How to Date Multiple Women (with Zero Drama)
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Somehow he always seems to end up in bed with ALL the beautiful women he meets… no matter if they’re his side kicks or if they work for the bad guys.
I remember a time when I didn’t know how to date multiple women and didn’t think this kind of life would ever be possible for ME… but I still enjoyed living vicariously through Connery, Brosnan and Moore.
If you’re a red-blooded male, you can probably relate – there are certainly worse situations to find yourself in than hooking up with a wide variety of gorgeous women!
Maybe this is the reason why you’re reading this blog, and it’s your dream to live this kind of lifestyle… or maybe you just want to sow your wild oats for a while before settling down with the right girl.
Either way, I’m here to tell you that it is more than Hollywood fiction and very possible.
That doesn’t mean it’s as easy as it looks on the big screen though, there are a couple of hurdles you need to take – and this article will walk you through them.
Multiple Women Level 1: One Girl
When you’re just starting out, and especially if your skills with women aren’t as advanced as you’d like them to be just yet, you will most likely find yourself in the position where you’re dating only one girl at first.
That’s okay - everybody started out that way.
Even James Bond.
Since you now have only one girl, it is probably very tempting to meet her pretty often.
Be warned – if it is your intention to date multiple girls, don’t do this. She will take over your schedule and start to be territorial about you – she might even ask you where you’ve been, who you’ve been with and what you’ve been doing.
After a few months of this, she might even push for an exclusive relationship. She might give you the ultimatum and threaten to never see you again unless you commit to her – if you like her, it might be hard not to give in at this point.
And if it REALLY is your goal to build a life abundant with beautiful women, you can’t let that happen – you need to keep your eyes on the prize.
If you’ve read my previous post on how to do things so you don’t hurt a girl, you know that it’s not a good idea to lead women on. You need to be honest with her, and subtly but firmly communicate that you’re not looking for anything too serious at the moment.
If you create false expectations for a happy-ever-after future with a girl you really only want to have a casual relationship with, she’s got every right to be pissed at you later. In fact, I HOPE she slashes your tires if you do this.
There’s a better way. Be honest, be casual, and keep things light – don’t meet too often and don’t behave like a boyfriend would… and she will get the message.
Since you’re going out a lot to meet girls, it also shouldn’t be too difficult to keep your schedule pretty busy when she’s not around.
Multiple Women Level 2: Two to Three Girls
Alright, we’re picking up momentum!
When I was a teenager, I met a guy in a hostel in France who explained to me:
“When you have no girlfriend, it’s almost impossible to find one. But once you have one, it’s a lot easier to find another one… or another two. And once you’re dating three or four girls, you can easily have twenty.”
How right he was!
But how is this possible?
The reason is simply that your behavior changes completely when you feel like you have total abundance when it comes to women.
- You automatically act very secure in yourself, which makes you a LOT more attractive.
- You’re always surrounded by women, which gets a lot of further female attention.
- You’re usually busy because you’re on a lot of dates… and being unavailable makes women VERY curious.
So you will probably find that it’s a lot easier to add a second girl to your life than it was to find that first one… and from here on out, it only keeps getting easier.
When you’re dating two or three girls, you should probably meet them a bit less often than once every week – simply to keep things from getting too serious.
This will also give you more time to meet other women… in fact, if you want to have a date more than once a week, you will HAVE to go out with several girls at this point.
But if you’re reading this article, then that’s probably your goal anyway. This will also give you more time to meet other women.
Here’s a word of advice though.
Yes, most women are PERFECTLY fine with men who like to live this kind of life style, so long as they’re not being lied to.
What’s more, many women ALSO go through a phase in their lives when they don’t even want to HEAR about a serious relationship!
Women, too, like to play the field sometimes… and whether you want to hear it or not, it’s not unlikely that she’s dating more than one man at the same time as well.
And why shouldn’t she?
So don’t set a double standard here… if you expect girls to accept an open relationship, then the relationship is going to be OPEN.
Live with it… it’s worth it.
That doesn’t mean that you need to rub these things into each others’ faces, or that you need to hook up with other people in front of each other.
But if you want to have the freedom to date other people, don’t expect her to make you the sole center of her life that her universe revolves around.
This is in your best interest as well, by the way, because if she’s dating ONLY you, it’s not unlikely that she will eventually demand MORE… she’ll likely grow attached, or heaven forbid, get clingy, jealous and possessive.
You don’t want to get the ultimatum… you don’t want her to demand you break up with all the other women you’re seeing.
So live and let live… besides, it’s only fair.
Multiple Women Level 3: Four to Five Girls
Once you’re dating four girls, you probably start feeling like you actually have some REAL variety.
