Seduction | Girls Chase

Seduction

Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

7 Girl-Getting Paradigms (Which One is Yours?)

girl getting paradigms
Different men approach meeting girls from wildly different paradigms. What does your paradigm say about you – and how’s it impact your success?

The other day, commenting below Alek’s fourth installment on his series about meeting girls in gay bars, a reader named BMontana remarked:

[A]s a man, I not only want to get laid but I also want a woman to chose me over other straight guys, it’s an ego thing I guess. Now I wouldn’t mind picking up a girl in a gay bar if I was 100% sure I would succeed but still knowing that I am one of the few non gay guys won’t give me the satisfaction that I would have gotten when picking up a woman in a regular bar.

It’s an interesting girl-getting paradigm: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if the girl chooses me over other men.

At first I mistook BMontana’s paradigm for: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if I vanquish other men. But I realized that is yet another paradigm. BMontana wants to feel picked by the girl over other offers, rather than to defeat other men in a battle of skills, wit, or will.

What I’d like to do today is to explore the different potential paradigms a man may have when it comes to securing new women. Some of these paradigms are more helpful than others; however, I will not present them in order of effectiveness.

Instead, we’ll talk a bit about what makes a paradigm more or less effective, and then we’ll discuss the seven (7) paradigms a man may use. Note that your paradigm will tend to be your default; when you operate from a paradigm, it is how you normally interact with the opposite sex.

The paradigm you inhabit colors your dating world: how you think about women, you interpret the signs and signals they give you, and how successful (or not) you are, in various situations, with various women.

The Endgame Guide: How to End Dates and Pickups in Bed

seduction endgame
The endgame of a seduction is one of its’ most crucial points. How do you get her alone, sexual, and escalating toward the bedroom with you?

So you’ve got a hot and friendly girl in front of you at a club, but you don’t know how to take the next steps that will lead to your arrival inside her warm spring back at your place. Don’t worry, you are about to get some practical tips that will help you visualize the process, build your confidence, and get that hot girl horny and having sex with you.

If you have done much clubbing, you have probably found yourself in a situation where you have met a hot girl and wanted to bring her home with you, but making it actually happen seemed like a fantasy. You’re not alone! That’s why I wanted to put together a guide detailing some of my own quick and dirty tips to help you out.

This guide is primarily directed to guys who practice night game, but some of this stuff is also very helpful for bringing girls home and having first-day sex with day game.

Let’s get to it.

Tactics Tuesdays: Confusion Game (for Disinterested or Difficult Girls)

confusion game
Some women are a lot harder to get than others. But if you keep them on their toes, in the dark, and following your lead, you can yet get them.

This is for more advanced practitioners of game. If you still ride seduction training wheels, don’t worry about this yet. You can circle back to this article and its contents once you’ve progressed a bit further.

Confusion game is the term I’ve long used to refer to a style of game focused on befuddling answers and high uncertainty. This style of game only works if you have strong fundamentals; and, in particular, it only works if you have a strong sexual presence. Women you use it with must be sexually interested in you.

The underlying premise of confusion game is this:

The mating process involves having a woman overcome or set aside her logical reservations, that she may indulge in her physical / sexual / emotional urges. By triggering the latter with good fundamentals and game, and disarming the former with thought-entangling confusion, you give her the ability to set logic aside and indulge in her desires.

Further, by keeping her in a state of confusion, you establish yourself as the unambiguous leader. You are the one who knows what’s going on and leads the way. She is in the dark, and must trust you and stick by you as you lead.

Confusion game is not a girl-getter in and of itself. If you are not too attractive yet, and you go around confusing women, all you will end up with is a bunch of confused women.

However, when coupled with an all-around solid seduction skill set, confusion game allows you to bypass too-logical reservations women have. It is a way to throw a wrench into a woman’s objection machine. And on top of this, it allows you to build and maintain a firm, unshakeable lead – you are, after all, the only one who actually knows what’s going on.

Why Some Guys Creep Women Out (and How to Easily Avoid This)

creep women out
Girls have guys read too much into things sometimes. Or even chase them around. The result? Women can become oversensitive to “creepy” behavior.

