Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Escalating on Her in a Controlled & Calibrated Way

Escalating physically and verbally on women can be difficult to do in a controlled way. Here’s how to calibrate your escalation to the girl.
Pickup Tech

Howdy all,

Today I decided to take the time to answer a question related to escalation (being physical or verbal), and more in particular about calibration – calibrating escalation to the girl and the situation.

escalate on her

In other words, the readers were curious how one can escalate while limiting their chances of facing resistance.

Many students of seduction struggle when it comes to escalation, because they lack calibration and can easily blow things off if they do things wrong. Now, being perfectly calibrated is impossible, but great calibration skills come from experience.

However, in this post I will give you some tools that will make things easier for you.

Now onto the questions:

A reader who posted as Anonymous asked the following:

I was thinking, what’s the difference between sleazy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames, and escalating vs. sexy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalating.

And I read your sequence in “Physical escalation in Public” What happens when we escalate at the wrong sequence (too much)? thanks alek ;)

In addition, Lawliet asked this:

Nice article bro!

Anonymous said something interesting. Got me thinking.

Just wondering what happens when we escalate too much too early or in the wrong order and what we can do to recover afterwards?

Best regards,


Both are very good questions and as they are both more or less related I decided to answer them in detail in this post.

4 Tension Locks to Use When You Talk to Girls

Famous movie seducers use them, and so can you: tension locks, a tool to regain control from girls about to dismiss you or ramble too much.
Pickup Tech

If you ever watch good verbal movie seductions – like, say, one featuring Sean Connery or George Clooney – you’ll notice there’s often a moment when the male suddenly cuts all the cute stuff, leans in, and says something that locks the tension in and dials it up through the roof.

This is usually the moment of the seduction when you smile to yourself and say, “Wow, he’s good.”

tension lock

Sometimes when one of these men do this, the woman in question is going off on a tangent, or rambling, or even panicking.

And then he just hushes her up, leans in, drops a little word bomb on her, and the tension goes through the roof.

If they’re somewhere private, they may start kissing... then disrobing. If they’re in public, the tension might be thick enough to chop with a meat cleaver (and the man will follow it up either by lightening the mood a bit to avoid cresting emotions too high and causing the spell to break... or by pulling her somewhere private, if it’s an option).

For the sake of discussing this technique more easily, I’m going to call the phrases the male uses ‘tension locks’; there are four (4) of them, they can be really effective, and best of all, you needn’t be a movie star or a master seducer to use them.

You just need to know what they are, and when to put them into play.

How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 5: Taboo as Aphrodisiac

In part 5, we explore what makes taboo such a mighty aphrodisiac. Also: what are the limits – what should you simply just not do in bed?
Female Mind

Now that we have thoroughly explored the Temple of Debauchery, we can clearly understand some of the why’s and how’s of these darkly beautiful acts.

But as a reminder, here are the first four articles of the series:

  1. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 1: All Women are Freaks
  2. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 2: Beginners Guide
  3. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 3: A Little More Kinky
  4. How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 4: Shagging Like a Pornstar

At the end of the most recent article, I suggested that while sexual creativity is infinite, there are some limits to what you should do with women. But first, some of you might be asking a very reasonable question:

“Will every girl do ‘X’?”


If the man (or men) is sexy enough and if non-judgment and discretion are assured, then, yes, girls will do just about everything.


Be More Flexible, Sleep with More Girls

Some guys seem to be “lucky” – they always find the girl who wants to date them (or sleep with them). Yet this is anything but chance.
Pickup Tech

flexible sleep with girlsIn the comment section of my article “10 Surprising Reasons Women Will Have Sex with You”, a reader remarked on a study on luck that discovered exceptionally “lucky” people basically are much better at noticing and seizing on opportunities, while “unlucky” people are more single-minded and stubborn, and miss opportunities.

Our reader commented that:

I totally coroborate it with my incident today. There is this cute girl in my neighbouring room in student dorm I had been planning to talk to for days. I thought over it for days and planned a silly excuse to go talk to her only to realise that she had been sick. Instead of adapting quickly and offering her to drop by place for some warm tea i completely flipped and just went through what i had planned in my mind before, Just like the article i missed the opportunity for a spontaneous casual conversational connection based on my planned mindset. think this is what most people nervous with girls and new to it suffer, presence of mind and adaptablity. Not always but specific to situation they are not comfortable with. Your views on this !

And... yes. This hits the nail on the head all kinds of ways.

You know, one of the most common attributes nearly all inexperienced guys have in common is they’re stubborn. You tell them to do something, and they won’t do it because they’ve already put themselves on a certain path and they don’t want to get off it. Or they want to finish this thing they’re working on.

And that’s a good habit to have (focus; follow-through). And I’m that way to a large extent myself, or was originally (now I’m more diversified: focused in where focused in is useful, big picture where that’s more useful), so I do relate.

But if you want to do better with girls, and if you want to sleep with more girls, a big part of that is going to come from learning to be flexible, and recognize the opportunities you’ve been letting slip by you wholly unrecognized.

What the Romance Novel Tells Us Women Want

Romance novels contained distilled versions of women’s deepest fantasies. So what do they have to teach us about what women want? Tons.
Female Mind

romance novelIn 2013, women purchased over $800 million worth of romance novels.

They’re not doing that because their desires for erotic stimulation are fully sated by their real-life encounters; they’re doing that because they are STARVED for it.

