You know, I've been called a lot of things. I've been called an extremely warm person; I've been called a cold man. And at times, I've been called a romantic.
To me, romanticism is an ideal, of sorts. It's a refusal to accept the baseness and ugliness of the "real" world, as most consider it. And, it's the creation, in your own self and in the life you lead, as well as in the life you help those around you to lead, of another world -- a world where things are filled with meaning, where people truly matter, and where we all are the authors of our own spectacular, riveting stories.
As a romantic man, you become able to touch others' lives and bring hope to those who lack it. You inspire; you motivate; and you energize. You take those for whom the world had been empty and cold, and make it feel as though it's buzzing with electricity and potential. And best of all, you take the fantasies that women read about so avidly in their romance novels, and you can bring them to life.
Striving to become romantic is, to me, something very much worth striving for -- romanticism gives you an ability to affect others' lives that is in some ways without equal.
Comments
Very interesting point. In
Very interesting point.
In fact, the best guy with women I know breaks every community rule and has great success in spite of it. He is radiates positive energy and is loving, yes.
I actually think there are more subtle levels which lead to success than "just be a tough-guy alpha-male".
Re: Very interesting point. In
Hey M, I know what you mean, man. I've been meaning to get up a post addressing the "Be Alpha, It's All You Need!" jazz that's still circulating around as a remnant of 2005 Mystery-Style era pick up community advice. Being dominant, confident, and leading decisively is absolutely, positively critical to success, yes, but that doesn't mean to be a big loud asshole about it, and that's what a lot of the "Be Alpha!" guys seem to think it means.
Most of them sacrifice social compunction to try and be the loudest, most impressive silverback in the room. I've seen a lot of these guys operate, and I've seen what their results tend to be like, and I'm not terribly impressed.
Anyway, that's another post-to-be I've got in the works. It's kind of a fun topic, anyway!
Cheers,
Chase
Soul-healing post.
Soul-healing post.
Cynicism really is a mind-poison. I was suffering from that big time. Romance is the cure. Since I read this post I've bedded a new girl and mended things with an old flame.
Re: Soul-healing post.
Migz, very, very cool to hear. I know cynicism was hitting your for a while there -- extremely neat that this post helped you pull a bit of a 180 there. I'm sure both your new girl and your old one are thrilled to see that other side of you too..!
Way cool, man.
Chase
RE:How to become a romantic
Most importantly, remember that being a romantic man is about the emotions you cause women to feel. Most guys never spend much time learning how to spark emotions in other people and make them really feel; I tend to believe this is one of the most crucial interpersonal skills you can develop in yourself.
The man who can make a woman feel can make her fall in love. If your aim is success with women, becoming that sort of man is one of the fastest roads there.
****
Most guys never spend much time learning how to spark emotions in other people because most guys have other things to do with their lives. I can sum your whole article up in 3 words. Just be yourself. Thats it. If a woman doesn't like you because your not romantic enough, she has very low intelligence and can't see the bigger picture. These are the same type of women that will require you to be romantic, then when you've done that they want something else, then something else.
The moral of the tale is simple. Be yourself. If they don't like you too bad for them.
Re: "Just Be Yourself"
Hey Jiminy,
Must take issue with your comment here... as follows:
Such as? The men who've developed the ability to spark emotions in others tend to be the most powerful, successful businessmen, spiritual leaders, politicians, and celebrities out there, as well as the most successful and charismatic ordinary folks you'll find. And while I don't doubt the less successful people out there have "other things to do with their lives," I do doubt that those things are much better than investing in developing themselves.
Actually, this article was about how to create within yourself something that wasn't there before (romance)... rather than continuing on exactly as you are right now.
This uses the same logic as saying, "Well, if those corporate fat cats won't give you a job, they clearly aren't smart enough to realize what an incredible employee you'd be and they just don't get it."
It's your responsibility, as a man, to get the message across and convey what you have to offer. Women are the choosers, just like employers. There are ways of turning the tables about and getting them pursuing you, but you need to understand and accept that you're being selected from among a pool of applicants first.
One can reject that all he likes, but it doesn't change the way the world works. You can say, "If movie stars don't want to date me, they're just stupid!" but that doesn't necessarily make it so.
Wait, who said anything about women "requiring" you to be romantic?
This post isn't about the girl who says, "Why can't you be more romantic, Fred?" It's about men creating an air of the romantic about themselves.
For the woman making demands, there are a number of posts addressing that on this site.
But the moral of this site is, "Transform yourself into more than you were before."
If a woman decides not to go to school beyond high school, and not to get a job and instead live with her parents, and not dress well and always dresses in frumpy clothes, and doesn't do her hair up, and spends all day watching soap operas and reading celebrity gossip rags, then complains that the only men she attracts are deadbeats and that all the rest of men out there are just too stupid to date her --
-- would you agree? Should investment bankers and rock stars and Senators chase after this girl? Are these men fools for turning down a catch-of-a-lifetime like this?
If you think not, then you like your women to have worked on themselves, which means you're on Team Self Improvement and you didn't even realize it. Welcome aboard -- hope you find some things of use on the site.
Chase
great post chase, i think a
great post chase, i think a lot of guys should read this post. you find a lot of guys hating women cause of the past. I am one thats for sure, cause i am not longer a romantic kind of guy. i learned from life and what friends tell me never to love women it will just cause problem in life.
that is a big box around me and a lot of people you show in this post.
To love a woman, you must
To love a woman, you must first love all women.
Feels wonderful to read this
Feels wonderful to read this and it helps me to understand myself and that my previous cynisism and negative thoughts is the reason i've screwed up so many relations.
A dilemma.
Hey Chase,
How would you marry a very edge drive(in the workplace or pursuing goals in life) with a somewhat "softer" romantic personality? I'm having a hard time with that because they seem be be distinct ends of a dichotomy - swinging like a yoyo doesn't seem to be a sustainable approach.
- Brian
Romantic and challenging man
Hey, very interesting topic, but I get confused because showing girl interest you as a man losing chase frame and you are less challenging. Can you just elaborate those issue more deeply to understand it better and where is the border.
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