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When I was seventeen I overdosed on cocaine. I weighed 107 pounds and was 5'9" - needless to say, I was skinny. It's been eight years since that event and I now weigh 165 pounds and am around 7-8% body fat. I have been asked to be a fitness model and to competitively powerlift. My journey from being a skinny kid to a muscular bro was motivated almost entirely by my goal of bedding more women.
And although putting on a lot of muscle didn't give me the results I had fantasized about, the journey helped transform my character and turned me into a guy who does in fact bed a lot of women. I'm writing this post because there are a lot of misconceptions about how being muscular helps you with women, so here is the truth about how being muscular will help you get laid.
Comments
Great article! Although
Great article! Although working out will not improve your "game" or as you said fundementals, it's a great way to fuel your life with passion and testosterone. I would encourage every man to workout not just for women, but for the change in life that happens when you start working out. You'll feel more confident and assertive which would indirectly help with bedding women.
I have a question to ask since we are indrectly asian brothers (I'm Korean). I have slepted with various women and currently have a beautiful blonde girlfriend. However, I always feel like there is room for improvement. Besides having killer fundementals, do you have any additional tips for asian men, or even just in general, to bed women?
Thanks!
Diversify Your Identity
Thanks for reading man!
The big thing I would say is to diversify your identity as much as possible. Read books that have to do with a wide array of subjects and invest a couple of hobbies deeply. What this will do is make you more interesting and more grounded. This will allow you to sustain relationships with higher quality women (Meaning professional women with less drama).
After you learn the fundamentals, game is more about creating a person that you enjoy being and bringing girls into that, well atleast for me.
I would also say if you want to get hotter or better girls, up your demographics. If you want the hottest girls, start going to night clubs you wouldn't usually go to or intimidated you. If you want smarter girls, start going to the best university in your city and start gaming. If you want artsy chicks get involved in the art scene.
Keep killing it man! Thanks for posting
Women
I'm into thin girls my age that belly dance, especially Ukrainian. Where would you go to find and how would you connect with them?
Starting points/tips?
Great perspective piece. I'm sure you asked this a lot, but any tips or plans you recommend for guys looking to get big? Having a workout buddy only goes so far if neither knows what they're doing lol
Keep it simple
I would look up one beginner guide and just stick to it. Also if you are skinny, I recommend drinking a half gallon of chocolate milk a day, this is what helped me put on a lot of mass. Now you will get gasy so try to do this while you have easy access to a bathroom and can pass gas in peace. Lastly, cook your own meals and avoid going out to eat if you can. I didn't start putting on mass until I made the effort to start cooking chicken at my apartment. Also with cooking meals be sure to cook your meals in advanced, this will help you stay on your diet.
I must say William, as a guy
I must say William, as a guy with strong "yellow-fever", this article was quite hard to swallow. I just assumed that every girl barring some exceptions would find a muscular version of me more attractive than a scrawny version.
I recently put on about 15lbs of muscle over a semester and I got to interact(for 8 weeks) with a specific demographic of girls that was the same as one that I interacted with two years ago. This served as a litmus test for my progress as I had spent the last two years working on my fashion, grooming, physique, etc... I definitely noticed much more attraction but its hard to pinpoint the main cause since there were so many factors that I upgraded(and I'm sure all of them helped).
As an asian guy thats super interested in math, I hope that muscles will also have the advantage of separating me from the "asian math-nerd" archetype.
From your article, it seems that muscles have more of a social advantage than a sexual advantage?
Anyways, great writing as usual. I find your articles are very insightful.
Thanks!
Muscles and physique
Hi,
Chase once said that muscles communicate dominance. He made a rough guess that it makes about 10% or 15% (I dont know which he said now) of your attractiveness. Which would mean that for some girls, big men are too dominant and if they try to tone it down with a different style of game, they might come across as incongruent to some women. It depends on how much the perception differs.
I would say that the fundamental principle in body sexyness are proportions. I mean if you google Scooby1961, you can see he is quite wide (probably because of his gigantic chest) and comared to his body his head seems kinda small. Compare that to Brad Pitt in Troy.. and compare that with his physique in Snatch and you can see certain difference for yourself. Mostly in the first second you look at him, it appeals to you certain way. The longer you look at, the more you will focus on details like chest, shoulder, arm thickness which is less important. The first perception you get is what does the trick.
