Fundamentals

Apologies if you haven't seen me on here much recently. I'm working on a few new things that should help you take your game to the next level; the first one due out is a book on relationships that I'm really thrilled with the development on. I'm aiming for it to be as complete a book on relationships as How to Make Girls Chase is for pick up, and I have some truly outside-the-box thinking in it that I've developed through my own personal relationships and through advising a number of friends and clients on their own, and that I haven't seen or heard anywhere else.

Anyway, I wanted to take a break from all the big project stuff and stop by here with a few of the things I've been working on lately. Today's blog post is a monster, at over 5,000 words, on something called "ego depletion." As you get better with some of the more advanced techniques from this blog and from the programs available here, you're going to start experiencing more and more of this, as one of the downsides to efficient and effective pick up.

If you're familiar with a sales tactic called "hard selling," you know that, even when people know what this is, it still works a lot of the time. You also know from this site that the hard sell can be a useful seduction technique - but that it's not without its drawbacks. And the chief among those drawbacks is ego depletion, and the after-the-fact effect it can lead to: buyer's remorse.

Buyer's remorse is, of course, when you make some headway with a girl - she gives you her phone number, kisses you, fools around with you, or sleeps with you - and then she disappears, never to be seen again, or (sometimes) suddenly acts coldly toward you in social situations. Coldness can also be caused by auto-rejection, but there's one important difference:

• Buyer's remorse is what you get when a girl feels like you made her go too far, whereas
• Auto-rejection is what you get when a girl feels like you didn't take her far enough.

Mildly confused? Great. Confusion's the stage that immediately precedes learning something that will prove, hopefully, rather useful.

So let's talk willpower, decisions, buyer's remorse, auto-rejection, and ego depletion - and let's discuss how you can avoid shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to forming a relationship with a girl you really like.

Note from Chase: when Ricardus first showed me this piece - an 11,000-word masterpiece he called "The X-Factor in Game" - I was blown away. He's got so much solid, sound, incredible stuff packed in here - I told him he completely outdid himself, and he did. I've broken this piece up into five separate parts - more manageable to read than trying to digest the whole thing in one sitting - and renamed it to "How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor." Hope he won't begrudge me the re-titling.

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Some guys just have it… an apparently magical vibe, a charisma and vibrancy; a form of personal magnetism that draws people magically to them… and that makes them irresistibly attractive to women, able to pick up girls seemingly effortlessly and make girlfriends out of the most desirable women around.

The question is… what exactly is this vibe? It seems very hard to define, to nail down or even to emulate… which is why I call it the “X-Factor”.

In fact, it is so hard to quantify in precise terms that women often say about the guys who have it: “I just don’t know what it is about him.” And the French even go so far as calling this vibe the “je-ne-sais-quoi” – in English: the “I don’t know what.”

Let’s see if we can do a little bit better than that!

Read on.

Something you'll notice I don't talk about a great deal on this site is the concept of "value." It's an old seduction community idea I find generally wracked with all kinds of faulty mentalities, leading to misunderstandings of what generate attraction and positive relationships. Still, when approached through the proper lens, I find that the concepts of value and attraction can be used in a way that better your odds and success rates with women.

Why don't I like the old ideas of value? Because, I think, generally speaking, men take completely the wrong approach to value. They try to inflate their value by focusing on all the wrong things - things they think women value (e.g., cars, dinner dates, or even fantastic, bragging-style stories). I've seen plenty of the old-school pick up artist guys who go around telling out-sized stories about how incredible they are, but the only people impressed are low status women - and, of course, those old school pick up artists' devotees.

But you don't learn how to attract women by over-inflating your value. You learn it by showing your value in the right way.

In this excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, I introduce you to the concept of "shown value" - and what the difference is between it, and why it's so important to understand. It just might make the difference between you feeling dejected after a girl walks away from you, as valuable as you think you were coming across - and understanding how to handle a girl rejecting you (hint: it's not really you, it's your game).

Good posture is one of those things it's easy to overlook -- how often do you examine your posture, for instance? But it has a tremendous impact on how others view you -- so much that you might be amazed, in fact.

Our excerpt today is on how to recognize and use good posture, from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams. Posture's a fundamental -- it's something that many men forget to work on when improving themselves with women, but it has large and continuous impacts on your development and success rates with the opposite sex.

