Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 1: Types of Venues

meet girls at gay bars
Part 1 of the “meeting girls in gay bars” series starts off with venue selection. Namely, the 4 best types of gay bars to meet women at.

Hey, guys. As promised, here is the first post of my series on how to game in gay venues. This will be an introductory post about the gay environment and the different venues out there. I will discuss how to pick the right venues and give some insights into the dynamics of each.

I will leave the in-depth discussion about all the dos and don’ts pertaining to seduction in these venues to future posts, because I believe an introduction to the gay environment is key. So I’ll start with that.

Also, before I begin, I have to share a disclaimer that I will include in every post in this series. You will quickly understand why I am doing this. Here is it:

Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell of all your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.

It is in your own best interest, too.

Anyway, without further ado, let us get right into it.

How to Get Past the Bouncer (and Get into the Club)

get past the bouncer
To get past the bouncer and make it into the nightclub, mind the 5 aspects of the GET IN club entry system: girls, expenses, trouble, + 2 more.

The worst club entry experience I’ve had was at a place in Las Vegas. I found myself stuck outside the venue, pushed to the side, while everyone else in line – who’d gotten there much later than I had – was allowed to march right in past me. I was dressed well (better than many of the people who got in) and looked good. But I’d made the fatal mistakes of getting there too early, and talking to a poorly dressed, low status guy in line... And the bouncer exiled me to the side of the queue as a result. After standing to the side watching other people march in for twenty minutes, I finally stooped to bribing the bouncer to get in – something I’d never done before and haven’t done since.

After this incident, back home in San Diego, I made getting into the clubs I wanted a priority. I picked up a VIP card that let me cut the lines at most of the venues in town. I rolled with people who knew people. And I went out of my way to befriend bouncers and club staff again, something I’d neglected since my early days in clubbing.

Before long, my outings often consisted of the opposite of that Las Vegas experience. Throngs of other club-goers would be stuck in a slow-moving queue as I marched past them, flashed my ID at the bouncer, and stepped right in. Some of those club-goers – girls especially seemed to hate watching me get in while they had to wait – would yell about fairness, or spoiled elites, or how assholes like me needed to wait in line like the rest of ‘em. And I’d just chuckle and bear these folks no ill will, because I’d been in their positions plenty of times before.

If you enjoy the nightlife regularly, in any major metropolis, entering the club will be a major concern of yours. So today, we’re going to cover all the various ways you can gain entry, or even skip the cover charge, and not have to worry about getting stuck outside.

Tactics Tuesdays: 7 Awesome Ways to Ace Women's Tests

women's tests
Girls test when they want to gauge a man. But not every test warrants the same response. Here are the 7 ways to respond in the face of women’s tests.

Tests are a major irritant of many guys new to dating. Yet despite covering tests extensively, and giving you plenty of tools to deal with them over the years, I haven’t assembled a proper end-to-end guide on acing these.

If you’re new here or need a refresher, read these articles on tests (and why women use them) first:

The tests we’ll deal with in this article are lighter tests. i.e., put-you-on-the-spot type tests. The kind where she is not trying to reject you yet, but she is turning up the heat. For recovery from hard tests – where she out-and-out rebuffs or rejects you – see this article:

If she’s testing you in any way other than ignoring or rejecting you, however, this article will serve as your guide to seven (7) terrific ways to hurdle over her tests without pulling your hamstring.

You will notice as you read through these a common theme to all but the very first and, to a certain degree, the very last way: you respond to her tests by teasing her. She tests, you tease. She tests, you tease.

When a woman tests, what she’s evaluating is your reaction to her tests, to better gauge what kind of man you are. Do you flip a table over? Do you turn into a mound of jelly? Or do you brush her tests aside while you tease and flirt with her?

In all but the most serious cases (where she has raised a genuine problem), you’re best served to make light of her attempt to put you on the hot seat.

Now let’s unpack those seven (7) ways to ace women’s tests.

The Perfect Date is Romantically Fun

perfect date
The perfect date is the right kind of enjoyable. Not platonic, friendly fun – but romantic, sexual fun, instead.

Six and a half years ago, I wrote about Why “Fun” is a Seduction Killer, designed to wrest you out of the ‘need to please’ mindset on dates so many guys carry about. That is, lots of guys will try their darnedest to make dates an absolute blast for girls... And end up constructing dates that are too contrived, too entertaining, or that violate our five Cs of dating.

I’d like to add a corollary to the “don’t make dates super fun” rule now. That corollary is this:

The ideal date is one both daters enjoy themselves in a sexual and romantic way.

If both daters enjoy themselves in a sexual/romantic way, there’s a high likelihood the date will end well. Either with a kiss and with the desire in both partners to see each other again (at which point you may use date compression), or with both partners falling happily into bed (at which point first-date sex is achieved; now you just need to convert her, assuming you’d like to see her again).

What’s the difference between a too-fun date that is fun in a platonic way, versus a mutually-enjoyable date that is fun in a sexy/romance-y way? That’s the distinction this post is about.

Why Some Guys Creep Women Out (and How to Easily Avoid This)

creep women out
Girls have guys read too much into things sometimes. Or even chase them around. The result? Women can become oversensitive to “creepy” behavior.

In my first post regarding the lessons I have learned from gaming in the gay environment, a user named Agent asked the following question:

Hey Alek,

Could you elaborate more on the creepy approaches vs. the good ones? It’s actually very interesting you were in a situation where you could examine the scene from a woman’s point of view. By the way, thank you for your reply in your previous post about approaching in day game! You mentioned very subtle approach signals from girls. I don’t seem to notice any except the very obvious ones. Could you expand here, on the subtle signs? ... Generally, I feel confident to approach when the girl is giving me strong eye contact and/or smiling. This does not happen that much often though.

