Asian Guys and White Girls: The Secret to Success


asian guys and white girlsEvery now and then I get asked about Asian guys and white girls. I understand why some guys ask this; there is a very human tendency we all have to say, "Well, that may work for you, but it's only because you're white / black / Asian / tall / muscular / super smart / naturally talented / some other thing outside of one's power to change." And no matter how much you tell people that that's just an excuse, many of them cling staunchly to this. Chase is a white guy; what does he know about being Asian?

In fact, I've had a number of Asian male friends who were very talented with white women. One of them was a Korean-American guy from Middle America who'd been a nightclub promoter and body builder and even when he was unemployed and not sure what he wanted to do with his life slept with tons of beautiful white girls more easily than most white guys can. Another was a short Chinese-born guy who seemed to literally will white women into bed by sheer persistence and charm.

But I still get questions from Asian guys about Asian guys and white girls, so I asked another Asian friend of mine named Jerome - yet another Chinese-born guy who does very well for himself with European and American white girls back in the US and elsewhere - to write a guest post on the topic.

At first Jerome was a little confounded when I asked him. "What do you want me to write about, exactly?" he asked confusedly.

"Just your experience with getting girls as an Asian guy... particularly white girls," I said.

"How's that any different from getting girls as a white guy?" he asked me.

"It's not," I replied, "but I've got readers who think it really is. You'd be helping a lot of guys out if you could just give your perspective."

"All right," he responded, "but I'm telling you, it's exactly the same for an Asian guy as it is for a white guy."

Without further ado, here's his post.

 

The Asian American Experience: Young, Asian, and American

asian guys and white girlsGrowing up in America and trying to find love can be difficult. Especially coming from a different culture that values hard work, sacrifice and family. This does not translate into social success. The Asian values that I was raised with were considered beta by most American girls.

As a young man, I used to chase girls, but that never works. I soon realize I had a unique advantage. The willingness to be persistent and to be positive.

The second quality I had was, I never bought into the idea of Asian stereotypes.  Like Jeremy Lin, I just live my life.

I was not aware of Asian negative stereotypes until this year. I guess I subconsciously refuse to believe in negative ideas. Never read about them or talked about them. I just remain positive and live life. I do notice guys who buy into this. They usually suck with girls. I had a lot of friends in California who always talked about their limiting beliefs. You know what happens to them.

I always believed in love and that love does not see color. I also did not see white girls as superior to Asian girls. I love Asian girls as much or more than any race. I do not have a preference for white girls. I find beauty in all women.

The first time I noticed these negative beliefs was when I was in NYC.

The summer in NYC is beautiful. It’s the mecca of day game. I was trying to move there to build a career in finance. I was there to interview for a finance job. I was in union square doing day game - I love day game - when I was introduced to a young good-looking Chinese guy named Edward.

Edward originally went to college in China, and had just graduated with an M.S. in Finance in America and had been recently promoted to V.P. of a major investment bank. In addition to being good looking and fashionable, he was 6 feet tall. Basically, he had no excuse or reason to fail.

Edward had a great apartment in SoHo, was young, had a career he loved, good friends, and he was good-looking.

So what excuse or reason he had to fail? Well, he found one. Being Asian!

He went 3 years without a date, in NYC! Wow!

Edward spent three years blaming his success with women on being Asian. There is no evidence that shows this is true. But he believes in it.

A friend once told me. If you look for fault, you will find it. Edward found his.

The first thing that came out of his mouth, when I was introduced to him: “Asian guys can’t get white girls.” WTF. Where did all this negative programming come from?  Do not indulge, entertain or explore this idea or belief.

Wow I was speechless.

What in the world is going on? I was just glad I did not know him back in the days when I started out.

I guess I was lucky, when I was in high school; the guys I saw who were successful with girls were Asian guys. I noticed the hottest American girl in my high school was dating an Asian guy (she was white if that matters to you; it shouldn’t). I remember that Asian dude, and all I can say was, he was bad ass. He dressed super fashionable and he was confident. He was fearless and did not give a shit what anyone thought of him. I guess this subconsciously taught me that Asian guy are attractive. A value I still believe and hold true.

