Emotions

Blistering snow whips at your face. Your skin slowly cracks and numbs by the moment. And with every step, your body begs you to slow down and rest for just a moment…

But if you stop, you die.

Your tribe was just exterminated in a raid and you’re the only one who escaped. All that remains is you and your will.

No one is here to save you.

You are all alone.

Recognizing your desolation and loneliness, water pours from your eyes, granting everything in your sight a glow that you hadn’t noticed before this moment.

Intrigued by the perspective, you stop, disregarding your impending death, and observe your surroundings.

Despite the truth that your life has been stripped to pieces and everything is rapidly killing you, you drink in the world with no prejudice.

Curious, you stick out your tongue and taste the tears and the snow. Just the same. Just water.

You notice that, while the cold hurts, it’s just a feeling. Yes, slightly less satisfying than the warmth of your campfire and the embrace of your former lover, but, nonetheless, still just a feeling.

The fear slowly fades – you recognize that the “world” is just a lot of individual elements reacting on their own to the rest of the elements, no different from you.

A smile creeps upon your lips.

The rest of existence is just as lonely as you are.

Purpose fills you, and you resolve to continue walking.

The cold air still stings, and the tears continue to roll down your cheeks, but your sly grin propels you to a nearby grove of trees where, for one more night, you choose to persist in this life.

On the Girls Chase forums, one of our members named Godsninja shared a sticky situation he found himself in after getting an unpleasant response from a girl he’d traded numbers with and planned to set up a date with. Here’s the gist of it (full post here):

“I got her number and a few days later followed up with our date plan.

I don’t believe I got a text back from her, but I did get a text from another number claiming to be her fiance. Keep in mind this was several months ago, so I don’t remember how the text conversation went, but I remember I was very assertive, and after a few texts back and forth (finding out her fiance is a she), we stopped texting. I stopped texting cuz there wasn’t really a point.

It wasn’t anything serious, kind of awkward, but funny. It started out a little serious but I think I remember suggesting we all have a date together bahah.

...

I was sitting in my car a few hours later and got a text message from an unknown number (her supposed fiance) telling me that I’m an idiot, a stalker, and that she is “gun a go tell/call the cops”, so I told her to go fuck herself because she doesn’t know shit about me, and to come out to the parking lot to ‘talk’. She then reminded me that she was a girl, and I told her she would probably end up kicking my ass anyway. I told her I was really sweaty, and that I’m a good kisser, but I won’t tell anybody. She never replied so I sent a last text telling her not to text me anymore.

After the weekend I got an email telling me I had to attend a non-optional meeting with the Manager of Student Rights and Responsibility. I was reported for intimidation and sexual harassment.”

In this case, this was a pretty unfair situation for GN – he made his approach, took a phone number to set up a date, then got into a nasty text exchange from an unknown number by some person claiming to be this girl’s ‘fiancé’ whom he suspects was actually a female friend or acquaintance of this girl he’d approached.

When he ran into the girl again a semester later, he greeted her, knowing she was familiar but not knowing who she was. As soon as he remembered, he laughed about it, and, not wanting to get sucked back in, bid her adieu.

A few hours later, he received a highly confrontational text message – and then took the bait and got into a texting battle. In the end, the ‘fiancé’ (or whoever s/he was) reported him for ‘harassment’ to the university, railroading his focus and studies – he got off with a warning, but the instigators of the whole thing (the other two people) saw no consequences themselves whatsoever.

Situations like this are rare – you can approach 1,000 girls a year and something like this will only happen to you once or twice, maybe.

However, how you deal with such scenarios can make all the difference between letting awful people like this have a really bad, negative impact on your life, and preventing them from having any meaningful impact at all.

The vast majority of people in the world operate under the belief that they are good enough. Since birth we’ve been fed ideas that we are perfect just the way we are. Doesn’t matter if you’re skinny, fat, awkward, or have a bad temper; it’s just your personality, and you can’t just change that. After all, we’re all unique – all 9 billion of us – which leads to the conclusion that there is at least one person who will love us unconditionally: our soul mate.

But, if I’ve found you here, reading these words, it implies that you understand that love – real, passionate, sex-driven love – is not the same variety of unconditional love that you receive from your mother. There’s something different about it.

Women aren’t going to want to sleep with you because they see you as their soul mate, they are going to want to sleep with you because you are attractive. It’s because you lead them decisively towards the bedroom, not because you are her one and only special someone; not because you were destined to be together.

