Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance


how to say noIn Part 3 of my 3-part series on compliance, I’ll be discussing how to say no to people who want compliance out of you – and when specifically to say it (as opposed to saying yes).

You can read Parts 1 and 2 of the series here:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?

Turning down compliance is actually an especially dicey area for most. Even for experienced guys... even for men who are naturals socially... you will run into the odd situation here and there where you aren’t sure whether to say yes or no, and aren’t sure how to say no even if you probably should.

Tell me you’ve been here before: there’s a really cute girl, and you really dig her, yet the dynamic you have with her is just that you’re chasing her a little bit too much... yet, you sense that if you let up even a bit, she’s going to vanish off into the ether.

And then, out of the blue, she says: “Can you wait here a minute? I have to go make a phone call,” then turns to go leave.

Can you say no to this? Should you? What’s your play?

You can sense that letting her do this only worsens your position with her and moves you farther away from getting anywhere with her... but you just don’t know what else to do.

Don’t Get Too Comfortable with Your Friends


I have a hundred stories of me making the mistake of letting my friends cling onto me when out, only to get caught up in their expectations for failure rather than blazing a trail.

Whilst I thought I could drag them along, the reality was that, in order to alleviate their discomfort, I made minor concessions which ultimately caused me to lose my edge (important while learning the ropes).

friends while out

Fortunately though, I have had thousands of other experiences where I didn’t let people cling, and through those experiences have managed to learn how to handle friends on a night out. I’m going to share with you some of my secrets for surviving your friends right now.

How to Arouse a Woman


how to arouse a womanYou’ve approached a woman. You went up to her and joked around about her polka dot dress and vintage style. She laughed, and made further inquiry into who this intrepid gentlemen is. You begin to tell her about yourself and launch into a quality conversation.

You starting thinking to yourself: “Wow. This girl is really something.” She tells you an embarrassing story about how she peed her pants when she was a kid. This makes her seem so down to earth despite how beautiful you find her.

You two like the same music. You’ve traveled to some of the same places. You have similar life values. You think, “This is it. Finally, I’ve found a quality woman.”

You ask her out. “Hey, Julia, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you here…”

She replies. “Yes! I would love to!”

You’re elated. You swap numbers with her as your heart is pounding. Then you say your goodbyes, ready to leap out of your body with joy.

“It was great meeting you. I look forward to our adventure Julia!”

She reciprocates your goodbye: “It was great meeting you too! I look forward to going out… as friends.”

You stop dead in your tracks. You double-take to make sure you heard her correctly. Friends? Did she just say friends? How is that possible?

How is that possible? You did everything right, right? Wrong. In this scenario, you successfully connected with her, but you failed to arouse her.

Connection is an important component of arousal, but it’s far from the whole story.

So if you’ve ever found yourself in this – or a similar – situation, today I’m going to break down everything involved in how to arouse a woman.

Pickup Footage Breakdown: What Day Game Really Looks Like


Day game is something that is extremely foreign to a large body of people. It’s an exceedingly rare thing to see a man approach a random girl on the street simply to get to know her because he thought she was cute, which can cause a lot of guys to back off and move into more familiar territory such as night game.

However, as it’s been previously discussed, pursuing women only during the night can lead to a large imbalance in the type of women you’re meeting; you’re meeting girls who appear to be hot, rather than women who are hot.

What’s a man to do if he has no experience talking to random girls on the street?

footage: day game

Sure, you can throw him out there and let him take tactics from paper and try to translate them to real life, but having a successful model to emulate will carry you that much further and accelerate your learning curve that much faster.

And this is why we’ve come together to develop a series that takes some of the best video footage from the world of pickup in order convey our message more clearly; not only are you going to read about these topics, you’re going to see them in action.

Just like I’d analyze a field report on the discussion boards, I am going to take these videos and display them while providing my own commentary below with specific references to different parts of the video.

You’ll get to look in-depth at someone who either consciously or subconsciously does things that work with women – all with some commentary from me that will lift the veil on everything that appears to just magically work.

First up to discuss is a short, sweet interaction demonstrating how easy things are once you’ve got your fundamentals running and can come off as an attractive, high-value guy.

Why Do We Label Women “Sluts”?


One of our discussion forum members started a thread asking whether, when surrounded by women decrying the slut label, he should be truthful to himself and state that there’s a good reason behind this label, or whether he should tell women like this what they want to hear (and what he probably needs to say if he wants to sleep with them): that he thinks such a label is totally unreasonable... even if this is being untruthful to himself.

That’s an interesting question, but one I think that the answer to (supposing your goal is to become a real “knock her socks off” ladies man) is a fairly simple “fake it till you make it.”

That is to say, you may think she’s a “slut” now... but once you’ve got a significantly larger amount of sexual experience under your belt, you’re probably not going to care one way or the other about what label fits her best. So might as well just act like you’re already there and get the girl in the meantime. You’ll be glad you did later.

women sluts

But that raised an interesting question for me: why is that newer guys and less experienced guys or, alternately, bitter guys (not necessarily the same as new/inexperienced guys), use the “slut” label on women... while more experienced guys who’ve made their peace with women’s sexuality don’t really care?

