Dating | Girls Chase

Dating

How to Screen for a Wife and Mother

screen for a wife
Beyond dates and girlfriends, what should you look for in a wife? 6 things: genes, background, personality, beliefs, age, and life goals.

Bit of a departure from our usual fare, but commenting on “Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with the West”, Jimbo asks:

What kind of girl and where to find it? Now what I want is a girl who isn’t too keen on working or a career, because: 1) I don’t see myself changing diapers or nurturing babies and little children except on rare necessary occasions, 2) if she’s gonna do all that with seven or more kids, keep the house tidy, and put food on the table, she obviously has to not work. Basically I’d just do the providing and the steering of the ship, and she’d take care of the nurturing and keeping the ship tidy.

But besides wanting the girl to be markedly younger than I am and be somewhat malleable and a follower (at least to me), I still don’t have a clear picture for what kind of girl to look for for that role. Do I cradle-rob one from high school? Or take a high school dropout because I’ll be sure she won’t want a career? But at the same time, isn’t it better to have a mother with some academic literacy to keep up with the kids’ education? Your thoughts on this one would be much appreciated.

So, today, we’ll be talking about picking a wife.

I will kick off by recommending you always have you wife-screening (or, alternately, mother-of-my-children screening) default to ‘on’. The chief two reasons are to not miss great girls, and to not get trapped by the wrong girls.

Getting trapped is what happens to most men who don’t default to ‘on’ with their wife-screening. Which is the majority of men. Most men say, “Ah, I’ll never get married,” or, “Maybe I’ll get married, but it won’t be until years and years from now,” and then they meet a girl they kind of dig, date her for a while, and marry her (see: “Why People Settle Down: The 3-Step Settling Curve”). All the while they’ve never actually screened her, and she may not be a good fit for marriage with them (or marriage with anyone).

Missing great girls is what happens when a guy meets a girl he clicks with, but fails to realize what a find she is because he doesn’t screen her right away, and so doesn’t push as hard as he could have to be with her, and ultimately doesn’t get her. She might’ve been the perfect wife for you (or at least a top flight girlfriend), but some other guy gets to date her now because you let her go too easily.

If your heart is twisted up in knots and you’re screaming, “No Chase! I never want to be married! Don’t say it!”, well, I urge you to read on anyway. Forewarned is forearmed. And you might just find you’re less likely to fall into a marriage than most men who swear they don’t want it and will never do it (the majority of whom eventually marry despite their protests – though, because they are unprepared for it, their marriages tend to be much more on the girls’ terms instead of on their own).

Should You Have Sex with Prostitutes?

should you do prostitutes
To pay for sex or not? What are the benefits to your game (and life)... And what are the risks?

A few years back, on my article about pornography addiction, a reader named John Jones asked about prostitution:

Chase,

Great article. I do have a major problem. Every few months I get a prostitute. I find that paying $300 for an hour of a blowjob and sex is a good deal but I know I shouldn’t be doing this.

Can you please write an article about prostitution? Or give me some advice. I read a lot of your writings, and I gotta admit, I aspire to be like you and think the way you do. You really do have it together, brother.

Thanks.

All right.

So, let me say before I get into this, there are a lot of men with entrenched, emotional opinions about this issue within the manosphere on the Internet.

Some of these guys love prostitutes, and view any advice against using prostitutes as a personal attack. They see it either as an attempt to undermine their freedom / control them by taking prostitutes away or making their patronage unacceptable (or illegal)... Or they view criticism as a personal attack that undermines their personal value or status as men.

Others of these guys hate prostitutes, and view them as dirty, degenerate, and/or disgusting, and/or view the men who patronize prostitutes as pathetic or weak.

I’m going to come at this article from a different angle.

I’m here neither to condemn nor absolve. Instead, I’m going to talk with you about what I have seen, again and again, repeatedly, among the various groups of men who use prostitutes, and the effects (both good and bad) prostitution can have on men.

Tactics Tuesdays: Over-the-Top Romanticness

over-the-top romanticness
To save a failed open or a stalled date, use ‘over-the-top romanticness’. It’ll put a smile on her face and reset the tone of the courtship.

Here is a fun little technique, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

It’s what I dub ‘over-the-top romanticness’. While something of a niche tactic, it is fun, and it provides a bit of a resistance-buster.

