Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

16 Ways Sales and Dating Overlap (and 11 Ways They Don’t)

Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.
Pickup Tech

sales and dating
Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.

In my article “The Beginning is the Hardest Part”, commenter Carver Montana requests an article on where sales and seduction overlap:

Hey Chase,

Thanks for another great article!

As I was reading the start of it, I got to thinking... I’ve seen you mention your experience in sales a number of times throughout your articles. From what I can gather, it was one of the things that helped you in various ways to ultimately become better with women.

Now, normally when you write about your sales experience, you seem to relate it pick up more or less indirectly. For example, you tell a story about how you went from being looked down upon by your co-workers to eventually gaining their respect, and then you relate that to an article about rising through the social ranks and so on. But I am curious as to why I’ve never seen you write about how sales pertain more directly to pick up.

I know a bit about sales myself (I’m an online marketer) and I know that there is a lot of overlap between the psychology of sales and that of pick up. No doubt you’re keenly aware of this. Hell, I even see you using common sales terminology, such as “closing” and “buying temperature.”

I feel like an article on the similarities between sales and pick up could be a good read. It would be nice to see on the site, if you think it would be appropriate ;)

Carver is right – I’ve referenced sales repeatedly throughout my writing. Some articles on here directly pull from my sales experience, such as my piece on Social Styles. Much of the terminology in the pickup / seduction world comes from sales terminology as well (though I should that terminology was already in place when I discovered pickup). And I do toss in sales anecdotes and sales analogies pretty often.

So, what exactly is the overlap between seduction and sales? Is there a perfect analogy between the two, or are there places the two don’t connect as well?

Let’s give you some tools to better compare the two. Along the way, if you’re familiar with sales you might find a few extra tools you can apply in your courtships that perhaps you haven’t applied already. And if you’re not familiar with sales, but you are familiar with seduction, you may just find sales less alien territory for you than you might think.

When a Girl is Thirsty for You, Here’s How to Skip Ahead with Her

When she’s thirsty for you, there’s just one way to mess up: not giving her what she wants. Yet guys make this error far too often. Why?
Pickup Tech

girl is thirsty
When she’s thirsty for you, there’s just one way to mess up: not giving her what she wants. Yet guys make this error far too often. Why?

One of the habits I most disdain in my behavior is acting surprised when a very hot girl shows sudden and intense interest in me.

Some part of me still thinks, “Woah, she can’t like me this much already!”

But she very well can. And even if you’re new, there will be girls who like you immensely.

You’d be surprised how many of my lost lovers never got with me simply because I didn’t just recognize their interest and say “Yes.”

And the problem with not recognizing these signs of intense interest is that women will either think you’re an asshole for not reciprocating, dumb for not noticing, or insecure for not being certain.

When a woman shows an extreme sign of affection, it’s the female equivalent of a direct approach.

And it’s the closest she’ll ever get to telling you she wants to feel your cock inside of her.

What does this behavior look like?

Maybe after she sees you flirt with another girl, she literally approaches you, grabs you, talks over the other girl, and vies for your attention.

Perhaps after you say hello to her, she immediately compliments you.

You could say something that grabs her attention completely (one time, I told a girl she reminded me of Blair Waldorf from the show Gossip Girl, and she went from 0 to 100 instantly).

Or she could say something that, to you, makes her seem way thirstier than you originally thought she was.

And these are actually signs indicating you can skip steps in the seduction, whether they be banter, deep diving – or really just talking in general.

And yet, being the silly gooses we sometimes are as men, we misread her signals, and instead of taking a step forward, we stand still or go backwards.

To prevent you from making the same mistakes I have, here are the ways you should NOT react to a girl who really likes you.

Tactics Tuesdays: Time Management on Dates and in Pickups

You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.
Dating Rules

time management on a date
You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

  1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
  2. The strategy around how best to use that time

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.

Having Sex is Supposed to be Easy

You’ve no doubt heard it before: “It’s instinct.” So why does it seem like it’s so hard to meet girls and have sex in the world of today?
Mindsets

sex is easy
You’ve no doubt heard it before: “It’s instinct.” So why does it seem like it’s so hard to meet girls and have sex in the world of today?

Yesterday in “How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts””, I mentioned I intended to get an article up titled this. So here it is.

Sex isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to be easy. And it makes sense, right? The fact that you’re alive right now means every single one of your male ancestors stretching back a billion or so years got not just laid, but managed to knock up at least one chick once, and quite possibly knocked up one chick multiple times, or even multiple chicks multiple times.