What If She Says No?


You did it; you took the plunge and asked her to do something... to come with you, go out with you, tell you something, show you something... to invest.

And now, she’s said no.

what if she says no

Well what exactly do you do? What do you do when she says no?

This is a pressing question for men. If guys didn’t worry about answering the “what if she says no?” question, men everywhere would walk up to the women they wanted and address them with reckless abandon.

There’d be no “missed connections”; no “I saw this beautiful girl today, and she saw me, and I wish I’d gone and said something to her.”

No more “waiting for the right moment”... not really.

Because there’d be no fear of looking awkward and feeling uncomfortable if it didn’t work out. Yet, this is not the case, because men generally do not know how to handle a no.

In Part 2 of our 3-part series on compliance (you can read Part 1 here: How to Get Her to Say “Yes”), we’re going to tackle your options for how to proceed when you get a “no.”

How to Get Her to Say “Yes”


You meet a girl, and it’s going okay. She’s chatting with you, seems nice enough, and isn’t trying to pry herself away like those girls who really obviously aren’t into you do. Yet, she isn’t exactly throwing herself at you, either.

So, you decide to get some more investment from her; partly as a compliance test to see where you’re at, and partly also to ratchet up attraction by making her get a foot in the game too (instead of sitting on the bench watching you play).

To do this, you ask her to move a little ways with you: “Hey, let’s move over there, the lighting’s much better.”

But, she says no: “I’m comfortable here, I don’t want to move.”

get her to say yes

Gulp. What do you do now?

If you stay and keep talking as if nothing happened, you’ve yielded control of the interaction to her, and if experience has told you anything it’s that whatever chances you had before are sunk now.

Yet if you leave, the chance you’ll get another shot with her is not so hot; you can always reopen her later on, but there’s a good chance she’ll be gone or locked up in conversation with someone else by then, and you won’t exactly be riding back in on a majestic white horse at that point either. You’ll just be that guy she didn’t connect with earlier who circles back around for another shot.

As a third alternative, you could launch into a hard push... but she’s not that sold on you yet so you realize your chances of pulling this off are dim, and besides, you don’t really want to pull the nuke out of your arsenal this early on and launch into a battle of wills before the game is even afoot.

At this point, it may well seem like your interaction with her is all out of gas, and you’ve no choice left but to pull off the highway and hitchhike home.

But what if she says no and you respond another way?

What Sexy Is and How to Be It


sexyAs I walk around the streets of my city, I’m usually struck by three things. The first is the beauty of nature. I think it’s important to stop and appreciate the beautiful things that surround us all and to really remember that life, and the world, is more than just about our singular and, honestly, not very special existence. In a way, you have to stop and smell the roses.

The second thing I’m struck by is sexy women. Women who are dressed well, know how to flaunt their bodies, and are dripping with sexuality are most certainly drawing the attention of all of the men around them – yours truly included (though I am probably more subtle about it).

The third thing, believe it or not, is actually sexy men. I can really appreciate a stylish, confident man. When I see one, I often think to myself “He must get a lot of women, get a lot of attention from women, or at least should. And if he doesn’t, he should be reading Girls Chase.” But for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on the latter two things that strike me.

Which leads to the question: What actually is sexy? What makes a sexy man or a sexy woman? And more importantly, how do you become the one that applies to you? And it is very important that the world be filled with more sexy men and women. So making this transformation is what this post will be dedicated to.

First Time Picking Up Girls? 3 Key Mindsets to Help


First time at a bar picking up girls or going out on a hunch? Here are the three things you should do to optimize your chance for growth... and a few things I would have done different my first time around if I could do it all again.

first time picking up

All three points I am going to share with you will serve to illustrate a deep principle at the heart of improving with women.

Whether it is your first time heading out or if you are just curious about how you measure up and if your fundamentals are good or not, there will be a few thought-provoking ideas to be found here.

Your Animal Side: What She Truly Needs to be Aroused


animal sideBehind the boastful brain and flashy neocortex of humans lies something much more basic, yet not fully understood. Like all other sexual creatures, we are subject to an instinctive, animalistic sexual desire, which guides us through our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex.

For other creatures, sex is quite simple.

One of our closest extant relatives, the Bonobo, uses sex quite frequently. They do not engage in sexual monogamy, but rather use sex in all manner of social interactions. They use sex as a greeting, for reproduction, and as a method of bond-forming between women inside a group. In short, they have sex, and they have it often.

This is a far cry from the typical human civilization. Questions of maintaining said amount of sexual activity aside, sex just doesn’t come as easily for us humans. We often place value in social status, mating with the correct people, and avoiding mating with those that would take away from our value, rather than add to it.

Even when you throw out any social status issues, sex just doesn’t come as easily for some men. Why is that?