With this behavior, you can melt the resistance of otherwise-icy girls... And you do so in a way that gets you having a lot of fun as well (so no matter how she responds, you end up in a better mood).

This is a tactic that opens up ‘negotiations’ with girls, which means (if you’re a half-decent ‘negotiator’) you can carve out a shot with girls you might otherwise not have access to.

Further, it serves as a ‘get out of jail free’ card for those situations where you thought you might have blown it, broke the spell, or otherwise flubbed your chances with a girl.

First, I’m going to show you what this is. Then, I’m going to show you how (and when) to use it.

Online Pick-Up: The Full 2017 Guide to Getting Dates Online

online pick up
Picking up girls online works different from meeting them in real life. From how you frame yourself to when to seed the date, it’s another game.

If you’ve been reading Girls Chase for a while, you’ll have noticed a lot of articles by Chase and other contributors talking about online pick-up: message writing, Facebook pick-up, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and broad online dating related topics such as profile pictures and other details.

However, every day we see new websites, dating apps, and new social networking apps; we also see old apps/websites getting new features. All this impacts online pick-up, and sometimes it’s hard to adapt in stride with the growth of these platforms. Luckily, even though the tech evolution has changed the medium of dating, the principles of seduction remain the same!

In this article, using an extremely pragmatic approach, I’m going to cover what it means to use online pick-up. We’ll go over some basic concepts that don’t change over time. Then we’ll analyze four guidelines that you should always keep in mind during your online approaches and see how we can adapt this to the tech evolution.

To tie it all together, we’ll show you how to formulate a proper process for your online pickup.

Finally, I’ll share a word about the worthiness of doing online approaches, even if I end up writing a whole article about the relationship between the seducer’s role and technology.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

5 Things Every Guy Should Do Before Inviting a Girl Over to His Place

inviting a girl over
It’s the end of the date and she’s come back to yours. How do you up the odds she ends up in bed, and not leaving early?

It’s the end of the date, and things seem to be going well.

You made all the right moves, she laughed at all your jokes, the night is winding down, and she hasn’t checked her phone once (OK, maybe once when you went to the bathroom).

You knew this moment was coming… and now is the time.

“Hey... you said you like white wine, right? I have a bottle back at my place. Want to come over for a glass or two?”

You hold your breath… and she says yes. “Score!!!” you think, giving yourself a pat on the back.

Walking up to your door, she’s giving you all the right signs. Her eyes are lit up and she can’t stop smiling at you.

But when you walk inside and sit down on the couch… things seem to cool off a bit. She’s a little icier – somehow more distant.

After about 20 minutes of small talk (and half a glass of white wine), out of nowhere she looks at her phone and says, “Oh crap, I forgot I have to wake up REALLY early tomorrow... maybe we can do this another time?”

Has this ever happened to you? Well, you’re not the only one.

So, why do women do this? If the date is going so well, why would she get so icy when things are supposed to be heating up? Even if there’s plenty of attraction, emotional connection, and things have escalated physically, a dwelling in disarray can really throw a woman off kilter!

Today, I’m going to show you why what you have in your home can help you avoid hearing the words “I forgot I have to wake up early” ever again.

How Important is It to Sleep with Her on the First Date?

important first date
Do you need to sleep with every girl on the first date? The answer: no, but it helps. Sometimes a lot.

Often enough we’ll get someone on the Girls Chase forums who, after following the GC model of “move faster,” will begin to question the validity of said model.

Usually it’s because he finds the majority of chicks he meets up with won’t sleep with him on the first date... or, when he does go for the first-date lay, he crashes, burns, and never hears from her again, no matter how much he persists. Usually his inquiries are focused on women of higher quality (more beautiful or popular) and he suspects they aren’t prone to sleeping with men quickly.

Well, that’s actually true – beautiful girls with high self-esteem are much less likely to sleep around, as they’ve learned from a young age just how in-demand they are and how easily they can rope men in to relationships without having to give up sex.

However, this doesn’t change the fact that these women will have sex with you on a first date/meeting. Not only is it possible, it’s better, because the quicker you sleep with her, the more likely she is to date you, and not those other dudes. We will answer why in this article.

Now, this is important: to most naturals (like myself), it isn’t really about strategy – it’s about desire. When you ask us why it’s important to sleep with a girl on the first date, the answer is “because I want to sleep with her.” To understand this mindset, divorce yourself from strategic, categorical thinking for a moment.