Which brings me to another point, you have to have balanced physique. There are dudes that have so big arms and so small waist that they look like a cartoon character. And this one is pretty important. I mean, look at Bieber and Calvin Klein photo (I will mention these more later). He is crouched, looks like your typical wanna-be gangsta who only talks shit and never backs it up. Most guys have developed muscles but in a very disfuctional way. Watch Eliott Hulse for more. Look at most guys, their rear deltoids do not exist. Which puts their shoulders forward and makes thoracic spine bent which results in anterior pelvic tilt at the bottom.
I stumbled upon some articles where different muscle groups were rated and the highest score was for neck and forearms. If you google Mark Wahlberg in his Calvin Klein pictures, he has nice neck proportionally compared to his head and width of his shoulders. Meanwhile Calvin Harris has a little less thick neck and is not that bulky but has more mature facial expression. Basically, thick neck makes you more manly looking, forearms, if you they are vascular, it was metioned it that article that it is like a "visual penis". Also if have small joints (wrists mainly), but developed forearm muscles, it creates that nice curve and I am sure someone could find a golden ratio for that which makes it more appealing. So, Will might be 165 lbs 5'9 8% BF but if you were 6'1 like me, you would probably need 10-15 lbs to have his proportions.
Of course the bigger the dude, the more dominant you can be on him too. I doubt some lanky dude can go and try something on Vin Diesel. In a social setting (where status plays bigger role), maybe, but on a street, hardly.
So... if you are proportional, you are attractive. The bigger you are, the more dominant you seem. And if you have a good posture (which is usually a result of balanced physique), you will be perceived more confident and people willl treat you more warmly.
Hahaha Me to
But don't get too bummed because the map isn't the road. There are some Asian girls I've seen at raves who like guys with muscular physiques but this has just been my experience on my journey.
I would definitely say that being muscular has been more so a social advantage than a sexual advantage (aptly put). Congrats on making great life changes, it's always fun to see people from your past when you make big changes in your life.
Character contrast is great because people see that you aren't a unidimensional individual. Keep killing it man and thanks for the compliment! Good luck!
My girlfriend
My girlfriend said that she don't care about muscles at all even if I would be 100kg she would love me. She cares more about other things like how you talk to her, smile and humor.
I'm skinny and I can get girls being big would be maybe advantage for me but hei, It's working for me, I'm working out too but I've got really fast metabolism and I'm quite young, so the thing is BE HAPPY - RESPECT yourself and the right girl will come and love you no matter how you look.
Glad you found a girl who loves you but
Be careful with this train of thought. I have seen many of my friends get lulled into complacency by their girlfriends, online to have it be used against them when the girl breaks up with them.
I also don't endorse the thought process of the right girl coming along. Not because I disagree with it but I find many men use it as an excuse to be average. My goal has never to be average and the right girl for you is based on the man you are.
If you are a man who is highly disciplined, valuable, and creative than the right girl for you will have complimentary characteristics. If you are an average guy who does not really have drive, you will find the right girl in the form of being similarly mediocre.
Once again I am happy for you but don't let someone else's opinion keep you from striving.
Low body fat
Hey man, is it possible to keep a low body fat while still going out to
eat, drink, ect? or should i follow a diet?
How do you do anyway? I have been reading a lot on the web but i haven't got
a specific answer.
thanks
Simple Rules
Recently I got down to 5% body fat using these simple rules.
Cook all my meals for the rest of the week on Sunday.
Cardio four days a week
Lift five days a week
Main course meals either chicken or Fish
No fried food
Have healthy snacks available, that have low fat(Greek Yogurt)
Don't buy any fast food besides Chipotle (Because Chipotle is awesome)
I cut all alcohol this year but when I did drink I did not drink beer.
No fancy coffee, just black
It will be hard and even more difficult to maintain but in the end it's worth it. Good luck bro!
Loved this article, William!
As a beginning lifter who just started down my own fitness journey at the start of this year, it is very validating that I can relate to everything you said here! I do believe it's best to try to keep things as simple as possible—increases our chance of sticking to it. There's no rule that you can't intuitively tweak what you're doing along the way based on your progress: still not lean enough? Cut down the carbs for a while. Want bigger shoulders? Add more shoulder work to your routine a few times a week. Want mass to grow faster? Eat more, but keep it on the clean side.
You're spot on that muscles alone don't get most girls, but the chemical balance that changes within us, not to mention the great feeling of seeing ourselves in the mirror each morning, definitely changes us on the inside. I for one feel completely different around women these days than when I started pick-up almost two years ago and in a very powerful way: I now have a much clearer distinction of boundaries, and men and women alike do treat me with greater respect than before.
