Seduction

What’s more important, inner game or outer game? Both serve a purpose, but how and when you focus on each has a big impact on your understanding and success in pickup.

Hey guys.

Today I will share a reflection on the subject of “inner game.” I will be frank; I was not a big fan of the trend back in the late 2000s when the pickup industry moved away from technical seduction into a more “self-help” oriented approach, looking at how you think and feel, rather than what you should do.

In my opinion, the discussions on forums were better when there was a technical approach because people could more easily analyze what worked and what went wrong in particular situations, and individuals could fine-tune their approach and increase calibration.

With the focus on inner game, things got blurry. It became more difficult to discuss what worked and what didn’t. The concepts were vague and abstract, making them hard to prove and falsify. Theories became philosophical rather than scientific.

As a result, newbies grew more confused, and it was harder to help them because what these guys needed was specific advice on what to say and what to do when dealing with women – not telling them how they should think or feel about it.

The quality of posts went down, and it's amusing that many newbies were swearing to this new paradigm then. Yet most of them didn't really get results.

There is a reason for why technical game is making a comeback – because it works, and it tells you what to do. It allows people to share their tricks and to have others discuss and fine-tune them. It allows for innovation and new thinking.

I suspect that this inner game paradigm was, in a way, a response to the overly robotic aspect of the community’s early days. But just because these concepts became a bit too robotic doesn’t mean that going to another extreme is a good call. But that is what happened.

Nevertheless, the discussion today will be the good old debate of inner game (mindsets, realities, and understanding) versus outer game (hard pickup tech).

It’s a debate that is almost as old and tiresome as the “direct” versus “indirect” game argument. I have taken the liberty to write this piece because most people doing the debating have little experience (such discussions are keyboard jockey magnets), and I feel that many are still confused on the subject.

The points I will make are thoroughly subjective but built upon experience. Hopefully, you will find my arguments convincing, and I believe them to be strong – but they are just opinions at the end of the day.

Shy or not, the secret to getting a girl in bed is to move fast. But is the process of escalating to sex different with shy girls? Yes, and here’s how to do it.

This article is the unfortunate outcome of my many failures in pulling and escalation. People around me who know about my day game skills have been envious about my ability to meet a girl anywhere, any place, with little to no fear or anxiety. Guys tend to trip up most when it comes to approach anxiety and getting the guts to approach women – this doesn’t exist in my domain; I got over that fear many years ago.

Currently, my biggest sticking point has been at the very end of seduction – in the moment of pulling the girl back to my place, and in the moment of escalating with her. I must have lost over 200 girls by failing in the most critical point in the seduction – the moment when she’s already decided she wants to sleep with me, and I messed up with delivering on her wishes.

In this article, and in my next article series where I will discuss female self-esteem through all stages of seduction, we’re diving deep into how to escalate and close the deal with a girl when she’s at home alone (or wherever) with you, ready to have sex. Although different guys have different means to go about doing this, my focus here is on simplicity – how to read her and get her in bed with you depending on what kind of interest she shows in you.

Despite all my failures, there have also been many successes. Often failure is the best teacher – because through failure, you internalize a pattern so that you never trip up on it again, unless the pattern changes. So from my own failures as well as successes, let’s look at what patterns have visibly emerged.

Seduction is like music, where the instrument is your voice. Here’s how to develop a deeper, seductive voice that strikes a sexy chord with the ladies.

Ah, the voice. It’s one of the most powerfully seductive tools available to men. It’s extremely important for every seducer to develop his voice. Because when it’s used correctly, your voice will take your ability to lead, arouse, and even persuade women to astronomical heights.

You’ll even gain the ability to draw women in – right from the moment you open your mouth. This is an essential tool for dating success to ensure that you’re on the way to developing air-tight fundamentals, and it is especially important if you want to become a better conversationalist or use sex talk.

With a great voice, everything you say becomes inherently more interesting and emotionally stimulating. What’s more, this tool makes it much easier for you to ignite the flames of her sexual desire, filling her with lust just off the strength of your voice.

Women will more closely listen to what you have to say and be intrigued by it. And yet this key aspect of seduction is often overlooked by aspiring students of the game and experienced seducers alike – even though it’s one of the fundamentals for getting girls.

That’s why in this article we’re going to take a closer look at the voice. We’ll discuss what makes a good voice and detail steps you can start taking today to develop your voice to make sure that you’re on the way to getting this fundamental aspect of seduction down pat.

Girls chase men differently. Some chase in aggressive ways: they'll ask you out and touch you lots. Yet others are far more demure in how they chase.

On the spectrum of "how hard do girls chase?" we have a few distinct female profiles.

There are:

1. Girls who are chasers
2. Girls who are forward
3. Girls who are dabblers
4. Girls who are demure

Each of these types is a different type of woman. She expresses interest in and pursues men differently. Her behavior is often not so much determined by her interest level in you (though that's important) as it is her 'chase profile'.

A chaser who is very into you will chase hard in obvious ways. However, a demure girl who is very into you will only give you subtle indications of her pursuit, despite those pangs for you deep in her heart (and loins).

If you're only looking for chaser girls, you will miss out on most of the women who are into you, because most girls aren't chasers. Most will not chase in blatant, aggressive ways -- even if they're into you to the extreme.

Instead, you must recognize chase behavior from each of the four different types of girls.

Then, when you see it, pounce on it.

A great first kiss is what sets a steamy romance into motion. An awkward slurp might put the tension on ice, but a tantalizing lip-lock can lead to so much more.

The first kiss doesn’t need to be magical. It doesn’t need to be special. But it would be a lot better if it was. What is true to women in the context of romance is more about what feels true.

