Dating

It’s the end of the date and she’s come back to yours. How do you up the odds she ends up in bed, and not leaving early?

It’s the end of the date, and things seem to be going well.

You made all the right moves, she laughed at all your jokes, the night is winding down, and she hasn’t checked her phone once (OK, maybe once when you went to the bathroom).

You knew this moment was coming… and now is the time.

“Hey... you said you like white wine, right? I have a bottle back at my place. Want to come over for a glass or two?”

You hold your breath… and she says yes. “Score!!!” you think, giving yourself a pat on the back.

Walking up to your door, she’s giving you all the right signs. Her eyes are lit up and she can’t stop smiling at you.

But when you walk inside and sit down on the couch… things seem to cool off a bit. She’s a little icier – somehow more distant.

After about 20 minutes of small talk (and half a glass of white wine), out of nowhere she looks at her phone and says, “Oh crap, I forgot I have to wake up REALLY early tomorrow... maybe we can do this another time?”

Has this ever happened to you? Well, you’re not the only one.

So, why do women do this? If the date is going so well, why would she get so icy when things are supposed to be heating up? Even if there’s plenty of attraction, emotional connection, and things have escalated physically, a dwelling in disarray can really throw a woman off kilter!

Today, I’m going to show you why what you have in your home can help you avoid hearing the words “I forgot I have to wake up early” ever again.

Do you need to sleep with every girl on the first date? The answer: no, but it helps. Sometimes a lot.

Often enough we’ll get someone on the Girls Chase forums who, after following the GC model of “move faster,” will begin to question the validity of said model.

Usually it’s because he finds the majority of chicks he meets up with won’t sleep with him on the first date... or, when he does go for the first-date lay, he crashes, burns, and never hears from her again, no matter how much he persists. Usually his inquiries are focused on women of higher quality (more beautiful or popular) and he suspects they aren’t prone to sleeping with men quickly.

Well, that’s actually true – beautiful girls with high self-esteem are much less likely to sleep around, as they’ve learned from a young age just how in-demand they are and how easily they can rope men in to relationships without having to give up sex.

However, this doesn’t change the fact that these women will have sex with you on a first date/meeting. Not only is it possible, it’s better, because the quicker you sleep with her, the more likely she is to date you, and not those other dudes. We will answer why in this article.

Now, this is important: to most naturals (like myself), it isn’t really about strategy – it’s about desire. When you ask us why it’s important to sleep with a girl on the first date, the answer is “because I want to sleep with her.” To understand this mindset, divorce yourself from strategic, categorical thinking for a moment.

You see a girl with a nice ass, busty tits, or a beautiful face – you want to have sex with her, without a doubt. Why would you NOT want to have sex with her as quickly as possible? This thought is in fact a much higher order of frame and masculine thinking than the “how do I keep her or seem most dominant?” mindset, even if it seems simpler or more primal. It’s rooted firmly in the man’s desire (i.e., your frame).

On a slightly more academic level, I addressed this question of lay speed in my article on moving fast without rushing. My thesis was simple – because time is irrelevant to women, why not move fast?

If a woman feels sexually or emotionally connected (or both), she will have sex with you quickly.

Thirty minutes after meeting you, an hour into the first date, or without even a first date and straight to your house, etc. (also, for clarification, a first date can also include the first time you meet her out. Basically, the first time you have any significant chance of sleeping with her, be it at a bar, coffee shop, or a predetermined meeting)

The only higher-tier counterargument to this mindset that I can surmise, and one I’ve seen a few times, is if it takes you longer to sleep with a girl, that ensures her chances of cheating are lessened, because if it was hard for YOU to get her, then imagine how hard it will be for those OTHER guys. Well, we’ll cover that one, too.

However, many guys still wonder why it’s important that you sleep with her on the first date or meeting.

But first we need to address the primary question.

To get a girlfriend in 2 weeks, you pick your target, go where she is, be flirty and social, and go for the close. But that’s just Step 1.