Whether she’s 15 or 55, a woman loves the thought of being swept up with a Rochester or a Romeo. Yet, as she ages, and life repeatedly denies her this, her faith in ever experiencing such a romance wanes, and she retreats further into a world of make-believe, out-of-reach eroticism.

The success of the romance novel directly reflects this general discontent women have with men in the Anglosphere; its popularity implies that women largely are surrounded by men who are not satisfying them on an emotional level… let alone a physical one.

Because of this, if you can teach yourself to be a man who CAN provide erotic stimulation IN REAL LIFE, your relationships will shine with mutual satisfaction.

Sound like a tall order? Perhaps it is. Luckily, there is a cheat-sheet out there that makes manifesting this reality a little easier:

Romance novels.

What to Do to Not be the Cold Playboy Everyone Hates

It’s easy to become the cold, callous playboy manipulating others to get what he wants. But there’s a better way than this.

Ever sleep with a new girl, only to end up feeling empty inside once all is said and done?

Ever struggle with seeing yourself as a victim, blaming the world for not giving you what it owes you?

Ever start taking successes and failures far too personally, and letting them mess with and control your emotions?

Ever let your own false sense of superiority lead you to treat other people in ways you later wish you hadn’t?

Sometimes it feels like you might never win. Everyone seems to have their game together except you. You feel like you are always trying to “catch up”. It eats away at you subconsciously until you seek the lows you are used to. You rationalize away fleeting successes. You feel overwhelmed and, worst of all, you aren’t sure you enjoyed it all that much.

cold playboy

Recently I have been afforded a window of opportunity to study this feeling in myself again. It has been a long time since I have felt like this with women, but now as I reflect upon it I think it is a topic worthy of getting into for you guys.

How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid

Naturals rarely seem to approach, so where do they meet the women they sleep with? Do girls approach them, or is something else going on?
Pickup Tech

One of the big mysteries for a lot of guys who are new to pickup is just how, exactly, men who are ‘naturals’ with women meet enough women to have the partner volume they do.

naturals get laid

If you’ve ever had a talented natural friend, you’ll notice it seems like he never does a cold approach, and spends most of his time just hanging around and socializing, and yet, somehow, unless you’re doing huge volumes of cold approaches yourself, he just runs laps around you lay-count-wise.

You stop by to grab him for lunch and he’s walking yet another girl out of his place, hair disheveled and a wistful look in her eye.

Where do guys who are genuine naturals with women meet all the girls they sleep with?

How to Use Pattern Interrupts to Bust Through LMR

Much of LMR (last minute resistance) is a woman’s auto-response to standard escalation. With pattern interrupts, you can circumvent this.
Pickup Tech

Hey guys. Today I’ve decided to share a practical technique that will allow you to minimize your chances of facing last minute resistance (LMR). Last minute resistance is basically when you have managed to open and bring a girl back home and she backs off at the last minute when you are escalating to sex – i.e., pulling your hand away often followed with something along the line “I think we should wait, “I am not that kind of girl”, or “Maybe another time”.

pattern interrupt

I have shared numerous reports covering some real life seductions from A-Z. In the comment sections on these posts, some of you guys have asked me to write about last minute resistance. Unfortunately I was not able to write all too much about it in my reports, simply because I did not face any.

Now, if you do have some serious problems with last minute resistance, I would suggest you check out these posts first:

That being said, this post will help you avoid last minute resistance in the future and will be of great help if you are struggling with women backing off at the last minute.

How to Be a Freak in Bed, Pt. 4: Shagging Like a Pornstar

The rabbit hole of depraved, debaucherous sex goes deeper: yet more things to do that make men shrink in horror, and women squeal with glee.
Relationship 101

Welcome back to the freaky deaky parade, my friends. Here’s the rundown:

  • In our first article, we discussed how all women are freaks, and why they therefore also love kinky men.

  • In the second article, we covered some introductory techniques, like dirty talk and spanking.

  • And in the third article, we stepped up our game a bit with some bondage, choking, and other more risqué techniques.

Now? Well, I’ve been quite graphic with this series, but this article will blow the rest away.


But before I get into the slimy details, let’s recap why you should do these things with women, even if you’re not that kinky yourself.

Putting the Heart Work in to Truly Break Through

Sometimes you strive to be the best you can be; sometimes you demand others accommodate you. But what do you do when both ways fail?

In any endeavor there are two kinds of difficulty:

  • Those obstacles that can be overcome by the resources you have access to (in the woods you can make a fire to keep warm),

  • And those obstacles that cannot be attained by seemingly any means (in those same woods you find out what it takes to survive).

heart work

In response to these two types of difficulty there are often two ways people respond: they become a "workaholic" in regards to the things they can influence, or they become a "protestor" for a certain kind of symbolic change that will modify what is attainable and what isn't.

These two kinds of difficulties lead to much of what you can see in the world, whether it be the man protesting how girls need to change, or the man who constantly strives to be "on top" so that he might have greater perceived value than others.

When it comes to HARD work both types of men have justifications for their own version.

Whether the argument is about responsibility or about change often shapes a man's image to the rest of the world. Is he hard at work at being the best of the choices we have, or is he hard at work to expand/change those choices? Both approaches have their merits, but I introduce you to these two approaches to illustrate a third kind of difficulty.