Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 3: Stability Issues

relationship stabilityThis is Part 3 of my series on why relationships fall apart. Part 1 was on game-personality disconnect, when the approach you use for getting her clashes unfavorably with the version of ‘you’ she gets to know while actually dating you. Part 2 was on the problem of your long-term value to her being unclear, when she doesn’t see the value there from you she wants or expects in a long-term mate.

Our topic for today is stability issues; basically, when she feels insecure in the relationship.

If you’re a veteran of long-term relationships (or even had your fair share of short-term ones with as-yet hopeful girls), you’ve no doubt heard the following common refrains:

  • “What are we?”

  • “Where is this going?”

  • “I need to know this is headed somewhere.”

  • “I just need to know I’m not wasting my time.”

What a woman’s telling you when she utters one of these phrases is that the stability of the relationship is lacking, and she needs you to calm the rocky seas.

These are just the surface of the ocean, however. There’s a whole body of seawater and a thousand leagues beneath it you must grasp if you’re to prevent stability issues capsizing your relationship.

The Pros and Cons of Social Proof for Seduction

In a PM, one of our readers asked the following question:

I know there is a lot of material out there that covers this stuff. However I also know you must do things differently. For example you're probably the only seducer I've read who says you don't care about social proof. To me this makes it clear that you have incredible seduction skills, as you actually overcame this barrier. This is insane to me because so often in bars I feel like girls aren't responding to me well because I don't have social proof. And when I have girls with me they're much warmer.

social proof

This is a an important thing to take note of, because a lot of pick-up and seduction material out there, especially when it comes to club game, emphasizes how status plays a huge role. The reader is right: I do not care that much about social proof or social status in the club. Still, I believe social proof can be an incredible tool of seduction.

So without any further ado, allow me to break this all down.

5 Tips to Get Over Jealousy

In my opinion there are two kinds of jealousy:

  1. The kind you feel out of superficial insecurity, and
  2. The kind you feel out of genuine loss


A lot of men feel jealous superficially and confuse it for something genuine. That is easy to fix, you just have to learn to move on. But occasionally some of us who are familiar with moving on get swept into a situation where genuine loss is felt, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t let it go.

In this article I’m going to talk about the second kind of jealousy and getting past the grief that comes with it.

Tactics Tuesdays: 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.

Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 2: Long-Term Value Unclear

This is Part 2 of my series on why relationships fall apart. You can read Part 1, on what I called ‘game-personality disconnect’ (where you use one persona to get her, then adopt a different persona in the relationship) here.

Part 2 is on your long-term value proposition. That is to say, if she’s going to stick around with you, there must be a clear value proposition there over the long-term.

long-term value

If you have an easy time sleeping with new women but a hard time keeping them around, it’s likely this issue is your bugbear.

The biggest part of this issue, of course, is understanding the answer to this question: what does this girl require of a man for her to stick with him long-term?

Unless you can answer that, it’s luck you rely on that she stays with you.

Today, let’s talk about how you rely on something more than luck.

My Plan When I Go Out to Meet Women

meet women planHi there. I hope you are still rockin. Today we will get back to basics – because basics are so awesome!

A few days ago I received a message from a reader. It went like this:

“Hey man, I’m a big fan of your writing on Girls Chase. Your stories are legendary and they fit the mold of what I’d like to achieve. You’ve written extensively about intermediate and advanced topics. But I thought I’d write you and see if you would consider posting some more beginner material.”


“It seems to me like when you go to a club, with friends or all by yourself, you have a very clear idea of what you’re doing all the time. I would love to hear more thoughts on how you do it. What are you looking for when you first get to a bar? What’s your first priority? Are you relaxed when you get there or are you a little nervous? Do you use canned material or go with the flow? What is your intention when you first start talking to a girl?


“Think about it! And thanks for all your work... it has changed my life on a deep level.”

I cut out some parts of the message as not everything was relevant for this exact post. Now the message covered a lot of amazing topic suggestions. I might not cover them all but I will cover quite a few of them in my upcoming posts.

So the questions asked in this message were about my mindsets and intentions – so I will respond to them directly so that those of you who are curious about how I think can understand where I come from. A lot of seducers think like I do.

Let us begin.

