Emotions

Men are supposed to be natural born leaders. They are supposed to voluntarily run into the throes of danger, protect all those who they hold dear, and, most of all, make sound decisions on a consistent basis whenever a challenge or dilemma presents itself.

But if this is what men are supposed to do naturally, why do so many men find it so hard to be good decision-makers? Shouldn’t it just come to them like second nature? Although some people may believe that decision making for a man is easy, all men know that it can be hard to make a decision – not because of the act itself – but more because we fear bringing about a negative outcome or not making the best decision we can in a given situation.

Most of the time when you ask people for advice on decision-making they just say things like: “Just do it!” But this isn’t really advice. Nor is it really useful unless you’re already decisive.

So how can we make ourselves more effective decision makers? That’s what I’m going to talk about today. I’m going to outline some important mindsets and techniques in order to make you stronger and more confident in your decisions and, more importantly, your decision process.

Note from Chase: this article was written by Alek in response to questions from several commenters. It is a clarification by Alek on his style; on why his material is angled the way it is; and on the difference between his advanced material and the motivation behind it from material geared more toward beginners and intermediates. Onward.

Learning to open girls, having some conversation skills, and being able to seduce a girl with your touch and eye contact and then lead her to a seduction location and close the deal is the blueprint to getting laid. It works fine and people get results from it (including me). These basics are all you really need in order to attract and seduce women. You don’t really need advanced techniques to get laid.

Some of the writers here at Girls Chase are only discussing the basics – as that is all they apply infield. For example, our dear Halvor Jannike has a more than satisfactory sex life, and when he goes out he only uses basic seduction techniques. He is not very talkative, so his seduction skills are mostly nonverbal. His style, his touch, and his eye contact are his tools. He knows how to lead an interaction from social to sexual. There’s nothing fancy about his style, but it works for what he’s looking for.

You can never work enough on your fundamentals, and that is why we will never stop posting about basic seduction concepts here, as they are your foundation. However, if you have goals that go beyond the usual, advanced techniques are often required.

In both the seduction community and the Manosphere, the term “beta male” is the diametrical opposite of the “alpha male”. He is also a contagious meme in the popular culture, but he is, contrary to the “alpha male”, usually referred to by folk terminology.

He is known as a “nice guy”.

As discussed in the previous article about “alpha male” and “sigma male” strategies, the term “beta male” is used in an imprecise way in the seduction community and the Manosphere, and I will thus not use it in the rest of this article. However, the almost synonymous concept of a “nice guy” is used in a rather consistent sense in contemporary society and it thus makes sense to discuss what characterizes him.

While there is much advice around on how socially dominant men behave and how to become more socially dominant, there is the problem that the advice usually only attempts to fix superficial behavior patterns of such “nice guys” and does not treat the underlying psychological conditionings that created the “nice guy” in the first place.

This is problematic because it causes incongruence, usually in the form of dominant behavior patterns that are in conflict with the underlying “nice guy” belief system.

There is also an incongruence problem in that a player lifestyle will generate reference experiences that are often deemed as negative in the “nice guy’s” belief system. This article will discuss how the “nice guy” has been conditioned and how the “nice guy” can recondition himself on multiple levels in order to become more socially successful. But first we will discuss why all these “nice guys” are around in the first place.

I’ve been exposed to relationships of all lengths, types, and sizes throughout my years on this earth. And through close observation, I’ve noticed that, although people think that their relationship is singularly unique, that is almost never the case. In fact, I may go as far as to say that that’s never the case.

Whenever I see a dysfunctional relationship, I pretty much see the same symptoms that I see and will see in every other dysfunctional relationship. And the same goes for the healthy relationships I see as well. So if you find yourself in a relationship, or even thinking about being in one, then let me give you a few tips about certain features I’ve noticed that every healthy relationship has.

