Dating

12 Traits All Boring, Unsexy Nice Guys Have in Common


nice guysIn “How to Use Astrology with Girls", Balla puts in a request in the comments section:

Yo Chase, I think you should make an article about un sexy friendly guy traits. Like how you mention not to hug because it’s platonic, sending girls pictures/asking, laughing or smiling to much and a few other things guys might not know what they’re doing that are very hard to detect. You just point out all the negative mannerisms and characteristics and tell us what we should do instead. I think it’ll be a great article.

I thought this would be both a fun article to do, and one that hopefully will point out to some guys some harmful thinking they might have going on, and things they’re doing with girls that they’re shooting themselves in the feet with.

So, here goes... 12 traits that all boring, unsexy nice guys have in common.

Why is Mainstream Dating Advice So Ineffective?


A few weeks back, in the comments section of “Real Empiricists Test”, a reader asked the following question regarding the gulf between mainstream dating advice and what’s taught on this site:

Is there an article on this, or maybe someone can answer this outright. But why is it that mainstream dating advice is so contrary to the dating advice given on this site ? Why is it that there is almost no agreement ?

mainstream dating advice

The short answer, of course, is that what we focus on here is entirely techniques and strategies that:

  1. Achieve efficient, effective, reproducible results

  2. Are tested out and balanced against alternatives and discarded if found ineffective

  3. Are coming from people who’ve devoted a large chunk of time specifically to this field

... whereas most mainstream dating advice is coming from regular folk with limited experience dating and even less time spent studying and analyzing dating and sex and relationships and social dynamics both in the field and with other likeminded folk.

But the fact of that matter is, it goes a lot deeper than this. There’s more to this clash of ideologies than simply field experience vs. non, and it mainly has to do with who’s giving the advice, and what their objectives are in giving it.

Quick Escalation to Sex: It's All About the Windows


quick escalationA hot topic on the discussion boards as of late has been the concept of escalation windows: how to spot them, and what you should do when one of these colossal portals to hanky-panky town is unlocked before your eager eyes. Escalation windows can be hard to spot, and when detected, you must act quickly and with conviction.

If you’re not quite sure exactly what we mean by the term “escalation window”, you should probably go ahead and give this 2011 article by Chase a quick read to get your feet wet.

Basically, escalation is an out-and-out requirement if you want to sleep with women. Why’s that, you ask?

To paraphrase a nice little tidbit that a very wise mentor once best owed upon me: “No Escalation, No Lovin’…”

So with that in mind, if you don’t escalate things… well, you know what will happen. Or, more precisely, what won’t happen.

When You Think Girls are Chasing You (But You’re Still Chasing)


Note from Chase: Ross is one of our senior discussion board members, with a very steady hand and plenty of sage advice to go around for men aspiring to excel with women. Ross’s shared a few guest articles on GC before in early 2013, and Im really happy to announce he's joining the team as one of our new regular contributors. Please welcome him back to writing for the site! Without further ado, I give you Ross.


A situation that has been popping up more frequently on the discussion boards entails a scenario where guys think girls are chasing after them. These guys get frustrated, as they believe that the girl is chasing after them, yet they cannot figure out why things still aren’t working out. They’ll often point to some behavior that’s supposed to be indicative of chasing, yet this doesn’t necessarily provide insight into all of the dynamics at play between the guy and girl here.

The ever-so-popular stand-up gig that pokes fun at women for being illogical in arguments comes to mind when I think of this issue. The husband will argue with his wife using facts, only to be completely shut down by her emotionally charged response. On paper, it will look like he’s won. However, anyone viewing the event could tell you that he obviously lost.

girls are chasing you

As a result, it’s difficult for someone critiquing a guy’s interactions to tell whether he’s really winning with girls... or only paper-winning. All a forum member can do is read what people have written about their interactions with women, and form opinions and give feedback based off of that. Thus, many guys will receive positive reinforcement that they are doing a good job, even though in real life they just aren’t getting results or reaching their goals.

Today, I hope to relieve some of the issues surrounding this misinterpretation of data. It’s time for a mental model update, because the dynamic of chasing goes much deeper than the surface.

14 Terrible Signs You're Deep in the Friend Zone


We’ve talked about the friend zone on Girls Chase before: why it’s bad, what it looks like, and how to get out of it.

But you’ve asked for more.

