Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Increase Your Lays, Pt. II: Strategies for 5 Venue Types

venue strategy
Different venues demand different strategies to do well meeting girls in. Each of these 5 different venues needs its own discrete approach.

Last week, we covered 3 different concepts that could help us in developing a seduction strategy for a given night. Keep in mind that our focus is based on cold approach seduction, and that our aim is primarily to increase our odds of getting laid – but also to get a girl we like.

Those 3 concepts were:

  • Increased volume: simply approach more and play the numbers game.

  • Screening: spend more time before the approach, and approach “better leads” instead of just spam approaching. The catch here is that you approach less and therefore risk losing some good leads.

  • Tighter game: more of a long-term strategy – oftentimes seen as an ideal where you approach a girl and manage to go home with her due to tight seduction skills.

Now, the last concept of “tight game” might seem like the most appealing, but it takes a while to actually build those skills. To become super tight, you actually have to put a lot of work into it. And for many men, it leads to a diminishing return – unless you are a freak like me who just happens to be passionate about this stuff. We will also see in this post that there will be scenarios where you simply cannot get away with playing things smoothly – situations where your seductive vibe and smooth verbal skills mean jack all.

If the previous post was about covering concepts, this post is about practical stuff – probably as practical as it can get. We will cover a few different scenarios and see when and where these concepts should be applied.

Now, this is something that you get better at the more experienced you become; however, I hope this can give you some ideas on how this all works out. There is no point in learning the different situations covered in this post by heart, because every situation is different. What I want you to do is to try to understand why I pick certain strategies over others – and if anything is unclear, you have the comment section below to ask questions, and I will clarify things for you.

Let us get right into it and cover some usual scenarios you might face – keep in mind I will both cover night game scenarios as well as day game scenarios.

How to Become a Centered Warrior

centered warrior
Being centered offers one of the biggest leaps forward with dating, self, and life. There’s no easy way to it – it comes from enduring pain and trial.

The protagonist walks toward the camera, face emotionless, calm. Then suddenly an explosion erupts behind him. Does he flinch away from it. Does surprise touch his face. No. He stays calm as the world is blown to bits – and he’s seemingly untouched from it all as he nonchalantly walks toward the camera.

You have probably seen countless versions of this scene in quite a few movies, and it has probably sent goose bumps creeping up your arms as a side effect. What is it about this scene that puts us in such a state of awe?

Why is something like this so inspiring – and duplicated so many times over? Many of us would like to not just see this as a protagonist on the screen, but a hopeful reflection of ourselves. We want to be the guy who cannot be affected by the world no matter how chaotic it is. We want what we see on the television to be the reflection we see in the mirror. We want to be grounded just like that figure so often portrayed.

The concept of being grounded has always been the hardest for me to explain, let alone teach. It is one of those things I cannot show on a boot camp or fix over the course of days or even weeks. It is something you have to choose to do in your heart. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, only once you decide you are going to do what it takes to deepen this part of you, only then can you achieve it.

Firstly, what is being grounded – what makes a centered warrior? Think of waves crashing on rocks. Are the rocks strong and resolute, or are they weak and brittle? Do they stand for ages, or do they quickly become dislodged or shattered like obsidian? Or maybe it is a tree in a storm, standing tall and unbroken, maybe bending under the torrent of wind or outright being broken in half. The idea is that no matter what is thrown at you, you are always at ease, completely in control of your emotions.

When you talk to a stranger, this is one of the first things they may notice about your character, either consciously or subconsciously – not by what you do, but by what you don’t do. It is as simple as displaying a warm tone despite receiving anything but. A steady gaze. Lack of fidgeting. Being grounded is being unaffected when the surroundings get testy. When a guy is drunkenly belligerent and tries to push your buttons, do you let him? When a girl calls you ugly, do you care?

How Much Should You Do for a Girlfriend? The Investment Scales

do for a girlfriend
What’s the right amount to do for a girl you date? How do you know if you invest too much or too little? Two measures: boredom and neglect.

