Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Who Controls Your Woman, the Environment or You?

control your woman
Everything in a woman’s life wields some degree of control over her. The big question is, do you control your woman – or yield control to others?

College tells her feminism
Is what she must embrace.
Her boss says that it is “career”
What wins in the workplace.
Nightlife tells her status
While friends tell her “fun” too.
So who controls your woman
The environment, or you?

At some point, you will find yourself with a girl you like, and decide you want to hang onto her a while. You may not want to keep her forever. You might want a short relationship. Or perhaps you do want her forever.

The man sets the pace and trajectory of the relationship. The woman agrees with his direction and submits to it, or she will disagrees and rebels. If she rebels, she does so to force change to the pace and trajectory of the relationship, not to destroy the relationship or take control herself.

You won’t have women tell you, “We’re doing it my way now.” Well, not usually. Instead, she acts up, pressures you, whines, pouts, complains, and does everything she can to get you to change. She does not want to lead. She wants to influence the leader. Influencing, rather than directly leading, is how women control.

We talk about control in this article. Not control in the sense of unwilling control. Nothing here we’ll discuss will be anything against anyone’s will. The kind of control we will discuss here is leadership, influence, attraction, seduction, security, comfort, and power. It is about who wields the greater control over the mind of an individual. Will it be you, her partner? Or will it be the many other forces in the environment that wish her to do as they will – and not as you do?

"I Hate You" and Other Fiesty Behaviors

I hate you
When a woman tells you she hates you, it’s not a bad sign. And when you trigger behavior like this, you know you’re doing something right.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you so much.”

I first began to hear this frequently when I started to play around with non-monogamy back in the beginning of 2015. I had just ended my last (to date) monogamous relationship and entered into a FWB arrangement with a total nymphomaniac. Details aside, she loved my cock and was totally devoted to me for the next six months. However, once in a while, we’d be hanging out and she’d stare me down with dark eyes and a frowning face, and say “I hate you” to me. Multiple times. At the time, I was speechless, and my typical response was just “...okay,” and then we’d get back to what we were doing.

Fast forward to 2017 – I’ve been running non-monogamous relationships for two and a half years. Having acquired a ton of knowledge since then, I’m actually a bit surprised when I don’t hear this. Instead, I hear this or some form of it – either verbally or non verbally – with every single girl I’m seeing.

  • “I hate you,” said directly to my face, multiple times

  • Passive-aggressive style non-verbal behaviors – like a girl inviting me over to hang out but then giving me a silent treatment of sorts, being intentionally distant while I’m with her; this includes refusing to kiss or have sex (at first) but still hanging out

  • Neediness from women about wanting to know exactly where she stands, expressed directly or indirectly – a girl will openly seek information (through indirect frames) about how I feel about her and whether or not I’m seeing other girls (and how I feel about them)

  • A girl suddenly changing her behavior to be extra nice, sweet, and affectionate toward me – this includes randomly volunteering massages or taking me out to dinner to a swanky place on her tab

Quite frequently, these behaviors continue long after a girl introduces these behaviors – especially well after we’ve had the relationship talk and I have told her that I will not commit to an exclusive relationship.

In fact, one girlfriend tells me “I hate you” literally every thirty minutes, if not more often, every time I see her, and she also texts me this on Snapchat from time to time. Her voice is always stern, her face frowning, and she’s very in my face about it.

“I hate you so much.”

Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls

okay to flip-flop
Maybe you think you should never flip-flop. But flip-flopping has a time and place. Here’s how to use it well with women and on dates.

One of the major conversation topics we discuss on Girls Chase is frame control. If you’re unfamiliar with frame control, I have a trio of articles here that will serve as a decent introduction:

The essence of frame control is that you know what you stand for and you stick to your guns. If we can say this of a man, we can say he has a strong frame. Strong frames are attractive; they suck other people in and cause them to see the world as the frame-holder sees it.

