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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

How to Be Certain, Part 3: Appearing Certain

Hector Castillo's picture

how to appear certain
You won’t always be certain. But you need to be able to at least appear certain, when you are in leader-follower (or male-female) situations that demand certainty.

You might have it in your head that you are certain about something, and being certain will help demonstrate certainty. But if your certainty isn’t visible, people will not be fully sold on your certainty, and thus not follow you as wholeheartedly. In seduction, even the slightest error can have her questioning your sincerity, confidence, and any other facet of your personality.

In the first article of this series, we covered the three types of certainty (certainty of knowledge, desire, and morality), then we detailed how to become certain in part 2, and now we will cover how to demonstrate certainty.

The Chad Test

Chase Amante's picture

the chad test
If she likes you, but opts not to hook up with you, what does it mean? Why, it means you’ve failed her Chad test – and now she’ll make you wait.

You’re back alone at your place with a girl. What you know about her: she’s adventurous, independent, and, by all indications, probably has been with her fair share of men. Perhaps she’s shared some of her old war stories with you: guys she’s been with, wild hookups she has had, sordid escapades gone by.

For some reason, it feels slightly off. You feel like she likes you, it’s just... her walls are up.

You decide to go for it anyway. She’s near you on the couch, with her body turned slightly away from yours. Her arms are folded, her expression slightly tensed. “Come here, you’re so far away,” you tell her. She scoots a little closer, but she doesn’t seem excited to do it. You put your hand on her chin to turn her face toward yours. She stops you.

“I don’t feel ready for that yet,” she says. You feel let down. After all that talk about all her crazy past hookups... and now she “isn’t ready?”

“I should probably go,” she tells you. You figure she’s blowing you off. And to be honest, you’re not really feeling it yourself either. Her defensiveness has killed any interest in her you had earlier. You walk her to the door. “I had fun,” she says. “We should hang out again soon.” You grunt a response and let her go.

Two weeks later – you haven’t bothered to message her – she texts you, asking what you’re up to and why she hasn’t heard from you. It seems so weird... this girl resisted intimacy when you brought her back, but she still wants to meet up anyway. Why? For what?

Slowly it starts to dawn on you: she likes you... just not enough to make you one of the men she gives it up too fast.

You have, in other words, failed the Chad test.

State Control, Pt. 1: Do You Need to Be "In State" to Pick Up Girls?

Alek Rolstad's picture

state control
State control (your ability to manage the mood you’re in) is vital and powerful for seduction. Yet, like anything, lean on it too much, and it can become a crutch.

In my past article about what makes a good, consistent seducer, I listed a few related traits:

  • The ability to handle logistics

  • Good decision making

  • Good calibration

  • Good timing

  • Awareness

  • State control and cool-headedness

Today I will discuss the last aspect, state control. There is a lot of info regarding this online, and many dating companies are obsessed with notions such as “state” and “inner game.” And even though there is a lot of truth there, I find them to be sometimes overemphasized (meaning, they’re leaving something out).

I do believe having the right mindsets and a positive reality that reinforces seductive behavior is essential. The problem is that your belief system and your inner game, even though attractive, have to somehow be conveyed in order to have an effect. Conveying those traits requires a form of “outer game” – or rather, technical game.

Either way, today’s topic is related to state control. Many seducers are very obsessed with getting in state when meeting and picking up girls. What they refer to is basically getting in the mood. Even though I agree that “feeling it” and generally feeling good (i.e., having energy, feeling confident, and being in a social state as well as a sexual state) is beneficial, I believe aspects of it are exaggerated. I will discuss why I think so, and also how you can keep your head cool in tricky situations.

Tactics Tuesdays: Relaxed Openers in Bars with a Wingman

Chase Amante's picture

relaxed bar opener
The relaxed bar opener lets you meet girls in a bar in a relaxed, natural, sociable way. All you need to do it is a cool wingman, and halfway decent fundamentals.

