Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Do You Only “Think” She’s Out of Your League?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

she's out of my league
Why do you think she’s out of your league? Is it because she really is, or is it because you’ve put her there for no good reason?

Most guys who immerse themselves in pickup theory are looking to date up, not down. They want the women they’ve fantasized about, and they won't settle for less.

That’s why I got into this stuff. I was so incredibly insecure that just talking to a pretty girl would trigger a panic attack. Then if I found the guts to approach a girl (I rarely did), I’d stutter, sweat, and say ridiculous things that made no sense.

I could stare longingly at the beautiful girls, but I had no clue how to capture their attention. And besides, they were out of my league. These girls didn’t hook up with guys like me. They went out with the popular, outgoing guys, not the introverts.

 

Transformation

So as I neared my 30s and really delved into this seduction stuff, it all made sense. It wasn’t that I wasn’t good-looking enough, too short, or too low on the social ladder. I just didn’t understand the women’s point of view. I had no grasp of psychology — theirs or my own.

I spent years reading, watching videos, going out day and night to parties, social events, and did cold approaching at the mall just so I could look into a beautiful girl’s eyes in a way she’d know that I’m used to women like her. It’s no big deal. She’s safe with me.

Where men are primarily attracted to looks, women have much different attraction mechanisms. If you understand female psychology, you can use this to date women you might have considered out of your league.

You Must Fix Your 'Inner Game' (by Doing External Things)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

inner game
"Inner game" is the way you play the game on the inside. Good inner game is crucial – but the way to improve yours is not alone in a room in front of the mirror.

I had a call earlier with our director / casting director Casandra, who is always an absolute joy to talk to. Casandra was pivotal to the filming of my 'get the girl in one date' program One Date & The Dating Artisan, as well as a few other programs we're set to release in the next couple months (including my long-delayed course on personal charisma and a bachelor lifestyle, and another on touch).

On our call we discussed a new project we want to do for this lockdown situation. While we were on it, Casandra told me a rather incredible story of her own about guys she'd encountered who still had a lot of 'inner game' work to do.

The coaching I want to do is one where, rather than have a student on with a coach, then send him out between sessions to practice in the real world with women (which many guys can't do now due to the lockdown), we instead have him alternate between coaching sessions and video 'date' sessions with beautiful girls we've trained to go on these practice dates with guys so they can do what they've covered with the coach despite the lockdown.

Casandra liked the idea and we are at present setting that up (it's still going to be a week or two before I'll be able to tell you more... but if you're interested, you can fill out this form; we'll be in touch as soon as we can say more about it).

Anyway... as we talked about this, Casandra told me a story of her own, that related to the kind of thing we discussed.

A while back, she'd worked with another date coach, named Leo. Leo was helping a group of U.K. students who were 'below beginner' in romantic experience. They had very little experience with women, although Casandra said they were all "nice people, not weird or bad, they all looked normal, some were even handsome."

Leo decided to put these guys into one-on-one interactions with beautiful women to acclimate them to women like that. Casandra recruited the girls, and also joined herself.

Then came go-time. When the students started talking to the women normally, just in a normal person-to-person interaction, everything was fine.

But then, Leo told each student to imagine that he had approached his girl, that she liked him, and now he was talking to her. After Leo told the guys this, Casandra cocked her head a bit and smiled at the guy she was paired up with. Just a very cute, warm little smile (she showed me this smile. Totally harmless smile).

And her guy started crying.

A number of the guys started crying.

The moment they were asked to imagine these were girls they'd approached, they just lost it, and started bawling.

Casandra said she was shocked at the response. And honestly, while I have been in this business for 12 years, I was also a little surprised to hear this. Probably because many of the guys we get on GC are not total hard case beginners... many of them are guys who have a little dating success under their belts already and just want to up their results.

And I will say -- even when I was totally socially isolated myself (in my teens), I still had beautiful girls flirting with me or pursuing me (because I did other stuff to seem cool and attract women in). So I always felt 'entitled' to hot women.

Hearing about guys crying when faced with beautiful women they were told to imagine they'd approached got me thinking about this whole 'broken inner game' thing.

Because certainly, if a guy is starting out in a place like that, his inner game needs work.

Set a Sexual Frame by Blaming Women for Being Freaks

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

set a sexual frame
To get a girl in bed quickly, it’s vital to set a sexual frame early. These one-liners are designed to do just that, by blaming women for being sex-crazed maniacs.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today I will share some basic one-liners that can help transition your interaction into sex talk, or at least help set a sexual frame with a girl. We all understand the value of sexualizing your interactions with women in terms of moving things toward sex.

Specifically, the benefits are:

  • You get her aroused

  • You give the interaction a sexual context, which makes her perceive you as a sexual guy

Remember, women tend to categorize men as either providers or lovers. The provider is just a good guy to keep around, providing resources like wealth, social status, social-climbing opportunities, and networking. Most of these guys get laid rarely, especially if they are lower-end providers. Higher-value providers can get laid often, but not as often as a lover. A lover is the guy women trade sex for sex with, and so he's most likely to get laid easily and quickly.

