Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Like a Moth to the Flame


I used to think the old phrasing was a fairly straightforward affair. Moths, and flames... one remains in place, bright and beckoning, while the other flutters toward it with abandon, desperate to bask in the light of its warmth and radiance.

“Be the flame, not the moth,” advised Casanova... and it would seem to be simple enough advice.

moth to the flame

Yet, one of the things that you learn you must be as you drive ever deeper into seduction is nuanced, not straightforward.

Complex, not simple.

A woman does not fancy a man who is too easily understood. Nor is being that man quite nearly as interesting.

And I realized, while thinking some things over one night working in a room, watching a number of large brown moths fluttering frantically and futilely at my window screen to enter the room and reach the light, and a number of smaller insects that had dropped, burned and singed onto my bed cover, after having attained the object that called to them so alluringly from the ceiling above, that this turn of the phrase was one that, like the men and women it describes, has a bit more nuance to it than it seems at first.

Meeting and Dating Submissive Women


Meeting a woman who will follow your lead, take care of you, and maybe even cook a delicious meal every once in a while is the dream for most men.

submissive women

However, with the direction that social dynamics are heading in the West, this is a dream that is slipping away from the hands of most men. So how do you find submissive women? What’s it like to date a woman who will go out of her way to please you? And why is it so satisfying to have this kind of woman for most men?

These are the questions that I will be tackling today.

4 Example Conversations: Friendly, Sexual, and 2 More


example conversationsIn a previous article (“Do You Lead Conversations… Or Leave Others Hanging?”) I explained some different styles of conversation.

In this article I’m going to go into each type of conversation a little more in-depth, showing you examples and otherwise generally walking you through them so you can get a better picture of what the different types of conversation look like:

  • Friends
  • Casual Sex
  • Spontaneous
  • Finding Out More

Which one you pick for any given situation all depends on what you’re looking for.

Sexual Liberalism


sexual liberalismIn a recent article of mine I discussed “sexual freedom”, and there we covered not only what sexual freedom was but also discussed different argument for and against it. However, it is very obvious that my post was very pro sexual liberalism.

To recap quickly, in that post we described sexual liberalism as a position that allows individuals to engage in, without any judgement from others, their desired sexual practices. Most Western countries for instance do not legally restrict all that many sexual practices between two consenting adults.

Yet we agreed that sexual freedom should have some limits. For example, we would all agree here that we should not be allowed to rape anyone (I really hope you all agree!) nor cause any severe long-lasting harm to our sexual partners – like most of us would find it noxious that someone went around spreading HIV on purpose.

In other words, we want consensual sex and to minimize the possible harms of certain sexual practices. But pretty much these limitations of sexual freedom serve one and only one purpose: maximize and protect the sexual freedom of each individual. Think about it: how much sexual freedom does a rape victim have when she is being raped?

But what about other restrictions? What about sleeping with other people’s partners? What about women “slutting around” or men “perving around”? And finally, what about monogamy and the conservative family?

How Much Effort Does Life Take?


When I first read about the Law of Least Effort, it was as if everything suddenly made sense. I thought that learning about expending effort would put me leagues ahead of other men, as I knew that I didn’t have to act all crazy and get into these long-winded conversations to get with girls; I could just be like all those cool guys who had women chasing and crawling all over them.

effort for life

Unfortunately, I took the definition of the Law of Least Effort a bit too literally.

I started expending next to no effort in an attempt to not appear try-hard. However, when you expend hardly any effort, you aren’t going to get any results.

Rather than achieving what I was setting off to do, I became a closed off and virtual unknown to women. I’d go out and see attractive woman, thinking that things would be so much better if I had them chasing me and carrying the conversation all on their own. I thought that by sitting around and doing next to nothing women would flock to me and up my cool factor exponentially.

After all – I was effortless, wasn’t I?

But women rarely approached me. When you’re risk averse and don’t put forward any effort, you won’t gain anything.

It turns out that I was missing one vital point of the Law of Least Effort. You must expend as little effort as possible while still achieving what you’ve set out to do.

How to Be Cool: The Ultimate 4-Part Coolness Formula


I taught myself how to be “cool” as a junior high student many years ago. It was an intuitive process for me at the time, though filled with social experiments and trial and error – and lots of beating up on myself to get it just right.

