How to Qualify a Girl and Ramp Up Attraction

Hi everyone. Good to be back! How is everyone doing? I am sorry for having been inactive. I was busy with school. But now it is all over and I will be able to pump out a few articles for you!

Previously we discussed what it meant to have standards. We covered different types of standards and reflected on different aspects of it. Today we will talk more about standards, but this time more about its practical aspects – namely, how you can use “standards” in qualification.

qualify a girl

First of all, I am aware that qualification has been covered multiple times here at Girls Chase, but in my belief, repetition is good, especially when it is about important topics.

Also, I probably have a different view on qualification than other posters here, which in the end will just build up to your technique arsenal of mass seduction. New readers will of course benefit from this post as well.

Also keep in mind that this post on qualification, like the previous one on standards, is another of the crucial elements of sexual prizing. This post, in fact, covers such an important element of sexual prizing (a concept I introduced a month ago), that if you want to be able to truly understand my upcoming posts on that topic, this one is a must read.


Before we begin, let us recap (quickly) the major types of “standards” we discussed in our previous post:

  1. Hotness: That a girl is beautiful enough to reach your standards. In other words, a girl needs to be beautiful enough for you to be willing to have sex or get into a relationship with her.

  2. Personality: That a girl has a personality you can get along with. Having standards in terms of “personality” means that you require a certain personality from her (i.e., she must be kind, feminine, sweet…).

  3. Logistical standards: Meaning you require certain logistics (living nearby, alone, free the next day…) from her in order to be willing to have sex with her (this one applies primarily to casual sex).

  4. Sexual compatibility: A standard based on the fact that you and the girl have to match sexually (that you are to a certain extent into the same kinks) in order for you to be willing to hook up with her.

Let us now cover what qualification is, and how having standards fuse with the art of qualification.

What is Qualification?

One of the most commonly used tools in seduction is qualification. Most good seducers use this tool to make girls who are attracted to them even more attracted and help them seal the deal much easier (such as making it easier to take her home to your place and escalating till the end).

Qualification basically means “qualifying” the girl. Now, you have probably already noticed that such a technique easily makes you into the prize and the woman into the chaser.

For those who have been around here for a while, you know that being chased (i.e., being the prize in women’s eyes) is a good thing when it comes to seduction.

Before I explain further what qualification is, let me give you an example of what it looks like:

Alek: You seem like a really sweet and charming girl, but sadly you seem a little closed-minded… for me.

What you saw there is a qualifier. In other words it’s bait, and if women go for it (i.e., qualify to it)… you are most likely in.

As you saw, I challenge the girl in order to force her to qualify to me. Once she qualifies to my qualifier I will be the one being qualified to, in other words, I’ll be the prize.

Also, this obviously displays that you have standards. You have certain things you are looking for, and you will not spend your time on someone who cannot provide those things. This is also a good thing, because fact is: having standards is more or less attractive – or at least, all attractive men have them.

By having standards you indirectly communicate that you are of higher value and that you have multiple options (else you would not be in a position to have standards, right?). Basically, having standards is an attractive trait, and qualifying is a good way to communicate it.

Now there are two ways of qualifying: the first way is to ask her whether or not she qualifies to your standards.

You are very sexy, but are you adventurous?

Or you can qualify her by disqualifying her. This way can often be more powerful in how it is more or less forcing her to qualify herself, but again, it is also riskier as it can upset her.

Let’s face it, disqualifying her is a little bit “ruder”. In our first example of what a qualifier looked like, we used this form, but I will give you a new example in order to avoid confusion.

You are so charming, energetic, and passionate! Sad you don’t seem that sexually liberated, because that would be really hot.

Qualification as a Way to Test for Interest

Not only does qualifying make you more attractive but it is also a very good, safe, and easy way to test her level of interest – find out whether or not (or how much) she is into you.

If she qualifies to you she is most likely into you; if she doesn’t she is most likely not.

Let us exemplify that:

Example #1: She Qualifies:

Alek: You seem like a really sweet and charming girl, but sadly you seem a little closed-minded… for me.

Julia: Oh… no I am not closed-minded at all…

qualify a girl

As you can see, she now qualified to your qualifier (your little challenge).

