Cold Reading Your Way to Great Conversations
Note from Chase: after good feedback on his first piece appearing on the article side of the site, on properly setting expectations, Richard - who posts on the discussion boards here under the alias "Zphix" - started work on a few more articles, including this one, on cold reading techniques and usage. While we have an article up already on cold reading - see "Employing the Cold Read to Unlock Women's Secrets" if you're unfamiliar with the subject - this one from Richard explores the subject in a number of nuanced and specific other ways.
You’re no doubt familiar, at least in passing, with the gypsies of Medieval times; with tarot cards, palmistry, clairvoyance; and all the other “psychic” phenomena. Today we’re diving back into the wonderful art of cold reading to better enable you to have yourself a sweet (and magical) time with that sexy girl you’ve got in your sights.
Cold reading according to Wikipedia is defined as:
“[A] series of techniques used by mentalists, psychics, fortune tellers, mediums and illusionists to determine or express details about another person, often in order to convince them that the reader knows much more about a subject than they actually do.”
For you as a seducer, as a conversationalist, and as a ladies’ man, this is only partially true. Yes, you’ll be getting some information out of her via cold reading... but what you’re really doing is easing pressure, allowing for a deep dive, and building compliance.
The Vibe You Want
All of us have seen the presentation that “psychics” generally give off. They ask you if you believe in psychic channels, in readings, in mysticism, and really use a lot of emotional contagion to get you revved up for it! For the most part though, this is all just for show.
The vibe that you will want to convey, rather than being one of the all-powerful mystic, is one of understanding, charisma, confidence, and intimacy. But, aren’t these qualities we strive for as charmers and seducers anyway?
The biggest key here is intimacy, whether sexual, sensual, or romantic. Take your natural vibe, or the vibe you currently give off, and simply adapt it to your reading for a more natural vibe.
The Transition to Cold Reading
Cold reading is useful in your interactions with women largely for deep diving and generating investment, so you’ll want to establish your initial conversation before you can begin to use reading to your advantage.
When you’re building a bit of light rapport, and having fun in the conversation, you’ll often find many points where you can transition into a deep dive. But, how do you know what points those are? Simple!
Look for a point in conversation where a new woman you’re speaking with reveals a small bit of information about herself or her emotions.
That point could be:
- When she’s talking about her job
- When she mentions why she’s at the mall or store you’ve met her at
- How she takes a compliment you’ve paid her
Something you can play around with, too, is what I call the “mystery aspect” - something you can do to prime her for a cold reading, to get her thinking about it.
At this point, your ability to read becomes more naturally integrated with your overall “game,” because you’ll be using baiting to get her chasing the read, and consequently chasing you. Something like this:
You: “Hey so and so, you may not believe me... but I’m psychic.” [obviously playful tone]
Her: “Ohhh really!? Prove it mister mind reader!”
You: “Oh, a little anxious are we? All in good time; all in good time.”
This is a hooking point, because even though you’re obviously kidding, she knows you said this for a reason, so she starts to think about it, it starts to seep in, and she becomes curious. The “mystery aspect” - the intrigue you build - comes because you’re not revealing anything about your psychic ability, so she begins to chase that mystery.
If you decide to use a style like this, then understand that there is no set transition point; it’s up to you, the reader, to pick your own point as you see fit here.
Originally, I was going to discuss the five cold reading techniques with the highest levels of efficacy, but by reason of not overwhelming you in my first post on this topic, I’ll leave a few out for now.
You’re familiar with the yes-ladder, right? If not, a yes-ladder is a tool for stringing together a series of 'yes'es from someone, and that helps us with women inasmuch as once a girl has said yes once already, she’s more likely to say yes again, allowing you to build up to better and better questions and greater and greater compliance requests.
Cold reading, too, has a ladder. You’ll want to aim for three to four reads that progressively get more intense. You’ll also want to tackle two or three general qualities and one (1) hardcore quality. You have a handful of options about what qualities you explore; I generally choose emotion, personality, and sexuality to highlight in a woman I’m speaking with, myself.
The transition point is the first step of the ladder; it’s the first statement to get your cold reading momentum going. The instant a girl reveals a bit about herself, pounce! You can say anything like:
- You’re a bit clumsy sometimes!
