Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Never Feel Nervous to Meet Girls Again

nervous with girls
She’s over there, but you feel so nervous about going up to meet her. Maybe she’ll reject you; maybe she won’t be nice. There are a few things to realize if you feel this way, though.

What could you achieve with women if you were fearless?

Think of all the things you could have done and said.

I myself did not start off doing this void of emotion. It used to be so bad for me that I would shake uncontrollably from just the thought of approaching a random person. Everyone has felt this way to varying levels of potency at one point in their life or another. So what is there to do?

You will never completely rid yourself of this. Over time it will dissipate more and more but it will always be there. Yet you can elevate yourself from it. I personally have come a long way from where I used to be. From my meager one approach a week to now being able to approach on command whenever I want.

How do I do this? Needless to say it is not because I conquered my fear but instead because I learned to approach in spite of it. And you can too. You can go into a venue feeling out of it and leave it feeling like a god consistently by taking on the right mindsets and actions. What are they?

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection

dating turnaround
A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula.

This is a firefighting post.

I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes.

On my article about screening girls for same-day lays, a reader asks:

About that girl giving massive iois and i didnt approach due to exams coming up.. Its difficult to go into social mode when you have your head in books all day since over a month. And to top it all off, she has gone cold.. typical auto rejection, which is my main sticking point for sometime now. She gave me massive blatant in my face AIs but i failed to take action. Price paid. Very frustrating. I have read all your articles on auto rejection.


Please come up with some technique to turn around auto rejection as its seems impossible once girls go in that territory. You advised value boosts and preselection to turn around auto rejections but would not those make us seem more unattainable and worsening auto rejection as she sees me with other girls and thinks she wasnt good enough? Thoughts?

I was reading your old forum posts and you said not to accept responisbility for her reactions as it make you seem weak. What in this situation when her ego is hurt? Will accepting responsibility that i wanted to come talk to her earlier but could not due to exams better the situation or worsen it? Or should i blame it all on her that its difficult to approach you as you have a lot of security around? ;) (Her parents or brothers are chaperoning her mostly). How about opening with i know i should have come earlier but.. ‘launching into reasons’? This seems like obsessing but i just want to get your take on it.

Is it better to go in as soon as you sense a girl is auto rejecting or give a time gap and re-engage later? And is it possible to turn around their opinions of yourself after ghosting for a while or once its set they see you that way whole life no matter what.. even years later?

Why doesn’t chasing work when the girl is AR? Shouldn’t her hurt ego feel relieved as being chased is an ego boost?

Auto-rejection. If you’ve just tuned in, that’s when a girl feels like she can’t get you... So rejects you before you reject her. It’s a response that lets her shield her ego from a guy she thinks doesn’t like or respect her.

It’s also one of the hardest issues to fix. Particularly if you’ve just met.

Yet, there’s opportunity there too. Because if you can fix the mistake, her passion for you goes through the roof.

Why Not to Talk About Game with Women

talk about game
Lots of guys talk about game with girls. But how does this affect your relationships with them? And is it worthwhile to do?

I’ve noticed a difference over the years between my natural friends and my pick up artist friends. Well, more than one difference, but this one is the topic of this article.

The difference I want to talk about today is that my natural friends never talk about game with girls. My friends who’ve intensively studied dating often do.

This one little difference echoes through their relationships with women. It affects what they talk about with girls on dates. It affects what they talk about in their relationships. And it affects (or is a product of) their thoughts.

I’m going to tell you it’s not good to talk about game with girls in this piece. You might not like that. Maybe you want to be completely open with girlfriends. You’ll see why I recommend this as we go through the article though.

And I think by the end of it, you’ll agree.

How to Survive in a Time of Moral Panic

moral panic
In a moral panic, no one is safe. Neighbors turn on neighbors, and opportunists use the panic to advance their careers. To survive the hysteria, you must be smart.

Last week I wrote an article titled “When Does ‘No’ Actually Mean ‘No’?” to help you stay smart and safe without having to hole up in a bunker and outwait an age of ambiguity and fear around sex. Today, I want to talk about survival during a general moral panic.

You may have come of age during the ‘rape culture’ witch-hunt. So this might be your first such experience with moral panic. Yet hysterias like this are a fixture of civilization.

A moral panic is a big fear that snakes through society, egged on by crusaders and amplified by the media. In a moral panic, an opportunistic minority become inquisitors in a grab for power. Meanwhile the rest of the population hunkers down and tries to wait out the storm. The few who try to fight back early on are often crushed.

Moral panics turn neighbor against neighbor. They do this by encouraging one man to condemn another for his own protection. If you accuse your neighbor of being a witch, surely you must not be one yourself.

So how do you survive a moral panic? Are you forced to keep your head down and hope no one fingers you as a boogeyman? Should you join the mob and gang up on others until the whole thing blows over, then pretend it never happened?

As I’ll lay out, these are the last things you want to do... Because they leave you defenseless against any accusations leveled against you.

Instead, you must seek to actively define yourself. You must make your identity so clear that the idea of accusing you seems not only pointless, but foolish.

How to Get into Sexual State (and Make You and Her Horny)

sexual state
Sexual state lets you project sexuality and attract girls with your vibe. To get it, you must imagine sex, quit masturbation, and get laid more.

