How to Have Discreet Sex (and Communicate Discretion)

discreet sexToday I want to discuss to the topic of discretion in seduction. In my opinion, this is one of the most powerful tools a seducer can use to get women.

Being low-key will not only get you laid, it will also allow you to have crazy and discreet sex with women. Is sex really all that we want? I am sure many of you fantasize about dirty sex, or watch dirty porn. Admit it or not, I do not care; all I know is that there is majority here who truly want to do some dirty stuff.

In this article we will cover what being discreet and low-key is all about, and why it works so well in seduction.

In the second section, I’ll give you multiple tools that you can use in different settings to communicate secrecy - and get discreet sex.

Let’s go.

discreet sex

The definition I’m using here for “low-key” is one in which anything of a sexual nature taking place between you and your girl stays between you two - anything of a sexual nature between you and your woman must remain discreet.

This means that:

  • Anything you know about her sexuality must remain confidential

  • Anything she tells you about her sexuality remains confidential

  • Anything you two have done which is of a sexual nature - intercourse, oral sex and even kissing - must remain confidential

In other words, you are her secret lover

Nobody knows you two hooked up; nobody knows what you have done in bed together; nobody knows her deepest sexual secrets.

You are totally and utterly discreet.

Your lips are sealed.

Why Does This Work?

The power lies in the fact that when you are low-key and the woman is aware of this, she will open up to you sexually.

This little thought experiment that I am about to share will probably clear this up for you - and if not, don’t worry... I will add a more detailed overview in a second.

Consider an average-looking man: not good-looking, nor bad-looking... just average. He has average social skills and he is neither attractive nor unattractive – he is just a guy.

Now, consider this man being locked up in a room with a girl. Both of them are well aware of the fact that nobody besides the two of them will ever know what has taken place in that particular room – so whatever happens in this room will be a secret to the outside world.

The man starts touching the woman (physically escalating). The woman is getting really turned on. What do you guys think will happen?

Well, she will most likely have some (discreet) sex with that man. Why is that?

The man’s touching did indeed turn her on, as we know physical escalation is attractive, but she also felt ALLOWED to proceed.

Keep in mind that the man we are talking about is neither attractive nor unattractive; the escalation itself creates a certain desire within the woman to have sex with that man.

Also, because no one will ever find out about what is about to take place in that particular room, the woman doesn’t feel exposed to any social consequences – or sanctions to be more detailed.

As a result she has fewer reasons to “control herself” by holding her desires back - which means she feels more allowed to have her discreet sex with that guy.

However, take these same two people and place them into a public space, where this woman’s friends might be around, and the outcome becomes drastically different - as her actions now expose her to social repercussions. In this case, where discretion is now out the window, she might desire to have sex with this particular man, but as her anti-slut defence is now up, she doesn’t feel allowed to do so.

The takeaway from all this is that, in order to have sex with a woman, a very good rule of thumb to have is this: make her desire having sex with you while also making her feel allowed to do so... by removing pressure and removing social consequences.

What do we see in the thought experiment above?

  1. First of all, women experience a biological desire to have intercourse with a sexually forward and capable (i.e., not awkward or “creepy”) man

  2. But, desire only is not always enough to make a woman have sex with a man

  3. She also needs also to feel “allowed” to do so, in order to express her desire for sex. We know that women have a defence mechanism against being labelled a slut – namely, anti-slut defence. This defence mechanism makes sure that a woman doesn’t allow herself to accept sexual invitation from too many men – in other words, it will protect her from being perceived as loose girl and an easy target. If women are perceived such a way they often take on certain unwanted consequences – i.e., they are recipients of slut shaming. Therefore, women also need to feel “allowed” to have sex with men.

  4. “Allowed” in our case means that a woman is allowing herself to have sex with a particular man. This means that she feels that she will not face any social consequences (i.e., being judged and labelled a slut) as a result of sleeping with him.

  5. The best way for women to feel “allowed” is by being discreetly low-key, because when you successfully are, women have nothing (or at least less) to fear from sleeping with you. Chances are much smaller with a discreet man that anyone will be aware of what has taken place between him and her, reducing the chances that the girl will face any social consequences – and, thus, her reasons and inclinations to resist.

  6. To sum up: anti-slut defence holds women back from having sex even if they desire to have sex with a particular man. However, if nobody will ever find out what has taken place between her and a guy, a woman has nothing to fear anymore and can most safely allow herself to jump into it if she so desires to.

Getting CRAZY Discreet Sex

Being low-key doesn’t only just allow women to have sex with you in situations they might otherwise have had to feign complete disinterest or turn you down, though. It will also, much of the time, allow a girl to be her true sexual self around you - she will open up sexually, and you may just experience some crazy sex.

discreet sex

Women feel much more safer being sexually open with you when you successfully communicate discretion because they know the word won’t spread. It is significantly less risky to do all the serious kinky stuff she’s curious to do with a man who keeps his mouth shut than it is with a man who talks to all his friends about it.

