Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: Do You Eject from Dates or Pickups Too Soon?

eject too soon
You’ve met a girl, it’s going fine, and then you just... Eject, too soon. You leave too early. You beat yourself up about it later – but what could you have done then?

Want a simple way to get more success out of your dates, courtships, pickups, etc.?

Here it is: don’t eject so fast.

Early ejection plagues beginners in seduction. And the wound is a self-inflicted one.

This sound at all familiar?:

You got up the nerve to approach a girl. She’s cute. Real cute. Your heart rate is going 200 beats per minute. And it’s going okay. She smiled when you walked up, she said “hello”, and now she’s responding to your questions and asking you some back. You make a light joke and she laughs. Yet the pressure just builds and builds. Finally, you excuse yourself: “All right, well, it was nice to meet you!” And then you leave.

You didn’t ask her out; you didn’t take her phone number. Things were going okay, but then you bailed. You had to hit the eject button.

Why does this happen? Well, fear, mostly.

What can you do about it? Well, we’re going to talk about that.

What Percent Impact Does Race Have on Attractiveness?

race attractiveness and dating
Race is a touchy subject in dating and attraction. How much does it really impact your desirability? Anywhere from +19% to -30%, it turns out.

We’ve talked about race off and on at Girls Chase. My usual advice is to not worry about it too much, because you can’t change it; there are so many attraction factors you can focus on that it’s effectively not that relevant most of the time. And if you get your fundamentals tight enough, you transcend race (or negative racial effects become bonuses – “Oh! I didn’t know X race guys could be like him!”).

William talked about race here: “Everything I Know About Race and Dating Girls”, and Jerome discussed it (with a few thoughts by me) here: “Asian Guys and White Girls: The Secret to Success.” And I called out guys who focus on race (or other subjects) to the exclusion of all else here: “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK].”

At the risk of opening up a can of worms (i.e., the “my race has a negative impact, therefore I shouldn’t even try” worm can), I’d like to look at some of the actual data on racial preferences... As well as how these change with time.

How Screening Game (Sniper Game) Compares to Traditional Game

screening game
Screening game or sniper game is targeting your approach to girls who seem open to you. It has pros over traditional game – but also cons.

Hi. I hope you are doing great. Today I will discuss a new trend that I have seen in this community – a new trend when it comes to approaching girls. Trends come and go in this community, and the latest is situated around what is referred to as screening game.

Now, it doesn’t matter whether or not you have dived deep into this community and learned about the trends – maybe you are just a simple reader or maybe a new reader. I will make sure you get what “screening game” (also called “sniper game”) is. It is a pretty cool form of game. I will list the pros and cons of it and compare it to standard traditional non-screening game... Before I talk about what I personally prefer and like to do when I am meeting women.

Before I begin, I just want to let you know that both styles I will discuss in this article work pretty well, and it is all a matter of personal preference. I do believe, however, that it is key to at least get a grasp on both styles – and preferably learn both.

Men are Penetrators. Women are Receivers

receivers and penetrators
A man’s ability to penetrate defines him, just as a woman’s capacity to receive defines her. But it isn’t just physical penetration: it’s mental and emotional too.

What is different between woman and man?

In 1908, Sigmund Freud introduced the concept of ‘penis envy’ in his article “On the Sexual Theories of Children.” The (rather circuitous) thought process Freud believed little girls went through included wanting to have sex with their mothers, realizing they lacked the equipment for this, then blaming their mothers for their ‘castration’ and turning their affections toward their fathers.

Freud himself admitted not really ‘getting’ women, and his attempts to psychoanalyze them seem to make clear he never really did ‘get’ them.

Yet ‘penis envy’ is a real phenomenon (even if it may not come about quite as Freud imagined). More or less every woman experiences, at some point, the desire to be the penetrator herself. To know what it feels like to thrust the reproductive part of her body into the body of another. Even women, who cannot penetrate, recognize the power of the role.

Men who struggle with masculinity invariably are men who have lost sight of this uniquely masculine role – the role of the penetrator. And they have forgotten women’s uniquely feminine one – the role of recipient. Unlocking masculinity in yourself, and unlocking femininity in the women around you, comes down, to large extent, to this question: can you penetrate, and will she receive?

