Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

CBT Series Part II: How to Do Behavior Therapy on Yourself


An introduction to cognitive therapy (CT) was given in the previous article in this series, and I recommend reading it before reading this article.

A short refresher on the article about cognitive therapy is that your mind is equipped with mechanisms that ensure you don't take on physical or social risks you cannot handle, like things that generate too much anxiety.

Your fears and limiting beliefs will, with regards to seduction, often be irrational or obsolete if you have taken action to improve yourself, and CT is a way to update your mental map with more productive thoughts.

behavior therapy

But sometimes a purely cognitive approach will not work. Maybe you are doing something really wrong and have to integrate new behavior.

Or you might, for example, have absolutely no relevant reference experiences to back up the belief that you will be able to pick up a woman you don't know in advance or a woman who is very hot. And no matter how much you read that this is possible, or are told so by others, you still can not imagine it happening.

Then the pure cognitive approach must be complemented by new behavior and additional reference experiences, and now we are dealing with behavior therapy (BT).

Behavior therapy is a very big topic with many concepts and techniques; this article will go through the most relevant ones for improving your social skills. The main enemy here is social anxiety, which is intimately connected to social hierarchies. So let's have a brief discussion on how these two concepts are related.

Beating Your Girlfriend at Her Own Blame Game


blame gameIf you’re at all well-read or attentive on the subject of relationships, I’m sure you’ve noticed a ubiquitous trend: across cultures, across history, in nearly every relationship out there, women wear men down.

This used to be called ‘betaization’ in the seduction community, because it was the process of the male become the beta (#2) in the relationship to the female’s alpha (#1).

Give women time, and they pull this off with just about every guy.

Oh, sure, you see the exceptions – the guy who lords over his domain like a king, with a warm and doting long-term girlfriend or wife (or, sometimes, a submissive and cowering one).

But boy is it ever rare, rare, rare.

What makes it so rare? How is it that women so gradually and steadily work even the mightiest of men under their thumbs?

And if you’d like to remain the king of your castle... the lord of your domain... what can you do to prevent this – and how do you sidestep this taming process that nearly every man in a long-term relationship, given enough time, almost inevitably submits to?

4 Dos and 5 Don'ts for Interracial Dating


Interracial dating is a topic on the minds of many people these days, and definitely a social topic that’s come more and more to the forefront of our culture. I predict that most men in the West will have had at least one romantic encounter with a girl of a different race within the next 20 years.

interracial dating

So how does a man go about handling interracial dating the right way? It is this question that I’ll be looking to answer in this post. I’m going to cover the biggest dos and don’ts in terms of your approach and execution of interracial dating.

And I want to preface all of the information that you’ll find in this post by saying that these dos and don’ts are geared toward interracial dating in the West.

Although I’ve done my fair share of interracial dating around the globe, I am focusing on the dynamic in the West because I think it’s the most nuanced.

Moreover, since masculine-feminine roles are more traditional in other parts of the world, as long as you present yourself as gentlemen with strong masculine values and some level of substance, women of nearly any race will welcome your approach and at least give you a chance to show what you have to offer.

Why Societies Impose Sexual Moralism on Their Members


sexual moralism

Welcome back for more sexual ethics. In this post we won’t be analyzing what is right or wrong, but instead why things are the way they are.

As this website primarily discusses sexuality, relationships, and seduction, this post will cover why certain moral attitudes around these topics are the way they are. We will also try to understand why many religions and societies advocate rather asexual behavior.

In this post we will see that the reasons for why conventional (i.e., the common way of doing things) morals are dogmatic without good justification, and then we will discuss the real justification for those morals.

As a matter of fact, we might say that, conventionally speaking, having a lot of sex is immoral. We might ask the moralist why that is so and they might answer that “it just is” or something along the line of “It’s dirty; it’s important to have some self-respect.”

These are very circular and dogmatic arguments. This is the case for many other conventional moral principles and we must expect similar types of responses when we ask someone why things like polyamory, homosexuality, prostitution, and public sex are bad.

But we are still left with the question: why do people believe these things to be bad; why are people so stuck up and anti sex? Why are the conventional morals around sexuality so restrictive? The main reasons that you never hear of will be laid out in this post.

How to Get Laid in College, Pt. II: The Slowburn


Wassup everybody,

This is my second entry into the three part series on The Best College Seduction Styles, a subset of my expansive College Game series.

If you read the first article of the series, detailing my particular style, “Big Man on Campus” (BMOC), and didn’t find its exuberance attractive, then perhaps Slowburn is for you.

If BMOC is Muay-Thai – aggressive and forward – then Slowburn is Ninjutsu – subtle, but deadly when executing precision strikes.

how to get laid in college

How to Be Respected by Men and Women Alike


‘Respect’ is a thing we get a lot of questions on around here. Most regularly, how to command it. How do you make others respect you?

The easy answer is, you earn it. But that’s only half of the equation.

The other half is that you demand it.

how to be respected

Some will pay you respect you do not demand. But others will only respect you if you yank the respect out of their gullet with both hands.

And whenever someone has a problem with respect, it’s always because he’s lacking on one (or both) sides of the equation:

  1. He isn’t demanding respect, or
  2. He hasn’t earned it yet

Are You a Dirty Man? Well, You Should Be


dirty manI slept with a girl recently whose hands I pinned above her head during the act with one of mine. As I did this, she got visibly more excited, and said, “It kind of feels like you’re raping me.”

