Emotions

You could have a woman seduced and ready to have sex. You two could even be naked in bed. But certain self-esteem issues can still make her bail if you’re not careful.

A woman’s self-esteem is one of her greatest assets – and it’s perhaps THE most important emotional state to keep in mind when pursuing a woman. It is self-esteem that is the root cause behind the notion of auto-rejection, the notion of reputation management, and even the role of backward-rationalization in the dating process.

“Do you really find me attractive?”

“What if the sex is bad?”

Quite simply, self-esteem plays in to how much a girl likes you based on how much validation you provide when you’re with her. And since almost no woman wants to feel bad about herself, the better you can make a woman feel, the more she’ll start to see you as a guy who makes her feel good about herself.

My purpose in this article series is to make you aware of different ways your seductions can go wrong – at any stage – if you’re not careful to manage a woman’s self-esteem. How a woman feels about herself with you determines how she feels about being with you and having sex with you.

And just to note before we get started, this is different from teasing and playful banter, which can be good to spark attraction and create sexual tension. What we’re talking about in this article series is how some things you do or say can make her bail on a date (or even from your bed) because she doesn’t want to risk damage to her self-esteem.

Sexual shame can debilitate you in bed, or make you fear intimacy (or feel bad about it after). However, there are 3 effective methods to overcome it.

On an article of Tony Depp's about reasons guys can't get laid, reader Anonym requests a piece on sexual shame:

"Hi,

you wrote "I was surprised how many men were ashamed of their sexuality." I wonder why do you wonder. The question for me is how can someone not to have sexual shame? What is more interesting that although this is a big topic which deserves series of articles, there are almost no articles about it on GC. There are many great detailed articles about huge amount of topics, but not about this sexual (and emotional) shame. There are articles about how to sexually liberate women, but not about how to sexually liberate yourself. I believe this is a big problem for many men, whatever the reason might be (conservative family background, religion, emotional traumas or feminist campaign against sexual violence). Perhaps an idea to consider. I believe I am not the only man who would appreciate it.

Thanks, Anonym"

I liked the topic. So I guess I beat Tony to the punch here.

There are, very roughly, two kinds of shame associated with sex:

1. There's sex regret, in which an individual has sex, then feels bad about it after. Sex regret is where you do the Walk of Shame after a night with someone you kind of wish you hadn't spent the night with, thinking back.

2. And then there's true blue sexual shame... in which an individual feels embarrassment often even so much as just thinking about sex, let alone pursuing it/engaging in it.

These two kinds of sexual shame are different sides of the same coin. Some part of the individual believes sex, or at least the sex he's thinking about or engaging in, is wrong.

Because he feels it's wrong, he feels ashamed to have engaged in it... or to have considered engaging in it.

In other words, sexual shame is the guilt or embarrassment an individual feels after engaging in a sex act, or when considering sex or being around something sexual in nature. This shame or guilt traces in most cases to a religious or ideological upbringing that implicitly or explicitly portrayed sex as 'dirty', 'irresponsible', or 'wrong'. Sexual shame, unaddressed, can lead to side effects that range from sexual dysfunction to depression and self-doubt.

If you're reading, I assume you don't want sexual shame.

Today we're going to talk about what causes this shame. We'll talk about the effects it has.

And then we'll discuss what you can do to free yourself of it.

Want to learn humor that makes you friends and gets you laid? You’ve come to the right place. Here’s a crass and thoroughly offensive lowdown on how to be funny.

Whew, lad. This is going to be fun.

Me talking about comedy is usually a dangerous topic because I have very poor filters. I have zero limits on what I’m willing to discuss.

When I started to write this article, I was going to stray from super contemporary topics, but I couldn’t resist. It just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t address some current ideas, and I’d feel like I was no longer being neutral, but outright cowardly.

However, I’m also not a culture warrior. I will briefly discuss culture, but in a detached way. MY philosophical/political leanings are pretty clear if you read my articles, but that doesn’t matter here. I’m simply going to discuss humor.

If you don’t agree with me on what’s funny and feel like getting testy in the comments, then attack my ideas about humor, not my choice of humor.

If you come across this article and are itching to find something to offend you, there will be plenty of that in the clips chosen and the topics covered.

I’m here to teach you the structure of how to be funny, and that will require me to use examples of what I find funny.

I’ll be scholastic with this article, but if I have to make some long apology or explanation to every demographic that might get butthurt at my words, it would be dreadfully boring, and you’d want to kill yourself before you finished the article. (See? Suicide joke. Strap on your panties, there’s more to come.)

