Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Demand Respect, Pt 2: The 3 Myths of Pride

myth of pride
There’s a myth in various spheres that pride is wrong. Yet a man who cannot project and protect his pride is a man others cannot respect.

People love telling others to be less egotistical, selfish, rude, arrogant, etc.

Why?

Simple.

If one can convince another to adopt their moral framework, their worldview wins. It dominates. It’s quite gratifying to convert someone to a cause. The dominator now knows how the dominated will act – he can predict their moves and manipulate them. It also reinforces his own worldview. If enough people believe something, others are far more likely to buy into it.

Moral policing is about power and nothing else.

The most pervasive of moral policing, besides outright calling someone evil – the ultimate nuke of moral superiorityis to call someone prideful.

The implied argument behind the shaming is that pride is bad.

Sure, self-respect is good, they say, but don’t be prideful. That’s wrong.

But as I covered in part 1 of this series, the self is everything; thus, respecting yourself, or pride, is your foremost drive in this life. No matter what you try to do or try to believe, it will always be tied to the self.

And if the self is everything, there is no distinction between pride and self-respect. You cannot have enough of something that is potentially infinite.

That’s like saying you can have too much money or pussy. The only people saying that are those with little, or those who have a lot but don’t want you to have it, too. Because if it was bad, why do they still have all that money and pussy?

Those looking to control you would have you believe there is such a thing as too much self-respect.

This is a Machiavellian tactic used by the weak or the powerful but scared.

The strong do not criticize others for being arrogant, unless their primary social tactic is subterfuge. This is mainly used by intermediate-level sociopaths. Convince others they’re prideful, that they should lower their guards – then strike. Genius, actually. It’s so clever in fact that it’s convinced entire nations to stop being prideful in their culture and heritage, to feel guilt for their greatness. They were convinced of the Myth of Pride, that pride is bad.

I will now tackle the three biggest myths that are derived from the false claim that pride is bad. These three have many permutations, so by covering these, I cover almost all misconceptions about pride. The Trinity of Falsity.

Harvey Weinstein, Gropocalypse, and the #MeToo Campaign

Gropocalypse and #MeeToo
The roiling Harvey Weinstein Hollywood sex scandal was caused by a unique mix of perversion, sexual power dynamics, and the twilight of feminism.

In late 2017, The New York Times broke a story on Harvey Weinstein paying off sexual harassment accusers. A few choice excerpts:

[A]fter being confronted with allegations including sexual harassment and unwanted physical contact, Mr. Weinstein has reached at least eight settlements with women, according to two company officials speaking on the condition of anonymity. Among the recipients, The Times found, were a young assistant in New York in 1990, an actress in 1997, an assistant in London in 1998, an Italian model in 2015 and Ms. O’Connor shortly after, according to records and those familiar with the agreements.

...

The allegations piled up even as Mr. Weinstein helped define popular culture. He has collected six best-picture Oscars and turned out a number of touchstones, from the films “Sex, Lies, and Videotape,” “Pulp Fiction” and “Good Will Hunting” to the television show “Project Runway.” In public, he presents himself as a liberal lion, a champion of women and a winner of not just artistic but humanitarian awards.

...

Dozens of Mr. Weinstein’s former and current employees, from assistants to top executives, said they knew of inappropriate conduct while they worked for him. Only a handful said they ever confronted him.

...

After she arrived, he offered to help her career while boasting about a series of famous actresses he claimed to have slept with.

...

“She said he was very persistent and focused though she kept saying no for over an hour,” one internal document said. Ms. Nestor, who declined to comment for this article, refused his bargain, the records noted. “She was disappointed that he met with her and did not seem to be interested in her résumé or skill set.”

Not long after, a recording broke of a 2015 NYPD sting investigation, in which Weinstein can be heard trying to cajole a 22-year-old Italian model up to his hotel room:

Gropocalypse and #MeeToo
Weinstein and Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, the model he attempted to get up to his hotel room.

