Moving from standard attraction to physical and emotional intimacy with a woman of your choice.

The 5 Factors of Successfully Picking Up Girls

Succeeding at picking up girls comes down to 5 key factors: your skills, her mood, your mood, logistics, and her personality.
Pickup Tech

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing great.

Recently I have posted A LOT of practical posts - covering techniques and tactics in addition to some real life situations of me in the field. I haven't posted any theoretical posts in a long time. Although I prefer the practical element of seduction - I find them more interesting and useful - I still believe some theory can help you understand how this all fits together.


Note that I will still give you some practical examples when explaining this theoretical model though - so for those of you who like to read practical stuff, there will be plenty of goodies in here for you as well.

Today I would like to discuss 5 key factors that I believe have an effect on whether you will get the girl or not.

The key factors are:

Some of these factors can sometimes affect one another (but not necessarily). Everything in seduction is more or less connected. This is why understanding the whole picture is key in order to succeed at this.

Now, understand this before I move on: nothing when it comes to seduction is static. This means that any of the factors listed above are prone to change any minute. However, there are no guarantees that they will do so - and sometimes you simply cannot do much about a particular situation.

There are 3 things you can do to affect these 5 factors:

  • Directly affecting it - with your pick-up and seduction skills (such as affecting her mood - which is what seduction is primarily all about)

  • Move on, drop it, and meet new women. Oftentimes, this is the best solution (if you've persisted 3 times and you are still getting nowhere, better move on)

  • Focus on another key factor and hope that the changes that you might trigger on one factor will bypass any difficulty (so let us say that both your and her logistics sucks, then if you manage to get her so horny - to the point of no return - logistics will not matter anymore)

Anyway, I do not expect you to get all this right away. If anything is unclear so far, that is totally fine, because I will use the rest of this post to explain everything above in more depth, followed by some examples. Hopefully, by the end of this post, everything becomes clearer for you.

Let's get on with it.

Falling in Love, Part II: Finding Love at First Sight

You can train yourself to find love at first sight regularly. It just requires two things: 1.) trained up empathy, and 2.) more noticing.
Dating Rules

This is Part II of a 2-part series on reaching the point where you feel comfortable feeling emotion for women. You can read Part I, on ending your own fear of romance, here.

In this article, we’ll discuss how to experience love at first sight... regularly.

love at first sight

How can you train yourself to spot girls who are perfect for you, feel that connection for them, and then, ideally, act on it?

There are three (3) prerequisites for you to do this:

  1. You must live in a decent-sized city (say, population over 500,000)
  2. You must have experienced love at first sight before
  3. You must be at least a little excited by beautiful women

It might still be (probably is) possible to pull this off if you’re missing one of the requirements, but you’ll face a bit of an uphill battle getting there.

For best results, you’ll want all three.

How to Handle Awkward Dating Situations

Awkwardness trips up a lot of men new to dating. Handling awkwardness has to do with trusting yourself, and building your experience.
Social Life

An attractive girl grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. We danced together for a couple seconds before I made up an excuse to stop dancing with her and ran off. I got scared that she would find out that I couldn’t dance and things would get awkward.


That night I walked home kicking myself, questioning what caused me to run away.

There was another time where I wanted to make a move on a girl that was my friend, but the time was never right. I was worried she might reject me and things might get awkward. I waited years to finally make a move but by that time the attraction was gone and she had moved me to the brother zone.

Finally, I have been in relationships where girls did little things that I didn’t like. But rather than bring it up early, I would bite my tongue. I was afraid to make things awkward. I would let these incidents happen until either she would lose respect for me or I would blow up on her about something insignificant.

Something that is not often discussed about success with women is how awkward things can get and how men’s fear of awkwardness leads to them never pushing the boundaries and holding back their success.

Sleazy Sex Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?

Sex talk can be extremely effective at turning women on. But what differentiates sleazy sex talk from sex talk that’s outright sexy?
Pickup Tech

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well. This post will be answering similar questions to last week’s post – discussing calibration and sexual escalation. Today however we will be more focused on sex talk.

sleazy sex talk

Before I begin, let me repost a relevant question from one of our readers “Anonymous”:

I was thinking, what’s the difference between the sleazy guys who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalation vs. sexy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalation? And I read your sequence in “Physical Escalation in Public”;What happens when we escalate at the wrong sequence (too much)? thanksalek ;)

Last time we discussed calibration and escalation. Some of the questions answered last time were:

  • When should one start to escalate

  • How can one escalate without triggering huge amounts of resistance

  • Tips and tricks to avoid resistance

  • How to calibrate your escalation

Now last time we discussed “escalation” in general without focusing too much on whether we were talking about verbal or physical (non-verbal) game, because the concepts discussed in the last post were applicable to both.

Anything discussed in the previous post is valid for verbal seduction (sex talk) and hence can work as a great foundation for what I am about to discuss here. Today however we will focus on calibrating sexual verbals, and learn how to avoid triggering resistance while doing so.

What Backward Rationalization is, and How It Affects You with Girls

Women frequently use backward rationalization to decide why something happened – even if their reasons aren’t the most accurate.
Female Mind

There’s a little-discussed concept in seduction called “backward rationalization”, where someone attributes reasons for a choice or action after-the-fact, rather than before it.

A simple example is you bring a girl home after a date and escalate on her, nearly to the point of sex. If you then have sex, there’s a good chance afterward she looks back and says, “Well, we had sex because he was attractive / charming / had a good body / etc.”

backward rationalization

If on the other hand you do not have sex, there’s a fair chance she looks back after and says, “Well, we didn’t have sex because I wasn’t really that into him.”