Back to Edward’s story. What I saw in Edward was a good looking guy who was confident. Edward didn’t see that; all he could see were his limiting beliefs. I felt really bad for the guy. I decided to teach Edward in the three days I was there.

The best quality about Edward was that he wanted to learn this.

He met me in Union square for three days and three nights. Well... it’s not like he had dates lined up. Anyways.

Edward was a trooper. He would approach any girl at any place. I gave him some of the same advice Chase gives to all his students.

After I left NYC, two weeks later Mr. Edward found his first American girlfriend. She was your typical American girl. An NYU girl, she was a member of a sorority, young, tall and beautiful. I was not surprised at Edwards’s quick success. Edward had good game; he just didn’t believe in himself and needed to stop all that negative beliefs of Asian stereotypes.

My advice to young guys starting out, regardless if you’re Asian or not. Stop talking about Asian stereotypes and start living your life. Talking about it is just pure mental masturbation. No action, all talk.

Edward is living his life now. He’s been dating that American girl for more than two years.

With love,
Jerome

 

A Final Note on Asian Guys and White Girls

asian guys and white girlsChase here.

You know one thing I've noticed about supposedly "disadvantaged" guys is... the instant women smell confidence on you, all thoughts of disadvantage go away.

I've watched women who staunchly told me they'd never date a guy shorter than them end up with men they had half a foot on... because the guy was confident.

I've listen to women tell me they'd never date a guy of a certain race, only for them to fall for a guy of precisely that race.

I eventually came to the realization that nothing is absolute, including what people think they want. It all goes out the window the instant they meet someone who has the qualities that they actually find attractive.

And what women actually find attractive is not the shade of your skin or the size of your eyes or the texture of your hair... it's how confident, dominant, and attractive you ARE that matters to them most.

If you get your attractiveness handled, and get yourself to the point where the other men around you stop feeling like competition - because you've worked to improve yourself and they haven't, like most men (heck, most people in general) don't - you'll have all the choice with women you could possibly want.

Even with white girls.

Yours,
Chase

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Comments

Robin's picture

Girl Here


There is nothing and I mean nothing less attractive than a sheepish, slouching, shuffling man, I don't care how 'hot' he looks at first glance.

In the first five seconds you meet someone (girls especially) you had better damn well exude confidence otherwise girls will wrinkle their noses at you and bin you in the friend category right away.

Asian, Black, White, short, tall. It doesn't matter, if you look insecure girls will see it. Instant turn off.

~Robin

Jerome's picture

Robin is Right


Robing is totally right, do you hear that guys, looks doesn't matter that much. It only matters if you look like a nerd or a dork. It doesn't matter when you are confident and dress well.

Meaning race and looks can only help you get initial attraction. But to create true attraction and build upon it, requires confident and understanding of female psychology.

For example, Eunice, a very pretty Asian girl, who is my friend approached this attractive white guy.

She ask for his number, they eventually met up. After the date she told me he was boring (loser). I ask why?

Remember guys he was good looking, tall and white. But like most girls Eunice liked confidence and a guy who was fun. He wasn't that.

The biggest turn off for a women is being boring (not taking action) and not confident (sexual).

The End

Jerome

Lance's picture

Lots of information here


Hi Chase and Jerome.

First of all, thanks for keeping your words to get Jerome to post this.

And also a big appreciation to Jerome for sharing this invaluable experience.

This response is a little bit long. The reason is that I want to distinguish the group of people like myself from the ABC or Jerome. Also, I wanna explain what cause the Asian stereotype in my opinion, with some of my backgrounds as well, in order to properly adjust my issues. I hope I still have your attentions. :-)

The reason I was looking for suggestions is exactly like what Jerome has said: hanging around(not exactly, but been influenced a little bit) with a whole bunch desperate men who have been blaming themselves the whole time without making any efforts to make changes, OR just thinking about WHY.

I'm new to this, so I have no idea what will happen to me and what to expect what so ever.

Therefore, I went to ask my White friends, and they just told me to buy a truck or do something to show off. Well, this is not something I would like to do first because I personally believe this only attracts gold diggers; more technically, the articles in this site have explained why this doesn't work for many times.

And then I turned to my Asians friends.