-M
P.S. I like your blog, man—good title!
This comment makes me happy
Thank you so much for this comment!
I am glad a lot of what I have written resonates with you! I had a strange experience a few months ago, I looked in the mirror and I saw the man I imagined myself to be when I was a kid. Fitness is a journey and it never ends. I get sad when people ask me how to put on mass or lose weight fast because it's really about the process and with that mindset, they will never learn to enjoy that process.
Thanks for checking out my blog man! Keep up the good work! Great quote by the way, it reminds me of the Sith mantra from the Star Wars novels I have read.
-William
Absolutely!
I get sad, too, when people try to ask me for my "secrets" to getting lean and ripped, only to realize they have no interest in the underlying truth—that fitness (like seduction) is a journey—a commitment to a lifestyle change. It really isn't complicated either—hard at first to endure the cravings, sure, but good eating habits become natural within a week. I think most people hide behind over-complication as an excuse to settle for mediocrity. Eating like shit is actually pretty complicated, in my opinion (ha).
I knew full well that I would probably not mass up to Daniel Craig's level overnight, but I do know that with every honest rep of every hard workout, I am always getting closer. Speaking to the crowd here, savor every moment of testing your limits and discovering new hights: the surge of testosterone from pushing a muscle group to failure, or the endorphin rush from crushing a HIIT cardio workout to your last breath. The feeling is nothing short of godlike.
I'm really glad you liked my quote. I admittedly ripped off part of it from the Sith code, which, as twisted as this may sound, genuinely helps me cope with and even embrace solitude on a deep, meaningful level—not with many happy thoughts, either, but it is a path that feels genuine to who I really am. I believe it actually played a significant role in my most recent lay, the report for which will be coming soon. Happy reading!
-M
Good Article Man
Hey Will,
Great article; just wanted to comment that it was almost a little scary reading this because this is like remarkably similar to me.
I did calisthenics/pushups/pullups my first few years before getting into training, and had that desire to be big and strong for a long time beforehand, I did it intially with the desire to get better with girls too, I feel the same way about the benefits and the personal growth (and sound similar to that when talk about them to friends), and I happened to start really skinny and get to the exact same stats you're at (I'm 5'9, and 165 lbs ... though I think I'm a few lbs leaner than that at the moment).
I have ambitions with furthering my strength and perhaps competing powerlifting one day; but my goal each day in, day out is to get just a tiny bit better each day and really give it my all each time I train. Add just a little more weight with each of my workouts throughout the weeks and months.
I'm an Indian guy too you could say man (both my parents are from Bangladesh, I'm used to nodding when guys ask if I'm Indian). Funny similarities huh? But cool that I got into these things young in my life, and I'm glad to have found others who have gone a similar road as I progress on my journey.
Cheers man, keep the articles comin,
Gem
Do Powerlifting
Hey Gem,
I did my first meet last year in the 147 weight class and loved the experience. It's great to hear about your progress. It is awesome to read the comment of someone who is on a similar journey as me from a similar background. I was on a forum yesterday where there were a few threads with Indian/Indian decent guys complaining and it is great to come here and read about your journey to get better.
Keep it up man!
Muscles = exclusively lover category?
I just remembered one more point I wanted to share for your consideration: my main goal for putting on muscle is to maximize my sexual attractiveness exclusively.
In other words, since I have no intention of offering any woman a relationship (no matter how beautiful, sweet, or interesting she is), I hope that my being muscular will push me out of boyfriend zone (or at least help significantly). I want women to see me as a sexual object and nothing more.
Do you think it works that way?
-M
In My Exeperience
The most effective way for a girl not to see you as a boyfriend is just to say stuff or act in a way that implies you're seeing other women or that you have a party lifestyle. Stuff about sex things your friends have done, stating that you can't even think about getting married in the next five years, emphasize freedom.
I'm sure muscles help with the image but as long as you are representing yourself as a guy who is free, she will be afraid to move the conversation towards talking about a relationship, because she won't want to scare you off.
had a similiar journy. from,
had a similiar journy.
from, fat->lean with slight belly fat-> muscular(no packs yet)
i saw attraction level spike mostly in 2nd level, and got plateaued.
but the transformation, especialy mental and being in discipline was amazing. also i was able to acheive something many just couldnt and is on full display. that is self motivational and builds esteem.
well put article!
cheers,
aks
Diversifying your identity
Hello,
What I was going to comment was about something you said on the comments of this article. It was about diversifying your identity.