To give you some context, this question was posted in a thread in which I covered some dating and seduction lessons I learned from spending time picking up women in LGBT venues. In that post, I briefly mentioned how being approached by gay men in those venues gave me some perspective on how to better calibrate my own approaches to women.

I will start this post by sharing a story of mine, then I’ll discuss a number of things that make an approach good or bad. At the end of this post, I will sum up what makes a good approach.

Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game

urbanization and game
Game – a male strategy to date and mate with women – is a phenomenon that emerges naturally in complex, organized, crowded societies.

In 2 A.D., Roman poet Ovid published his three-piece work Ars Amatoria, the first two books of which deal with how to find, bed, and retain women.

Ancient Shang Dynasty poems and love songs weave details on how to seduce in with their descriptions of the romances they retell.

In 374 A.D. Augustine of Hippo picked up women on the streets of Carthage, and would share his exploits with wingmen who picked up women too. Casanova traipsed through 18th Century Europe carving notches into his bedpost. The ancient world was filled with men who studied ‘the game’.

There’s always resistance to the idea of men learning and practicing game. Some folks will tell you it’s unnecessary – you’re supposed to just know this stuff. It’s preprogrammed into you. Others will tell you it’s immoral; why can’t you just pick one girl and settle down? Still more men will tell you seduction is a misguided pursuit that takes you away from your role as a man, or from greatness.

Yet despite the critics, this skill set of meeting, seducing of, and sleeping with women pops up again and again throughout history – most recently beginning in earnest in the 1990s of our own age and civilization.

For something so many people will tell you you do not need, why does game keep resurfacing?

Instinct-Based Game, Part 1: Your Gut Usually Knows

instinct based game
Your gut usually knows what the right thing to do on a date is. The challenge for many guys is learning to be in tune with that gut sense.

A few weeks ago, I found myself grabbing drinks with a girl I met on a dating app. She was pretty cute, a career girl through and through. While texting beforehand, she mentioned she had been working weekends and late nights, but she still made time to meet me on a Sunday evening after another 8-hour day in an 80-hour work week.

I arranged for her to meet me in my area at a lounge just a five-minute walk from my place.

I ran a great game over drinks. We were laughing and vibing at a high energy level the whole time; we talked about Fifty Shades of Grey and sex for a bit, I shared some adventurous stories, and we developed a passionate energy. Forty minutes into it, we got a second round of drinks and I started holding her hand. She was gripping back firmly, and we held hands periodically for twenty minutes. Effectively, she was complying and submitting, and I was firmly in control.

After an hour or so, I suggested we bounce and go grab a snack nearby. She agreed but also said she had to be at a friend’s house in an hour and a half; apparently there was some drama she wanted to clear up. We soon left the lounge holding hands and walking really close.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Do a Street Stop

street stop
There are four (4) ways to meet girls walking on the street: the side stop, the circle stop, the wave stop, and the policeman stop.

You’ve gone out for a stroll on your city streets.

The sunshine’s shining, the birds are chirping, and you’re feeling grand.

Then, you see her: Venus incarnate. A remarkably beautiful woman headed down the street, right to you. You know you have to meet her. There is a pull inside of you that insists on it.

Yet, you can think of no good way to say hi.

She’s striding along, mind on whatever it’s on, not having noticed you one bit.

How can you reach her in a natural, attractive way?

The way you do this is with something called the ‘street stop’; that is, you will quite literally stop her on the street to meet her. There are many different street stops you can use. Today, I’ll give you the four (4) most effective stops I know of. Once you have these at your disposal (and don’t shy away from using them), you’ll be able to meet those stunning girls you see on the street... rather than let them walk on by.

Early 20s Women vs. Late 20s Women: What's the Difference?

early 20s women
Early 20s women are different from women in their late 20s. How they differ makes a big impact on how you date them (and which age you prefer).

When I first started reading and eventually writing for Girls Chase, one of the things that always surprised me was when writers gave their perspective on dating women who were in their late 20s and 30s, and how different it was from dating women who were in their early 20s.

I was in my early 20s at the time – just a student of the game – and I always thought that older guys were exaggerating the differences just a few years can make. But now that I am older and have dated a few women in their late 20s and 30s, I’ve found that perhaps the men who have written about this phenomenon in the past have actually underestimated how stark these differences can get.

So that’s what I’m here to explore today.

But first, let me add a disclaimer: everything that I’m going to discuss with respect to mindset versus age is just a set of general guidelines designed to be a useful framework.

I know there will be exceptions, and I just want to say that I hear you. I have definitely been with girls who fall outside of the norm. I’ve dated younger girls who have had the dispositions of 45 year olds. And I’ve dated women in their mid thirties who have been nowhere close to having their acts together. But out of the thousands of dates that I’ve been on, these trends are definitely what I’ve seen in the majority of cases.

How to Start Dating Again After You've Been Away from the Game

start dating again
It can be tough to start dating again once you’ve been away from the game. To do it, check your ego, switch off the porn, go out with an excited wing, and you’ll be set.

In the last year, I’ve taken a hiatus from writing for Girls Chase, but the reason I’ve done that is because I haven’t been doing much dating.

I’ve been focusing on other areas of my life and have let my dating life atrophy.

Now I am getting back into the swing of things and I have noticed some friction points that are keeping me from being successful with women. So I am going to write this post about how to get back into the flow of dating, what to expect, and how to deal with internal resistance.