3 Ways to Make a Bitchy Girl Submit

bitchy girl
She isn’t always a bitch. And she will warm up... For the right guy. To melt the freeze around her heart, get ready to pull your pickaxe out.

I love bitchy women.

They’re tough, sassy, sexy, and some of the best allies once you have them on your side. Some men make the mistake of either submitting to a woman’s ferocity or getting butt-hurt. The former category of men become orbiters and earn from her only disgust. The latter become manosphere advocates and misogynists who travel to more “conservative” countries in search of “traditional women” to marry.

Both are reactions of fear rather than strength and love. I suggest an alternative path to dealing with bitchiness: ravish her whirlwinds of anger like a titan. Then, when the storm dies and you and she are still standing, ravish her or anyone around who has been witness to your strength.

Here are three ways to do that, starting with my favorite.

Tactics Tuesdays: How and When to Change Venues on a Date or Pickup

change venues
If you need to move things along on a date or in a pickup but it’s too soon to take her home, often the next best option is to change venues.

At times you’ll have things going well with a girl, but not well enough yet you’re ready to take her home. Even still, you reach one of those moments in the courtship where, like it or not, you’ve got to move her.

Moving her around in the same venue won’t work at this point. It works terrific early on, but you’re too far along for it now and it’ll feel like you’re treading water... or even going backwards.

You need movement, but you can’t stay there. And you can’t take her home. So what can you do?

You change venues. One venue to another venue.

The venue change is a handy tool in both dates and pickups. It’s a vital element of instant dates, structured dates, and often many guys’ one-night stand processes. But it’s also a tactic rife with potential to drop the ball.

Take her to the wrong place, and you kill the vibe.

Fail to handle the transition well, and you kill the vibe.

Misread her desires and change venues when she really wanted you to just take her home, and you risk missing the escalation window, and kill the vibe.

So let’s arm you with a few tools to let you read her right, take her to the right spot, and make your venue change as likely to lead to a pull home at the end of your date or pickup as anything else.

9 Things that Make You a Total Buzzkill to Other People

Make the wrong social move, and you’re a buzzkill no one wants to be around. There are nine (9) such wrong moves, including bad topics, zero confidence, and talking over the other party.

A reader asks:

Chase, could you write about things that turn you into a buzzkill around people? I read your article on how to overcome depression and I’m currently working hard to get myself out that rut. But sometimes when I’m around people I turn into buzz killington without even knowing it. What are the things I can consciously do to hide my depression?

It’s a great question.

This site’s about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, self-improvement, and doing better. Various guys start out at various places. Some guys start out dealing with depression or saddled with victim mentality. Either of these can make you a downer in conversation who sends others running in the opposite direction.

Or even if these aren’t your particular afflictions and you’re content with life, you still may have behaviors you’ve picked up somewhere that inadvertently make you a total buzzkill to other people... Without even realizing you’re doing it.

So, to help you be a more pleasant interlocutor and allow you to rack up positive conversational reference points all the faster, I’ve compiled a list of nine (9) things that serve to kill the buzz any time you use them in a conversation with other people.

Stamp these behaviors out of your repartee repertoire, and you’ll notice people start to like you a whole lot more, more girls say “yes” when you ask them out, and more of the folks you meet want to see you again and include you in what they’re doing.

Here’s our list.

Actors vs. Bonders: Girls Who Focus on Appearances

appearance focused girls
Some girls focus on appearance above all. Others focus on bonding. Which girl you pick makes a big difference on the relationship you enjoy.

One friend of mine had a girlfriend who attached herself to him when his career was strong, his reputation was great, and his money was solid... only for her to leave when he lost his career, his income took a big hit, and his self-confidence became shaken. A little while later, once everything was back in order and he was doing great again, the girl came back.

Another friend of mine had a girl he’d slept with (among many others) whom he contacted later on, only for her to threaten to “call some big guys” to come mess him up if he contacted her again. This was after a smear campaign against him to ruin him socially turned friends of his against him (while others stayed loyal to him and fought the rumors). The girl in question was obviously one of those swayed, and flipped from major fan of his to throwing him under the bus without hesitation.