However, understand this as you may, there is a chance that this knowledge has fooled you into being something that you are not. Those ideas that we’re consistently fed that we are good enough are hard to let go of, and in the face of action we often would rather make up lies to make us feel as though we are that attractive man who can lead decisively.

Which, in the end, is just another way of saying you are perfect the way you are.

You bought into the idea without even meaning to.

In order to relinquish control of the little white lies that you tell yourself, you must actively wrestle control of your ego. Yes, your ego, because after all these years of messages that you are fine the way you are, you must understand that something in you has to change before you are to obtain the results you seek.

Many men who learn seduction get to the level where they get laid, but very few reach their full potential. Why is that so and what can we do about it?

This article is only directly relevant for intermediates and up, but I would still recommend everyone read it. Knowledge about potential future traps enables people to avoid them in advance and do fewer stupid things to themselves and others in the future.

Have you ever had a night out with a girl that really made you feel like a man?

If you are anything like me, it made you feel like you could conquer mountains. All the amazing things about being a man are amplified tenfold when a woman helps you remember that you ARE indeed a man. It is an intoxicating mix of sensations that helps you notice the contrasts of life that at other times blur together, and it releases all that dopamine and those feel-good hormones that make you feel like you have purpose.

You appreciate the fact that you are a man, and it rouses a deep sense of pride in you.

Having her on your arm, laughing, smiling and trusting, you strengthen your sense of self like nothing else.

Now imagine that all these effects also happen to a woman when you help her to feel like one. On a scale of one to ten, how likely do you think it is she will give you her number, a date, a kiss, follow you in a sexual relationship? Will she hold up limitless resistance and string you along? Forget about it! She would not waste an OUNCE of that perfect feeling. She will want to breathe you in and be intoxicated by this world of womanhood you have allowed her to enter, and she will be grateful.

Women are truly beautiful creatures, and this is never more apparent than when you are a man who can make a girl come ALIVE into her womanly whiles.

In “When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)”, a reader writes:

“You have some vague guides on believing certain things as well as some articles on what you should believe. You have some important ideas like independence and having conviction spread out throughout your site. What your website really lacks though is a guide to psychological strength. What it is, how you get it, why its more important then fundamentals (or at least as important). Many of your articles peripherally address this concept. What do I mean though by psychological strength? A great question, I’m glad you asked. I love concision so I’m going to describe it in two words. Irreverence and identity. I believe that true leadership and independence only comes from uprooting everything that influenced you in your past. Deconstructing your beliefs. Consciously assessing all your beliefs and finally replacing your previously held beliefs with new ones. These new beliefs are what give you conviction in your life. You form a new belief in yourself, a self-concept, self-respect, and self-adoration. Finally leading to self-actualization. It starts with irreverence and a challenging mentality of everything and finishes with an identity.
Ciao”

I have considered writing on this topic before, but shied away from it because I honestly don’t think it’s something that most people aspire to.

It’s also not something I have consciously learned to any degree, which makes me skeptical of its teachability – I don’t generally like talking about things that in my case are more natural ability than they are adopted qualities.

However, I suppose it’s at least worth having up for anyone curious for curiosity’s sake, so heck... why not talk about it.

Caveats out of the way then, allow me to present the psychological qualities of irreverence, personal conviction, and psychological independence – and how you perhaps may develop them if you choose to.

Last week I wrote a post about How to be Passionate. That post was focused on becoming passionate with women, with work, and with life in general by generating an internal understanding and system in order to bring about greater awareness, curiosity, and appreciation for life.

So it’s only natural that I follow that post up with one on how to be optimistic. It seems that optimism has taken over the general zeitgeist of the West (perhaps even to a fault), and that literature, teaching, and educational/inspirational talks are all focused on the power of optimism and how to become optimistic yourself.

Although I do not believe that optimism is a cure-all for any state of existence, it has been proven that people who are optimistic tend to be more successful in life and generally healthier in body as well. And it doesn’t really hurt to have the ability to look at a situation and learn and grow from it.

So today I want to talk about how to become optimistic. And don’t worry, this won’t be one of those “feel-good” kinds of posts where I just stroke your ego and tell you how special you are. We will discuss real practical steps and mindsets (as I always do) in order to boost your sense of optimism and general life satisfaction.