Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle a Bad Night at the Bar

bad night at the bar
Have a bad night at the bar and you may want to give up and go home. But it’s not over just because you’re off to a bad start.

Every time you step outside your door, you enter a world filled with different, random, unknown others. Some of those others will be delighted to meet you. Some will be indifferent to you. Some will be rude, dismissive, or flat-out hostile. And on any given outing, the proportions of each of these groups you meet will be somewhat random.

There are a variety of ways you can increase the odds you meet folks delighted to encounter you, and minimize the odds you meet folks who want nothing to do with you. Some of those ways include:

Yet, you won’t always be able to implement all these items. Sometimes you may want to check out a new venue, or you reach a preferred venue on an off night and discover the crowd is different from usual. Suddenly, you’re not tailored to the girls present and the environment is not so low competition.

And regardless the steps you take, there is always that element of randomness in the people you meet. Sometimes you’ll go out and every girl you talk to wants nothing to do with you. Other times you’ll go out and the second or third (or even the first) girl you talk to is all over you and ends up going home with you.

Each time you’ll be inclined to think “it’s you.” When the girls reject you left and right: “I must be really off my game tonight,” or, “Did I dress in a weird way or something? Am I putting out a weird vibe?” And when girls are all over you: “Damn, I’m good!”

Yet much of the time it’s pure chance. It’s often dumb (bad) luck when you get that string of girls who reject you all in a row. And more dumb (this time, good) luck when one of the first girls you talk to is the one you take home.

Today, I’m going to give you some tools to employ when you hit bad luck any given night. This post assumes you go out and talk to various (i.e., more than two or three) people with an intent to find a girl to take a number from or to take home. If this is not your style, it still might be an interesting read; in that case, read it through, file it away, and pull it out should you ever find yourself emboldened to meet enough girls to find that one you click with and can take home.

Who Has It Harder in 21st Century Romance: Men or Women?

who has it harder dating
Whose dating life is harder, men’s or women’s? The answer is nuanced… because there are different groups within both sexes.

Several weeks back, I wrote “Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game.” This piece of writing was about how ‘game’ (conversational and logistical aptitude aimed at meeting, bedding, and dating women) is an organic outgrowth of complex, fast-paced urban societies.

The reason we fingered for the emergence of game was that urban societies present new opportunities for men (i.e., the ability to have sexual intercourse with lots of women), yet also new challenges (i.e., women are much more experienced with men, have many more options, and cut a lot less slack).

One of the things I mentioned in this article was that while men have it harder in urban environments, fear not – women have it harder too. Yet several commenters wanted to clarify: women may have it harder, but men have it far harder still.

Well, do men have it harder?

The answer is yes. And no.

I’m going to both agree and disagree with this “men have it harder” sentiment today. Don’t worry, if you’re currently feeling like it is far harder for you than it is for many women, I won’t be telling you you’re wrong. But I am going to show you why it is this way for you... but not for every guy in the city. Some guys have it the opposite way (i.e., it’s easier for them than it is for women).

We’re going to focus on three (3) elements of urban dating that make things harder or easier for various groups of men, as these men’s dating success compares with women’s. Those three elements are:

  1. That men and women want different things
  2. That men occupy the extremes
  3. And that what men go for in cities vs. what they go for elsewhere are different

In the end, I expect you will have a far more nuanced view of dating and mating in large urban environments, the plusses and minuses therein, and who you have to be to become one of the men who has it easier than girls do, instead of being stuck being one of the men who has it harder than girls do.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 2: Gay Bar Patrons

gay bar patrons
The list of gay bar patrons include a colorful cast of characters… and 3 varieties of eligible female.

Hey, and welcome to the second post in my series on gaming in the gay environment.

Previously we discussed the different types of gay venues, some of their basic dynamics, and how to handle them. Today we will discuss the different people who attend those venues. Most gay venues tend to be open to everyone, but there are certain types of people you will find here most often. Since these types of venues are niche, it is key to understand the crowd.

I will split this post into two sections, first discussing the girls (who are not gay), then explaining the regular visitors who are part of the LGBT crowd. Basically, in the first section I will cover the people who you’ll seduce, and the other section will be dedicated to the crowd you’ll have to deal with.

Before we begin... the disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell all of your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.

The God and the Goddess: A Theosophy of the Sexes

theosophy of sexes
Theosophy is the study of divine wisdom. And what can be more divine than the coupling of male with female?

Theology is the study of God or gods. The primary question in Theology is the nature of God.

Theosophy, on the other hand, is the study of divine wisdom and actions with the intent to reveal deep truths about ourselves, our divine nature, and our behavior. This is an article born of my fascination with the subject; it explores how our masculine divinity works in contrast and in cahoots with feminine divinity. I hope you enjoy the read, and I hope that perhaps these conceits might ring true and light a few bulbs in your mind that haven’t occurred to you before.

Sometimes all it takes is a good story to illustrate something poetically that is difficult to tackle logically. I will be speaking poetically a lot and will occasionally put my metaphors into the context of this website in order to keep it practical with respect to women, dating, sex, and relationships.

If you happen upon a few paradoxes as we go, that’s a good sign. That’s how these things work.

