Seduction

Ah, the first kiss.

Does the following sound familiar?

"This conversation with her is going great... man, she’s a real cutie… and she seems to be having a good time too... maybe... yes... I *think* she's flirting with me too!

"But... what if I try to kiss her now and she rejects me? I'll have made a fool out of myself... and maybe that'll blow all my chances with her... I can't take that risk... I better play it safe."

This is a pre-recorded voice message, installed on just about every man's mental hard-drive… at birth.

(It almost seems mother nature doesn’t want you to produce offspring at all sometimes, doesn’t it?)

So… we need to scramble that file... and fast.

FACT: If she’s talking to you, one on one, chances are she likes you… or she’s at least considering the possibility.

Which means, she’s EXPECTING you to kiss her… and in fact, it will even be WEIRD to her if you don’t make a move.

She will think that you’re either not that into her, or that you just don’t have the balls to take things to the next level… and either way, it will cause her interest in you to diminish.

It’s ironic… men are afraid to ruin their chances by making a move, when in reality the opposite is true… not taking things to a physical level with a woman is the number ONE reason why guys end up in the dreaded “friend-zone”!

A week and a half ago I was out at a nightclub with a pair of friends. One of my friends was from here in town; the other was visiting from the other side of the world. As is usually my priority when out with friends, I wanted to do anything I could to make sure both of them had as good a time as possible, and for me that meant doing what I could to try and get both of them pulling women.

Both guys are cool, likeable guys, and both do all right with women in their own rights already, so my contribution to their efforts was more in the edge cases -- making things happen when they might otherwise not. As it was, I coordinated aiding one of my friends in pulling his girl home fast, in the cold, even as she left her coat and phone behind and complained about needing to go talk to her friends, and set my other friend up as best I could to pull a girl I'd introduced him to who clearly wanted him to take her home very much while I managed the pull of my other friend visiting from out of town.

There were a number of moments during the pull when my one pal's girl was ready to peel off, and only by unflinchingly leading things forward was I able to maintain control of the situation and ensure she came with us.

How do you succeed at pulling women home in situations where most men fail?

Simple: you progressively move things forward.

The way you do that is the subject of this post, and executing correctly is going to be key to you getting regular, routine success picking up cute new girls.

Aaron Sleazy is the author of Sleazy Stories: Confessions of an Infamous Modern Seducer of Women, chronicling his memoirs as a seducer, and Debunking the Seduction Community, a critical analysis of the commercial pick up and seduction industry. His newly released how-to book, Minimal Game: The No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Girls, gives a brief, insightful look into his barebones efficient-as-possible style at getting girls fast with little time or talk.

In this guest post, he discusses an issue a lot of guys run into, especially when looking for a girl they might want as a girlfriend. Every guy wants to know get to know a girl before committing to anything, and here Aaron takes the process a step further -- he discusses why if you really want to get intimate with a girl on an emotional level, you need to take her as your lover first.

Once upon a time, I sat in a college dorm room wondering how to attract women.

I mean, in high school I'd had them chasing after me, at least some of the time, but then I went to university and that all disappeared. Coupled with my lack of social skills, I soon found myself both alone, and un-pursued.

So, I tried anything I could think of. I got into music and performed on-stage. I made myself stand out however I could in my classes. I started peacocking with flashy clothes and accessories. I even tried buying pheromones from the Internet -- the jury's still out if that did me any good.

But despite those efforts, I still didn't have any women in my life. Some of it got me noticed -- a lot of pretty girls were paying a lot of attention to me. But was I attracting them? Here's how Dictionary.com defines the word:

“Attract: to draw by appealing to the emotions or senses, by stimulating interest, or by exciting admiration; allure; invite: to attract attention; to attract admirers by one's charm.”

Well, they may have been interested, but they certainly weren't around me too much. So, at best, maybe I was part of the way there.

Most men, I discovered, find themselves in the same boat. They try a bunch of things, not sure what, exactly, it is that'll work best at getting women attracted... only to keep realizing that the things they're trying aren't working as well as they'd hoped. Anywhere near as well as they'd hoped. Some guys even all but lose hope entirely.

How I learned to be a man who knew how to attract women and inspire them to chase him and pursue him and desire him is the story I want to share with you here.

Furthermore, I want you to avoid the scenario I was in, of having to figure this mostly out from scratch -- so I'm going to give you 7 tips you can start using right now, today, to get yourself becoming more attractive to women.

Without further ado: How to Attract Women: The Guide.

