How to Qualify a Girl and Ramp Up Attraction
Saturday, 7 June 2014
Hi everyone. Good to be back! How is everyone doing? I am sorry for having been inactive. I was busy with school. But now it is all over and I will be able to pump out a few articles for you!
Previously we discussed what it meant to have standards. We covered different types of standards and reflected on different aspects of it. Today we will talk more about standards, but this time more about its practical aspects – namely, how you can use “standards” in qualification.
Also, I probably have a different view on qualification than other posters here, which in the end will just build up to your technique arsenal of mass seduction. New readers will of course benefit from this post as well.
Also keep in mind that this post on qualification, like the previous one on standards, is another of the crucial elements of sexual prizing. This post, in fact, covers such an important element of sexual prizing (a concept I introduced a month ago), that if you want to be able to truly understand my upcoming posts on that topic, this one is a must read.
Before we begin, let us recap (quickly) the major types of “standards” we discussed in our previous post:
Hotness: That a girl is beautiful enough to reach your standards. In other words, a girl needs to be beautiful enough for you to be willing to have sex or get into a relationship with her.
Personality: That a girl has a personality you can get along with. Having standards in terms of “personality” means that you require a certain personality from her (i.e., she must be kind, feminine, sweet…).
Logistical standards: Meaning you require certain logistics (living nearby, alone, free the next day…) from her in order to be willing to have sex with her (this one applies primarily to casual sex).
Sexual compatibility: A standard based on the fact that you and the girl have to match sexually (that you are to a certain extent into the same kinks) in order for you to be willing to hook up with her.
Let us now cover what qualification is, and how having standards fuse with the art of qualification.
What is Qualification?
One of the most commonly used tools in seduction is qualification. Most good seducers use this tool to make girls who are attracted to them even more attracted and help them seal the deal much easier (such as making it easier to take her home to your place and escalating till the end).
Qualification basically means “qualifying” the girl. Now, you have probably already noticed that such a technique easily makes you into the prize and the woman into the chaser.
For those who have been around here for a while, you know that being chased (i.e., being the prize in women’s eyes) is a good thing when it comes to seduction.
Before I explain further what qualification is, let me give you an example of what it looks like:
Alek: You seem like a really sweet and charming girl, but sadly you seem a little closed-minded… for me.
What you saw there is a qualifier. In other words it’s bait, and if women go for it (i.e., qualify to it)… you are most likely in.
As you saw, I challenge the girl in order to force her to qualify to me. Once she qualifies to my qualifier I will be the one being qualified to, in other words, I’ll be the prize.
Also, this obviously displays that you have standards. You have certain things you are looking for, and you will not spend your time on someone who cannot provide those things. This is also a good thing, because fact is: having standards is more or less attractive – or at least, all attractive men have them.
By having standards you indirectly communicate that you are of higher value and that you have multiple options (else you would not be in a position to have standards, right?). Basically, having standards is an attractive trait, and qualifying is a good way to communicate it.
Now there are two ways of qualifying: the first way is to ask her whether or not she qualifies to your standards.
“You are very sexy, but are you adventurous?”
Or you can qualify her by disqualifying her. This way can often be more powerful in how it is more or less forcing her to qualify herself, but again, it is also riskier as it can upset her.
Let’s face it, disqualifying her is a little bit “ruder”. In our first example of what a qualifier looked like, we used this form, but I will give you a new example in order to avoid confusion.
“You are so charming, energetic, and passionate! Sad you don’t seem that sexually liberated, because that would be really hot.”
Qualification as a Way to Test for Interest
Not only does qualifying make you more attractive but it is also a very good, safe, and easy way to test her level of interest – find out whether or not (or how much) she is into you.
If she qualifies to you she is most likely into you; if she doesn’t she is most likely not.
Let us exemplify that:
Example #1: She Qualifies:
Alek: You seem like a really sweet and charming girl, but sadly you seem a little closed-minded… for me.
Julia: Oh… no I am not closed-minded at all…
As you can see, she now qualified to your qualifier (your little challenge).
You displayed a standard – namely that you don’t like closed-minded girls – or put another way: you want open-minded girls. Now… she qualified to your standard as she is trying to qualify to you.
