Dating

Everything I Know About Race and Dating Girls


My friend had just told me that he saw the girl I liked with another guy.

“I don’t get it man! I know that she likes me.”

“Bro, it’s because of this,” he said, pointing to his dark skin.

I responded saying, “What are you talking about man?”

“It’s because you’re black bro; girls like her only date white guys.”

race and dating

Until that point I had not looked at dating through a racial lens. But after that day I started to become more “aware” of race and dating. I started “seeing” that white guys had it easier when it came to getting girls. It didn’t matter that I had dated many different races of girls before. It didn’t matter that I ended up dating the girl that we were talking about. That conversation had given me the ultimate excuse: that if a girl didn’t like me, it was because of my race.

It took me years to get away from that particular train of thought. It still creeps in from time to time, but as soon as I catch myself thinking like that now I cut that line of reasoning. So I will go ahead and answer the question that is on a lot of your minds right now.

Does race matter when it comes to dating? Yes.

Does it matter as much as people think it matters? No.

In this post, I will answer common questions I get from guys about race and dating; some advice for getting over racial insecurities and some stories from my journey.

Personal Standards for the Moral Seducer


One of the most destructive limiting beliefs that holds back many men is that having a promiscuous lifestyle in which one sleeps with beautiful women seems somehow morally wrong. To them, it seems that there’s something wrong with being attracted to someone and desiring passionate sex with them.

personal standards

It sounds silly when I put it like this, yet, unfortunately, in our minds this limiting belief rarely takes form as a simple, straightforward statement like this. If it did, getting rid of it would be easy.

No, instead it’s usually much more deceptive, and the result is that we find ourselves ashamed of our desires... we restrain ourselves from openly hitting on her and being sexual because we are afraid of public scrutiny, and when things don’t go our way, like she doesn’t reciprocate the attraction, just like a child who did something wrong, we feel the need to run back to our safe place.

The reasons why so many of us developed this unconscious belief that being sexual is wrong are diverse, but in most cases it boils down to social pressure to meet some very outdated norms.

But what if instead we operated in a manner so that deep down we knew that we were doing the right thing by trying to seduce her; by showing our sexual side? What if we knew that by leading the interaction towards sex we were also leading ourselves towards mutual happiness (or at least a happier state)?

Well,

Let me tell you that it’s liberating to play your part in the dance of seduction knowing consciously and unconsciously that you’re doing the right thing. Even more so, it does open up new doors, especially in social game.

Sadly, I can’t give you a surefire, step-by-step approach on how to overcome this limiting belief and instill in you a new one – every situation is unique and every man’s journey towards this goal will be different.

What I can do, is set you in the right direction by helping you establish a set of personal rules that you believe in: ones that will make sure that as long as you will abide them you will be true to yourself and in your mind you will be doing the right thing.

Why Your “Connection” with Her is Just Your Fantasy


Place: London
Time: 6:00pm

It was a Friday night in Leicester Square. I had a book in hand and was going to do some reading while doing coffee shop game. When I walked in I noticed a Mediterranean beauty sitting with a couple of her friends.

I walked up to her and introduced myself. From the moment I sat down I felt an instant connection with the girl. Our conversation hopped around topics like economics, adventure, and romance. Her friends sat there watching as we talked for forty minutes. I started to feel like what we were experiencing was special.

connection

She had to leave to attend a play, and she asked me for my name so she could invite me on Facebook. Wrapped up in the moment, I gave it to her without taking her number, and she said she couldn’t wait to see me again. We hugged, and she went off into the night.

I walked home in a joyful glee, excited, thinking about all the possibilities. I kept thinking about how easy and effortless it was to talk to her. I started to think that I would stop going out with other girls I was dating and focus only on her.

“I have a real connection with this girl,” I thought to myself.

When I got home, I quickly logged into Facebook. My heart sank. There was no friend request from her. I refreshed the page fifteen times and still nothing.

“I thought we had a connection...”

How to Turn Flakes into Dates


You meet her at a coffee shop or the library and have a great interaction; she was laughing at all your jokes and she seemed excited about meeting up with you again. You leave feeling like you and her shared a connection and you are excited about the potential of meeting up again.

