebrows
Hey Rodrigo,
I'm not Hector, but I am fellow thick, black eyebrow owner, so I hope you won't mind I chip in ;)
Definitely visit a professional and have them shaped (depending on where you live, it should cost about 1/3rd a price of haircut). When done right nobody will realize that you have your eyebrows thinned/trimmed. For guys the shaping is a lot more subtle (if you look closely enough, you can see that most male movie stars do this, but its never obvious).
It will make your face look cleaner, handsomer and I highly recommend it for every guy who has thick, dark eyebrows.
I would, however, advise against doing it yourself. You can do (and should) do the daily maintenance by yourself, but the shaping part should be left to someone who knows what she's (usually, it's a she :) ) doing. Otherwise you're risking having your eyebrows uneven.
And no, when done right, it doesn't look feminine at all.
Thanks guys
:)
Good Advice
Darius' advice is spot on :) I have super thick eyebrows also and a girl-friend of mine took me to her girl. She did a great job. Still masculine, but cleaner. Tell her to do just that. Keep them masculine, and she'll understand.
King of College
Hi Hector,
May i ask when your book on college game will be out? Also i would love to be the first to purchase it. I have a kindle and would find it easier to read on amazon, could it also be published there? Same as how Chase launched his book on amazon on texting girls.
Also will the book have information on how to meet girls on a college campus even if i only work there or am doing cold approach?
Halfway Done
I recently just hit the halfway point. I'd had it done 1/3 of the way through for a while but sat on it. Went through and edited that first 1/3 and it's at 250 pages. Then I'm at another 60 in the second "part" (there are 3 total) and will have the rough draft done by the end of May (I made a promise myself to finish it by then). Then I'll talk to Chase about getting a team together to whip it up in time for a late-Summer release so guys have it for the Fall semester.
It's going to be massive. Probably 600 or more pages (unless we decide to cut it down for marketing reasons, but I'd rather give you guys too much, ya know? I have a lot to say).
Hector
Silence is Powerful.
Since discovering Buddhism thanks to you, I've come to enjoy silence. Not only does it slow you down, but it helps you project your emotions better I find.
I have found that silence can sometimes make people think you want to be led. I've found better success leading situations when I speak more.
However, when you don't speak much and everything you say has purpose, people really do pay attention. It's fun when you haven't said much in a group of people, and when you do open your mouth everyone stops talking, turns their heads, and listens.
I think a good way of looking at it would be, to never say anything without purpose.
Is silence not a risk?
Thanks Hector for this wonderful piece, I wholeheartedly agree with your message on silence, including the spiritual qualities of it.
Just one point though, that is hindering me in making silence work.
I am in a high-energy friends group where each one is impatient and raising their voice to speak. While speaking, the others are eagerly awaiting their chance to chip in and develop what's said by the other. It is almost a fight to get the word and once speaking I do not want to be interrupted early on. But when I make a reasonably long pause or drop a silence between sentences however, someone else simply jumps in and fills the silence by taking over the word. And I noticed these dynamics not only in ny own friends group but pretty much any social gathering where group conversations are going on. Do you agree with me that silence can also be a risk of others talking over you? And if you agree, how should we deal with this with regard to using silence?
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