Commenting on my article “Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her”, a reader asks (emphasis added):

Thanks for another insight article especially about how “dynamics” really work and that as long as you can handle situations in the right dynamics, you can break the rules or at least not follow them strictly. Which brings back to a question I have in terms of giving help to a girl. So just a little background, I’m currently dating an au pair, who is considered a foreigner in this country. So I have helped her with a lot of things such as improving her English, help her with application for status extension/change, plus a number of non-fun items, even though after those items we have fun and sleep together as much as I want. So more of an early boyfriend status. So my question is am i doing too much to help her, have you done an article in terms of when offering help to your girlfriend, what is the right amount or how to gauge when to help and when not to help and just let her do it on her own?

Getting the right balance on how much to do for a girlfriend is an issue for more intermediate daters on up. When many men start out, they pay no attention to a girl’s investment in them, and instead throw as much investment as they can at her to try to woo her. Once they realize this hurts them with her instead of helps, they begin to scale it back. Except, here, they often go too far. How do you get the balance of your investment right, so you do not make her feel either over- or undervalued?

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of investment/compliance, or you need a refresher, be sure you’ve read these articles:

Also read the article linked to at the start of this installment. It discusses the crucial questions of “who’s doing what for whom” in terms of the pre-sex courtship.

Having read those, though, you’re likely still left with one tangled up question: how do I know when I’ve invested too much or too little in her?

There’s not an easy answer to this question, but I’ll do my best to prune some of the vines off it for you here and give you a formula you can work with.

13 Things Inexperienced Girls Do that Men Mistake for Sluttiness

inexperienced girls
No one’s dating instincts are perfect. Sometimes you’ll think a girl is slutty when the truth is inexperience makes her act too direct.

You don’t realize it until you’re quite experienced with girls, but your instincts – especially as a beginner – don’t always give you the most reliable information.

You see this with a lot of inexperienced men, who end up dating very experienced women, convinced of these girls inexperience and chastity (check out my article on how to gauge a girl’s partner count if you want a better handle on this). Yet the opposite happens too: inexperienced men often write off inexperienced women because they misread these girls’ inexperience as confident experience. Even men who are pretty good with girls often misread these signals.

Today, I’m going to show you 13 things inexperienced women do that cause men to incorrectly assume they are more experienced with men than they are.

There’s a theme running through these 13 things, you might notice. That theme is this: more experienced girls create mystery, build anticipation, and embody a feminine air. Less experienced girls are usually blunt, raw, and over-direct.

Put another way, the more experienced a girl becomes with men, the better able she is to trigger within men the emotions men most enjoy from women. The less experienced she is, the worse she is at this.

Note that none of these are absolutes. There are experienced women who do these things too. However, if you see a girl do two or three or four of these things, you can feel be confident she’s likely inexperienced with men.

That in mind, let’s peel back these 13 things and change how you look at the women you meet.

Boobs vs. Butts: Male Tastes Differ (& Your 10 Isn’t Everybody’s)

boobs vs. butts
You shouldn’t treat her like a ‘10’… Because even the most beautiful girl is only a ‘10’ to a certain chunk of the male population.

I came across a fascinating 1968 study on male preferences in female body part sizes this weekend. The study asked men to rate various female silhouettes, like these:

Then, at a separate date, in what the male subjects thought was a separate study, the researchers had the same men answer a number of questions about themselves.

They then compared the men’s body type preferences to personality attributes and other dimensions to look for correlations. And they discovered (as you might imagine) that different types of men like different types of women.

The body type ratings men gave were of figures that looked like this:

boobs vs. butts

And the personality dimensions and background details the men provided information on covered the gamut, from social interaction styles to what kind of magazines they read.

We’ll talk about the findings of this study and a few other ones, if you’re curious to know what your taste in women says about you. But more than that, the point of this post is going to be to give you one additional tool to help take the girls you really like off any pedestals you have them on... By driving home the point that while you might think she’s a complete 10/10, there are plenty of other men who don’t, and odds are she doesn’t even view herself that way.