These "friends"'s comments are still making me laugh to death till today:
1. it's impossible, give it up and don't wast your time. they won’t like you.
2. they are only into guys with big "..nis"
3. they are whores, they only look for $$$...
...

I would say this is BS. By just looking at what kind of success those two groups of men have had, it is clear to see that those men are not good with women.

I'm kind of guy who doesn't admit to fate or believe in something I have been told before giving it a try, so I just wanna challenge myself to get out of that "stereotype circle" by dating some white girls, doesn’t mean that I have a special preference on them.

Regarding what I have been told, I'm somehow affected a little bit. So Thanks to this site and everyone's sharing of their personal experience, I have known a lot about how to work this out. Especially for Jerome's personal experience and suggestions.

but hey, Jerome. I assume that you have been living here for a long time since you said you were in high school here, so you have already known how to interact with people here.
However, for men like us (me as an example didn't know any English 2 years ago) do have language problem. Although it is minor factor, it is still discouraging your confidence when you don’t even knows how to talk to people, not to mention girls specifically.

A friend of mine (been here for less than a month) told me he once approached a group of girls and said something they did not understand, and then they just laughed like he was an alien from Mars. That feels seriously bad. A lot of guys just cannot suck it up, and start to blame themselves.

==============================================================================
So, ***Jerome, what is your advice for us when we talk to girls with this disadvantage?***
And for ***Chase, in China, what do you do when you talk to a pretty Chinese girl who has no attempt to talk to you in English? Which means, you will have to speak Chinese in that case***
==============================================================================

The cultural difference is also significant between these two worlds. I can feel this when I track back my time when I was still in my country.

While the teenagers here are partying at high school, we are busy with getting a good grade at school. Dating is VERY VERY discouraged by the school and parents. Especially my school, the best one in my city, you would laugh when you hear about the rules: you are not allowed to gel your hair, wear expensive shoes, carry cell phones… the biggest punishments you would get apart from as a result of:

1. Smoking, drinking or doing drugs 2. Fighting or insulting teachers 3. Cheating in exames

***And Number Four: in a relationship, including if you were seen holding a girl’s hand. ***

They always say, you must wait. But until when?

Therefore, guys like us come to North America, with good grade at school, but a complete blank in our minds about socialization. All we learn back home to have a dream girl in our life is to show off like what our parents told us to: getting a good job and making tons of $, then girls are like rain falling from the sky…
( seems to me that good schooling and good jobs are like a black hole, sucking girls into your arms. But the fact is, given the Law of Gravity Force, you have to get into a certain distance(approaching girls) before two objects come together, no matter how heavy you are, otherwise, we are all in any of the black holes right now. So that theory from my parents just simply does not work and I finally know it today)

This is what makes me understand why I was so unsuccessful when I broke the rules by attempting to keep a relationship (I’m good at how to open my fellow girls though). After spending some time in this site, I think I belonged to the "creepy guy" in Chase's definition. I used to try my best to show off in my class with good grade, as I thought it would attract girls. It turned out that the girls I got were those who wanted to take advantages out of me. When I had a bad semester, they left… I couldn’t understand it back then. Now thanks Chase, you made me understand what this is all about. :-)

With all the background information, I hope you understand why I ask advices for the difficulties I encountered. I did force myself to approach women. Last month, I talked to over 100 women on my busy schedule, only 3 phone numbers,0 date, holy small number (I’m not saying I’m gonna give up). I know there must be something wrong with it, so I start writing journals to adjust the issues. For most of them, I can find the solutions from the previous posts, so I’m not gonna waste your time here. But for the other ones, I can’t figure them out:

1. Running out of topics VERY FAST:
---as I mentioned, kind of guys like me are lack of social skills, and we don’t wanna be like that. I’m probably the one who tries the hardest among my friends, but still, I could not think of anything to improve. So if possible, could you think of a list of effective topics that get me RESULTS (I don’t want reactions ,lol). What I mean here is the specific topics that they like to talk about, like you mentioned photography a lot in your other posts( what about nails, hairstyles, MALE movies stars.. they talk about them a lot with their girlfriends, should I use them, too?)

