Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

2013: The Year in Review + 49 Top Posts


It's been a prolific year for writing on Girls Chase - we've seen 250 new articles hit the site this year, from 10 different contributors. If you're curious about individual tallies, we're at:

  • 2 articles by Eric Reeves on power dynamics

  • 2 articles by Ross Leon on getting in great shape and stopping judgment

  • 3 articles by J.J. Jones on getting investment and being attractive

  • 6 articles by Richard Weddel on cold reading and various other techniques

  • 7 articles by Cody Lyans on low-profile under-the-radar seductiveness

  • 12 articles by Alek Rolstad, on sexual frames, threesomes, and sex reports

  • 12 articles by Drexel Scott on NLP, frame-setting, and threesomes with girlfriends

  • 14 articles by Peter Fontes on social circle and various topics

  • 25 articles by Colt Williams on everything from sexting to entitlement to party sex

  • ... and 167 articles by me, Chase Amante, covering the full gamut of things we cover on this site (and a few topics we usually don't)

(links to each writer's list of articles when clicking on his name above)

2013 year in review

Since I don't want to appear biased in deciding, but also since I personally have 3x as many articles on here this year as everyone else combined, I've decided to split a "Best of 2013" list into two lists - 17 of the best articles by our other authors out of the 58 they've written, and 32 of the best articles out of the 167 I've put out. I tried to narrow it down more than this, but this is about as whittled down as I could get this list - descriptions for each article follow links, to help you choose what to read right now.

Unless you've read everything on here as it's come out, you're likely to find at least a couple of gems in here you haven't yet read - and even if you have, there are probably a few you'll have forgotten about, but will be happy to stumble across once more.

Here we go.

What Women Like: The 10 Things You Must Know


What Women Like

Last week I wrote a post on what qualities women want in their men. The post covered everything from independence to dripping sex appeal.

But what if you’ve already got most of those qualities?

What if you’re a man who has a lot to offer, and you want to know how to keep a girl happy?

Or what if you already have a girl and want to know how to keep her excited and fulfilled?

Think of this as the corollary to my previous post. This is an article on what women like. It will cover the things that keep girls happy and wanting to either keep coming back into your life, or wanting to continue to be with you if you’re already in some kind of relationship with them.

Let’s get to it.

The Wrapping and the Present


wrapping vs. presentsOver the past month, 340Breeze, one of our members and commenters here, has made a couple of insightful comments and asked a few thoughtful questions about a subject that can be fairly boiled down to "the wrapping and the present".

His first comment was in the article on specialness (comment here).

And his second was in the piece on reversing poor precedent (comment here).

The first comment discussed his experiences meeting women who seemed outwardly impressive at first, but lacking in substance after he got to know them; in the second comment, he asked whether it was better for a woman interested in capturing a good man to focus more on playing coy and drawing things out with men (what I'd term "game" and "fundamentals", or style), or on becoming such all-around awesome people that they were simply naturally already in very high demand (who you really are as a person, friend, and mate - your substance).

In fact, this dichotomy - of fundamentals and game vs. who you are, style vs. substance, or the wrapping vs. the present - is one that underlies all of social dynamics, whether mating and dating, or choosing whom you want to be friends with, or hiring employees, bringing on consultants, or selecting the company you want to go work for.

The key here, and what everyone's trying to do, is to avoid being suckered by nice wrapping that isn't backed up by an equally impressive present underneath... but also not miss the great presents hiding under crummy wrapping paper.

Yet, that isn't so easy to do.

The Sexual Marketplace: A Primer


Much like Alek's article on the Secret Society, this will be a theoretical entry, meant to improve your understanding of large-scale gender dynamics.

Let’s begin with a definition:

The Sexual Market Place, or SMP, is the invisible battlefield on which intrasexual competition is constantly waged, in order for every individual to maximize the chances of passing their genes onto the next generation successfully.

The Sexual Marketplace

Both men and women are in constant war with the other members of their respective sexes in order to fulfill their genetic prerogatives, which are to survive and replicate. This underlying warfare drives nearly all of human competition and progress in the world.

For both genders, there are only two ways to improve one's standing in the Sexual Marketplace:

  1. Raise your own Sexual Market Value (SMV)

  1. Lower the SMV of competitors

And that's literally all there is to it. For the remainder of this article, I'm going to point out common ways that each gender utilizes each option, highlighting certain social norms and forms of intrasexual aggression meant to facilitate those ends.

Let's start with the men.

Should You Buy Gifts for a Girlfriend?


gifts for girlfriendWe're in the midst of the gift-giving season, and one of the big questions that comes up this time of year is both whether you ought to buy gifts for a girlfriend - and, if so, what kinds of gifts... and how many?

My phys ed teacher in high school, a guy named Mr. Myers, was known for dumping his girlfriends a few weeks before Christmas because he didn't want to buy them presents - all the boys thought this was hilarious and badass, and the girls thought it was despicable (but still flirted with him anyway). He was one of those assholes who wasn't completely magnetic, but he had this half-sleazy, half-charming way of grinning that told you he probably did all right with the fairer sex regardless.

When I was younger, and a bit more white knight-y, I thought this was just poor behavior of his; "If I had a girlfriend, I'd sure buy her Christmas presents!" I thought to myself.

