Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tell Her You Can Last All Night: The APE Sex Talk Gambit

Alek Rolstad's picture
sex talk gambit: premature ejaculationCan you turn girls on and communicate you don’t cum early – without sounding like you’re bragging? With this unique sex talk gambit, you absolutely can.

Hey guys and welcome back.

After discussions with forum members on the chat, I’ve been asked to share one of my gambits.

If you did not know, we have a forum with many experienced players (including those at our writer level) to discuss and ask questions for free. The forum has a great culture and has one of the best newbie/veteran ratios online. In addition, we have a live chat!

A recent chat discussed premature ejaculation and how to avoid it. Some asked how I deal with this. I mentioned a technique conveying sexual experience while being a good lover. Most women do not want a man who ejaculates quickly, as they usually take longer to orgasm than men.

This gambit is from a long-ago post of mine about tackling premature ejaculation. The trick works well and has assisted me greatly over the years, although I do not have this problem.

The idea is to tell her you can last a long time without appearing that you are bragging. Not cumming fast is a bit like saying you have a big dick, if you see what I mean. (On that note, a normal-sized penis is ideal.)

How do you do this? You convey to women that you are not a quick cummer (without explicitly saying it) and are a guy who lasts for a while in bed. You offer an explanation that “makes sense” for why that is. More importantly, the reason for you lasting so long is not because you are a sexy Superman (which would be bragging), but it’s because you know a simple trick to make sex last longer. I go through this trick here: How to Stop Premature Ejaculation – Proven Tips from a Pickup Artist.

I want to be clear that lasting all night is not necessarily ideal. It is easy to believe that because we, as men, know that premature ejaculation is unsexy, we quickly assume that the opposite must be sexy. Well, it is, but it can go too far. If you never ejaculate, she may become self-conscious: “Why is he not ejaculating?” “Is there something wrong with me?” Her worries arise because most guys tend to ejaculate rather quickly during intercourse, and many do it faster than she hoped.

I will briefly recap the anti-premature ejaculation (APE) trick and then show you can convert this knowledge into a sex talk gambit.

How to Stop Attracting Fat Girls

Chase Amante's picture
stop attracting fat girlsSome guys are complete “fat girl magnets.” If you’re always attracting fat girls though, how do you stop? The solution is part mentality and part behavior.

Are you someone who always has fat girls throwing themselves at him?

It’s a pretty dangerous position to be in, honestly. All it takes is one fat chick throwing herself at you the wrong way for you to end up CRUSHED.

Jokes aside, attracting fat girls is something that happens to some guys, but not ALL guys.

We just had a conversation about it over on the forum. Among comments from some of our members:

fat chicks react very strongly and aggressively asking for number's, staring etc. Does it mean I have low sexual value? [A]m i [a] weirdo?

Same thing happens with me ..

I am an expert in this subject. … Update from last night: another potential pitfall is a broken bed frame.

Obviously, if you love those rolls of fat, you’ll have no need or desire to stop attracting fat girls.

But if it’s a problem for you, let me tell you right now: it’s totally doable to stop the big girls wanting you.

So, while we usually discuss creating attraction on this site, today let’s take a detour – and talk about breaking it.

Tactics Tuesdays: Party Pooper Girl Inoculation

Chase Amante's picture
party pooper girl inoculationParty pooper girls can ruin your seductions – not to mention your good mood. Yet with the right inoculation, you can protect your interactions and image.

Sometimes you’re going to find yourself talking to one or more girls who are just total party poopers.

They’re low energy, in bad moods, don’t respond to your humor, or otherwise act all prickly.

Now, what you don’t want to do is get caught up in these girls’ bad moods. But you also don’t want to get caught trying to change their moods for them either. That’s not your job, nor is it a good use of your time and energy.

So what do you do with these party pooper girls? If you already approached them, only to discover too late that they’re a total drag, you need some way to either get things going with their rest of their group, or else get out of there without it feeling like you got the wind sucked out of you.

The solution is party pooper girl inoculation – measures you take to firmly have a handle on the frame in the face of girls who are no fun.

Cyber Week Promo: 64% Off "Approaching Girls" Package

Chase Amante's picture
cyber week promo 2023Save $264 off this package of three (3) great Girls Chase programs: How to Make Girls Chase, Meet Girls Everywhere, and the Touch-A-Girl System.

