Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

10 Breakthrough Lessons from 10 Years Picking Up Girls

lessons from picking up girls
Non-linearity, study vs. practice, ethics, and fun... these are just 4 of 10 transformative lessons from a decade of picking up girls.

This weekend is special to me – very special to me. It was in October 2007 that I, after unfortunately catching a serious kidney infection, had a whole new world open up to me that would change my life forever.

I was 14 back then, a normal teenager who was a nobody in school. Life was not that fun; it was not special. Just an ordinary life for a teenager. There was some trauma when I was being bullied at 13, but that changed after I moved. Nevertheless, up till then, I never felt like the guy I desired to be. I saw all these popular kids having it all easy, whereas I was just a nobody.

It was in that autumn of 2007 when I caught a throat infection that spread to my kidney. I was away from school for a while. I was bored to death, could not really go out, and was even hospitalized. A good friend of mine bought me a book one day, as reading was more or less the only thing I could do at the time – I felt too weak to get up and play computer games. Back then, I considered reading to be something old people did, but this book surely caught my attention.

It was the infamous book The Game by Neil Strauss. This was just prior to the pickup artist boom, when pickup and seduction became mainstream and there was still an active ongoing community that was pretty closed off to the public. Many of these places were open to the public, sure – if you happened to discover them – but you had to play by the rules. You had to follow their strict philosophy, and there was no room for keyboard jockeying (writing about stuff you had no experience with) or whining (“I cannot get laid because of X reason”) or supplication toward a particular woman (“There is this special girl I met…”). That last one was called oneitis, to which the prescription was GFTOW, which stood for “Go find ten other women.”

I personally got pretty seduced by all this. My motivation seemed congruent with the overall philosophy of that community – to learn the techniques and master an understanding of social interaction that was almost mathematical. It was all about technicalities, sometimes down to the sickest details. And guess what? I loved it back then, and I love it even more now, because after these 10 years, it has become clear to me that those who are technical about this whole seduction thing BECOME MACHINES, or rather, weapons of mass seduction.

Want to Make Progress in the Game? Do Your Homework

do your homework
Some men practice game for years and don’t improve. When you zoom in on why, it’s almost always because they don’t do their homework.

Here’s the truth. To improve your skills with getting women, you can go all out. You can “burn a bar to the ground” night after night, approaching every girl from 4 to 10 on the scale, but if you have no direction, you will inevitably end up spinning your wheels.

And I’m surprised that I so rarely see anyone take the time to sit down and really look at things with a logical eye. Well, in this article, I am going to reveal how I myself have reached an elite level by doing what every young kid hates – homework.

I have friends who have not seen much progress despite their interest and having shared my journey from my beginning to where I am now. They still do the same openers, the same half-assed, timid approaches. Yet they keep asking me what’s wrong with them and why nothing is changing.

Their issue isn’t simply that they haven’t learned from their failures, it’s that they don’t recognize their failures. Sometimes, it’s nearly impossible to identify what is causing our own failures. It’s the same for us all; everyone has essential things they don’t know they don’t know. It can be difficult to connect a reaction or rejection with something you did wrong, even over several approaches. So how can one find the puzzle pieces that are missing?

Tactics Tuesdays: 3 Ways to Make Women Undress

make a woman undress
You can undress her yourself. But what if you want to make a woman undress on her own? There are 3 ways: tell her to, use barriers, and take her pants off first.

I know you’re used to the ‘standard’ way to get a new girl into bed. Bring her home, kiss her, continue to escalate on her... rub your hands up and down her, start to peel her clothes off her. She resists, you persist. Rinse and repeat until she’s naked. Then, intercourse.

Today we’ll talk about another way to do this. Rather than you be the one to take her clothes off, today’s article is about how you can make a woman undress herself.

You can use this with girlfriends and new girls alike. It can help you break through tough bouts of resistance. And it can make the escalation process a lot more fun. Tired of having her take your hands off her or stop you from disrobing her? No problem. Get her to take her clothes off herself instead.