You might be dating a tall blonde, a curvy brunette, a pretty redhead and a petite Asian girl… and you’re probably the envy of all your friends by now.
Every time we reach a new level in life, old problems go away… and new problems show up.
When you first start making more money for example, you finally don’t have to worry about the bills anymore… but now you might suddenly find yourself without any free time to actually spend all that money!
It’s the same with women.
When you’re dating four girls or more, you’re never alone and your dating life is starting to go GREAT… but you will probably find that your schedule fills up pretty fast!
When I first started reaching this point a few years ago, it took me quite a while to figure this out. Sure, I was able to date four girls at the same time, but they took up ALL my free time. For a while, I even decided to limit myself to dating two or three girls at a time.
And I wasn’t the only one struggling with this… some of my friends dating multiple women were also starting to build “harems” for themselves… and they, too, seemed to get stuck at some point.
Sure, they would have been able to meet more beautiful girls to go out with… but if they did, they’d have to either neglect work, their friends, or some of the girls they were already seeing.
It was often difficult for them to find time to do anything other than meet their girlfriends. If you schedule dates with four to seven girls, your weekly calendar is probably going to be jammed up and it might almost feel more like a burden than a luxury.
Life is TOUGH for a Sex god… :)
What’s a man to do?
A couple of years ago the answer finally came to me. The simple solution is to stop letting yourself be boxed in by schedules!
And why would you, if you have all this abundance?
Dating should be fun, and not a chore… so take a more spontaneous approach and ENJOY!
Instead of scheduling one girl for Monday, another girl for Tuesday, a work meeting on Wednesday, the third girl on Thursday, drinks with your friends on Friday and so forth… (You get the idea)
…simply ENJOY the freedom this abundance can give you and start being COMPLETELY flexible and spontaneous with it.
Have you seen the movie Deception with Hugh Jackman?
The protagonist of this film gets caught up in a “sex club” – a club where members call each other up out of the blue, and ask: “Are you free tonight?”
If the other person is free, they meet up and have sex.
Sounds like another Hollywood fantasy? Too good to ever be true? Like something that could never work in real life?
Oh yes, it could!
Just you try.
How To Set It Up:
Since your schedule is really full at this point, you need to let your girls know.
Tell them the truth: that you’re really busy these days, and that it’s become very hard to find time to schedule anything… and let them know that spontaneous works best for you right now.
This also inoculates against the contingency that a girl you’re trying to meet up with spontaneously suggests another day instead and tries to nail you down on a schedule.
Once that frame is set, you can start doing what Jackman does – on any given night, call the girl you would most like to see that day, and ask her: “Are you free tonight?”
If she’s free – great. You just got yourself a date that you didn’t have to schedule!
If she’s not, just call one of your other dates.
Multiple Women Level 4: Six to Twenty Girls
You are probably starting to see that it doesn’t matter if the first two or three girls you call aren’t free when you call. Chances are ONE of them will be.
In fact, the MORE girls you’re currently dating, the more likely it is that one of them WILL be free at the exact time when you spontaneously decide that it would be nice to go on a date tonight…
…and without your ever having to schedule anything in advance!
Yes… it is indeed possible to date multiple women to the tune of four girls, twelve girls, or even twenty girls.
What’s more… the more girls you’re seeing, the EASIER it is to juggle the schedule.
How counterintuitive is that?
Time management becomes a total BREEZE this way. Meeting your girls stops being an obligation, and turns into the spontaneous fun activity it is really meant to be.
I want to make it very clear that I don’t endorse emotionally abusing women. When you’re out with girls, make sure you’re both on the same page and have the same values. Again, don’t hurt a girl - it's not worth it.
Don’t lead women on, but be subtly upfront about setting the right relationship expectations – you will be surprised how many women are perfectly fine with a casual relationship of this kind, so long as you don’t lie to them or rub it in her face.
Also don’t behave like a boyfriend on these kinds of dates, if you don’t want to make these girls fall in love with you and watch them cry bitter tears over you later. That’s just not cool… play fair, cowboy.
This is a powerful relationship tool… If I find somebody abusing it to get women attached that they don’t have any serious intentions with, I will personally HUNT them down and encourage the girls to flog them viciously!
(Of course that wasn’t directed at YOU… I know that you would never do such a thing, because you realize that one can have an abundant dating life without sacrificing one’s integrity).
But if you play it clean, if you’re honest and casual, you really can have the dating life of James Bond.
Heck, if you set this up the way I’ve described it here, you will put James Bond to shame.
THE WORLD IS YOURS!
Onward and upward,
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