You can just picture it: that cute girl with a trim waist, a lovely laugh, and long, silky hair. How good it feels when she presses up against you and snuggles into you. How perfect her eyes are. How soft her body is. And she's yours, and she wants to be yours, and nobody else's.

In 2004, I (Chase Amante) sat down to figure out how to get a girlfriend. Because at the time I didn't know. This venture took me on an amazing journey... And I've dated some truly incredible women along the way. But more than that, I've been able to help tons of men do the same. Since I launched GirlsChase.com in 2008, I've helped thousands of men find awesome girlfriends. Many of those girls have even turned into wives.

So here, today, in distilled form, is my guide to getting that girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend - this is the guide to getting an amazing one. And we're going to do it all in just two weeks. Because, after all, life is short. Why should you and her need to remain apart any longer than necessary?

We've broken this article down into three sections. You can skip ahead to any of them (or their subsections) using the Table of Contents to the left.

Explanations aside, let's get going and get you an awesome girlfriend.

Men sabotage their own dating lives all the time. 4 of the biggest saboteurs: kissing and telling, pleading, wrong sex talk, and moralizing.

When you go out to meet girls, you may unconsciously be sabotaging your chances without even knowing it. Men do it all the time.

Truth is, you can have fantastic looks and be able to get the ladies insanely worked up, but there are some simple things that can negate even the best game – things you can fix with a little effort and rewiring.

In my first article for Girls Chase, I’d like to share a primer... on the biggest obstacles I see guys toss into their own paths.

In Part I of the series, we look at the hard target dater: the man who can’t be suckered by friend-seekers, flirts, diggers, or climbers.

In the excellent self-defense book Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours, Geoff Thompson uses the term ‘hard target’ to describe someone who’s a difficult mark for attackers. If you’ve read my article on how to be street smart, you know what I’m talking about (and if you liked that article, you should probably grab Geoff’s book). Essentially, you can turn yourself into someone the bad people just don’t want to mess with.

This article kicks off a three-part series on becoming a hard target not for assault or mugging, but in your romantic and social life. How do you not get suckered by those who seek to sucker?

In each installment of the series, I’ll address a specific social arena where men get duped. The areas we’ll examine are:

1. Dating: when you first meet a girl, get to know her, and take her out on dates (this article)

2. Relationships: once you’re already together with a girl, in a romantic relationship with her (next article)

3. Social Life: non-romantic encounters in the social arena: friends, acquaintances, people with connections (third article)
   

We’ll take a look at why people will try to bilk you, what kinds of people will do this, and why they try things with some people but not others. And finally, we’ll talk about becoming a hard target these people leave alone, and can’t crack if they try.

You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
2. What If She Says No?
3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

“When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet”

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.

It’s important to move fast with women. Yet, you can absolutely overshoot – and get into the habit of rushing with girls instead.

In my article on skipping steps with girls who are thirsty for you, an anonymous commenter asked the following question:

“Good read. How do you reconcile your comment that "time is irrelevant to seduction" with Chase's mantra that one must move quickly? Am I misunderstanding the context?”

Perfect question. I struggled with this one for a long time. Before finding GirlsChase, I definitely understood that women love sex, and that long courtships are signs that you want something serious. Hell, I had once slept with a girl thirty seconds after meeting her. I always knew fast is good.

But I still made certain exceptions – girls who were more conservative, girls who were hotter than my usual catch, etc.

Then, when I found GirlsChase, I kept running into Chase’s motto of “move fast.” In almost every article, it was there. It infected my brain and eventually opened my eyes to how many girls I’d lost because I didn’t move fast enough.

I changed that – quickly. And my lay count skyrocketed. Women loved how aggressive I’d become.

Yet I also found that the number of girls I took out on dates was still much higher than the girls I bedded (my date-to-lay ratio, if you want to be a nerd). I would make out with them, exchange oral favors, but intercourse was not as frequent as I’d hoped.

Why were these girls not letting me go all the way?

Because I was rushing.

You see, moving fast and rushing are two different things.