2. Handling Rejections:
-----Don’t worry, I read your posts about rejection already. But the thing is, do you just say “maybe next time” and then walk away with a big grin in front of so many people? It feels like those guys fail to propose their GF in public. I don’t mean that I don’t have the guts to take rejection, but that is just so embarrassing. So what is the best way to handle it, in details…

3. Not fashionable:
-----this is what I seriously don’t have. I’ve been wearing uniforms through my whole life before I came here. And you know what I said about the school’s rules, just kill off all my connections with the current. I simply don’t know what to do.

4. -----For Jerome, I would like to hear more stories about your friend who worked in NY as a VP. His situation is somehow a little close to me as he graduated from China before coming here. Perhaps he knew a little bit more about handling the language problem…

Thank you for taking your time to read this.

Sincerely,

Lance

Anonymous's picture

Asian guys and White Girls


I really don't know what to tell you, but Asian guys going after White Girls is very HARD! It's not as easy as it looks, do you really have a system?

Chase Amante's picture

Reply for Lance

Author

Hey Lance,

First off, realize you're going through a learning curve and adjustment period. When I meet non-Westernized Chinese in China and compare them with Westerners, my first impression tends to be:

  • In terms of family, they're much more mature
  • In terms of working hard, they're much more mature
  • In terms of social skills, they're more child-like
  • In terms of relationship skills, they're more child-like

There are other things - e.g., Asian people tend to be better at remembering small details - or remembering anything, really - that Western people forget, whereas Western people tend to have an easier time coming up with creative solutions.

For the most part, I'd say the Asian cultural and scholastic system is great at turning out "bricks in the wall," per Pink Floyd, but they can struggle for a while to adopt to a less rigid social structure.

Ever see the movie The 13th Warrior? It's a movie about a cultured, sophisticated Muslim scholar who ends up tossed in with the rude, barbaric Vikings. I feel like that's how Asian people must feel when they first move to America and start hanging out with people like me and the majority of my countrymen.

Of course, you'll notice that once the 13th warrior adopts to his culture, he does just fine. The Vikings come to respect the things he's good at, and he even shacks up with a hot Nordic woman!

You'll be playing catch up socially for a while, but hey, that's what I did in college too. The advantage of the guy who's playing catch up is that he has to learn the rules from the ground up - which means that he's paying a lot more attention to what he and everyone else is doing, he's constantly making tweaks, and his progress is exponential, while everyone else's is incremental. You'll find it doesn't take that long to catch up, and once you're caught up, you quickly surpass your peers. After a while you realize you're more socially aware even than the most well-calibrated women you meet.

As for your question specifically for me -

See my post on how to get foreign girls. This is my general approach for any woman who doesn't understand what I'm saying. I just ignore the language barrier and keep moving things aggressively forward with her. In fact, from what I've heard from most of the foreigners I've met out here, I've had an easier time getting girls who don't speak English than the guys who speak Chinese... probably because they spend a lot of time clumsily trying to establish a connection in their non-native language, and I just lead. Some girls don't follow, but I wasn't going to get anywhere with those ones anyway; and I get to have the ones that do.

If I was you, I'd take the approach of leading aggressively with any girl you're running into language barrier problems with. Assume that somewhere between many of them will stay where they are; that's good, you screen out the ones who aren't interested. In a situation where you've got nothing to lose, it doesn't hurt you any to find out if a girl'll come with you.

Topics: check out "The Conversationalist" if you haven't already, and "Spell Broken." Stay away from gossipy girly topics and keep it to things that involve her emotions and identity - e.g., what she wants to do in the future, WHY she wants to do it, etc.

Rejection: that's one of those things you've got to soldier through and get used to. Remember that the real world is VASTLY different from high school. No one takes more than a mild curiosity in your rejection, at best... and many people admire your bravery for trying, when so many other men are afraid to. Do it enough and the sting of rejection becomes less and less. If you're doing street game, for instance, you just go back to walking like nothing happened. People look at you and think, "That's guy's just some horny guy who's used to getting a lot of girls and he's constantly approaching new candidates." Which is not a bad thing to have people think about you when you're just starting out and wouldn't mind the reputation boost!

When I started cold approaching in college, all my pals were impressed. Even if I only talked to a girl for 30 seconds, my buddies (some of whom got TONS of girls, but only through social circle) would say, "Whoa, dude, that was AWESOME... that girl gave you her NAME."

