Tactics Tuesdays

What if you could read a girl’s mind? It’s possible to get inside anyone’s head – but you’ve got to know the techniques.

It is uncanny how some people seem unnaturally good at getting into your head. They can understand your needs and wants. Know when you are feeling a certain way. And do it as if they possess a weird sixth sense that lends a window into your mind.

Sometimes it makes you wonder if these people are born with a special ability.

But, as cool as that sounds, I do not believe in ESP.

What these so-called mind readers are incorporating – either consciously or subconsciously – is a set of techniques that allow them that extra edge. What are these techniques, and how can you master them?

Through my adolescent years I was caught in a social fog, unable to read people or their feelings, let alone their thoughts. I struggled and grasped at seemingly nothing, trying to find a firm hold on what was going on around me. Interactions with my peers seemed to buzz by me in a flurry, and I just could not keep up no matter how hard I tried.

People utterly baffled me. After several years, amazing mentorships, and loads of experience, I can say now that I am no longer that confused kid. Now a veteran seductionist, I am in the top percentile of social acuity. But it is not because I was born this way. It is because of the tricks and interactions I have accumulated in my five plus years picking up women.

With this learned knowledge and skill, I can cold read someone with 85-90 percent accuracy using what I am about to teach you.

Natural and nightclub bouncer, A2daMIR wielded a unique and masterful approach to seduction... Focused on turning the tables on girls.

One of the all-time best posters on the now-defunct mASF seduction forum was a guy named A2daMIR. A2daMIR was a Boston-based nightclub bouncer who routinely pulled off brilliant pickups... Typically with hot and bitchy girls. His ribald sexual humor was one of my inspirations for chase framing, but he has tech beyond just innuendo.

A2daMIR long claimed that his success came from having big muscles. He worked out hard for a number of years to build a ripped body, and after he reached a certain point, that’s when he noted his sexual results began to shoot up. Yet if you ask me, it was A2daMIR’s brain, not his body, that was the biggest factor in his success with girls. I’ve seen tons of extremely muscular men with dog-ugly girls, and had one of the most muscular guys I’ve ever known (this guy was absolutely HUGE) break down in tears to me about how he was never going to find a girl. A2daMIR had something these other muscle-bound guys didn’t.

Which is not to rag on muscles (muscles are great). If you have the time to build them, muscles are a real boon, although the greatest boon seems to be the intimidation factor they have on other men, and your own feeling of confidence to be ballsy and asshole-ish (when you choose to be) without having to worry about getting clobbered by some meathead who doesn’t like what you have to say. Perhaps also your sex drive; lifting hard and heavy over a sustained amount of time generates huge amounts of testosterone (and the sex drive to match). Muscles also have a certain curiosity factor for most girls, girls do find them attractive, and certain women have ‘muscle fetishes’ (the same way some guys like girls with huge breasts, or big behinds, or muscular legs, etc.). However, these are beside the point.

In this article, I’m going to introduce you to what I view as A2daMIR’s most defining signature: his ability to maintain his frame with hot, bitchy, defiant girls, in a way that both turns the tables on them and draws them in at the same time.

And to illustrate this, I’m going to use excerpts from a couple of reports of his... And break down the tactics he uses.

How to approach a girl eating alone – you must disarm her concerns of awkwardness first. Then you turn the tables.

This one’s a bit niche. But hey, I just covered a very broad topic (in great detail!) yesterday in my how to get a girlfriend article. So I think I can tackle a specific one here.

On our discussion boards, forum member CuriosityKillsTheCat asks:

“I’ve approached girls eating many times. It was difficult. Most of the time she had to stop and talked with me. Also I hadn’t find a way to move her to another place. Phone numbers were 100% flake.

Do you guys approach girls eating? My school’s cafeteria has many girls sitting alone eating there. I might miss out big opportunities.”

(here’s his forum thread on this)

It seems like a simple one to solve: she’s by herself, just go talk to her. Right?

Except it’s a little more complicated than that. Try it out, and you’ll find it’s often a bit awkward and a little intrusive to approach a girl who’s seated alone, eating her meal. You can make her feel trapped, and if there are ample places to sit, you look like you’re chasing her if you go all the way over to her. There are plenty of snares here for you to fall into.

Is there a way to consistently approach girls alone in large cafeterias (or elsewhere), and have it go well?

What happens if you just aren’t getting anywhere with girls? Should you grind it out? No – instead, enter the tactical reset.

Have you ever seen those a guy who tries to learn game, but no matter what, he just can’t get results?

He could spend months – or in the extreme, years – and never progress beyond getting phone numbers from girls (that never lead to dates) or make-outs with them (that never lead to sex).

