Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Avoid Harsh Rejections from Girls


It sucks being on the receiving end of a harsh rejection.

In this video, I outline the steps every guy follows who doesn’t have to deal with these, so you can get around ever having to encounter harsh rejections too.

And here’s a hint: the steps you follow take you through the 4 vibes you progress through when you’ve met a new girl.

Here’s the video:

Girls in Groups: How to Tell Who’s a Leader or a Follower


When you’re approaching girls in groups, one of the most vital tasks you have ahead of you is to quickly ferret out who is the leader of the group, and who are the followers.

girls in groups

If you can tell who the leader is, you know how to proceed with courting the girl you like. If you don’t know who the leader is, it’s easy to mess this up, have all the girls bail on you, and end up standing around wondering what the heck happened.

You’ll tend to develop a natural instinct for discerning the group leader from the other girls in the group as you gain more exposure, so if you’re a veteran of bar/club game or social circle pickup, you’ll probably find you intuitively know which girls the leaders are soon into an interaction (or even before you say hello).

So if that’s you, this article may be a little basic for you... though I’d encourage you to tune in for the later two installments in this 3-part series, which will focus on picking up followers (one article) and picking up leaders (another article), for some important process distinctions.

If you’re just beginning to dip your toes into meeting women in non-solo situations (e.g., she’s not some girl you’ve approached on the street all by her lonesome), this guide will be just the thing to help you understand who’s who in the girl groups you meet.

Why to Never Take What Women Say at Face Value


what women sayA few hours ago I was in a girlfriend’s apartment with her and some of my girlfriend’s friends. I showered there, and when I finished my shower I left the bathroom in just a towel, then returned to dry my hair.

After my girlfriend’s friends had left, she told me one of her friends had seen me walking back and forth wrapped in my towel and proceeded to make an unpleasant face, then look away.

Now, if I was younger I might’ve been inclined to take this reaction at face value and assume there must be something wrong with my body, or maybe I don’t look that good in a towel and ought to stay covered up all the time. I’d feel self-conscious and take something like this as reason for doubt.

However, at this point, I know I’m in decent shape... I have some muscle, and little fat. I have arguably the best figure right now I’ve ever had. And I’ve had plenty of girls tell me I have a good body. So I know that “Ugh!” reaction likely doesn’t mean, “Ew, he’s so ugly.”

Instead, I figured this likely happened because that friend is devoutly religious, and her reaction was her forbidding herself to suffer impure thoughts / temptation. I told my girlfriend this, and she said that was her read as well (then asked me if I could stay dressed around her more conservative friends).

It seemed like a simple little interaction, but it highlighted an important point:

You must be careful not to take what women say or do at face value.

Stop Being So Considerate


A lot of guys are too considerate to get what they want out of life. It’s not that being inconsiderate is the key, it’s that sometimes you need to be inconsiderate to get the things you want. Our society venerates meek behavior but at the same time it rewards people who have the ability to be selfish.

It’s not about being completely one or the other though, it’s about knowing when to be what. But in order to know when to be inconsiderate, you have to learn how to do it properly.

considerate

Girls Chase Podcast Interviews Ep. 11: Chase Amante


In this podcast – the first of a two-parter – Varoon and I talk relationships: starting them, setting expectations properly, converting girls from new lays to regular partners, and the different relationship structures you can set up with women.

A selection of topics Varoon and I discuss:

Pickup for Beginners: How Novice Seducers Best Learn


Note from Chase: this post from Alek got lost in our editing department (it was a case of a vanishing email, apparently), and was supposed to precede Alek’s prior piece. So this was actually Part 1 of the series.


Hi there. I hope you are doing well. It is now time for me to write a post for you beginners, as I have spent a lot of time writing more advanced posts lately. I hope this post will be useful, as it is all about how one can get good fast in an era where there is an overload of great seduction material out there.

pickup for beginners

In a PM, a poster named Gifted wrote the following:

I know this is probably a big topic. I hope you’ll cover it in a forum post or on Girls Chase. Honestly, I’d love to read a post on how you would learn game yourself if you were put in a total beginner’s shoes tomorrow. I go out very regularly with the intention to improve. It’s been slow going though because I think I’m just not doing the right things to get good quickly.

So the idea is to write about how I would actually learn pick up, considering I had no seduction skills right now. This is a very hypothetical scenario and it is hard for me to really put myself in a beginner’s shoes, but I will try to do my best. Let us consider that some evil magic took place, putting me back at square one – a beginner in the art of seduction. Here is how I would do things.

7 Rules on How to Be the Alpha Provider


how to be an alpha providerLast week, I tackled the common pickup / manosphere belief that the ‘alpha provider’ is a myth: both why men in these communities often think this way, as well as why men who actually are alpha providers don’t usually find their ways into such communities to bother providing themselves as counterexamples to the claims of their non-existence.

Today we dive into the ‘how to’ side of things.

