Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Quit Ignoring Your Sexual Intuition

I’ve tried to pin down what separates guys who have success with women and guys who don’t. I’ve come to the conclusion that guys who have good game have better intuition when it comes to women.

They notice the escalation windows, they know when to go for the kiss, and they know how to get her to bed. Naturals act on this intuition naturally. Guys like me had to earn through repeated failure and reading literature on the subject.

This article will break down how to develop a natural’s sexual intuition.


Will Netflix and Chill Actually Get You Sex?

2015’s most popular humorous way to suggest a girl coming over to your place to hook up has been the phrase ‘Netflix and chill’, mostly used to joke about hooking up online, like so:

Netflix and chill

Netflix and chill

Netflix and chill

So, as we’re concerned on this site with what actually works, two questions then:

  1. Should you ever use ‘Netflix and chill’, or any other trendy line like this?

  2. How good are humorous/trendy lines at getting girls back to your place?

This post will answer both.

The 5 Factors of Successfully Picking Up Girls

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing great.

Recently I have posted A LOT of practical posts - covering techniques and tactics in addition to some real life situations of me in the field. I haven't posted any theoretical posts in a long time. Although I prefer the practical element of seduction - I find them more interesting and useful - I still believe some theory can help you understand how this all fits together.


Note that I will still give you some practical examples when explaining this theoretical model though - so for those of you who like to read practical stuff, there will be plenty of goodies in here for you as well.

Today I would like to discuss 5 key factors that I believe have an effect on whether you will get the girl or not.

The key factors are:

Some of these factors can sometimes affect one another (but not necessarily). Everything in seduction is more or less connected. This is why understanding the whole picture is key in order to succeed at this.

Now, understand this before I move on: nothing when it comes to seduction is static. This means that any of the factors listed above are prone to change any minute. However, there are no guarantees that they will do so - and sometimes you simply cannot do much about a particular situation.

There are 3 things you can do to affect these 5 factors:

  • Directly affecting it - with your pick-up and seduction skills (such as affecting her mood - which is what seduction is primarily all about)

  • Move on, drop it, and meet new women. Oftentimes, this is the best solution (if you've persisted 3 times and you are still getting nowhere, better move on)

  • Focus on another key factor and hope that the changes that you might trigger on one factor will bypass any difficulty (so let us say that both your and her logistics sucks, then if you manage to get her so horny - to the point of no return - logistics will not matter anymore)

Anyway, I do not expect you to get all this right away. If anything is unclear so far, that is totally fine, because I will use the rest of this post to explain everything above in more depth, followed by some examples. Hopefully, by the end of this post, everything becomes clearer for you.

Let's get on with it.

Falling in Love, Part II: Finding Love at First Sight

This is Part II of a 2-part series on reaching the point where you feel comfortable feeling emotion for women. You can read Part I, on ending your own fear of romance, here.

In this article, we’ll discuss how to experience love at first sight... regularly.

love at first sight

How can you train yourself to spot girls who are perfect for you, feel that connection for them, and then, ideally, act on it?

There are three (3) prerequisites for you to do this:

  1. You must live in a decent-sized city (say, population over 500,000)
  2. You must have experienced love at first sight before
  3. You must be at least a little excited by beautiful women

It might still be (probably is) possible to pull this off if you’re missing one of the requirements, but you’ll face a bit of an uphill battle getting there.

For best results, you’ll want all three.

How to Handle Awkward Dating Situations

An attractive girl grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. We danced together for a couple seconds before I made up an excuse to stop dancing with her and ran off. I got scared that she would find out that I couldn’t dance and things would get awkward.


That night I walked home kicking myself, questioning what caused me to run away.

There was another time where I wanted to make a move on a girl that was my friend, but the time was never right. I was worried she might reject me and things might get awkward. I waited years to finally make a move but by that time the attraction was gone and she had moved me to the brother zone.

Finally, I have been in relationships where girls did little things that I didn’t like. But rather than bring it up early, I would bite my tongue. I was afraid to make things awkward. I would let these incidents happen until either she would lose respect for me or I would blow up on her about something insignificant.

Something that is not often discussed about success with women is how awkward things can get and how men’s fear of awkwardness leads to them never pushing the boundaries and holding back their success.

