Dating

If she’s on the fence about complying with you, there’s an easy way to get her off that fence: ask her if she’s chicken.

Quick fun post on how to get girls to do stuff they resist doing.

You can read more on how to get girls to say yes (or what to do if they say no) in my compliance series:

1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
2. What If She Says No?
3. How to Say No to Others
   

Today though I just want to talk about one specific little technique. This is the technique of playfully accusing girls of being scared to do whatever it is you want them to do.

This is very simple to do. It’s lots of fun. And it’s wildly effective at turning non-compliant girls into compliant ones. Works on a whole huge spectrum of types of compliance she can resist you on, too.

Technology offers myriad colossal benefits. Yet, it can hurt your ability to meet and succeed with women just as much as it helps.

Errol Flynn, gazing into his girl’s eyes, taking her face into his excited hands... getting closer to her, just about to kiss… and *bliiim* he gets a Snapchat notification, opens it, and starts chatting and sending duck-face selfies.

Difficult to imagine such a situation, right? Well, it’s not THAT far from what’s happening today with young generations. You’re probably thinking “Nah, Davi is exaggerating, I’m not THAT addicted to technology. No worries on my end.” But let me tell you, technology’s influence on your game can be WAY more subtle, and even good seducers get trapped in some of the modern world’s pitfalls.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not an anti-tech piece; rather, it is meant to illustrate how tech can hamper your success with women if used improperly.

In this article, I’ll detail three different categories in which today’s technology has an impact.

First of all, conversations: we have so many different communication methods now, and they all have their own rules. People are having more and more virtual exchanges than vivid, real-life discussions. And they take the digital world’s rules as face value and apply them in real life – DANGER.

I’ll also cover the impacts this has on approaches, before talking about three specific problems affecting your seducer-you: investment/availability, power delegation, and immediacy.

Craigslist is a great resource for those living The Lifestyle – swinging, sex parties, and more. There are 6 worthwhile categories on CL, and each needs its own approach.

This is Part 2 of my series on “The Lifestyle”, on sex parties, orgies, swinging, and polyamory. You can read Part 1 of the series here: “The Lifestyle, Part 1: How to Get Into Sex Parties, Swinging, and Polyamory.” In today’s article, we’ll talk about how to find new partners on Craigslist.

An author named Esther Perel has become really famous for turning public discourse on infidelity and the nature of human sexuality on its head.

She has focused on the question: Why do good people cheat?

Esther – along with many other historians and thinkers – has posited that human beings were never designed to be monogamous. While designed to be in groups, we are primates who are constantly shifting in sexual desires and sexual partners. She adds that monogamy has served more as power structure and agrarian vestige than anything else.

Those societies that held chastity as a sacred virtue often had stricter discipline and enjoyed economic and military conquest. Moreover, young women from various fiefdoms and kingdoms were married off to princes and kings of other fiefdoms and kingdoms in order to form alliances and unions.

In the agrarian age, marriage was a sensible safeguard to produce a family that could help a mother and father till land, and produce goods that would bolster future generations.

Thus, monogamy has always had a sensible function in the human dynamic. But it has never been about love. Perel argues that the combining of monogamy with love was a way to justify a seemingly strange practice.

But biologically speaking, it’s rather unreasonable to say that you do not deeply care about someone or even love them if you don’t have a desire to sleep with only them for 50+ years.

And this tension generates the conundrum that a lot of good people face: their biology versus their vows. Perel argues that ultimately, biology has the stronger pull. And so that is why good people end up engaging in infidelity.

And it is also from this tension that The Lifestyle of sexual liberation was born. Perel posits one central question of her own: What if, in love, we could explore different orientations of sexual partners, situations, and desires while still maintaining a strong bond and commitment?

And it’s exactly these different orientations of love and sexual gratification that Perel explores.

In the last post, I explored “The Lifestyle” from the perspective of public events.

And now, we look at it from the private side of things. But before I dive into The Lifestyle on the private side, I want to highlight a juxtaposition that Perel outlines. She argues that in every romantic pairing (especially traditional male-female), there is always one person who is afraid of losing their partner and being alone. And there’s always one person who is afraid of losing themselves in the relationship. It’s often the person who is afraid of losing him or herself that has the stronger pull toward a more sexually liberal situation.

For any guys who are currently in, or have been in, a serious relationship: have you ever felt this way? I would imagine many have.

So a lot of couples are constantly asking how to make sure that both partners are satisfied in a pair dynamic.

And thus, that is why Perel argues that it’s ultimately healthy to explore sexuality beyond just a pair in a relationship. So in this post, I’ll go through the different orientations you are likely to see, and how to get involved in these myriad Lifestyle situations.

The next post will be dedicated to handling emotional hiccups, jealousy, and some additional resources about The Lifestyle.

Girls bring up feminism sometimes at the bar or on dates. But address this wrong, and you either look weak, or get into a fight. What do you do?

It is not uncommon these days to read about feminism and gender related issues in mainstream and social media. It is indeed a hot subject; many politicians focus on gender issues, schools and universities have been affected by feminism, and society as a whole experiences both the benefits and the consequences of these ideals.

