Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

Why Do STEM-Educated Men Have a Harder Time Meeting Women?

STEM meet girls
Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?

STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.

Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?

The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.

The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.

Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.

Hung Up on Her Sexual History? 3 Steps to Not Be

sexual history
It’s easy for guys to get hung up on a girlfriend’s sexual history. Yet you can get over this if you choose to. To do it, you’ll use 3 steps.

Whenever we start dating someone new, we’re bound to soon discover a few facts about who they once dated and the amount and kind of sex they enjoyed, whether we like it or not. A new girlfriend will often tell us about her past, or we’ll end up asking about it. Either way, sometimes the truth can hurt. A lot.

Learning that a partner once enjoyed threesomes, had five sex buddies on the go at once, or has slept with fifty guys... this can be a hard pill to swallow. Some men are able to just forget about it. Some don’t care. Others slip into a whirlpool of self-torment characterized by OCD-like repetitive thoughts and emotions which they find extremely hard to shift.

You may have heard of this form of anxiety-ridden obsession referred to as “retroactive jealousy” or “retrospective jealousy”. In men this tends to be an anxiety about a girlfriend’s sexual past. In women it tends to be an anxiety over who their man was once in love with. There are genetic and biological reasons for this, but in this post I’ll be focusing on the former.

Now, not all men are willing to date (let alone marry) a girl who’s “been around the block”, and this is a perfectly reasonable position to take. But what if you’ve bagged yourself a great girl who’s wonderful in every respect, except you are bothered by her promiscuous past? Should you ditch her because she once used to enjoy hooking up with guys just for sex? Or, in later years, would you regret passing up on the possible love of your life all because of her past?

These are all points worth considering, because there’s nothing stopping you from moving on if you feel you can’t handle a girlfriend’s past or that you shouldn’t have to learn about it in the first place. Many guys hold this view, and some studies have shown that the more promiscuous a woman is or has been in the past, the more likely it is she’ll cheat when she settles down.

However, if you happen to think she’s a great girl in every respect but are obsessing about her “number”, then it might be worth trying to regain control of your thoughts and emotions regarding this.

If you want to start overcoming retroactive jealousy rather than be tormented by it, keep reading; in this post I’ll show you the tools necessary to learn how to get over your girlfriend’s past. The first step is to research and discover what causes a retroactive jealousy disorder in the first place.

Fractionation Simply Explained

fractionation
Fractionation lets you up desire, curiosity, and compliance. It’s also a fun way to handle objections. And odds are, you use it already.

I wrote a very long essay on the subject of fractionation last summer. In that essay, I used a real-life event (a “lay report”) and used it to cover fractionation – one of the MOST key concepts in seduction.

After re-reading that post, even though I still consider it one of my favorite pieces of writing so far on GC, I felt the need for a simplified version. First of all, the previous post is a bit too long; secondly, it puts a bit too much emphasis on the use of fractionation in one particular situation – the one from the story covered in that post.

Truth is, fractionation is so versatile. I am sure you are probably already using seduction techniques (either consciously or unconsciously) that are based on fractionation. Most good seducers out there use fractionation, and it is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful concepts out there. In this post we will cover what it is, in a simple, straight-to-the-point way – so that you actually get it.

When She Picks You, It’s Vital She Feels It’s Her Choice

In my article on how to take girls off their “scripts” (i.e., having them abandon whatever they’re doing or trying to do, and have them come be with you on your terms instead), a reader commented on a point of confusion:

Moreover, you’ve even written an entire article on “disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend”. But in this [article on taking girls off their scripts], you suggest that its best to make clear what you actually want (even if that is to be her boyfriend).

I understand his confusion. I should stress before we proceed that a big part of my approach with girls is to be inscrutable: I throw off conflicting signals so a girl can’t nail me down. Just when she thinks I’m a hookup-only guy, I ooze a little romance and her brain starts going crazy. “I thought this guy just wanted to hook up,” she thinks, “and yet he’s so romantic! Maybe it could be something more? What’s going on?! I can’t figure him out!”