You displayed a standard – namely that you don’t like closed-minded girls – or put another way: you want open-minded girls. Now… she qualified to your standard as she is trying to qualify to you.

Basically, qualification as a technique means that you put out bait (a qualifier) in order to make her qualify to you – simply put: force her to fit into your standards; force her to “try to win you over”.

In this example, she is indeed attracted to you, and therefore she is trying to show you that she is the type of girl you like – she is qualifying to you.

Now what if she does not qualify…?

Example #2: She Doesn’t Qualify:

Alek: You seem like a really sweet and charming girl, but sadly you seem a little closed minded… for me.

Julia: Maybe I am, why do you care? [truly not qualifying]

Here you can see that she is most likely not attracted. Maybe she is just playing a game? Maybe she is trying to keep her status as the prize – the one being chased?

It doesn’t matter because you will respond to it the same way, which is our next topic.

Responding to Her Response

So how do we respond to her qualification?

Or even more importantly, how do we respond to her disqualification?

Well, think of it as a concept of “punish/reward” where you reward her for behaving an appropriate way, and you punish her for not doing so. So if she qualifies to you it is key that you reward her.

You can do so by giving her a compliment. Even better, compliment her for being the girl you qualified her to be. This way you motivate her to qualify further, which obviously will only benefit you!

Remember that you can also use non-verbal communication (signs of interest) to reward her, such as touching her or giving her strong eye contact!

So let’s now use another example:

Alek: You are hot indeed, but are you an easy-going girl? I like easy-going girls!

Julia: Oh thanks, well yes I believe I am!

Alek: Awesome! You are not only pretty, but also easy-going! I love you! [delivered in a non-serious way of course…]

Now… what if she doesn’t qualify?

Well, in such a case the logical answer would be to give her a negative remark, but that can be very risky, especially if you really want that girl.

It is therefore more advised to give her an “ice-cold”, “disappointed” and “careless” remark, as if you just lost a little bit of interest in her, without being directly negative toward her: “That’s sad… because you are indeed really sweet” can do it (did you see that I used a compliment to balance it, in order to not upset her? That can be a good tool!).


Alek: Is such a confident girl like you, also sexually confident?

Julia: I don’t think it is any of your business, and no I am actually a little shy!

Alek: Meh… I see… [being careless and non-impressed is maybe the best answer?]

But if you want to play it safe, you can always avoid her response and proceed with more escalation, more attraction buildings techniques, maybe even isolate her better (just “generate a little bit more attraction”) in order to try again later?

If you don’t react or give any responses (especially not verbal responses) to her disqualification, her disqualification will lose its value – it will be like it had never taken place.

This can be seen as a very safe technique, yet it is not powerful, in the sense that you are not reacting to it.

By reacting to her disqualification (by, for example, showing a loss of interest), you somewhat disqualify her.

By disqualifying her, you force her to qualify to you even harder. But again, this can go both ways. Calibration is key and field experience is what makes you into a calibrated master!

Keep in mind however that if after a few attempts she still does not qualify to you, maybe it is time to reconsider your investments and move on?

Qualification as a Way to Show Interest

Giving compliments and showing interest might work in some cases, but in many cases it can make you come across as needy.

However, if you use a qualifier and she qualifies back, as mentioned earlier, you have to reward her with a positive remark (say a compliment).

This gives you a chance to give a compliment, or simply display some interest without coming across as needy because you have a good reason to show interest in her – she just qualified to you; she just communicated to you that she fits within your standards. So it is of course in its right place and far from needy to display some interest in her in such a scenario.

Why is it at all important to show interest? Well it pretty much creates an “it’s on” moment between you and her.

qualify a girl

If she shows interest in you, and you (as a result of her qualifying) show interest in her, you create a vibe (or a “bubble” if you like) where you and her have something special going on; there is some mutual attraction taking place (and remember, mutual attraction is key).

Remember that when a woman feels that there is something special going on between you, isolation (getting her away from the crowd), extraction (taking her home), and escalation (building up from a social vibe into a sexual one) becomes much easier.

Which Standards can be used for Qualification?

First of all, I know some seducers like to qualify women in terms of their looks.

You are very sweet, but I am sadly not into blondes.

