Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

She’ll Do What She Has to to Get What She Wants

get what she wants
Girls: pretty darn good at getting what they want from men.

Apologies if this is a little rough-written. I haven’t slept in 36 hours (save a pair of 30-minute cat naps) and just spent 24 of those hours in a hospital emergency ward (not for myself; the injured party’s going to be fine we think). There’s a story there, though not sure if I want to share it. Suffice it to say 24 hours in an emergency ward surrounded by people in dire conditions with loved ones wailing over terrible tragedies is not something you want to experience if you have the chance to avoid it.

If you’re waiting to hear back from me via email, please be patient; I’m back over at the hospital again tonight, and if I’m not too tired after 60 hours of no-sleep I will get back to you within the next day. Anyway, we’ve got a website to run here, and the show must go on, so... on with the article.

I’ve had a few articles on female psychology I’ve been meaning to get up. This is one of them.

One of the strangest things you will notice when men talk about women is that men fall into roughly four different camps on how they think of the opposite sex:

  1. The white knight camp: “Women are all saints and angels and must be protected from horrible men!”

  2. The doesn’t care camp: “I don’t really know what women’s deal is, but so long as I’ve got one to cook me dinner and give me a blow job I don’t worry about it.”

  3. The bitter guy camp: “Women are all evil, scheming, manipulative succubae whose sole purpose in life is to cause men misery!”

  4. The ladies man camp: “Women are cute, silly beings who can be fickle and changeable, but they’re a whole heck of a lot of fun.”

The first guy is living in La-La Land, of course. He’s the white knight who dreams of trading his valor and loyalty in for an often ill-defined sexual payday. And the second guy just doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to spend the brain cells trying to know.

But what can we say about the third and fourth guys? Guy #3 looks at Guy #4 and mistakes him for Guy #1. Or he thinks he must have it good with women and has never seen their true nature. Guy #4 looks at Guy #3 and says there’s a guy who just doesn’t know how to push the right buttons with girls.

But is one of these guys wrong? Both men are drawing from often extensive experience reinforcing their views. Guy #4 gets laid plenty, has wonderful girlfriends who devote themselves to him, and overall has a great time with girls. Guy #3 gets ignored by women, taken advantage of by them, and screwed over in his relationships.

So what gives? Is Guy #3 just a crummier judge of character than Guy #4 is? He’s choosing the wrong women? Or maybe he’s just worse at meeting girls and running relationships?

While those things are generally true (i.e., guys with negative thoughts about women tend to harbor these thoughts because they aren’t good at getting what they want with girls), there’s more to the puzzle.

The ‘more’ in question is this: a girl’s going to do what she has to do to get what she wants from you. The difference between Guy #3 and Guy #4 is that Guy #4 makes sure women do things he wants to get what they want from him. Guy #3 has no such standard.

The Four Flavors of Swag

swagger
A studly swagger is more than just a walk. It’s an entire way of being. And you’ve got choices. There are four (4) kinds of swag you can adopt: circumstantial, jerk, and more.

A man’s swagger is his foundation. It is the gait of his being and reflects everything about him – how he sees the world, himself, and the relationship between the two.

Even when you are standing still, the way you walk is clear. Because the way you walk isn’t always the way you move one leg in front of the other.

It’s about how you stop and turn, how you grab things, the way you move your hands when you speak. It’s the way you stand. It’s the way you speak.

And in this article, we will discuss how to make your movement swagalicious.

Why? Because women pay attention.

I remember once at a party, the girlfriend of my fraternity brother told me as I walked up to her:

“Hector, I knew that was you I saw earlier!”

“How’s that?” I replied.

“I saw you walking around the party earlier. The way you walk through a crowd is unmistakable.”

“Explain.”

“You...” she paused to think. “You look like you know what you’re doing. You’ve been here before and know how it all works.”

All I could do was smile. That was one of the greatest compliments I could be given.

Now, there are many flavors of swag. Let’s begin with the most basic.

Your Sexual Anxiety and Her Sexual Anxiety: How to Beat Both

sexual anxiety
You’re gonna need a better strategy than retreat & regroup.

