Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

Why Your “Connection” with Her is Just Your Fantasy


Place: London
Time: 6:00pm

It was a Friday night in Leicester Square. I had a book in hand and was going to do some reading while doing coffee shop game. When I walked in I noticed a Mediterranean beauty sitting with a couple of her friends.

I walked up to her and introduced myself. From the moment I sat down I felt an instant connection with the girl. Our conversation hopped around topics like economics, adventure, and romance. Her friends sat there watching as we talked for forty minutes. I started to feel like what we were experiencing was special.

connection

She had to leave to attend a play, and she asked me for my name so she could invite me on Facebook. Wrapped up in the moment, I gave it to her without taking her number, and she said she couldn’t wait to see me again. We hugged, and she went off into the night.

I walked home in a joyful glee, excited, thinking about all the possibilities. I kept thinking about how easy and effortless it was to talk to her. I started to think that I would stop going out with other girls I was dating and focus only on her.

“I have a real connection with this girl,” I thought to myself.

When I got home, I quickly logged into Facebook. My heart sank. There was no friend request from her. I refreshed the page fifteen times and still nothing.

“I thought we had a connection...”

Chick Logic Explained: Why She Doesn’t Think Like You Do


Since pretty much the beginning of humanity, men have considered "Female Logic", or the female way of thinking, to be one of the greatest mysteries in the universe. Psychoanalysts, philosophers, and poets have all spent countless hours agonizing over this topic.

chick-logic

Well, the good news is that female logic (also known as chick logic) can be explained to men in a perfectly understandable way. You can learn how female logic works just like you can learn the functions of a computer or the technical specifications of a car.

First of all, based on what we considered in Chapter 1 with regards to Evolutionary Psychology, let's stipulate that every function of the human brain has an evolutionary purpose. The evolutionary purpose of female logic is to achieve two basic goals:

  1. To create ideal conditions for the procreation and birth of children, and ideal conditions to protect those children during their early years of development.
  2. To influence the men and the environment that surrounds her to give her and her children support and protection. This influence commonly manifests in behaviors that any guy would recognize as "manipulation." However, in this context, feminine influence may be seen as a positive force, used by a woman instinctually as a means to support human life.

A woman naturally achieves these goals by creating within herself a sense of emotional congruence. While creating such emotional states within herself, the woman is especially concerned with "how she feels right now", as opposed to a male-logic concern of "how A correlates to B, or how A is the cause of B." In psychologically healthy women, these will mostly be emotions of pleasure and safety. In other women, drama, histrionics, and hysteria serve a similar purpose.

In the following discussion, the reader should keep in mind we are not making any value or moral judgments. Emotional reasoning is very likely deeply embedded into humans, if not all mammals. Human males have simply evolved a further characteristic of being more able to easily suppress emotional reasoning, although the way some modern men act can makes you wonder.

Why Does Learning Something New Suck So Much?


We’ve all been there. We’ve felt frustrated, minimized, and as if we didn’t deserve to succeed. We’ve been in a place where it feels as if diving into a new world (like women, business, or personal development) is like being dragged into a confrontation with all the deepest cuts you’ve ever felt (hell). We’ve been smothered by it, we’ve wanted for it to let up, and we’ve blamed ourselves for not being able to let it go (as if it were an abusive addiction).

learning sucks

But why?

Why is it that in order to learn something new we let ourselves be pulled into such a desperate place?

Why is it that the process of learning to live with the awareness of a new set of threats runs us ragged?

Why do we give up that part of ourselves in exchange to LEARN?

Know Thyself: Breaking Free of Past and Present


If you want to move to the next level with women, you need to know a lot about them.

You need to know what piques their interest, what makes them comfortable, what turns them on, and what keeps them coming back for more.

But it’s not enough to know women. You need to know yourself.

know-thyself-pt1

This article is the first of two articles that focus on knowing yourself. In this article, I’m going to convince you that self-knowledge is a powerful tool for attracting women, both in the short term and the long term.

Then I’m going to point out a couple of areas where you might be neglecting your pursuit of self-knowledge.

It’s certainly not all abstract, philosophical, and ivory-tower. You could be neglecting something that has huge consequences for your romantic prospects.

Why It’s Important to Escalate with Her Fluidly


Today, let's talk making progress with women, and the kinds of progressions you can go through: passive and active.

There is a difference between passive and active progression. Passive progression is predictable, boring, and obligatory (not fun); active progression feels as if it can go places and change.

It is this difference and the fact that women NEED a man who is always actively progressing (yes, always!) that is why we need to "escalate" to just keep up. In order to progress in a relationship you must perceive a woman's desires and lead the situation to get to those areas.

escalate-to-stand

Typically the most obvious form of active progression or escalation is physical or sexual, but there is actually more to it than this if you are truly paying attention.

