Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

6 Things that Make a Girl Harder (or Easier) to Get


girl harder to get
Guys often think a girl’s hotness = how hard to get she is. But there’s a lot more to it than just her looks. 6 more things, in fact.

Men often think hot women are harder to get than women of average looks. The usual rationale here is that hot women are AWARE of their hotness, which leads them to grow pickier in the mating game. Being hot, a girl is regularly hit on by men, and gets used to her surroundings telling her she’s beautiful.

Even though there is some truth to this theory, in today’s post we’re going to have a look at six of the other things that come into play... Six more variables that help to shape the how difficult (or not) you’ll find it to seduce a particular girl. Beyond and below these six things, we will see there are so many key variables that one might wonder if it’s even worthwhile to dwell much on them.

The quick answer to that last question is no... Dwelling on the various items that make a girl easier or harder to get has little (if any) effect on your actual in-field performance. Reason for this being that it’s very often hard and even impossible to tell at the start of things whether a girl will be hard to get or easy.

Not only is it hard to tell whether a girl is hard to get, even with the knowledge of all the variables at play, but it is very difficult to pin point which variable is actually having an impact on a particular girl... Plus how that variable affects the difficulty level of picking her up.

That being said, I believe awareness of these other factors might challenge the common (limiting) belief that just because a girl is hot she is hard to get (we might call this the “only hotness matters” belief). The notion that a girl is hard to get as a result of being hot might sometimes be the case but is far from always the case. Remove this mental limitation, and you may even start to feel more confident when you approach hotter girls.

Lastly, I also believe you’ll find this article an interesting read in itself (or at least I hope so!). Let’s have a look at those variables.

You Only Get One Second Chance


she re-approaches
Talk’s over and she’s gone away. Then there she is: she re-approaches you. Get the re-approach right and she’s yours. But mess up, and, well...

Cold approach is hard.

You get a brief moment with a stranger, and if you do well she gives you some windows. Sometimes things reach a natural end though, where you don’t get the girl then, but it’s time for things to end.

You take her phone number, plan to meet her later, and that’s it for now.

Or maybe it hadn’t gotten that far, and you just say farewell.

Sometimes if she really likes you though... And she starts to feel like she should’ve made her interest clearer or left a window open for you... She will return.

She’ll present herself again, and she will give you a second chance.

She’ll re-approach you, or give you an explicit verbal or nonverbal signal.

But if you don’t jump on her re-approach, that’s usually going to be it.

You’re finished if you miss it.

You might have another shot with her later if you know her via social circle... If you fix attainability and build the preselection to interest her in you again.

However, if it’s cold approach, 99 times out of 100 you’ll just never see her again.

What to Do When a Girl Rebuffs You


girl rebuffs you
What do you do when she rolls her eyes or sticks her hand in you face? How you handle it is down to if it’s a soft rebuff or a hard one.

Three girls in a nightclub, dressed flashy, keeping to themselves. The redhead was in a shiny, sexy beige dress. The blonde was in tight jean shorts and a white top with no bra. They had an older gal with them, perhaps late 30s, curly black hair and defiant.

I watched one man walk up to them, get spurned, roll off.

Another guy approached; snubbed, and he left.

So, I waited. And after a time, I saw my opening: we’d all moved out to a quieter part of the venue, and at some point the three girls moved out into the same area, out of the loud dance club part.

I was with a few friends who were good with girls but weren’t habitual cold approachers, and they debated whether to make an approach or not. I was just there to spend time with my friends, not to meet girls per se. But I set down my glass and walked over to them.

The girls saw me coming and closed ranks; another sad man to reject. When I reached them, the older gal gave me a half second of eye contact before she put her hand up in my face dismissively and turned away; the blonde wouldn’t look, and the redhead stared off, a bitchy look on her face.

A minute later, I had all three girls laughing and smiling with me. And when after I chatted with my friend, who’d watched the whole thing, all he could ask me was, “What did you say to them?”

5 Signs a Club is Good to Meet Girls At


nightclub meet girls
How do you know which nightclub is good to meet girls at? Because it’s almost never the popular club. Here are 5 signs to help you find the best nighttime venue.

Not all clubs are equal. Some think that success with girls is all about knowing how to pick up chicks. Yet in truth, it is logistics: everything that surrounds the process plays a key role in the process.

Have you ever noticed how you never or very rarely get laid in those super famous or popular local clubs? Everybody seem to love them and vouch for them, yet every time you head there you get nowhere.

I will discuss why that is so in this post.

In addition to that, there are a few signs one should keep in mind when selecting a venue. These signs will stand out to you after you read this article... Yet these aren’t signs regular men are aware of usually. This post and its five (5) signs will make club game much more enjoyable/effective.

Now keep in mind that no clubs are perfect... Or at least, very few are. However looking out for the best possible venue is key. Clubs that score positive on several of the factors in this post do exist. Yet, there also are far too many clubs that score low on every factor we’ll discuss – and yet those clubs may become popular regardless.

Let us begin with our first sign a club is good to meet girls at, and examine a common misconception... Namely, that huge clubs are the best clubs.