Personally… I think this is a terrible idea. You really hurt her feelings, as a woman’s looks are a very sensitive topic.

Further, the purpose of qualification is to make her qualify. If you try to make her qualify to you in terms of looks (or even worse… hotness – “you are not hot enough”) there are very small to almost no chances that she will qualify to you.

She will most likely not commit to plastic surgery in order to fit your standards of beauty, nor will she even dye her hair. All you risk is her getting very emotionally hurt and things going south.

“Personality” and “sexual compatibility” however are probably the best and easiest things to qualify a girl on. Not only are they far less sensitive topics than looks, but also it gives women a chance to display different sides of their personalities.

If you think women are honest about their personality or who they are, then you are wrong.

It is known that women can be “anyone” in order to attract a desired male, or in order to be perceived as an attractive woman by her surroundings.

Now a woman does have a personality, but when out meeting men, she is not always displaying her true self… This again gives you a lot of room to make her qualify to your desires.

Keep in mind that if you qualify a girl on sexual compatibility, you risk facing “anti-slut defence”. Be sure you have read and mastered the techniques against it before considering this approach (more on this in future posts).

Moving on to “logistical standards”, it can be wise to ask her about her logistics once in a while:

  • “Where do you live?”
  • “Who do you live with?”
  • “Are you from around here?”

… in order to figure out her logistics. But again, do not make it obvious that you want to know everything about her logistics, as it can seem a little creepy (you communicate to her that you “obviously want to take her home” – bad bad!), but instead, once in a while you sneak in a question about her logistics.

She either has good or bad logistics and it is up to you to decide whether or not you are willing to proceed with this girl or not (I recommend to not proceed with girls who have bad logistics). In this case, if she qualifies, you keep interacting with her. If she doesn’t, move on.

Small Tips on Qualification

Here are just some small tips that will make qualification easier and more powerful for you.

  1. Always give a small compliment before qualifying – this way, not only do you motivate her to qualify to you, but you also remove the risk of her getting upset in case she takes your qualification attempts negatively (especially if you use a disqualifier).

  2. If you qualify without having sensed any interest on her part, you risk that she won’t qualify to your qualification attempt. Many seducers recommend waiting until you have “generated” some attraction in her, although that isn’t necessary if she shows strong signs of interests right away.

  3. Whatever you qualify her for, make sure you communicate that you find such a thing attractive. For example, if you would like to qualify her on being “adventurous” make sure you let her know that you find adventurous women attractive.

Qualification Recap

Having standards is an elementary trait of being an attractive man. And in this article we have covered how we can display those standards in order to convey that we are attractive men.

This is done by using what we called “qualification”, with the use of “qualifiers” where we try to figure out whether or not she fits into our standards and then proceed with challenging (or “forcing”) her to fit into them.

This can be done by either qualifying her, in the sense that you openly ask her whether she fits into one of your standards, or by disqualifying yourself to her by assuming she doesn’t, in order to force her to prove the opposite.

Her response to your qualification attempts will of course vary. She will either qualify back or not (if not, we can say she is disqualifying herself to you). If she qualifies it is important to reward her with some positive attention and signs of interest. If she doesn’t, either display a sign of disinterest or avoid her response and try qualifying her again later on, with the hope of better success.

We have also discussed why I believe qualifying in terms of “personality” and “sexual compatibility” are your best bets. They are NOT touching into a sensitive topic such as “looks/hotness” while at the same time they give the most room for her to qualify to you.

We have also seen that qualification can be used to test for her interest and can also be used as a tool to show interest without coming across as needy.

All in all, qualification is a very strong tool that most seducers use either consciously or unconsciously.

I hope you found this post useful.

Question and comments are welcome.

Until next,


Alek RolstadAbout the Author: Alek Rolstad

Alek Rolstad launched his pickup career at age 14, an early starter and seduction savant. His unique style of game focuses on “sex talk”: a way to make sex the primary topic of conversation. Sex talk lets the user excite girls rapidly, and filter for girls open to fast, raunchy, kinky one-night stands and sex. Alek plans to offer phone coaching to students of Girls Chase soon… Just as soon as he can find somewhere to hold phone calls on sex talk and threesomes where he won’t be shocking his roommates.