It’s Cyber Week 2023, which means an awesome CYBER DEAL from Girls Chase.

I’ve assembled our three (3) best “approach the girl” trainings into one SINGLE package of approaching awesomeness… the “Meeting Girls Trifecta.”

"Self-Control Is Sexy": A Sex Talk Gambit (Turn Her On!)

Alek Rolstad's picture
sex talk gambit: self-controlThis simple conversation gambit gets you turning women on via an unusual conversational route: self-control. Because self-control is sexy… as she’ll agree!

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing great.

I want to share a sex talk gambit that is very efficient and easy to pull off. What can this gambit do for you?

  • Communicate sexual, social, and female understanding (pacing effect)

  • Build sexual comfort

It does all this while setting a sexual frame, which we know is crucial. When the interaction is sexual, whether the sexual frame is explicit or light, future sexualization is smoother because the interaction already has a sexual undertone. So, talking about sex as you move forward will be easier, forging a path for bolder and more explicit gambits.

This self-control sex gambit is light and does not contain much explicit content, but feel free to create a more explicit version if you want. Because this gambit is less explicit, it’s less prone to resistance, less risky, and easier to introduce.

However, a light gambit does NOT mean it is weak. It is powerful even if the level of explicit content is low because it still sets a sexual frame and conveys attractive attributes. And this can get a girl interested and attracted.

Sometimes, light gambits are all you need to hook her, get her immersed and curious about you, and even be willing to go home with you. Sure, it rarely is enough to escalate all the way, but it can set a clear path for easy physical escalation.

Light sexual gambit are helpful in your early game as a hook gambit; see Using Sex Talk to Hook Girls Early in a Conversation.

So, let’s get into the gaming, but first, I’ll share some background so you understand the theory behind this gambit.

Remember, you can find a compilation of all my gambits here: STICKIED: Sex Talk Gambits Compilation (And more).

What to Say When Family Asks About Your Love Life at Thanksgiving

Chase Amante's picture
answering family love life-related questions at thanksgivingFamilies can get very nosy about your love life at Thanksgiving. What do you say to these probing questions? How do you avoid rocking the holiday boat?

Figured I’d do a quick little timely piece for the holidays here.

Every year (if you’re American) family gets together and you get the most prying personal questions about your love life during Thanksgiving.

I’ve seen various people give advice on how to reply to inquisitive family members. Most of what I’ve seen comes across prickly or hostile. I don’t know why so many people recommend prickly responses to inquisitive family members… poor relationships with family? Extremely nosy family members who don’t take a gentle ‘no’ for an answer?

Anyway, this site is about socializing EFFECTIVELY, and an effective socializer makes use of grace and charm to achieve his social ends, not prickly hostility.

Thus, we are going to have a look at how to deal, in adroit and charming ways, with those inquisitive family members who dare pry into the dusty secrets of your covert love life.

If You're Worried What an FWB Is Doing, Why Is That?

Chase Amante's picture
jealous fwbWhy do people get jealous about FWBs? It’s only casual, right? So… why get jealous feelings? There are two reasons why this happens: abundance and control.

A little while ago, I came across a forum thread where the poster discussed pangs of jealousy about what his promiscuous friend-with-benefits was up to in the two months he’s been out-of-town. He says:

I met a hot girl while traveling abroad a couple of months ago. We slept together 15-20 times. All the signs tell me she's the promiscuous type. We've kept in daily contact since I returned home 8 weeks ago and I'm due to travel to where she lives again in two weeks. I've had STD tests done and nothing showed up gladly, but that negative test says nothing about how promiscuous she is or isn't.

Anyway, given that this isn't even an official relationship, why do I keep having jealous pangs and urges to know what she's getting up to? She says she's waiting for me but I'm not naive enough to believe that a promiscuous person by nature would go two months without sex. So given the obvious fact she's slept with at least one person over the last few weeks (perhaps a local FB in her location), what's up with my weird obsessiveness over what she's doing?