Rose McGowan accused Weinstein of rape. Stories surfaced of him cornering women and making them watch him masturbate (once into a pot in a restaurant kitchen). And then the dam burst. To-date, 91 actors, producers, and other members of Hollywood have been accused of sexual impropriety, courtesy the #MeToo campaign. Women, en masse, have come forward with accusations against men – particularly men who held power over them.

Why this time, though? There have always been sexual accusations against powerful figures. Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump... just to name a few of the most prominent ones. Some of the accusations swirling around these figures are worse than anything alleged against Weinstein; Cosby is accused of drugging women to rape them. Many of the varied claims made against Clinton over the years sound like something out of a B-level political thriller, with all the rape, murder, and coverups you can dream of.

Yet despite all the controversies around and accusations leveled at powerful political and media figures, the dam never broke before. But this time it did. Why now? What does this ‘Gropocalypse” and its #MeToo campaign tell us about men, women, and sexual power dynamics in the professional spheres?

The Beginner's Quick Start Guide to Picking Up Girls and Dating

picking up girls
This guide lays out the major stages and steps to focus on for anyone new to picking up girls and dating women. Use it to get up and running fast.

Most of the boot camps I’ve held in my career as a dating coach have been with guys who were fairly weathered in their journey to success with women. But last week I found myself coaching a fresh-to-the-game kind of guy. Going out with me was among the first times he had ever gone out to approach women. But I was so used to dealing with guys who had at least some inkling of what success with women meant that I found myself utterly at a loss for words when it came to coaching someone this new.

That experience inspired me to write this article, in which I seek to not only give better advice to my student, but to provide something for anyone who is looking to make seduction a part of their lives. It’s something to help you avoid some of the pitfalls that made people like myself stumble back when we were new to learned success with women.

Going Out Momentum: Hot Streaks and Cold Streaks

going out hot streak
As you go out to talk to girls, you will come into hot streaks… and stumble into cold ones. This article is about why that happens.

I have on multiple occasions written about momentum as it relates to seduction. It’s one of those underlying mechanisms that profoundly affects your vibe, mindset, and results with women.

Today I will focus on some pickup theory that will help you make sense of the “unlearning mechanism” that takes place in your journey. I’ll discuss why many can experience some negative momentum after a positive streak. In fact, I will explore how there is an equilibrium effect at work that balances things out.

Momentum is the overall state of mind in which you find yourself during a period of time that snowballs and affects your results moving forward. Positive momentum denotes a good state of mind, which in turn, results in a sexier vibe. You get onto a hot streak. Negative momentum, however, generates a negative state of mind, giving you an unsexy vibe. You slide into a cold streak.

Momentum can snowball in a positive or a negative direction. For instance, if you approach three girls and they all seem receptive to you, positive momentum is created and your vibe becomes sexier and more attractive. If you get rejected harshly three times in a row, the momentum works the opposite way.

The example above is a case of what I have referred to as micro momentum. It’s the momentum that affects you on a micro level – during a night out, for example.

Macro momentum, on the other hand, takes into account the bigger picture – the overall momentum over a longer period of time. For instance, some of you may have noticed how summer holidays tend to be more wild. You may rack up lays during the summer, feeling like a true god of seduction. Things may even start to seem too easy and straight forward. And you feel this way until you experience some disruption in macro momentum. Let’s say that during the winter you may, for whatever reason, have less success with women or find it very difficult to meet new women. You then develop a case of negative macro momentum.

Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)

gratitude attractive
Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

Stop Making These 5 Texting Mistakes with Girls You Just Met

texting mistakes
Social texting, text message negs, and asking her to answer quicker are a few common texting mistakes you’d do well to avoid.

These days, texting – or the various flavors of instant messaging – has clearly taken over as the preferred form of communication to get newly-met girls on dates and into bed. So much so that many seek out articles, books, and coaches to help them master the art.

Ten years ago, it was perfectly legit to call a girl you just met and set up a meet over the phone. The phone used to be a great tool, because you could show her how cool of a guy you are through voice tonality, which is still a fundamental art for in-person interactions (which is why setting up a meet should be your primary goal when texting). It used to be that I’d turn cold numbers warm through good phone calls – but those days are gone for the most part.