It’s easy for men to stress out about sex. If you’re young and inexperienced, you might feel the fear grip you as you imagine becoming a 30-year-old male virgin, still sitting alone in his room playing video games and watching anime, lost in fantasies about fictional characters. If you’re a recent divorcé, you may look at all your nimble competitors in the fast-moving dating world of today and wonder if you’ll ever be as sharp as they are, and if any woman will want you again.

Why does sex seem so difficult to get for so many men? Is it a society-level problem, is it a problem of the women, is it a problem of competition, or is it a problem of men themselves?

I want to dig into that a little bit, and also give you a bit of different perspective you may not have considered before on how fear and instinct play into things here.

How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts”

If a girl wants to hook up, and you do, that’s easy (well, easier). But what if she doesn’t want to hook up – how do you get her then?
Pickup Tech

girl off dating script
If a girl wants to hook up, and you do, that’s easy (well, easier). But what if she doesn’t want to hook up – how do you get her then?

I’m a fan of taking girls “off script.” It makes the courtship more personal and more rewarding for me.

If you want to know what this means, here’s all I mean by a script: every girl has a certain thing she’s on the lookout for at any given time.

For instance, her script may be:

  • I want to find a boyfriend
  • I want to find a husband
  • I want to find a guy to hook up with
  • I just want to make a new guy friend
  • I don’t want to meet anybody right now

Most of the time on Girls Chase, the other writers and I suggest you look for girls who are on the lookout for what you’re looking for. So if you want to hook up, you look for girls who are down for that. If you want a new girlfriend, you’ll have an easier time of it with a girl who’s gunning hard for a boyfriend, much of the time.

This makes life easier, and it’s a surer path to you and the girl you want together in bed or in a relationship.

However, it’s also possible to take a girl off her script and provide her with a different kind of experience. If you don’t enjoy the process of seduction and you just want a girl who wants what you want as fast as possible with as little work as possible, this article won’t be of interest to you (and you’ll want to focus on looking for girls who are looking for you).

If you’re a beginner, I recommend you get good at teasing out signs of interest and approach invitations from girls, and not worry about trying to get girls who aren’t that interested in you until you’ve got more experience (and lays and girlfriends) under your belt.

Yet if the idea of taking a girl who wants a boyfriend and hooking up with her fast, or taking a girl who just wants to hook up or doesn’t want to meet anybody and pulling her into a passionate new relationship with you intrigues you at all, then read on.

5 Things that Make Rebound Sex so Good (Plus How to Get It)

Rebound sex is a surprisingly healthy way to get over breakups and exes. But what makes it work so well? And how do you get it? Here are 5 things that make it good.
Relationship 101

rebound sex
Rebound sex is a surprisingly healthy way to get over breakups and exes. But what makes it work so well? And how do you get it? Here are 5 things that make it good.

I used to have a poor opinion of rebound sex.

That’s a hookup someone has soon after he exits an old relationship.

I’d see girls hook up with someone on the rebound... Or have a girl hook up with me on it. And in the back of my head I’d say, “Ugh. She completely lacks emotion control.”

After all, if you have good control of your own emotions, what need is there for you to go and have rebound sex with someone fresh just to get over an ex?

Yet as time’s worn on, my opinion’s changed. The science has come in on rebounds too. And the verdict is that not only is a rebound not a bad thing... It is in fact useful to help you move on sooner.

Also, as I found once I’d used it myself a few times, finding someone to sleep with you after you’ve just left a relationship is perhaps one of the easiest ways to get laid this world has to offer. And that’s certainly nothing to sneeze at.

6 Things that Make a Girl Harder (or Easier) to Get

Guys often think a girl’s hotness = how hard to get she is. But there’s a lot more to it than just her looks. 6 more things, in fact.
Female Mind

girl harder to get
Guys often think a girl’s hotness = how hard to get she is. But there’s a lot more to it than just her looks. 6 more things, in fact.

Men often think hot women are harder to get than women of average looks. The usual rationale here is that hot women are AWARE of their hotness, which leads them to grow pickier in the mating game. Being hot, a girl is regularly hit on by men, and gets used to her surroundings telling her she’s beautiful.

Even though there is some truth to this theory, in today’s post we’re going to have a look at six of the other things that come into play... Six more variables that help to shape the how difficult (or not) you’ll find it to seduce a particular girl. Beyond and below these six things, we will see there are so many key variables that one might wonder if it’s even worthwhile to dwell much on them.

The quick answer to that last question is no... Dwelling on the various items that make a girl easier or harder to get has little (if any) effect on your actual in-field performance. Reason for this being that it’s very often hard and even impossible to tell at the start of things whether a girl will be hard to get or easy.