EVERY guy gets rejected. Listen to Brad Pitt talk about how he couldn't get laid when he first moved to Los Angeles. It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Fashion: check out the website for men's fashion magazines, like GQ and Maxim. Try out different looks. Look for items (coats, shirts, jeans, boots, pendants) that get compliments and attention. Stop wearing the items that don't. You want to A) stand out, B) look sexy, C) look cool, D) grab some attention without going over the top. Check out the post on peacocking.

Some of the guys who end up doing the best are the ones who're frustrated with their seeming lack of progress early on. That frustration drives you to work endlessly to get better, to understanding things as much as possible, and to change. And those things, of course, are what enables people who didn't have much talent in an area to become experts in that area.

Chase

Jerome's picture

In response


==============================================================================
So, ***Jerome, what is your advice for us when we talk to girls with this disadvantage?***

====================================================================

Your cultural difference can be a disadvantage or an advantage. It will depend on how you play it. My question is, are you a positive person or a cynical person?

If you want to improve your English and communication skill, take up acting class at community college or the university. That is the best way to eliminate your accent. If it is severe problem, hire a personal acting coach.
If you are serious about changing your life, you have to invest in yourself by spending money to develop your communication skills.

-----For Jerome, I would like to hear more stories about your friend who worked in NY as a VP. His situation is somehow a little close to me as he graduated from China before coming here. Perhaps he knew a little bit more about handling the language problem…

Lance,

Your story and Edward story is not unique...it is actually very common. Nothing special.

Edward English is crappy. Your story and his story are no different than my story. You just want to hold on to that limiting belief. That you are a special snowflake and that your situation and Edward situation is different from mine or Chase. Both me and Chase had little or no success in college. I don’t see the difference in your situation to mine or another white American.

Your success is due to: Lack of game, poor self image, lack of fashion sense, lack of social skill...etc..I can go on forever.

Edward success is base on improving his image and communication skill:

1) Kool haircut
2) Dress well
3) Learn game
4) Works out (weights)

The biggest complaint I get from girls about asian boys are that they don’t have muscle. My advice, go to the student gym and hire a personal trainer. You have to invest in yourself. Maybe take up the martial arts to learn dominance. Girls like guys who have muscle. Period.

Stop talking about your lack. Start living your life and taking action.

P.S. I don’t work for Chase, my advice, you may want to consider buying a Skype session or phone session with Chase or a respectable coach.

I recommend Chase, but I would also advise you to do your research and look at other coaches. But Chase has more integrity and is more honest compare to other marketing PUA Coaches.

Harry's picture

stereotypes


I have run into plenty of white guys who have no confidence in attracting white girls because they believe that white girls only want black guys and that these girls only use white guys as ATMs. Unfortunately, in trying to get one of these guys to see the light all he did was attempt to drag me down through race baiting and racial taunting. In other words, he chose to make me the other and the enemy, the guy who got the girls while he did without. I soon realized, for the best interest of my mental health, to leave him as I found him and let him get on with his masturbation.

White31Girl's picture

whaaa?


What up with all these guys thinking "white girls" are hard to date? Is there some kind of (completely false) rumor going around the world that we are in some way against dating Asian men? I'll just say this.. any girl worth dating is not going to reject you based on your ethnicity. IF a girl would do that, she isn't worth dating. This is an indication of her flawed thinking, and definitly not an indication of a man's date-worthy-ness. (it IS a word, I just made it up! ;)
That whole thing really kinda stinks. I'd not be opposed to dating an Asian man, I would like to... but it seems unlikely. I'm one of those old-fashioned girls who doesn't make the first 'move'. There really is no reason for any guys to be intimidated by a "white girl" more than any other girl.

Ben J's picture

Stereotypes - Can't believe in em


The only way to break a stereotype is to not believe in it.

Lots of Asian guys are just shooting themselves in the foot, saying they can't date white girls because, "They're Asian." This article is solid, and well written too. Thanks for sharing this awesome information. I am an Asian male, and I strongly believe that by not believing in stereotypes, you can overcome any of society's bull crap that they pidgeon hole you with.