Frame control is particularly important in dating. Women will test you and challenge you as they seek to find out what kind of man you really are. A great frame allows you to sidestep these tests, ace them, and beat them.

However, sometimes you may need to change your position. You may be better served by doing something else or adopting another stance that contradicts what you said or did earlier. Flexibility is vital to your dating success. If you’re too rigid about “I have to always be 100% consistent with what I said or did before”, you will pass up a lot of potential success with girls.

Today’s article takes a look at when it’s okay to contradict yourself or flip-flop with women – and how to deal with the tests that sometimes follow.

How Nightlife Has Changed, Part 1: 2009 to 2017

nightlife has changed
Nightlife is not the same as it used to be… the font of easy lays has dried up. But there’s a silver lining to this, and it’s not as bad as you think.

Alright guys, after going kind of overkill with my technical posts these last weeks, I have decided to make a theoretical post.

Even though I believe it is key to put a lot of emphasis on technical stuff, as it is most crucial when it comes down to getting direct results (i.e., getting laid), one should not disregard theory, which can give us deeper insights into our field of battle.

This post will be another of my sociological observations of the meat market. The purpose here is to give you an idea of the status quo regarding the dynamic in nightclubs. Things have indeed changed in the last 10 years. I started reading about seduction and joined the old mASF forums 10 years ago (which is where I first encountered our dear Chase). I was very young, so I did not go out clubbing right away. But two years later, I started clubbing, which gives me 8 years of clubbing experience – and I have gone out almost every weekend, with the intention of meeting women.

And I can tell you this: things have changed. This post will cover the changes of which I speak – and their causes. We will also discuss the pros and cons of the changes and see whether things have become more difficult. A new generation is taking over the night life, and they’re having an impact on the dynamic.

Either way, enough fluff – shall we begin?

If You Don't Want to Date Her, Does It Mean You're Insecure?

don't want to date her
If you’re not willing to date certain girls, does that mean you’re insecure? Well, perhaps… But only if “insecure” doesn’t mean what your accuser means it means.

There’s a common refrain you’ll hear from women. Not just women, but men sometimes too. The refrain goes like this:

You don’t want to date her because you’re insecure.

There are some women this is obviously pure self-serving commentary from. Morbidly obese women, for instance. If a morbidly obese woman tells you you’re insecure if you don’t want to date her, well, you know that’s a tub of baloney (and maybe a tub of lard, too).

This article isn’t about those women. Not the obviously undesirable girls who’d claim your rejection of them stems from insecurity.

Instead, this article is about the fuzzy cases: girls with high notch counts, girls who’ve dated far wealthier or handsomer men than you, girls who’ve dated criminals. Heck, girls who’ve dated men of ‘badder’ races than you are (a white guy if you’re Asian, or a black guy if you’re white, for instance), or girls who used to be guys (transsexuals), or girls who tell you they’ve been rape victims or abuse victims.

Are you, in fact, insecure if you don’t want to date one of these people?

Meet More Girls: 5 Keys to a Great First Approach

meet more girls
There’s a lot to remember about meeting new girls. So what are the most important parts? Remember these 5 keys and you’re off to the races.

I hear it from so many different directions, so much advice littering the internet from the great to the terrible. I myself struggled for years with a plethora of different advice, good and bad, going day after day with seemingly no progress in the way I was approaching girls.

I felt like I was going through a haze. I struggled to see my mistakes and understand my wrongs. Women seemingly ran from me every chance they got, especially when it came down to the simple task of approaching a girl successfully.

Then, as time went on, I got better. I started seeing certain things work and others fall flat. Girls started chasing me off the open, giggling and blushing even.

In this article, I want to clear up the one topic everyone is constantly asking about. How do I approach a girl, get her attention, and get her liking me off the bat?

I have personally approached tens of thousands of women over the years, and I hope to clear up this topic for everyone once and for all. I will start with three common misconceptions. Then we are going to cover the five most important elements to a great first approach.