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Look for in a New Venue


venue selection
You know how vital it is to pick a venue with the kinds of girls you want. But how do different venues influence a girl’s openness to various things?

Venue selection is crucial to making your days and nights out go better.

Pick the right venue, and you can leave with a girl’s phone number (or with her arm-in-arm)... Even if your fundamentals aren’t yet too tight and your game needs work.

Pick the wrong venue, and no matter how smooth and attractive a fellow you are, it’s like riding a bicycle through a salt marsh.

So how do you know what the right venue is?

Alek’s discussed this topic already in his article on venue selection:

... and I’ve discussed it somewhat in my ebook on it and my article on bars and clubs:

Today, I want to talk about a somewhat different aspect of venue selection: I want to discuss how to pick the right venue for your style of game and your preferred type of interaction.

24 Ways to be a (Lovable) Dick to Girls


lovable dick
Girls will tell you they don’t like guys who are dicks. But they do. They really do. And with these 24 ways to be a dick to them, they will LOVE you.

Welcome back.

In the Part I of my "lovable dick" series, I explained a very important paradigm:

That being nice to a girl isn't always the nicest thing to do. In fact, sometimes she wants you to be a prick.

Why? Because she needs to know you have standards of behavior. And also, because she wants you to treat her like a little girl and not take her too seriously.

Now that I've thoroughly explained why being a dick is so attractive to women, and in what scenarios, here're 24 ways to make sure she knows that you're ACTUALLY a nice guy (i.e., you'll give her what she wants).

Nightclubs’ Effects on a Girl’s Sexual State


nightclub sexual state
The chaotic atmosphere of nightclubs makes them perfect to build sexual state in – and equally perfect to lose it. To succeed in clubs you must be able to beat the risks.

Last time we discussed the role of sexual state and how you can generate it. Today we will focus on how to use sexual state to your advantage: how the communication of your sexual state (for example physical escalation) affects women, the different factors that can affect your delivery both positively and negatively, and how to best deal with those factors.

In order to avoid confusing you, this thread will focus on communicating sexual intent.

Your sexual state lets you communicate your sexual intentions. You do this either by talking about sex, or non-verbally, by, for example, physical escalation - a concept you'll recognize from seduction literature as "vibing."

You do not need to be in a sexual state to communicate sexual intent - but it definitely helps. Read my previous article about how to enter a sexual state.

This article will cover the different factors that affect your delivery. Keep in mind that some of these factors can affect each other. They are not distinct categories but rather "blurry" components in a model of how things work in real life. If you aren't a technical guy, just consider this a post on escalation and the different factors that come into play when escalating.

Let's start out by discussing a situation factor...

How to Get Girls to Come Join You (with Ease)


come with me
Want an easy way to get girls to come join you on an instant date or back home? This advanced invite works even if she’s on the fence.

One of my favorite invites is the “come join me” invite. It’s flexible, fun... and surprisingly nuanced.

I actually spent years experimenting with this invite, with it often falling flat. It took me the longest time to pinpoint what the problem I was having was, too.

I’d chat with a girl, it’d go great, and then it’d be time to change venues or invite her home. And I’d say:

Me: Hey, I’m going to go [do whatever]. Come join me.

And the girl I was talking to would nearly always respond with:

Her: Thank you, but I think I’m going to just [go do whatever].

Occasionally I’d get a “yes” or a “yeah, okay, sure.” But most of the time she’d beg off.

And then one day I figured it out.

How to Get into Sexual State (and Make You and Her Horny)


sexual state
Sexual state lets you project sexuality and attract girls with your vibe. To get it, you must imagine sex, quit masturbation, and get laid more.

Hi there. Today I will discuss sexual state – as in, the feeling of being horny and desiring sex – and how it can benefit you in the field. I will discuss how it works and how you can use it to its fullest potential. Sexual state is a biologically informed mental state in which you want to bond on a sexual level with someone.

So let us first discuss the masculine aspect of sexual state – how can we use sexual state in field to attract women? Then we will talk about how you can increase your chances of getting into a sexual state to begin with.

Tactics Tuesdays: Spin Your Flaws Into Byronic Flaws


male virgin
Every man has flaws. However, with a little spin, you can turn ordinary flaws into attractive, Byronic flaws.

A commenter on my article “Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others” asks:

How attractive is it when you say that “I’m terrible at getting into deep connections with people, there are always people I like, but I never get attached that much so that it was too hard to let people go or go away myself. Free choice always stays my priority.”.

Because it’s the trait I really have.

If you tell her you’re someone who doesn’t connect well with others, usually that’s no good. It sounds like you have a flaw. Or you’re too hard to get. You’re likely to send her into auto-rejection or just turn her off.

Yet there’s a way to frame this. One that works well. All you do is say this:

“You know, I love people. But most girls can’t get past my armor. I don’t know what it is... And I don’t know why I can’t let them in. I so wish I could meet a girl I connect with. It just seems like the average girl is not connection material.”

Just like that, a flaw becomes an asset.

It becomes a Byronic trait. The kind of thing girls go nuts for in men.

And all it takes to do it? Just a little frame control.

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