How do you avoid the gradual erosion of authority in a long-term relationship with a woman, and instead retain her attraction, respect, and deference?

How do you continue to be the lover, even when you assume the role of provider as well?

I’ve broken it down here into seven (7) rules: four of them external/behavior based, and three of them internal/mentality based.

We’ll start with behavior, and move to mentalities.

Here we go.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Friend Zone Date


friend zone date

Sometimes you’re out and about and you meet a girl and take a number from her.

And for whatever reason, she isn’t all that attracted to you.

Yet for whatever reason, she still gives you her phone number.

And then for whatever reason, she agrees to meet up with you.

But you can sense this one is going through the motions.

It might not quite be the friend zone yet, but it’s pretty darn close. And she doesn’t even know you.

So what do you do... just meet up with her anyway and hope you can change her mind?

Well, you CAN do that... but if you don’t have a game plan for it, it’s like opting for a few games of Black Jack when you don’t really understand how to play Black Jack.

There’s some chance you walk away with winnings, but most of the time you’re only going to waste your time, probably going to waste your money, and if your ego’s wrapped up in it you may well take a self-esteem hit too.

So let’s set out some strategy for those “friend zone” dates, and talk:

  • Prevention,
  • Treatment, and
  • Cure

Old Fashioned Sex Symbols vs. Modern Male Stars: What’s the Difference?


male sex symbols

I previously said (in this post) my next article would be “How to Be an Alpha Provider”... however, I’m going to switch things up today. Today’s article is about sex symbols: those of the past and those of today. And we’ll get back to the alpha providers again next week. Onwards, then.

Today’s article comes in response to a question from Byron on my article about self-cultivation regarding my preference for older male sex symbols over the more current ones Hollywood has to offer. Here’s what Byron had to say:

Hey,
I’ve recently come across several comments where you reference Sean Connery and Harrison ford as the epitome of raw sexiness. I was wondering if you could elaborate on this and why not the plethora of modern sex symbols, ie what makes them so different? Or if you could write an article on their appeal or a series on famous seducers/ role models I think that would be very interesting and relevant. Again just suggestions, I realize you are very busy. Thank you for this site!

That’s a fantastic question. Why do I recommend the older guys more than the newer guys? I had a few reasons, but part of me kind of wondered if maybe I just had some kind of nostalgia-bias when this subject’s come up in the past... maybe I’m simply guilty of thinking older is better.

Fortunately, this article’s forced me to really get down to nuts and bolts, and in the process of writing it, I learned a lot. Let’s dive in.

Think about your old school, old fashioned male sex symbols. Men like:

  • Gary Cooper
  • Cary Grant
  • James Garner
  • Sean Connery
  • James Dean
  • Harrison Ford

Compare them to the sex symbols of modern cinema. Men like:

  • Brad Pitt
  • Ryan Gosling
  • George Clooney
  • Ian Somerhalder

Do you notice anything?

I like all the guys in both of these lists. All are masters of their crafts, and there are buckets you can learn from watching the facial expressions, body language, and little nonverbal tics of each, as well as studying the way each man uses his voice and his overall demeanor.

However, there’s a clear difference between these two groups of men (that span about two generations each)... a large enough difference that while I personally suggest you take the time to study all of these men, when it comes to my own preferences, the only ones I ever find myself wanting to model outright are the ones from before.

And I sat down today and the one question on my mind was, “How do I best explain this difference?”

6 Basic Steps Every Guy Who Wants to Pick Up Women Must Know


pickup basics

Last time, we discussed how one should proceed to learn the art of seduction; how I would do things if I were a total beginner again. Today we will discuss the things I would recommend you to focus on if you are new – these are the things I would work on if I had to do the learning process all over again.

There is loads of information on this website and it can be very confusing to many newer readers to actually figure out what should be their priorities. I will list what I consider basics – or foundations – in this post. I will briefly explain the different elements, and will also provide links to more in depth articles throughout.

Now what will be discussed in this article are BASICS, but that doesn’t mean the material provided here is “beginner material”, quite the contrary, this article covers things that:

  • Are the foundation to most other (more advanced) material out there – without many of the concepts covered in this article, pulling off more fancy stuff will not work well unless you have the foundations in check

  • Many of the concepts in this article will be enough to get you laid.

  • The concepts covered are things that most seducers (even advanced seducers) will have to apply in most situations. I will not go as far as to say the concepts apply to every scenario, but not far from it.

Now, this post will not cover elements such as style (and grooming), body language, and basic attractive attitudes. Although it is recommended to have those things in check for best results, this post will focus on “outer game” – i.e., techniques and practical elements of seduction. Again, this is NOT an in depth post about each of the concepts, just a list with some quick info.

The six basics we will cover are:

  1. Opening

  2. Hooking in

  3. Isolation

  4. Escalation

  5. Extraction

  6. Persistence

Let us begin with an obvious key element one should focus on.

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