Tactics Tuesdays: "What's the Matter, You Chicken?"

are you chicken
If she’s on the fence about complying with you, there’s an easy way to get her off that fence: ask her if she’s chicken.

Quick fun post on how to get girls to do stuff they resist doing.

You can read more on how to get girls to say yes (or what to do if they say no) in my compliance series:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others

Today though I just want to talk about one specific little technique. This is the technique of playfully accusing girls of being scared to do whatever it is you want them to do.

This is very simple to do. It’s lots of fun. And it’s wildly effective at turning non-compliant girls into compliant ones. Works on a whole huge spectrum of types of compliance she can resist you on, too.

How Slutty is She? 7 Ways to Gauge Her Sluttiness

how slutty is she
Girls won’t just out and tell you when they’re sluts. You need to do some digging. Yet different kinds of sluttiness shows up in different ways...

“I’m curious, how many guys have you slept with?”

“Well, when I went on vacation to Central America, I had a bit of fun.”

That explains why she’s on a date with me. She likes Latinos.

“What’s the number, then?” I look at her carefully but without looking overly interrogative.

“Umm, I’d say like 8? Maybe a few more.”

Maybe a few more.

A few minutes later, I tell her to come over to my house. She asks what we’re going to do.

“To watch a movie.”

My shit-eating grin gave me away.

“Ohhhh, nonono. A movie? Yeah, right.”

I laugh.

“It’s fine. If you don’t want to fuck, we don’t have to.” I respond calmly.

“Okay, I’ll come over, but we’re not fucking.”

When Your Relationship is Comfy but You Still aren't Happy

comfy relationship unhappy
You have a girlfriend, and she’s great. But she still is not enough. What do you when the relationship is comfortable but unsatisfactory?

Over the years, I’ve discussed with you the danger of ‘falling into relationships’. That is, you’re not ready for a relationship, you don’t want a relationship... yet you settle into one with her anyway.

It could be this girl you date is less than your ideal. Or it might’ve been you weren’t ready for something settled with anyone yet. You needed to explore more; to get laid more, date more, and build up that inner book of mate comparisons people use before they decide to satisfice with a mate.

If your mate is not quality at all, the matter is straightforward: just break up with her. Go be single again. Get your freedom back. And next time, make a wiser choice.

But what do you do if your mate is okay, the relationship is comfortable, and you aren’t sure how able you’ll be to find replacement mates once single... or even whether you’ll be able to find anyone as good as your current gal is?

Then you, my friend, are in a pickle.

The Mirror

mirror sexuality
With the Mirror Gambit, you hold a mirror up to a woman’s sexual side... and suck her into her sexual self.

Previously, we discussed how pacing can help you crack her shield and build rapport and connection while positioning yourself as an authority figure in her reality – a guy who truly understands what it’s like to be her. The idea with pacing a girl’s reality is that it becomes much easier to lead her in the direction you desire – to bed.

This is what one refers to as pacing and leading. We covered pacing in the previous post, so now you guys may be asking: how about leading? What does “leading” really mean in this context? Leading is basically anything that can lead her from point A (where she is currently) to Z (where you want her), physically or emotionally. In other words, leading can involve isolation, extraction, verbal escalation (sex talk), non-verbal escalation (eye contact, touching), etc.

Basically, once you have paced her, she will be softened up and open for you to take the lead – which is the second step.

Today I want to show you a way to use pacing and leading – with the most focus on pacing, because I find that to be the most interesting aspect here (there are many existing posts on “leading” material, and at the end of the day, physical escalation remains one of the most powerful “leading” tools in seduction).

So, like my previous posts, I will here share a gambit you can use in your seductions or as inspiration to create something of your own. It can, like always, help you see how you can construct some juicy material. As usual, this gambit will be filled with other goodies that will have an impact on the receiver – and of course we will break it all down.

This routine/gambit comes up in my Night Game podcast with Varoon Rajah when I share one of my adventures. So check that podcast out if you want to see this exact gambit being used (and how I followed up) and get some ideas of the context in which you can use it.