Much of what we talk about when it comes to cold approach centers on walking up to new women solo and delivering an opener. Often we discuss going out alone to meet girls. Or we might talk about rolling with a wingman, yet treat it as little different from rolling solo; just two guys roving the streets, bars, or parties on the prowl, and when one guy sees a girl he likes the looks of, he goes in.

Today’s article is about a more relaxed approach you can take while out with a wingman in a social venue (bars, parties, nightclubs), that makes it easy for you to meet new girls in a laid back, low pressure way, without looking like the ‘guy on a mission’ who goes around and chats up every available girl.

If you’re new to approaching and want an easy way for you and a friend to transition into chatting up new women, this is a prime candidate for that. Or even if you’re an old hand and simply prefer a more relaxed evening on the town, this approach serves nicely.

Let’s talk about what this approach is.

Don't Let Your Approaches/Courtships Be Adversarial

Chase Amante's picture

adversarial approach
If you get your hackles up, or start to feel defensive, it’s easy to turn adversarial on dates and in conversations. Yet do this, and you will quick run into walls with women...

Here’s an insidious problem it’s easy to overlook.

Sometimes if you hit the bars, or the street, or a party, and your first few approaches don’t go well, and you pick up a couple rejections, you can start to sour on the whole ‘chat up new girls’ thing.

Or sometimes if you have a history of rejection... or you’ve been reading too much anger-inducing content on the Internet... or you’ve just had a terrible day in general... this can happen.

Basically: you start to expect the worst, and either bristle for it, go in adversarially, or both.

And when a woman talks to you, she can feel it: you’re defensive, guarding against rudeness, insult, or dismissal. And/or you’re aggressive, treating her like an opponent whose defenses and objections you must ‘beat’, instead of as a friend you’d like to help lead around those objections (and into bed).

Yet the more adversarial you let your approach become, the worse it will usually do.

You need to not do this to make things work better with girls.

The 8 Types of Orgasm Routine

Alek Rolstad's picture

8 types of orgasm
There are 8 kinds of orgasm a woman can experience. And with this routine, you can communicate your sexual expertise to her – and leave her dripping to hook up with you.

Hey, guys! Today I will post a technique that I have been using since 2009! And it is probably my most successful technique. It’s a real gem, folks! Not only that, but many other skilled seducers I know of have gotten laid with this exact technique over the past year. It truly is a powerhouse.

This will be a long post, but not because there’s too much to remember. I really want to give you every detail and cover the theoretical background and potential pitfalls (and how to avoid them). I’ve also included some good examples as well as good sex talk transitions you can use. Do not get freaked out. That said, this post is best fit for intermediate to advanced seducers. Depending on your level, I will share variations of this technique. I will also suggest, for those of you who are truly advanced, ways you can further spice it up.

Not too long ago, I shared a very detailed report on the forums.

In that thread, a poster named “yash” made the following request:

Could you go more in detail on The 8 Types of Orgasms? I don't think I've seen an article on that ever on the main site, plus I haven't seen it in the boards, but I would love to know the process for how to pull each one of them off.

Yash is right. I haven’t shared it on the main site, which is why I will do it now. Last time I posted it was on mASF in 2010 (the pickup forum back in the day where all the legends were made – a place that no longer exists). So yeah, a revisited version is in order.

The routine (or gambit) was one of my first sex-talk routines, and it is still one of my favorites. When I discovered and wrote down my theory on sexual prizing, I had to make a routine based on it. That was the “8 Types of Orgasm” routine. I have of course made many gambits based on the concept of sexual prizing, but this is the classic version.

Even though I made it when I was 16, it truly rocked my world. Girls would go easily from orange to green… and not just green… I mean they’d go straight luck-o’-the-Irish chartreuse! I used it 2 weekends ago, first on Thursday with a super-hot, introverted, 20-year-old girl who did not show me much attention at first. But she lighted right up after this routine. I used it again Saturday as a 1-shot-1-kill on a 21-year-old chick who literally asked me to take her home right away.

I am about to share something juicy.

