Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Should You Be Lovers… or Friends?


friends or loversWhile growing up, women always meant one thing to me: girlfriend material. Women were always potential lovers; never once did it slip into my mind that I could be friends with them.

It wasn’t until I started racking up lovers that I felt the need to slot women into particular roles in my life. I couldn’t (and didn’t) want to sleep with every woman that came into my life, because some women ended up becoming a bigger headache than they were worth as lovers.

However, I began to realize the importance and utility that a mutual friendship could produce. High status women are excellent for social fulfillment, preselection, and they can help you get a closer look at how women act on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, I ran into quite the conundrum. I would harmlessly flirt with women, only to find myself sleeping with them and having our friendships break down. Women would seek sex from me, and I would give it to them, thinking we could still be friends afterwards.

After all, it was just sex.

As I quickly began to realize, I was ruining potential friendships and potential lovers by flipping in between definite roles. The relationships were in some weird middle of the road status, and things would become awkward in a hurry when neither of us knew how to proceed.

What was the underlying problem for me?

I wasn’t defining our relationships roles from the outset. The perpetual chaos that ensues in this situation works against producing stable relationships and causes them to break down. I lost plenty of women because of my indecisiveness, and you could too if you don’t know where each woman belongs in your life.

Coming Out on Top: Power Struggles in Your Relationships


In the piece on Dale Carnegie’s advice, a commenter asked about dealing with power struggles:

Hey Chase this is a great article. Could you do an article about how to handle power struggles in friendships? I find it really has to do with investment. For example, my friend wants me to meet him somewhere, but I want him to meet me. Its like five minutes away, but its a power struggle thing. I get really annoyed when people do this because I’d like to have friends who don’t try to make things a competition like this. But I also have learned from this site that everyone is like this. Can you help me out?

In the end, power struggles are always about the same thing, whether they’re in your romantic or sexual relationships, or your platonic ones – and I’ll cover all of these and everything else in the scope of this article.

power struggles

There’s little more frustrating than having to deal with the relationship equivalent of guerilla warfare, but this is exactly what power struggles are – someone using frame control attempts, passive aggression, moral superiority and other forms of social subterfuge to undermine your position and climb the social ladder to a position above you in the hierarchy.

Not fun at all... and frequently quite draining.

So let’s talk about how power struggles come about, and what you can do once you realize you’re in one.

How to Know When Women Like You


women like youYou meet a really cute girl at an event or out on the street. You know right off the bat that she’s the kind of girl who gives you butterflies in your stomach. She smiles at you. You exchange pleasantries. You vaguely reference how the two of you should get together sometime. She giggles and agrees. She gives you her number and says to contact her sometime. The two of you part ways.

You walk away with a foolish grin on your face. You feel great about the interaction. Then suddenly… the feeling starts to wear away. Doubt starts to creep into your mind.

“Wait… did she actually like me or was she just being nice. Does she know that I want to go out with her or does she just expect to meet up to talk about business stuff?”

And then you let those doubts seep into the next interaction you have with her. Maybe you come off a bit too needy when you text her. Maybe you’re too friendly and not sexy enough the next time you see her in person.

And you lose a girl who you could’ve had a great connection with… just because you didn’t know that the girl liked you. You couldn’t be sure of your ability to read the signs and you couldn’t be certain that the girl was attracted.

Has this ever happened to you before? I bet it has.

Sometimes, even when you’re pretty sure that a girl likes you, the lack of certainty can actually prevent you from making something happen. And then you end up frustrated or regretful. Maybe months or years later the girl even tells you that she liked you and was waiting for you to make the right move.

Well, I’m going to show you how to put yourself in the position to make the right move. I’m going to show you all of the things to look for so that you’ll never have to wonder whether or not she actually likes you again.

What Should Your Standards Be When Picking Up Women?


A note about this article: Many have requested me to write more about sexual prizing (how to use it practically in the field), and I will of course write about that. However, believe it or not, it is a rather complex topic, which means that I need to cover certain basics to form the ground work for a good delivery of “sexual prizing” as a technique. This post is one of those. So do hold on, it will all come with time; I just don’t want to rush into it. Instead, I prefer taking it slow and making sure to cover the necessary basics before delivering the goods. In the long run I believe this will be best for the readers.


Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing great and progressing and enjoying your journey within the art of seduction.

I am first of all truly sorry for being a little inactive these days, as April and May are when I am the busiest during the year. Things should get back to normal after June, when you can expect more participation and articles from me.

Either way, today we will address a topic that is not rocket science to most of us. So to those rocket scientists here, I may be about to disappoint you. However, I believe you will still enjoy this post regardless of it not having any super complicated parts to assemble, because it covers some very important basics.

And basics are important in order to create a good foundation for the more advanced and tricky stuff. The topic of the day will be standards – in other words, your requirements for you to be willing to sleep with a girl.

sexual standards

I will first of all cover what I mean by having standards, then I will further discuss why having standards is good, and finally cover how having standards can effect your outer game and make you appear even more attractive.

It should be pointed out that most of the great seducers out there have standards. Usually, but not always, the better they are (and the greater their options with women), the more standards of some sort they have.

So let us now discuss this topic in depth.

How to Give a Girl (Amazing) Oral Sex: 4 Simple Steps


how to give a girl oral sexA reader asks:

Hey Chase, any quick tips on performing oral sex on girls and stimulating the clit specifically? I checked out the other articles but I couldn't get anything specific on the subject.

We seem to get asked this one a lot... and always on articles that have nothing to do with sex. So let's address it: how to give a girl oral sex.