If you just want to get to the one-liners, jump to the section called “Blaming: Sexual Framing Technique.” Otherwise, if you'd like to gain a better understanding of the core principles involved, read on.

Do You Feel Anxious Around Women? Don’t Let Them See It

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

anxiety is a turn-off
Women are attracted to confidence, and anxiety is the opposite of confidence. So if women don’t find anxiety sexy, but it’s a normal feeling, what can we do about it?

Having recently lost a lover because of anxious thoughts, I figured it would be useful to cover how to address anxiety with women and dating.

While anxiety is a normal human emotion, some people feel it more than others. It’s a terrible weakness to display around a woman and is the opposite emotion from a “turn-on” and sexual excitement.

Think back to your most memorable sexual experiences, if you’ve had some. Was anxiety present? Would anxiety have helped the experience? If yes, did the anxiety make the situation better?

Most likely, your best experiences around women involve no anxiety at all. But if you’ve had experiences that did include anxiety, and I’ve had many, I can attest that these moments become question marks in women’s eyes.

Anxiety, especially if it shows up at critical moments like the first kiss or the first escalation, can ruin your chances to get a woman and keep seeing her.

Men will often experience anxiety and nervousness in critical moments during a seduction:

On the journey of getting better with women, men must train themselves to never feel anxiety around women, particularly in the critical moments mentioned above. As a rule, it’s best to avoid showing any anxiety around a woman you want to be sexual with.

How to Train Your Girlfriend: Long-Term Expectation Setting

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to train your girlfriend
How do you train your girlfriend into the kind of partner you need? The secret is in the expectations you set with her.

We've talked about the importance of establishing expectations before you even begin a relationship with a woman in the past before.

We've also talked about establishing precedent within your relationships, and why this is so vital.

Today I'll be giving you a tactic you can use within already existing relationships to 'train your girlfriend' by setting her expectations of a relationship with you for the long-term.

Once you're able to do this, you'll be able to avoid both minor and major speed bumps later on down the line in relationships that you'd otherwise crash into.

How to Improve Communication Between You and Someone Else

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

how to improve communication
The ability to convey ideas makes the difference between winners and losers. To win at life, learn how to improve your communication, when speaking AND listening.

For most people, learning how to improve communication is the most useful skill they could ever develop. I know because it’s been my primary academic study for nearly 15 years and I've seen the transformative effects in both myself and my clients.

Masterful communication has taken me from an insecure, anxiety-ridden weirdo to a world-traveling author, dating consultant, and life coach. So, yeah, it’s a pretty useful skill.

 

Masterful Communication

Why does someone win a position like the presidency of a country? How does an average Joe pick up a girl three notches hotter than himself? How does a man with a keyboard make a living tapping words into websites?

Communication is powerful. Yet so many of us suck moose balls at it. And we suffer for it.

It’s not just personal relationships that suffer, like bickering husbands and wives. Epic wars are fought and countless millions butchered over systems of belief. Those who most effectively communicate their "rightness" (albeit largely subjective or even straight propaganda) have a distinct advantage.

But more to the point of this article, many people are suffering from small, individual battles with lovers, bosses, brothers, sisters, etc. simply because they’re terrible communicators. So, apart from picking up women or maintaining a healthy balance of power in a relationship, the value of improving communication is priceless when it comes to all aspects of life. Let's go over a few.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Good Lover

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

good lover seduction gambit
To get women in bed fast, adopt a lover’s frame. This gambit accomplishes that with sexual prizing and by displaying your deep understanding of women.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week, we discussed the lover’s frame, what it was, and how it is created. The lover’s frame is different from the provider frame, which involves impressing women with mostly economic resources. Sometimes it gets men laid as a reward for providing for women, but usually, all they may get is a bit of female affection, similar to the friendzone. In best-case scenarios, these men will VERY occasionally get lucky, get laid accidentally, or end up in a relationship, often with a subprime girl, or sometimes with the girl of their dreams.

Back in the day, those relationships likely resulted in marriage, and because of sociocultural factors, those marriages would remain stable. But with today's sexual liberation, this is not the case. Being a provider today is much less likely to be a fruitful mating strategy.

All you do as a provider is pay and provide for little, if anything, in return.

You have a choice: to get political and try to change society, or play the game and calibrate according to the current rules. The latter is the strategy I favor, and sadly, many men hate me for it.

The lover frame allows you to:

  • Get laid like a rockstar if that’s what you want, and enjoy a deeper form of erotic connection with a woman who will respect you as a man, not as a result of your wealth

  • Have better sex, and more quickly

  • Experience less frustration in the seduction process

  • Move from banging like a rockstar to building a relationship with the right girl; you’ll have a relationship that builds upon a sexual connection (and from there, a REAL emotional connection)

So, a win-win more or less.