Escalation is not just about physical intimacy increasing over time; it actually can include approaching ANY desirable context for a woman that requires your effort or participation to achieve. Things like:

  • Open dialogues on important topics
  • Showing a greater tendency to forgive or accept behaviors
  • Showing a greater ability to perceive her desires and goals
  • More time and generous attention
  • More interesting dynamics

It is not merely about sexuality but in fact it's about the need to contribute to achieve mutual goals that will not just magically happen on their own.

The Genuine Man, Part 10: A King in Action


Welcome to the final article in the Genuine Man series.

We’ve covered all the mindsets, techniques, and fundamentals of becoming a genuine man – or at least the overarching principles, which include:

Now I want to show you what that looks like in action, or at least begins to look like once you hit this level. I’ll present many examples of my current genuity and actions and compare them to my former jerk procedures.

The Key to Nipping Girlfriend Drama in the Bud in LTRs


340Breeze had a comment about issues he was running into managing his long-term relationships over on Darius’s recent article about leading and seduction – here’s the excerpt of Breeze’s comment relevant to our discussion today:

... seems like women keep the hurt bottled up inside, and then women want to get revenge on me or hurt me because somehow my words hurt them (idk). My personality is such that I can’t easily control feeling the strong negative emotions when people who are close to me start acting like clowns, I get extremely pissed off for a little while, then after a few minutes I calm down. I don’t stay upset for long but some women seem to never ever let go of a bad feeling and cling to it with a death grip. And then some women are always testing, always poking and prodding, and always trying to say or do little things to try and get under your skin, and sometimes the shit they say or do is beyond the pale. It’s like they start drama for no reason all because they’re mad from 2 weeks or 2 months ago and instead of calmly talking about the issue and why/how they’re affected and coming to a calm solution, they let the negative emotions from the past infect their current and future feelings and subsequent behavior and I find it so hard not to say anything in response to their near-continuous shit testing.

girlfriend drama

This is, unfortunately, a scenario most men run into eventually in long-term relationships, and a primary contributor to everything from breakups to cheating to “betaization” (that is, males moving into the subordinate role in a relationship).

So what’s the problem here, and what do we have to do to fix it?

Seducing a Girl by Leading the Seduction Dance


Do you know what separates just a good male dancer from one who women love and just can’t seem to get enough of?

They both need to be good at leading and know how to use their body to the music; the difference, however, is that a good dancer will try to show off his own “moves” while the one who’s being asked out to dance again and again will use leading to make her look amazing.

seducing

I remember an exercise we did when I started learning couples dancing, one dedicated to helping you understand how to lead – as a male partner you stand in place and while the song is playing you’re only using your hands to lead her and have her make the dance look great.

Can there be a more perfect analogy for seduction?

You extend your hand firmly to show what will happen next and even though she’s free to choose whether to follow your directions or not, if you do it right she will do so more often than not.

When she doesn’t it’s either because your extension wasn’t clear enough and she’s not sure what you want her to do or maybe she has her weight on another leg and the direction you want her to go would be too uncomfortable or even physically impossible to follow. Either that, or she simply doesn’t trust you enough to feel confident that you will make the whole dance look good.

At no point do you try to force her into a particular position though.

When she does follow through with your lead, all you have to do is stop for a moment and admire how stunningly sexy she looks while spinning, moving her hips, or gently falling into your embrace. Then you extend your arm and show her the next direction.

All this happens while you as a man stand firmly in your position.

5 Tools for Obliterating Suppression and Anxiety


A lot of guys who ask for help with women suppress the value of the advice they receive in order to avoid a tender issue. In this article I am going to discuss the tendency to suppress new information in order to continue with old habits and the unconscious anxiety that fuels this behavior.

suppression

It is about how suppressive behaviors empower anxiety into a chronic problem and inflate the ego so you never want to LEAVE.

How Your Self-Perception Can Make or Break Your Night


Early in my “career” I noticed a rather peculiar phenomenon – when I was out with guys (and gals) who saw me as a sort of master seducer (usually due to a combination of my image, behavior, and, occasionally, seeing my previous successes), I would find myself performing much better with women. Every single part of the seduction dance would become noticeably easier without any additional conscious effort on my part.

self-perception1

Would you like to guess why this happens?

Sure, being in a good mood because you’re hanging out or meeting people you like plays a significant role, and an occasional comment like “Oh yeah, he’s very experienced in bed” said jokingly in a group setting does its job to create a reputation of someone who knows what he’s doing.

But that’s not it; the change that makes the biggest impact turns out to be in our head.

You see, when I hang out with people who already see me as someone who’s successful with women and expect me to act like that, it puts a certain positive pressure and, in a way, makes it socially okay, even expected, to act sexually.

In turn, I would find myself assuming the role of a sexy guy who pulls women left and right, which, as we’ll learn later in the article, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy – cool, right?

Note that this is happening almost exclusively in our head and, more often than not, without conscious interference – a change in self-perception based on the environment.

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