Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: When She Tells You "I'm Just Not Feeling It"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

just not feeling it
Sometimes despite your best efforts, a girl will tell you “the spark isn’t there” or that she “just isn’t feeling it.” When this happens, you have 3 options on how to proceed.

I recently responded to a comment from a reader named Jason about an issue he ran into, where a girl he had a good thing going with (they’d progressed fairly far into intimacy, though hadn’t had penetrative sex yet) told him, about their kisses, that she “didn’t feel a spark.”

There’s a certain category of rejection girls can hit you with, where they object to the potential between you and them. Usually this takes the form of a girl telling you it just doesn’t ‘feel’ right, in this way or that. Examples:

  • “I just don’t feel any chemistry”
  • “The spark just isn’t there”
  • “I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it”
  • “I just don’t feel into it, I don’t know why”

The most maddening thing about this is its vagueness. Vague problems are hard problems to right.

So what do you do? Pack your things and go? Give chase and try to convince her she’s all wrong, and there was a spark? Obviously, neither of those is ideal.

There are a few superior options you can use to deal with objections like this. Those better options are the subject of this post.

How and Why Women Try to Domesticate Their Men

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

relationship domestication
Once you’re in a relationship, the domestication process begins. Why do women do this – and how do you not become totally broken and domestic?

The difference between a serious long-term relationship and a short-term relationship, from the girl’s point of view, is complex in many ways.

She expects more investment from you, emotionally and logistically. You will have to spend more time with her than you would if she was a simple hookup. You will also have to do more than simply shag her then kick her out. You will meet her friends, her parents, and go with her to events and on dates. How much you should do this is up to the precedent you want to set and how often you WANT to see her. If you LIKE doing those things, then do them.

The emotional side of things is a bit more complicated. How much emotion you should show depends on the girl. The harder she is emotionally, that much harder you should be (i.e., the less emotional you should be with her). She should be the one most in love, the most lovey-dovey, and the most cuddly. This is not up to debate. However, if you show no emotion, you can cause her to become too insecure and cause a lot of drama so that you end up proving your love in a small burst (an emotional down payment into the “I won’t suddenly leave you” fund), or she’ll seek that emotional fulfillment elsewhere, in another man (and this might turn into sexual fulfillment, too).

She also expects some level of commitment. Sexual faithfulness is far less important to women than emotional faithfulness. A hookup or having some low-key side chicks doesn’t bother women too much, so long as they know they are your queen. Obviously don’t rub this in her face if you choose to have side chicks. Be discreet and low-key.

All of this, when viewed from the complete freedom of singledom, cannot be described any other way than domestication.

Last Chance to Buy One Date (Doors Close Tonight!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Okay gentlemen. This is it. The final stretch.

One Date is only going to be available till the end of today. Tonight, a little bit after midnight, we shut the doors.

If you’re IN, you’re IN. You’ve got One Date, and you can study as fast as you want or as slow as you want; you’re completely at your leisure.

If you’re not in though... well, you’re going to have to make do without. So watch the video, and get your copy of One Date now:

Calibration Series Pt. 3: Calibrate Your Timing

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

pickup timing
Timing is a crucial element of successful pickups. If your timing is off, you’ll often completely blow it with girls. But get timing right, and that girl you want is yours…

Hey, guys! Welcome back to my series on calibration.

If you haven’t caught Part 1 and Part 2, definitely check them out.

Why this series on calibration? Because calibration is so damn key to your success with women. That’s why. It’s one of the most important aspects that set apart intermediate and advanced players. Better calibration gets you more girls (and hotter girls) more consistently. That’s reason enough.

Anyway, today we will discuss timing, a subfield of calibration that is rarely discussed on seduction blogs and forums, yet every time guys (usually intermediate or advanced seducers) discuss their nights out, they always seem to bring up timing (“My timing was off!”) as the most common reason for failure. And “My timing was on point!” is usually among the most common reasons for success.

Again, just like any other subject related to calibration, field experience (successes and failures) is what makes one a master. But you know this already. This post will just speed up your progress to mastery.

You Must Keep Your Investment in the Ballpark with Hers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

investment ballpark
Investment is a funny thing. It’s crucial to your courtships – but it’s also easy to mess up, if you do not calibrate it to the girl.

Yesterday, in my video on the subject, we talked about compliance. We’ll talk about it again tomorrow in my next video... plus a lot more inside One Date.

It’s vital to get women to invest in you. One of the easiest ways to build investment is to get them to comply with you. The more a woman complies, the more invested in and committed to you and her courtship with you she grows.

However, there’s some nuance here. And that is that some women invest much more on their own... and others, it’s like getting blood from a stone, trying to get them to invest and comply.

If you approach both women the same way, you’ll run into some fairly significant problems, bordering on “I can’t get these girls.”

That’s because when it comes to investment, it isn’t just about maximizing how much she invests in you. It’s also about keeping your own investment – in her and in the courtship – in the same ballpark as hers.

One Date Video: Part 3 of My SAC Model

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Part 3 of the One Date / SAC video series is out.

You can see it here:

killer compliance

(or click this link)

What we zero in on here:

How Much Should You Care About the Opinions of Others

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

care about the opinions of others
How much should you care what others think? Everyone cares at least a little. The key is that the reactions of others can tell you what to modify in yourself.

I’ve always seen the opinions of others as a paradox.

We’ve all heard people say they don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

Well, that’s sort of impossible. If you didn’t care what people thought of you, you would never take time to cater your reputation or really even talk to people in general, since their opinion of you is a non-issue.

Obviously the spirit of this mantra of “no fucks given” is meant to combat the neuroticism that leads to the criticism or hate of others keeping you from pursuing what you want to pursue, but there is something to be said about learning from criticism.

Criticism, and even hate, can highlight possible areas of improvement, especially in regards to how you communicate your thoughts and ideas, either verbally or non-verbally.

In other words, if someone dislikes what you say or do, many times it’s how you come off doing it, not necessarily what you actually did.

And if we completely ignore the criticisms of others, we are missing out on possible improvements, no?

For instance, the advice of a mentor or teacher is criticism, but it comes from a place of compassion. He wants you to see how he sees your flaws, because he wants you to fix them, since it’s your desire to become better.

The 3 Types of Attainability Problems That Lose You Girls (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

When it comes to dating and seduction, most guys understand value. Be as valuable as you can. Become smooth, cool, learn game, get cool clothes, a nice haircut, and get in shape. But what most guys miss is that attainability loses you a lot more girls than you think.

In this video, I go over the three types of attainability problems that lose you girls, how to recognize them, and how to fix them.

One Date Video: Part 2 of My SAC Model

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Part 2 of my One Date model is live!

You can view it here:

Chase Amante Trigger the Right Kind of Excitement