Dating

Be Intriguing. Be Memorable.


What should your first impression be like in order to get a girl to be excited enough to text you back?

We tend to think we need to be the most attractive guy to a girl the first time we meet and create an undeniable connection in order to get her to be excited enough to respond back, but in reality, these things can actually scare girls off and rarely cause things to pan out like you would expect them to.

Over the years I’ve come to learn that you shouldn’t focus too much on first impressions or try to achieve too much too early, because it isn’t the most powerful way to stand out.

At the end of the day, women are over saturated with different messages from different guys, and all of their feelings of attraction tend to blur together into one big conglomeration, until they can no longer tell you apart from that other guys. Girls just have way too many options, and your being attractive almost always gets lost amidst all of that.

intriguing and memorable

So if you want to stand out, don’t try to be the most attractive guy of the bunch; just find a way to intrigue her and be memorable.

If you can do those two things well, you can then focus on what you will do the next time you see her rather than stress out about being Superman. This is how you best handle a first impression: by not overdoing it!

Let’s face it: girls have major ADD when it comes to stimulating interactions with guys, and while this seems at first to work against our interests, you’ll find that the best path forwards is acceptance and then to politely sidestep the mosh-pit and set up your interactions so they are as crisp as they can get. Play along with this aspect of their psyche and try not to get too upset by it, just play along for now, and work to develop a simple strategy.

4 Dos and 5 Don'ts for Interracial Dating


Interracial dating is a topic on the minds of many people these days, and definitely a social topic that’s come more and more to the forefront of our culture. I predict that most men in the West will have had at least one romantic encounter with a girl of a different race within the next 20 years.

interracial dating

So how does a man go about handling interracial dating the right way? It is this question that I’ll be looking to answer in this post. I’m going to cover the biggest dos and don’ts in terms of your approach and execution of interracial dating.

And I want to preface all of the information that you’ll find in this post by saying that these dos and don’ts are geared toward interracial dating in the West.

Although I’ve done my fair share of interracial dating around the globe, I am focusing on the dynamic in the West because I think it’s the most nuanced.

Moreover, since masculine-feminine roles are more traditional in other parts of the world, as long as you present yourself as gentlemen with strong masculine values and some level of substance, women of nearly any race will welcome your approach and at least give you a chance to show what you have to offer.

Next Level Seduction Pt. 1: Showing R-Selection


Note from Chase: this is a solid article from Colt on highlighting lover qualities and downplaying provider qualities to up your odds and better your outcomes with women. However, I do want to note that the way Colt's applying r/K selection theory here is based on the pickup community repurposing of the theory, rather than its ecological definition, which differentiates between r- and K-selected species by traits like rapid growth vs. slow growth rather than between different individuals within the same species employing differing intrapsecific mating strategies, as is done in some pickup circles where the term “r-selected” is used as a standin for “lover” and “K-selected” as a standin for “provider.” Obviously, if you take the path of the lover, this will not help your children reach maturity any faster than those of providers, nor will women birth you large litters of offspring any more consistently than they otherwise would. Clarification out of the way, on with the article...!


We spend a lot of time on this site covering a wide array of topics: from mindsets, to fundamentals, to esoteric social observations, to process. And although we do have some quality posts on advanced topics, I thought that it was time to dedicate a series of posts to deep seduction topics – which I am naming “Next Level Seduction”.

And the first up in this roster of posts is R-Selection. For people reasonably well-steeped in the pickup community, R-Selection should be a fairly familiar term to you.

For those of you who don’t know what R-Selection is: it’s the single most important factor to determining whether or not a girl will sleep with you quickly, how sexually open she will be with you, and whether or not she will be upset if she knows about – or even sees you with – other girls.

r-selection

So, is R-Selection important? Yeah, it’s kind of important. So today I’m going to talk about what R-selection is and how to demonstrate it to women.

Meeting and Dating Submissive Women


Meeting a woman who will follow your lead, take care of you, and maybe even cook a delicious meal every once in a while is the dream for most men.

submissive women

However, with the direction that social dynamics are heading in the West, this is a dream that is slipping away from the hands of most men. So how do you find submissive women? What’s it like to date a woman who will go out of her way to please you? And why is it so satisfying to have this kind of woman for most men?

These are the questions that I will be tackling today.

4 Example Conversations: Friendly, Sexual, and 2 More


example conversationsIn a previous article (“Do You Lead Conversations… Or Leave Others Hanging?”) I explained some different styles of conversation.

In this article I’m going to go into each type of conversation a little more in-depth, showing you examples and otherwise generally walking you through them so you can get a better picture of what the different types of conversation look like:

  • Friends
  • Casual Sex
  • Spontaneous
  • Finding Out More

Which one you pick for any given situation all depends on what you’re looking for.

How to Have Safe Sex with Women You've Just Met


safe sexIn this article, I will share some advice on how to have literally safe sex. “Safe sex” does not only mean knowing how to avoid STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) or unwanted pregnancies – there are also many more risks out there to be aware of.

Now, I hope I will not scare you away from seducing women – that is not my purpose. In most cases, casual sex does not lead to any dramatic consequences, but, very rarely, they do happen. In this post I will share some advice that will reduce the risk of any negative consequences from having casual sex.