5 Effective Ways to Pick Up Girls with a Wingman

pick up girls with a wingman
Five (5) of the best ways to pick up girls with a wingman: the Two Buddies approach, the Leader-Follower approach, plus 3 more.

Six years ago I shared with you the 10 rules of great wingmanship. I covered some strategies for wingmanning there as well. But mostly stuck to dos and do nots.

However, we’ve talked about wingmanning a lot less than it deserves on Girls Chase. Going out with a wingman is fantastic for a lot of reasons:

  • It puts you in a more social mood
  • It gives you instant social proof to work with
  • A likeminded buddy will help make you more resilient
  • And a friend like this can lend you an assist (and vice versa)

One of the biggest reasons, too, is the ‘click’ advantage the two-man approach can give you. Because let’s face it, no matter how good you get, there will always be some girls you do not click with. When you’re with a wingman, you don’t have to click with every girl.

Meet a pair of girls with one girl who likes you but one who does not? It’s fine – the girl who doesn’t like you does like your friend. She’ll tolerate her friend going for you (unless she really dislikes you!), so long as your friend goes for her.

Meet a trio of girls, and one girl matches your energy, but the other two have a completely different energy? No problem – your wingman (or wingmen) matches the other girls’ energy, and gets along with them great.

Yet if you don’t use good wingman form, it’ll all be for naught. You’ll step on your buddy’s toes, he’ll step on yours, and you’ll make each other look bad instead of good. You’ll go for the wrong girls, or accidentally go for each other’s girls when you shouldn’t, or fail to support one another when support is needed.

To make sure you don’t fall prey to wingman miscues, you need strategy – you need a way you both agree on to team up to get girls. And to that end, I’ve put together five (5) of the most effective wingman strategies I’ve used or witnessed other wingman pairs use. These approaches are guaranteed to scoop girls off the pavement (or the barroom floor) and into your respective beds.

To kick off the article, we’ll start with the approach that is, to my mind, the classic wingman model: the Two Buddies approach.

How to Know When It's Over: When Things Get Stale

bored relationship
Over time, a once-great relationship may get, well… boring. If you’re in a stale relationship, does that mean it’s over?

Being in a long-term relationship is a pretty big accomplishment.

It’s something most guys strive to eventually find, and there are a lot of benefits that come along with it.

However, if you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, or you’re currently in one, then you know it requires a lot of work.

Because there are two people involved, there are a lot of moving parts. And as Chase already wrote, most long-term relationships tend to move through 4 different phases:

Beginning (blissful) ? Taming (fraught) ? Boredom (grinding) ? End (painful)

Today I want to write about the “boredom” phase – also known as the “stale” phase – and what you can do about it if you’re in the thick of it.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 1: Types of Venues

meet girls at gay bars
Part 1 of the “meeting girls in gay bars” series starts off with venue selection. Namely, the 4 best types of gay bars to meet women at.

Hey, guys. As promised, here is the first post of my series on how to game in gay venues. This will be an introductory post about the gay environment and the different venues out there. I will discuss how to pick the right venues and give some insights into the dynamics of each.

I will leave the in-depth discussion about all the dos and don’ts pertaining to seduction in these venues to future posts, because I believe an introduction to the gay environment is key. So I’ll start with that.

Also, before I begin, I have to share a disclaimer that I will include in every post in this series. You will quickly understand why I am doing this. Here is it:

Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell of all your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.

It is in your own best interest, too.

Anyway, without further ado, let us get right into it.

How to Get Past the Bouncer (and Get into the Club)

get past the bouncer
To get past the bouncer and make it into the nightclub, mind the 5 aspects of the GET IN club entry system: girls, expenses, trouble, + 2 more.

The worst club entry experience I’ve had was at a place in Las Vegas. I found myself stuck outside the venue, pushed to the side, while everyone else in line – who’d gotten there much later than I had – was allowed to march right in past me. I was dressed well (better than many of the people who got in) and looked good. But I’d made the fatal mistakes of getting there too early, and talking to a poorly dressed, low status guy in line... And the bouncer exiled me to the side of the queue as a result. After standing to the side watching other people march in for twenty minutes, I finally stooped to bribing the bouncer to get in – something I’d never done before and haven’t done since.

After this incident, back home in San Diego, I made getting into the clubs I wanted a priority. I picked up a VIP card that let me cut the lines at most of the venues in town. I rolled with people who knew people. And I went out of my way to befriend bouncers and club staff again, something I’d neglected since my early days in clubbing.

Before long, my outings often consisted of the opposite of that Las Vegas experience. Throngs of other club-goers would be stuck in a slow-moving queue as I marched past them, flashed my ID at the bouncer, and stepped right in. Some of those club-goers – girls especially seemed to hate watching me get in while they had to wait – would yell about fairness, or spoiled elites, or how assholes like me needed to wait in line like the rest of ‘em. And I’d just chuckle and bear these folks no ill will, because I’d been in their positions plenty of times before.

If you enjoy the nightlife regularly, in any major metropolis, entering the club will be a major concern of yours. So today, we’re going to cover all the various ways you can gain entry, or even skip the cover charge, and not have to worry about getting stuck outside.