You shoot her a text a couple days later, asking her out for drinks. You glance at your phone a couple hours later, still no response. Eventually, you realize that she’s just another flakey number.

flake

Secrets of Dating High Quality Women


Imagine that you are reading this article on the top floor of a high-end bookstore just a few blocks down from a prestigious law school. There is a lot natural light and the smells of cedar furniture and rain pleasantly tease your senses.

high quality women

As you glance out the window into the courtyard, you see a woman hurrying in the front door. Your jaw literally drops. She’s gorgeous.

You understandably decide that meeting her is far more important than reading my article and decisively rise to intercept her.

Having this sort of decisiveness is key if you are to even have a shot with a girl of this caliber.

And, though as of now you only suspect it, later you will learn that this woman is actually your dream girl.

She is mature, loving, and has no unmanageable hang-ups or neurosis. She also has easy access to an almost endless supply of high quality mates, her finances are taken care of, and she is popular and well-liked.

Yet, decisiveness alone is unlikely to win you this dame by itself. Even chutzpah will only get you so far.

Sure, by setting a sexy frame and being bold enough to ask for investment you may be able to become her lover, at least for a short period of time – but what if you want a more substantial relationship with her? What if you want to keep her around for more than the typical 3 months that a well-managed FWB lasts? What if you even want to keep her around for longer than even the typical 2 years of a long-term relationship?

What if you want to keep her around INDEFINITELY, without just counting on luck for that to happen?

If that is the case, then this article is for you.

How to Set Up a Date with a Girl in 5 Steps


Today I will share some advice on how to set up a date with a girl... for all of you who like to grab phone numbers and have dates with the women you meet.

Now I know there are a lot of different systems on how to set up dates (which is the topic of today), and some might differ from mine on different levels.

How to Look Photogenic in Online Dating Photos: 6 Steps


A sexy photo is without a doubt the Holy Grail of online dating, and I’m not even close to overstating it. Regardless how sophisticated your online dating profile or how cool your byline in Tinder is, regardless how intriguing and innovative your opening message or how smooth your text game is, if you don’t have at least decent photos, you’ll be fighting with one hand tied behind your back.

photogenic

On the other hand, if you do have great photos (a single great one can be enough), you can piggy-back on it and get results despite major flaws in your profile, text game, etc.

For example, when experimenting with OkCupid a couple of years ago, at one time I had a profile that said:

On A Typical Friday Night: “Cover myself in paint, confetti, and perform ancient shaman rituals while “Highway to Hell” is blasting in the background.”

Followed by a “Do NOT under any circumstances message me…”

And I would still get unsolicited messages from women. Admittedly, those weren’t the most beautiful women in the world (usually not too shabby either though), but nonetheless, it does say a lot about how powerful great photos are.

Oh, and the first time I’ve experimented with Tinder I was pretty sure that the app was broken or something, because after a ~10 – 15 minute blitz that I did while waiting for my buddy to pick me up from the train station, I had the phone buzzing the whole day from being matched with someone (and several messages too).

I’m sure at this point you’re really keen to see the photo that’s been so freakishly effective and here it is:

photogenic

As you can see, statistically this photo should be a flop:

  • Looking straight into the camera (in reality I was looking just above the lens).

  • Smiling.

  • No pets / cool activities / cropped-out women.

  • Even clothes are not that impressive (other than noticeably good fit that emphasizes shoulders and color contrast to match with my natural features).

Despite that, it worked like magic. Which is to say two things:

  1. A solid photographer & looking photogenic is enough to get great results from online dating.

  2. My results were quite a ways from being optimal. Imagine if I knew any better then and stacked the odds further by using other strategies…

What to Do When a Girl is Late for a Date


late for a dateOn our discussion boards, a member named killerman has run into a situation where girls are changing date times last minute, or otherwise being late for a date. Here’s what he had to say about this:

right there’s one thing that’s really getting on my nerves these days, and it’s girls agreeing to a time but then trying to change it last minute, then being late. it’s really getting on my nerves, but the thing is how do I express it without coming across as an asshole? i understand that sometimes things crop up but sometimes it seems they do it just because they feel like it. i cant remember a girl turned up to a date on time so maybe it’s their way of testing out guys? like maybe they do it on purpose to piss us off then see if we’re genuine by expressing our discontent?

