How to Use Sexual Qualification to Prime Women for Sex


As promised, I will now share a practical technique built on the theory of “sexual prizing”.

sexual qualification

Before I begin however, I would like to mention that this post is rather advanced. This is good news for our more experienced readers, but for those of you who are beginners/intermediates, I highly recommend you read my three previous posts that build up to this one:

These posts will work as pillars for the technique I am about to share with you. You will soon see “why” and “how” this all applies.

Although in theory reading these posts beforehand isn’t required, I very much recommend it. Reading them will give you a better, deeper, and broader understanding of the concept I am about to share with you.

Finally, keep in mind that this is an advanced (yet very efficient) technique, which means that having some in-field experience with women might be necessary in order to be able to pull this off properly. Still, if you don’t have that experience, read this post, and try it out and maybe fail anyway – it just might make you better. What I am really saying though is that you should not be too hard on yourself if you are a freshman with women and this doesn’t work as you’d expected.


Sexual Qualification

With “qualification” we mean qualifying a girl in the sense that we are trying to make her fit our standards. Since having standards is an attractive thing, not only is qualification a good technique for building attraction, but it’s also a way to screen for the right women while somewhat forcing them to display desirable personality traits.

”You are very cute, but are you adventurous?”

That is an example of a qualification. Asking such a question to women has multiple benefits (the benefits of qualification):

  1. You find out whether or not she is an adventurous woman or not (yet).

  2. If she doesn’t qualify (i.e., she claims she is not an adventurous woman) you can disqualify her (“you are not adventurous… that’s sad… I just started to really dig you”) in order to force her to qualify. Most of the time this works, because women will often display the sides of their personalities that they believe are attractive.

  3. You get an idea of whether or not she is into you. If she qualifies… take it as a sign of interest. If she doesn’t after multiple attempts from your side… move on.

  4. You create an “it’s on” moment! If she qualifies, you suddenly have an excuse to give her a compliment without being creepy.

  5. It puts you into a position of being the chased one, with her chasing.

All in all, you make women suit your standards.


Qualification and Your Standards

Previously we discussed that it is first of all not wise to qualify a women based on her looks, as there is not much room for her to qualify. And being a sensitive topic, you might just get rejected.

We also pointed out that you could qualify a woman based on her logistics (your logistical standards) and see whether or not she qualifies for being your girl of the night.

But most importantly, we can qualify a woman on her personality.

Let us say that you like women who are soft and feminine. Then you would qualify a woman… and tell her that she is beautiful while asking (or challenging) her about whether or not she is soft and feminine.

If she says she is, she has qualified to your standard and you can consider it her sign of interest.

If she doesn’t, you disqualify her: “Oh, that’s really sad… ”, forcing her to qualify, and if she does, it is also a good sign (even better actually… as it shows she is into you, as she is willing to fit your standards).


The Sexual Standards of Qualification

sexual qualificationHowever, what about the standards of sexual compatibility? We barely mentioned these in the previous post on qualification. The reason we did that is because this is a more complex topic, which we will broach here.

The idea of sexual qualification is that you have sexual “standards”, i.e., that you see a woman as being sexually compatible with you.

Now, we can already see how “sexual qualification” can become a powerful technique. First of all, it takes “sex” seriously. Most men when picking up women tend to forget that different women offer different sexual experiences. Most men, needy as they are, do not care about such things, as long as they get laid.

But you should. Now, what are your standards? That is up to you to figure out. Do you want a girl who enjoys oral sex? Maybe you want a girl who likes kinky sex (maybe BDSM stuff)? Or what about a girl who is slightly bi-curious (or bi-sexual)? Then maybe a threesome might be your thing.

Do you want a girl who is a total freak in bed or just a little adventurous? A girl who is open about her sexuality or a little bit more discreet?

Think about it: if you find a girl that fits your sexual needs, wouldn’t that make your sex life 100 times better? Maybe you should consider making your “sexual” standards a priority for when you pick up women.

But not only do these standards make your sex life better, it also makes you way more attractive! A man with standards when it comes to what sex he seeks is obviously a man who:

  • Gets laid a lot (preselection – women get attracted to men who are being chased by multiple women)

  • Obviously is non-needy (which is key)

  • Is probably less judgemental (men who gets laid a lot do not see sex as a big deal)

  • Knows what he wants in terms of sex

  • Is sexually experienced; he knows what women desire sexually


Sexual Standards and Sexual Prizing

If we recap quickly the whole idea behind sexual prizing, we can see that you build attraction by communicating to women that you are good in bed.

By doing so you not only make her horny, as you will most likely have an interaction based on sex and get her thinking about what it would be like to have sex with you, but you also convey to her that you are a good lover.

By doing so, you convey that you are a man who can satisfy her sexually. Keep in mind, most women, when having sex with men, do not get sexually satisfied. One reason might be that most men are terrible in bed.

