Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why is Mainstream Dating Advice So Ineffective?


A few weeks back, in the comments section of “Real Empiricists Test”, a reader asked the following question regarding the gulf between mainstream dating advice and what’s taught on this site:

Is there an article on this, or maybe someone can answer this outright. But why is it that mainstream dating advice is so contrary to the dating advice given on this site ? Why is it that there is almost no agreement ?

mainstream dating advice

The short answer, of course, is that what we focus on here is entirely techniques and strategies that:

  1. Achieve efficient, effective, reproducible results

  2. Are tested out and balanced against alternatives and discarded if found ineffective

  3. Are coming from people who’ve devoted a large chunk of time specifically to this field

... whereas most mainstream dating advice is coming from regular folk with limited experience dating and even less time spent studying and analyzing dating and sex and relationships and social dynamics both in the field and with other likeminded folk.

But the fact of that matter is, it goes a lot deeper than this. There’s more to this clash of ideologies than simply field experience vs. non, and it mainly has to do with who’s giving the advice, and what their objectives are in giving it.

How to Be a Good Kisser: 5 Steps to Confident Kissing


Something that everyone I coach always wants to know is how to be a good kisser. How do you kiss so well, so luxuriously, so lustily, so confidently, and so well that your partner looks at you after and just says, “Wow”?

how to be a good kisser

Confident kissing is not only the mark of a man who can kiss well, it is the mark of a man who can win over women without need for words. It is little shock then that the way you kiss a woman can make or break her very perception of your character, and effect whether she will hang around or not.

It is a fortunate thing then that I am about to throw you in the deep end and drown you in the techniques that will have her begging for more.

I am going to run you through some aspects of kissing rather quickly, so fasten your seat belts and let your imaginations wander and do work! I will start with mindsets, then move to what is important: techniques to ensure you pull that off, and then advanced. I hope you all don’t mind me forcing you to keep up, but the way I see it, if you really want to kiss right, let us not mess around, let us get stuck in, and get those girls thinking “what a man”!

How to Dispel Lingering Bitterness from an Old Relationship


Ending a relationship with a loved one is a difficult task for any man to endure. You know you’re supposed to replace them, not chase them. You know that going out and having fun is the better alternative to rumination. But even after learning these things, you may not be able to recreate those feelings you felt in that relationship you look back on with rose-colored glasses.

I know the exact same feeling. In my early days of finding this website, while I was still dealing with approach anxiety and the inability to pull the trigger, I found a girl who ended up taking charge and pulling the trigger herself. Unfortunately for me, when she did this, she was clearly the one in power.

dispel bitterness

Fast-forward a couple of weeks later, and my lack of experience made the relationship go sour. Logically, I was completely fine with the relationship ending, as I knew it would only be a negative influence on my life to attempt to string her along, as I would be in the position of chasing her... but emotionally, things were very different.

The Awesome Power of Tension


We’ve talked about building and using tension in several articles on here before:

build tension

... and we’ve also talked about defusing tension, often with humor, as well as why it’s good to not be TOO focused on making girls laugh (and defusing all the tension).

But I want to zero in on the topic of tension specifically, because I see a lot of people still not using it right, or nervously defusing it.

The fact is, tension lies at the foundation of power, and when you wield it correctly, you enable yourself to do all kinds of things socially, sexually, and romantically.

Why "Moving Slow" is the New Moving Fast


In the ongoing sexual arms race between men and women, the strategies for securing the highest caliber mates the most reliably are under constant evolutionary pressures. What that means for you is that as women get more accustomed to a certain kind of approach, that approach stops working, and certain other approaches must come to the fore.

Of course, as everyone knows, there’s nothing new under the sun, and just as what was new becomes old, what was old becomes new, in the ever-repeating cycle of life and love.

move slow

So it may surprise you to find out that, while the mantra of this site has been “move fast” since its date of conception, the times have changed, and in order to keep up with those changing times, we’re changing our tune too.

Because, you see, moving fast is so 2000s.

These days, moving fast is the old moving slow... and moving slow is the new moving fast.

Why Women Want Multiple Partners


There have been many articles written on this site about fidelity (or lack thereof) and on unraveling what society has told you in order to reveal the true nature and promiscuity of women. These are articles like:

And lately a lot of men in my life have been realizing that a woman’s relationship status is often tenuous and – even more concerning – actually a poor indicator as to whether or not she would actually sleep with you (even if that status is “married”). It’s definitely an unsettling realization to come to. But, unsettling by whose standards? Certainly not by Mother Nature’s.

multiple partners

Up until this point we have yet to fully cover why women want multiple partners. But believe it or not, it’s actually in a woman’s best interest to sleep with multiple men. So today I’m going to cover why women take on – or desire to take on – multiple partners and how we as men can adapt, understand, and come to terms with that fact.