Using Common Sense To Get Laid

One of the major problems I see with the men going out to meet women is that many do not set themselves up for success. They are more preoccupied with trying to impress their friends, getting validation, or simply trying to avoid negative feedback, instead of going out for the right reasons... like to get laid! This article is going to be shallow and to the point. Please sheathe your pitchforks and extinguish your torches. I am about to hit you with some knowledge.

This article is about going to a night club and getting laid. Maybe later, I will write something with more fluff-and-love but for now let me cater to those who love the hunt. Those warriors that refuse to settle and whom flourish from competition. With that being said, here are some common sense closing tactics I know the majority of you are not following through on.

common sense

I see this day in and day out with my students here in Vegas and it makes me sick. People are so focused on so many advanced tactics and tricks that they miss out on fixing the simple things that could easily increase their results tenfold with just a little effort. Do I have your attention? Good, let’s go!

Tactics Tuesdays: When She’s Not Ready to Escalate

not ready to escalateSometimes, you’ll have met a girl and be talking with her, or you’ll be on a date with her, and you’re at that point with things where you would (normally) move to the next step.

Only, you try to go to that next step with her, but she’s not going.

She’s not ready for the courtship or the seduction to escalate to the next stage, and, thus, refuses.

Maybe you’re having a great conversation with her at the bar, and you suggest the two of you grab seats. Nah, she says, she’s got to stay at the bar.

Perhaps you’ve had a wonderful conversation on a date with her, and you want to take her home. Only, you make the invite, and she tells you she’d rather spend some more time at the café you’re at.

Or, you’ve met this girl on the street and walked all over town with her, but she simply won’t grab food with you or accompany you anywhere else... even though it feels like she ought to be ready to.

What do you do when it’s time to escalate... but she’s not ready?

Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 1: Game-Personality Disconnect

why relationships failWith this article, I’m kicking off a new series called “Why Relationships Fall Apart” that I’ll make further installments in as the weeks go by. The first in the WRFA series is on something I’ve deemed ‘game-personality disconnect’. A comment from a reader named ‘straw’ in my article on “Why Women Misremember the Past” describes this perfectly:

Hi Chase.
As much as i dont have much problem with pick up and short term relations, I have found it impossible to maintain a longer relationship. It is almost as if suddenly my value dropped to zero. The pattern repeats itself all the time and its been going on for years now. At the beginning, women get crazy about me, the persue a relationship and after more or less 3-4 months there is a complete almost overnight shoft in the interest department.
Is it possible that I employ too much game at the beginning so they are attracted to someone im not? I may put on some game at the beginning which makes them pursue me hard and then the moment i get involved, usually after a couple of months, i show them i am involved and their interest drops, they start criticizing me, and its almost like eveything i do is SUDDENLY bad and wrong or ridiculous.
If yoy are in a relationship with somebody of course you show you care, what would be the point otherwise. Why does my value drop a couple of months after we enter the relationship?

The problem straw has run into is that the way you attract and take women itself serves as a screening tool, drawing in the women who are most attracted to that ‘style’.

Just like you probably have your own preference for submissive girls or feisty girls, and girls of an opposing style bore you or drive you nuts, women have their preferences too – and if you lure in women looking for one thing by behaving like it, only to revert to something else later on, for her it’s kind of like buying a ticket to a metalcore concert because that’s her scene only to show up there and discover it’s jazz (or vice versa).

How to Find and Keep a Mentor in Seduction

Note from Chase: Denton Fisher has been actively approaching women for 4.5 years, with a specialty in same-night lays. He’s taught over 100 students in-field, and is a prolific seducer, posting two to five new lays a week, and juggling up to seven women in rotation at a time. His first series of articles on Girls Chase focuses on achieving mastery picking up and seducing girls. Here’s Denton.

This article is for both the game junkies and the dabblers out there, as well as those who are fighting to master your own individual fields. It is all the same. Reaching mastery in any field will have the same patterns/similarities, and one of the major ones is the quest to find a mentor.

seduction mentor

This is something I am good at and is the single biggest reason why I have developed my game to the point it is at now. With that being said, let me share with you why I have acquired half a dozen pick-up mentors of extreme skill over the course of a year.