We’ll cover three (3) different ways to do this in this article. And in my opinion, each of these is more fun than the one before it.

How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates

girl's appearance on dates
Women care about their appearances more than most men realize. Yet once you know it, you can run better dates and approaches.

In his article on approaching girls in a high energy vs. low energy state, Alek mentioned women’s tendency to put weight on how others make them look in-venue. I thought this was a great topic, and one we haven’t talked about as much as we should have. So today’s article takes that topic and explores it further.

So let’s talk about the importance women place on appearances... both how they look themselves, and how the people and environments they’re associated with make them look.

Different women place different amounts of importance on appearances. Yet everyone values appearances to one extent or another... if not always to the same degrees, or along the same dimensions.

By the end of this article, I hope you will have a better, more intuitive grasp of the importance women put on appearances. And not to worry – we’ll talk below about why this grasp is helpful to your efforts to meet, bed, and date the women you want to do that with, too.

Becoming the Beast, Part 2: Unchain the Conqueror

the conqueror
To rekindle your own raw masculinity, you must become comfortable with those most familiar of masculine friends: struggle and pain.

We live in the most perfect of all existences.

Our good deeds are always rewarded, even if we don't notice. If we truly did someone a kindness – including ourselves – it will be rewarded in that moment or in the future.

Likewise, justice is always doled out in perfect unity, even if we do not always see its consequences.

The fruits we sow always come to fruition, no matter how far we run. Even if we isolate ourselves atop a remote mountain, away from any external, hostile threat, the most dangerous judge of them all, the one within ourselves, will crawl its way out from the depths of our being and ravage us as ruthlessly as we have others.

Existence is perfect.

But it isn’t always pretty.

Calibrate to the Venue: The 3 Styles of Night Game

night game
Different types of nightlife venues require you to switch up how you approach new girls. The social, sniper, and fire-at-will strategies all work best in different settings.

Today’s subject is something I have been thinking about a great deal lately, something I have noticed that has had a great impact on the way I do things. I have been travelling a lot this summer – ranging from Stockholm, Oslo, Bucharest, to Krakow. As a result of these travels, I had to deal with different cultures, girls, and social codes. But what is of more interest is how I had to deal with new clubs.

A very common tendency for us night gamers is that we find a few spots we happen to truly like, then we refer to those as pussy goldmines. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this in regards to the actual “getting laid” process, but it can limit your learning curve. Being able to deal with different venues is key, and you learn a lot from it. This posts is about those lessons.

Before I move on, I want to make it clear that there are no perfect venues – all venues have their “shit factor”, but some venues are simply easier and better than others. I have written numerous posts on the subject before. I suggest you check out these links as well:

This post is more about how one can calibrate to different venues. Yes, different venues can require a whole different approach. I have discussed this before regarding big vs. small venues and chaotic vs. more chilled venues, and I concluded that chaotic venues will affect a girl’s state, which may make her horny from the get-go, but they can also cockblock you as a result of the many wildcards caused by the chaos. I have also mentioned how big, chaotic venues can make girls more defensive. You there have to either:

On a side note, smaller, more chill venues allow for a tighter form of game. Girls are more open as they are more in control over the situation; they can see where their friends are and do not have to be afraid of losing them. They also feel their friends are nearby and within their periphery, which creates a form of control. Additionally, as a result of being more relaxed and less chaotic, there are fewer wildcards. This allows you to go in more smoothly. Going in smooth is not something you CAN do, it’s something you MUST do, because as a result of people being more aware of their surroundings, a rejection can lead to negative social proof, as people can see you strike out. On a different side note, successful approaches can create a snowball effect.

Keep all this in mind throughout this post, as it will be key info for what is to come. I believe there are 3 different ways to approach night game:

  • Social game

  • Sniping

  • Fire-at-will

Different venues will allow for different modes. I will break each of these down, discussing what they mean, then cover which types of venues fit for each strategy.

How to Use Sex Talk in Day Game

sex talk in day game
Sex talk is a powerful technique to turn women on. But is there a way to use it outside nighttime venues? How do you use it in day game?