This is the same type of mixed signaling you see characters like Simon in The Saint and Juan Antonio in Vicky Cristina Barcelona use (and that’s where I got it from, guys like this):

James Bond uses it a lot in his films. Christian Grey uses it. Every Byronic hero does, more or less. She thinks she knows what this guy is about... And then she doesn’t know what this guy is about. He’s so confusing. What is he about?

At some point, you have to let her figure out what it is you want though, and that’s the kind of ‘clarity’ I meant in the scripts article. She has to be reasonably certain that, “Okay, I think this guy wants to hook up with me,” or, “I think he wants to really date me.” The reason you want her to figure this out is because you want her to start imagining it. If before she was only in single-and-carefree mode, and you want her to be your girlfriend, she needs to think about becoming your girlfriend first.

This article is going to be about that. Or at least, some of that. Therefore, this one won’t be ideal for beginners... Since we’ll be talking about running, essentially, two kinds of game at the same time:

  1. One part sexy, bad boy hook up guy
  2. But also one part mysterious, inscrutable, romantic guy

You do not tell her you want her as more than a fling, or even imply it with words. You want her to read between the lines with you. You usually won’t tell her you want to hook up with her, either (unless you’re Hector. Or Romanian).

This clarity is all implied... Which means it’s never completely clear.

And the reason you never make it completely clear?

You want her to choose you, and feel the choice is her choice.

How to “Bubble” with Girls and Bait the Hook

bubble with her
“Bubbling” is when you draw a girl into an intense, curious conversation. To build a bubble, you must “bait the hook” to suck her in.

I was chatting with a colleague not too long ago – a fellow day gamer. He wanted to know how I got instant dates pretty much whenever I asked. He was having to really persist most of the time to get a girl to follow him, and instant dates were not very common for the guy.

Most of the time when we approach a girl, we'll find that she might have several different scripts that may be counterproductive to getting into bed with her that day (see this article). Only going for the women who have the same script as us is quite inefficient in the long run. This was one the main things I kept in mind when I was revamping my process at the start of this year.

So, after trying out several things, I've settled on a method that works best. Up until quite recently, instant dates were not a regular thing for me either. I would basically have to look for girls who were already somewhat attracted, and it would take a fair number of approaches to get any kind of regularity.

These days I can get it done efficiently with much less walking around and approaching woman after woman.

And more often than not, I can choose my woman from afar and get her to follow me on an instant date without a lot of hassle.

Today, I'm going to share my best tips for achieving this.

“Women are Evil”

women are evil
Tests, complaints, difficulty, and betrayal. It’s easy to see why some men think women are evil. But is what they do the product of villainy?

This is a sentiment we’ve seen various commenters, forum members, and passersby express over the years. That “women are evil”. They are bad, devious, snake-like creatures, not to be trusted. They are the Devil himself, in his most seductive form.

I addressed this to a certain extent a few weeks back in “A Few Thoughts on MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Ways.” However, I want to address it head-on in this article. If you have trouble believing any man could actually seriously think women are evil, here’s a comment from a reader named Neal on my recent article “You Only Get One Second Chance”:

This is actually a good article on the evils of women. Ah well, I got banned from Chase forums for making these posts. They were deleted too. The irony though is that my articles were really good, and were deleted, but they reoccur in some other form by authors here.

I’ll begin this article by stating that any man who places his trust unconditionally in anyone else than his mother or his father sets himself up to be made a fool. Friends may turn their backs on you, children may forget about you, mentors may give up on you. Women may leave you, scorn you, or humiliate you.

Which is not to say any of these people will do these things. Only that they might. There are plenty of men with friends who last a lifetime, children who serve them with filial piety, mentors who champion them ceaselessly, and women who never waver in their devotion to them.

But the men who’ve been burned, well, those are the men you hear from who stop by to educate you on how terrible the nature of this or that segment of the human population is. Friends are mere opportunists, mentors will abandon you, children are leeches, and women turncoats. They’ve seen the ugly side of things, and they’re convinced this is the true side of things. Anyone who says different is silly, naïve, trapped in childish delusions... or worse: a snake himself, slithering around sowing confusion so the party doesn’t end for all the other snakes.