Today we’ll discuss three (3) ways you can make sex more relaxing and pleasing for both you and the girl you’re with, and beat sexual anxiety in both of you.

When it’s your first time to have sex with a new girl, it can often feel a bit awkward. The lack of rapport can make the whole process stiffer (in a bad way).

This, in the long run, can lead to anxiety – she may close herself off sexually, or you might experience erectile dysfunction.

In this article, you’ll get some tools you can use to ease the process of moving toward sex... So you both feel more comfortable, and you’re able to take full pleasure without the binds of sexual anxiety.

The Two Sides

pua vs. manosphere
Why do some men cultivate themselves to get more dates, sex, and girlfriends, while others become culture warriors? It is the yin and yang of group morality.

I started off writing an article response to a commenter’s question about how to get inside women’s heads and understand what they’re thinking and why they think it. And I’ll still complete that article at some point and post it. But while I was writing it, I branched off into another direction – into this article.

One of the biggest divides you see among readers and commenters on Girls Chase are the guys who want to know how to change to get better results with girls, and the guys who want girls to change to be and do what they want.

Usually my advice is if you’re in that latter category, you’re going to spend a lot of time feeling angry and frustrated until you move into the former category. That doesn’t mean you become undiscriminating about the girls you go for; the more desirable a man you make yourself, the choosier about girlfriends you’re able to be and the more willing those girlfriends become to bend for you. However, it does mean if you choose this path that you seek to adjust yourself, rather than chide others to adjust.

But of course, chiding others to do and be what we wish is an age-old, widespread feature of human societies. It’s ubiquitous, and almost everyone does it.

And when you see a trend like that, that should tell you this kind of chiding and castigation serves some kind of function.

Today, I want to pick apart these two sides for you: what the difference is between those who look inward, and those who look outward.

And it won’t be as simple as the former are the enlightened and the latter are the fools.

How I Make New Friendships (6 Steps)

make new friendships
Lots of people struggle to make new friendships outside school or work (or even in these places). Yet, follow the 6 steps to new friends, and friends start to come easy.

Until I turned 19, I had no real friends. I had no idea how to make friends. I was disturbingly alone. It was painful.

Now I am 24 and can say that I am the leader and popular guy in every clique I am a part of.

What am I doing differently that changed things so much that now I write about the social arts for a site called GirlsChase? And how can you use my experience to make new friendships, enjoy an awesome social life... And, oh, by the way – get girls chasing you?

How to Pick Up Girls in Lounges

pick up girls in lounges
Once you know how to pick up girls in lounges, you’ll find they’re some of the best places for this. More quiet, fewer distractions, and more intimacy make things easier for you.

I discussed night game in general in my 2013 essay “How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs.” This time around, I’ll detail how to pick up girls in lounges.

What is a lounge?

A lounge is a dark nighttime venue that plays subdued, rhythmic music.

The music isn’t the type you’d go nuts dancing to, or sing along with. It exists to create a background, rather than be the main event itself.

I’ve always liked lounges because I’m not a dance floor guy. Dance clubs and dance bars feature dance as the main event here. People lose themselves in the music and merge into the tribe. A large part of success picking up girls in these venues comes down to how you position yourself in the social hierarchy. Are you a sexy jock? The consummate party guy? Nightclub promoter? What’s your rank within this tribe?

Lounges have a lot less of the tribal element. You can still find tribes within them – like groups of people there to listen to a certain DJ, for instance. But even these tribes tend to be open to outsiders, and take themselves less seriously.

A lounge makes it easier to talk and seduce your way into bed with her. There’re fewer distractions to pull her away from you, and her friends care less about whether you’re part of the tribe (and what rank). Girls cockblock least in lounges, and help you sleep with their friends most here. Lounges are the venues you’re most likely to start hitting it off with a girl, and then her friends just leave the two of you alone to do... Whatever you want to do.

Nonetheless, there are standard elements to lounge pick ups it helps to know. In this article, I’ll show you what those are and how to pull them off... So you can take things from conversation to copulation.

So, let’s talk about how to pick up a girl in a lounge.

