Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Pick Up Girls When You're Broke

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pick up girls broke
No woman wants to be with a broke guy. Or does she? With a few adjustments, it's easy to do fine with girls, even when you're broke.

In my recent article on limiting beliefs, a reader named Dr. Klas asked:

"Hey Chase,
Thanks for the article — very in-depth as always.
Now, I have this limiting belief “When I’m broke, I can’t get a girl”. Since you haven’t really written an article on how to get a girl when broke can you please address this issue.

I find that I’m usually depressed when I’m broke and I just close off — or reject myself even if a girl likes me. But when I’ve got cash, I do a whole lot better. Is it a matter of self-esteem?

I don’t know why this is or what to do to prevent this. Should I just tell girls “Hey, I’m having a hard time at the moment” or “I’m broke, I can’t do X”.

What should be our response and behavior towards women when we are broke? I think a lot of guys will appreciate this."

Okay, sure. This is something I've talked about a bit in the past -- picking up girls when broke or unemployed -- but haven't gone in-depth on.

It actually is pretty closely related to the limiting beliefs concept too, because a lot of what seems to hold men back from doing well with women when broke are limiting beliefs (like Dr. Klas's).

One reason I haven't gone as in-depth into this topic before is because there are multiple routes to 'broke'. One is to start out not-broke, then end up broke, which was my route there. The other way is to start out broke and just always have been broke. I don't have experience with the second route, though I've known guys who have been that and have done quite well with women. I can talk intelligently about the first route though -- and I'll try to make the points there as applicable to the guys who get there via the 'started broke' route as possible too.

Why Getting Tables and Bottles at Clubs Doesn’t Get You Laid

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Getting Tables and Bottles at Clubs Doesn’t Get You Laid
Do you go to clubs and feel you can’t compete with dudes who get tables and bottles and have hot women sitting with them? Well, you shouldn’t. Here’s why.

Many times, when I head out with a group of guys, I see that many of them feel inferior to dudes with tables and bottles of champagne and whatnot. Normal guys feel these men have an easier time getting laid because they usually have more female company.

And here you are, a chump with a bottle of cheap beer in your hand. How the hell are you going to compete with those guys?

Well, here’s the thing. I don’t consider having tables or bottles to be an advantage when it comes to getting women in bed. The only advantage those guys do have is the confidence kick they get from having so much – i.e., other people seeing them with a bottle gives them an inflated sense of value.

The idea that bottles or tables equate to high status or easy women is a false perception that clubs use to make money. They’re just using lizard-brain marketing triggers that get you to hand over more of your money. It’s a bit like traveling first class on a plane – sure, it can be worth it sometimes, but the folks in coach still fly just as far.

Clubs need to make money, so I don’t blame them, but I have noticed that many guys – especially in higher-end clubs – start feeling very insecure when they see guys with flashy bottles of crappy champagne. In that moment, they’ve already lost. Coming off as insecure or inferior is a terrible angle when attracting women. That is why men struggle in high-end venues.

It’s also why many men tend to avoid these venues in favor of more relaxed, easygoing places – because they are more egalitarian in nature. However, those guys will be missing out on a ton of hot girls. High-end venues not only have hotter girls, they also have more girls.

So, perhaps it’s time to cure that inferiority complex. I'm sure you need more convincing, of course, so let me explain why I don’t consider having a table and bottles to be an advantage.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.2: Playing for Self-Preservation

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

red-black game playing for self-preservation
“Speak softly, and carry a big stick” was Theodore Roosevelt’s suggestion for how to play the Red-Black Game. Let’s talk about why it’s such a great strategy.

In my first article about the red-black game, we covered the mechanics of the game and how the choices involved reflect those we make in life.

We spent a great deal of time analyzing the implications of choosing black, which we use to build support, generate enthusiasm, and win together.

Now let’s look more closely at red and how self-preservation fits into the picture.

We concluded that when it comes to internal issues, where you want stakeholders to win with you, it’s best to play black. Trust, collaborate, cooperate, and play nice but firm. Alternatively, when you have an external issue, where you see a threat that you cannot move to your side, it’s best to play red. Compete, defeat, and do whatever it takes to win.

It’s important to keep in mind that not all people are out for the same thing or have the same values at the same times. Sometimes, circumstances beyond the control of one or both parties make it impossible or impractical to partake in mutually beneficial models.

