Tactics Tuesdays

Byronic flaws make a man more interesting, and much more bondable in courtships and relationships. Yet there’s an art to revealing them that many men often get wrong...

I recently worked with a hard case guy on a repeated relationship problem he has. Periodically, his relationships fail, inexplicably to him, with every woman he dates peeling off and wanting out.

He's been unable to understand why, but with this latest girl she gave him a lot of very clear feedback, that also mirrors feedback he's gotten from other girlfriends, as well as mirrors my own feeling personally with him.

That feedback was this:

That the girl, despite six months of trying to peel back his layers, was never able to get to know the real him. She feels like, after six months of attempts, she's still right back where she started with him, and is tired of trying.

This is a guy who, in most on-paper respects, should be a desirable guy. He's tall, accomplished, has good fundamentals, and good game. He's well-nigh unshakeable in his frame and is relentlessly optimistic (without being unrealistic). He's an ex-military man and is tough-as-nails, yet is also a religious man and is caring and intelligent, if sometimes not always totally attuned to why a woman is doing what she's doing.

What I realized on looking at how this latest girlfriend quit the relationship is that he isn't letting women peel his layers back properly, and this is causing women to feel like they don't even really know him.

Which in turn causes those women to feel like failures, then causes them to leave.

What I said to him was, "You need to help women peel your layers back properly. You might also need to get more comfortable yourself showing people more of whom you are underneath your armor."

Dominant, sexually attractive men take up space in their environments and touch the things around them. They look cool, comfortable, and confident where they are.

I was at the gym yesterday (my condolences to those of you in areas where they have barred your gyms and locked you in your homes). In between workouts I was doing my usual arm movements to stay limber, or leaning on equipment/benches for a breather.

I noticed a lot of guys in between sets would just kind of stand around, or maybe sit somewhere. The effect was I ended up commanding more of the space around me than these guys commanded around them.

This wasn't something I was doing intentionally. I don't really care if people think I'm an ALPHA MALE in the gym. The gym I go to is fairly hardcore and there aren't a lot of women there (so it's not like I'll be picking up there... though I do also like gyms that are good for pickup).

The observation got me thinking about something I always tell guys to work on with their fundamentals, but hadn't talked about in a while: take up space and touch things in your environment.

This is something that all dominant men do, usually without thought.

It is a very visible cue to a man's personal feeling of comfort in and control over his environment. You can just look at whether a guy is doing this to very rapidly figure out how 'at home' he is wherever he is and whether he feels like it's 'his' environment.

Women look at this too, and it influences their attraction to you.

Your first time in bed goes a long way toward determining whether a woman sees you again. But it’s not about your technical performance. It’s about how you make her feel.

I'm seeing a lot of cases recently where guys are laying girls, giving mediocre performances in bed, then not being able to get those girls out again.

They message them for a while, and the girls message back less and less enthusiastically, less and less frequently.

Eventually these girls drop off their radars altogether.

There are some common themes I'm seeing in both why these girls drop off and why the guys in question can't get them back.

I started this article wanting to talk about follow-up strategies, and I may get around to that.

But as I got into it, it occurred to me that really the core problem is how guys are behaving with women in the bedroom.

So instead, in today's article, I want to give the reader some tactics he can use to reverse this trend in his own seductions, in the bedroom, and retain more of the women he takes to bed.

Barriers are a way to set up small 'walls' a woman must climb with you. In climbing these small walls, you can make a girl start to chase you.

The other day in my article on the click moment I mentioned the use of barriers.

Barriers are a tactic I've touched on only a bit before (in my article from long ago on being a challenge to women).

Today I want to go a lot more in-depth about this powerful technique.

If you're not using barriers, you're missing out on an outstanding tool to get the women you talk to chasing you.

So let's get you using them.

How do you handle a girl who's a tease? Well, simple… you tease her back (and get her to chase).

How do you handle the girl who's a genuine tease?

If you do nightlife, you'll meet those girls who are hot but also extraordinarily flirtatious teases. They come up to you, act flirtatious, seem interested, then turn cold and walk off.

15 minutes later they're back flirting with you again. Then a little while after they're off being cold again. You see them flirting with another guy. Then they're back flirting with you. Then off flirting with him again.

These girls thrive on the drama of feeling desired and feeling the power of being able to confuse and mesmerize.

They live in the nightlife scene and have figured out that pitting multiple men against each other for their affections even if indirectly is extremely powerful. They understand once a guy is sucked in he'll watch them, and he will see them flirt with another guy.

They know that there's nothing he can do at that point but watch, helpless, as she flits back and forth between him and the other guy (or guys).

Or... perhaps there's something he can?

Today I'll show you how to run a sort of game I call 'tease-tease game' -- which is, basically, way to tease the teases to the point they zeroed in on you.

First though, let's take a look at how guys usually respond to girls who are 'cockteases'.

Here's a nice little tactic to get girls you meet and go on dates with to follow your lead and view you as an authority figure: teach them to do things.

One major attraction switch for women is male authority.

If you can show yourself to be an authority to women, they desire you more.

In particular, if you establish yourself as an authority over a woman, she will desire you a lot.

There are numerous ways to establish yourself as an authority in a woman's world... but one of the easiest is to teach her things.

For this Tactics Tuesday, we'll discuss tactically teaching girls things to bring them under your authoritative spell.

I'll agree, but on these terms… That's the gist of a compliance swap: you agree to what she asks of you, but propose something of your own in return.

Sometimes a woman insists on doing something a certain way and there's no good way out of it for you.

Sometimes you have to travel a far distance to meet her, and it's unrealistic to get her to come to you.

Sometimes she's getting pulled along with a group of people and your only shot with her is to tag along, but in so doing you risk looking like a follower.

How can you maintain a modicum of a leadership role and keep her compliance up even as you invest in things yourself?

With a compliance swap!

This neat little tactic gives you the power back in seemingly powerless situations... and can even make the dice roll your way.