Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

How to Not Be Shy


You know the feeling – the one where you see a group of people laughing about a movie you love or getting excited about an overseas location that you know like the back of your hand.

But there you are, standing on the outskirts of the group. Maybe you have a drink in your hand. Maybe you have your hands in your pockets. Maybe you have you arms crossed. Whatever the case may be, you feel intimidated, uneasy, and possibly even scared about the situation at hand.

how to not be shy

You want to be a part of the fun. You know you have something to offer. But the prospect of approaching new people – or worse, approaching that beautiful girl across the room – is much too daunting for your brain to grasp. So you sit there. Doing nothing. Feeling awkward. And then you go home, not making a splash – not even making a ripple.

And you wonder to yourself: “Will things always be like this? Will I ever overcome my shyness and actually connect with people?”

Well, if you’ve been wondering about how to not be shy, wonder no more. I’ve put together a complete primer on how to overcome shyness.

Releasing Your Past and Helping Girls Release Theirs


Ever deal with a girlfriend causing drama by just trying to get her to forget it?

This can seem the expedient path, but rarely is it the most prudent one.

It is just human nature that we don’t want to forget the things that got the better of us. We dwell on the past to avoid getting bested again in the future.

However, in order to make sure the old wounds are not sabotaging us in the present, we have to remember that moving forwards is more important than reminding ourselves of the past.

girl's past

We get stuck in a perpetual loop after bad things have happened sometimes, and that is okay, but sometimes we just need a little help to step outside of those troubles so we can start seeing ourselves acting normal again before we get past it.

Girls are just like anyone else when it comes to the past because they don’t know how to address the same issues if faced with them again in the future. When they face them again they will gain a heightened awareness of how fragile their situation is and worry about it.

Most guys address these concerns the wrong way: they make promises, ignore the looming possibility of reoccurrence of the issue, and target her “focusing on the past” as the problem to be eradicated. The only problem with that is GETTING HIT ONCE IS ENOUGH to double the pain when hit TWICE, so a girl is going exaggerate the importance of the issue if it is ignored.

Girls often mention the past because they are afraid that a positive stream of events they are having will be interrupted by the same BS. In order to help girls move past this, don’t make promises, don’t ignore that it can happen again, and don’t treat her memory and caution as the problem.

Attainability Woes; or, Why Girls Who Like You Reject You


Commenting on “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”, TR asks the following about girls who appear to like you, yet ultimately sabotage their interactions with you due to hang-ups:

I've noticed that even though I can have an outstanding interaction with a woman that clearly likes me, when it comes to closing she may still sabotage herself. This usually happens with women much taller than I am, and though I have no doubt that she really likes me, I'm also pretty certain that the height thing makes her a bit insecure. These women consistently fall over hard for me afterwards (lack of control + attraction is dynamite) but they have that mental block that sabotages them more often than not.

Do you think you could post up a follow-up article on how to handle things like this? Perhaps it has to do with setting the right frames, or maybe it's just a matter of letting go and looking for the right girls instead.

This is a great topic, and it's something you'll run into repeatedly if you're out meeting women fairly often: those girls who clearly like you, are into you, are attracted to you... yet who just won't let themselves do anything with you.

girl likes you but rejects you

It's a disconcerting affair the first couple of times you run into it. "I can tell she likes me," you say to youself. "Why the heck is she rejecting me?"

Ultimately, the problem always comes down to the same thing: attainability.

And no matter how swell a guy you are, how friendly, likeable, or attractive, for one reason or the other, she just doesn't view you as all that attainable... and ends up auto-rejecting.

While you can't always prevent this, once you understand why it's happening you can avoid it sometimes - either by preventing the problem from occurring in the first place, or by recognizing when it is occurring, and nipping it in the bud before it becomes something more dooming.

How to Arouse a Woman


how to arouse a womanYou’ve approached a woman. You went up to her and joked around about her polka dot dress and vintage style. She laughed, and made further inquiry into who this intrepid gentlemen is. You begin to tell her about yourself and launch into a quality conversation.

You starting thinking to yourself: “Wow. This girl is really something.” She tells you an embarrassing story about how she peed her pants when she was a kid. This makes her seem so down to earth despite how beautiful you find her.

You two like the same music. You’ve traveled to some of the same places. You have similar life values. You think, “This is it. Finally, I’ve found a quality woman.”

You ask her out. “Hey, Julia, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you here…”

She replies. “Yes! I would love to!”

You’re elated. You swap numbers with her as your heart is pounding. Then you say your goodbyes, ready to leap out of your body with joy.

“It was great meeting you. I look forward to our adventure Julia!”

She reciprocates your goodbye: “It was great meeting you too! I look forward to going out… as friends.”

You stop dead in your tracks. You double-take to make sure you heard her correctly. Friends? Did she just say friends? How is that possible?

How is that possible? You did everything right, right? Wrong. In this scenario, you successfully connected with her, but you failed to arouse her.