Basically, qualification as a technique means that you put out bait (a qualifier) in order to make her qualify to you – simply put: force her to fit into your standards; force her to “try to win you over”.
In this example, she is indeed attracted to you, and therefore she is trying to show you that she is the type of girl you like – she is qualifying to you.
Now what if she does not qualify…?
Example #2: She Doesn’t Qualify:
Alek: You seem like a really sweet and charming girl, but sadly you seem a little closed minded… for me.
Julia: Maybe I am, why do you care? [truly not qualifying]
Here you can see that she is most likely not attracted. Maybe she is just playing a game? Maybe she is trying to keep her status as the prize – the one being chased?
It doesn’t matter because you will respond to it the same way, which is our next topic.
Responding to Her Response
So how do we respond to her qualification?
Or even more importantly, how do we respond to her disqualification?
Well, think of it as a concept of “punish/reward” where you reward her for behaving an appropriate way, and you punish her for not doing so. So if she qualifies to you it is key that you reward her.
You can do so by giving her a compliment. Even better, compliment her for being the girl you qualified her to be. This way you motivate her to qualify further, which obviously will only benefit you!
So let’s now use another example:
Alek: You are hot indeed, but are you an easy-going girl? I like easy-going girls!
Julia: Oh thanks, well yes I believe I am!
Alek: Awesome! You are not only pretty, but also easy-going! I love you! [delivered in a non-serious way of course…]
Now… what if she doesn’t qualify?
Well, in such a case the logical answer would be to give her a negative remark, but that can be very risky, especially if you really want that girl.
It is therefore more advised to give her an “ice-cold”, “disappointed” and “careless” remark, as if you just lost a little bit of interest in her, without being directly negative toward her: “That’s sad… because you are indeed really sweet” can do it (did you see that I used a compliment to balance it, in order to not upset her? That can be a good tool!).
Alek: Is such a confident girl like you, also sexually confident?
Julia: I don’t think it is any of your business, and no I am actually a little shy!
Alek: Meh… I see… [being careless and non-impressed is maybe the best answer?]
But if you want to play it safe, you can always avoid her response and proceed with more escalation, more attraction buildings techniques, maybe even isolate her better (just “generate a little bit more attraction”) in order to try again later?
If you don’t react or give any responses (especially not verbal responses) to her disqualification, her disqualification will lose its value – it will be like it had never taken place.
This can be seen as a very safe technique, yet it is not powerful, in the sense that you are not reacting to it.
By reacting to her disqualification (by, for example, showing a loss of interest), you somewhat disqualify her.
By disqualifying her, you force her to qualify to you even harder. But again, this can go both ways. Calibration is key and field experience is what makes you into a calibrated master!
Keep in mind however that if after a few attempts she still does not qualify to you, maybe it is time to reconsider your investments and move on?
Qualification as a Way to Show Interest
Giving compliments and showing interest might work in some cases, but in many cases it can make you come across as needy.
However, if you use a qualifier and she qualifies back, as mentioned earlier, you have to reward her with a positive remark (say a compliment).
This gives you a chance to give a compliment, or simply display some interest without coming across as needy because you have a good reason to show interest in her – she just qualified to you; she just communicated to you that she fits within your standards. So it is of course in its right place and far from needy to display some interest in her in such a scenario.
Why is it at all important to show interest? Well it pretty much creates an “it’s on” moment between you and her.
If she shows interest in you, and you (as a result of her qualifying) show interest in her, you create a vibe (or a “bubble” if you like) where you and her have something special going on; there is some mutual attraction taking place (and remember, mutual attraction is key).
Remember that when a woman feels that there is something special going on between you, isolation (getting her away from the crowd), extraction (taking her home), and escalation (building up from a social vibe into a sexual one) becomes much easier.
Which Standards can be used for Qualification?
First of all, I know some seducers like to qualify women in terms of their looks.
“You are very sweet, but I am sadly not into blondes.”
Personally… I think this is a terrible idea. You really hurt her feelings, as a woman’s looks are a very sensitive topic.
Further, the purpose of qualification is to make her qualify. If you try to make her qualify to you in terms of looks (or even worse… hotness – “you are not hot enough”) there are very small to almost no chances that she will qualify to you.
