Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Elegance, Sexiness, and Average, Normal People


elegance & sexinessI was sitting in a cafeteria having a quick bite to eat the other day when I saw an elegantly dressed young woman in a long but casual summer dress stroll in at the far side of the cafeteria, turn about slowly and elegantly as she assessed her surroundings – perhaps looking for someone, or perhaps just deciding if there was anywhere here she wanted something to eat from – before at last turning and walking back out the door she’d come through again, still with great elegance.

I’ve been thinking about elegance lately, and its cousin, sexiness. It occurs to me that taken together, these two qualities can largely describe every attractive person out there: he or she is either elegant, or sexy, or some mix of both.

It also occurs to me that almost no one out there really is all that elegant or sexy at all... neither the men nor the women, and it doesn’t matter where in the world you go to or what country you visit.

There are lessons here, for what you look for in a mate, what you allow yourself to feel entitled to enjoy, and how you construct yourself, and I think they’re all worth peeling back.

Appearances: Upping Your Looks & the 5 Guys to Be


upping your looksWe’ve all asked the question “How can I make the most of my looks?”, and today I’m going to tell you a bit about how you can do that without adjusting your fashion sense or wardrobe.

I’m going to tell you how your appearance is impacted by what you do and who you appear to be.

Looks are not as cut and dry as model versus normal guy. They DO change according to your mood, what you are doing, and the chemistry you have with different people.

You should never just immediately assume the worst, and that you aren’t attractive, because things are much more flexible than we typically think they are.

The good news is, people will always find attractive things about you if you are being personally magnetic, so it is actually impossible for people to not find good things about you if you are engaging. The way to be engaging, summed up in a word, is to be self-positive, because the more positive you are to yourself the more positive your disposition to the world. That is something that cannot be faked, and therefore is an honest indicator that shows women the presence of the strong traits that they actually LOOK FOR in men.

This also works the other way, because objective looks nosedive when a person is in a bad mood. So don’t feel too bad for yourself; other people get a rough deal at times too, and you can get a good deal for yourself if you are diligent in your self-improvement and outlook.

Crazy Girls: 9 More Clear Signs You Should Run from Her


crazy girlsRemember that girl you dated in high school? You know, that really cute one with the seductive laugh who hemmed you all up and then started acting like a complete loony bird?

If you’ve been out of the house much, I’m sure that rings true for many a woman that you’ve dated or maybe even ended up in a relationship with.

A study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry on “Mental Health of College Students and Their Non–College-Attending Peers” found that 1 in 5 young adults have a personality disorder, based on interviews with 5,092 persons aged 19 to 25 in 2001 and 2002.

So, crazy people are everywhere. You’re probably wondering: how do you spot them before you get involved with them? And more importantly, how do know when you’re dating one of these crazy girls?

Well my good friend, wonder no more. What follows this brief introduction will serve you well as a complete guide to detecting those mad as a March hare, no matter how well they think they cover it up.

How to Stop Overthinking It and Make a Move


It is a common problem: you didn’t make a move and now you are stuck between a rock and a hard place where the girl loses interest and things start to fall to pieces.

make a move

So how do you keep that from happening?

Simple: you make the move.

Maybe that seems like a too-simple answer, and maybe it is, but if you can’t make your moves work when the occasion demands you do, then why sit around convincing a girl that “one day” you will be able to?

The truth of it is that if you can’t get it working at the start, you will usually be left with only one direction things can go: downhill.

If you can’t make up a good move on the spot, you probably won’t come up with a good move later... you’ll just linger around wishing you did something and get into a destructive thought loop that will stop you from making up a new move that would work.

The secret to not overthinking making the move is to realise that the action is first won in the mind before it is acted out confidently in real life. And it is won in the mind by establishing a habit of action. And if that action doesn’t exist, then it is won by having nerves of steel, and hopefully a creative spark that will take you somewhere.

New Relationship? Don’t Blow It; Do These 8 Things


new relationship

A new relationship can be a time of great excitement, passion, butterflies, and anticipation of what’s to come. Or… it can be a disaster, and over just as quickly as it started.

I’m sure we’ve all been there. It’s a terrible feeling to get caught up in all of that excitement and emotion one day only to have it all taken away from you the next.

So how do you avoid this unfortunate scenario? I’m going to show you the 8 things you need to do to make sure that your new relationship starts off of on good footing and continues as smoothly as it can.

Why Elliot Rodger Killed 6 People... and Himself


In case you haven’t seen it yet, a 22-year-old named Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree, stabbing to death three people, shooting three more, and then turning the gun on himself.

