Seduction

What’s better than spending a day at the beach?

That’s right… spending a day at the beach while picking up hot girls… and then taking them straight back to your place to sleep with them.

When I started putting together the pieces of a perfect beach pickup, pulling girls from the beach back to my room for the sake of immediate hedonistic escapades, even some of the more experienced seducers among my friends said they were impressed…

… but for the sake of full transparency, I’ll have to admit that it’s really not as hard as it sounds.

Sure, you need to have the process of a proper pickup down, no doubt about it. But there are a couple of factors that make seducing women at the beach a lot easier than elsewhere.

In fact, it can be one of the EASIEST types of pickup you’ll ever do… if you know how.

And today I’ll teach you that “how” with another case study: beach-to-bed in 2-3 hours or less… step by step.

Note from Chase: about a month ago, we published the first article by Colt in our "Student of the Game" series, "How to Succeed with Women," and I asked the readers here if they'd like to see more from a guy who's still learning the ropes on getting girls. The response was "yes," and Colt's submitted another article for us here. Hope you enjoy.

It’s a dream of almost every man out there: to be irresistible to women. But, most men write this off as a pipedream.

Yet, this “pipedream” is a lot more attainable as a reality than most men think. And today…we’re going to focus on turning those pipedreams into pipe reality.

There’s a lot of debate in the self-improvement circles about where confidence comes from: does it come from within, or does it come from without? On this site we normally try to find balance, and in that spirit, usually settle on the fact that once you find a few ounces of confidence to start approaching, your inevitable success with women will only feed your inner confidence and make you more confident, more irresistible to women, and more successful – a self-perpetuating cycle.

But the confidence you get from working on getting better with girls isn’t the only confidence you can build - or even the most effective variety.

I've been with my fair share of "attached" women before - that's girls with boyfriends and girls with husbands. As I've mentioned before, the way I see it, there's always some guy, SOMEWHERE who's going to be angry you're sleeping with a girl - whether he's her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, her husband, or just some guy who's already "called dibs" on her and you moved faster, it doesn't matter - somebody somewhere is upset that you're with "his" girl. So you can either spend time worrying if some man you don't know will have his feelings hurt if you sleep with a woman who wants you, or you can sleep with a woman who wants you and figure that if someone is upset about her for sleeping with someone else, well, that's between that person and her.

And if she was REALLY his, there's not a thing you could've done to get her... trust me.

By the same coin, it doesn't bother me a lick when men are trying to get a girl *I'm* seeing. If you're dating a beautiful girl, men will want her, and men will try to get her. More power to them for trying. And hey, if she DOES give you the slip for some other cat, you can take that as strong evidence that either you weren't doing things right with her, or she wasn't the kind of girl who believes much in loyalty and fidelity, or you're dealing with some combination thereof (usually it's some combination thereof).

Lately though, I've been seeing some pretty lame attempts by men trying to get my girlfriend. And it's made me (and my girlfriend) realize: most men have no idea what to do when a girl has a boyfriend and they like her.

In an effort to stem the tide of lame attempts men make to get girls with boyfriends, I've put together a list here of the top 3 things TO do, and the top 7 things NOT to do when you're trying to get a girl who's got a guy. After reading this list you will, I hope, be in a much better position to avoid making these mistakes - and avoid ending up in time-wasting or worse situations with attached women, too.

Many people believe that it doesn’t matter much what you say to a girl when you chat her up… that 93% of all communication is nonverbal anyway, and that the words are just filler. Thus, any sexual frame you employ should be more focused on your body language and less so on your words… they just aren’t as important, goes the thinking.

This is a misunderstanding of Mehrabian’s study, which showed that somebody’s body language and tone of voice account for 93% of our LIKING for that person… it does not, however, mean that the spoken word only convey 7% of the meaning of any communication.

“Liking” is also largely irrelevant when it comes to seduction – girls will often sleep with and even get into relationship with guys that they don’t particularly like… attraction beats liking, hand over fist, every time.

And if it was true that words only conveyed 7% of what’s being communicated, it should be perfectly possible to watch a movie in a foreign language and still understand 93% of what is being said…

Try that some time. :)

If it was true, it should also be possible to tell a girl to bugger off… and get a 93% similar response as when telling her that she’s pretty.

There is, however, a more subtle reason why words matter… and that reason is frames, and the implications of what is being said.

So what are frames and frame control now?

Well, let’s look at some examples.

A couple of years ago, there was a huge debate going on in the Dating Advice Community… should you follow a structure when you go out to meet a girl, or should you just improvise to develop your “natural” abilities to seduce her? In a way, this is like a debate between science and art… between the left brain and the right.

And, this debate has actually been settled decades ago, in a different context… watch this clip from time index 1:00.

“It’s a combination of both. Here is the natural instinct, and here is control. You are to combine the two in harmony. If you have one to the extreme, you will be very unscientific. If you have another to the extreme, you become all of a sudden a mechanical man… no longer a human being. So it is a successful combination of both… so therefore it’s not pure naturalness or unnaturalness, the idea is unnatural naturalness, or natural unnaturalness.” – Bruce Lee.

So, let’s have a look at both sides of the coin when it comes to seduction and even to learning new skills in general, and let’s find the best way to marry the two concepts of learned structure and intrinsic ability.

I'm listening to Nassim Nicholas Taleb's book Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets on audio right now. It's a good and insightful listen, and a good refresher, though not much different from what you'll already be familiar with if you're well-acquainted with the effects of happenstance on the world around you. Randomness and luck is an important topic when you talk about pick up and how to get lucky; it was the subject of one of the very first posts that ever went up on this blog, all the way back in December 2008: the brief "Randomness and Success," where I talked about another book I was reading at the time and the need for including quantity in your approach to meeting women.

Last night I had a discussion with a business partner of mine about the nature of randomness and its influence on success. "Surely, it isn't all randomness," she said. "Skill has a big part to do with it."

"That's true," I replied, "skill does have a lot to do with it. A lot depends on the time horizon you're looking at, however. If you're looking at how someone performs over the course of a single week, there's going to be a lot more random variation in there compared to how they perform over the course of a month, which will be a lot more random and less skill-based than how they perform over a year, and so on and so forth. The smaller the time horizon, the bigger the part randomness will play."

In the first edition of this two part series on how to get laid every time, we covered all the ground rules… all the fundamentals about why girls sometimes resist having sex at first, and all the most important ways to deal with it.

Now let’s dive into the topic a bit deeper and look at a few more little ninja tricks and tactics – so you will always know what to do, no matter what the situation.

This is called contingency planning, and we discussed it more broadly in the post on when she doesn't have time (and other contingencies)… today we’ll look at it specifically in the context of the last few yards.