Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to “Bubble” with Girls and Bait the Hook

bubble with her
“Bubbling” is when you draw a girl into an intense, curious conversation. To build a bubble, you must “bait the hook” to suck her in.

I was chatting with a colleague not too long ago – a fellow day gamer. He wanted to know how I got instant dates pretty much whenever I asked. He was having to really persist most of the time to get a girl to follow him, and instant dates were not very common for the guy.

Most of the time when we approach a girl, we'll find that she might have several different scripts that may be counterproductive to getting into bed with her that day (see this article). Only going for the women who have the same script as us is quite inefficient in the long run. This was one the main things I kept in mind when I was revamping my process at the start of this year.

So, after trying out several things, I've settled on a method that works best. Up until quite recently, instant dates were not a regular thing for me either. I would basically have to look for girls who were already somewhat attracted, and it would take a fair number of approaches to get any kind of regularity.

These days I can get it done efficiently with much less walking around and approaching woman after woman.

And more often than not, I can choose my woman from afar and get her to follow me on an instant date without a lot of hassle.

Today, I'm going to share my best tips for achieving this.

Take Her Side in Interpersonal Conflicts

take her side
You’ve met a girl and it’s going great. But suddenly, she winds up in a conflict with somebody else. What do you do and how do you behave?

I apologize for the title. I couldn’t think of any way to word it that didn’t sound like some kind of feminist “men need to step up and be supporters of women” piece. It may start off sounding like it’s going to be one of those articles, but bear with me, because you’ll quickly see it isn’t. This is a tactical piece designed to help you put more girls in your bed.

So, what do you do when a girl you’re trying to pick up, date, or sleep with lands herself into an interpersonal conflict?

This is a simple post, but it has the potential to raise some hackles. It shouldn’t though. Let me address those hackles right off the bat:

  • We’re not talking about agreeing with her on political/etc. issues

  • We’re not talking about you pedestalizing her or thinking she’s always right

  • And I will not tell you to not disagree with her (disagreeing can actually boost attraction!)

Instead, what this article is about is the emotional element involved in any kind of interpersonal conflict between her and another group. This will be the case whether actual (there, in the moment; e.g., her versus some snippy chick) or related (a story she tells you about something that happened).

You need to take her side.

If you’re a guy who likes to stay balanced and not get involved in other people’s drama, you will tend to not do this, and instead be the ‘voice of reason’.

But the game of seduction is about you and her, united. If you try being the voice of reason while you’re also trying to get her in bed, most of the time you’re going to shoot your own darn foot off.

16 Ways Sales and Dating Overlap (and 11 Ways They Don’t)

sales and dating
Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.

In my article “The Beginning is the Hardest Part”, commenter Carver Montana requests an article on where sales and seduction overlap:

Hey Chase,

Thanks for another great article!

As I was reading the start of it, I got to thinking... I’ve seen you mention your experience in sales a number of times throughout your articles. From what I can gather, it was one of the things that helped you in various ways to ultimately become better with women.

Now, normally when you write about your sales experience, you seem to relate it pick up more or less indirectly. For example, you tell a story about how you went from being looked down upon by your co-workers to eventually gaining their respect, and then you relate that to an article about rising through the social ranks and so on. But I am curious as to why I’ve never seen you write about how sales pertain more directly to pick up.

I know a bit about sales myself (I’m an online marketer) and I know that there is a lot of overlap between the psychology of sales and that of pick up. No doubt you’re keenly aware of this. Hell, I even see you using common sales terminology, such as “closing” and “buying temperature.”

I feel like an article on the similarities between sales and pick up could be a good read. It would be nice to see on the site, if you think it would be appropriate ;)

Carver is right – I’ve referenced sales repeatedly throughout my writing. Some articles on here directly pull from my sales experience, such as my piece on Social Styles. Much of the terminology in the pickup / seduction world comes from sales terminology as well (though I should that terminology was already in place when I discovered pickup). And I do toss in sales anecdotes and sales analogies pretty often.

So, what exactly is the overlap between seduction and sales? Is there a perfect analogy between the two, or are there places the two don’t connect as well?