In a nutshell, I believe that most relationships don’t have a strong enough trajectory of improvement. The partners in the relationships simply aren’t invested enough in growing the dynamic to be deeper and richer. They do so to a point, and then kind of let the relationship plateau, until someone inevitably becomes dissatisfied.

And because of this fact, I believe that most people are in relationships that aren’t right for them. This is a particularly troublesome problem in the West, where emotional intelligence is at an all-time low. People simply don’t invest enough time in understanding themselves and how they react and interact with other people, and, in turn, they don’t understand how to delve deep into the perspectives of other people.

So today I want to talk about how people and relationships can move toward having healthier and happier dynamics, because a truly fulfilling relationship can transform the way you live your life. However, most people just don’t know how to go about running that kind of relationship.

So without further ado…

In “Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets", a reader writes in asking about the desire to show off:

“Hey, Chase,

I would like to see your article on desire to show off. I have such problem in me that usually I want to be seen as awesome and seek for approval, but it is something that really fucks up with my goals, because I forget my stuff to do and chase approval of peers and girls instead. Such situation where I get flaky girls not responding, or rejections actually bothers me a lot and is extremely painful and I feel so stuck in seeking validation, so I’m insecure and this off putting, I know. Any thoughts?”

The desire to be impressive; it’s one that almost every man has to some degree or another.

Some of us have it on a grand scale, while others only have a tiny drop of it; but if no one cared about being powerful and letting all the world know it, action movies (and tales and stories) where the guy gets to save the day wouldn’t be nearly so popular in our time and times past, and dreams of becoming a star or celebrity would be far less common dreams to dream.

Yet, the desire to be impressive can lead us to some pretty ignominious ends:

• Crippling approach anxiety because we fear looking the opposite of impressive if we approach her and come off poorly or are rejected

• Inaction when we should take action, because we don’t want to risk making the wrong move, looking bad, and messing it all up, all of this leading to missed escalation windows and expired attraction

• A tendency for a great many men to require liquid courage before they’re even ready to start approaching, and a much easier time approaching anonymously in dark, crowded nightclubs (where it’s harder, the competition is fiercer, and the overall quality is lower) than on the street in broad daylight (where it’s easier, the competition is nil, and the overall quality is great)

• Valuing reactions over results, because buddies or disciples are far more impressed by hopped up antics that get girls clapping and screaming than they are by subdued conversation... even if that latter is more likely to lead to a girl in your bed
  

Plus all number of other success saboteurs.

How do we deal with being a showoff then – do we suppress it, or can we use it?

Note from Chase: this is a reflection piece by Alek on the redeeming qualities of the “be yourself” advice that I discussed as often harmful and distracting in my piece on it a few years back – primarily, Alek uses the phrase to discuss the importance of congruence.

The most famous dating advice there is “Just be yourself.” Often times, when men ask women for advice, this is the answer they receive. But does this advice have any desirable effects?

Most of us would say no. Good men have tried to be themselves without getting any results. Many of us would say that “just be yourself” is terrible advice, because it doesn’t tell us anything about what women are actually attracted too, nor does it inform us of any specific ways to attract them.

And then you have site like Girls Chase that give you guidance on how to seduce women. Without being arrogant, the huge amount of information on this site (and other similar sites) makes mainstream dating advice look like crap.

But is there any truth in “just being yourself”? In my opinion there is, and that’s what this post will be exploring. Keep reading and you might find some revealing facts. This one’s for all men dedicated to seduction.

It is taken for granted, as well it should be, that women respect strong men and detest weak ones. There is no way around it, and no amount of pretty, eloquent fluffiness will detract from the impact it already has on your life.

You see it everywhere: women throwing themselves at men with spines while trampling on those without and laughing in their faces.

Today’s article is not a discussion of strength in the physical sense – you can find articles on how to get in great shape elsewhere on this website. Instead, this is about a topic that I don’t often see discussed: being a man of conviction.

Some good Hollywood examples of men with conviction are James Bond and Han Solo; classic archetypal males who get the job done and get laid doing it.