Dating | Girls Chase

Dating

How to Build a Woman Cloud (and Unlock Abundance Mentality)

woman cloud
Dating is a lot more fun if you have a cloud of women to choose from. To build your woman cloud, you’ll need a slightly different approach to follow-up.

This article revolves around a common question I get asked – about an issue with a particular kind of seduction, with a particular kind of girl. Maybe she’s hotter than the usual… or maybe there was a genuine connection, or the stakes felt pretty high. I’m sure most of the readers have run into similar situations during certain levels of their progress… I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

Maybe you met her at a bookstore, or on the street, or at a bar. You traded phone numbers and tried to set up a date. She’s busy. Or you set up a date, and she flaked. A lot of seducers at the intermediate level and below tend to get quite bothered by this issue. And I certainly did, too.

And what’s the solution? Better texting? Making a stronger impression? Both are valid things to try. However, those aren’t the types of things that address the deeper problem, which is:

Abundance.

An abundance mentality is something that has been discussed on Girls Chase before. And most of us already have an idea of what it looks like… or should look like. To a seducer with abundance mentality, that particular seduction or that particular girl isn’t a cause for concern... because there’s always going to be another girl willing to go to bed.

But you might be curious… how can one cultivate such an attitude?

It usually takes a few years – and heaps of experience – before this starts to take shape. It doesn’t happen overnight. But what if you could develop a higher level of abundance… let’s say, in a few weeks’ effort, or a month, or even… this time next week?

That might sound like a tall order… but it’s something that can definitely be done.

Move Fast, but Don’t Rush Her

don't rush her
It’s important to move fast with women. Yet, you can absolutely overshoot – and get into the habit of rushing with girls instead.

In my article on skipping steps with girls who are thirsty for you, an anonymous commenter asked the following question:

Good read. How do you reconcile your comment that "time is irrelevant to seduction" with Chase's mantra that one must move quickly? Am I misunderstanding the context?

Perfect question. I struggled with this one for a long time. Before finding GirlsChase, I definitely understood that women love sex, and that long courtships are signs that you want something serious. Hell, I had once slept with a girl thirty seconds after meeting her. I always knew fast is good.

But I still made certain exceptions – girls who were more conservative, girls who were hotter than my usual catch, etc.

Then, when I found GirlsChase, I kept running into Chase’s motto of “move fast.” In almost every article, it was there. It infected my brain and eventually opened my eyes to how many girls I’d lost because I didn’t move fast enough.

I changed that – quickly. And my lay count skyrocketed. Women loved how aggressive I’d become.

Yet I also found that the number of girls I took out on dates was still much higher than the girls I bedded (my date-to-lay ratio, if you want to be a nerd). I would make out with them, exchange oral favors, but intercourse was not as frequent as I’d hoped.

Why were these girls not letting me go all the way?

Because I was rushing.

You see, moving fast and rushing are two different things.

Why I Quit Doing Friends with Benefits

quit fwb
Friends with benefits (FWB) is a fun, no-strings way to have sex. So why give it up? There are 6 good reasons to, including laziness, distraction, and getting stuck with the wrong girl.

A little while back, I wrote a couple of posts on friends with benefits (FWB):

I noted here that I don’t do friends with benefits anymore. Guys have asked why over the years and I’ve talked about it a bit, but haven’t really sat down to give it a full-on article on the subject.

This article will be similar in spirit to “Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink.” It’s about why I opted to quit doing something that sounds like a fun time (wild party girls; no-strings casual sex). And it’s about the pros and cons.

But let’s start with the basics. What’s not to love about friends with benefits?

Tactics Tuesdays: Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her

she helps you
You shouldn’t join a girl’s shopping expedition for a date. So why’s it okay to invite her along while YOU shop? The difference is the dynamic.

In my article on The “Help Run Some Errands” Date, Lawliet questions whether having a girl come help you on dates doesn’t set too much of a boyfriend frame.

As we’ve talked about before, you very much do not want to be the early boyfriend. If you act like her boyfriend before you sleep with her, you will almost never sleep with her. We’ve even talked about the misfortune that fell one poor man who decided it’d be a good idea to take a girlfriend of mine shopping and go around holding her bags for her.

So why, then, would I turn around and propose you take girls shopping with you?

Have I flipped my gourd?

Gone stark mad?

No, don’t worry. If this distinction confuses you, it won’t for long.

That’s because in today’s article, we’re going to draw a line between what happens when you help her versus when she helps you.

7 Dating Mistakes that Doom Men’s Love Lives

dating mistakes
You’ve hit a plateau and just can’t get results with girls. When this happens, it’s down to at least 1 of the 7 common dating mistakes.

In my article on overcoming loser mentality, a reader named Sub-Zero comments:

I didn’t mean to confuse you with my comments about not approaching and everything, but I do approach and have practiced stuff from your site.

what I mean about not approaching is mostly day time and night street game.

I just haven’t gone up to girls during the day time and approached them or tried to pick them up.

I do mostly grind on girls at the club, and I talk to them as well, but the grinding part is mostly my approach, I sometimes go into convo and get numbers.

