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A
year ago, I talked about women’s back pocket mentality:
keeping a man in reserve, his appetite wetted for them,
thirst for them unquenched.
It’s part survival instinct, part choice maximization... the best position for a woman is to have a flock of interested men waiting for their shots with her, for a variety of reasons (most women greatly fear becoming unwanted or undesired).
Today I want to introduce you to back pocket mentality’s close cousin, the ‘holding pattern’. This is a more serious version of the phenomenon, where a woman strongly implies sex or a relationship is on the table and coming very soon, without delivering.
This is used when a man is on her shortlist, but she wants to experiment with others first. Just because you’re on her short list doesn’t mean you’ll get her – and all the time you devote to her while she enjoys other men and “makes up her mind”, you’re killing her attraction and respect for you.
Comments
Date Compression or First Date Sex?
Anon-
I’d do it like this: if you don’t care if you get her that much or not, or your priority is upping your game, go for first-date sex. You’ll learn more.
If you really have to have this girl, or you’ve messed up somewhere along the line and she sees you as pretty clearly boyfriend material, or in any event not lover material, you’re probably better off with date compression.
Chase
One sided
Hey Chase, can you give me tips on developing one sided monogamy? I am in love with this girl and can see myself with her in the future, thing is I still want to fuck many girls and I'm not ready to quit.
I don't want her to talk to anyone else, hence why I am asking how I can make it one sided monogamy for me. I am ready for whatever it takes because I believe guys have girls they want to keep, but they still want to improve themselves with women, and sleep with more.
Please Chase tell me how I can run this relationship.
Thanks
Making with other ways without college
I read one of your comments Chase about having other skills that you can make money off of without depending on college .
You said coding and copy right.
What other skills or jobs did you have in mind?
And with my other comment about "should I leave her?" Can you delete my comment and just post your response if possible? Thanks
Second thoughts
Hey bro,
I just realized how much your solution for dealing with back-pocket girls also applies to "How to get a girl back" - Warm and sexy
I've recently detailed a girl on the forums who went into AR, and realize a lot of similarities with this article;I got to be warm and sexy.
Phoning her (sexy bedroom voice and pauses deals sexy part) but what do we say that brings back a girl warm feelings they had with us before (whether it's back pocket girl or a lost girl)?
Do we remind the back pocket or lost girl memories they had with us? Saying that we missed those times with them and then ask them out. Or would you do it differently?
How would you do it, Chase?
Thanks bro,
Lawliet
Need advice asap! Married for 16 years!!!
High school sweetheart married for 16 years. We work perfect as parents, but our intimacy declined just a few years after marriage. We pushed through and also didn't take each others marriage concerns seriously. Fast forward to now, we both truly love each other, we're faithful, we have 2 daughter, own a home, live together, 3 months ago after our last breakout fight I got the words "love you but not in love with you" we talk and see each other everyday. She wants the marriage to work but isn't putting much effort into it and intimacy is lost. Kisses are very hard for her to accept, she says she lost physical attraction, but tells me I'm a good looking man. I am in the holding zone, I wouldn't say I am begging, but more less explaining how I took our marriage for granted, was focused on kids and didn't keep her wanting me. We both want it to work, I love this woman, but she can't feel anything for me at this point. Divorce was mentioned a few times, I have used some of your advice and also from elsewhere to maintain a not needy personality and to be a powerful man, but not too much has changed other than maybe her decision to stay together has increased, still no sex or making out. I feel if she decides to work it out with me she won't change herself to give me what I need and I'm afraid if that. I almost have to break her heart like she broke mine so she will truly value what she is losing. I've been making some big changes with my words and actions and she definitely notices it. Can't be holding anymore, almost to the point of letting go. Marriage with kids, house makes it even harder to move out. I thought about a. apartment "for a few months" to test the waters before the struggle of divorce occurrs. We are both in agreeable of 50/50 if DV Happens, but neither of us are pushing it right now.
Do you have any promising , best solutions for my situation to get outta the holding phase, "yes she is still jealous if I talk to girls", I'm ok breaking her heart but in a way she doesn't just decide to leave, but I don't think she will and I definitely want her to start investing in our marriage like she has never before. I feel my options are break her heart and take a risk, or remain in holding phase and working on myself to make her crave me again. Like i mentioned, Im almost certain she won't divorce unless I continue fighting or don't change, but I want her to desire me again soaking wet every night
She's a lower sex drive, has anxiety and maybe a little depressed, but still enjoys sex. Please help.
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