Unexpected changes in the wind, the market, or personal circumstances can lead to legitimate fear and mistrust in everyone. Mutual benefit is not always a matter of trusting other people in a relationship.

You could trust someone implicitly, but can you always trust the security of the underlying situation, and can you trust that circumstances won’t change? The one constant in life is change, so you should expect and prepare for changes throughout your life.

The Importance of Vibe in Attracting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

vibe and attracting women
Vibe is a HUGE factor when it comes to attracting women. Here’s how to tweak your vibe to more reliably spark attraction in girls, get them on dates, and into bed.

How important is maintaining a positive vibe when picking up women? Long story short, the difference in results between low-energy or moody men and positive-minded extroverts is night and day.

The best supporting data I know of is my own experience, which, as a dating coach, is varied and vast. But there are some case studies that convincingly illustrate the phenomenon, like this one about the “halo effect”:

 

In the video, two groups of women watch a dating proposal made by the same guy. But the guy makes two videos, one for each group of women. In each video, he uses the same script but with a different vibe.

He’s upbeat and expressive in one version, with good posture. In the other, he’s slouching, not looking at the camera as much, and speaking with a less-enthusiastic tonality.

The women who viewed the video with the upbeat vibe generally agreed they’d be down to go on a date with him. The other group, hearing the same script but with less positive energy, all declined.

Same guy, same script, different vibe (tonality, mood, posture, lighting). One video sparked no interest in the guy; the other sparked attraction!

Since attraction is the key factor here, let’s dig a bit deeper and discuss ways you can tweak your vibe to spark it.

12 Limiting Beliefs Men Have About Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

limiting beliefs
If you have one of these beliefs about women, it's holding you back... and you probably don't even realize it.

Each man sees the world in a different way.

Some of the differences between how one man sees the world and how the next one does are slight. Other differences, though, are extreme.

If a man holds the right beliefs, he unshackles himself to achieve success beyond his most fantastic hopes and dreams. If he holds beliefs that limit him though, he may stumble into great ravines on the road to wish fulfillment... or he may chain himself fast, so that he never starts on the road to fulfillment at all.

There are four types of limiting beliefs men hold:

  1. Inaccessibility ("I can't get/have what I want")

  2. Over-accessibility ("I can have that whenever I want")

  3. Transience ("Once I have it, I'm destined to lose it")

  4. Permanence ("Once I have it, or someone else does, it's forever")

Those beliefs boil down into two dimensions: one of accessibility, and the other of transience/permanence.

The most accurate belief sets abandoned these extremes. Men who succeed most stop thinking about the world in terms of the blacks and whites of beliefs like these, and view it as a vast world of gray -- a promising world of gray, with boundaries and limitations, but where most things are achievable, though not always easy.

Today we're going to talk about 12 common limiting beliefs men have about women and dating. Hang onto these beliefs, you'll make costly mistakes, or never get far with women at all. Wouldn't it be neat though, to be free of these beliefs -- and free to meet the women you want, date them how you want, and get success with them that seems out of reach to most other men?

The best way to overturn limiting beliefs is through action, because action is where you put your beliefs to the test -- and find out which hold up, and which do not. We'll talk about this below too.

We'll begin with one of the most common limiting beliefs: that girls like that are simply too hot for you.

Why Cuffing Season Is So Awesome for Single Guys (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Cuffing season.

’Tis upon us!

How does one take full advantage of this season when horny, love-hungry women are frolicking around looking for something... someone?

You get your fishing rod out, drop a line into the cold water, and start jiggin'. The fish WILL bite.

Whether you’re looking for a fish to last you a long time (a relationship), or maybe you just want to net some quickie fishies during the spawn, you’re in luck.

I'll teach you how to get both sex and relationships during this festive time.

Stop Assuming Other Men Are Better Than You

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

don't compare your success with other men
If you keep asking yourself why you suck so bad with women while all these other dudes are getting laid, there are probably some things you aren’t taking into account.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of posts to debunk common ideas that I believe are wrong. I decided to follow up with a problem I see a lot of men suffering from – and that I also struggled with.

That is when you start comparing yourself to other men’s success. You see them with girls and feel inferior. This happens especially when you don’t find yourself in female company. You start seeing these other men – either willingly or unwillingly – as superior to you.