If you haven't given much thought to posture before, I'll start you off with an example that'll snap you right into seeing how important having good posture really is...

Once upon a time, I sat in a college dorm room wondering how to attract women.

I mean, in high school I'd had them chasing after me, at least some of the time, but then I went to university and that all disappeared. Coupled with my lack of social skills, I soon found myself both alone, and un-pursued.

So, I tried anything I could think of. I got into music and performed on-stage. I made myself stand out however I could in my classes. I started peacocking with flashy clothes and accessories. I even tried buying pheromones from the Internet -- the jury's still out if that did me any good.

But despite those efforts, I still didn't have any women in my life. Some of it got me noticed -- a lot of pretty girls were paying a lot of attention to me. But was I attracting them? Here's how Dictionary.com defines the word:

“Attract: to draw by appealing to the emotions or senses, by stimulating interest, or by exciting admiration; allure; invite: to attract attention; to attract admirers by one's charm.”

Well, they may have been interested, but they certainly weren't around me too much. So, at best, maybe I was part of the way there.

Most men, I discovered, find themselves in the same boat. They try a bunch of things, not sure what, exactly, it is that'll work best at getting women attracted... only to keep realizing that the things they're trying aren't working as well as they'd hoped. Anywhere near as well as they'd hoped. Some guys even all but lose hope entirely.

How I learned to be a man who knew how to attract women and inspire them to chase him and pursue him and desire him is the story I want to share with you here.

Furthermore, I want you to avoid the scenario I was in, of having to figure this mostly out from scratch -- so I'm going to give you 7 tips you can start using right now, today, to get yourself becoming more attractive to women.

Without further ado: How to Attract Women: The Guide.

A topic that I know a lot of guys struggle with is touch. It's something I don't think to discuss terribly often -- touch, while I had to learn it like everything else, came pretty fast to me and was relatively second nature for me early on, so I never got to thinking about it so much as other things -- but touching women is incredibly important to your success with them.

As I've broken it down for myself, there are several different ways of going about touching women you can employ -- different categorizations of the manner of physical contact you can have with girls. Touch from each of the categories is conducted a little differently from touch in all the other categories, and each has its own effects.

The excerpt I have for you today is from my eBook, How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams. I've teased out the 4 ways to touch women here for your perusal, to get you thinking about touch in a newer, sharper, and more effective way...

“There are all manner of ways of touching women. We’ll categorize these here, and describe each kind and give examples of ways you might touch in each category. These should get you primed for getting increasingly physical in the right ways.

What's the best way to pick up girls? You might be surprised by what can influence a woman's receptiveness... even something like being on birth control or not.

A fascinating study, "Relationship satisfaction and outcome in women who meet their partner while using oral contraception," was several days ago published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B. Researchers from the UK decided to look at the differences in women who began dating men while on birth control, and those who started dating men when they weren't on birth control.

What they found was this:

“Women who used OC scored lower on measures of sexual satisfaction and partner attraction, experienced increasing sexual dissatisfaction during the relationship, and were more likely to be the one to initiate an eventual separation if it occurred. However, the same women were more satisfied with their partner's paternal provision, and thus had longer relationships and were less likely to separate.”

In other words, using birth control (or oral contraception -- "OC") leads to women ending up with men they're less attracted to, are sexually dissatisfied with, increasingly become more sexually dissatisfied with as the relationship progresses, and the women more often are the ones to call the relationship off eventually. On the plus side, the men women on birth control end up with usually make better husbands and fathers, and their relationships lasted an average of two years longer.

The flip side of this is that women off birth control choose to mate and date with sexy men -- men they find more attractive, who give them better sex, and who they're less likely to initiate a breakup with -- but the breakups still happened, on average two years earlier than the men women met while on contraception. And it's more often the men doing the breaking up -- likely because these are more attractive men with more options with women who don't like staying tied down too long.

The reason for these huge differences in dating preferences -- why women on the pill are ending up with nice guys they're unsatisfied with but who make good dads, and why women off the pill end up with sexy guys they're excited by but who break up with them -- comes down to what the pill does chemically to women's brains -- and that works out to be some interesting stuff. Read on if you dare...