I wrote this article as a drawn-out and more elaborate version of the advice I had for a reader in the comments section of Alek’s article on conversational pauses – it was actually Alek himself that alerted me to the reader’s question.

The reader asks:

I was wondering if you have any examples of using sexual prizing in day game.

Just curious how it would be played to work effectively.

This is an excellent question.

Though I think, instead of just focusing the article on how we can use sexual prizing in day game (since that’s only one of several ways to use sex talk), it would be better to explain how sex talk works as a multifaceted technique and how it can be used in our day-game interactions.

Now, before getting into the specific tips and step-by-step methods, I also think it’s necessary for us to understand sex talk as a concept in the broader sense of seduction.

We need to familiarize or reacquaint ourselves with the purposes served by sex talk during a seduction. Because with any seduction technique, the more you understand the purpose of the technique, as well as what you’re trying to accomplish with it, the better your chances of pulling it off properly. And with an advanced technique like sex talk, it’s especially important that we understand the concept behind it at least somewhat, because if we don’t, it’s very likely we might end up making mistakes in field that could have easily been avoided.

So in this article, I will first dispel any fogginess that might be associated with sex talk and make things as clear as day. Once we understand sex talk as a general concept, figuring out what it can accomplish in day game will be very straight forward. Then we can get on to some of the more specific aspects of how we use sex talk in day game.

How to Fix the "He's Not a Boyfriend" Frame

he's not a boyfriend
Girls will sleep with you, but they won’t date you… and you can’t figure out why. But there are 3 reasons this happens (and you can fix them all).

This article is targeted to upper-intermediate-to-advanced daters with retention problems.

For many of the readers of this website, the problem they have is acquisition, not retention. That is, they can hang onto a girl when they get her... it’s the ‘getting’ where they have difficulty. But there are some men in the opposite boat.

If you’re in the other boat, it’s no problem for you to get girls into bed. You bed new girls often enough, and are content with your sex life. The only issue is, it’d be nice if some of those girls stuck around to become girlfriends... but they don’t. They never stick around.

The common root of this problem is also the common root of their success: how utterly they disqualify themselves as boyfriends. Because they make it simple for women (“This guy is attractive, but he is not a boyfriend at all”), sex becomes much easier to get. She doesn’t have to ask herself if she risks losing a guy she’d like to keep by sleeping with him fast... because she doesn’t want to keep him.

Yet once she’s had her fun with a guy like this, it’s time to move on, because, well, she doesn’t want to keep him.

Today we’ll talk tactical fixes to the three (3) usual sources of the “he’s not a boyfriend” frame: value, attainability, and screening.

Becoming the Beast, Part 1: A Primal World

becoming the beast
Despite the trappings of civilization, we’re all animalistic savages at heart. In Part 1 of this series, we’ll explore just how central to humans is sex.

We live in a brave new world.

Our hunter-gatherer days came to an end with the advent of agriculture, which allowed us to settle permanently in one location and call it home. This escape from the daily struggles of travel and hunting allowed us to build and to think.

Humanity gained the time to erect tall structures and new philosophies. These ideas seeped their way into every citizen's mind, and our animalistic natures began to shift into something different.

Eventually, this cohesion of custom and habit we call culture brought us to the next great leap – the Industrial Revolution. With new forms of power in our hands, modern technology was born.

Technology quickly evolved into what it is today, granting us the power to unleash our animal instincts with the touch of a button by sending some random girl across the sea a picture of our dick.

We may live in civilization, but we are still animals.

Our entire lives still revolve around the most basic of desires – to fuck, to eat, to kill, and to survive.

Despite our evolution, we still rely on leaders. We need someone to tell us what to do and how to think. And we choose the most powerful leaders (or at least the one who makes us feel more powerful). This was Donald Trump’s trump card in the U.S. election. With slogans like “Make America Great Again” and his focus on buzzwords like “winning,” he energized his base to feel like winners. Hillary Clinton, while very popular and persuasive in her own right, relied on victim mentalities and moral superiority. These make people feel safe, but not powerful. Whether it's through fear, respect, or love, we tend to choose the more powerful force to guide us.

