Carnival of Dating Advice, 23rd Edition


carnival of dating advice

Welcome, friends, to the 23rd Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you some of the best latest articles in dating, relationships, psychology, and more from around the web.

Today you'll find articles served up on topics as varied as dealing with your own emotions - whether about success or a cheating partner; on figuring out how to get more results when it feels like you're doing everything you possibly can (and still not seeing any); and articles on busyness, uninhibited sex, and being a gentleman.

Without further ado...


Dating

John of Fearless Men submits "The Rules to Always Being a Gentleman, Part I," with a number of solid tips that revolve around on primary theme: find ways to take social pressure off the other party.


Psychology

From The Confident Man Project, Graham Stoney gives us "Celebrate Your Successes by Sharing Them with Others," focused on learning how to let go of negative emotions holding you back (such as shame or depression) and reinforcing positive ones to propel you forward by verbalizing those emotions and getting them out. Graham says: "Celebrating your successes helps reinforce the positive mindset that you need to feel inner confidence. Share them with others and you become a powerful leader."

Jana Moreno of Wisdom Ink shares "Are You Tired of Doing Everything Right and Not Seeing Results?" The message here is one I can wholeheartedly endorse: that you won't succeed at anything long term trying to willpower yourself through... instead, you must find ways to make the thing itself be the reward.


Sex

Nathalie of The Relationship Destroyers tells you to "Release Your Sexual Inhibitions!" Sex is one of the biggest contributors to relationship satisfaction - or dissatisfaction - and Nathalie wants you to loosen up and let it out.


Relationships

Amritorupa Kanjilal from The Bea's Knees sends in "How to Deal with a Cheating Partner." Your first instinct on reading may be to assume that the article's going to tell you to work it out - it isn't. All it's telling you is to take time to understand your own emotions, and your partner's emotions, and resolve things amicably. Just because something bad has occurred doesn't mean you need to launch a holy war. You can try and work them out - or, you can leave calmly, wishing your ex well as you do.

Love in India's Sulagna Dasgupta writes "Too Busy to Live? Romance for the Time-strapped," with six (6) tips for not forgetting about your partner in a hectic, non-stop world. Sulagna says, "A great relationship takes time and efforts. This article talks about six essential tips for madly busy people like you to keep romance alive in your relationship."


Wrapping Up

... and that wraps us up for the twenty-third edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. If you're reading this and want to submit for next time, check out the guidelines here.

Hope you found these articles fun and useful. Tune in next time for more great posts from around the Internet.

Yours,
Chase Amante

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Comments

Ben 's picture

Paitent Women


Hey, Chase theres this girl who likes me at school, but she never talks to me but she always stares at me. Whenever we do talk at first she seemed kinda nervous and aloof. Then after that after ive shown strong non verbal signals and she now she knows that im intrested in her when we talked again she seemed very intrested and laughed at alot of the things ive said and we had a great conversation. But then she avoids me and i dont understand why... and its obvious the she wants to avoid me but.. ive seen her secretly look at me and follow me sometimes.. but she doesn't want me to see her. Chase what the hell is she trying to do? We both like each other but shes not cooperating.

Chase Amante's picture

Shyness

Author

Ben-

Sounds like she's quite shy.

I'd suggest asking her out, and expect her to say "no." Shrug it off, be cool, and keep talking to her and flirting with her. Then, a little bit later (no more than a month or two), ask her out again. Just keep talking to her and flirting with her and building up rapport and asking her out every so often until she says "yes." If she's legitimately shy and it isn't just an act, she probably needs a little time to warm up to the idea of going out with someone.

Chase

Saitam's picture

Girl abroad coming back next fall


Hey Chase, Im in college and I met a great girl last fall. This was before I had any real game going on. We had a genuine romantic connection going on for two weeks before winter break came by and she had to leave for a semester abroad. She'll be back this fall.

I took the opportunity during the spring to step up my game: lost my virginity and slept with seven different girls (freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors).

However, I didn't find that same romantic compatibility again. I made sure to avoid the scarcity mindset and the infatuation that comes with it. That was great and all but I would love to reconvene with abroad girl when she's back.

