Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

The “I Have to Get Every Girl” Insecurity

get every girl
Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.

Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.

I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.

The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.

Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while this did not bother me now, four or five years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long while.

A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.

But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?

7 Quick Tips to Help You Learn Seduction Faster

learn seduction
Seduction is a terrific skill to learn, yet it takes time. Note-taking, watching the best, and turning your phone off are 3 of 7 big wins that speed up the process.

I take the seduction of women very seriously. It is my life, you can say.

Over the years, I have acquired many different strategies and techniques to improve and sharpen my skills.

This week I decided to delve into a few things I do to keep sharp and on top of my craft. As such, I’ve written about seven (7) quick techniques I use to make sure I am at the top of my field... And which will help you learn seduction fast.

Here they are.

How to “Bubble” with Girls and Bait the Hook

bubble with her
“Bubbling” is when you draw a girl into an intense, curious conversation. To build a bubble, you must “bait the hook” to suck her in.

I was chatting with a colleague not too long ago – a fellow day gamer. He wanted to know how I got instant dates pretty much whenever I asked. He was having to really persist most of the time to get a girl to follow him, and instant dates were not very common for the guy.

Most of the time when we approach a girl, we'll find that she might have several different scripts that may be counterproductive to getting into bed with her that day (see this article). Only going for the women who have the same script as us is quite inefficient in the long run. This was one the main things I kept in mind when I was revamping my process at the start of this year.

So, after trying out several things, I've settled on a method that works best. Up until quite recently, instant dates were not a regular thing for me either. I would basically have to look for girls who were already somewhat attracted, and it would take a fair number of approaches to get any kind of regularity.

These days I can get it done efficiently with much less walking around and approaching woman after woman.

And more often than not, I can choose my woman from afar and get her to follow me on an instant date without a lot of hassle.

Today, I'm going to share my best tips for achieving this.

Take Her Side in Interpersonal Conflicts

take her side
You’ve met a girl and it’s going great. But suddenly, she winds up in a conflict with somebody else. What do you do and how do you behave?

I apologize for the title. I couldn’t think of any way to word it that didn’t sound like some kind of feminist “men need to step up and be supporters of women” piece. It may start off sounding like it’s going to be one of those articles, but bear with me, because you’ll quickly see it isn’t. This is a tactical piece designed to help you put more girls in your bed.

So, what do you do when a girl you’re trying to pick up, date, or sleep with lands herself into an interpersonal conflict?

This is a simple post, but it has the potential to raise some hackles. It shouldn’t though. Let me address those hackles right off the bat:

  • We’re not talking about agreeing with her on political/etc. issues

  • We’re not talking about you pedestalizing her or thinking she’s always right

  • And I will not tell you to not disagree with her (disagreeing can actually boost attraction!)

Instead, what this article is about is the emotional element involved in any kind of interpersonal conflict between her and another group. This will be the case whether actual (there, in the moment; e.g., her versus some snippy chick) or related (a story she tells you about something that happened).

You need to take her side.

If you’re a guy who likes to stay balanced and not get involved in other people’s drama, you will tend to not do this, and instead be the ‘voice of reason’.

But the game of seduction is about you and her, united. If you try being the voice of reason while you’re also trying to get her in bed, most of the time you’re going to shoot your own darn foot off.

16 Ways Sales and Dating Overlap (and 11 Ways They Don’t)

sales and dating
Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.

In my article “The Beginning is the Hardest Part”, commenter Carver Montana requests an article on where sales and seduction overlap:

Hey Chase,

Thanks for another great article!

As I was reading the start of it, I got to thinking... I’ve seen you mention your experience in sales a number of times throughout your articles. From what I can gather, it was one of the things that helped you in various ways to ultimately become better with women.

Now, normally when you write about your sales experience, you seem to relate it pick up more or less indirectly. For example, you tell a story about how you went from being looked down upon by your co-workers to eventually gaining their respect, and then you relate that to an article about rising through the social ranks and so on. But I am curious as to why I’ve never seen you write about how sales pertain more directly to pick up.

I know a bit about sales myself (I’m an online marketer) and I know that there is a lot of overlap between the psychology of sales and that of pick up. No doubt you’re keenly aware of this. Hell, I even see you using common sales terminology, such as “closing” and “buying temperature.”