In light of these opinions, in this article, we’re going to have a look at the nature of man. We will examine why men (and women) do the things they do, both in support of those around them, and to those others’ detriment.

The Beginning is the Hardest Part

beginning is hardest part
Why’s it have to be so hard to start something new? The truth is, whether it’s sports, art, business, or dating, the hardest part is at the start.

In 2005, the tire company I worked for considered me one of the best salesman in the district. Back in 2001 though, the first customer I ever served as a salesman had so little confidence in me (as a result of my obvious slowness, jitters, and uncertainty) that at one point she stopped me cold, looked me dead in the eye, and told me: “You’d better not fuck up my car.”

In 2006, I’d perform my music for people and they would flip out and tell me I should be on the radio. But in 2002, when I first began to make music, most of what I got was a barrage of hate, telling me my music sucked, I sucked, and (probably the most oft-repeated phrase I got), “Kill yourself, faggot.”

And in 2010, I was doing well enough with girls that I reached a point where my ideal girlfriend-quality girls became a breeze for me to get, and I knew if I went out and picked up hard enough, I could probably find a girl to take home (it might not necessarily be easy – a lot of that is down to luck... but doable). Yet, when I made my first real efforts to meet girls via cold approach in 2001, I failed so hard that I didn’t even try again for another 3.5 years.

I’ve watched a lot of guys get good with girls over the years, and most don’t suck as hard as I did at the beginning, or for nearly as long. Nevertheless, I share these examples to introduce a concept it’s important you get: that the beginning is the hardest part.

If you can get past this part, it gets easier and easier from there.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection

dating turnaround
A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula.

This is a firefighting post.

I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes.

On my article about screening girls for same-day lays, a reader asks:

About that girl giving massive iois and i didnt approach due to exams coming up.. Its difficult to go into social mode when you have your head in books all day since over a month. And to top it all off, she has gone cold.. typical auto rejection, which is my main sticking point for sometime now. She gave me massive blatant in my face AIs but i failed to take action. Price paid. Very frustrating. I have read all your articles on auto rejection.

[...]

Please come up with some technique to turn around auto rejection as its seems impossible once girls go in that territory. You advised value boosts and preselection to turn around auto rejections but would not those make us seem more unattainable and worsening auto rejection as she sees me with other girls and thinks she wasnt good enough? Thoughts?

I was reading your old forum posts and you said not to accept responisbility for her reactions as it make you seem weak. What in this situation when her ego is hurt? Will accepting responsibility that i wanted to come talk to her earlier but could not due to exams better the situation or worsen it? Or should i blame it all on her that its difficult to approach you as you have a lot of security around? ;) (Her parents or brothers are chaperoning her mostly). How about opening with i know i should have come earlier but.. ‘launching into reasons’? This seems like obsessing but i just want to get your take on it.

Is it better to go in as soon as you sense a girl is auto rejecting or give a time gap and re-engage later? And is it possible to turn around their opinions of yourself after ghosting for a while or once its set they see you that way whole life no matter what.. even years later?

Why doesn’t chasing work when the girl is AR? Shouldn’t her hurt ego feel relieved as being chased is an ego boost?

Auto-rejection. If you’ve just tuned in, that’s when a girl feels like she can’t get you... So rejects you before you reject her. It’s a response that lets her shield her ego from a guy she thinks doesn’t like or respect her.

It’s also one of the hardest issues to fix. Particularly if you’ve just met.

Yet, there’s opportunity there too. Because if you can fix the mistake, her passion for you goes through the roof.

Can Casual Sex Emotionally Satisfy You?

Hey guys!

Here is another reflection of mine. Lately I have discussed with other well-experienced seducers about “meaningfulness” in seduction – a topic that has really caught my attention lately.

What is the meaning of all this?

Many men tend to look at this in a very black and white fashion – as in either sleeping with lots of different women or settling down with one particular girl.

Truth is, it doesn’t have to be that black and white. This post will briefly discuss the pros and cons before covering an alternative to those forms of lifestyle – a lifestyle I and a few other seducers are discussing or even endorsing.

casual sex satisfy