I haven't touched much on last minute resistance on this site, and it's about the time I got a proper post up on it. Before we jump in, I want to share a note from a reader who wrote in asking about how to get a girl in bed to illustrate what I'll be talking about and provide us an example case to work from:

“Hi Chase, Firstly I'd like to say that I love your blog and that many things have started to make sense (especially about moving fast). After taking your advice I decided to try it out and act as though the only night I had a chance of sleeping with a girl was that night.

It started with me being introduced to a girl through a friend at a party, we flirted a bit and I intentionally moved her around. When we got to town everyone got separated and we were together, after moving her around more I persuaded her to take me back to hers for a "sandwich".

We got back to hers she made me a sandwich and after that it started getting a bit steamy in the bedroom. However when I went to take her panties off she wouldn't let me, even after trying about 5 times. She then claimed that she was too tired and we should try in the morning. When the morning came she avoided sex again and I managed to find out that she though sex was pointless if we weren't in a relationship.

To say the least I was confused and angry but also felt a sense of failure as though I wasn't good enough to be her lover. I mean why would a girl take me to hers, heavily make out with me and then refuse to have sex even if she wanted a boyfriend? I wanted to be put in the lover zone not the boyfriend zone.

A reply to this would be much appreciated but a blog post on why a girl would do this would be awesome.”

Our reader's case here is a classic case of last minute resistance, or LMR -- that thing that happens when it feels for all the world like you're just about to sleep with a girl, that it's totally inevitable, that all that either of the two of you want in all of existence is to just be together... and then she suddenly, inexplicably, unexpectedly throws a wall up and won't let you proceed. Why's that happen, and what can you do about it?

To show you how to get a girl in bed and overcome last minute resistance, first we're going to have to get you to understand why women react this way -- and then we're going to have to teach you what you can do about it.

A topic that I know a lot of guys struggle with is touch. It's something I don't think to discuss terribly often -- touch, while I had to learn it like everything else, came pretty fast to me and was relatively second nature for me early on, so I never got to thinking about it so much as other things -- but touching women is incredibly important to your success with them.

As I've broken it down for myself, there are several different ways of going about touching women you can employ -- different categorizations of the manner of physical contact you can have with girls. Touch from each of the categories is conducted a little differently from touch in all the other categories, and each has its own effects.

The excerpt I have for you today is from my eBook, How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams. I've teased out the 4 ways to touch women here for your perusal, to get you thinking about touch in a newer, sharper, and more effective way...

“There are all manner of ways of touching women. We’ll categorize these here, and describe each kind and give examples of ways you might touch in each category. These should get you primed for getting increasingly physical in the right ways.

What's the best way to pick up girls? You might be surprised by what can influence a woman's receptiveness... even something like being on birth control or not.

A fascinating study, "Relationship satisfaction and outcome in women who meet their partner while using oral contraception," was several days ago published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B. Researchers from the UK decided to look at the differences in women who began dating men while on birth control, and those who started dating men when they weren't on birth control.

What they found was this:

“Women who used OC scored lower on measures of sexual satisfaction and partner attraction, experienced increasing sexual dissatisfaction during the relationship, and were more likely to be the one to initiate an eventual separation if it occurred. However, the same women were more satisfied with their partner's paternal provision, and thus had longer relationships and were less likely to separate.”

In other words, using birth control (or oral contraception -- "OC") leads to women ending up with men they're less attracted to, are sexually dissatisfied with, increasingly become more sexually dissatisfied with as the relationship progresses, and the women more often are the ones to call the relationship off eventually. On the plus side, the men women on birth control end up with usually make better husbands and fathers, and their relationships lasted an average of two years longer.

The flip side of this is that women off birth control choose to mate and date with sexy men -- men they find more attractive, who give them better sex, and who they're less likely to initiate a breakup with -- but the breakups still happened, on average two years earlier than the men women met while on contraception. And it's more often the men doing the breaking up -- likely because these are more attractive men with more options with women who don't like staying tied down too long.

The reason for these huge differences in dating preferences -- why women on the pill are ending up with nice guys they're unsatisfied with but who make good dads, and why women off the pill end up with sexy guys they're excited by but who break up with them -- comes down to what the pill does chemically to women's brains -- and that works out to be some interesting stuff. Read on if you dare...

As a boy, I decided I wanted to learn how to be a man who inspired others to gather around him. I wanted to become a magnet for people. I don't know why I wanted this; it's just something I've always had, something deep in my DNA. I have family members who are actors, singers, and entrepreneurs; at least one of my ancestors was a privateer (or, more commonly, a pirate), a few hundred years back.