This makes you, as a good lover, a very rare product, which will make women chase you. The reason behind that is that if a girl manages to win you over she will most likely “get” the good sex, as you have communicated that you are a good lover.

But in order to be a good lover, having standards when it comes to sex is really important. I believe that qualifying women based on those standards is a good way to communicate what type of lover you are – a good one; an experienced one.

In case you wondered… here are my standards (they might differ from yours):

  • Sexually open
  • Non-judgemental when it comes to sex
  • Open for experimenting
  • Has sexual preferences (depending on what I feel like doing that night: BDSM, exhibitionism, etc…)
  • Likes dirty or crazy sex

What are yours?


How to Qualify “Sexually”

Now, let us talk about how to actually qualify a woman with your sexual standards. In terms of the set up, it is the same as any other form of qualification (like qualifying her on her personality). For example:

”You seem like a very beautiful girl, but are you sexually open? I really like sexually open women, it is a sign of confidence, which I find attractive.”

  1. Start off by giving a compliment in order to not come across as rude and to keep things positive (remember, you are somewhat communicating to her that she is not “good enough” for you yet)

  2. Say your qualifier (“but are sexually open?”)

  3. Motivate her to qualify (“I really like sexually open women, it is a sign of confidence, which I find attractive”)

The last point is really important in this case. Keep in mind that most women have a social defence mechanism in order to protect them from being labelled and perceived as “sluts” whenever they display sides of their true inner sexual self (“ASD” – anti-slut defence).

Most women believe that men do not like women who are sexually open, promiscuous, and living in accordance with their true sexual nature. Therefore, women will often put up an image of themselves as asexual “madonnas”. So any time a man is curious about a woman’s sexuality she may put up a rather innocent and asexual image of herself. She will sometimes even deny that she is sexual at all.

It is therefore very important to show her that you find what you are qualifying her for attractive to you.

“You are adorable and sweet, but do you have a little mean and dirty persona hidden in all the sweetness? Because that… would be really hot.”

In the example above, you are trying to qualify her on whether or not she has a dirty sexual beast hidden in her personality. In order to increase the chances of her qualifying you tell her that you find such a thing hot.


Force Her Sexuality Out

Sometimes, you will face some resistance.

Alek: So if I get it right, you are sweet, feminine, and sexy! Nice. But are you a “sexual” girl? Sexual girls are hot.

Linda: [Throwing her arms around me] Thank you, no I am not that sexual, I am more into “love” and relationships. To me sex is more of a romance thing.

As we can see here, she is not qualifying and she is trying to display some “purity” in order to not be perceived as a “slut”.

In this case, it is key that you disqualify her – in other words, communicate to her that you don’t find this attractive. The key thing with qualification is that anything that you don’t find attractive will be disqualified. Think about it: do you find it sexy when you are out there looking for a one-night stand and a girl says she is asexual? Not really. So like in the example above, you disqualify.

sexual qualification

Now, you might think that a girl looking for romance is sexy if you are looking for a relationship… well, without derailing, I would say that women who want romance before sex are women who seek to control your balls and that that kind of thing rarely leads to a healthy relationship (I can write more about this if required).

However, when you disqualify her, you have to make it really clear that there is something else you find attractive in order for her to have something to qualify back to. Let me exemplify this:

Alek: So if I get it right, you are sweet, feminine, and sexy! Nice. But are you a “sexual” girl? Sexual girls are hot.

Linda: Thank you, no I am not that sexual, I am more into “love” and relationships. To me sex is more of a romance thing.

Alek: Well, I agree that sex within relationships is nice, yet I think it would be weird for you to deny that you as a woman don’t seek sexual pleasure just for the sake of trading orgasms. Remember, we are all human beings and sex feels good, so we all seek it. Are you sure there is not a little dirty beast within you? I think there is, and I find that hot.

Linda: Well okay, there might be a little sexy dirty beast in me…

You can see here how I would turn down her attempt to display purity and then convince her that her true sexual side is something attractive that she should not hide. This way she knows that I don’t seek purity (i.e., asexual women) and that I don’t find sexually open girls (or “slutty girls”, if you like) unattractive. I communicate to her that I want her to be a sexual beast:

Alek: You seem like a perfect girl, but you don't seem freaky enough...

Marit: I can be freaky…. if I feel like it.


Reward Her

However, if she is qualifying, or already shows signs that she is suiting your standards, you probably want to keep it that way; in other words, motivate her to continue in this direction.

Reward her for being sexual.

If the girl keeps showing signs that she suits your standards, take that as a good sign. REWARD HER FOR IT! You do so by showing appreciation and complimenting her honesty, while also appreciating her sexuality.

Like for example telling her how attractive she is when she is so sexually open. This will end up with her remaining sexually open toward you. It also removes some anti-slut defence, and you have now hopefully logically programmed her to believe that being “slutty” is attractive.