Connection is an important component of arousal, but it’s far from the whole story.

So if you’ve ever found yourself in this – or a similar – situation, today I’m going to break down everything involved in how to arouse a woman.

Why Do We Label Women “Sluts”?


One of our discussion forum members started a thread asking whether, when surrounded by women decrying the slut label, he should be truthful to himself and state that there’s a good reason behind this label, or whether he should tell women like this what they want to hear (and what he probably needs to say if he wants to sleep with them): that he thinks such a label is totally unreasonable... even if this is being untruthful to himself.

That’s an interesting question, but one I think that the answer to (supposing your goal is to become a real “knock her socks off” ladies man) is a fairly simple “fake it till you make it.”

That is to say, you may think she’s a “slut” now... but once you’ve got a significantly larger amount of sexual experience under your belt, you’re probably not going to care one way or the other about what label fits her best. So might as well just act like you’re already there and get the girl in the meantime. You’ll be glad you did later.

women sluts

But that raised an interesting question for me: why is that newer guys and less experienced guys or, alternately, bitter guys (not necessarily the same as new/inexperienced guys), use the “slut” label on women... while more experienced guys who’ve made their peace with women’s sexuality don’t really care?

First Time Picking Up Girls? 3 Key Mindsets to Help


First time at a bar picking up girls or going out on a hunch? Here are the three things you should do to optimize your chance for growth... and a few things I would have done different my first time around if I could do it all again.

first time picking up

All three points I am going to share with you will serve to illustrate a deep principle at the heart of improving with women.

Whether it is your first time heading out or if you are just curious about how you measure up and if your fundamentals are good or not, there will be a few thought-provoking ideas to be found here.

Your Animal Side: What She Truly Needs to be Aroused


animal sideBehind the boastful brain and flashy neocortex of humans lies something much more basic, yet not fully understood. Like all other sexual creatures, we are subject to an instinctive, animalistic sexual desire, which guides us through our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex.

For other creatures, sex is quite simple.

One of our closest extant relatives, the Bonobo, uses sex quite frequently. They do not engage in sexual monogamy, but rather use sex in all manner of social interactions. They use sex as a greeting, for reproduction, and as a method of bond-forming between women inside a group. In short, they have sex, and they have it often.

This is a far cry from the typical human civilization. Questions of maintaining said amount of sexual activity aside, sex just doesn’t come as easily for us humans. We often place value in social status, mating with the correct people, and avoiding mating with those that would take away from our value, rather than add to it.

Even when you throw out any social status issues, sex just doesn’t come as easily for some men. Why is that?

“I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”


Four friends gathered together at a bar for a drink after work. As they sipped down their beers, the conversation drifted to talk of women... and their myriad troubles with them.

“I can’t get girls, bros,” sighed the good-looking man forlornly. “And it’s because – of course! – they only want to date guys with money.” He looked around at his friends, waiting for a response.

can't get girls because

“Hmph,” said the wealthy man, responding. “You think you’ve got it bad? I can’t get girls because they only want to date guys who are tall!”

“Pssh, that’s nothing,” said the tall man. “The reason I can’t get girls is because they only ever get with guys who are white.”

“That sucks, but you know what the worst is?” said the average-looking white man. “The worst is that girls only want to be seen with guys who are good-looking.”

The Top Mindsets of All Confident Men


A while back Chase wrote a fantastic piece on confidence called “Does Confidence Equal Success? Actually… No.” What made it a fantastic piece was its flying in the face of the conventional wisdom of people trying to give you advice with women telling you to “Just be confident!”

Now is confidence near the top of the list of things women find extremely attractive in men? Absolutely. But can you feign confidence? Absolutely not. Even if you fool a girl for a minute or two, girls can always sniff out a mere veneer of confidence from a mile away.

confident men

And as Chase rightly points out in his post, that’s where most guys go wrong. You can’t just fake confidence. Confidence actually has to come from somewhere – either from past successes or a solid foundation of belief, process, and efficacy in other areas of your life.

So how does one develop confidence? How do you get to be like those guys who can just go up to girls in the middle of a town square and just start joking around with them? How do you become one of those guys who are unfazed by rejection who and maintains a deep belief in themselves? I’ve been re-reading Steven Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” along with some other materials that I have found truly valuable during my own journey.

It is entirely doable. And today I’m going to show you exactly how.

Being Afraid Can Help You


So you realized something about yourself recently: you realized that life is slipping you by while you sit back afraid to take it by the horns. Well it’s time to turn that new outlook to your advantage!

using fear

Where you were once convinced by all the lines and ideologies that told you it was better to numb yourself from the fear of life and its uncertainty, now you know better and feel differently about things. Hidden in this new struggle is strength, and if you know why it exists and where, you might be able to figure out your own struggle a little faster.

And that’s why this article is here: to give you a start on finding strength in that struggle and your newfound connection with fears you never had before.

For the first time in a long time you feel a twang of fear, and you know it matters, and that makes more difference than you know.

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