She will most likely not commit to plastic surgery in order to fit your standards of beauty, nor will she even dye her hair. All you risk is her getting very emotionally hurt and things going south.
“Personality” and “sexual compatibility” however are probably the best and easiest things to qualify a girl on. Not only are they far less sensitive topics than looks, but also it gives women a chance to display different sides of their personalities.
If you think women are honest about their personality or who they are, then you are wrong.
It is known that women can be “anyone” in order to attract a desired male, or in order to be perceived as an attractive woman by her surroundings.
Now a woman does have a personality, but when out meeting men, she is not always displaying her true self… This again gives you a lot of room to make her qualify to your desires.
Keep in mind that if you qualify a girl on sexual compatibility, you risk facing “anti-slut defence”. Be sure you have read and mastered the techniques against it before considering this approach (more on this in future posts).
Moving on to “logistical standards”, it can be wise to ask her about her logistics once in a while:
- “Where do you live?”
- “Who do you live with?”
- “Are you from around here?”
… in order to figure out her logistics. But again, do not make it obvious that you want to know everything about her logistics, as it can seem a little creepy (you communicate to her that you “obviously want to take her home” – bad bad!), but instead, once in a while you sneak in a question about her logistics.
She either has good or bad logistics and it is up to you to decide whether or not you are willing to proceed with this girl or not (I recommend to not proceed with girls who have bad logistics). In this case, if she qualifies, you keep interacting with her. If she doesn’t, move on.
Small Tips on Qualification
Here are just some small tips that will make qualification easier and more powerful for you.
Always give a small compliment before qualifying – this way, not only do you motivate her to qualify to you, but you also remove the risk of her getting upset in case she takes your qualification attempts negatively (especially if you use a disqualifier).
If you qualify without having sensed any interest on her part, you risk that she won’t qualify to your qualification attempt. Many seducers recommend waiting until you have “generated” some attraction in her, although that isn’t necessary if she shows strong signs of interests right away.
Whatever you qualify her for, make sure you communicate that you find such a thing attractive. For example, if you would like to qualify her on being “adventurous” make sure you let her know that you find adventurous women attractive.
Having standards is an elementary trait of being an attractive man. And in this article we have covered how we can display those standards in order to convey that we are attractive men.
This is done by using what we called “qualification”, with the use of “qualifiers” where we try to figure out whether or not she fits into our standards and then proceed with challenging (or “forcing”) her to fit into them.
This can be done by either qualifying her, in the sense that you openly ask her whether she fits into one of your standards, or by disqualifying yourself to her by assuming she doesn’t, in order to force her to prove the opposite.
Her response to your qualification attempts will of course vary. She will either qualify back or not (if not, we can say she is disqualifying herself to you). If she qualifies it is important to reward her with some positive attention and signs of interest. If she doesn’t, either display a sign of disinterest or avoid her response and try qualifying her again later on, with the hope of better success.
We have also discussed why I believe qualifying in terms of “personality” and “sexual compatibility” are your best bets. They are NOT touching into a sensitive topic such as “looks/hotness” while at the same time they give the most room for her to qualify to you.
We have also seen that qualification can be used to test for her interest and can also be used as a tool to show interest without coming across as needy.
All in all, qualification is a very strong tool that most seducers use either consciously or unconsciously.
I hope you found this post useful.
Question and comments are welcome.
Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls
Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook “How to Text Girls” FREE. Learn more ...
Trying to piece together a seduction strategy bit-by-bit, article-by-article, question-by-question? Stop killing yourself doing it the slow and difficult way - and get it all spelled out for you instead, in detail, in exactly the order you need to learn it... with homework, too.
With our complete mastery pick up package, you'll get our 406-page how-to eBook How to Make Girls Chase, our 63-minute long video Spellbinding: Get Her Talking, and 3 hours of audio training - all for less than the price of the book and video alone.
Quit banging your head against the wall - get it now, to speed your learning curve up dramatically... and start really getting the women you want to want you too. You can go right here to get started and be downloading your programs in minutes: How to Be a Pick Up Artist.
Related Articles from GirlsChase.com