Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Cut the Inner Safety Monologue and Learn to Fly


The path to independence and confidence is not safe inner monologues, but your ability to face your anxieties and become strong enough to start cutting those inner monologues off.

You have to expect to move beyond safety and face off against greater anxiety. It is a hard path, but it is a path to forging a stronger identity, and a stronger identity will make everything come a lot more smoothly.

We all start out “feeling safe”, and think things like “improving is for those other guys”, and we grow comfortable feeling superior to them. You might have found yourself after a long day starting to drift into thought patterns where you try to lift yourself up by tearing others down in your mind: “He is just a fool”, “She just is superficial”, “If only they were smarter they would have seen my value.”

safety monologue

Ironically, however, this feeling of safety and superiority doesn’t help you out; it just cements weak behavior patterns and leaves you likely to have poor coping skills in future situations.

Next Level Seduction Pt. 1: Showing R-Selection


Note from Chase: this is a solid article from Colt on highlighting lover qualities and downplaying provider qualities to up your odds and better your outcomes with women. However, I do want to note that the way Colt's applying r/K selection theory here is based on the pickup community repurposing of the theory, rather than its ecological definition, which differentiates between r- and K-selected species by traits like rapid growth vs. slow growth rather than between different individuals within the same species employing differing intrapsecific mating strategies, as is done in some pickup circles where the term “r-selected” is used as a standin for “lover” and “K-selected” as a standin for “provider.” Obviously, if you take the path of the lover, this will not help your children reach maturity any faster than those of providers, nor will women birth you large litters of offspring any more consistently than they otherwise would. Clarification out of the way, on with the article...!


We spend a lot of time on this site covering a wide array of topics: from mindsets, to fundamentals, to esoteric social observations, to process. And although we do have some quality posts on advanced topics, I thought that it was time to dedicate a series of posts to deep seduction topics – which I am naming “Next Level Seduction”.

And the first up in this roster of posts is R-Selection. For people reasonably well-steeped in the pickup community, R-Selection should be a fairly familiar term to you.

For those of you who don’t know what R-Selection is: it’s the single most important factor to determining whether or not a girl will sleep with you quickly, how sexually open she will be with you, and whether or not she will be upset if she knows about – or even sees you with – other girls.

r-selection

So, is R-Selection important? Yeah, it’s kind of important. So today I’m going to talk about what R-selection is and how to demonstrate it to women.

Why I Don’t Tell Women to “Step It Up”


A reader on the article about girls with boyfriends writes in with a sentiment I’ve noticed popping up increasingly often on GirlsChase.com:

But what really saddens me is the feminist undertone that lurks all around this thinking that on the other side look like male dominance. And the question is: Why is it men that have to become perfect? Why is there no such a need for women? Leadership, selfish genes, everything I already know. But I want a higher standpoint. Why are men the only ones that have to step up, and not women?

women step it up

This is one that in fact I’ve answered repeatedly in the comments sections of various articles... but I realize not everyone reads those, they’re kind of hard to search / keep track of, and new people roll in and wonder the same things, especially if there isn’t a single place strictly for answering a particular question. So it’s time for it to get a dedicated article.

Why don’t women have to improve? Why don’t women have to step it up? How come they get a free pass... while men have all this pressure to “be perfect”?

It doesn’t seem very fair.

The fact is though, there is TONS of pressure on women to step it up and be perfect – including, indirectly, on this site.

However, this is a men’s site for men, and asking GC to write chastisingly-worded “You better shape up your act, ladies – or else!” articles for women misses the point – that we are here to instruct men who want to up their results, rather than to be just another shrill voice haranguing those who don’t want to “follow the rules” and tell them that they’d better get their acts in gear.

CBT Series Part I: How to Do Cognitive Therapy on Yourself


Any guy who has ever set his foot on a forum devoted to the study of seduction or who has purchased a book on the topic is likely to be familiar with the expressions “outer game” and “inner game”. He will know that “outer game” advice consists of learning new behaviors, while “inner game” advice is all about restructuring your cognition, or, in plain English, information processing and thought patterns.

cognitive therapy

However, not everybody knows that this is a kind of therapy that psychologists have been studying for decades and that they call “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” (commonly abbreviated CBT).