Not only is it hard to tell whether a girl is hard to get, even with the knowledge of all the variables at play, but it is very difficult to pin point which variable is actually having an impact on a particular girl... Plus how that variable affects the difficulty level of picking her up.

That being said, I believe awareness of these other factors might challenge the common (limiting) belief that just because a girl is hot she is hard to get (we might call this the “only hotness matters” belief). The notion that a girl is hard to get as a result of being hot might sometimes be the case but is far from always the case. Remove this mental limitation, and you may even start to feel more confident when you approach hotter girls.

Lastly, I also believe you’ll find this article an interesting read in itself (or at least I hope so!). Let’s have a look at those variables.

You Only Get One Second Chance

Talk’s over and she’s gone away. Then there she is: she re-approaches you. Get the re-approach right and she’s yours. But mess up, and, well...
Pickup Tech

she re-approaches
Talk’s over and she’s gone away. Then there she is: she re-approaches you. Get the re-approach right and she’s yours. But mess up, and, well...

Cold approach is hard.

You get a brief moment with a stranger, and if you do well she gives you some windows. Sometimes things reach a natural end though, where you don’t get the girl then, but it’s time for things to end.

You take her phone number, plan to meet her later, and that’s it for now.

Or maybe it hadn’t gotten that far, and you just say farewell.

Sometimes if she really likes you though... And she starts to feel like she should’ve made her interest clearer or left a window open for you... She will return.

She’ll present herself again, and she will give you a second chance.

She’ll re-approach you, or give you an explicit verbal or nonverbal signal.

But if you don’t jump on her re-approach, that’s usually going to be it.

You’re finished if you miss it.

You might have another shot with her later if you know her via social circle... If you fix attainability and build the preselection to interest her in you again.

However, if it’s cold approach, 99 times out of 100 you’ll just never see her again.

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What to Do When a Girl Rebuffs You

What do you do when she rolls her eyes or sticks her hand in you face? How you handle it is down to if it’s a soft rebuff or a hard one.
Pickup Tech

girl rebuffs you
What do you do when she rolls her eyes or sticks her hand in you face? How you handle it is down to if it’s a soft rebuff or a hard one.

Three girls in a nightclub, dressed flashy, keeping to themselves. The redhead was in a shiny, sexy beige dress. The blonde was in tight jean shorts and a white top with no bra. They had an older gal with them, perhaps late 30s, curly black hair and defiant.

I watched one man walk up to them, get spurned, roll off.

Another guy approached; snubbed, and he left.

So, I waited. And after a time, I saw my opening: we’d all moved out to a quieter part of the venue, and at some point the three girls moved out into the same area, out of the loud dance club part.

I was with a few friends who were good with girls but weren’t habitual cold approachers, and they debated whether to make an approach or not. I was just there to spend time with my friends, not to meet girls per se. But I set down my glass and walked over to them.

The girls saw me coming and closed ranks; another sad man to reject. When I reached them, the older gal gave me a half second of eye contact before she put her hand up in my face dismissively and turned away; the blonde wouldn’t look, and the redhead stared off, a bitchy look on her face.

A minute later, I had all three girls laughing and smiling with me. And when after I chatted with my friend, who’d watched the whole thing, all he could ask me was, “What did you say to them?”

5 Signs a Club is Good to Meet Girls At

How do you know which nightclub is good to meet girls at? Because it’s almost never the popular club. Here are 5 signs to help you find the best nighttime venue.
Pickup Tech

nightclub meet girls
How do you know which nightclub is good to meet girls at? Because it’s almost never the popular club. Here are 5 signs to help you find the best nighttime venue.

Not all clubs are equal. Some think that success with girls is all about knowing how to pick up chicks. Yet in truth, it is logistics: everything that surrounds the process plays a key role in the process.

Have you ever noticed how you never or very rarely get laid in those super famous or popular local clubs? Everybody seem to love them and vouch for them, yet every time you head there you get nowhere.

I will discuss why that is so in this post.

In addition to that, there are a few signs one should keep in mind when selecting a venue. These signs will stand out to you after you read this article... Yet these aren’t signs regular men are aware of usually. This post and its five (5) signs will make club game much more enjoyable/effective.

Now keep in mind that no clubs are perfect... Or at least, very few are. However looking out for the best possible venue is key. Clubs that score positive on several of the factors in this post do exist. Yet, there also are far too many clubs that score low on every factor we’ll discuss – and yet those clubs may become popular regardless.

Let us begin with our first sign a club is good to meet girls at, and examine a common misconception... Namely, that huge clubs are the best clubs.

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