Fundamentals

Editor’s Note: this is our first post from Tony Depp, a seasoned dating coach who has schooled students in North America, Asia, and Europe for over a decade. He also runs his own blog and has authored two highly-rated books (links below). Here’s Tony! –BT

Approaching women during the day is the go-to for many eminent pickup artists. Tony Depp begins this series by sharing some key mindsets for success.

The first time I approached a girl was in high school. It was terrifying and awful.

Her name was Summer. Every day, like a creepy stalker, I watched her from afar in the school hallway. All that beautiful blonde hair, that perky nose, those ski-jump breasts. I was sixteen years old then, and there were no resources for men. No forums, PUA blogs, YouTube, or online courses. If you sucked with girls, the only thing you had to learn from was your own experience.

So one fine day, I found my balls and rallied the courage to approach her. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, “Hi, err… uh, hi. I wanted… umm….” I stood there with my adrenalized heart pounding, lips quivering, sweat forming on my forehead.

And her reply was, “Are you okay?”

I awkwardly turned and fled in shame and embarrassment. For the rest of the school year, I’d see her crossing the hallway from her locker to class, and that familiar adrenaline rush would rise up, internal chatter telling me to stay in my place, to be seen and not heard.

This was my very first attempt at day game. I carried that shame with me for many years before I discovered the pickup community in 2006.

Back then, almost all the information was about how to pick up girls at nighttime, at bars, clubs, and parties. Mystery and Style were the big dogs and they said to hit up the bars, so I did.

For almost two years, I went out seven nights a week, pushing myself to approach women in groups, to be more assertive, witty, entertaining, and confident. I eventually became very good at cold approach pickup, but only in bars.

I’d joined a local PUA (pickup artist) group called The Montreal Lair. On this forum were many men trying to learn how to be successful with women. All of them were focused exclusively on night game, except for one guy – I’ll call him Ricky.

He was a self-proclaimed day-gamer. Back then, day game wasn’t even a thing, but he claimed he was sleeping with a new girl or two each week, simply by complimenting them with a direct opener. Something like, “Hi. I just thought you were sexy and had to meet you. I’m Ricky.”

It was hard to believe. So we met up and I asked him to demonstrate. He said, “Sure thing, bro!” and took me to the nearest intersection. Before long, a pretty girl passed by and Ricky went jogging up to her. She stopped, laughed at his banter, and a few minutes later, he returned with her phone number. I was impressed. But not enough to try it myself – not yet.

Now that we’ve covered the main ingredients of hooking girls in, let’s explore some behind-the-scenes factors that can make or break your success.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last week, I went into the finer details of hooking. Today, I will discuss additional factors that are worth keeping in mind during the hook phase.

This post compiles all the little bits and pieces that didn’t make their own individual post. But don’t be fooled – these concepts and techniques only just now being mentioned doesn’t mean they aren’t relevant, or less relevant than any of the other points made in previous posts.

I simply didn’t see the purpose of making individual posts about these subjects. I may do so in the future – if you’re interested, let me know in the comments section. Also, some of the concepts like social proof have already been discussed in depth, so I won’t repeat myself. Let’s get on with it.

These are factors that will make hooking easier. You’re probably already aware of some of them, but for the sake of context, it is key to mention them. If you’re not familiar with these concepts, feel free to read up on them, as they are all covered on Girls Chase.

Every man has edge, but it’s sometimes hidden or underdeveloped. Here are 3 types of edge you can cultivate into a highly attractive persona.

Edge is something of an esoteric subject. We all know when someone has it. We can see it and feel it when we’re in their presence. But how do you develop edge? That’s what I aim to explain in this article.

Edge, simply put, is something you reveal and then express. Everyone has edge within them. They only need to reveal it, then express it.

Have you ever met an MMA fighter who seems like the most normal of guys? There’s nothing intimidating about him visually, but if you see him train, spar, or fight, you know he’s a tough cookie.

While that’s cool and has some “hidden value” magic to it, it’s not going to help him socialize with those outside his circle, people who don’t know about his talents.

The purpose of edge is to purposefully affect those around you, both men and women. Your edge should intrigue (and maybe even frighten) the people you meet.

It’s meant to trigger those around you to think “There’s something more to this guy than meets the eye.” Edge is, as the name implies and denotes, a feeling of anticipation. Something is bubbling beneath the surface. What is it? It depends on the type of edge that man possesses.

A collection of books across many genres Chase recommends. History, business, biography, psychology, spirituality, self-defense… there’s much to read.

I wrote a post in 2012 about books I’d read and would recommend to readers. It’s been six years since then, and I’ve had numerous folks over the years ask me for an updated list. This is that updated list.

I won’t include books already on my 2012 list, but I still recommend them all. The books on that list by Jared Diamond have come under academic scrutiny more recently, and have not necessarily stood the test of time. Still, even those books were fun reads... and everything else on my 2012 list I’d continue to heartily recommend. You can see that list here.