Its name indicates that it builds on the earlier method of pure cognitive therapy (CT) and also on behavior therapy (BT). Both psychologists and aspiring seducers have been discussing which therapy is more effective, but, at least among the psychologists, there is more or less agreement that the combination of CT (“inner game”) and BT (“outer game”) is more effective than either alone.

This should not be surprising; if you approach a problem from multiple angles you are more likely to solve it.

This first article in the new series I am kicking off on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will address the CT part and teach you how to systematically challenge and defeat negative though patterns and unproductive beliefs.

Nearly everybody has something to work with here; there are very few people who are totally free from what are commonly known as “issues”.

How to Get Laid in College, Pt. I: “Big Man on Campus” Game


Note from Chase: Hector’s one of our senior discussion board members, and has posted a slew of often outrageous and always entertaining lay reports in the Field Reports Board, where he’s cleaned up with naughty coeds. Hector wanted to give back a bit, and so he’s sat down to put together a series of articles to teach you everything he knows about sleeping with women by the fistful in the hallowed halls of university. Take it away, Hector...


Greetings fellow studs in development…

I’m Hector. And I’m here to shed some light on pulling tail in college. But, first, a bit of background information, so you feel “connected” to me and all that.

Before finding Girls Chase I considered myself quite the ladies man and had crafted some decent natural game. But only a few years before that I didn’t even know what a vagina felt like. And boy was I curious. Unfortunately, I was a wallflower.

I sat silently and watched everyone else live seemingly exciting lives. A few times I tried to enter these social groups or cold approach girls, but I always hit walls of rejection. Truthfully, I wasn’t socially calibrated enough to scale those walls. But I resolved to grind past the pain, learn how to navigate the social milieu, and get me some of dat pussy.

how to get laid in college

How to Avoid and Deal with False Rape Accusations


false rape accusationsSo you met a girl at a party. Both of you had been drinking, but not so much that either of you was stumbling around, slurring your speech, or anything. The attraction between the two of you was palpable; sparks flew through the air like electric currents, and one thing very quickly led to another.

After a night of passionate fun, she left with a smile on her face, bidding you farewell. You proceeded on with your life, a little happier for the encounter.

Then, a few weeks later, a pair of uniformed police officers showed up at your door. They were investigating the rape of an acquaintance of yours – the girl you’d slept with a few weeks back. You, they said, were the alleged perpetrator.

She said you’d raped her, they told you. They needed to ask you some questions and wondered if you might come downtown with them for a chat.

Immediately, your world was turned upside down. You had no choice but to hire an attorney at $200 an hour for a lot of hours if you didn’t want a one-way ticket to the soul-destroying prison-rape gulag of the penitentiary system. Friends distanced themselves from you; you feared work finding out, and firing you on the spot because “it’s not good for the company image to have someone accused of what you’ve been accused of on the books.” And forget about finding a girlfriend; now every girl you see looks like a potential accuser to you of a crime you did not commit.

The terrifying reality is that false rape accusations are as common or nearly as common as genuine rape reports to the police, according to the most reliable of the research studies out therebut nobody talks about it.

What causes it, why it happens, what to look for, how to avoid it, and how to deal with it. It’s taboo; it doesn’t fit the “agenda”, and you’re not allowed to mention it. Talking about the plight of the legions of men preyed upon by vicious women risks distracting from the discussion of the plight of the legions of women preyed upon by vicious men, and this festering boil is left undiscussed, and young men uninformed and unprepared.

Being slapped with a false rape accusation can be one of the most terrifying, isolating, and emasculating events that can befall a man, because another individual decides to leverage the power of “the system” to try to destroy his life, often for reasons he does not know or cannot comprehend. When it happens, there’s frequently no one you can talk to, because everyone just presumes you did it... after all, why would some girl go to the trouble of filing a police report accusing you of such a crime otherwise?

So let’s talk about it, because it needs to be talked about. Let’s discuss why this happens... how to steer far clear of the women who do it... and what to do if you get stuck in some Jezebel’s fly trap.

How to Not Be Shy


You know the feeling – the one where you see a group of people laughing about a movie you love or getting excited about an overseas location that you know like the back of your hand.