There are two main effects of a strong lover frame:

  1. You generate desire as a man who can create strong emotional connections. Any gambits that display sexual prizing can work here. Some examples of gambits that accomplish this include the eight types of orgasm gambit, the orgasm control gambit, the tantra gambit, and the therapist gambit.)

  2. You make her feel allowed to act upon her desires. You want to be a man she can allow herself to be sexual with, both socially, but also emotionally (she feels you are the right guy, and you don’t judge her). Low-keyness also helps. Notable gambits here are any that communicate sexual liberalism: the period paradox, the mirror, to name a couple.

Now, what if we can use this knowledge of the lover frame as a gambit itself? This is where it gets interesting.

Poor Men vs. Cheap Men: Women View Them VERY Differently

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

poor man vs cheap man
Being poor can give you certain advantages in the dating game. But if she thinks you’re CHEAP, it’s game over! Here’s how to avoid that “cheap” stink of death.

At the time of the story I'm about to tell, I'd been on a roll for a good month. I had high momentum, pulling girls left and right from day game and having wild, same-night sex pretty consistently. I was in a spectacular groove.

During this wonderful month, my friends and I decided to go out one Friday night. My entire aura was just glowing with sex, and the girls picked up on it. We walked by this tall, skinny-but-busty Chinese girl smoking a cigarette. She stared me down and smiled as I walked by. I broke off from my friends and approached her as they kept walking. She introduced herself, then quickly revealed she’s bisexual, looking for some fun, and was bored waiting for her friends inside the bar. She was out for her friend’s birthday party, hosting out of town friends and showing them the New York City nightlife.

She invited me to meet her friends, and I obliged. Soon after, the birthday girl left, leaving me with my girl and a group of four hot single women. All were 8s and 9s in my book, and three of the five were travelers. Great group logistics. I texted my two wings to meet me at a bar ten minutes away where I led the girls. We all sat at a table and ordered drinks. The waitress asked for a card to hold the tab. As the de-facto leader of the group, I surrendered mine.

Five girls and three guys were having fun and vibing, but my wings weren’t doing the work they should have, and my girl (the alpha of HER group) was getting antsy. To keep the vibe up, I proposed we head to another lounge in a different part of town, closer to my place. The girls discussed this and agreed. My girl was still on the fence because her girls didn’t have guys, but she was following my lead, and things looked promising for an end-of-night pull.

I asked for the bill, and seeing that it was over $100, proposed splitting it. I told the waitress to bring half for me and half for the girls, and this foolish decision killed me for the night!

Long story short, the alpha girl, my girl, was furious that I wasn’t picking up the tab for her friends. When none of the girls nor my friends offered to pay, the birthday girl decided to chip in, which rubbed the alpha wrong even more. “Why should the birthday girl pay?” she said. I immediately realized my mistake and put my card down, paying the tab, but it was already too late.

She stormed off, and in an angry Chinese tirade to her friends, told them to leave my group and go to another bar. I tried to salvage things and restore the vibe, but it was too late. I’d already blown it.

In the end, I came off as cheap to my girl, the alpha lead, and the opportunity was lost.

10 Signs You're Dealing with an Alpha Female

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

alpha female
If you want a loyal, passionate girlfriend, find yourself an alpha female. Or if you want to snag a hottie from a group, you best know how to appease her alpha friend.

An alpha female is a woman in charge of her female group or a group of men AND women. She doesn’t need to be a socialite who is always playing mother hen. Alpha females are not necessarily bitches or mean, controlling women.

You can be in control of yourself and those around you without being "controlling."

We know this about alpha males. They aren’t always the caricature meathead or tyrannical character we imagine when you hear “alpha male.” The best alpha male is very kind, loving, and compassionate. However, alpha males will step up and take charge when they need or want to. In relationships, they are leaders; and in their social circles, they are often leaders as well.

Alpha females are also leaders, usually of their female groups. Some alpha females can also lead men in their social circles, even if it’s from the back. This happens because most women are more refined than most men with their social skills, charisma, and sexuality. Most men are guys, not men. They have penises and play the part of a man, but when it matters, they are eunuchs. They will go full simp and submit to her rule.

Like an alpha male, an alpha female can be the alpha in one scenario and not the alpha in another (e.g., with a different group), as you would need to be an omnipotent god to be the alpha in all scenarios.

If women are alphas, they have certain characteristics. You can tell in which contexts and groups they are considered alphas. There are alpha characteristics and alpha signals to look for in groups. I will cover both.

Why should you care if she is an alpha female? Don’t we want women who will submit to us?

Yes, we want women to submit, but we may not always want submissive women. There is a distinction.

As long as they are absent of toxic traits and aren’t so aggressive or ambitious that they are essentially men, alpha females make the best girlfriends. And they are usually the most interesting women out there.

Tactics Tuesdays: For Resistant Girls, Use This Parting Shot

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

resistant girl parting shot
Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.