What killerman wants to know here is how to express your disapproval to a girl at having her change times or be late.

What I’d like to use his problem for is to answer, in addition to his own question, a slightly broader one: what do you do when a girl is late for a date?

Do you get mad... or storm off... play it cool... or hang in there and wait... or, do you do something else?

How Politics Drive Women’s Sexuality


Hi everyone. Hope you are all doing great. In today’s post I will be discussing how different types of society affect our sexual behavior.

politics and sexuality

We will start off talking about how social democratic/socialist societies do so, and then we’ll move on to analyze how sexual behavior is affected by conservative capitalist societies.

It’s worth pointing out that I am not vouching for any form of political organization over another; this post is totally neutral; we’ll be talking about both the pros and cons of each. Keep in mind that the topic is how these societies affect our sexual behavior. So anything else related to capitalism or socialism is irrelevant.

I hope this post can give you some ideas on how things are and help you better understand how society affects people’s sexual behavior.

Why Tinder is Still the Best Dating App Out There


Today’s the last day of the launch of my complete “get laid on Tinder” system; tonight at midnight, the price goes up forever. To top off this even with a bang, I’ve put together a detailed look at Tinder – and why, despite some new up-and-comers in the dating app space, Tinder remains the crown jewel of all dating apps.


Long ago, when a man wanted to meet a woman he was interested in – one who was not only fun and interesting, but also very attractive – he has just had to rely on luck or subject himself to the frenzied and unreliable environments of bars and clubs.

And then, at the beginning of the turn-of-the-century, some smart people who wanted to take advantage of the Internet age created online dating websites. They wanted to use the potential that the Internet had of connecting people locally, statewide, nationally, and globally, and apply that potential to a romantic context. They wanted to be able to bring people together and be a conduit, a spark of people falling in love with mates who they would have never otherwise been exposed to.

But online dating added setbacks: it was stigmatized; most sites were poorly designed; and after a while, the hot girls found that there were just far too many droves of thirsty, desperate men trying to get any kind of female contact or acknowledgment that they possibly could – which often manifested itself in a deluge of dick pics. And because of this unpleasant realization, they began to vacate the online dating scene and leave it for girls who were truly desperate.

And then… in the late 2000s… there came the app revolution.

dating apps

Suddenly you could do everything on your phone. You could check email, play music, and even handle your finances. So it was inevitable that, just like with the outset of the Internet age, someone would take advantage of this revolution in order to bring people together romantically. A few apps tried, but none saw true success until the advent of Tinder in 2012.

Tinder came and swept through the app world. It really put dating apps on the map.

What really got people was its effectiveness and simplicity. You simply look at someone’s photo, see how close you are, and then either swipe yes or no. And if you match, you could message them and potentially meet up.

And the best part was: it was completely anonymous. No one knew that you were on the app. Even people who came across your profile could only see it momentarily unless they matched with you. And if they did not, then you would disappear into oblivion and they would probably forget you soon enough.

dating appsThe icing on the cake: you could use the app from anywhere.

Like most things, in the beginning even Tinder was considered a bit fringe. It was considered – much like its online dating counterparts – for people who were weird or lonely or socially inept or otherwise outside of the norm of society. But slowly… and surely… it became more widespread.

Then in 2013, it started spreading like wildfire. Suddenly, everyone was on it: that girl from work, girls from the university campuses, girls from bars. Finally, something had managed to compel and keep hot, normal, socially adept girls in the online realm.

Now, the app is as ubiquitous as Google maps. Everyone has Tinder. But the best part about it is that it is not online dating. People are not on it to find their soul mate. They are on this king of dating apps for one reason and one reason only: and that is to get laid.

No pretense. No misunderstanding. Even for the women who pretend to be motivated by other reasons, this underlying truth still rings loud and clear.

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