There's actually an article written by a white girl about how Asian guys can get any girlfriend they want. The article's here http://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/6-dating-tips-how-asian-guys-can-ge...

I am an Asian male myself and I am extremely attracted to white women. Glad we have this information on the web for us. Don't believe in stereotypes, break the mold!

HV Grad's picture

response


I appreciate your confidence. You can break the mold and not believe in stereotypes all you want but if the girls still believes in them and has been influenced by them from whatever sources for however long it's not going to change how she thinks unless she that perception is challenged.

There is even quantitative data through dating sites and studies that indicate race matters. Look when a woman indicates she's is open to dating all races on her profile EXCEPT yours are going to still think race doesn't matter?
When all you are presented in images, which does form perception, is the guys from Sixteen candles or William Hung belting out "she bangs" then hard to see a certain segment of a demographic in a positive way unless it's through interpersonal connections.

Yes, one at a time. Your race shouldn't affect your behavior but it is no doubt a factor in social hierarchy and it's relation to perception. To dismiss race as a factor ignores how race has affected our history and society in so many ways. Laws, wars, do you really think race wouldn't trickle down into dating and relationships?
You don't have to accept stereotypes and allow race to hold you back but it's something that should be acknowledged because it is a reality.

My2cents's picture

East Asian American guys


I find East Asian guys born in America do quite well with white women. Unless they're total dorks but speaking for my 4 circle of close friends who are Korean Americans we all dated numerous white girls. 2 of them have white girlfriends currently. We all tall, take care of ourselves and we 're a fun group.
It's those recent immigrants who seem to exhibit clannish behavior which is understandable as they don't feel comfortable socializing with other races.
And you're right you have to be comfortable in your own skin. There are plently an Asian American guys can offer, we're mostly highly educated, financially stable, good family values, cultually more worldly and surely not likely to wind up in prison than other races.

Dave 's picture

European Asian guys


Reading all these comments on American Asian guys really makes me think of how different they are here in Europe then in America.
One of my close friends who's a white girl, we both live in the UK and she really is attracted to Asian guys, but she gets insulted or asked why she does because its not the norm here. Also, UK born Asians seem to only stick in their own groups and only date in their race, so hearing that in America is seems more open, I really wish my girl close friend can find someone for her, be it asian or white.

Also, I wonder what asian guys look for in a white girl? Looking at the couples I've seen it's a white girl and Asian guy, the white girl is either petite, very slim, shorter then him and feminine. My friend, she's always worried about her height because she is quite tall, not thin but not fat either so a little over thin I guess. This makes her worry that no Asian guy will like her and she's tried talking to come Asian guys here but they just look at her like she's strange and move off. Why is their such a cultural divide in the US and here in the UK?

Anonymous's picture

To be honest, I think there


To be honest, I think there is some factual basis for thinking that white girls are less inclined to date Asians vs. other ethnicities. HOWEVER, there's a fine line between acknowledging reality vs. falling a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It doesn't matter whether the general population of white girls likes Asian guys. It matters whether a specific girl likes YOU. In the end, each of us is more than his race, income, height, whatever - so why limit yourself to those labels? You are only responsible for yourself and your interactions.

Anonymous's picture

Reply to comment above


I do not think there is any factual basis...
You might see more black guys with white girls depending on where you live... But the reason being (if not because of ethnic diversity) is because some Asian guys hold self limiting beliefs as mentioned in the article. Like you said, life is filled with self fulfilling prophecies, if Asian American guys worry about stereotypes and are afraid to approach white girls then nothing will ever happen. But if they are confident in themselves and believe that they are good enough to date white girls, then I believe they can do just as well as any other ethnicity.

Concrete Jungle's picture

The reality is, especially in


The reality is, especially in Canada now-in-days, White women ONLY date Black guys (white guys too, obviously). BUT there has been a huge increase of White women going for Middle Eastern/Arab/Muslim Men AND Indian/Pakistani men.

Unfortunately, East Asians again, are still in the backseat. I'd like to see things change, but... it won't happen that much. Again, the rate of White Women going for Asian guys (EAST Asians) is still pitiful compared to other men.