Again, most of the time, you will be fine. Serious consequences from having casual sex occur rarely, yet they do happen, and if you have forgotten to read this post, you may regret it later. Fact is, this post might not be the most exciting to read, but it will cover some simple tools that allow you to have a lot of fun without worrying.

Keeping It Simple for Planning Great Dates


I can recall with distinct clarity a time in my life when I thought it was a must that you go all out when planning a first date. I’d heard it from my mother, read it in magazines and books, saw it on television, and even heard it from the horse’s mouth. Yes, even the women I’d known as friends or romantic interests were telling me I needed to pony up and make that first date as extravagant as possible!

simple dates

However, the real way to make a great first impression has absolutely nothing to do with the activity itself or the amount of money you spend – it’s all about:

  1. Your fundamentals, such as your style of clothing and voice and body language

  2. The actual interaction itself, your conversation skills, and how well you are able to lead her

  3. Your ability to hit escalation windows and pick up on opportunities to move things forward

So as Ricardus taught us, you really can go “From Street to Bed in a Snap”, and that most certainly does not require an 8-hour date at an amusement park or a $100 dinner.

Anatomy of a Failed Date


I found myself seated several evenings ago next to a young couple who were obviously on a first date. The girl was thin and okay-looking, though she’d lopped her hair off into a not-very-attractive medium-length boy cut, while the man was tall and lanky with a somewhat awkward accent I couldn’t quite place, but otherwise not too bad. She was dressed more fashionably than he was, her in a frilly white button down shirt, while he seemed to just be wearing a standard t-shirt or polo shirt.

My ears perked up because it was obvious from the moment I sat down that the guy had some game; what I’m always curious of in these types of situations, though, is, “How much?”

As it turned out, the guy had just enough game to get the girl extremely excited about him... before running the date straight into a concrete wall.

failed date

And that’s what I want to talk about today, because the things this guy did right and the ones he did wrong are something I see lots of newer guys making in their dates and interactions, and ones I certainly made a lot myself early on.

Because it often isn’t the “grabbing her interest and exciting her” part guys fail at; it’s all the stuff that comes after that.

Are There No Second Chances with Women?


second chancesA reader writes in, asking the following questions:

”Chase,

I’ve read several of your articles, and I can relate to quite a bit of what you say. However, it seems to me that in your scenarios, the guy is always the one who is at fault. It’s as though the girl is fully functional, prepared to choose who she is interested in and whether or not the guy fits in to one of her categories,  I guess robotic in a way. What I’m trying to get at mainly is the no second chance with women idea. Like if you don’t move fast enough she is gone for good. Is it really the case that the guy has to do everything right or else he is out? This perplexes me as we live in a society where equal opportunity for race, genders, and sexuality is at the forefront. In the corporate world and in the military, women are continually given more and more power/leadership/etc. They are no longer viewed as the traditional queen role from what I see. In this respect, why must the guy solely be the one to make things happen fast, take her as his lover before she flees to the next guy, and so on.

Perhaps I have read your writings incorrectly, but your advice (though as I said much of it rings true with me) seems to put the vast majority of the burden on the guy’s shoulders.

Also, let’s say that I screwed it up with a chick. I took her as my lover, but then later decided she was no longer interested. Walked away, realized I made a mistake. Apologized a couple weeks later, she says she has moved on to someone else. Your principles seem to be true here at first, but when she blames me for the fallout, then comes to the bar that night and makes out with me, only to run off and go kiss on some guy’s cheek, and give all sorts of mixed signals thereafter, things get hazy. No second chances, but I’ll make out with you? It just doesn’t click with me that anyone has all of this figured out. Life isn’t black and white, I don’t think.

I would appreciate your reply!”

So, there are a lot of interesting questions and themes in here worth addressing:

  • Are there no second chances with women?
  • Is it all on the man to make things happen?
  • What about equality?
  • Why do women send mixed signals?
  • Why do women flirt if they don’t want you?

I’m not really going to talk about the other bullets here – I addressed the “do/should guys REALLY have to do EVERYTHING?” question here a few weeks ago: “What Role Should Women Play in the Mating Game?” I’ll throw a quick bone to that one though because I have a couple more things to say on it you should find interesting. The third bullet is addressed in that post, and the fourth and fifth in these two: “Mixed Signals from a Girl: What These Mean” and “The Paradox of the Flirty Girl.”

Let’s talk about second chances though, because that’s one it seems like a lot of guys want to know about, and it’s worth discussing for sure.

12 Traits All Boring, Unsexy Nice Guys Have in Common


nice guysIn “How to Use Astrology with Girls", Balla puts in a request in the comments section:

Yo Chase, I think you should make an article about un sexy friendly guy traits. Like how you mention not to hug because it’s platonic, sending girls pictures/asking, laughing or smiling to much and a few other things guys might not know what they’re doing that are very hard to detect. You just point out all the negative mannerisms and characteristics and tell us what we should do instead. I think it’ll be a great article.

I thought this would be both a fun article to do, and one that hopefully will point out to some guys some harmful thinking they might have going on, and things they’re doing with girls that they’re shooting themselves in the feet with.

So, here goes... 12 traits that all boring, unsexy nice guys have in common.

Syndicate content