We only value what is useful. If you are not creating, leading, or destroying on behalf of a culture, you are relegated to the bottom and given only the meager scraps of the resources. At the heart of all this is the “givers vs. takers” dichotomy. Those who provide value are, not so ironically, given the most in return. Powerful people are given passes for crimes and moral indignities that lower-value people are not. Whoever is useful to the herd survives. Whoever is not is left behind.

We pretend to act on logic or virtue, but this is an illusion. We act because of emotions. You cannot “logically act.” It’s an oxymoron. Logic isn’t a fuel for action, it’s the glue that binds thoughts together. You can want to do something then logically decide it’s not the optimal move – if you have good self-discipline – but even that “better, logical” decision is still based on emotion. You are sacrificing one desire that is recognized as short term or too dangerous for a long-term desire that will ultimately provide more pleasure. Nevertheless, the action is still motivated by emotion and feeling. Even the grandest philosophies and most noble virtues are inspired by emotion. We are forever animals looking for the greatest pleasure and the greatest resources of pleasure.

This is what civilization is – a big game in which we argue, fight, kill, and steal to achieve the greatest pleasures available.

There can be virtuous notions behind our killing and stealing, but it’s impossible to separate our desires from these acts.

And at the heart of this grand game we play?

Sex.

The "It's Cruel When Men Don't Stick Around After Sex" Argument

stick around after sex
Men don’t always stick around for a relationship after sex. Is this wrong and is there anything bad about it – or not?

On my Friday/Saturday night date post, a female commenter took issue with my advice to a male commenter that he take advantage of rebound sex to get over a harsh relationship he just came out of.

To her point, I was perhaps a little indelicate in how I suggested he do this (it was guy-to-guy talk; this is a men’s site, after all). However, she took the occasion to launch into a moral argument that casual sex hurts women, takes advantage of them, and uses and discards them like unwanted objects. Her comment arguing this is a bit long to quote (you can read her full comment here), so I’ll just quote what is the most important part to me:

I have had conversations with girlfriends who have told me that a guy won’t go out with them if they don’t sleep with them. Women have been conditioned to feel they have to have sex, much much sooner than they would feel comfortable. We know from studies that men don’t develop the feeling of love until at least 3-6 months into the relationship, even while sleeping with a woman. What they develop are lust emotions.

Most women have given up on the idea of a man protecting them and *actually* loving them. Valor and honor and real love for another is almost absent in most dating. What you describe in your post is not love at all. It is using people for sex, using people for the thrill of feeling desires, of entertainment, but it is not love. You are incredibly insightful with how to manipulate women to get to your ultimate goal. What I am saying is that this is the opposite of what a man of valor would do. He would protect his woman from physical exploitation, not be the one to exploit her. And he is exploiting her, even if it’s with her permission, when he is trying to extract sex from her when he doesn’t even genuinely love her--- care for her best good.

It doesn’t much matter if rebound sex helps a person feel better. That doesn’t make it right. Maybe we can just numb our conscience to the point that it is dead so that we can pursue feelings of lust and pleasure without caring what is actually loving to others?

First off, her science is wrong. Men are more romantic than women are, heal less completely from breakups than women do, experience love at first sight at nearly double the rate of women... and that immediate in-love love-at-first-sight feeling men get is not infatuation – relationships that spring from immediate in-love feelings are every bit as stable and likely to last as those that develop from slow build-ups.

But that’s beside the point.

Our commenter’s argument is that to sleep with her, then not see her again, or not engage in or want to engage in a long-term committed relationship with her is damaging to her. You hurt her, you injure her, and you just generally make her feel bad.

So is she right? Does sex minus commitment lead to a trail of broken hearts and cynical women?

The answer I’ll give you is “yes, but.” And the ‘but’ is quite important.

But we’re not ready for the ‘but’ yet. Let’s talk about the ‘yes’ first.