Two different friends, with two different girls, in two different situations. Both had one thing in common though, and that one thing was the same thing I see guys who get burned by flashy foreign brides or sexy bombshell girlfriends or any kind of girl remotely like this: they picked the appearance-focused girl instead of the connection-focused one.

Attract Her Harder with the NLP Contrast Technique

attract her
When you contrast yourself with unattractive men, you attract her more. The key lies in how you highlight their traits versus yours.

Hello everyone. I hope you are doing great. Today I will share another NLP-based technique that you can use to trigger attraction and to make women perceive you as the right guy – for her.

What if you could contrast yourself against all the boring girls a guy meets, and be that much more delicious for her? Wouldn’t that do awesome things for your ability to attract her (and your success rates from those attractions)?

Many men get kind of scared when they see NLP-based material like what I’ll give you today, but I promise you that this technique is actually pretty simple. In addition, this technique that I am about to share is rather risk-free. There’s very little chance it backfires on you.

Worst-case scenario, it won’t work as well as you expect. But I will tell you, the results for me from this technique have consistently been amazing. This is a technique I use a lot when I go out to meet women, and it helps speed up the process.

I will first get straight to what the technique is, then I will explain the mechanism and discuss briefly when one can use it. I will later share some examples in order to make sure you get an idea of how this works.

She’ll Do What She Has to to Get What She Wants

get what she wants
Girls: pretty darn good at getting what they want from men.

Apologies if this is a little rough-written. I haven’t slept in 36 hours (save a pair of 30-minute cat naps) and just spent 24 of those hours in a hospital emergency ward (not for myself; the injured party’s going to be fine we think). There’s a story there, though not sure if I want to share it. Suffice it to say 24 hours in an emergency ward surrounded by people in dire conditions with loved ones wailing over terrible tragedies is not something you want to experience if you have the chance to avoid it.

If you’re waiting to hear back from me via email, please be patient; I’m back over at the hospital again tonight, and if I’m not too tired after 60 hours of no-sleep I will get back to you within the next day. Anyway, we’ve got a website to run here, and the show must go on, so... on with the article.

I’ve had a few articles on female psychology I’ve been meaning to get up. This is one of them.

One of the strangest things you will notice when men talk about women is that men fall into roughly four different camps on how they think of the opposite sex:

  1. The white knight camp: “Women are all saints and angels and must be protected from horrible men!”

  2. The doesn’t care camp: “I don’t really know what women’s deal is, but so long as I’ve got one to cook me dinner and give me a blow job I don’t worry about it.”

  3. The bitter guy camp: “Women are all evil, scheming, manipulative succubae whose sole purpose in life is to cause men misery!”

  4. The ladies man camp: “Women are cute, silly beings who can be fickle and changeable, but they’re a whole heck of a lot of fun.”

The first guy is living in La-La Land, of course. He’s the white knight who dreams of trading his valor and loyalty in for an often ill-defined sexual payday. And the second guy just doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to spend the brain cells trying to know.

But what can we say about the third and fourth guys? Guy #3 looks at Guy #4 and mistakes him for Guy #1. Or he thinks he must have it good with women and has never seen their true nature. Guy #4 looks at Guy #3 and says there’s a guy who just doesn’t know how to push the right buttons with girls.

But is one of these guys wrong? Both men are drawing from often extensive experience reinforcing their views. Guy #4 gets laid plenty, has wonderful girlfriends who devote themselves to him, and overall has a great time with girls. Guy #3 gets ignored by women, taken advantage of by them, and screwed over in his relationships.

So what gives? Is Guy #3 just a crummier judge of character than Guy #4 is? He’s choosing the wrong women? Or maybe he’s just worse at meeting girls and running relationships?

While those things are generally true (i.e., guys with negative thoughts about women tend to harbor these thoughts because they aren’t good at getting what they want with girls), there’s more to the puzzle.

The ‘more’ in question is this: a girl’s going to do what she has to do to get what she wants from you. The difference between Guy #3 and Guy #4 is that Guy #4 makes sure women do things he wants to get what they want from him. Guy #3 has no such standard.