Hopefully, you haven’t experienced anything quite so bad (the worst-case guys do seem to be a small minority). But maybe you’ve seen some flavor of this... You’ve hit a plateau, tried to grind it out, and just nothing was working. How do you deal with these situations?

In today’s article, I’m going to share with you the approach I’ve found most helpful for resolving this issue: it’s what I call a ‘tactical reset’.

Before we get to that though, let’s talk about why these hang-ups happen.

When you start to change your appearance or behavior, people can call you fake. Or you might even feel fake. Yet with Practice Mentality, you can avoid all this.

In my August article on seven major dating mistakes, a reader asks about people who view (or attack) self-improvement efforts or general behavior as ‘being fake’ or ‘not being real’:

“This is regarding barriers to improving fundamentals and improving your life in general:

Did you notice how people label any potential improvement as fake? If they improve, they think, people won’t like them for who they are and that’s bad. For people who have had advantages for a long time it seems like a natural part of them.

For example:

– Someone who is fat thinks that if he loses weight and women start liking him more, then they don’t like him for who he really is. They are just a bunch of superficial cunts. But, if you’ve been thin for a long time, it seems like a part of you.

– If you dress poorly, improving your fashion will seem as fake. Who cares how you dress? People should like you for who you are. But, those who dress well will tell you it’s just a part of them – part of who they are.

– Being famous or wealthy and getting great results with women also seems fake to many people (99.999% of people don’t have access to fame or great wealth). So, you’ll hear terms like ‘fame-digger’ or ‘gold-digger’ used to describe those superficial women who like rock stars, football players or bankers/CEOs.

– The same goes for learning ‘game’. If you’re learning it, then you’re just a fake manipulator.

etc.

What do you think about this phenomenon? Is it even real or am I delusional?”

Well, first off, this is absolutely a genuine phenomenon, and it’s something every man who sits down to improve himself in one dimension or another encounters.

You start to change something about yourself, and somebody calls you fake. Or you see others change their reactions toward you as you change superficial details about yourself, and you decide they are fake. Or maybe you even look at your outward displays, deem them nothing like whom you are on the inside, and label yourself a fake.

I’m going to talk briefly about why people view people engaged in self-improvement as fake, and then I’m going to give you a useful mindset I’ve long used to not have to worry about this.

I call it the ‘Practice Mentality’. But we’ll get to that.

Our society trains men to be helpless, for several of its own reasons. But it’s important you know helplessness is learned... not inborn.

Learned helplessness is the behavior shift that occurs when an animal or individual decides its situation is impossible to change. At this point, the individual decides he is helpless to affect the outcome, and simply gives up trying.

Some of the most tragic stories of crushed spirits come when you discuss learned helplessness. Animals who’ve been caged so long they won’t try to leave even if you leave their cage doors open. Prisoners who aren’t able to operate outside the penal system, so commit crimes to go back to the familiar comfort of the prison yard. And men who’ve been unsuccessful with women so long they don’t even try to meet them.

In a recent popular thread on our Beginners’ Forum, a forum member starts off by asking why women like dominant men and men who take the lead. But it quickly becomes clear his real issue is not a philosophical question of why women prefer dominant men, but an exploration of his desire for women, yet lack of motivation to take steps to meet, date, and sleep with them.

This article will not be about why girls desire dominance and leadership, per se. If you’d like more on those topics, see these articles:

• How to Be a Dominant Man: What You Didn’t Know About the ‘Winner Effect’

• A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership

• Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women

• The Real Reason Many Men Can’t Get a Girl

Rather, this article will be about the phenomenon of learned helplessness in the modern male – where it comes from, who’s responsible for it, and what you can do to shake it off.

You’ve met a girl, it’s going fine, and then you just... Eject, too soon. You leave too early. You beat yourself up about it later – but what could you have done then?

Want a simple way to get more success out of your dates, courtships, pickups, etc.?

Here it is: don’t eject so fast.

Early ejection plagues beginners in seduction. And the wound is a self-inflicted one.

This sound at all familiar?:

You got up the nerve to approach a girl. She’s cute. Real cute. Your heart rate is going 200 beats per minute. And it’s going okay. She smiled when you walked up, she said “hello”, and now she’s responding to your questions and asking you some back. You make a light joke and she laughs. Yet the pressure just builds and builds. Finally, you excuse yourself: “All right, well, it was nice to meet you!” And then you leave.

You didn’t ask her out; you didn’t take her phone number. Things were going okay, but then you bailed. You had to hit the eject button.

Why does this happen? Well, fear, mostly.

What can you do about it? Well, we’re going to talk about that.