In both cases, it may have simply been that you pushed a little harder to get past last minute resistance in the first scenario, and in the second you got winded and gave up. But the narrative she retains about why you slept together or didn’t is completely different.

Backward rationalization can mean the difference between her thinking you’re great or her thinking you’re not... all due to the outcome you achieve with her.

Escalating on Her in a Controlled & Calibrated Way

Escalating physically and verbally on women can be difficult to do in a controlled way. Here’s how to calibrate your escalation to the girl.
Pickup Tech

Howdy all,

Today I decided to take the time to answer a question related to escalation (being physical or verbal), and more in particular about calibration – calibrating escalation to the girl and the situation.

escalate on her

In other words, the readers were curious how one can escalate while limiting their chances of facing resistance.

Many students of seduction struggle when it comes to escalation, because they lack calibration and can easily blow things off if they do things wrong. Now, being perfectly calibrated is impossible, but great calibration skills come from experience.

However, in this post I will give you some tools that will make things easier for you.

Now onto the questions:

A reader who posted as Anonymous asked the following:

I was thinking, what’s the difference between sleazy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames, and escalating vs. sexy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalating.

And I read your sequence in “Physical escalation in Public” What happens when we escalate at the wrong sequence (too much)? thanks alek ;)

In addition, Lawliet asked this:

Nice article bro!

Anonymous said something interesting. Got me thinking.

Just wondering what happens when we escalate too much too early or in the wrong order and what we can do to recover afterwards?

Best regards,


Both are very good questions and as they are both more or less related I decided to answer them in detail in this post.

4 Tension Locks to Use When You Talk to Girls

Famous movie seducers use them, and so can you: tension locks, a tool to regain control from girls about to dismiss you or ramble too much.
Pickup Tech

If you ever watch good verbal movie seductions – like, say, one featuring Sean Connery or George Clooney – you’ll notice there’s often a moment when the male suddenly cuts all the cute stuff, leans in, and says something that locks the tension in and dials it up through the roof.

This is usually the moment of the seduction when you smile to yourself and say, “Wow, he’s good.”

tension lock

Sometimes when one of these men do this, the woman in question is going off on a tangent, or rambling, or even panicking.

And then he just hushes her up, leans in, drops a little word bomb on her, and the tension goes through the roof.

If they’re somewhere private, they may start kissing... then disrobing. If they’re in public, the tension might be thick enough to chop with a meat cleaver (and the man will follow it up either by lightening the mood a bit to avoid cresting emotions too high and causing the spell to break... or by pulling her somewhere private, if it’s an option).

For the sake of discussing this technique more easily, I’m going to call the phrases the male uses ‘tension locks’; there are four (4) of them, they can be really effective, and best of all, you needn’t be a movie star or a master seducer to use them.

You just need to know what they are, and when to put them into play.

How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 5: Taboo as Aphrodisiac

In part 5, we explore what makes taboo such a mighty aphrodisiac. Also: what are the limits – what should you simply just not do in bed?
Female Mind

Now that we have thoroughly explored the Temple of Debauchery, we can clearly understand some of the why’s and how’s of these darkly beautiful acts.

But as a reminder, here are the first four articles of the series:

  1. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 1: All Women are Freaks
  2. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 2: Beginners Guide
  3. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 3: A Little More Kinky
  4. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 4: Shagging Like a Pornstar

At the end of the most recent article, I suggested that while sexual creativity is infinite, there are some limits to what you should do with women. But first, some of you might be asking a very reasonable question:

“Will every girl do ‘X’?”


If the man (or men) is sexy enough and if non-judgment and discretion are assured, then, yes, girls will do just about everything.


What the Romance Novel Tells Us Women Want

Romance novels contained distilled versions of women’s deepest fantasies. So what do they have to teach us about what women want? Tons.
Female Mind

romance novelIn 2013, women purchased over $800 million worth of romance novels.

They’re not doing that because their desires for erotic stimulation are fully sated by their real-life encounters; they’re doing that because they are STARVED for it.

Whether she’s 15 or 55, a woman loves the thought of being swept up with a Rochester or a Romeo. Yet, as she ages, and life repeatedly denies her this, her faith in ever experiencing such a romance wanes, and she retreats further into a world of make-believe, out-of-reach eroticism.

The success of the romance novel directly reflects this general discontent women have with men in the Anglosphere; its popularity implies that women largely are surrounded by men who are not satisfying them on an emotional level… let alone a physical one.

Because of this, if you can teach yourself to be a man who CAN provide erotic stimulation IN REAL LIFE, your relationships will shine with mutual satisfaction.

Sound like a tall order? Perhaps it is. Luckily, there is a cheat-sheet out there that makes manifesting this reality a little easier:

Romance novels.

How to Use Pattern Interrupts to Bust Through LMR

Much of LMR (last minute resistance) is a woman’s auto-response to standard escalation. With pattern interrupts, you can circumvent this.
Pickup Tech

Hey guys. Today I’ve decided to share a practical technique that will allow you to minimize your chances of facing last minute resistance (LMR). Last minute resistance is basically when you have managed to open and bring a girl back home and she backs off at the last minute when you are escalating to sex – i.e., pulling your hand away often followed with something along the line “I think we should wait, “I am not that kind of girl”, or “Maybe another time”.

pattern interrupt

I have shared numerous reports covering some real life seductions from A-Z. In the comment sections on these posts, some of you guys have asked me to write about last minute resistance. Unfortunately I was not able to write all too much about it in my reports, simply because I did not face any.

Now, if you do have some serious problems with last minute resistance, I would suggest you check out these posts first:

That being said, this post will help you avoid last minute resistance in the future and will be of great help if you are struggling with women backing off at the last minute.


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