If she feels like a kiss was great, it will be true that it was great.

If she feels that she likes you, precisely because the kiss was so great, then it is true that she really likes you.

The exact nature of how women think and feel is better explained in my article on why women are emotional but not irrational.

To put it simply, what women feel is what’s real.

And for the sake of sexual strategy and navigating the social waters of the world, it’s quite an accurate compass. It’s far more accurate, on average, than cold logic.

How does this tie into giving her a great first kiss?

I explained it above. You want her to feel as if the first kiss was great, so she feels she likes you and that you two are having a great time together.

This may sound overly technical to some, and while I may even grant it is a bit nerdy, it doesn’t mean it’s not a good strategy.

As men, it’s generally good practice to go for strategy over feelings. I’m not saying don’t feel. That would be ridiculous. There would be no point to this entire website if we didn’t embrace our sexual and romantic desires toward women. You would be a machine who sleeps with women and dates them for purely intellectual rewards. That would be strange. Countless other pursuits would be more enjoyable on a purely intellectual field than seduction (and even then, you’re still chasing desire. Intellectual desires and carnal desires are only different in their appearance, but they are both desires all the same).

But enough philosophizing.

What is a good strategy for the first kiss?

There are many factors to cover, and some tips will be universal while others will be based on preference (i.e., you can choose to follow one tip rather than another).

Let’s get to it.

Knowing what to focus on in each phase of a seduction will facilitate a smooth end game. Get your priorities straight, and all else will fall into place.

Hey, guys. I’d like to finish off our discussions on frame control for now and transition into other subjects. Today’s article will cover priorities in pickup.

Instead of making an overly long series on frames, I decided to move on to a topic where frames play a major role but focus on a universal issue that I see many up-and-coming seducers struggling with – their priorities.

They may know all the right theories and the right tech. Perhaps, to some extent, they have their calibration in check, and their timing is decent. It is true that if you have all these covered, you are already pretty good, and you are probably getting a lot of results. However, I often see those guys not having their priorities straight. In other words, they focus on the wrong things at the wrong time or focus on the right things, but at the wrong time.

Yes, you will have different priorities. Are logistics important? Hell yeah! But are they important when you have not yet talked to the girl? Yes, they are still important, but you have other things to worry about.

That was an extreme example, but it gives a good impression of the theme of this post. So, what we will do in this post is to go through a textbook interaction and discuss step by step the best priorities to have within different phases as you progress.

Now, obviously every interaction is different, and many exceptions will occur. Of course, it’s impossible to cover every potential scenario. So I will give you an idealistic model on how most interactions take place, and how you can correctly prioritize things. Even though some interactions will follow different structures, I believe these rules will give you a good starting point that applies to most of your interactions. And even if your interactions follow the typical textbook course, there may be nuances that force you to make exceptions and change your priorities – something that is required quite often in pickup. In this case, do not be afraid to fail, as failure will give you invaluable field experience.

Therefore, this is yet another argument for why field experience is vital, because it gives you a better idea of how to adapt to different scenarios, including less common ones. But for now, let’s talk about the general rules.

Frame control is a master weapon in seduction. And “listing” is a great way to set frames with a girl by making you stand out as someone she’d love to have sex with.

We’ve been talking a lot about frame control lately, and I’d like to chime in with a specific technique I’ve found quite handy for setting frames. Namely, LISTING.

As a seducer, there are many frame control techniques and tactics at your disposal to aid you when it comes to getting girls. You can use these techniques to direct the flow of your conversations.

Some are persuasion tactics and specific techniques to set and solidify certain frames in your seductions. Sexual frames can benefit you by giving your interactions with women an exuberant air of sexuality that can ramp up her lust for you.

There are even ways you can use frame control to talk your way into higher levels of compliance with the girls you meet. These enable you to move fast, isolate her quickly, or even take her home just minutes after approaching. In fact, there are dozens of frame control techniques you can learn to help you with each and every one of these things.

And while it’s generally recommended that a seducer on the path toward mastery should expand his toolbox as much as possible, he should also learn as many of these techniques as he can to develop a varied arsenal and complete skill set. This is especially true for seducers who subscribe to the controller class. But unless that seducer is already at the advanced level in his journey, then this is a task that could be rather overwhelming.

Like I mentioned earlier, there are many, many frame control techniques out there, and after I took the time to learn and internalize a good chunk of them, I noticed that a number of these techniques are unfortunately quite complicated.

Faced with the task of learning all of these cutting-edge yet highly complicated techniques, it would be very easy for many students of the game to fall into information overload. It’s not difficult to end up confused and overwhelmed with the sheer number and complexity of these tactics.

But what if there was such a thing as a multipurpose frame control technique?

What if there were some extremely versatile techniques you could master that would enable you to enjoy several benefits that come with great frame control? So instead of having to learn dozens of different techniques, you could just learn a handful. After all, it’s easier to master one well-rounded method and make it a part of you first than to struggle while trying to learn nine or ten specific ones. Plus, once you’ve mastered one of these techniques and reached the point where you can use it naturally with unconscious competence – you can always come back and learn another.

The good news is these techniques do exist. And some of them are easy to learn and use.

In this article, we’re going to discuss one of these multipurpose frame control techniques. Listing is a technique I regularly use in the field because of its potency. By using listing, I was able to bed a number of pretty girls last year.

In this article, I’ll explain what listing is and how to use it. Then I’ll give some examples of how you can use this technique to accomplish a variety of important actions when it comes to getting girls. Listing can help you get better frame control and enjoy more success as a seducer.