But there you are, standing on the outskirts of the group. Maybe you have a drink in your hand. Maybe you have your hands in your pockets. Maybe you have you arms crossed. Whatever the case may be, you feel intimidated, uneasy, and possibly even scared about the situation at hand.

how to not be shy

You want to be a part of the fun. You know you have something to offer. But the prospect of approaching new people – or worse, approaching that beautiful girl across the room – is much too daunting for your brain to grasp. So you sit there. Doing nothing. Feeling awkward. And then you go home, not making a splash – not even making a ripple.

And you wonder to yourself: “Will things always be like this? Will I ever overcome my shyness and actually connect with people?”

Well, if you’ve been wondering about how to not be shy, wonder no more. I’ve put together a complete primer on how to overcome shyness.

How to Get Girls to Your Hotel Room Without Reception Interfering


In this post I will tell you how you can increase your chances of bringing a girl over to your hotel room without being shut down by hotel receptionists.

There is nothing more annoying than having a good night out abroad, meeting an exotic girl, and then getting cockblocked by a silly receptionist. It has happened to me in the past, and it is terrible.

receptionist cockblock

Now the good news is that it hasn’t happened nearly as often as the times I have brought girls over and had sex in my hotel rooms.

Yet still, why risk being rejected at the door?

This post is a summary of my experiences from my trips this summer. I have been to five hotels this July/August and in none of them have I been cockblocked. The hotels were all in different countries, ranging from Spain, to Romania, Serbia, Ireland, and Scotland.

First of all, let us see why certain hotels reject male customers who try to bring a partner up to their room.

Releasing Your Past and Helping Girls Release Theirs


Ever deal with a girlfriend causing drama by just trying to get her to forget it?

This can seem the expedient path, but rarely is it the most prudent one.

It is just human nature that we don’t want to forget the things that got the better of us. We dwell on the past to avoid getting bested again in the future.

However, in order to make sure the old wounds are not sabotaging us in the present, we have to remember that moving forwards is more important than reminding ourselves of the past.

girl's past

We get stuck in a perpetual loop after bad things have happened sometimes, and that is okay, but sometimes we just need a little help to step outside of those troubles so we can start seeing ourselves acting normal again before we get past it.

Girls are just like anyone else when it comes to the past because they don’t know how to address the same issues if faced with them again in the future. When they face them again they will gain a heightened awareness of how fragile their situation is and worry about it.

Most guys address these concerns the wrong way: they make promises, ignore the looming possibility of reoccurrence of the issue, and target her “focusing on the past” as the problem to be eradicated. The only problem with that is GETTING HIT ONCE IS ENOUGH to double the pain when hit TWICE, so a girl is going exaggerate the importance of the issue if it is ignored.

Girls often mention the past because they are afraid that a positive stream of events they are having will be interrupted by the same BS. In order to help girls move past this, don’t make promises, don’t ignore that it can happen again, and don’t treat her memory and caution as the problem.

Attainability Woes; or, Why Girls Who Like You Reject You


Commenting on “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”, TR asks the following about girls who appear to like you, yet ultimately sabotage their interactions with you due to hang-ups:

I've noticed that even though I can have an outstanding interaction with a woman that clearly likes me, when it comes to closing she may still sabotage herself. This usually happens with women much taller than I am, and though I have no doubt that she really likes me, I'm also pretty certain that the height thing makes her a bit insecure. These women consistently fall over hard for me afterwards (lack of control + attraction is dynamite) but they have that mental block that sabotages them more often than not.

Do you think you could post up a follow-up article on how to handle things like this? Perhaps it has to do with setting the right frames, or maybe it's just a matter of letting go and looking for the right girls instead.

This is a great topic, and it's something you'll run into repeatedly if you're out meeting women fairly often: those girls who clearly like you, are into you, are attracted to you... yet who just won't let themselves do anything with you.

girl likes you but rejects you

It's a disconcerting affair the first couple of times you run into it. "I can tell she likes me," you say to youself. "Why the heck is she rejecting me?"

Ultimately, the problem always comes down to the same thing: attainability.

And no matter how swell a guy you are, how friendly, likeable, or attractive, for one reason or the other, she just doesn't view you as all that attainable... and ends up auto-rejecting.

While you can't always prevent this, once you understand why it's happening you can avoid it sometimes - either by preventing the problem from occurring in the first place, or by recognizing when it is occurring, and nipping it in the bud before it becomes something more dooming.