You’d think showcasing good voice tonality over the phone would go a long way when meeting someone new, but if you call a new girl nowadays, she most likely won’t even answer, because she’s not comfortable talking to strangers. The only person who actually calls her on the phone and gets picked up is probably her mom. In other words, you could have a very sexy voice, but if she doesn’t answer the phone, well, I guess you could leave a voicemail and hope for the best. But she’ll probably still think you’re weird for calling. “Dude, voicemail? Who does that? Why doesn’t he just text? Weirdo.”

Like it or not, people now prefer text communication for contacting new people, even when a two-minute call could accomplish the same thing as several texts over the course of hours. Whether or not people realize texting is most often less efficient, it’s always more comfortable, non-confrontational, and safe. So that’s what we do now.

The problem is that a lot of communication cues are lost in written text, even with the use of emojis. And it is more important now to convey your coolness through text than it ever was. Even if you’re just trying to get a date with a hot girl you met during night game or day game, the tool required to get to meet her again face to face is called “text game.”

Many dudes have not connected the dots between having a horrible text game and having very few dates. Ask any guy who is decently good with girls, and they’ll tell you there is a clear correlation between text game and actually getting girls close enough to you for sex to happen. But what is good text game? We have several articles that deal with that. In this post, I want to give you guys some additional pointers on how to avoid bad text game.

Okay, guys. Take notes, and don’t do this stuff.

Tactics Tuesdays: 5 Ways to Make Her Not Feel Slutty About Sex

she feels slutty
Sometimes you go for intimacy, but a girl stops you because she feels slutty. There are 5 major ways to help her past this: adventure, sexual expertise, urgency, and more.

This is an old request from the GC topics queue – it goes back about four years or so. A reader (who happened to have attended my alma mater) had this to ask:

Hey Chase, this was an absolute mind boggling article, gave a new perspective to things. Anyway, recently I went on a date to a local bar, Cafe 210 in State College if you know it. We stayed there had a few drinks and then I pulled her back to my place. I then made my move. I had her shirt and bra off, and then refused to take her pants off, and I tried everything to get them off but failed. She had the vibe that she was trying not to be slutty/easy, and was could tell she was experienced. This has happened several times to me with other girls. Im assuming I’m in BF territory, but any advice on making girls not feel slutty/easy would be great.

You might think at first this is just a last-minute resistance issue. And you can treat it as such. However, if it is a pattern, where you encounter this repeatedly when you get women alone, it’s more than just LMR. The LMR is only a symptom of the overall problem. Girls feeling slutty about sex around you is the root.

If you can make a woman feel comfortable being sexual with you, you will not face this obstacle. Sure, a girl may still resist sex with you for any one of a number of other reasons... you may not have turned her on enough, the environment may not be conducive to it, or any of myriad other possibilities may be the case.

However, if you remove the “she feels slutty about sex” issue, this reason for resistance goes away.

And it should be noted here that this goes beyond any boyfriend considerations. That’s because if she does not see you as a boyfriend, but she still feels like it’d be slutty or too easy to sleep with you, she will resist sleeping with you. And meanwhile, even if she does see you as a boyfriend, if she feels like she can hop into bed with you and it won’t affect how you see her or her prospects with you (and she has no other reservations about intimacy with you), she will hop right into bed with you.

The key, of course, is you must remove the ‘too easy’, ‘too slutty’ objection, first.

How to Demand Respect from Others, Pt 1: The Self Is Everything

demand respect
If you want respect, you must be able to demand respect. The first part of this, however, is to realize you will never destroy your ego – so you might as well work with it.

There is an undercurrent of pseudo-philosophical thinking in the manosphere and the seduction community that needs to be revealed for what it is.

I have also been guilty of allowing this false thinking. This is as much a self-correction as it is a monumental criticism that strikes at the heart of many a grandmaster’s conclusion.

I call it the Egolessness Fallacy.

It is the fallacious thinking that having no ego is the best way to succeed with women.

The thinking goes as such: “Without an ego, where is thy sting, rejection?” There is no one there to be rejected.

This is *very* close to truth, but that which is closest to truth but not truth is the most devious lie.