To which I whispered, with a sly grin, “And you like that, don’t you? That’s because you’re a dirty girl.” She crossed over into a peak of sexual excitement at this, and climaxed shortly after.

I was thinking about this, and about how much girls like being dirty girls (or at least thought of as dirty girls), and then thinking about the fact that women often consider me a dirty man. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t want to freak out readers who are still coming out of their sexual shells, but there’s not much you can do with girls that I won’t get a kick out of. And they always love all it themselves, of course.

Even before we make it to the bedroom I’m dirty though; I say dirty things to women I haven’t slept with yet, and to women I’ve just met. I touch them in inappropriate ways in inappropriate places. I laugh off some hygiene “rules”, and act a little impulsively and don’t know anything about popular culture fixtures they plan their lives around. I don’t remotely fit into their little neat life plans, and they can’t get enough of it.

And it strikes me that one of the subconscious dividing mentalities between men who do well with women and men who do not is this enjoyment at rolling around in the dirt... being at home in it. Because most men want to be clean, organized, and on-point, not loose and dirty. Dirt – and loss of control – frightens and reviles them. Dirty stuff SHOCKS and appalls them.

Yet this is a bigger signal to women about where a man ranks in the sexual hierarchy than you might think... and being uptight about cleanliness and orderliness and maintaining social politeness rules is just one of those things the kinds of guys girls long for aren’t. Mr. Über Sexy of 50 Shades of Grey-ville and Mr. Neat-&-Clean of Tidyville are two very different people, and you get one guess as to which one women want.

Cut the Inner Safety Monologue and Learn to Fly


The path to independence and confidence is not safe inner monologues, but your ability to face your anxieties and become strong enough to start cutting those inner monologues off.

You have to expect to move beyond safety and face off against greater anxiety. It is a hard path, but it is a path to forging a stronger identity, and a stronger identity will make everything come a lot more smoothly.

We all start out “feeling safe”, and think things like “improving is for those other guys”, and we grow comfortable feeling superior to them. You might have found yourself after a long day starting to drift into thought patterns where you try to lift yourself up by tearing others down in your mind: “He is just a fool”, “She just is superficial”, “If only they were smarter they would have seen my value.”

safety monologue

Ironically, however, this feeling of safety and superiority doesn’t help you out; it just cements weak behavior patterns and leaves you likely to have poor coping skills in future situations.

Next Level Seduction Pt. 1: Showing R-Selection


Note from Chase: this is a solid article from Colt on highlighting lover qualities and downplaying provider qualities to up your odds and better your outcomes with women. However, I do want to note that the way Colt's applying r/K selection theory here is based on the pickup community repurposing of the theory, rather than its ecological definition, which differentiates between r- and K-selected species by traits like rapid growth vs. slow growth rather than between different individuals within the same species employing differing intrapsecific mating strategies, as is done in some pickup circles where the term “r-selected” is used as a standin for “lover” and “K-selected” as a standin for “provider.” Obviously, if you take the path of the lover, this will not help your children reach maturity any faster than those of providers, nor will women birth you large litters of offspring any more consistently than they otherwise would. Clarification out of the way, on with the article...!


We spend a lot of time on this site covering a wide array of topics: from mindsets, to fundamentals, to esoteric social observations, to process. And although we do have some quality posts on advanced topics, I thought that it was time to dedicate a series of posts to deep seduction topics – which I am naming “Next Level Seduction”.

And the first up in this roster of posts is R-Selection. For people reasonably well-steeped in the pickup community, R-Selection should be a fairly familiar term to you.

For those of you who don’t know what R-Selection is: it’s the single most important factor to determining whether or not a girl will sleep with you quickly, how sexually open she will be with you, and whether or not she will be upset if she knows about – or even sees you with – other girls.

r-selection

So, is R-Selection important? Yeah, it’s kind of important. So today I’m going to talk about what R-selection is and how to demonstrate it to women.

Why I Don’t Tell Women to “Step It Up”


A reader on the article about girls with boyfriends writes in with a sentiment I’ve noticed popping up increasingly often on GirlsChase.com:

But what really saddens me is the feminist undertone that lurks all around this thinking that on the other side look like male dominance. And the question is: Why is it men that have to become perfect? Why is there no such a need for women? Leadership, selfish genes, everything I already know. But I want a higher standpoint. Why are men the only ones that have to step up, and not women?

women step it up

This is one that in fact I’ve answered repeatedly in the comments sections of various articles... but I realize not everyone reads those, they’re kind of hard to search / keep track of, and new people roll in and wonder the same things, especially if there isn’t a single place strictly for answering a particular question. So it’s time for it to get a dedicated article.

Why don’t women have to improve? Why don’t women have to step it up? How come they get a free pass... while men have all this pressure to “be perfect”?

It doesn’t seem very fair.

The fact is though, there is TONS of pressure on women to step it up and be perfect – including, indirectly, on this site.

However, this is a men’s site for men, and asking GC to write chastisingly-worded “You better shape up your act, ladies – or else!” articles for women misses the point – that we are here to instruct men who want to up their results, rather than to be just another shrill voice haranguing those who don’t want to “follow the rules” and tell them that they’d better get their acts in gear.