When you are alone with a girl and nobody knows what is taking place, she will let her true inner beast come out.

One important reason behind this is that secrecy creates comfort and trust in a way that doesn’t kill the sexual vibe and tension – in fact, the opposite takes place, and it actually enhances it.

Discretion Creates Attraction

Being low-key makes women open up to you sexually... and, it also creates a hell of a lot of attraction.

There are multiple reasons for this:

  1. Your discretion shows that you understand women – always attractive

  2. It makes you a little mysterious (he’s sexually active, and nobody knows what stuff he does to women) – this is very sexy. That Christian guy in 50 Shades of Grey is a perfect example, currently sweeping modern women’s loins: he is mysterious, and he is also low-key

  3. Further, if a woman had to choose between a low-key man and a non-low-key man, she will most of the time go for the low-key man. With the low-key man she can open herself up and enjoy a good romp. She will usually only choose the indiscreet man if an encounter with him will boost her social status (e.g., if he is SO sexy that her friends will congratulate her for bedding him and cheer her on), or if she’s certain he is going to take her as a girlfriend

Ethical Argument

Until now we have only covered why you should be low-key on a purely practical level.

However, there is also a certain element of morality that we should be concerned about.

First of all, you are fully aware of the fact that a woman gets judged and labelled as a slut if people finds out she has been engaging in promiscuous activities. Therefore, I believe it is ethically speaking the right thing to do to keep your mouth shut, as you know that if you don’t, you will cause harm to her... and causing harm without any very good reason to someone is just simply bad.

discreet sex

We have now laid out many reasons for why you should be low-key. The first step to being perceived as low-key is obviously to become a low-key person in the first place. You won’t tell your friends whom you’ve slept with.

It’s okay to tell your friend that you got laid and share with him some details about the sex. We are not hiding the fact that we had sex; what we want to hide is the identity of the person we had sex with.

So what we want to do is to make sure nobody knows whom we slept with.

After a while, a rumour of you will be spread – being the guy who has a lot of sex with many girls... none of whose names anyone knows.

Women will start recognizing you as this low-key man and will automatically have their own discreet sex with you.

Of course, it takes a while to get there, and if you live in a big city like me, most people won’t even know you; but within certain circles, you may get such a reputation.

Even still, we cannot simply rely on this – we need practical techniques that can communicate to women that we are discreet so that we can experience the effects of being low-key right away.

Communicating Discretion via Patterns of Secrecy

If you can show a woman a pattern of behaviour that communicates your secrecy, you may communicate to her that you are low-key.

For example, you are behaving in an socially-accepted way toward her in front of her friends – like talking about normal stuff – but once isolated, you escalate heavily. This way, you are displaying a pattern that communicates your secrecy – i.e., you escalate when alone with her, and you don’t when her friends are around.

discreet sex

Of course, you can flirt with her and touch her in front of her friends, but don’t proceed too intensely in front of them. You might kick off her ASD and break your pattern of secrecy.

What I also suggest is that you sub-communicate sexually with her. This means seducing her under the radar while her friends are around.

Some examples of sexual sub communication:

  • The use of eye contact
  • Touching her without having anyone seeing it
  • Whispering dirty stuff into her ear

Verbally Communicating Secrecy

Another way to have yourself perceived as low-key is by telling a woman how important secrecy is to you.

You can do so by actually presenting some of the arguments listed in our first section.

You can tell her that you’re aware of the fact that women get labelled as sluts for accepting men’s sexual advances, and that such a thing is unfair but that there isn’t much you can do it about, beside being low-key and keeping anything that happens between you and a girl a secret.

Or, you can tell her that you love great sex and that the only way for you to get that is by being low-key because it opens women up sexually. As you can see here, we’re using meta-communication – we tell her how we seduce in order to seduce her.

Further, you can tell her that you find “secret sex” more sexy – sex between two persons that nobody knows off is more sexy than “sex between two persons that everybody knows of”.

You can formulate some of your own examples and use the arguments in the first section as a source of inspiration. If you like, you can come up with examples in the comment section below this article, and I will give you my opinion on these.

I will now give you two real life examples from some earlier lay reports of mine in order to illustrate this better. In my examples, there will be some talk beforehand in order to introduce the topic (a transition) but I will bold the parts where we get to the part we are interested in.

Example 1: Two Girls at My Place Before a Threesome

Alek: I am aware of the fact that girls are afraid of being labelled as a slut! Fact is... do you know why men label some woman as sluts?

Ina: No... tell us!

Alek: Well, it is because of some men’s frustration to not having slept with a girl some other men have slept with – a sign of weakness and jealousy from this weak man. You girls can now see that this slut label is total bullshit.

Hanna: Good point! I’ll remember that one!

Alek: There is nothing wrong with any women; the problem is with those men. This problem never occurs with me... Because I won't tell anyone the names of the girls in my sexual encounters! I might tell people what I had done, or simply tell people the fact that I had sex, but I will keep the names of the women I have fucked as a secret... why should I tell them who I had sex with? For making the guys search for pics on Facebook so they can spread some rumours?

