Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

The Magic Word that Gets You More of What You Want


Good day, gentlemen. Today, I’m here to tell you about something profoundly simple yet tortuously difficult for some. Let me ask you something… what if I told you there’s one particular word in the English language that will get you more of what you want than entire essays of other words?

That with this one magical word, you can assert your boundaries, display your standards, and become a stronger man all at the same time?

You would probably think that I’m crazy… and most likely also want to know more! First I will tell you the word, and then we will delve into its dynamics.

The Magic Word is…

NO.

no

How to Turn Flakes into Dates


You meet her at a coffee shop or the library and have a great interaction; she was laughing at all your jokes and she seemed excited about meeting up with you again. You leave feeling like you and her shared a connection and you are excited about the potential of meeting up again.

You shoot her a text a couple days later, asking her out for drinks. You glance at your phone a couple hours later, still no response. Eventually, you realize that she’s just another flakey number.

flake

Know Thyself: Breaking Free of Past and Present


If you want to move to the next level with women, you need to know a lot about them.

You need to know what piques their interest, what makes them comfortable, what turns them on, and what keeps them coming back for more.

But it’s not enough to know women. You need to know yourself.

know-thyself-pt1

This article is the first of two articles that focus on knowing yourself. In this article, I’m going to convince you that self-knowledge is a powerful tool for attracting women, both in the short term and the long term.

Then I’m going to point out a couple of areas where you might be neglecting your pursuit of self-knowledge.

It’s certainly not all abstract, philosophical, and ivory-tower. You could be neglecting something that has huge consequences for your romantic prospects.

How to Keep a Casual Relationship Going in 5 Simple Steps


Let’s face it, the best part about seduction, and I would guess the main reason why we are all here, is not approaching countless women in bars and streets, nor is it spending hours texting women you haven’t met.

It’s not getting numbers, Facebook contacts, or even make-outs.

It’s about what happens next: sex; intimacy; connection.

casual-relationship

And even if you’re a player-grandiose and take pride in the notches you are racking up every weekend, chances are, eventually you will find a woman (or women), whom you enjoy having sex with and spending time with so much that you would love to do so again and again with her – of course, without sacrificing the freedom and pleasure of sleeping with other women and sexual variety in general.

Having such women, such an unwritten arrangement in life, has always been the end goal for me and I’m happy to say that, with occasional slip-ups and ups and downs, this has been the case for a few years now.

Before we get into the details, I’d like to explain how I will be using the term “casual relationship”, because terms like friends-with-benefits (FwB), fuck buddies (FB), open relationships (OR), multi-long term relationships (mLTRs) have their own connotations. If you prefer to call what I’m about to describe any of the latter, that’s fine – no point in fussing over terminology.

But for me, when I talk about casual relationships, I mean a relationship where you are with someone you care deeply about (you could even say love, if you want to be a little dramatic) but with whom you’re not exclusive and there’s no expectation for that in the future. Your relationship revolves mostly around sex but is not restricted to it. You are able to talk about and share mostly anything without any drama whatsoever. Neither of you put any expectations on the other with a single exception – having a tremendous time every time you’re together. Please don’t get hung up on the word “casual”, it doesn’t make it any less important than “serious”, it’s instead mainly to convey the relaxed boundaries involved.

If that sounds like something you want in your life, please read on.

The Ultimate “Get Girls on Dance Floors” Guide: Warming Up


Okay, so last time I introduced the topic of dance floor seduction, and I also shared some facts and cleared up some common myths surrounding the topic.

Today we will discuss the phase that takes place before you even open. Next time we will cover opening.

As we do not have the ability to use conversation much on the dance floor, we will simply not have the ability to do damage control in case we don’t get the desired response from a girl. Secondly, we will have a limited ability to convey our amazing personality. In other words, we will have fewer tools to help ensure a smooth approach.

dance floor

So in a way, it becomes a numbers game – if you approach enough girls, you will most likely find a receptive one. However, in this post (in addition to learning how to approach properly on the dance floor, which we will cover next week) it is also key to spot the receptive girls on the dance floor – not every girl is going to be receptive, and many might simply be seeking attention.

But other factors also play in, most prominently: your vibe and your mood. From our last post, we mentioned that some basic seduction knowledge applies here – you will need your basics in check in order to successfully approach on the dance floor. Some of the basics that are key in dance floor seduction are:

I will not discuss these any further, as this series of posts will focus on dance floor game in particular. But if you need more information on any of those topics, you will find a lot of great in-depth posts about them on the site and also in Chase’s eBook.