You’ve asked for clear signs you can look for that are undeniable proof you’ve careened off the Road to Sexytimes and into the Bog of Asexuality. Irrefutable sign posts that the good times of dreaming about lovingly gazing into one another’s eyes are long behind you, and you now exist solely to stroke her ego as proof that she is so charming, so wonderful, and so hypnotically mesmerizing that great guys like you will just hang around in awe of her... all while she samples her fill of sexy bad boys.

friend zone

Well, never fear. While the greatest danger of the friend zone is your own denial, all the rest we will solve with this enlightening post.

So, provided you can handle the healthy dose of cognitive dissonance you’ll receive from discovering that the girl you were so certain you were just one more funny text message away from talking onto your johnston really doesn’t think of you “that way" and probably never will, let’s dive in...

... and arm you with the 14 Terrible Signs You’re Deep in the Friend Zone.

Truly Beautiful Women Have More Than Looks: 7 Long-Term Things to Look For


Beautiful women – they are the desire of men the world over. You could look at them, talk to them, talk about them, and be in their presence until the day’s end.

beautiful women

Or could you? Is having a beautiful woman at your side the key to your happiness…or is there more? Today I’m going to break down the concept of beauty and what we men really need to be happy in the long term with the women in our lives.

Why to Have Fast Sex with a Girl You've Just Met


fast sexGentlemen!

In this post I am going to argue for the necessity of having fast sex; for having sex with women the very first time you meet them.

Personally, I rarely take women’s numbers; I actually can’t remember the last time I took a woman’s phone number. And that’s not because I’m taking their email addresses or Facebooks, either.

I am not really the type of man who has the patience. I want to feel the rush, the excitement, and the joy of doing something spontaneous with a woman. So, taking this into consideration, I need to admit that I get very frustrated when someone asks me about “dating” or “how to seduce a particular girl”, because, though I can answer them, these are not my preferred topics. Many other posters around here would give out better answers to such things.

However, if you’d like to discuss one-night stands, cold approaches, female sexuality, sex talk, seduction theory, threesomes, escalation, or anything else that is related to having dirty, spontaneous sex with hot women in exciting environments, then feel free to ask me questions.

Should I Make Her My Girlfriend?


“I am in love – should I make her my girlfriend?”

I have, on multiple occasions, including in the comment sections here at Girls Chase, been asked such a question.

should I make her my girlfriend?

We humans can bond with one another emotionally and experience a stream of emotion that is very intense. We often refer to that experience as love, and, as we know, love is a strong thing.

As you meet women, you will probably meet some you truly like – i.e., some who you would maybe even say you’ve fallen for.

After a while, you pretty much decide to stop doing cold approaches and instead aim to get that one particular girl as your girlfriend.

Such a thing happens to most of us, including Chase and I. I will, in this post, share my opinions on this topic. But keep in mind that you know best what is best for you, and if you believe that trying to get this particular girl to become you girlfriend, no matter what, is an ideal thing for you to do, then you must do whatever floats your boat.

How to Have Sex with Hot College Girls


Ah, college – the land of ample, hassle-free social interactions and zero sexual inhibitions. For many men, there are very few times in their lives when they have so much sexual opportunity.

Yet, many of them don’t take full advantage of the number of hot college girls available to them. So today, I’m going to talk about how to up your game with these higher institution beauties, and take full advantage of the abundance that’s truly available to you.

Your Sexual Market Value: Who's Afraid of Desperate Men?


sexual market value340Breeze poses an intriguing “What if?” scenario over on the article about astrology:

An interesting question is how do you think women would behave in general toward men (in terms of their attitude, expectations, submissiveness, physical attributes (caring about being fat vs slim), etc) if the vast majority of available men were completely unwilling to trade (access to resources, money, etc )for hopes of sex? I know this is unrealistic since clearly women have choice in men because: (1) men are the agressive sex meaning women have lots of suitors just by being a woman; and (2) men seem to want women’s vjs more than women want what men have to offer.

I think this one’s worth addressing because I see a lot of frustration from guys on various corners of the Internet about desperate men trading their time and energy to women in exchange for the hope of a chance to maybe possibly someday if they’re lucky have a shot at entering said women’s vaginas.

The talk is that these desperate men make it harder for everyone else to get laid, and/or that women are becoming overly entitled as a result of it.

And to some extent... there’s a nugget of truth in there, yeah.

But to a larger extent, this is looking at the problem all wrong, with blinders on to the real setup – and the real solution.

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