This is one a lot of men seem to struggle with, but you may be relieved to know it's actually much simpler to learn how to give a girl orgasms through oral sex than it is to learn how to give her orgasms via penetration.

There's no rhythm you must learn to be good.

You needn't exhaust yourself heaving your body back and forth.

You won't even have to learn about the g-spot, the deep spot, the vaginal back wall, or Ricardus's “r-spot” from his article on how to be a good lover.

In fact, all you need to make a girl orgasm from oral is a little patience... and a willing tongue.

And, of course, my 4 simple steps.

WARNING: this one is not safe for work... there is one section below where words do not suffice, and graphics simply are needed. So make sure there's nobody around you can get in trouble with for looking at clitoris pictures before you proceed (and if there is... what are you doing reading an article about oral sex at work, anyway).

Why You Want to be Her Guilty Pleasure


I was recently browsing around the Internet reading articles women wrote advising other women on dating. Many of them had subjects along these lines:

  • “We need to stop going for assholes”
  • “It’s time for us to start dating better men”
  • “When you meet a man who’s a dick, just PASS!”

Of course, the subtext there is all the same: we have to keep lecturing ourselves to stay away from these guys because we just CAN’T stay away from these guys... we can’t help ourselves!

Women are addicted to men who are “all wrong for them.”

guilty pleasure

Once their late twenties or early thirties or so, most women shift into talk about how they were foolish in their youths for passing up good guys or going after bad boys, but how they’re all over that now and that’s in the past.

Essentially, they reach an age where they stop treating nice guys like dish rags and instead start considering them for something more committed and long-term...

... yet, when they meet the sexy bad boy, they still make “bad decisions” with him anyway, even though they’re supposedly “reformed” and “past all that.”

The easiest way to think about all this to keep yourself from going crazy is this: if you really want to do well with a woman, be her guilty pleasure.

On Having Wild Sex with Pretty Girls


Sex is a fantastic thing – for both men and women. But unfortunately, many women find themselves dissatisfied with their sex lives for one reason or another. Sometimes they settle for a guy who doesn’t have very much value. Sometimes they can’t find a guy at all.

And sometimes…the sex is just too vanilla. The girl walks away lamenting the fact that the guy was unable to truly take control of the situation and give her an unforgettable experience.

And if there’s one secret I can share with you, it’s this: girls are always looking for that guy who will give them an unforgettable experience.

wild sex

So how do you put yourself in the position to have wild sex with pretty girls? And what do you do once you get there? That’s what we’ll be covering today.

Women Love Sexist Men


women love sexistsOne of the things you realize when you first start flirting with women more and more is that many of these things you’d previously assumed were bad to say because women would find them ‘offensive’ actually turn out to win you points with girls.

You tease a woman about how all women care about is gossiping and backstabbing, and she laughs and punches you in the shoulder.

You have a girl who’s on the fence about going along or not with something you’ve invited her to, and you bullishly insist, like the asshole bad boy you are (or are trying to be), and she relents and goes along with it... and immediately, you notice a big spike in her attraction to you.

She asks you if you believe in equality in relationships, and becomes submissive and affectionate after you tell her you find it impossible to buy into that nonsense, because the fact is that men are men and women are women and relationships work better when each accepts their roles and lives up to them.

All these things are things that shouldn’t happen, you’d think, if you’ve spent much time consuming the media on TV or the Internet or you’ve spent a lot of time listening to what women say they want.

Yet, they happen anyway.

Hired Gun Game: 5 Girls on the Job & How to Approach Them


A good buddy of mine who I’ve recently taken under my wing has gotten into the swing of approaching women. Last week, he found himself going shopping for some sexy, stylish clothing, when he realized that the woman behind the counter was drop-dead gorgeous. Like most men, he smiled, took his purchase, and left.

hired gun

Afterwards, he had one big question to ask me:

“How do I talk to her when she’s busy at work?”

This is a question that pops up quite frequently over at the Girls Chase forums as well. Most men take these women and assume that they are hands-off to being picked up. A woman at work simply isn’t a sex option in their minds, because they believe that she is too busy with another task. After all – she is working.

How to Be Social at a Party: 6 Secrets of Sociable Men


I’ve noticed as I’ve reviewed our discussion boards that lots of our posters are much more comfortable with meeting girls during the daytime, and find bars, nightclubs, and parties somewhat alien environments (although to be fair, there are also plenty of guys who are far more nighttime-oriented there as well).

When I stopped and thought about this, one of the things I realized was that when I first started hitting nightclubs, they were a pretty intimidating environment to experience:

  • The loud, pounding, deafening music
  • The big, imposing bouncers and other club patrons
  • The flashy, intimidating-looking women
  • The specter of approaching a girl only to meet her boyfriend’s fist
  • The feeling that everyone else there belonged a lot more than you did
  • The self-consciousness of knowing all these party people would see you get rejected if things didn’t go perfectly with a girl you went up to

how to be social

Especially when you’re rolling solo, like I was most of the time early on, you feel like you stick out like a sore thumb, and make for an easy target for anyone looking for a fight and look like someone to be avoided for anyone trying to have a good time.

Everyone there who’s having fun – the people you want to be around... well, they don’t need you. You don’t even know how to break into the same category as them.

So this article’s going to serve as companion piece to my article on picking up girls in bars and clubs and your primer on how to be social: the 6 secrets every social man figures out sooner or later about how to work a venue, how to get comfortable in an intimidating environment like this, and how to set yourself up for more social (and sexual) success than you can shake a billy club at.