Beyond dates and girlfriends, what should you look for in a wife?
6 things: genes, background, personality, beliefs, age, and life goals.
Bit of a departure from our usual fare, but commenting on “Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with
the West”, Jimbo
asks:
“What kind of girl and where to find it?
Now what I want is a girl who isn’t too keen on working or a career,
because: 1) I don’t see myself changing diapers or nurturing babies and
little children except on rare necessary occasions, 2) if she’s gonna
do all that with seven or more kids, keep the house tidy, and put food
on the table, she obviously has to not work. Basically I’d just do the
providing and the steering of the ship, and she’d take care of the
nurturing and keeping the ship tidy.
But besides wanting the girl to be markedly younger than I am and
be somewhat malleable and a follower (at least to me), I still don’t
have a clear picture for what kind of girl to look for for that role.
Do I cradle-rob one from high school? Or take a high school dropout
because I’ll be sure she won’t want a career? But at the same time,
isn’t it better to have a mother with some academic literacy to keep up
with the kids’ education? Your thoughts on this one would be much
appreciated.”
So, today, we’ll be talking about picking a wife.
I will kick off by recommending you always have you wife-screening
(or, alternately, mother-of-my-children screening) default to ‘on’. The
chief two reasons are to not miss
great girls, and to not get trapped by the wrong girls.
Getting trapped is what happens to most men who don’t default to
‘on’ with their wife-screening. Which is the majority of men. Most men
say, “Ah, I’ll never get married,” or, “Maybe I’ll get married, but it
won’t be until years and years from now,” and then they meet a girl
they kind of dig, date her for a while, and marry her (see: “Why People Settle Down: The 3-Step Settling
Curve”). All the while they’ve never actually screened her,
and she may not be a good fit for marriage with them (or marriage with
anyone).
Missing great girls is what happens when a guy meets a girl he
clicks with, but fails to realize what a find she is because he doesn’t
screen her right away, and so doesn’t push as hard as he could have to
be with her, and ultimately doesn’t get her. She might’ve been the
perfect wife for you (or at least a top flight girlfriend), but some
other guy gets to date her now because you let her go too easily.
If your heart is twisted up in knots and you’re screaming, “No
Chase! I never want to be married! Don’t say it!”, well, I urge you to
read on anyway. Forewarned is forearmed. And you might just find you’re
less likely to fall into a marriage than most men who swear they don’t
want it and will never do it (the majority of whom eventually marry
despite their protests – though, because they are unprepared for it,
their marriages tend to be much more on the girls’ terms instead of on
their own).