Regarding men’s websites, we often see critics of feminism – especially on websites related to the “men’s rights movement” (MRM) – who usually post about the negative effects feminism has on society and how it impacts men’s lives.

These MRM posts are usually normative and take a political stance regarding the subject. This is not the purpose of this post.

I want to analyze how feminism – and the subject of feminism – can affect some of your interactions with women. In other words, what do you do if a girl starts giving you the feminist talk when you are trying to escalate the vibe? I want to discuss the direct, practical implications this has on the interaction while treating the normative status of the subject as irrelevant. In other words, I will leave the discussion regarding whether or not feminism per se is good or bad to somebody else (for now), and instead share a more descriptive and practical perspective on the subject.

The idea of this post is to cover why and how to deal with women bringing the gender debate into interactions. The perspective of this post is based on the basic assumption that you want to get her naked.

If you are like me and go out a lot, you will encounter women bringing this subject up, especially in the light of important political events, which tend to stir up such controversial subjects. Note that this post is focused on feminism and gender related questions because these tend to be the most commonly brought up political topics when interacting with women. However, each of the techniques covered here are valid for any controversial or loaded political, philosophical (only if it is normatively loaded), religious, or ethical subject. I believe all of these are topics to be avoided in seduction. You will see in this post that my focus is mostly geared toward changing or avoiding the subject, as these topics are simply not fruitful for seduction.

Also note that when I am referring to feminism, I am not just referring to the topic of “gender equality” (which is only one of the many topics of feminism – one that I tend to agree with); I’m speaking of the whole ideology behind the feminist world view.

Girls sometimes ask screening questions over text. How you handle these is the difference between vanish or date.

I recently read a private report from one of our senior discussion forum members. It was of a girl he’d met via street stop, took a phone number from, and later slept with a few dates in.

In the text conversation that followed his brief initial meet, she hit him with a few screening questions:

• On his age
  
• Whether he was a student or worked
  
• Why he picked her to approach
  

In between these, she asked other questions. It was friendly enough. But these types of text message screens can be deceptively dangerous.

There’s no subcommunication you can use to make an answer playful over text. No body language, voice tone, or facial expressions to flesh out your response. Things you’d say in-person that would work great in that medium (“I’m a traveling vagabond”) may completely disqualify you over text. Yet just the same, if you are boring or flat, you may lose the girl too.

The way to deal with text screens is straightforward enough. Yet the challenge is, can you resist the urge to be too clever... without completely following her lead?

Women use makeup, hair, dress, and behavior to make you think they’re prettier and more sexually receptive than they are. But you don’t need to be fooled.

After I’d been meeting girls in bars and on the street for a few years, I decided to undertake a project. I wanted to become instant and good at differentiating naturally beautiful girls from all the rest. And there were a few reasons I decided to do this.

If you aren’t too experienced with women yet, or you haven’t paid much attention to this, there’s a lot women can do to make themselves look more attractive than they naturally are. And in fact, often this ‘artificial beauty’ commands men’s attention more than natural beauty does. I discussed this in “You’re Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls”; how, quite often, a guy will go for the flashy girl with red lips and a low neckline over the girl who actually has the prettier face and better breasts, but who does not advertise these.

My suggestion is for you to switch it up. Rather than go for the girl who makes herself look better and more sexually receptive than she is, you go for the girl who is genuinely beautiful, and genuinely receptive, yet isn’t angling for your attention as much.

Of course, that’s hard to do if you don’t know what you’re looking for. The hair, makeup, and clothes industry is designed to trick the male brain. It is hard to not be spellbound by the woman in flashy attire, with flashy hair, and flashy makeup.

Thus, if you’d like to see past the illusion, you must train to attune to certain things.

Whose dating life is harder, men’s or women’s? The answer is nuanced… because there are different groups within both sexes.

Several weeks back, I wrote “Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game.” This piece of writing was about how ‘game’ (conversational and logistical aptitude aimed at meeting, bedding, and dating women) is an organic outgrowth of complex, fast-paced urban societies.

The reason we fingered for the emergence of game was that urban societies present new opportunities for men (i.e., the ability to have sexual intercourse with lots of women), yet also new challenges (i.e., women are much more experienced with men, have many more options, and cut a lot less slack).

One of the things I mentioned in this article was that while men have it harder in urban environments, fear not – women have it harder too. Yet several commenters wanted to clarify: women may have it harder, but men have it far harder still.

Well, do men have it harder?

The answer is yes. And no.

I’m going to both agree and disagree with this “men have it harder” sentiment today. Don’t worry, if you’re currently feeling like it is far harder for you than it is for many women, I won’t be telling you you’re wrong. But I am going to show you why it is this way for you... but not for every guy in the city. Some guys have it the opposite way (i.e., it’s easier for them than it is for women).

We’re going to focus on three (3) elements of urban dating that make things harder or easier for various groups of men, as these men’s dating success compares with women’s. Those three elements are:

1. That men and women want different things
   
2. That men occupy the extremes
3. And that what men go for in cities vs. what they go for elsewhere are different

In the end, I expect you will have a far more nuanced view of dating and mating in large urban environments, the plusses and minuses therein, and who you have to be to become one of the men who has it easier than girls do, instead of being stuck being one of the men who has it harder than girls do.