I’ve spent years trying to figure out a good way to teach all the aspects of being cool. A way to boil it all down to something simple, streamlined, and easily remembered and used by anyone who aspires to “cool”: who wants to be that person that everybody else just looks at and says, “Man, that guy is cool.”

how to be cool

How do you transform someone who “doesn’t get it” – whom others laugh at, make fun of, disrespect, or ignore – into someone they look up to, gravitate toward, and esteem?

To do this, of course, you need good tactics – you need to be able to give them the “what to do”; but more than this, you need the underlying principles: what is it about cool people that just makes them so damn cool?

Well, after years of non-starters on an article about this, I will say that I have successfully boiled “cool” down to four (4) core elements that are eminently doable and absolutely teachable.

Get all four of these right, and you will be – without question – unstoppably, unspeakably, almost unbearably cool.

And the best news is, all any of them takes is a little practice and, yes... a little discipline.

Why Vulnerability Makes You More Attractive to Women


vulnerabilityA while back I wrote a post on connecting with people. There, I touched on why vulnerability works to connect people from a psychological standpoint and laid the foundation for why it works on women.

But I wanted to expand on why exactly vulnerability makes you more attractive to women.

You see, vulnerability must be used correctly. It isn’t a prescription or excuse to start spilling your guts. So today I’m going to talk about how to use vulnerability effectively and what frames you must maintain in order to maximize your attractiveness to the fairer sex.

How to Have Safe Sex with Women You've Just Met


safe sexIn this article, I will share some advice on how to have literally safe sex. “Safe sex” does not only mean knowing how to avoid STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) or unwanted pregnancies – there are also many more risks out there to be aware of.

Now, I hope I will not scare you away from seducing women – that is not my purpose. In most cases, casual sex does not lead to any dramatic consequences, but, very rarely, they do happen. In this post I will share some advice that will reduce the risk of any negative consequences from having casual sex.

Again, most of the time, you will be fine. Serious consequences from having casual sex occur rarely, yet they do happen, and if you have forgotten to read this post, you may regret it later. Fact is, this post might not be the most exciting to read, but it will cover some simple tools that allow you to have a lot of fun without worrying.

Tough Time Socially in College? Here's What to Change


There are a lot of expectations and fears clashing with each other when you reach college, and it is easy to get lost in what just comes easiest socially, romantically, and sexually.

But what is the approach you must take to open your mind and achieve some great results and memories while there?

tough time college

The most common approach to socializing, fraternizing, and dating in college is a “build it and they will come” philosophy, or “let us wait and see”, because we expect things to magically change and don’t want to rely on who we are because “like always” there is a greater risk involved in taking initiative due to the perceived separation it creates from you (the action taker) and others (the majority of people doing what the majority does, following the same wait and see approach).

And if you are separate from the people around you, “how can you capitalize on the social abundance that is talked about?” you wonder.

Effortless Leading: Get Her to Buy In


If you’ve ever been tricked or convinced to do something against your original intentions, you’ve been on the receiving end of a failure to get buy in before an action.

When I was a teenager, my parents would always try and convince me and my brothers to get jobs. It’s quite funny that having them tell us to do this actually made us less likely to get jobs, because they were constantly on our backs about it.

They made it seem like it was something that we needed to do against our will. Thus, it was us against them; we had to give excuses as to why we couldn’t get the job, and skillfully dodge being told what to do.

buy in

Convincing people to do things isn’t as simple as telling them what to do.

If I could walk up to a woman and make the first thing out of my mouth be, “Come home with me,” and she immediately acquiesced and did, I wouldn’t be spending time with her creating an emotional connection, comfort, and sexual attraction. In fact, if I made this the first thing out of my mouth she would likely very heavily resist any intention of coming home with me, even if I was the sexiest man on the planet.

She would resist because I failed to get her to buy in to the idea of coming home with me. She had no say in the matter, and thus felt like she was being coerced into doing what I wanted, rather than doing something that was mutually beneficial.

Sleeping with each other requires the collective conscious of both parties involved. She’s not your slave, which makes it absolutely necessary that she is thought of as an equal in the mating game.