In my first post regarding the lessons I have learned from gaming in the gay environment, a user named Agent asked the following question:

Hey Alek,

Could you elaborate more on the creepy approaches vs. the good ones? It’s actually very interesting you were in a situation where you could examine the scene from a woman’s point of view. By the way, thank you for your reply in your previous post about approaching in day game! You mentioned very subtle approach signals from girls. I don’t seem to notice any except the very obvious ones. Could you expand here, on the subtle signs? ... Generally, I feel confident to approach when the girl is giving me strong eye contact and/or smiling. This does not happen that much often though.

To give you some context, this question was posted in a thread in which I covered some dating and seduction lessons I learned from spending time picking up women in LGBT venues. In that post, I briefly mentioned how being approached by gay men in those venues gave me some perspective on how to better calibrate my own approaches to women.

I will start this post by sharing a story of mine, then I’ll discuss a number of things that make an approach good or bad. At the end of this post, I will sum up what makes a good approach.

Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game

urbanization and game
Game – a male strategy to date and mate with women – is a phenomenon that emerges naturally in complex, organized, crowded societies.

In 2 A.D., Roman poet Ovid published his three-piece work Ars Amatoria, the first two books of which deal with how to find, bed, and retain women.

Ancient Shang Dynasty poems and love songs weave details on how to seduce in with their descriptions of the romances they retell.

In 374 A.D. Augustine of Hippo picked up women on the streets of Carthage, and would share his exploits with wingmen who picked up women too. Casanova traipsed through 18th Century Europe carving notches into his bedpost. The ancient world was filled with men who studied ‘the game’.

There’s always resistance to the idea of men learning and practicing game. Some folks will tell you it’s unnecessary – you’re supposed to just know this stuff. It’s preprogrammed into you. Others will tell you it’s immoral; why can’t you just pick one girl and settle down? Still more men will tell you seduction is a misguided pursuit that takes you away from your role as a man, or from greatness.

Yet despite the critics, this skill set of meeting, seducing of, and sleeping with women pops up again and again throughout history – most recently beginning in earnest in the 1990s of our own age and civilization.

For something so many people will tell you you do not need, why does game keep resurfacing?

Beat Her Resistance, Shields, and Tests with Sexual Tension

beat her resistance
Sexual tension isn’t just good for turning her on. You can use it to breeze past walls, resistance, and tests, too.

I know that after my report on sexual tension, I mentioned it would be the last post in the sexual tension series.

That was the original plan, but things – powerful things – that I left out keep popping up in my head. Anyway, here is one of those things.

Today’s topic will be about sexual tension; however, we will discuss another use for it. Primarily we have discussed sexual tension as a tool to make her horny and attracted to you, hopefully leading the interaction toward sex.

This time around, we’ll take a different approach. Instead of focusing on using sexual tension directly to make her horny, we’ll focus on using sexual tension to deal with her “shit” (e.g., resistance and tests), and in turn, make her horny. So today we will basically discuss how the different concepts related to sexual tension can be applied to dealing with her:

The application of concepts in each case will be more or less similar. However, we will discuss the subtle differences and try to exemplify the process for enhanced understanding. Let us get into it!

Women Don't Actually Follow Their Own Rules

women and rules
A woman’s rules are never absolute. Often they aren’t even guidelines. Once a man understands this, his entire way of interacting with women changes.

Ever have a girl tell you about some rule of hers?

Maybe she says she never has sex on the first date. Or perhaps a man needs to pay for meals with her to have any chance with her. Or she might tell you she never ever cheats on a boyfriend and will under no circumstances date one man until she’s broken up with the other.

If you’re new to dating, there’s a high chance you hear things like this from women and just accept it. “Okay, that’s her rule. I guess I can’t date this girl. Or I need to work within her rules.” You might give up on girls who offer you incompatible rules. Or you may slow way down on them because of this (“Guess I’d better take her on 20 dates first”).

But I’ll tell you a secret: once you’ve been around girls for a bit, you cease to pay much attention to women’s rules.

Then once you’ve been women for a while, you often start to get excited when women tell you their rules. A woman’s rules are an excellent chance to make her do the opposite of whatever it is she said she won’t do, and love every second of it.

Is this immoral though? Won’t it cause a crisis of self in the girl, if you make her bend or break her own rules? Shouldn’t you respect women’s rules?

No, and for one reason: women aren’t men. And what constitutes a ‘rule’ for her is very different from what constitutes a ‘rule’ for you.