How to Calibrate Your Openers to Her Situation

opener calibration
Do you ever struggle with how to open a girl in a strange or novel setting? The 2-part Opener Calibration model makes talking to new girls easy.

It has been said that a masterful seducer – a man who can flip a woman’s script – can walk into a room, any room, spot a girl and know exactly how he will go about seducing her. When I started tweaking my day game process back at the start of the year, this was a thought that stuck with me.

We already know about the flaws of the direct opener (courtesy my first article on Girls Chase, “Day Game Tips: Make Her Curious”), and that if we want to choose our women, making them curious first is the way to go. This is especially true in day game.

But perhaps you might be wondering “How, specifically, can I make her curious in certain situations?” or “What if I’m in a venue where it’s not really applicable?”

A commenter from “Make Her Curious” asked:

How about situations where situational openers are not ideal? Like, picture a girl reading a book or just walking on the street or at the bench. It would be weird to come up and just comment about something.

– Kalyann

This is a good question. In this article I will do my best to not only answer this question, but guide you deeper into the related principles. Namely, the principles of social calibration.

Why Do STEM-Educated Men Have a Harder Time Meeting Women?

STEM meet girls
Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?

STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.

Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?

The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.

The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.

Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.

Why I Quit Doing Friends with Benefits

quit fwb
Friends with benefits (FWB) is a fun, no-strings way to have sex. So why give it up? There are 6 good reasons to, including laziness, distraction, and getting stuck with the wrong girl.

A little while back, I wrote a couple of posts on friends with benefits (FWB):

I noted here that I don’t do friends with benefits anymore. Guys have asked why over the years and I’ve talked about it a bit, but haven’t really sat down to give it a full-on article on the subject.

This article will be similar in spirit to “Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink.” It’s about why I opted to quit doing something that sounds like a fun time (wild party girls; no-strings casual sex). And it’s about the pros and cons.

But let’s start with the basics. What’s not to love about friends with benefits?

Hung Up on Her Sexual History? 3 Steps to Not Be

sexual history
It’s easy for guys to get hung up on a girlfriend’s sexual history. Yet you can get over this if you choose to. To do it, you’ll use 3 steps.

Whenever we start dating someone new, we’re bound to soon discover a few facts about who they once dated and the amount and kind of sex they enjoyed, whether we like it or not. A new girlfriend will often tell us about her past, or we’ll end up asking about it. Either way, sometimes the truth can hurt. A lot.

Learning that a partner once enjoyed threesomes, had five sex buddies on the go at once, or has slept with fifty guys... this can be a hard pill to swallow. Some men are able to just forget about it. Some don’t care. Others slip into a whirlpool of self-torment characterized by OCD-like repetitive thoughts and emotions which they find extremely hard to shift.

You may have heard of this form of anxiety-ridden obsession referred to as “retroactive jealousy” or “retrospective jealousy”. In men this tends to be an anxiety about a girlfriend’s sexual past. In women it tends to be an anxiety over who their man was once in love with. There are genetic and biological reasons for this, but in this post I’ll be focusing on the former.

Now, not all men are willing to date (let alone marry) a girl who’s “been around the block”, and this is a perfectly reasonable position to take. But what if you’ve bagged yourself a great girl who’s wonderful in every respect, except you are bothered by her promiscuous past? Should you ditch her because she once used to enjoy hooking up with guys just for sex? Or, in later years, would you regret passing up on the possible love of your life all because of her past?

These are all points worth considering, because there’s nothing stopping you from moving on if you feel you can’t handle a girlfriend’s past or that you shouldn’t have to learn about it in the first place. Many guys hold this view, and some studies have shown that the more promiscuous a woman is or has been in the past, the more likely it is she’ll cheat when she settles down.

However, if you happen to think she’s a great girl in every respect but are obsessing about her “number”, then it might be worth trying to regain control of your thoughts and emotions regarding this.

If you want to start overcoming retroactive jealousy rather than be tormented by it, keep reading; in this post I’ll show you the tools necessary to learn how to get over your girlfriend’s past. The first step is to research and discover what causes a retroactive jealousy disorder in the first place.