Pickup

Mass approaching gets a bum rap. When it’s used well, it stops being sloppy and scattershot… and becomes a savvy, effective way to meet many women in a hurry.

Do you ignore signs of interest from girls or get too nervous to approach? You may want to spend 5 minutes to rehearse approaches and scenarios in your mind.

If you’ve ever gone out to chat up new women and had approach anxiety hit, you know how much it sucked. You wanted to talk to girls, hoped to talk to girls, tried to talk to girls... then couldn’t.

You walked up next to a girl with the long black hair and the tight jeans on the street corner as she waited for the light to change. You said nothing.

You took a seat in a café next to a girl with medium-length blonde hair and big googly glasses. She glanced at you a few times, and you tried to summon your nerve. Yet your nerve went unsummoned, and you and her never spoke.

That night you went out with your buddies to the lounge, and this one girl in a sequined dance danced over right near you. You could tell she wanted to meet you. You tried to get yourself to say hi, but you didn’t say anything.

It might be you just weren’t socially warmed up. You lack social momentum, and needed to do some warm-ups – but you hadn’t done them yet.

You wish you could just spring into action the moment you saw a girl.

Is there a way you could?

Perhaps there is. Next time you go out, try to rehearse your approaches first.

What’s one thing all the best seducers have in common? Logistical awareness. Where to go, what to pay attention to, and all the secret spots inside the venue.

The way men practice (and teach) seduction can be split into three (3) distinct camps: the trio of screening, natural, and control game.

When I first discovered the existence of the pickup community and had my eyes opened to the objective truth that getting good with women was a skill – a skill that can be learned, improved upon, and of course, mastered – I was ecstatic, but I quickly became overwhelmed.

You see, it was quite easy to get overwhelmed, because like every student of the game who discovers this community, I immediately came face to face with the overwhelming quantity of dating advice, dogmas, and methods that had been complied by so many seducers over the years.

And what made things particularly confusing back then was that a lot of the advice and manuals on how to get good with girls seemed to be at odds with material from other sources. It wasn’t uncommon for me to hear a group of seducers swear by one way of doing things (“always use the 3-second rule and strike up a conversation within three seconds of laying eyes on a girl”), then I’d find another group of seducers whose guidebooks sounded like they were in direct opposition to the ideas of the previous group (“scout your targets and position yourself well before you start a conversation”).

Luckily, as I spent more time in the community trying out different forms of advice, improving my own skills with women, as well as having enlightening conversations with several different seducers and partaking in a number of seduction road trips where I’d journey out of town to meet up with other seducers so I could observe and seduce women side by side with them, I was able to learn a thing or two.

One of the things I learned – the topic of today’s article – was that each and every one of the guides (or seduction manuals, if you will) can be grouped into 3 classes. Meaning that when you hear one seducer advise one thing, and another seducer advise something completely different, it does not necessarily mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

Instead, it most likely means that two groups of seducers who seem to be in disagreement with each other are in fact following separate seduction manuals – each of which are legit.

As you’ll find out later in this article, certain classes do have conflicting ideas concerning the best way to seduce women. However, this knowledge of the 3 classes really helps to clear up a lot of the confusion that might arise when everyone seems to be contradicting each other. It’s not a matter of which seducer is right or wrong, especially if both seducers are having success with women; rather, it’s which class each seducer is operating under.

What’s more is... once you are aware of these 3 rough categories, you can weigh their pros and cons, the goals of seducers whose methods fall under each category, and what your dating life could look like should you decide to follow the path outlined by each class – allowing you to move forward on your journey as a seducer with a lot more clarity.

Let’s have a look at the 3 classes.

“You shouldn’t do this” – there’s no better way to get someone to do it than to tell her not to. Here’s how to use reverse psychology in dating and relationships.

In a comment on my article last week about orgasm anchoring, a reader named Edgy asks:

“Hey Chase! Any perspectives on how reverse psychology ties in with seduction?”

... and absolutely; it’s a real fun topic.

(aside: apologies for my delays on responding to comments, by the way. We’re doing a reshoot of several of the One Date lessons in May + shooting a bunch of other stuff, and all the logistical, writing, and managing prep for that has left me even less time than usual. I will get to comments, though!)

The gist of reverse psychology is that you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to think, feel, or do. “Do not push!” written on a button, for instance – you can’t help but want to push that button, just to see what happens.

In terms of dating and relationships, that might mean you tell your date or girlfriend to do the opposite of what you in fact wish her to do. Or it might mean you act like you support the position opposite the one you hope she herself will choose.

Before you think this is some passive-aggressive way to get your way, think again. It’s a quite powerful psychological device – and you can use it in a variety of ways.

Situational awareness makes a huge difference in your ability to meet and connect with women. You must notice the right things – and filter out noise and distractions.

Today we are going to talk more about state. Previously we discussed what is was – primarily a social and sexual state – and how it can be useful to be in such state when out meeting women. We also discussed how to get into and manage this state.

What we will discuss today is a topic that has not been discussed much in this scene – awareness. I will explain what I mean by the term and how it is useful. That said, I know some of you become skeptical when one uses terms such as “awareness.” This is partly due to the term being vastly used in spirituality and other similar stuff. Whether or not you believe in such things, I can tell you right now that this post has nothing to do with that. In fact, what we will cover is actually rather practical in nature.

Besides feeling slightly social (but not too much, as we discussed) and preferably sexual (in order to sub-communicate sexual intent), I find the most ideal state is to be relaxed and aware. Think of a Zen-like state, where your head is clear and you feel calm, and you see everything going on around you. It is like seeing the whole world from a third perspective. You see who talks to whom, you see who knows whom. You also see who is attracted to whom. And more importantly, you easily spot who is looking at you.

You also easily spot girls who are logistically available. Think of a girl standing on a podium attention whoring verses the girl sitting alone in a corner. Or let us say you are inside a noisy club and happen to prefer using verbal seduction. Suddenly you spot your favorite girl grabbing her pack of smokes and heading outside. That is the time when you wait a minute and “coincidentally” go out for a smoke/fresh air yourself.

You’ve heard it’s good not to eject too soon with a girl you’ve just met. So when SHOULD you eject? Any of these 7 times, as it were.

Slightly more fun article today.