Increase Your Lays, Pt. I: Three Seduction Strategies

seduction strategies
How can you get laid more and carve more notches on your bedpost? We kick off the series with a look at three (3) seduction strategies.

Hello there. I hope you are all doing great. I plan on making this a two-part post discussing strategies to increase your amount of lays.

Many of us enjoy meeting women in different scenarios – one day you might meet girls in bookstores; on Friday you enjoy heading to a bar; and maybe on Saturday you go to a club.

Maybe you only meet women in clubs, or maybe only during the daytime – that is cool, too; however, note that even the venue that you are familiar with can change from time to time.

For instance, your favorite nightlife venue that is usually energetic enough but not too chaotic can, on one night, become very crowded and messy – like around Halloween. This basically totally changes the scenario. Sometimes you can select venues (being daytime venues or nighttime venues); however, you will never fully be in control of the potential changes. This is why calibration and experience is so key. This series is meant to help you through the process of calibrating to your venues.

The overall idea is to cover different strategies for different scenarios in order to increase the amount of girls in your life. The 3 concepts for making good strategies are:

  • Volume
  • Screening
  • Tight game

We will discuss all 3 – and note that combinations are doable and can oftentimes give amazing success – such as combining screening with tight game, or screening with volume (the sober “drunk n’ horny game”). I am not saying that these are 3 distinct strategies – quite the opposite. You should always have all 3 in mind – and preferably you should approach a few women and always have your game tight. You might also screen out bad leads. What I am trying to say is that there will be scenarios in which you will have to put more focus on one of the concepts.

Along the way, we will discuss the pros and cons of each strategy. And the next post will discuss these concepts in light of different environments, and examine which concepts should get more emphasis as far as making the best strategy for meeting women.

Let us get straight into the first major concept: volume.

How to Build a Woman Cloud (and Unlock Abundance Mentality)

woman cloud
Dating is a lot more fun if you have a cloud of women to choose from. To build your woman cloud, you’ll need a slightly different approach to follow-up.

This article revolves around a common question I get asked – about an issue with a particular kind of seduction, with a particular kind of girl. Maybe she’s hotter than the usual… or maybe there was a genuine connection, or the stakes felt pretty high. I’m sure most of the readers have run into similar situations during certain levels of their progress… I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

Maybe you met her at a bookstore, or on the street, or at a bar. You traded phone numbers and tried to set up a date. She’s busy. Or you set up a date, and she flaked. A lot of seducers at the intermediate level and below tend to get quite bothered by this issue. And I certainly did, too.

And what’s the solution? Better texting? Making a stronger impression? Both are valid things to try. However, those aren’t the types of things that address the deeper problem, which is:

Abundance.

An abundance mentality is something that has been discussed on Girls Chase before. And most of us already have an idea of what it looks like… or should look like. To a seducer with abundance mentality, that particular seduction or that particular girl isn’t a cause for concern... because there’s always going to be another girl willing to go to bed.

But you might be curious… how can one cultivate such an attitude?

It usually takes a few years – and heaps of experience – before this starts to take shape. It doesn’t happen overnight. But what if you could develop a higher level of abundance… let’s say, in a few weeks’ effort, or a month, or even… this time next week?

That might sound like a tall order… but it’s something that can definitely be done.

Tactics Tuesdays: Treat Her Hot and Horny

hot and horny
Some girls you do well with, some girls not so well. What’s the difference? One of the big ones: do you treat her hot and horny, or not.

This post is probably best suited to men who are intermediate and up with girls. If you’re just starting out, it’s still worth reading to know what mindset to aim for, but you may not be able to implement it just yet if you don’t have at least one type of girl you do well with consistently.

Commenting on my article “When She Picks You, It’s Vital She Feels It’s Her Choice”, a reader named Asian Guy asks:

Hi Chase!