I reckon this is how the falsity was woven.

If you go far enough in any skill, you will learn how to learn. You will learn how you learn, which means you’ll come to know how emotions affect you, stick with you, and how your thinking works.

The journey of seduction is perhaps one of the most direct paths to learning oneself, save for meditation, since you are the subject who is both acting and being evaluated. In any sport, you are the one carrying the ball or kicking the ball, yes, but the end goal is something impersonal. The other team or your team gets scored on. You are somewhat detached from the loss or victory (though it doesn’t always feel that way, of course).

With game, however, the woman has to accept you for there to be victory.

Furthermore, victory is mutual. You get pussy and she gets cock. You both win.

This means you are not so focused on the other person losing as you are with a traditional sport; you’re instead focused on two paradoxical outcomes.

You need her to want to submit to you.

However, the paradox is revealed when you consider that a woman does not submit to her equal or subordinate. It doesn’t make sense. She wants to submit, but she doesn’t win by submitting to a man who can’t make her submit.

One could be equitable and argue you need to be more dominant than her, but in practicality, this is going to look and feel like you are greater than her. Philosophize all you want, you must be her superior if you want to have sex fast.

You > her.

Don’t see the paradox yet? Alright, here it is.

How to Use "Grand Master Style" to Rack Up Scads of Lays

GM style
GM style: a crass, irreverent, and utterly hilarious way to make women horny, excited... and ready to hop in bed quick.

In 1999, an American expat in Paris named Nathan Szilard commented online about a talented natural seducer in a bar he kept running into:

There’s that guy -- looks like an heroin addict, looks fortyish (but might be younger), dressed in black and/or like shit, skinny, tall, wrinkled, never smiles ... and gets laid like a rock star.

One day, at that bar – the same place Nathan always spied this guy – he chatted up a pair of girls. Suddenly, the guy showed up, flashed Nathan an amused grin, and swooped in to talk with the cuter of Nathan’s two girls.

Two minutes in, the guy asked someone for a pen and paper and took the girl’s phone number.

Five minutes in, Nathan excused himself to the washroom... and walked in on the guy and his girl making out with their hands all over each other.

Impressed and amazed, Nathan dubbed this guy the ‘Grand Master’... or ‘GM’ for short. And over the next year or so, Nathan Szilard befriended and worked to decipher the game of this guy he dubbed ‘GM’.

Note: If you are a beginner dater, probably don’t try to use GM style. You risk awkward creepiness if you botch your delivery. Focus on less edgy stuff first. For the more advanced guys (or the still-curious beginners), read on...

One of Nathan’s earliest analyses of GM style was this:

Hm trying to recollect what I forgot to mention in my earlier post.

He makes it clear right away that he wants sex. He explained it to me. He does not really understand what is going on, me thinks.

He does not compliment.

I explained him the concept of neg hit; he disagreed ... YET HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME. Well, it’s not NEGs, it’s more like ‘vannes’ as I explained once, that’s to say, taking the piss on her. So he fucked that German yesterday, and before that, made a few (light) jokes about Germans, then ‘apologized’ by hugging/kissing her.

He takes every opportunity to go kino [touch]. I’ve already mentioned that.

He claims that he does not act the same with every woman. I asked him about some place that’s packed with model-types full-bitch-shielded types, how do you handle that I asked, and he said, “You don’t get it, you don’t do the same thing there, I’ll explain you later.”

He asks boring questions, name, job, then joke on it, and when I say JOKE, I mean FUCKING LAME jokes.

To a German: “you speak German really well!”
To a Japanese: “you speak Japanese really well!”
To an Italian: “you speak Italian really well!”

Original, heh? And on top of that he said it several times to the same girl. “You really speak German well! LOL “.

For a time, Grand Master style (or GM style), a method of strong sexual direct jokes, chase frames, and sexual intent, became one of the most popular methods in the pick up artist (PUA) community, alongside Mystery Method and Gunwitch Method.

These days it’s largely forgotten.

But it shouldn’t be. It’s a different, fresh, and highly irreverent approach to bedding girls in a hurry – and the Grand Master still has lots to teach.