- You think too much.
- You’re nervous in large crowds.
- You second-guess yourself.
General statements (that are true of most anyone, but SOUND very targeted) that get the ball rolling. This initiates a response: an emotion that brings you to the next level of the ladder.
From here, you’ll want to do another generic cold read that singles out her emotional response. This particular technique is called the Rainbow Ruse, and is broken into two parts tactfully. Some women will act a little nervous, or excited: “Why did you bring that up?” they’ll say, sway their hips, give some sort of response - and you single it out.
- “When you’re nervous, you lose control”
- “You’ve got nervous tells; don’t go to Vegas and play poker!”
- “You feel ashamed when you second-guess yourself.”
- “You’re pretty happy when you help others.”
These statements move you and her up the ladder, and again, you get more compliance and can more easily deep dive because at this point, women will generally agree with you, be astounded that you know as much about them as you do, or give you a story or example of the statement you’ve just made about them (this is called memory recall).
At this point, you’ll want to initiate the other half of the Rainbow Ruse, and cover your first read’s opposite. Something like:
“ You know what that means, right? It actually means you meet a lot of high quality people.”
“You know what that means, you’re a perfectionist who likes to get the job done efficiently the first time, no wasted energy for you.”
“That just means you’re a wonderful caring person, and look to be the best you can be, constantly trying to improve yourself.”
Again, there is compliance as long as she rolls with it. At this point you have either done two or three more or less generic reads, and it’s time to perform a hardcore cold read. She’s already complied with you at least twice at this point, and her position on the ladder now allows us to expect that she’ll usually at this point be compliant again and again.
With this final cold read on the ladder, you want it to hit one of the three points you’ve chosen; for me, it was emotion, personality, or sexuality. You can hit one of these like so:
“You know Abigail, this means your biggest fear is being alone. Maybe not at this moment, but, you’re afraid of being by yourself.” [emotion and personality]
“That means a goal you have is to be successful, and your biggest fear is that you will fall short of your expectations for yourself. Sometimes it would be best for you to take a step back, relax and have some fun.” [emotion, personality, and an opportunity for sexual framing]
“A caring person like you probably has dreams of having a big family, and being a provider for your children. Watching them grow up, feeling nostalgic in their success, feeling proud as a parent.” [emotional and personality]
These are immensely more personal and give adequate room for a deep dive, but they’re fun and enjoyable on both sides... and that’s why they’re great tools for your arsenal.
The Importance of Cold Reading
We’ve all been there: successful deep dives that, while getting to the meat of her, really just felt mundane and dull. Cold reading, however, offers a refreshing and vibrant alternative: it’s fun and interactive for both of you.
It’s a testament to how much she likes you because her following your reads as you progress up the ladder is compliance on her part... she won’t give it to you if she doesn’t like you (no need to worry about “tricking” women here, obviously, as the only women who’ll go along with your reads are the ones looking to feel good around you in the first place and are already receptive to you).
Cold reading is a catalyst to the traditional deep dive. It’s a way for you to open her up without feeling any pressure because it’s natural for her to respond to your readings by giving you information about herself.
It allows for an insane deep dive in a harmless way - after pulling some information out of her, it’s easy for you to connect with her in a deep and meaningful way, and really rev up her attraction for you!
A combination of all the reads on the ladder in one fell swoop looks something like this:
“I can tell just from talking to you that you’re a really caring and easygoing person. But you’re biggest fear, that fear of being alone, or feeling inadequate in some ways actually holds you back a lot of the time, and I can totally understand that because I have fears too, but I’ve learned to control them just like you can.”
Just take a moment, and think up a list of all the principles of seduction that are in that one statement alone: understanding women, expressing similarity, showing dominance, displaying Byronic personality traits, deep diving, rapport, and intimacy.
That’s why cold reading is such a powerful tool to have in your arsenal. It allows you to express in one short sequence a lot of the things you want to express in your interactions with women overall.
If you enjoyed this article, then stay tuned folks, as I’ll be diving into specific cold reading techniques, as well as the turning of a failed read into a success.
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