Examples:

Linn: Yeah, well you only live once you know, why not just release yourself?

Alek: That was the most charming thing I've heard tonight! Oh my god! Women are so sexy when they are in touch with their feminine nature!

Hanna: Oh heck yeah, there is so much bad sex out there... I want some dirty stuff you know? It’s more exciting.”

Alek: Woooooord!!!!! I find it really exciting experimenting with stuff myself, it makes sex more enjoyable.


Release Her Inner Beast

The point of sexual qualification is not only to find women that suit your needs but also to release a woman’s inner beast. In other words, your goal is to make her admit how much of a dirty freak she is.

Think about it: if a girl tells you directly how much she loves sex (or… oral sex, anal, threesomes) after just qualifying her, then you are not far from getting her to bed. A girl admitting to being a horny dirty girl is a girl that is most likely ready for you.

But, in some cases, you cannot really go crazy right away. It is always smart to start qualifying her on something not too kinky or personal. For example, do not do something like this right after entering a conversation:

Alek: Does a beautiful girl like you enjoy anal sex?

Dina: Get away from me creep.

Now, although such a thing can work very efficiently, it is still high risk/high reward. You will fail most of the time. What I recommend to play it safer is to start of very lightly (qualify on something non-sexual at first?) and then spice it up relative to her level of interest and receptiveness. Let me demonstrate:

At first let us start out with something light. You just met a girl, and you’ve just been talking with her for 5 minutes.

Alek: You seem interesting… are you spontaneous? (Indirectly sexual)

Karina: Yes, sometimes I am.

Alek: That’s sexy. I like spontaneous people.

Now a few minutes later you can spice it up. This time the girl will also give some resistance in order to complicate things and exemplify better.

Alek: You seem like a perfect girl: interesting, spontaneous, and very charismatic. Yet I need to ask, are you a sexually open girl? I love sexually open girls, because they are one with their feminine nature. (Trying to qualify)

Karina: Thank you, well, I am not a slut! (Not qualifying)

Alek: Honestly, I understand that men fear sexually liberated women. They fear female sexuality, but I embrace it and love it. You can act as “pure” as you can, it won’t matter because I won’t believe you. You are a female and females love sex – and that is what makes their presence so exciting in my opinion. I love women for being sexual being, but I love them even more when they are honest about it. (Disqualifying - forcing her to qualify)

Karina: Finally someone who understands it.

Alek: So are you sure you are not a little freaky? A sexy little freak? (Trying to re-qualify)

Karina: Okay, maybe a little. (she qualifies)

Now, you have maybe isolated her and been escalating and things are getting hot:

sexual qualification

Alek: So tell me you sexy little freak (that’s where we left off previously, right) are you into dirty stuff… as in sex? I find such a thing not only exciting but also fascinating. I guess you have your kinks right? (Qualifier)

Karina: Yes of course I do have some, but I am not that kinky. (Not fully qualifying)

Alek: That’s sad, because the kinkier you are, the hotter you are! (Disqualifying – forcing her to qualify)

Karina: I didn’t tell what kinks I had. (Qualifying)

Alek: Ah nice, I am indeed curious, for instance, I love oral sex… I think it’s so hot. (Trying to qualify further)

Karina: Yeah, I love oral sex too… (Qualifying)

You get the idea. At least from what you can see in this example, this is rather efficient.


Sexual Qualification – Recap

Sexual qualification is a form of qualification that takes into account your sexual standards – in other words, you qualify a woman based on the sexual compatibility between you and her.

The idea is to qualify women sexually in order to screen for the right women – those who are sexually compatible with you. If one qualifies, not only is this a sign of attraction, but it is also a sign that you two are maybe sexually compatible (only when you have sex can you truly find out though).

However, sexual qualification can also be used as a way to “force out” women’s true sexual nature. Women will often display purity as a response to anything sex related because they are afraid of being judged and “slut shamed”. By disqualifying her for not being the sexually open freak you desire, you force her to qualify as one. Once she does, you are one step closer to getting her to bed… with you.

Basically you make her admit that she is a sexual beast. However, if she really doesn’t qualify to you, you should move on.

But in the end, you will communicate that you are a good lover, with standards regarding sex. That is attractive, as it will communicate a certain amount of “sexual prizing”, which is the form of attraction that gets generated in women from you communicating that you are a great lover.

All in all, this is a very efficient technique that will shorten up the seduction process and get you laid faster and easier.

I warn you, such a technique can lead to really crazy sex. Be aware.

Hope you enjoyed it. Questions and comments are welcome.

Until next,

Alek

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Comments

Jamar's picture

Self


Its so funny how I see so many people posting on sex tips and its all so irrelevant for me since I cant get that far. I cant even talk to any girl about sex because it repels them so I cant even talk about small talk which angers me. Im sick of not being that guy... because alot of times a girl is just not having sex with you if you cant keep a conversation long which angers me.