But when I got a little bit older, and picked up a bit more actual life experience with women, I began to reconsider that position: was it possible that Mr. Myers had a point?

Might it be better to be Scrooge than Santa during the season of holiday cheer and good will toward men?

The 7 Key Qualities in Men Women Want


It’s a question as old as the art of seduction itself: what do women want? Legions of men out there have spent long, lonely nights – following a rejection or disappointing night outing – pondering this question.

men women want

So… really, what do women want? Well, luckily for you, one of the things at the top of their list is a quality man. And what do they look for? What defines the men women want? Today I’m going to outline the 7 key qualities that all women (but especially the most high-value ones) look for in a man.

How to NEXT a Girl


Reading through posts in the relationship forum, as well as guys' relationship issues elsewhere on the Internet, there appears to be a lot of confusion over how and when to implement what I believe is the single most powerful tool in a man's relationship arsenal:

next a girl

The NEXT.

Throughout this article, I'm going to provide you with the proper contexts in which to execute a NEXT, which situations make it impossible or ineffective, and how to do it. But first, a definition:

How to Tell a Sex Story, Part I


Sharing stories is a good way of conveying your personality, which is the pillar of what creates attraction. What attracts women are the elements, or we might call them the traits, of your personality that are attractive.

For example, you can display higher value by sharing a story of yours, which can be done by telling the girl you’re talking to a story in which you are experiencing an exciting event, or just simply communicating to her that you have an exciting life. Maybe the story communicates social proof, or preselection – where you meet other girls.

There are no doubts that all this works, but what I wanted to talk about today is the usage of storytelling as a tool to convey a sexual personality. Say, by sharing sexual experiences in order for you to be perceived by her as a sexually experienced man.

sex story

Further you can also share a story in order to make a girl horny – as your story will be like an erotic novel to her ears, allowing her to fantasize about the event by herself (women love pornographic literature – such as erotic novels).

And, sharing sex stories can also work to set the right frame. As I mentioned in my introduction post about sex talk: the frame will define her perception of you; which means that if she perceives you as a sexual man, she will treat you like one. How people perceive you plays a crucial role in defining their behavior toward you.

So now, in this article we will lay out the different steps in how you can pull this off properly.

  • How to transition into a sex story

  • How to actually tell a sex story

  • Short Recap

We will get right into the first step.

Reversing Poor Past Precedent with Girls You Like


reversing bad precedentAlex writes in with a question about a follow-up article to the one on precedent: “Dating and Relationship Precedent: Why It’s So Very Important.” Here's his email:

Hi Chase and friends at girlschase.com

Your articles are amazing! I found Chase's article on precedent to be thought-provoking:

http://www.girlschase.com/
content/dating-and-relationship-precedent-why-it’s-so-very-important

I was wondering if you guys think writing a secondary article on how to recover after precedent has been set poorly would be a good follow-up idea.

For example: Say with this particular girl, I've moved too slowly with her, been overly helpful, white-knighted her, and acted overly insecure. As a result, I ended up losing her. But what if I want a second chance? Do you have any suggestions on bouncing back after setting poor precedent?

I know it would be best to move on, and I wish I knew about setting good precedent back when I was inexperienced, but sometimes I just want a second shot. I think it would be excellent to have an article on bouncing back after poor precedent, if possible.

Let me know if you guys think this would be a good suggestion!

Best,
Alex

This is a sticky issue, and it's not one with an easy fix... not even a remotely easy fix. It's also a totally irrational problem to have, in the grand scheme of things, and it's one that's rooted firmly into a scarcity mentality of some sort or another - it may be that you don't feel you can ever meet another girl as amazing as this one (you lack absolute abundance), or it may be that you don't know if you're ever going to find another girl at ALL (just a complete lack of abundance mentality) - or, at the very least, you've just plunged so much time and emotional investment into this girl that your psyche won't let you let go.

The rational option is always, "Go out, forget about the girl you've dug yourself into a deep pit of despair with, get more skilled with women, upgrade your game and your fundamentals, and go date and sleep with 10 more women hotter, cooler, and more interesting than this one."

Yet, it's a question that comes up SO MUCH from guys, that it's probably worth addressing on its own: how do you change a girl's perception of you when it's already pretty low?

It will require you to move mountains and pull off feats that few men ever have, but if you're willing to give it your all, I may as well lay out the tools for you. So, by popular request...

What’s Great About Inexperienced Women (and What Isn’t)


inexperienced womenIf you're out and about routinely meeting new women, you'll notice that the women you meet, of course, have a broad range of different personality types and characteristics:

  • Some are bold

  • Some are shy

  • Some try to take charge clumsily

  • Some take charge deftly and naturally

  • Some will wait for eternity for you to take charge

  • Some seem excited to meet you

  • Some appear indifferent

  • Others are reserved, and you have no idea what they're thinking

What this article is centered on is describing the inexperienced women you'll meet - those inexperienced with men, with dating, with sex, and with relationships. What we'll be examining in this piece is how you can tell them from more experienced women; what the differences are when you're actually with them, interacting with them, setting up dates with them, sleeping with them, and having relationships with them; and what are the main pros and major cons of inexperienced vs. more experienced women.

Should be a fun read, and hopefully you'll learn a thing or two you might not have run into, noticed, or been made aware of just yet.