I do understand people wanting to belong and to fit in, but those of us, who feel comfortable in our skin where-ever we are, don't have that need.
So, I wanted to ask you for an article about diversifying your idenetity, personality and life. I for one do not like to be labeled. I am a gym rat, university student, traveler and a writer. But also have a great big list of hobbies. I am the kind of person that just gets excited about everything and then some. Also, I feel like life has many areas that are important: Lovelife, education, health, and all the interests. I would love to hear your ideas and thoughts about becoming a man that is recognised by his name as an interesting man, not a cliche of click.
I do realise many of your articles are on the edge of this topic, but not a single one is on it. For example the article on juggling projects. I am an avid reader who mostly love the articles off-topic of the actual point of the website. Those are the only ones that give anything to me at this point.
Yours
Robert
I like the idea!
What I have noticed about the more complex I get as a person is that I tend to see the connections between concepts a lot easier. It also allows life to speak to me. For example, knowing a few architectural concepts allows the city to really speak to you, it provides more context for your experiences and another layer to your reality.
That's what I feel is the true value of diversifying your identity, it is that you are able to interact with the world in a much deeper way. You being to see the story behind the surface. It also increases your ability to relate with people. I feel that you haven't really added a dimension to your identity until you've had a great failure in that arena and persevered through. This grounds the experience in a feeling.
I might write about the topic of not only being interesting but what it really means to be an interesting person. I've traveled all over the world but as I got older I noticed people don't really care that you travel, they care about who traveling has made you.
The same with being a person who has many interest and hobbies. It's not so much that you have these hobbies is attractive, it's who these hobbies make you that is attractive.
Thanks for reading and the suggestion Robert and keep your eyes opened the post you're looking for might show up in the next couple weeks :).
I went through a similar
I went through a similar journey several years ago, except mine started because I had chronic pain in my right lower back, running down to my feet. The exercise has really made me feel good about myself. It's been almost three years now and there are days when I have absolutely no pain! (For a while, it was touch-and-go, with occasional pain for the first two and a half years.)
Of course, a nice side-effect is that I do notice some girls eye-fucking me. Other times, I do notice heads turning, from both guys and girls, especially when I walk into a coffee house or the gym. (I'd like to think it's because I have presence.)
I guess they just don't except to see a somewhat buff, well-toned Asian man. I was talking to this one girl from my social circle that I only see once or twice a year. It had been only 6 months since I started working. As we casually chatting about what she had been up to, I noticed that she kept looking down. Of course, I didn't think that it was because I was buff or anything. I went home and held the same posture I had when I talked to her, because I couldn't figure out why she seemed distracted the entire time, looking down instead of talking to me. It turned out she was checking out my biceps the entire time (and getting wet...yes, she had a horny look on her face).
But that was only one time. It's true that muscles really do not help get girls. What it helps more is improve our own self-confidence and make us feel better about ourselves so that when we interact with people, we are much more friendly, confident, and outgoing. The relationship is indirect. After all, it takes a lot of discipline to hit the gym 3 or more times a week. That discipline over time becomes a habit that we in turn apply to other areas of our lives.
Discipline = Freedom
You know what's crazy about discipline is that it is actually freedom. If you're disciplined you're actually free to do what you want to do and not overly invested in your emotions of the moment.
It's awesome when you have experiences like that. It's validating when people acknowledge your hard work with their actions.
Thanks for watching!
How did lifting made you better?
Hey man,
I was very much curious about what you said on how lifting and putting on muscles made you a better person but I miss a part... How did it make you better?
That's what I'd love to understand.
Also, if I may ask, how old are you and what's your nickname on the boards?
Hyper-masculine Black/Latino Men
Hey William…I agree with your comment that black/latino women are turned on by hyper masculine men. As a a shy black guy (age 25) It feels like if you come across as just an average guy…black/latino women will roll their eyes at you (not all of course). I feel like this puts a lot of pressure on black and latino males to hyper-masculine. So I'm assuming being dominant and spitting game will get you to bag these chicks right. Ohhh…And I was wondering if you guys could write an article on hyper masculinity… like what it is and is it good or bad cuz mainstream media makes it sound nefarious, yet in real life…so called hyper-masculine men clean up like it's no one's business. Bit of a contradiction there huh?
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