However, your state of mind also plays a role.

Why It’s Important to Escalate with Her Fluidly


Today, let's talk making progress with women, and the kinds of progressions you can go through: passive and active.

There is a difference between passive and active progression. Passive progression is predictable, boring, and obligatory (not fun); active progression feels as if it can go places and change.

It is this difference and the fact that women NEED a man who is always actively progressing (yes, always!) that is why we need to "escalate" to just keep up. In order to progress in a relationship you must perceive a woman's desires and lead the situation to get to those areas.

escalate-to-stand

Typically the most obvious form of active progression or escalation is physical or sexual, but there is actually more to it than this if you are truly paying attention.

Escalation is not just about physical intimacy increasing over time; it actually can include approaching ANY desirable context for a woman that requires your effort or participation to achieve. Things like:

  • Open dialogues on important topics
  • Showing a greater tendency to forgive or accept behaviors
  • Showing a greater ability to perceive her desires and goals
  • More time and generous attention
  • More interesting dynamics

It is not merely about sexuality but in fact it's about the need to contribute to achieve mutual goals that will not just magically happen on their own.

The Genuine Man, Part 10: A King in Action


Welcome to the final article in the Genuine Man series.

We’ve covered all the mindsets, techniques, and fundamentals of becoming a genuine man – or at least the overarching principles, which include:

Now I want to show you what that looks like in action, or at least begins to look like once you hit this level. I’ll present many examples of my current genuity and actions and compare them to my former jerk procedures.

The Key to Nipping Girlfriend Drama in the Bud in LTRs


340Breeze had a comment about issues he was running into managing his long-term relationships over on Darius’s recent article about leading and seduction – here’s the excerpt of Breeze’s comment relevant to our discussion today:

... seems like women keep the hurt bottled up inside, and then women want to get revenge on me or hurt me because somehow my words hurt them (idk). My personality is such that I can’t easily control feeling the strong negative emotions when people who are close to me start acting like clowns, I get extremely pissed off for a little while, then after a few minutes I calm down. I don’t stay upset for long but some women seem to never ever let go of a bad feeling and cling to it with a death grip. And then some women are always testing, always poking and prodding, and always trying to say or do little things to try and get under your skin, and sometimes the shit they say or do is beyond the pale. It’s like they start drama for no reason all because they’re mad from 2 weeks or 2 months ago and instead of calmly talking about the issue and why/how they’re affected and coming to a calm solution, they let the negative emotions from the past infect their current and future feelings and subsequent behavior and I find it so hard not to say anything in response to their near-continuous shit testing.

girlfriend drama

This is, unfortunately, a scenario most men run into eventually in long-term relationships, and a primary contributor to everything from breakups to cheating to “betaization” (that is, males moving into the subordinate role in a relationship).

So what’s the problem here, and what do we have to do to fix it?

How to Get Girls While Backpacking


Last summer I backpacked across Europe with my best friend. This trip took my game to another level. Towards the end of it, I started to really learn a system and how to take advantage of my current situation as a backpacker.

This post outlines the aspects of that system as I had it by the end of that trip, and should enable you to have a much easier time to get girls while backpacking too.

Seducing a Girl by Leading the Seduction Dance


Do you know what separates just a good male dancer from one who women love and just can’t seem to get enough of?

They both need to be good at leading and know how to use their body to the music; the difference, however, is that a good dancer will try to show off his own “moves” while the one who’s being asked out to dance again and again will use leading to make her look amazing.

seducing

I remember an exercise we did when I started learning couples dancing, one dedicated to helping you understand how to lead – as a male partner you stand in place and while the song is playing you’re only using your hands to lead her and have her make the dance look great.

Can there be a more perfect analogy for seduction?

You extend your hand firmly to show what will happen next and even though she’s free to choose whether to follow your directions or not, if you do it right she will do so more often than not.

When she doesn’t it’s either because your extension wasn’t clear enough and she’s not sure what you want her to do or maybe she has her weight on another leg and the direction you want her to go would be too uncomfortable or even physically impossible to follow. Either that, or she simply doesn’t trust you enough to feel confident that you will make the whole dance look good.

At no point do you try to force her into a particular position though.

When she does follow through with your lead, all you have to do is stop for a moment and admire how stunningly sexy she looks while spinning, moving her hips, or gently falling into your embrace. Then you extend your arm and show her the next direction.

All this happens while you as a man stand firmly in your position.