Hanna: That’s so wise; I wish more men could be like this. It’s a sad fact that they’re not, though...

Example 2: Girl at the Club

Alek: I really like feminine women. I think femininity makes a girl so hot. But there is an aspect of femininity that I find so sexy, that is highly underrated, and that most men look away from.

Nina: What’s that?

Alek: The sexual aspect – a true woman is truly sexual. The submissive woman who just wants to get fucked really hard, who wants to feel so attractive that men are losing control over her.

Nina: Yeah, most men don’t see that side. Usually they believe all we want is love and affection, which, yeah, we like. But we also want more.

Alek: And that is exactly why men fail to see this side of women. That is because women hide this side because they get so much judgement for it!

Nina: So true!

Alek: And… that is why, as a result of being judged, they act non-sexual in public. No woman wants to be judged for being sexual. It becomes a vicious circle, with men perceiving women as non-sexual beings.

Nina: I agree… but it seems to me like most guys perceive women who are open and being too sexual as sluts and girl not worth respecting.

Here, you can see I am transitioning. Now you will see me get to the point where I communicate how much I love secrecy:

Alek: I believe… that exactly this is very harmful – because it makes women hide a side of them that is truly feminine! Let me ask you something…

Nina: Yes – what?

Alek: Consider that you are in a room, which would remind us of a different world. In this room, the rules are different; in fact, in this one room, everybody is sexually liberated – which means that nobody will judge you for being your true sexual self – you feel that you can just let go, lose and open yourself up… releasing yourself, you inner sexuality. As you release yourself, you feel that everybody else respects you for your honesty, for the sexual energy you are liberating…. How would you feel about it?

Nina: Good of course!

Alek: Would you feel feminine?

Nina: Yes, I would.

Alek: In this situation, would you behave in a sexually open manner?

Nina: Yes, of course! But the problem is that this world isn’t a reality.

Just for instance. What I did describe to her in this little “routine” was “the secret society”. It is very interesting how women react to this kind of stuff. They usually respond very positively to anything that is secret society-like.

Direct Statement Of Secrecy

The last technique I’d like to share is that of simply telling women straight up that they can release themselves around you because you are, in fact, low-key.

For this technique, let me share a funny little routine. It goes like this:

Alek: I’ve got two rules with girls...

Girls: What?

Alek: "Everything between me and you... stays between me and you," and, "Release yourself, I am your toy."

Alek: Most girls comply to these rules.

Discreet Sex Recap

By secrecy and discretion, we are referring to the fact that whatever happens sexually between you and your girl, stays between you and your girl.

Being low-key is very powerful for multiple reasons:

  • It makes women open up to you sexually

  • Women will be less afraid of having wild and dirty sex with you

  • It creates attraction

Above, we laid out three (3) ways to communicate that you are low-key person:

  • Create a pattern where you display secrecy: for example, you only escalate when alone with her, while when her friends are around you don’t

  • You tell her why you appreciate secrecy

  • You tell her straight up that you are low-key

Using low-key communication to make discreet sex happen is a powerful tool for broadening your base of available women to women who might otherwise be opposed to sleeping with you, not from lack of desire, but from lack of feeling allowed to.

In addition to freeing the women you want to sleep with to feel allowed to sleep with you, it also frees them to behave as sexually unrestrained with you in the bedroom as they’d like to be in their wildest dreams – which is a great deal of fun and a very fulfilling experience, both for you and for them. You can in this way be their very own real-life “Christian” (from 50 Shades of Grey).

Hope you enjoyed this post.

Until next,


Alek RolstadAbout the Author: Alek Rolstad

Alek Rolstad launched his pickup career at age 14, an early starter and seduction savant. His unique style of game focuses on “sex talk”: a way to make sex the primary topic of conversation. Sex talk lets the user excite girls rapidly, and filter for girls open to fast, raunchy, kinky one-night stands and sex. Alek plans to offer phone coaching to students of Girls Chase soon… Just as soon as he can find somewhere to hold phone calls on sex talk and threesomes where he won’t be shocking his roommates.

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Repulsah's picture

Hey Alek,

What a lovely article, everything is so true. I must say I constantly used a lot of techniques from how-to articles even before starting to read GC, so a lot of intuitive stuff here. Especially loved your article on secret society, SO TRUE.
Alek, you've mentioned that you've started to do things with girls at the age of 15, exactly the same here. I wanted to ask for some details about your background, perhaps some advice. This site gave and is still giving me an incredible boost with girls, I literally changed my view on them and the world itself. So, what were you doing back then to progress your skill with girls? What was your main focus on? Maybe you had acknowledged some of the main mistakes you were making at the age of 15-17 with all your experience now?
Would love to read all the info. Also, is there any way to contact your personally? Maybe some email coaching?


Y's picture

I love this article, Alek. Some incredibly actionable advice. Looking back at my own experiences, I see how when I've unintentionally projected discretion, sex almost always followed. After this article though, I'll know to do this more regularly.

Thanks brother,

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