I sort of have a question I have been hoping to find the answer to for a while but am not sure really where to look. I’ve bought your spellbinding book and even looked at a how to date korean women book done by one of your friends. However, to this day I am still not sure how to go after korean women who are raised in a conservative society. As an example, recently I met a korean girl and after going on a few dates with her, she wouldn’t even try to really hug in public. I was told by my korean guy friends that korean girls tend not to do anything touchy feely public. After going out on 4 dates with her, I tried to go to her place (my place not logistically possible). She hemmed and hawed and said something like how she just moved in and her place isn’t ready to have people over.

A lot of the techniques here are literal gold when it comes to american women or americanized asian women, but for asian women from asia, I am still having problems. For example, a lot of times when I propose to go home with a conservative asian girl on the the first or second date, they actually seem to get offended or completely creeped out. This never happens to me with americanized asian girls, who “get” the whole thing. I’ve never been able to date the more conservative ones because they tend to be extremely cautious and the techniques that would normally work for other girls fail here. It seems that they are into a boyfriend candidate all the time. I have tried a lot to disqualify, but these girls seem hard-wired to want a boyfriend, and the moment I disqualify, they are gone.

I was curious if you had any ideas or experiences what to do here. It seems with most conservative asian girls it takes up to 6-9 dates to really go anywhere. I have recognized that there exist a lot of conservative asian girls who do sleep with men fast, but it seems those are the more rebellious type, which you can usually tell. For the ones that tend to stay home, not drink, go to the library, etc, do you have any ideas how or if you would tailor everything?

Thanks Chase!!

First off, although this comment is about girls from Asia (and Korea in particular), it’s a microcosm of a phenomenon men face across their courtships with all girls.

That’s because just like there are men who think Asian girls from Asia are too conservative and too hard to get, there are men who think they’re ridiculously easy. Just like there are men who specialize in deflowering girls who’ve resisted sex with other men for years. And like there are men who think X type of girl is easy, even though other men think X type of girl is impossible.

So, I’m going to answer Asian Guy’s question. But in so doing, I’m also going to give you a tweak to how you approach the girls you approach that, if you implement it, will supercharge your results with them.

3 Common Roadblocks to Seduction Mastery

roadblocks to seduction
As you seek to master the art of seduction, you’ll discover 3 key roadblocks: the first 1000 approaches, wrong practice, and too much faking.

Plateaus are the bane of any skill we seek mastery in, and they are most prominent in learned success with women. These obstructions in the pick-up community are not just speed bumps but full-on roadblocks preventing people from reaching the heights they dream of.

This article is aimed at any guy who wants to get seriously good at meeting girls via cold approach. What are the hurdles? What must you overcome to get there?

In my experience, there are three (3) major roadblocks. I call them:

  1. 1000 approaches,
  2. Deliberate practice, and
  3. Not faking but being.

How can you recognize and defeat each one as efficiently as possible?

Deep Down, Do Women Long for True Love Most of All?

women true love
Love seems like the ultimate female obsession. But do girls actually desire love as much as it seems? The answer is “It depends.”

In my article on dating mistakes, a reader asks about women and love:

What about girls & wanting to fall in love? I think most women deep down want “true love”, aka to find a sexy, awesome guy who they fall in love w/ (w/ the great sex, & intrigue, mystery & all that).

Love being a strong connection, caring for & bonding, etc. Also society paints it as wife-husband but whatever the label, the concept’s the same: to fall in love w/ an awesome guy & for it to last is what most women want at the core – What do you think of that theory?

If you watch a lot of cinema, you’re likely quick to answer, “Of course!”

Love – it makes the world go ‘round. All you need is love. And all the other slogans like that.

And love is a wonderful thing. It’s a great emotion. It’s an important one, too.

But is it, in the innermost hearts of womankind, truly what the fairer sex seeks?

As you likely know by now, if you’re hoping for the Hollywood party line, this isn’t the site for that. However, before I give you a straight answer, I’d like to explore a little of the science on love with you.

And then we’ll talk about how important it really is to women.