I feel like an article on the similarities between sales and pick up could be a good read. It would be nice to see on the site, if you think it would be appropriate ;)

Carver is right – I’ve referenced sales repeatedly throughout my writing. Some articles on here directly pull from my sales experience, such as my piece on Social Styles. Much of the terminology in the pickup / seduction world comes from sales terminology as well (though I should that terminology was already in place when I discovered pickup). And I do toss in sales anecdotes and sales analogies pretty often.

So, what exactly is the overlap between seduction and sales? Is there a perfect analogy between the two, or are there places the two don’t connect as well?

Let’s give you some tools to better compare the two. Along the way, if you’re familiar with sales you might find a few extra tools you can apply in your courtships that perhaps you haven’t applied already. And if you’re not familiar with sales, but you are familiar with seduction, you may just find sales less alien territory for you than you might think.

Is She Too Hot? Well, Looks are Subjective

looks are subjective
Before you think she’s too hot and out of your reach, consider this: “hot” for you isn’t necessarily “hot” for the next man. Beauty is subjective.

Today we will discuss briefly the latest theories on whether or not looks are subjective. We have so far discussed a lot about women’s looks and the difficulty of picking them up. The theories covered in those earlier posts concerning the correlation between looks and difficulty of pick-up are more or less based on the premise that looks are more or less objective.

We will challenge this notion a bit – and see how the subjective aspect of looks plays out on the level of difficulty:

  • Is our perception of someone else’s looks subjective?

  • If yes, will/can it affect the level of difficulty in picking her up?

  • Is there still some objectivity left in our perception of attractiveness?

These are questions I would like to discuss in this post. Now, before I move on, I just want to make it clear to the reader that I am not a natural scientist. There will be parts of this post that biologists and other natural scientists would be able to describe more scientifically. As I do not have a lot of knowledge concerning how our DNA affects how we perceive other people, I will avoid discussing it in the first place. In other words, I will leave out the “scientific aspect”, as I believe there are better online resources on biology outside of GirlsChase.com.

I will therefore focus more on my own experiences and observations over the course of nine years in the pick-up community. The article will focus more on the seduction aspect rather than the biological aspect. The end goal of this site is, after all, to make one a better seducer.

When a Girl is Thirsty for You, Here’s How to Skip Ahead with Her

girl is thirsty
When she’s thirsty for you, there’s just one way to mess up: not giving her what she wants. Yet guys make this error far too often. Why?

One of the habits I most disdain in my behavior is acting surprised when a very hot girl shows sudden and intense interest in me.

Some part of me still thinks, “Woah, she can’t like me this much already!”

But she very well can. And even if you’re new, there will be girls who like you immensely.

You’d be surprised how many of my lost lovers never got with me simply because I didn’t just recognize their interest and say “Yes.”

And the problem with not recognizing these signs of intense interest is that women will either think you’re an asshole for not reciprocating, dumb for not noticing, or insecure for not being certain.

When a woman shows an extreme sign of affection, it’s the female equivalent of a direct approach.

And it’s the closest she’ll ever get to telling you she wants to feel your cock inside of her.

What does this behavior look like?

Maybe after she sees you flirt with another girl, she literally approaches you, grabs you, talks over the other girl, and vies for your attention.

Perhaps after you say hello to her, she immediately compliments you.

You could say something that grabs her attention completely (one time, I told a girl she reminded me of Blair Waldorf from the show Gossip Girl, and she went from 0 to 100 instantly).

Or she could say something that, to you, makes her seem way thirstier than you originally thought she was.

And these are actually signs indicating you can skip steps in the seduction, whether they be banter, deep diving – or really just talking in general.

And yet, being the silly gooses we sometimes are as men, we misread her signals, and instead of taking a step forward, we stand still or go backwards.

To prevent you from making the same mistakes I have, here are the ways you should NOT react to a girl who really likes you.

What Gets More Girls: The Normal Guy Approach or Pickup?

normal guy approach
Pickup artists study how to get girls... But a lot of PUAs are kinda weird. Is it better to study dating, or to rely on “normal guy game”?

Prelude

This is an article I have been working on since I have started working for Girls Chase. It has been up in my head and I have struggled multiple times to explain this on paper.

Well, here is my first attempt, and my view on normal vs. pickup freak game.

This has been a concept many may find themselves shaking their heads at the pure absurdity of... That someone has broken down something this inconsequential to mere numbers on a graph.

But it is none the less something I thought would make for a good piece (if not perhaps an insufferable one for the wrong readers). So allow me to apologize in advance for my nerdiness.

Tactics Tuesdays: Time Management on Dates and in Pickups

time management on a date
You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

  1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
  2. The strategy around how best to use that time

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.