Full disclosure: there are Amazon affiliate links for these books in this post. I almost left them out, since Amazon affiliate pays such trinkets, but if we’re going to send them traffic I guess if you buy through those links some of it might as well come back here rather than all stay with Amazon. Note however that many of these books are available free online (especially the ones written prior 1950, most of which are no longer covered under copyright), so if you want to pick them up that way, you can likely find them with a quick search engine query.

Luck will always play a role in the women you meet and how things go with them. Yet you can minimize the role luck plays, and tilt the odds your way, with a few simple tweaks.

We’re all familiar with the concept of luck.

It’s a notion with deep roots in a variety of cultures all around the world, as well as an assortment of fields ranging from business to sports, to strategy games, and other branches of knowledge.

But what about seduction – how does luck factor in? That’s the topic of today’s article.

It’s a valid question. After all, to the average guy (who probably doesn’t read Girls Chase), the very act of getting laid with a new woman is dubbed “getting lucky”. This paradigm is a large part of Western culture and has been for a long time. But what about seducers like you and me? Men who spend time and effort working on their girl-getting skills? How much does luck factor in for us?

Now, it isn’t really all that straightforward, but if you stick around to read today’s article, you’ll have a concrete answer to this question.

We’ll cover the main differences between the average guy and the seducer. How much does luck count for both, and what are the varying degrees among seducers? How might one be more reliant on luck than the other? And we’ll address a bunch of other important aspects on this topic, too.

Nervous tics can play havoc with your social and romantic attractiveness. But before you can eliminate them, you’ve got to know you’ve got ‘em first.

One of the biggest contributors to your attractiveness to the opposite sex is the strength of your fundamentals. Fundamentals (in Girls Chase parlance) include everything from your physique, to your fashion, to your hairstyle, facial expressions, walk, voice, mannerisms, and a whole lot more (larger discussion of fundamentals here).

The reason fundamentals are so important is the good qualities they convey of you:

• Personal strength
• Self-confidence
• Self-assurance
• Composure
• Elegance
• Coolness

Even if the majority of your fundamentals are in excellent shape though, there's one thing that poses a direct threat to this powerful, nonplussed impression you'd otherwise create with them.

That one thing is the subject of this article: tics.

Tics are small behaviors with large negative effects on your overall impression. People often won't be consciously aware of what is setting them off when they respond to a tic; they'll just know something seems off about you. When everything else says "strong and composed" but one thing says "uncomfortable", that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch.

There's an upside to this, though: eliminate tics, and you boost to your overall presentation. Once you've stripped out a tic that was 'giving you away' in uncomfortable situations, you get a uniform presentation that stays cool, collected, and attractive, no matter how hard a girl tests you or how much her friends challenge or interloper males try to pick her off from you. Or, for that matter, no matter how heated things get at work, how uncomfortable you feel when asked for ID on the street by a random police officer, or when you walk up to that super cute girl and seem collected even though inside you're a bundle of nerves.

We'll focus on 12 common types of tics today that manifest in your face or body language. Note there are also vocal tics (like throat clearing or repeating your own words or someone else's), but, with one exception, we won't cover those in this article. We'll stay focused on visual tics in this piece.

Commenting on my article about 12 common unsexy nice guy traits, a reader named Colin writes:

“Your article stings and hurts [f]or one reason...which is #8 on this list [don't have any interests or passions]. That's me. That's the reason I'm a mid-30s virgin and am too scared to try any relationships with women. I have a well paying job, own my house, have good relationships with my parents, and behave the way in my "nice guy" mind an attractive guy should be. But I have no passion. I hate and avoid competitive things, because I feel so bad about myself when I fail. I never played sports as a kid for that reason. I'm sort of a wuss, really. #8 is KILLING me. Girls I like have passions. Guys they are with have passions. Why should they like a wuss like me who avoids passionate things? At least it makes sense to me. I even have a girls number and I'm too afraid to call her for fear of exposing my wuss, passionless self. That and the fact that I don't socialize with any friends...don't really have any at that. I realized long ago I had no hobbies other than masturbating, and so I started taking up guitar. But even that's wuss because that's not competitive. At least not the way I play. I'm lost and I don't know how to get around this, no matter what I read. I need specific help.”

We've had a lot of guys ask the "How to be passionate?" question over the years. Most of the advice out there is ephemeral - you've got to search for what you're passionate about! they tell you. Makes for a nice sound bite, and while it is true, it is also pretty useless, as far as advice goes.

We're going to nail it down for you today, and give you some practical tips you can use to immediately get the 'passion' area of your life handled.

Because, well, everything's better with passion. Until you reach the point where everything's better with Zen... however, that's a discussion for another day.

Today, let's put the magnifying glass on passion, and see how to add it into your life even when it seems like it isn't there.