Let’s give you some tools to better compare the two. Along the way, if you’re familiar with sales you might find a few extra tools you can apply in your courtships that perhaps you haven’t applied already. And if you’re not familiar with sales, but you are familiar with seduction, you may just find sales less alien territory for you than you might think.

Is She Too Hot? Well, Looks are Subjective

looks are subjective
Before you think she’s too hot and out of your reach, consider this: “hot” for you isn’t necessarily “hot” for the next man. Beauty is subjective.

Today we will discuss briefly the latest theories on whether or not looks are subjective. We have so far discussed a lot about women’s looks and the difficulty of picking them up. The theories covered in those earlier posts concerning the correlation between looks and difficulty of pick-up are more or less based on the premise that looks are more or less objective.

We will challenge this notion a bit – and see how the subjective aspect of looks plays out on the level of difficulty:

  • Is our perception of someone else’s looks subjective?

  • If yes, will/can it affect the level of difficulty in picking her up?

  • Is there still some objectivity left in our perception of attractiveness?

These are questions I would like to discuss in this post. Now, before I move on, I just want to make it clear to the reader that I am not a natural scientist. There will be parts of this post that biologists and other natural scientists would be able to describe more scientifically. As I do not have a lot of knowledge concerning how our DNA affects how we perceive other people, I will avoid discussing it in the first place. In other words, I will leave out the “scientific aspect”, as I believe there are better online resources on biology outside of GirlsChase.com.

I will therefore focus more on my own experiences and observations over the course of nine years in the pick-up community. The article will focus more on the seduction aspect rather than the biological aspect. The end goal of this site is, after all, to make one a better seducer.

When a Girl is Thirsty for You, Here’s How to Skip Ahead with Her

girl is thirsty
When she’s thirsty for you, there’s just one way to mess up: not giving her what she wants. Yet guys make this error far too often. Why?

One of the habits I most disdain in my behavior is acting surprised when a very hot girl shows sudden and intense interest in me.

Some part of me still thinks, “Woah, she can’t like me this much already!”

But she very well can. And even if you’re new, there will be girls who like you immensely.

You’d be surprised how many of my lost lovers never got with me simply because I didn’t just recognize their interest and say “Yes.”

And the problem with not recognizing these signs of intense interest is that women will either think you’re an asshole for not reciprocating, dumb for not noticing, or insecure for not being certain.

When a woman shows an extreme sign of affection, it’s the female equivalent of a direct approach.

And it’s the closest she’ll ever get to telling you she wants to feel your cock inside of her.

What does this behavior look like?

Maybe after she sees you flirt with another girl, she literally approaches you, grabs you, talks over the other girl, and vies for your attention.

Perhaps after you say hello to her, she immediately compliments you.

You could say something that grabs her attention completely (one time, I told a girl she reminded me of Blair Waldorf from the show Gossip Girl, and she went from 0 to 100 instantly).

Or she could say something that, to you, makes her seem way thirstier than you originally thought she was.

And these are actually signs indicating you can skip steps in the seduction, whether they be banter, deep diving – or really just talking in general.

And yet, being the silly gooses we sometimes are as men, we misread her signals, and instead of taking a step forward, we stand still or go backwards.

To prevent you from making the same mistakes I have, here are the ways you should NOT react to a girl who really likes you.

What Gets More Girls: The Normal Guy Approach or Pickup?

normal guy approach
Pickup artists study how to get girls... But a lot of PUAs are kinda weird. Is it better to study dating, or to rely on “normal guy game”?

Prelude

This is an article I have been working on since I have started working for Girls Chase. It has been up in my head and I have struggled multiple times to explain this on paper.

Well, here is my first attempt, and my view on normal vs. pickup freak game.

This has been a concept many may find themselves shaking their heads at the pure absurdity of... That someone has broken down something this inconsequential to mere numbers on a graph.

But it is none the less something I thought would make for a good piece (if not perhaps an insufferable one for the wrong readers). So allow me to apologize in advance for my nerdiness.

Tactics Tuesdays: Time Management on Dates and in Pickups

time management on a date
You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

  1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
  2. The strategy around how best to use that time

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.