Btw, I read a few random youtube comments, and quite a number of White Women seem to think SouthEast Asian men (Indians, etc) are more "family oriented", "smarter" and "better dressed" than East Asians. I want to call bullsh#t on that, but of course, I'd be called a "racist" and/or "troll". SMH.

Anonymous's picture

Reply To Concrete


i hope your right because im a pakistani american who lives in sacramento will deep tan skin and im EXTREMELY ATTRACTED to white women heck all pakistanis/indians love white women and would do anything to have one. do you think white women would go for me?

NONO's picture

This is a goofy comment. All


This is a goofy comment. All Indian/Pakistani men would not do anything to have a white chick. When I hear minorities talking like that it sounds like self loathing, and for my money, it's goddamn repulsive.

Anonymous's picture

What girls want


Seeing interracial couples makes me feel warm inside and I wish it wasn't so rare! Also, there is nothing better than being able to experience another culture so easily and deeply due to the connection with your partner. I definitely agree that confidence is extremely important. Not to be confused with cockiness or loudness but simply knowing what you want, being comfortable in your own skin and most importantly being positive! My Chinese boyfriend is one of the most positive people I know and I can always rely on him to lift my spirits when I'm feeling sad. It really isn't all that complicated and race should never ever be a deal breaker. If it is, then that girl isn't worth the time and effort.

Girls want a guy who simply makes them feel good about themselves, and who also feels good about himself.

Ant's picture

Wow.


Best piece of advice I've read, that's for sure. It kind of woke me up. I do have a question though: the suggestion was to never buy into the Asian stereotypes and subconsciously refuse to believe in negative ideas, which were the parts that enlightened me, so to speak. But what happens when you encounter those stereotypes personally? Do you address it then?

Anonymous's picture

The truth hurts


No matter how much we spin it, race will always be a factor. Some Asian guys have no problems, but in general Asian guys are handicapped with non Asian women. Intimidating and carrying a one shutdown approach.

NONO's picture

I would largely agree with


I would largely agree with this. I'm in small city (500k-700k) in Canada and I've been around white girls who would say: "Look, there's two guys over there" when in fact there was 4 guys and two of them were Asian. Its absolutely ridiculous. Asian guys are handicapped for sure. But then, every guy is handicapped regardless of race if they are not rich, and yet the most successful dudes I have seen were close to broke or at middle income levels. So really the lesson to take is that you don't have to play by the rules. At the macro level being asian matters, but at the individual level it doesn't mean shit.

achillies12's picture

truth


I agree.
This is the the reality. I think it can be taboo to admit but race is also a social value. For many women dating an Asian guy is dating down and regardless of the race, women will initiate that automatic rejection because of his race.

HV Grad's picture

Truth


It is the truth. You don't have to be the guy that wallows in it but a it matters.

You can be confident all you want and strut up to a girl of any race but if she's think you're a nerd or passive due to stereotypes then it's going to be a tough sell.
Hey give it a shot you just might change her mind and if it does she's keep in mind that this girl is likely an outlier and not the majority...

Rose's picture

I only half agree when it comes to confidence.


As a white girl, it's really nice for a guy to have confidence but too much of it can be a turn off because whether you are or not I will likely assume you are a player.

Also I don't think having little confidence puts you out of the running. I really like the sheepish and shy personality too. Just DON'T put yourself down in front of her too much. Like "oh I could never get a girl because...." once or twice I could be fine with but after that you look depressed, not shy... not attractive!

I am really attracted to Asian men by the way :3

Asiankid's picture

Pipe dream


Sure, some Asian men can game but for the majority, its a pipe dream. Asian men get spat on by all women, its ridiculous! Everyone has followed the media like sheep so we are screwed, done like dinner. The truth hurts. White women esp are hard to date and they seem like a different species.

White girl Europe's picture

Nice to read


Hi!
First off all i wanna congrats for the article.
I am a white girl, but im from a country than doesnt have many asians.
I like asian guys and i would date a guy if i have the chance.
I think that my problem is that im a very shy person and if i will ever have the oportunitty i could not react....
(so i dont have to be asian to be unsecure).
I my opinion as a white girl u face kinda the same stereostypes

Danny's picture

Whoa!! I love u Chase (>3<)


Dude Chase,

I LOVE YOU!!! I am an Asian guy. Your article can help me expand my dating circle and start finding white girls as another option!