I guess my question is should I wait till we're both back on campus to approach her again or is it fine if I message her over Facebook and what not. She keeps liking my pictures and I like hers but that's about the only communication we have because I don't want to interact with her when there's no chance of physical capitalization.

What are your thoughts?
Should I forget her till we're both on campus or make sure to keep in touch with a few how are you messages once in a while?
Also, should I even mention all the experiences I accrued over the spring with other girls or should I just show my growth through action?
Thank you for your time
You're a great man who's helped me improve my life so much.

Chase Amante's picture

Girl Returning

Author

Saitam-

I'd keep the interaction with her to nil until just before you're due to see her again. Then, maybe a week or two beforehand, you can send her a message and see how she's doing... and after that, propose you meet up once school reconvenes.

If you start messaging her too early, she'll get excited too soon, have it peak, and then decline, and by the time you make it back to school you're catching the tail end or worse of her interest in seeing you - you missed the window. Don't start opening the window until you're able to go through it.

I'd decline mentioning your own experiences. It's better just that your connection is between you and her, and not you talking about the fun college girls you've been with the past semester and her talking about the saucy exotic men she's been with while overseas. Make it you and her, and forget the rest of the world - you get your best shot of getting somewhere with her this way.

Chase

Saitam's picture

Thank you so much


Thank you so much

B.L.T's picture

How do I get girls to stop looking at their phone?


Hi. Chase.

Sometimes, sadly, many girls show so much interest in Instagram or their text messages or games on their phone, NOT ME. I want to talk to them, but I feel like I'm intruding because they're in love with their phone. Is there a way divert their attention to ME without making it feel awkward or forced?

How do I get girls to stop looking at their phone?

I would (and many guys, I think) appreciate it if you could give some insight into the subject. Thank you :)

Chase Amante's picture

Phones

Author

BLT-

I have an article about phone calls here: Phone Calls on Dates. But I agree - texting and staring at pictures, etc., is a very different animal.

One that I like using with girls that won't quit staring at their phones is pointing at it and saying, "You seem like you're really busy right now - should we just do this another time?" in a very non-accusatory voice. The message is that you're not interested in hanging around if she's going to be staring at her phone. If she can't take the hint, you should actually leave, too (most women who are interested in you will control their urge to stare at their phones).

Another one you can do is this: if she keeps staring at her phone, tell her, "Can I see that?" and gesture toward her phone. When she hands it to you, ask her, "How do you put this on silent?" Let her show you (or do it yourself if you know how with her phone), then put it on silent. Then tell her to open her purse, and put it in. Close her purse. Then move right on with the conversation as if nothing happened: "So you were telling me about what you loved about Spain?"

Chase

jasreian's picture

Am I chasing?


Hey Chase,

Loving the website, I've learned so much in the five months that I've been following, and it has improved my life tremendously.

Back in November, I was approached by a cute girl while I was working. Unfortunately, it was back before I understood how pickup, flirting, or any non-platonic interaction really worked, so I didn't realize she was into me at first. In fact, once I finally did, I did something (that I didn't realize at the time was very) stupid, and told her how I felt about her. Needless to say, she asked that we just be friends. I cut her off for about two months, after which she asked me to lunch and seemed very eager to hang out with me. I missed a couple more escalation windows and nothing happened. This is when I'd just started studying attraction and didn't realize what I was messing up.

Fast forward to current day, where I've been studying attraction and seduction extensively for the past five months and working on my fundamentals (posture, voice, conversation, just starting to work on chase framing and adding a sexual component to conversation). I've been with a couple other girls and gotten very close to making things happen with a few others (good learning experiences). The one I met in November is still around and has given me a couple signs of attraction (complimenting my muscles, inviting me places, but these were also missed escalation windows). I feel like I could make something happen with this girl if I had another opportunity, especially after reviewing all the other times that I could've made something happen. However, I'm also well aware of attraction's expiration date.

My question is this: If I think she's showing signs of attraction, and giving more escalation windows, should I try to make something happen (ask her out, hang out with her more, try taking her home), or does it sound like she's just trying to keep me around as an orbiter? If there's anything I've learned from this website, it's not to chase, so I'd like to make sure that I'm not.

Thank you :)

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