Before doing so, he posted a video on YouTube in which he talks about his rationale:


Out of curiosity, I watched it, though I usually prefer avoiding the news since there’s always another death, always another killing... yet in a rather mixed batch of emotions, covering everything from horror to rage to sadness to recognition, I knew exactly what I was seeing.

Because I think a lot of young males in Western society go through what Elliot went through – I know certainly I did – and while it’s easy (and undoubtedly true) to say that had he hung in there a few more years, his life would’ve gone dramatically differently, as would have the lives of his victims, it’s worth taking a moment to understand what was going on inside the man that prompted him to do things he could never take back...

... and also, for anyone bothered by thoughts of following a similar path, what he should have done instead.

What's Different When Picking Up Professional Women?


professional womenIn “How to Use Situationally Relevant Openers with Women”, a reader named Christopher made the following comment:

Hello, Chase!
This post is great to develop your skill.
But, there was a situation I was stuck.An interesting one.
I was always successful with women since 2011, using simple and funny pickups. But I entered in an environment with high caliber women. They are very experienced and hard to control, but still show enough interest, so I can’t give up on them. I can’t say that there is no male concurrence. Real men with huge fundamentals.
So, could you write a post on a professional pickup, cause there have little effect on them.(they have seen a lot like this)

It’s a little hard to follow, but if I’m reading it right Christopher’s recently run into a problem in that the approach he’s found success with picking up other kinds of women has fallen flat with professional (career) girls, who tend to be more used to holding their own around men and are frequently surrounded by plenty of ambitious and successful male options in their work and social lives.

And that’s actually a great observation (assuming I’m reading the comment right)... it IS quite different picking up professional women than other categories of women (students, retail / service industry workers, etc.).

They look for and respond to different things, and if you aren’t expecting that or aren’t calibrated to what women in the professional world are looking for, you can quickly be thrown for a loop.

How to Become Selfish in Life


how to be selfishSelfishness has never been a glorified trait among humanity. Caring chiefly about one’s own needs is frequently named as one of the greatest threats to society and causes of degeneration and degradation within it.

After all, a selfish man is supposed to be a guy who offers nothing to society. He’s nothing but some leech that cares about himself, and he’ll go to great lengths just to put down others so he can stay on top.

…Right?

Au contraire. Used in the wrong capacity, sure, selfishness could certainly hurt others. However, being selfish, in of itself, is not bad. Thinking about it as a negative trait, however, may certainly be introducing a daily dose of cognitive dissonance to your life.

Such dissonance comes to the fore as you finally realize the inevitable fact that everyone has selfish tendencies.

We all aim to promote ourselves first, followed by others. Throw a big steak in front of you while you’re starving, and have the option to leave it there for someone else or die, and you’re eating that steak.

Survival is coded into our biology.

However, society promotes the idea that leaving the steak would be more admirable. Promoting ourselves over others is bad, and we should instead seek to help others over ourselves.

The conflict between society’s vaunted ideal of selflessness versus your biological desire to tend to your own needs mounts and builds, and eventually people are left attempting to help each other become better, but never helping themselves become better, even though they are the only ones who can do so.

And that, my friends, leads us in a perfect circle of solving nothing.

Does Seduction Only Work on Sluts?


seduction slutsWe recently moderated yet another comment where the comment author (a woman this time, though we get both men and women doing this) weighed in with something like, “I think this only works on women who aren’t as strict about who they sleep with or are more sexually open.”

We get comments like this sometimes.

The non-politically correct way of saying what she just said, of course, is, “This only works on sluts.”

This is a pretty common viewpoint among first-time readers of seduction-related materials, male and female alike. They read it; it grates with their belief systems; and they respond back stating that they’re pretty sure this only works on XYZ category of women that does not include them (or does not include the women that they date or want to date or have a crush on if they’re male).

And they make the statement that, “This only works on sluts,” and feel much better about themselves.

There, says the woman, now everyone knows that *I* am not a slut, and this would never work on *me*.

At last, says the man, someone has set the record straight, and shown these people that women like my precious Esmeralda would NEVER go for a man like this.

Yet, out of the black-and-white polarities of the all-text Internet, the real world is far more nuanced than those who would polarize womankind into “good girls” and “sluts” would have you (and themselves) believe.

What Are Women Looking For? The Top 10 Things


A topic that surfaces among men of all skill levels is understanding what women are looking to get out of their lives. It seems like women are much more fleeting with their greater desires than men are.

However, there are some general themes that I believe dictate how women act in their daily lives and in the long term. Women expect many things, and they are looking for a lot of fulfillment in their lives.

women looking for

And one great source of that fulfillment can be a good man. Or more specifically, you. So I want to talk about what women are looking for in general, and then frame the actual top ten list in terms of how women expect men to fit into the overall scheme of their lives.