I have used techniques from this site, and have gotten lays from it.

it’s just hard for me to put myself out there to potentially get rejected and wasting my time. I always have felt like think that since I was young.

that is how I feel, but I know I can’t feel like that.

I have been here for years and I should be better than where I am at, I have gotten numbers, deep dived, but i haven’t gotten many dates even though I’ve been here for years.

maybe you see something I don’t.

I didn’t realize I have been on my head so much until you pointed it out.

I do approach, but I don’t really count them because it’s not like day game approach, I feel like that is really cold approaching.

Sub-Zero’s commented multiple times in the past that what he wants is to have lots of success with women, and in particular he wants to have lots of success with women 10 years his junior.

These things are, of course, achievable.

The problem is that how he goes about achieving these objectives (and how many guys do) is flawed. He makes a number of very key dating mistakes.

I’ve seen time and again guys frustrated with their results making one or more of these same dating mistakes. The mistakes all center around the same error: the guy gets too caught up on doing certain little things, and misses the big picture.

So, to shake you out of any of these mistakes you may be making, today I want to shine a light on the seven (7) biggest dating mistakes men make... And what you need to do to overcome them.

16 Ways Sales and Dating Overlap (and 11 Ways They Don’t)

sales and dating
Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.

In my article “The Beginning is the Hardest Part”, commenter Carver Montana requests an article on where sales and seduction overlap:

Hey Chase,

Thanks for another great article!

As I was reading the start of it, I got to thinking... I’ve seen you mention your experience in sales a number of times throughout your articles. From what I can gather, it was one of the things that helped you in various ways to ultimately become better with women.

Now, normally when you write about your sales experience, you seem to relate it pick up more or less indirectly. For example, you tell a story about how you went from being looked down upon by your co-workers to eventually gaining their respect, and then you relate that to an article about rising through the social ranks and so on. But I am curious as to why I’ve never seen you write about how sales pertain more directly to pick up.

I know a bit about sales myself (I’m an online marketer) and I know that there is a lot of overlap between the psychology of sales and that of pick up. No doubt you’re keenly aware of this. Hell, I even see you using common sales terminology, such as “closing” and “buying temperature.”

I feel like an article on the similarities between sales and pick up could be a good read. It would be nice to see on the site, if you think it would be appropriate ;)

Carver is right – I’ve referenced sales repeatedly throughout my writing. Some articles on here directly pull from my sales experience, such as my piece on Social Styles. Much of the terminology in the pickup / seduction world comes from sales terminology as well (though I should that terminology was already in place when I discovered pickup). And I do toss in sales anecdotes and sales analogies pretty often.

So, what exactly is the overlap between seduction and sales? Is there a perfect analogy between the two, or are there places the two don’t connect as well?

Let’s give you some tools to better compare the two. Along the way, if you’re familiar with sales you might find a few extra tools you can apply in your courtships that perhaps you haven’t applied already. And if you’re not familiar with sales, but you are familiar with seduction, you may just find sales less alien territory for you than you might think.

Tactics Tuesdays: Time Management on Dates and in Pickups

time management on a date
You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

  1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
  2. The strategy around how best to use that time

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.

Is It Ever Okay to Date a Feminist?

date a feminist
Feminism has fast become a dominant ideology. When so many of the girls you meet have feminist leanings, should you ever actually date a feminist?

One of the more unusual phenomena we see in the West right now is that in many cases, men and women operate under divergent belief systems.

It’s quite odd, when you think about it. Most places, at most points in history, men and women operate under the same belief system, and agree on the same tenets. Usually that belief system is a religion, like Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Shinto.

But in the absence of religion, other causes come to fill this space by inspiring a new form of religious belief or fervor. Any time something has an -ism attached to its name, it stands a reasonable chance of coming to occupy religious-level importance to people.

One such example is feminism.

Feminism has reached a degree in the West where non-believers are immediately ‘othered’ by the more hardcore adherents of the philosophy. It has its own truths, like the wage-gap and ‘rape culture’, that are immune to facts and statistics and have moved beyond scientific falsifiability. And it engenders a particularly combative relationship between the sexes.

The purpose of this site is not to either support or combat feminism; feminism comes and goes through history, and is a perpetual feature of advanced, wealthy, safe societies. The purpose of this site is to give you useful tools to make better life decisions.

And the one we’ll talk about today is this: should you ever date a girl who subscribes to feminism... or any other -ism diametrically opposed to your own beliefs?

What to Do When She Wants to Reschedule

In today’s video, on what I’m calling the ‘half-flake’ (basically, any time you have a date set up with her but she says she has to reschedule or otherwise says she can’t make it but still wants to see you), I cover a scenario with Varoon Raja of Girls Chase Podcast fame.

In this instance, Varoon was out to visit in California when he met a girl and really hit it off with her, only for her to text him later to reschedule their date.

But he only had a limited amount of time in town, and here was this girl tossing him the half-flake. So he came to me to brainstorm what to do next.

Here’s the video: