Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: Hugs, Handclasps, and Arm-on-Shoulders

Today’s article will focus on three different forms of touch for use in similar situations (mostly as greetings... hello and goodbye):

  • Hugs
  • Handclasps (note: not handshakes)
  • And your arm on (or around) her shoulder

With each tactic, we’ll look at when these work best, when they can backfire, how exactly to use them, and what their pros and cons are.

So get yourself into a touchy-feely mood and let’s get to it.

Why You Absolutely Need to Commit

Every day I read questions on different forums saying things like “I love this girl so much, what should I do?” This kind of question irritates me. It irritates me because you can’t love something you aren’t committed to. I don’t care what kind of fantasy you have in your head, if you haven’t made a move on her, you don’t love her. Why? Because if you actually strongly desired her you would have made a move; you would have committed yourself to a certain course of action.

commit to getting laid

Our culture has become obsessed with thinking and not doing. We obsess over the fantasy of doing something great but rarely commit ourselves to doing great things. Invariably, every guy I’ve met who is good with women knows how to commit. I’m not talking about being exclusive, I’m talking about acting on his desires.

Many guys have passion only in the mind, but their lives are listless. This indecisiveness disgusts women. The higher the quality to the woman, the lower her tolerance will be for listlessness. The indecisiveness that plagues this generation comes from the fact that we have so much information at our disposal. Data that supports both sides of every argument. Many men look for proof before they act, and that may work well in science but it is a horrible way of going about bedding beautiful women.

This post will be part practical advice and part philosophical treatise. I will begin with the practical advice and then move to the more theoretical elements on my philosophy of commitment.

How Her Childhood Influences Her Adult Relationship with You

Master Teacher You, who was forty-three years younger than the Master, said, “Being a person who is lovingly obedient toward his parents and who models himself on his elders, and being at the same time someone who is bent on defying his superiors, that’s unlikely. Being a person who is not bent on defying his superiors, but who has a passion for stirring up confusion and disorder, that doesn’t happen, either.”
– The Analects of Confucius, 1:2, translated by David R. Schiller

We’ve talked on here about crazy girls before, and about narcissistic women and women with more extreme personality disorders.

Today I want to talk about where the seeds of many of the troublesome behaviors you’ll encounter in some women begin – namely, in the relationships they had with their mothers and fathers during childhood.

It’s not dwelt on too often in the dating advice community, but an individual’s family background and upbringing has tremendous follow-on effects that ripple down through the rest of her life, molding her relationships into something that mirrors the model she learned early on.

her childhood

And that means that when it comes to predicting how a woman will behave – and especially, what kind of girlfriend she’ll make – you must pay close attention to how she grew up.

Her Intentions Tell You Just What to Do with Her

Women are constantly putting things you say into categories. They are looking at what you say not only for content but for what you’re trying to get across too.

  • “He said that because he’s trying to show off that he’s smart.”
  • “He told me that because he’s trying to get me alone.”

Most guys are unaware of this layer of communication, which leads to them making clumsy mistakes. But I’m not writing this article to talk about the clumsy mistakes you might be making in conversation, I’m writing this article for you to learn how to look at conversations the same way a woman does.


Adding this layer will make it easier for you to see why women say some of the things they do. It will also help you give a woman exactly what she wants, when she wants it (which is the fastest way to get what you want). At the end of this article, I share a painful story that was the catalyst for me writing this.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Make Her Kiss You Back

Note from Chase: This is our first article from Francesco Toggianini, our first contributor from Italy. Francesco’s joining us for a four-article series trial, and if you like his articles and he keeps the quality up, we will bring him on as a regular contributor. Here’s Francesco, with his first article, on getting her to kiss you back.

The title of the article itself contains an important implication: you go for the kiss first, and then the girl kisses you back. It is your job to make the first move. Forget about this truth, and you’ve forgotten about the most important quality of a man: leading the interaction.

make her kiss you

Most of the results I’ve achieved in this game have come after I realized the overall importance of leading, and started to apply that insight infield. Leading could be the subject of an entire new article, but today we are talking about kisses and make-outs, so let’s dive a bit deeper into that.

Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women

seduction leadership“Get up.

“Stand up for just a second.

“Step over here please, I want to show you something.

“Okay, now turn around – eh! Not so fast. Turn around slowly.

“Hmm, okay, you’ll do. So tell me how this friend screwed you over exactly.”

Ever wonder why leading women and getting investment from them is such a lynchpin of seduction?

In all honesty, you can take a woman who’s completely unattracted to you, and if you can get her to follow your lead well enough, you can take her to bed and take her as your lover. I’ve done it plenty of times.

It’s nice when she’s into you. But it’s nice to know you’ve got options too, even when she isn’t.

However, if you don’t understand why leading like this, and getting buy-in and compliance like this is so crucially important to your success rate with girls, you’re going to miss a lot of opportunities to use it where you really should be using it.

So why’s it so vital?

14 Ways to Use Sexual Transmutation for Fun and Profit

One of the most powerful drives a man has – perhaps, arguably, the most powerful drive he has – is his sex drive.

Your sex drive is a complicated piece of physiological machinery. It’s partly controlled by your hormones (testosterone is its primary driver in men), though also partly controlled by, of all things, your social status and sexual experience (or at least, this is the case in rhesus macaques, not too far distant from us on the primate family tree).

Various things impact your testosterone and can lower it; a messy sleep cycle, certain diets, even emotionally supportive relationships can bring it down (so you may have to choose between a raging sex drive and fulfilling relationships). See my article on the winner effect if you want to read more about testosterone.

However, the male sex drive is good for more than just sex.

sexual transmutation

Your sex drive also powers your aggression, your ambition, and your motivation.

And the more you tap into and learn to channel it, to access the power of sexual transmutation, the more you can turn yourself into whatever man you aspire to be.

Quit Ignoring Your Sexual Intuition

I’ve tried to pin down what separates guys who have success with women and guys who don’t. I’ve come to the conclusion that guys who have good game have better intuition when it comes to women.

They notice the escalation windows, they know when to go for the kiss, and they know how to get her to bed. Naturals act on this intuition naturally. Guys like me had to earn through repeated failure and reading literature on the subject.

This article will break down how to develop a natural’s sexual intuition.


Will Netflix and Chill Actually Get You Sex?

2015’s most popular humorous way to suggest a girl coming over to your place to hook up has been the phrase ‘Netflix and chill’, mostly used to joke about hooking up online, like so:

Netflix and chill

Netflix and chill

Netflix and chill

So, as we’re concerned on this site with what actually works, two questions then:

  1. Should you ever use ‘Netflix and chill’, or any other trendy line like this?

  2. How good are humorous/trendy lines at getting girls back to your place?

This post will answer both.

The 5 Factors of Successfully Picking Up Girls

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing great.

Recently I have posted A LOT of practical posts - covering techniques and tactics in addition to some real life situations of me in the field. I haven't posted any theoretical posts in a long time. Although I prefer the practical element of seduction - I find them more interesting and useful - I still believe some theory can help you understand how this all fits together.


Note that I will still give you some practical examples when explaining this theoretical model though - so for those of you who like to read practical stuff, there will be plenty of goodies in here for you as well.

Today I would like to discuss 5 key factors that I believe have an effect on whether you will get the girl or not.

The key factors are:

Some of these factors can sometimes affect one another (but not necessarily). Everything in seduction is more or less connected. This is why understanding the whole picture is key in order to succeed at this.

Now, understand this before I move on: nothing when it comes to seduction is static. This means that any of the factors listed above are prone to change any minute. However, there are no guarantees that they will do so - and sometimes you simply cannot do much about a particular situation.

There are 3 things you can do to affect these 5 factors:

  • Directly affecting it - with your pick-up and seduction skills (such as affecting her mood - which is what seduction is primarily all about)

  • Move on, drop it, and meet new women. Oftentimes, this is the best solution (if you've persisted 3 times and you are still getting nowhere, better move on)

  • Focus on another key factor and hope that the changes that you might trigger on one factor will bypass any difficulty (so let us say that both your and her logistics sucks, then if you manage to get her so horny - to the point of no return - logistics will not matter anymore)

Anyway, I do not expect you to get all this right away. If anything is unclear so far, that is totally fine, because I will use the rest of this post to explain everything above in more depth, followed by some examples. Hopefully, by the end of this post, everything becomes clearer for you.

Let's get on with it.