Even as recently as my great-grandfather, I'm told that my grandmother was first introduced to her future father-in-law when my grandfather brought her to his father's estate in Europe, led her up a large grand staircase, and cast open the doors to his bedroom, revealing an old man reposed in his bed with two young women, one on either arm. I come from a long line of different, eccentric individuals who have had little taste for playing by the rules.

Yet, I still faced an uphill climb as I developed. It might seem that being a man is passé in today's world of tender, sensitive males and assertive, upwardly mobile females. TV and the movies lionize the shy, unconfident man; powerful men routinely get painted the villains, or used as unintelligent plot devices eventually triumphed over by strong women and underdog men. Society tells you it's men's feelings that are most important, and achievement is of secondary importance; so long as you're happy, that's all that really matters.

Because of all this, we now celebrate the ordinary, and frown upon the exceptional. It's as though the exceptional threaten ordinary individuals' contentedness in their own ordinariness, and so must be discouraged from pursuing the exceptionalism that would seem so disruptive to those around them.

Well, if you want to know how to be a man women chase and pursue, you're going to have to accept that you're going to get a lot of push back from people, and you're going to have to confront the beliefs you've been instilled with since a child. You'll have to pull the wool from your eyes, so to speak.

But as you do, you'll find the world comes to look a more and more beautiful place, the more you see it for what it really is. Today, I want to help you pull that wool down and see the world a bit more for what it is, and arm you with a few steps to start taking right now to set yourself on the road to becoming the kind of man you've always dreamed you could be.

And in order to accomplish all this, I'm going to give you a set of maxims to grow by.

Ever find yourself wondering just how to make the women you want want you?

The truth is, making women want you isn't as Herculean an undertaking as you might think from watching TV and the movies. You don't have to win a race, or make a million dollars, or give yourself a makeover (although if you can, don't let me stop you!). But you do need to have somewhat of an idea of what you're doing -- of what women need -- and of how best to give it to them.

If you're a regular guy living a regular day-to-day life, you'd be forgiven for thinking that women are busily immersed in their own lives and hardly ever notice anyone or anything else. But the fact is, women are just like men -- they have crushes, they get infatuated, someone with the right looks or qualities or intangibles catches their eyes and they fall for him.

And it isn't just male models that women fall for. Just like it isn't magazine celebrities you spend most of your time sweating over, dreaming about, and imagining a romance with, so it is with women -- they aren't dreaming about guys on reality TV; they're dreaming about real men, in their own real lives.

Making women want you, then, isn't about becoming the most amazing man in the world. Instead, it's much more about becoming the most amazing man in the room -- and if you've got even a semblance of a commitment to self-improvement, I'm quite confident we can get you there... probably pretty fast.

For that reason, I've put together 10 killer tips to make women want you. By the end of this post, I'm betting you'll find yourself glancing at that cute girl you keep running into with a new twinkle in your eye -- and I bet she'll be looking back with a twinkle of her own.

Here's one for all the intermediate guys and up -- the ones who've already figured out the fundamentals enough that it's all started slowing down for them and they're better able to see the forest for the trees.

A reader (one who's had mail featured in a couple of articles on here already, in fact), wrote in a thoughtful, insightful break down of what he'd picked up about how I read what women need and give it to them. I'd been meaning to write something up on this, but he put it quite well:

“Basically what I've finally picked up on is how well you read minds. The thing that keeps you in control is knowing exactly what that girl needs to hear. And its funny because this is exactly how most women communicate.

They don't walk around imposing themselves on others they notice what the other person is going through and then converse from there. I've been noticing that I have a great grasp on a lot of things you post but where I have been falling short is in the area of understanding what she NEEDS in that moment you know?

I'll be thinking in my head okay now let's move onto this, gotta move her now... Basically what I've been doing is focusing on what I needed to get done not what she needed.

Now I understand when you say "I can tell she wanted to be moved." Because your actually paying attention and your always asking yourself what does she need right now. It's like when you think in terms of "what does she need?" Everything becomes so clear and you see her as almost like a game to be won.”

And that's pretty accurate. I do notice that most guys blindly and bluntly stumble their ways through interactions with women, and I do keep my own interactions more or less wholly contingent upon what the girl is telling me she needs in any given moment.

But that, of course, is more easily said than done for most men, because most men don't know how to tell what women need.

Instead, they stumble blindly in the dark, hoping to get that one shot in a thousand that they "get lucky" and happen to get all the pieces to line up just right (or have a girl who likes them enough that she doesn't mind if not all of the pieces match up... but how often does that happen?).

Well, I don't think you ought to have to stumble -- and believe me, women would prefer you didn't, too. And that's why I wrote this handbook -- everything you need to start reading the women around you.