I suspect this stems from my lack of an abundance mindset. In in my early 30s but I don't have a high body count at all. I've spent 12 years of my adult life in long-term relationships. I thought though by this point in life you learn not to give so much of a **** about these things. I guess I'm posting for advice on just letting go and not really caring what women I have casual flings with are getting up to, no matter how much I like them. It doesn't even feel fair of me to get jealous over what she's up to seeing as I didn't ask her to be in a relationship.

The forum poster got a number of replies, essentially boiling down to either “just stop caring” or “sounds like you’re not cut out for this type of relationship.” At one point he even stated that “I don’t know why I act like this.”

But all along a part of the explanation for his behavior was right there in his original post:

I suspect this stems from my lack of an abundance mindset. In in my early 30s but I don't have a high body count at all. I've spent 12 years of my adult life in long-term relationships. I thought though by this point in life you learn not to give so much of a **** about these things.

He’s probably right about why he’s feeling insecure about this girl – although there’s another possible explanation too.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Give Her What She Wants

Chase Amante's picture
don't give her what she wantsGirls ask for things they think they want from you. If you give them these though the attraction dies out. Why? Because what girls want ≠ what they need!

The title for this one is a bit deceptive. Because you ARE going to give her what she actually wants… but you aren’t going to give her what she says she wants.

As you’re talking with women, they will frequently ask you for things or fish for things from you, like:

  • Compliments
  • Reassurance
  • Qualification
  • Free drinks
  • Free food
  • Other compliance

If you give a girl exactly what she asks for when she asks for it, which is what a lot of guys will do, because they feel like they have to, or see no way to decline without looking rude or insensitive, she loses attraction for you. You are not the sexy bad boy rebel she cannot tame. You are, rather, just another guy who will do exactly what she asks of him.

The challenge of course is that you can’t do absolutely nothing, either. She’s asked you for something… you have to reply in some way. You can’t just withdraw into your turtle shell to hide.

What we’re going to do with this Tactics Tuesdays piece is to look at how to give her not what she wants, but what she needs to move things forward instead.

Using Sex Talk in Seduction's Late Game

Alek Rolstad's picture
sex talk late gameThe ideal time for sex talk is mid-seduction. But some girls resist sex talk – or things may move faster with them than you expect. How do you use it late?

Hi, I hope you are all doing well. Last week, we discussed how to use sex talk during mid-game, when sex talk is most suitable. You have enough rapport and attraction to transition into sex talk easily, and you will not have been in an interaction so long as to set and reinforce a strong sexual frame. As we discussed last week, not escalating the vibe and waiting too long before setting a sexual frame will result in an asexual frame, and if that frame persists, you will reinforce that frame. This makes future escalation attempts difficult and prone to resistance.

You can also set a sexual frame through sex talk during early game and before the hook, but that poses some challenges. It can cause resistance because you are a stranger. We discussed the benefits and how to use sex talk in early game a couple of weeks ago, so make sure you check that post for more details.

The ideal time for sex talk is in mid-game. This phase hits the perfect balance between not too early and not too late. We covered why that works last week. If you are at an intermediate level or new to sex talk and want to use a cookie-cutter method (in my opinion, it’s the easiest and safest way to use sex talk), read last week’s post.

Today, we will discuss how to use sex talk during late game. I will discuss the pros and cons, cover when to start it, and provide some pointers on how to use sex talk effectively and hurdles to watch for.

What Motivates a Man: Pleasure or Victory?

Chase Amante's picture
what motivates a man: pleasure or victory?Some men long for pleasure. Others crave victory. Knowing which motivates you more will help you decide where how to lead the most rewarding dating life.

We’ve been talking about who cold approach pickup is for recently. There’s always a contingent of men who really loves cold approach and considers it the best. But there is also always a contingent of men who rejects it, finding it too difficult, inefficient, frustrating, humiliating, and so on.

Cold approach still works – it’ll always work; it works in every society imaginable – but it has always been hard to learn, and that it’ll also always be. Approaching people you don’t know, charming their socks off, and attracting them so much as to make them want to do things you want them to do is never going to be a simple skill to learn.

I see a chance to allay some cognitive dissonance for some readers here though about another dimension of who cold approach is for versus who it is not… while at the same time discussing male motivation, another topic of perennial interest here.

Namely, we are going to talk about the two (2) types of men there are, when it comes to motivation, so that you can better understand what YOU are really in it for – and where you’d do best to concentrate your romantic efforts.