Is It Ever Okay to Date a Feminist?

date a feminist
Feminism has fast become a dominant ideology. When so many of the girls you meet have feminist leanings, should you ever actually date a feminist?

One of the more unusual phenomena we see in the West right now is that in many cases, men and women operate under divergent belief systems.

It’s quite odd, when you think about it. Most places, at most points in history, men and women operate under the same belief system, and agree on the same tenets. Usually that belief system is a religion, like Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Shinto.

But in the absence of religion, other causes come to fill this space by inspiring a new form of religious belief or fervor. Any time something has an -ism attached to its name, it stands a reasonable chance of coming to occupy religious-level importance to people.

One such example is feminism.

Feminism has reached a degree in the West where non-believers are immediately ‘othered’ by the more hardcore adherents of the philosophy. It has its own truths, like the wage-gap and ‘rape culture’, that are immune to facts and statistics and have moved beyond scientific falsifiability. And it engenders a particularly combative relationship between the sexes.

The purpose of this site is not to either support or combat feminism; feminism comes and goes through history, and is a perpetual feature of advanced, wealthy, safe societies. The purpose of this site is to give you useful tools to make better life decisions.

And the one we’ll talk about today is this: should you ever date a girl who subscribes to feminism... or any other -ism diametrically opposed to your own beliefs?

Having Sex is Supposed to be Easy

sex is easy
You’ve no doubt heard it before: “It’s instinct.” So why does it seem like it’s so hard to meet girls and have sex in the world of today?

Yesterday in “How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts””, I mentioned I intended to get an article up titled this. So here it is.

Sex isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to be easy. And it makes sense, right? The fact that you’re alive right now means every single one of your male ancestors stretching back a billion or so years got not just laid, but managed to knock up at least one chick once, and quite possibly knocked up one chick multiple times, or even multiple chicks multiple times.

It’s easy for men to stress out about sex. If you’re young and inexperienced, you might feel the fear grip you as you imagine becoming a 30-year-old male virgin, still sitting alone in his room playing video games and watching anime, lost in fantasies about fictional characters. If you’re a recent divorcé, you may look at all your nimble competitors in the fast-moving dating world of today and wonder if you’ll ever be as sharp as they are, and if any woman will want you again.

Why does sex seem so difficult to get for so many men? Is it a society-level problem, is it a problem of the women, is it a problem of competition, or is it a problem of men themselves?

I want to dig into that a little bit, and also give you a bit of different perspective you may not have considered before on how fear and instinct play into things here.

How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts”

girl off dating script
If a girl wants to hook up, and you do, that’s easy (well, easier). But what if she doesn’t want to hook up – how do you get her then?

I’m a fan of taking girls “off script.” It makes the courtship more personal and more rewarding for me.

If you want to know what this means, here’s all I mean by a script: every girl has a certain thing she’s on the lookout for at any given time.

For instance, her script may be:

  • I want to find a boyfriend
  • I want to find a husband
  • I want to find a guy to hook up with
  • I just want to make a new guy friend
  • I don’t want to meet anybody right now

Most of the time on Girls Chase, the other writers and I suggest you look for girls who are on the lookout for what you’re looking for. So if you want to hook up, you look for girls who are down for that. If you want a new girlfriend, you’ll have an easier time of it with a girl who’s gunning hard for a boyfriend, much of the time.

This makes life easier, and it’s a surer path to you and the girl you want together in bed or in a relationship.

However, it’s also possible to take a girl off her script and provide her with a different kind of experience. If you don’t enjoy the process of seduction and you just want a girl who wants what you want as fast as possible with as little work as possible, this article won’t be of interest to you (and you’ll want to focus on looking for girls who are looking for you).

If you’re a beginner, I recommend you get good at teasing out signs of interest and approach invitations from girls, and not worry about trying to get girls who aren’t that interested in you until you’ve got more experience (and lays and girlfriends) under your belt.

Yet if the idea of taking a girl who wants a boyfriend and hooking up with her fast, or taking a girl who just wants to hook up or doesn’t want to meet anybody and pulling her into a passionate new relationship with you intrigues you at all, then read on.