It isn’t a good feeling, and it doesn’t result in any kind of productive mindset when it comes to meeting women – quite the contrary. You usually start experiencing this feeling when you have a crappy night. You’re already in a bad place, so feeling inferior creates a vicious circle.

This post is designed to debunk some common misconceptions, but it’s more of a fact check that will help you avoid harmful biases about your own and others’ success.

First things first – we shouldn’t care about whether other people succeed or not unless it has an impact on our own interactions. However, many of us do care.

Shari James | Treating Erectile Dysfunction (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we feature a show in development for quite some time with my first female guest – Shari James – who runs a successful coaching practice based out of Los Angeles, CA called Architecture of Pleasure to help men resolve Erectile Dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction is an epidemic among men. More and more guys suffer from it in the worst moments, and guys are trying things like Viagra and Cialis to get hard when they shouldn’t have to. I’ve heard of tons of guys who complain about ED, often at some of the worst times – like right before they’re about to have sex with a new girl.

In my own experience, having gone through this often during one period of my life (in my case, it was caused by deep emotional stress), one of the worst feelings in the world is to not be able to perform for a girl who just got into your bed excited to have sex with you. Oftentimes girls will re-rationalize that a guy actually isn’t that into them because he can’t get hard, and I often got instantly rejected after I had a girl in my bed, got ED, and it just kept on happening.

As we’ll soon see from Shari, ED is more common among guys than you think, and the sources of ED are many, ranging from excessive porn usage, to emotional and mental issues, to circulatory and nervous system functions, and also how guys control and release their sexual energy. I hope you guys enjoy this one, as it’s a common issue that few are open to talking about – especially with a woman!

Should You Go Out Alone to Learn Pickup?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

improve pickup/seduction game by going out alone
Lots of guys are horrified to go out alone when learning pickup/seduction. But once you get over your fear – and you will – you’ll see it’s the best way to get good.

I remember the first time I went to a club alone.

It was Montreal, circa 2007. I’d been into PUA stuff for about a year, taking little to no action other than reading blogs and watching YouTube videos, but I’d moved to Montreal for the sole purpose of mastering my game. I was determined and focused on fixing my sex life.

The only problem was, I didn’t have any friends or wingmen to help me. My normie social circle thought it was a weird and pointless hobby, so I said “Screw it!” and went out alone.

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
Steve Jobs

That night, I went to a hipster club in the Plateau. It was packed with pretty college girls, drinking, laughing, and dancing with their friends. I stood there and felt all eyes on me.

My internal dialogue chirped away.

“They’re all looking at you. They know you’re alone. Why are you here? You should talk to someone. But what would you say? Isn’t it creepy to talk to strange women? Maybe go home and try again tomorrow. Come back when you’re in a better state. You don’t have to do this. Go and watch another video about what to say to women.”

Blah, blah, blah. The ego never stops. It wants you to be safe and to fit in with the herd. Feeling the judgmental eyes of all these strangers, I pulled out my cell phone and pretended to talk. Yeah, I mimed talking on the phone. I even acted out a laugh. Yep, I’m not alone! I’m just waiting for friends! Ho, ho, ho… so much fun!

Eventually, I just gave up, walked out of the club, got on my bicycle, and pedaled my pathetic ass home. That night, I made a vow – never again would I go out and at least not try. The next night, I went out and felt those same pangs of terror, adrenaline, and self-conscious doubt. But I remembered my vow. All I had to do was try… so I did.

Tactics Tuesdays: When Dates Don't Work Out, Do a Post-Mortem

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating post-mortem
When a date or an outing doesn't pan out, use a post-mortem to figure out why. Give yourself clear action items for next time – and recover your emotions, too.

Your dates and outings won't always work out.

Sometimes they don't pan out at all. You go out and approach girls and all you get are stony faces. You take girls onto dates yet can never get past the polite zone. You bring women home and hit a wall of last-minute resistance.

There is one thing you ought to always do, whenever things don't go your way.

That thing is a post-mortem.

The term comes from the Latin for after death, and it's pretty close to how we'll use it here.

After your date, outing, or seduction has 'died'... after the whole thing is over (and not before), you're going to do an 'after death' review to figure out what within your control went well, and what to change next time.

This is so incredibly important to your learning and future success. It takes your progress with women and puts it on the fast track -- and all it takes it a little cognizance of what you could've done better, and enough emotion control to step back and look at everything objectively.