Seduction

I’ve been on innumerable first dates over the years. And I’ve coached all sorts of students through limitless more dates. And if there’s one thing you find out, it’s that the first date is absolutely, inescapably crucial to how things play out the rest of the courtship.

The first date is a make-or-break event. Hit a homer on the date, and the rest is pretty magical.

A great first date makes your date partner comply more with you (she does what you ask of her). It causes her to cut you more slack (i.e., she’ll let you get away with more). And it piques her interest in you (now she wants where things go with her and you!).

But there’s plenty of opportunity to botch the first date, too. And a lot of folks do, a lot of the time. There’s all this uncertainty: you don’t know your date well yet (certainly not as well as you’ll know her later on... if all goes well). You don’t know what she likes, what she’ll respond to... what ‘does it’ for her. You might think you do – but you don’t. Not yet.

Even if you’ve known her a while, well... people have their ‘social selves’, which is what they present to their friends and acquaintances. Getting her on a date is about getting past this social self (and finding out whom she really is).

On top of it all, you may not be all that sure what to do with your date, what to discuss, or where to take her. So in addition to all the question marks of your date herself, there is also the question mark of the date.

And the more question marks there are, the rougher things get.

In this article we’ll look at 11 of the most fatal mistakes you can make on first dates.

But don’t worry – we’ll also talk about how to avoid those mistakes, to make your first dates go as smooth as butter (and make your date melt like butter while she’s out with you, too).

You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with them. This means you need to know how to read her signals, punish/reward, persist, and more.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.

A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:

“Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...

For instance, on a macro level:

How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:

How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?”

These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.

This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.

First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!

That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.

When your words, actions, and moves aren’t timed right, it all feels wrong and incongruous. Yet when the timing is right, everything becomes magic.

When a comedian makes a joke, even if it’s a spectacular joke, if the timing is wrong, nobody laughs.

Usually on Girls Chase we talk about timing in the context of:

• Escalation windows
• General calibration
• Moving faster
  

Yet timing snakes its tendrils through everything you do with women. Timing matters in your opens. Timing matters when you ask for investment. Timing matters at transition points. Timing matters during the pull, the kiss, and the escalation to intimacy.

If your timing is off, everything in your process will be off. You’ll fly blind through the courtship, trying this here and that there. Timing, you will notice if you observe enough guys in action, often is the Achilles’s heel of many men who work hard in seduction but reap few rewards. When you see such guys, your frequent reaction will be “Why is he doing that then? He should’ve done that 10 minutes ago!” or “Why is he saying this now? She’s not ready for that yet!”

We’re going to tackle timing in two ways today.

The first is to give you a rough sequence of events a courtship progresses through.

The second is to give you a couple signs to watch out for to let you calibrate your timing no matter where you’re at with her.

Some guys will tell you to get a beautiful girl, treat her the same as any girl. Good advice, but it’s worth keeping in mind: she isn’t, actually, the same as any girl.

Uh, yeah. Duh.

But every so often, I’ll hear some guy say something like “You should just treat that girl like she’s a 7.”

To an extent, I agree, but that doesn’t mean that if you walk up to any stunner on the street and treat her like you would any other girl, you’re automatically going to sleep with her.

Your initial cockiness might intrigue her and get you to the hook point, but very quickly she’s going to find out if you’re really as good as you pretend to be. And if you’re not her superior, she will quickly expose you.

Tight game in general should be hard to say. That’s for good reason: while flashy game can be attractive, it can also attract a lot of unwanted attention.

Last week, we discussed the difficulties one may face in perceiving tight game – the elements involved and the ability to spot guys who are truly good with women. We also discussed some of the key elements that constitute true mastership compared to simple flash. And no, mastership is not about having that super-crazy routine or having girls react crazily over your approach; rather, it is about calibrating smoothly, making good calls, having your timing in check, and being able to handle logistics.

In this post, we will discuss “why” tight game should not be easily perceived. What are the benefits of being low key? Why is it a good thing that nobody sees you as the player guy? Keep on reading, because I believe this is a key subject that can’t be covered enough. It may have a direct impact on your dating and pick-up success.

Must you be an expert on women to excel with them? Of course not… yet there are different kinds of expertise, and they have different effects on your odds with women.

I have a lot of fun building mental models of how other folks think, feel, and act that are as accurate as I can get them. As you may notice from comments by female readers on some of my articles, I’m generally pretty on-the-mark.

Yet something I found myself thinking about recently was “How well do you actually need to understand women to date them and bed them?”

It’s an interesting question. And not as easy to answer as you might think... because there are different kinds of “understanding women”, and different kinds of “doing well with women.”

There are plenty of “flashy” seducers out there. Flashy doesn’t always (or even often) mean good though. Instead, look for these 6 signs a guy’s got talent with women.

Is it possible to tell whether somebody has good game?

Say you are out with a guy and want to determine whether he’s someone you should learn game from. Or maybe you saw a guy do something you found cool, and you want to determine whether it is working to get him laid. What are the signs that really define whether someone is good, not so good, or downright bad?

It’s pretty easy to spot people who are really bad with women, but finding those who are good is actually harder than one may think. Some people tend to be amazed by certain guys when they’re not actually amazing at all.