Falling in Love, Part I: How to Quit Fearing Romance

This one’s Part I of a 2-part special request for an old student of mine from Denmark.

We had the opportunity to catch up, about a week ago, after not having spoken in a while. One of the things we discussed was love at first sight; in particular, how frequently we experience it and whether it’s always been that way.

For me, love at first sight began as a spontaneous event that occurred maybe 2 to 4 times per year: I’d go around, most days nothing, but then, one day, some girl would pop out at me from the crowd, and she would be PERFECT. Even her flaws would be perfect. For whatever reason, I’d be crazy for her.

falling in love

Over time, I’ve trained myself to spot girls I’ll get this feeling for even more readily, and now sometimes I’ll run into multiple girls I’ll get this feeling for in the course of a week. It’s certainly much more common than 2 to 4 times a year for me now. There are other factors involved than training, of course, too (preferring to spend time in big metropolises with lots of beautiful, fashionable women makes this much easier).

For my alumnus, it’s gone in the reverse direction: he used to feel it now and then until he met his high school girlfriend, a love-at-first-sight coupling that ended when she tore his heart out and stomped it underfoot at 17. At 35 and dozens of lays and relationships under his belt, he’s never felt ‘in love’ with a girl since, and never experienced love at first sight again.

I asked him, and do you think she just raised your standards so high no other girl can meet them, or do you think she just hurt you so bad you haven’t let yourself feel anything since?

He told me it was the latter.

I gave him my thoughts on getting some emotional freedom, and on training oneself to experience love at first sight more often. But he asked me if I could write an article on the subject too.

So here, it is, split into two parts: Part I, on stripping yourself of fear of love and romance, and next time, Part II, on finding more of those girls that you are just crazy about.

Offline Another 4 Hours While We Upgrade Tonight

We'll be working on our site upgrade again this evening, so expect some downtime. Should be about 4 hours. Everything should be working normally after that though, and the changes should be all but invisible.


Sleazy Sex Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well. This post will be answering similar questions to last week’s post – discussing calibration and sexual escalation. Today however we will be more focused on sex talk.

sleazy sex talk

Before I begin, let me repost a relevant question from one of our readers “Anonymous”:

I was thinking, what’s the difference between the sleazy guys who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalation vs. sexy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalation? And I read your sequence in “Physical Escalation in Public”;What happens when we escalate at the wrong sequence (too much)? thanksalek ;)

Last time we discussed calibration and escalation. Some of the questions answered last time were:

  • When should one start to escalate

  • How can one escalate without triggering huge amounts of resistance

  • Tips and tricks to avoid resistance

  • How to calibrate your escalation

Now last time we discussed “escalation” in general without focusing too much on whether we were talking about verbal or physical (non-verbal) game, because the concepts discussed in the last post were applicable to both.

Anything discussed in the previous post is valid for verbal seduction (sex talk) and hence can work as a great foundation for what I am about to discuss here. Today however we will focus on calibrating sexual verbals, and learn how to avoid triggering resistance while doing so.

4 Hours of Downtime Tonight While We Upgrade Site

Hey there,

Just a quick update that will be down from about 1 AM EST to 5 AM EST this evening while we upgrade the website architecture.

This should not affect how you use the site, and any changes you see to GC should be minimal.

If you're online at this time and need your fix, the forum will still be open.


What Backward Rationalization is, and How It Affects You with Girls

There’s a little-discussed concept in seduction called “backward rationalization”, where someone attributes reasons for a choice or action after-the-fact, rather than before it.

A simple example is you bring a girl home after a date and escalate on her, nearly to the point of sex. If you then have sex, there’s a good chance afterward she looks back and says, “Well, we had sex because he was attractive / charming / had a good body / etc.”

backward rationalization

If on the other hand you do not have sex, there’s a fair chance she looks back after and says, “Well, we didn’t have sex because I wasn’t really that into him.”

In both cases, it may have simply been that you pushed a little harder to get past last minute resistance in the first scenario, and in the second you got winded and gave up. But the narrative she retains about why you slept together or didn’t is completely different.

Backward rationalization can mean the difference between her thinking you’re great or her thinking you’re not... all due to the outcome you achieve with her.