You have been warned. All offense or outrage that you may experience by scrolling down is your responsibility and your responsibility alone.

Now, to the good stuff.

Every man's actions when socializing are guided by 1 of 3 core aims. The wrong aim can sabotage him in social situations… but the right aim will give him wings.

When a man goes out to meet women, he has a certain aim he takes with him. That aim might be a conscious one; an aim he knows he has. Or it may be unconscious -- he doesn't know what his aim is. Yet whether he knows it or not, he carries that aim with him.

The aim a man takes out with him colors his experience. It colors his actions and behavior while out. And it colors his perception of what happens while he's out too.

The right aim leads to progress with women, as a man hones his abilities to socialize or familiarizes himself with new venues, types of women, or techniques. Or the right aim might lead him to a lot of fun. Or to get dates, get laid, and meet a future girlfriend.

The wrong aim leads him to a disappointing outing. On the worse end, he may end up depressed, disappointed, or beating himself up over the outing. This happens when he has an aim -- conscious or not -- and fails to achieve it.

If he takes the wrong aim with him too often, and fails to achieve it too frequently, it can tank his morale and cause him to give up. Most guys who quit the game do so because they spent too much time aimed at the wrong place.

There are three easy-to-identify aims a man can take with him out into the field. All other more complicated aims boil down to these three. Two of these aims are self-focused, while the third is other-focused.

In this article, I'm going to argue that too many men go out with other-focused aims when they should take self-focused aims with them instead.

I'm also going to show you how many naturals and men who are good with girls go out with very different aims than what most less experienced, more aspirational men take with them.

To avoid boring people out when they ask a question like “What do you do?” try answering the question without really answering it.

Learning the nuances of the most basic social norms is something most people don’t give much thought to.

In college, I remember spending a lot of time contemplating how to respond to that weird “Hey, how are you?” exchange that happens when you pass someone you know. Most of the time, they say “Good, how are you?” and don’t even listen as they walk past. Responding with “Good, thanks” is a necessary but useless response.

How do you make those interactions more interesting and less awkward?

I took the time to figure that out, and it helped a lot.

The same goes for the question, “What do you do?”

If you approach a lot of girls – which you should if you want to get dates, sex, and girlfriends – then you’re going to hear “What do you do?” a lot.

It will also come in other forms.

“What do you do for work?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where do you work?”

Your answer won’t change much, regardless. As long as you understand the basic root of what they’re asking, answering is simple.

So, what’s going on when someone asks “What do you do?” and how do you respond to it in a way that makes you interesting and cool?

Here are nine ways to do it without giving the typical, boring answer of what you actually do.

First, let’s go over why it’s boring to tell girls what you do – most of the time.

Think women are crazy? If so, it’s probably because you’ve dated one. Fact is, beneath their seemingly emotional disarray, you’ll find a high level of rationality.

Men like to complain about how emotional and irrational women are. We even hear many of those claims in the seduction community and its neighboring communities – e.g., the Manosphere, the Red Pill community, etc.

“Women are feelz before realz.”

“Chick logic.”

Some of these guys even brand women children who are incapable of making adult decisions based on logic and reason. Here at Girls Chase, we know better.

Women are emotional, but not irrational. In fact, they are far more rational than you can imagine – when it comes to what’s important.

Put another way, women are guided by their emotions, but that doesn’t lead them to make as many stupid decisions as you might think. That’s the real accusation behind men calling women “irrational,” isn’t it? That they are less capable of making sound decisions?

Let’s be clear – there is some truth to the claim that women are less rational than men. Men are the leaders of our species, better equipped to make hard decisions like where to eat dinner or how to defeat an army. But when it comes to sexual selection, women are vastly more competent than men. That’s why 80% of women in history have reproduced, whereas for men, that figure is below 40%.

The emotion-based behavior of women leads them to be vastly more successful at sexual selection than men, which makes them highly rational, since sexual selection is one of the most important decisions – perhaps the most important – that any human can make.

Thus, I would argue that women are not irrational. They’re simply designed for different purposes than men and perform their purpose well because of their emotional nature.

We all know that communicating emotion is a critical element in attracting women. But how does one make her “feel” in the 2-dimensional world of texting?

Texting fundamentals – I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while now.

Texting has many layers we can explore in a scholastic fashion. This will be a nerdy article for some, but it needs to be technical, or the advice won’t be as helpful as it could be.

Let’s start with emojis.

To understand how and why emojis work, let’s go through a few basic concepts of text game.