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Anonymous's picture

Glad to see you back!

Question: Should qualifiers be used throughout an interaction? Like should we qualify a girl before getting her phone number AND qualify her on the date?

Once she qualifies herself, should we sometimes qualify her some more after that?

Nick Shaw's picture

Hi Alek,

I am taking a tango class, in order to improve my elegance, movements, and attain grace and yes of course to meet some girls. My problem is, I am just a beginner, having no prior experience in dance, and the girls, even the least experienced are way ahead of me in skills. Right now they are not really interested in me. I remember something that Chase wrote, that women always mate with their superiors, never with someone who is below them in status. And since I am a beginner right now, and the only way to demonstrate value in that class is through dancing skills, I am a low status male at present.

That seems to defeat the purpose of joining the class. As such, I have no problems in pulling women otherwise, it is only in that class that the females seem unattracted to me. Is their any way out, or do I have to keep practicing dancing and getting skilled at it, before I have a shot. And would you suggest I drop the class. That is something I dont want to do at all since it would be quitting, running away in the face of obstacles.

The reason why I talk about quitting is because last week was my first class, and I was really bad. So bad that the instructor felt that the girls were wasting their time dancing with me and told me to take a breather/ dance with men instead. That sucked.

However I still dont intend to quit. Would like to get your views on it.


Aiden's picture

Hey Nick,

Regardless of how well you think you went did you enjoy learning to dance and dancing? If so; don't worry about anything else and what others think of you at the present moment, you're a complete beginner and still learning and you will improve it just takes time. I was the same with starting Salsa classes... I was wooden, let the girls lead and woefully under confident but I kept going and have a blast now. Hang in there if you like it :)

Regards, Aiden

Anonymous's picture

sounds alot like screening ;) how u mention possibly complimenting during the screen/qualifier itself.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

That is a good trend to follow, you want to reward a girl when she's being cooperative and punish when she's not. When a girl is engaging with you during the conversation reward her, and if she's not being receptive give her the bored look. It shows her that she can't treat you just any kind of way. This will make girls respect you in the end.

Take care,

Just Dave

Ash's picture

Great article!

A few quick questions...

How do you respond when she asks you a qualifying question?
I'm guessing some deflection/Witt or maybe flipping it round so to get her qualifying?

RE: when she won't qualify (you mentioned she might be playing games) sometimes this is because she can sense you're getting the power and doesn't want to lose it all, she's just socially savy. I found a way around this is to be indirect with qualification, so I'd talk about past dates and the things I really like and the things I didn't, that way she can agree with me without losing her power. This has worked really well for me, with the girls still chasing me.

JD's picture

Hi Alek,

I've been in a 1 month official but total 3 months relationship with a girl. We are both in mid 20s. 25 years of age. I mention to her that there are alot of traits I like about her which is why I got into a relationship with her but some things need a tweak. I do not like her drinking habit. She has been drinking for a long time and has a good tolerance to alcohol than most girls. She's never went all the way with any person - drunk or not drunk. She's fairly new to the game and that's a plus for me.

My Question is how do I try to have her change the drinking to the limit part? She always says: I'm in control. She recently had a work party and they had dinner and club and told me she was in control throughout but she was pretty gone in the pictures she told me. She takes loyalty very seriously - told me in extreme details on how guys tried to come and grind onto her and she moved away several times. Ofcourse she's dancing at the club - yes it's a work party. I'm okay with her drinking but not to the extent where it's past 4-5 drinks in total. How do I incorporate this to let her know this is what I EXPECT from my girlfriend?

Thanks for your article - it's a great technique.

David Riley's picture

Hey JD,

What you want to do is bring it up to her in a non nagging or judgmental way. You want say it in a "Hey you're really but I feel like you're more fun when you don't drink so much." I would even try not rewarding her when she drinks excessively and rewarding her when she doesn't drink excessively. This way you don't send mix signals to her. Overall though, just explain that you still like but the drinking thing bothers you a bit. Don't make any ultimatums, girls are gonna do what they want. It will only drive her away. Just keep it cool and set the expectation that you don't want that from your girlfriend. You could also try activities that don't involve her excessively drinking.

Take care,

Just Dave

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