Hi there. Today I will discuss sexual state – as in, the feeling of being horny and desiring sex – and how it can benefit you in the field. I will discuss how it works and how you can use it to its fullest potential. Sexual state is a biologically informed mental state in which you want to bond on a sexual level with someone.

So let us first discuss the masculine aspect of sexual state – how can we use sexual state in field to attract women? Then we will talk about how you can increase your chances of getting into a sexual state to begin with.

How to Be a Lovable Dick, Part 1: Why Being Nice Isn't Always Nice

lovable dick
Sometimes if you’re nice to a girl, that isn’t actually what she wants. She may want nice or she may want tough... it depends on where she’s at.

For most of 2015, I took an interesting route with my behavior.

I knew that attainability was a big barrier for most girls. They knew I was a player or heard about me being a player. Plus, I’d already come so far with my curve into becoming a Genuine Man (and you can read my massive 10 article series on that journey).

So, I decided to test the boundaries of niceness. How completely sweet, caring, and doting could I be with a girl and still dominate her, turn her on, and ravage her like a savage animal?

The answer? Very.

An interaction can go from meeting her to sleeping with her with nothing but smiles, sweet words, loving staring contests, and incessant compliments. Even if she has a borefriend, too (always thought you needed to position yourself as a careless asshole to juxtapose against his capitulating and needy behavior).

However, I also went a bit too far in my niceness. I let girls act aloof, sassy, bitchy, and rude, with no consequence whatsoever. I even got friend-zoned a few times because of this, which hasn’t happened in a while (but was very funny to see).

I needed to get some edge back. So I decided to, well, become a bit of a prick again. And now that I consciously did so, from the ground up, I clearly see why dickish behavior works (and when and how it doesn’t).

Tactics Tuesdays: Spin Your Flaws Into Byronic Flaws

male virgin
Every man has flaws. However, with a little spin, you can turn ordinary flaws into attractive, Byronic flaws.

A commenter on my article “Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others” asks:

How attractive is it when you say that “I’m terrible at getting into deep connections with people, there are always people I like, but I never get attached that much so that it was too hard to let people go or go away myself. Free choice always stays my priority.”.

Because it’s the trait I really have.

If you tell her you’re someone who doesn’t connect well with others, usually that’s no good. It sounds like you have a flaw. Or you’re too hard to get. You’re likely to send her into auto-rejection or just turn her off.

Yet there’s a way to frame this. One that works well. All you do is say this:

“You know, I love people. But most girls can’t get past my armor. I don’t know what it is... And I don’t know why I can’t let them in. I so wish I could meet a girl I connect with. It just seems like the average girl is not connection material.”

Just like that, a flaw becomes an asset.

It becomes a Byronic trait. The kind of thing girls go nuts for in men.

And all it takes to do it? Just a little frame control.

If You’re a Male Virgin, Should You Tell Her or Not?

male virgin
It sucks to be a male virgin in our society. But here’s the $10,000 question: should you tell her you’re a virgin, or not? (Answer: probably not).

A reader writes in to ask whether to discuss your virginity with a girl you like:


Been a reader of this site for many years and, suffice to say, this site has really changed my life. I’ve gained confidence, I have developed a strong social network of friends, but, ironically, I have still never slept with a girl or been in a single relationship. I’m still young (20; I started reading when I was 15 or 16), I know, but the concept of male virginity scares me. I was wondering if you guys could touch on the subject, mainly:

(1) Does male virginity matter to woman?

(1a) Regardless of the answer, how does one carry oneself, how does one sell oneself?

(2) If you could talk about male virginity in general, and what it means for us, as men, today.

(2a) This could be, interestingly enough, tied in to modern gender roles, i.e., what it means to be a man in today’s Western society.

Also, just a little background: I’m currently serving in the military (in Israel), and thus it has become very hard to meet new women, and I, and the women I meet, are often swamped for time.

Was hoping you could also do a short piece on meeting women when you serve in the armed forces?

Thanks in advance,

This is a question we get often enough on Girls Chase.

So, let’s answer it.

When Does ‘No’ Actually Mean ‘No’?

no means no
When does no mean no? As the lines of consent increasingly blur, today’s men find themselves caught in a sexual Catch-22.

You’re somewhere private with a girl... kissing, caressing, running hands on one another’s bodies. And then you go to lift her shirt up.

“No,” she says.

It’s not a firm ‘no’. It’s more of an “I’m not quite ready” no. Or so you think.

But... Well, you might be wrong. You’re not quite sure.

You don’t want to be that guy who pushes her too far and makes her do something she doesn’t want to.

She isn’t a child, of course. She’s an adult like you. She has agency; her choices are hers.

Yet you want to be a force for good... not regret.

On top of this, you’re terrified of a girl crying rape... You realize 43,000 men have false allegations of rape made against them in the U.S. every year. Most of those cases get thrown out, but often only after tens of thousands in legal fees.

It’s the Salem witch-hunt of the 2010s. And you do not want to be the accused yelling “More weight.” You don’t want your life cindered for nothing.

Yet sex resistance is part and parcel to sex with American girls. If you have intercourse in America, you will encounter this. It is what girls from here do.

So what exactly should you do? And when does ‘no’ actually mean ‘no’?