And I swear to god I cant fucking stand pua who claim conversation doesn't matter because it does. We are not fucking mutes...it doesn't work like that. And you know what..... I have just realized that NONE and I mean none of the tips I read about pickup since I discovered it worked. NEVER. Does this shit really work?. Someone tell me right now that this works for them. And Im not coming down on guy in charge here its just that its like puas just keep following the same stuff other ones taught them. And there just passing it on.

Huuh. Im really just sick of tips cause I want results. Real results. Cause this shit is hard because people are complicated..and stop the show saying there are not. It comes easier since youve been doing it for along time just like anything we master.

Cognac's picture

It works.


Actually, it's given me a new perspective on life I've never had before. Some of my friends are actually using it as well.

It works. All of it.

Every time you fail or after an unsuccessful attempt, sit down and think about what you did wrong. Try again.

Maybe write up a field report and post it on the forums.

Keep Hanging in there. All of us are right there with you.

Cognac

Explosive Results's picture

The word "dirty" appears far


The word "dirty" appears far too often in this article.

There's nothing dirty about sex so why are you even thinking in those terms?

Chase Amante's picture

Dirty


ER-

Alek's using "dirty" the same way I use "naughty" here: "7 Reasons Why All Girls are Naughty Girls."

It's used in a playful, toying, sexually exciting way here, rather than a judgmental "don't be dirty" way the way, say, a Catholic priest might use the word "dirty" referring to unconventional sex. "You're a very DIRTY girl, aren't you?" ;) said with a smile and a wink, versus "Ew, I'd never do anal... that's dirty."

Chase

Pacino's picture

Stuttering


Hey Alek, the post is really helpful according to me. But me as a stutterer, I struggle a lot with women, I struggle a lot and I love women so much, and they love me too because they say I'm handsome and they love the way I dress., but they get disappointed when I talk. I'm a chronic stutterer, and I really want them to understand, how can you help me on this one?

SoraDevin's picture

Hey bro, I know how this


Hey bro, I know how this feels. I sometimes still stutter, but never have chronically so. What helps me a great deal is taking the time to think through what you are going to say. The silence from doing so before you speak also has benefits like giving your words more power and depending on your eye contact, fundamentals etc, can really help portray you as a dominant man.

Hope that helps, taking the time to make your words deliberate works for me, but it might be that if you have a chronic problem you'll need a speech therapist or something.

All the best

David Riley's picture

Second That


I actually endorse this comment, I use to get nervous and have anxiety as a child. I learned to slow down relax and breathe. My teachers really worked with me when I was younger as well. I learned to speak clearer and truly enunciate my words. People were able to understand me better and I had better confidence. I would highly suggest seeing a speech therapist if you can. I would also recommend doing some research on Google as well.

Good luck,

Just Dave

Anon Tomas's picture

Too much attraction?


Hello Alek and guys,

please could you explain a problem that happens to me from time to time? It is rare, but it happens and I am not able to find a reasonable explanation.

I am on the first date. The date goes great, however for whatever reason (logistics) we cannot have sex right then. So we end the date, everything ok. Post-date communication is great and we are looking forward for a second date, which I would lead to sex.

After some two-three days, the woman changes her mind and consequently, the 2nd date never happens. The reason is like this: "Tom, our date was so amazing... you're the one and I would easily fall in love with you... But I don't want to fall in love with someone like you..."

Those women are honest to me. They know they would fall in love and want to have a serious relationship, but I wouldn't give it to them.

The questions are - is it really possible? Are they really honest? Can I really sweep a woman off her feet so much during three hours? I don't come off like a provider/boyfriend/husband. I try to be a lover. How can I prevent this problem?

Thanks a lot for your articles, Tom

David Riley's picture

Attainability and Article Link


Hey Tom,

I want to share an article with about women changing their minds so much.

Mind Change

The main issue I can see here is the issue with attainability. These women are very interested in you but don't see you as a long term mate. They know they can have hot steamy sex with you, but that's all. As a result they leave now before they feel you'll hurt them. They more than likely are doing this out of previous experiences. She doesn't want to appear too easy, and have you walk out of her.

One way to solve this is make yourself appear more attainable. You have to be within her reach but you're not completely hers. Remember women love the chase and to feel wanted, but they don't want you to make it too easy for them either. They want you to turn them on sexually, but they want to make sure you still respect them. "There's nothing wrong with embracing her sexuality." I use frames like these to get women to realize that I'm gonna judge them. You gotta put her at ease. Once your there you can sleep with her on the second date. Another tip would be to not make the 2nd date explicitly about sex. "I'm just here to chill and learn more about you." Women will Chase you hard when they believe you don't actual want them.

Take care,

Just Dave

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