Thanks broski!! Love Love Love LOL

Happy's picture

Scared White Girl


I'm a white girl, who has ALWAYS liked Asian guys. I'm talking third grade I liked the Viet guy that sat across from me, haha! But I've always been under the impression that Asian guys preferred Asian girls. Most Asian guys from where I live say they prefer other Asians, even one that's currently dating a white girl said he liked Asians most. But then again, these are the FOB guys that seem a little bit TOO attached to their own culture...

I'm not really the typical blonde-haired, blue-eyed white chick that tans regularly, people mistake me for half Asian sometimes because of my features. I'm ghost pale with dark hair and green eyes and apparently look "part Chinese" as my drunk uncle so indignantly puts it... So I feel like if an Asian guy wanted to date someone who looked and acted more Asian as opposed to a more stereotypical white girl he'd just date an Asian. I feel like I've lost that "exotic" factor, and even then I'm still white, so there's still the issue of the discerning parents not approving of the white girl.

I'd love it if an Asian guy liked me and asked me out. I just always thought that Asian guys liked other Asian girls. Huh, time (and college) will tell...

Anonymous's picture

A BIG confession


Since everyone introduce themselves with their race first, i'll do it too. I'm a very outgoing Asian male who is very shy when it comes to relationships, ESPECIALLY when it comes to dating a Caucasian!

Ever since I migrated from an Asian country to white country( -_- ), i was sooo obsessed with blond hair and blue eyes! but was always scared to date one, coz i see sooo many Asian girl and white guy couples, but rarely any Asian guy with white girl couples... WHY DOES ASIAN GIRLS SUCCESS MORE EASILY THEN ASIAN GUYS?!! anyways,

i just want to say THANK YOU SOO MUCH for bringing me back those confidence i had at the beginning!

I'm currently in a very close friendship with a white girl, she is VERY pretty, and have blond hair and blue eyes(exactly what i wanted!)... Wish me luck :D

Anonymous's picture

Chase I feel that there are


Chase I feel that there are more than enough articles on the internet telling Asian men how to pickup White women and I have seen a few Asian men married to White women.

I feel like Asian and Black men have found their niche in America which attracts White women to them. The race of men I believe White women actually dislike or tend to not be open to dating are Indian men, this was proven by an OkCupid study.

Most European White women associate Indians with Arabic immigrants that are viewed as lowly in their country and I have never seen a White American woman with an Indian male.

DO you have any Indian friends that can write about the struggles of Indian guys?

Anonymous's picture

Confidence


Most of my friends are forigen and all my Asian guy friends say they want white girls (thy constantly hit on me) but I don't understand why.
Why? Because I dot see race or color I see the man. My boyfriend is half viet half Chinese. He's shorter then me and was quite shy but he was the cutest sweetest thing. And as we started hanging out more and more he grew more confident and we had a lot of fun.
Nothing is more sexy to me then confidence (I'm his first girl friend so the shy thing was cute) the more confidence you have the more I'm (and other girls) will be attracted to u.
I'm not gonna say that I have confidence 100% of the time especially when he's around really pretty Asian girls. Ill admit it, it makes me nervous not only is she prettier then me but they are the same race and culture. So I tend to lose my confidence here and there but I get it back eventually ;)
I'm not gonna say that every girl doesn't notice race I have friends who won't date certain races and have stuck by it but there are girls out there who arnt shallow so keep trying.
So to all you guys out there who want to get a girl no matter her race just have confidence if she dosnt have the time of day because of ur race dosnt deserve you!
Good luck!

light's picture

Yeah ~All the reason is that


Yeah ~All the reason is that I don.t wanna show how an awesome man I am just after five second I meet a girl.So if I don,t like talk to stranger,that I will be thought as a boring guy by pretty white girls.Fine I got it.Now if you don.t mind,I'd like to date some Asian girls.

1's picture

Should I care about how white


Should I care about how white girls think on me? White people think that I'm a boring guy just because I have nothing to talk with strange people.Yeah my feeling comes late and I also don,t wanna show how powerful how like a man I am just after five second I meet a girl. If this is the reason ,Ok I got it. Now just go ahead .

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