Tapping Flow Rate and Process for Scads of New Girls


Note from Chase: Eric’s one of our senior forum members, and a past contributor to Girls Chase – and I’m thrilled to announce that he’s recently rejoined us as a regular contributor. Eric’s writings are meaty and dense (he is our resident master strategist, and you probably won’t want to peruse through one of his posts when you’re in the mood for some light reading), but if you want something that’s going to make you look at the deeper layers of seduction and come away with a stronger sense of how things work at their most fundamental levels, Eric is without a doubt your man. Without further ado, here he is.


When I am asked, “What’s the best and quickest way to get laid?”, my answer is – short of suggesting one hire a prostitute – a single word:

Process.

And then I repeat it,

Process, process... Process.

It’s not game, it’s not charisma, it’s not dominance. It’s not even looks, and it’s not logistics. It’s not money and it’s not power. It’s process.

flow rate

When you look at yourself, and when others look at themselves, and ask “Why is this not working?”, “What are my weaknesses and why am I not getting laid?”, the answers given are usually along the lines of:

  • I wasn’t flirty or sexual enough
  • I wasn’t dominant or leading strongly
  • I’m not as attractive as others. If only I was more handsome; had a sexier body
  • I’m not moving through interactions quickly enough and escalating
  • I can’t get good logistics and get a girl alone
  • I can’t get women to commit and not flake on me
  • I can’t get women chasing

The list goes on. Now, I’m not saying these are WRONG. These are good things to think about in terms of getting better at women; the fundamentals.

However, these are also red herrings to the most basic question, and most typical purpose of men for learning seduction: “How do I get laid?”, or for the more monogamous, “How do I get a girlfriend?

Want to Win $200? Submit Your Online Dating Profile & Let's See What You Got...


contestHey fellas,

Quick announcement. I’ve agreed to supervise a contest my old pal (“Black Dragon” from the old mASF seduction community boards, if you ever used to frequent there) is running to select the best online dating profile.

Winner gets a $200 pot – and there’re going to be two winners.

How come? Because BD’s running the contest with two sets of judges – one made up of women ages 18 to 32, and the other women ages 33 to 49.

It’s possible that if your profile is BLAZING good, you may win BOTH pots – a cool $400. There’s your car payment for the next month or two (or a two-year subscription to Girls Chase!).

8 Useful Mindsets for Meeting Women in Nightclubs


In this post I will share my thoughts on meeting women in nightclubs. Nightclubs have often been the spot many would at first consider natural to meeting women, especially those who are students of the art of seduction.

Yet many new players tend to avoid going to clubs to meet women because of the fact that there are other possible options that seems easier and more efficient than picking up girls in bars and clubs.

I agree with those saying that nightclubs are too messy and chaotic, because often they are, yet there are other positive aspects to meeting women in nightclubs. Some of the positive sides are, for example, that you can meet a huge spectrum of different women in a short amount of time. Also, meeting women in clubs allows you to easily have sex with them on the initial meeting – in fact, you can end up having really exciting and crazy nights.

meeting women in nightclubs

However, meeting women in nightclubs is hard, but with the right mindsets it all becomes somewhat easier. Yes, of course it requires lots of practice to become good at meeting women in clubs, but usually the biggest cause of failures is not lack of skill, but the wrong mindsets.

In this post I will cover some mindsets that I still use and that have helped my friends and me a lot. So I hope you enjoy this post.

How to Avoid Making the Same Mistake Twice


If you’ve spent any amount of time learning pickup, then you know that you’re bound to make countless mistakes. We’ve all been through the same exact process, as you need to make mistakes in order to make progress.

Progression is necessary to finally get the results that you want. Progression, however, comes at a different pace for different people.

Some men progress through this material at a lightning fast pace, going from zero to hero within mere months.

... meanwhile, others, while exerting similar or even greater effort towards becoming attractive men who are irresistible to women, are just not getting the results they desire.

same mistake twice

What is the primary difference between these men? The man who progresses quickly doesn’t make the same mistake twice, while the man who is stuck continues to make the same exact mistakes over and over again. As a result, he feels marooned on an ideological island with no escape.

How do you become the man that doesn’t make the same mistake twice? How do you bolt through this material and rack up lay after lay, shocking even your closest friends with the rapid progression you’ve made? I could just tell you to not make the same mistakes twice. But I know that there is more to the puzzle, as most guys are boggled when it comes to avoiding making these mistakes over and over again.

You see, most guys just don’t know when or how they’ve made a mistake. They can feel that something is wrong, but it’s very difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of the mistake. Without knowledge of how the mistake came about, you’re just throwing darts in the dark, trying to yank some progress kicking and screaming out of your unknown mistakes.

It’s time to turn on the lights so that you can finally get the results that you've been dreaming of.