First things first. I do not consider this technique super advanced, as I pulled it off successfully when I was intermediate (still with a few failures, which you will not experience that much if you are an advanced player – but again, failures are what transform you into a calibrated seduction master).

With that in mind, let us get on with it.

3 Simple Tips to Make Your Approaches Powerful

Daniel Adebayo's picture

approach tips
Hold your eye contact, don’t approach head-on, and let her see you first: 3 quick, simple, important elements of every good approach.

I’d like to say a few words about approaching women (the very first segment of the seduction process). There’s an abundance of technicalities that concern what needs to be done in the latter parts of the process, but it’s also very important to discuss the specifics of the approach.

Because the way you approach her sets the tone for the entire seduction.

That’s right, approaching her in a sloppy and uncalibrated manner will result in you setting a bad precedent for the entire seduction – something you will probably have to fight uphill and recover from as things progress. And who wants to be doing that when they could instead be delivering the juice to a much more receptive girl?

Therefore, it’s safe to assume that if you approach her correctly, you’ll be taking a necessary first step to ensure that the remainder of the seduction proceeds smoothly.

So here are three (3) tips that will help you avoid some very common slip-ups and get things going in the smoothest way possible.

Tactics Tuesdays: Brushing Off Tough Questions

Chase Amante's picture

brush off questions
You never want to explain yourself to a woman’s tough questions. Yet to brush them off, you need the right tactics – and the right mentality.

We’ve talked about tough questions (which fall under the umbrella of ‘tests’) before. I’ve given you some ways to answer these well, as well as a formula to know how to respond to such challenges (i.e., status and respect). And, perhaps most importantly of all, I cautioned you never to explain yourself to women.

Today we’ll talk about a few specific varieties of challenging questions you can receive (from both men and women... though we’ll focus mainly on questions from women today). That variety is tough questions; questions that put you on the spot, in a not-so-helpful-to-your-cause sort of way.

We’ll talk about brushing these questions off. But there’s going to be a twist to how we do this; we don’t want to do a brush off in a way that looks like we are trying not to answer. That’s because if you evade someone’s questions (for too long), it seems like you’re frightened, or have something to hide.

So instead, we want to brush tough questions off in a way that either blows up the question, or lets us answer it on more favorable terms.

Going to Bed with Different Types of Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

different types of girls
You may think you only like girls of this personality, that look, or this background. Yet to truly know women, you must experience them in all their variety.

Hey, guys. I hope you enjoyed my latest series on calibration. This post is not about calibration per se, but the advice shared in this post will benefit your calibration as well as provide a lot of other benefits.

This post is more a reflection on life choices in regards to women, and how those choices can affect your future. I’ll cover why I believe meeting a huge diversity of women is beneficial to you. And we’ll tackle some biases men tend to have with women, why biases can be detrimental, and how to overcome them. Additionally, we will discuss the benefits of meeting a large variety of women, some of which include:

  • Rewiring triggers so you can enjoy new women (sometimes even better women)

  • Becoming more calibrated and skilled as a seducer

  • Removing biases caused by observations made from an unrepresentative selection of women

The "I'll Show Her!" Mentality in Dating

Chase Amante's picture

I'll show her
You might tell yourself “I’ll show her!” when a girl is resistant to or uninterested in you. Is there a better way to respond to a resistant or disinterested woman?

There’s a mentality I see a lot from guys. I’ve been guilty of it too, so I won’t claim innocence.

It goes like this: some girl doesn’t give you what you want, or she puts up walls to you, or does something else you do not like. In defiance, you tell yourself, “I’ll show her!” and you end the courtship. She’ll miss you when you’re gone – but now it’s too late for her; her chance with you is blown.

This mentality does indeed have its uses. We’ll talk about them below.

However, much of the time guys use it, it is just puffery. The girl moves on, doesn’t spend more than a few thoughts on you, and meets someone else. You, meanwhile, get to be alone with all your “I sure showed her!” thoughts.

If you do it, should you never do it? And if you don’t do it, what ought you do instead?