You see a girl with a nice ass, busty tits, or a beautiful face – you want to have sex with her, without a doubt. Why would you NOT want to have sex with her as quickly as possible? This thought is in fact a much higher order of frame and masculine thinking than the “how do I keep her or seem most dominant?” mindset, even if it seems simpler or more primal. It’s rooted firmly in the man’s desire (i.e., your frame).

On a slightly more academic level, I addressed this question of lay speed in my article on moving fast without rushing. My thesis was simple – because time is irrelevant to women, why not move fast?

If a woman feels sexually or emotionally connected (or both), she will have sex with you quickly.

Thirty minutes after meeting you, an hour into the first date, or without even a first date and straight to your house, etc. (also, for clarification, a first date can also include the first time you meet her out. Basically, the first time you have any significant chance of sleeping with her, be it at a bar, coffee shop, or a predetermined meeting)

The only higher-tier counterargument to this mindset that I can surmise, and one I’ve seen a few times, is if it takes you longer to sleep with a girl, that ensures her chances of cheating are lessened, because if it was hard for YOU to get her, then imagine how hard it will be for those OTHER guys. Well, we’ll cover that one, too.

However, many guys still wonder why it’s important that you sleep with her on the first date or meeting.

But first we need to address the primary question.

How to Get a Girlfriend in the Next 2 Weeks

how to get a girlfriend
To get a girlfriend in 2 weeks, you pick your target, go where she is, be flirty and social, and go for the close. But that’s just Step 1.

You can just picture it: that cute girl with a trim waist, a lovely laugh, and long, silky hair. How good it feels when she presses up against you and snuggles into you. How perfect her eyes are. How soft her body is. And she's yours, and she wants to be yours, and nobody else's.

In 2004, I (Chase Amante) sat down to figure out how to get a girlfriend. Because at the time I didn't know. This venture took me on an amazing journey... And I've dated some truly incredible women along the way. But more than that, I've been able to help tons of men do the same. Since I launched GirlsChase.com in 2008, I've helped thousands of men find awesome girlfriends. Many of those girls have even turned into wives.

So here, today, in distilled form, is my guide to getting that girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend - this is the guide to getting an amazing one. And we're going to do it all in just two weeks. Because, after all, life is short. Why should you and her need to remain apart any longer than necessary?

We've broken this article down into three sections. You can skip ahead to any of them (or their subsections) using the Table of Contents to the left.

Explanations aside, let's get going and get you an awesome girlfriend.

4 Things Men Do that Sabotage Their Dating Lives

sabotage dating lives
Men sabotage their own dating lives all the time. 4 of the biggest saboteurs: kissing and telling, pleading, wrong sex talk, and moralizing.

When you go out to meet girls, you may unconsciously be sabotaging your chances without even knowing it. Men do it all the time.

Truth is, you can have fantastic looks and be able to get the ladies insanely worked up, but there are some simple things that can negate even the best game – things you can fix with a little effort and rewiring.

In my first article for Girls Chase, I’d like to share a primer... on the biggest obstacles I see guys toss into their own paths.

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating

hard target dating
In Part I of the series, we look at the hard target dater: the man who can’t be suckered by friend-seekers, flirts, diggers, or climbers.

In the excellent self-defense book Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours, Geoff Thompson uses the term ‘hard target’ to describe someone who’s a difficult mark for attackers. If you’ve read my article on how to be street smart, you know what I’m talking about (and if you liked that article, you should probably grab Geoff’s book). Essentially, you can turn yourself into someone the bad people just don’t want to mess with.

This article kicks off a three-part series on becoming a hard target not for assault or mugging, but in your romantic and social life. How do you not get suckered by those who seek to sucker?

In each installment of the series, I’ll address a specific social arena where men get duped. The areas we’ll examine are:

  1. Dating: when you first meet a girl, get to know her, and take her out on dates (this article)

  2. Relationships: once you’re already together with a girl, in a romantic relationship with her (next article)

  3. Social Life: non-romantic encounters in the social arena: friends, acquaintances, people with connections (third article)

We’ll take a look at why people will try to bilk you, what kinds of people will do this, and why they try things with some people but not others. And finally, we’ll talk about becoming a hard target these people leave alone, and can’t crack if they try.

Tactics Tuesdays: Giving Gifts and Offering Compliance

giving gifts
You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.