Investment

As we continue on with our relationship series, there are a couple of ground rules you might set for your relationship if you want to ASSURE smooth sailing, avoid relationship jealousy, and generally have a happy and productive romance. The best way to lay these rules is, as usually, not by explicitly stating them… you don’t want to give her a list.

“These are the rules, woman.”

Not so smooth…

Instead, use the power of frame control to convey what you value and expect from a partner. For example, you can bring it up in conversation, or you can inoculate against an undesirable behavior by telling her about another girl who behaved that way… and how that did nothing to further her relationship with you.

As I said, I believe the most important rule in any functioning relationship is that both partners be always honest with each other. At the same time, however, I recommend that you trust each other implicitly until there is a reason not to. It won’t improve your relationship if you’re constantly suspicious of her… and it won’t help your relationship jealousy any. Trust is one of the four pillars of a great relationship (more about that later on in our series).

And knowing how to maintain that level of trust – and avoid relationship jealousy – is what this article is about.

We’ve been talking a lot about love lately, including in the posts on how to not fall in love and answering the question should you say I love you. What I want to go into today is a focus on understanding love and how it works - more specifically, the chemicals in your brain that cause that temporary madness that comes over us when we find someone captivating, and the process we all go through as love matures.

The best book about this topic is probably Why We Love by Helen Fisher. Fisher is considered THE authority on the subject, and you would do yourself a huge favor by reading her book – it will really help you to understand a lot of what’s going on underneath the surface when we fall in love.

In the meantime, here are some of the biochemical substances that get released between two people who have a crush on each other:

Yesterday I made a post on the infamous scenario of when a girl has a boyfriend and you want to date her or get together with her anyway.

As you might expect (though I admittedly hadn't really thought about before making the post), some guys got upset and one of them responded with, and I paraphrase, "How could you?" (another one responded with a comment that wasn't as eloquently put and didn't merit posting)

How could I what, you might ask? Why... how could I share with men this forbidden knowledge on how to get girls who are already attached! Now, I get a lot of people asking myself to censor myself on this website - human sexuality is the single most controlled and censored thing in recorded (and doubtless before recorded) history, after all... we're all biological organisms, and the ultimate aim of all biological organisms is reproduction. Everyone and their brothers wants to be able to control the system, maximize their own abilities to mate, and prevent others from becoming or remaining threats to them.

But as luck would have it, I prepared a companion piece for yesterday's post on how to get a girl with a boyfriend: namely, one on how to prevent cheating; or, how to make your girlfriend not want to stray... and how to make her so crazy about YOU that no other guy will be much of a threat.

Do please note: we're going to take a walk down evolutionary psychology road, so if you have any reservations about wanting to open up the hood on relationships and see what's really underneath, this ain't the post for you. You have been warned...!

Note from Chase: we've had a lot of requests on the site recently asking for more information on relationships - and we realize that's a gap here. Only a handful of the posts on the blog deal with relationships, and none of the programs on offer here do. So, we're working on correcting that - I'm writing a relationship book that I'm quite confident is going to blow most guys' relationship thinking out of the water, and in the meantime we're trying to get more posts up on GirlsChase.com about the topic.

Ricardus has just sent me a batch of perhaps 7 posts dealing explicitly with relationships, and over the next few weeks I'll be getting those up on here. This is the first one of those posts, on "how to not fall in love" (at least, not too soon)... enjoy.

Tell me if you can relate to this…

You’ve met a girl that is somehow pulling all the right strings with you (…and if not, this article will teach you how to find, meet, get and keep her). You don’t know what it is with her (or maybe you DO), but she’s got your heart atwitter and your mind in a knot just thinking about her.

Your hard work has paid off… and you’ve hooked up with a girl who’s EXACTLY your type… both in terms of looks and personality.

Things couldn’t be much better… except, all the confidence and inner strength you had worked so hard to cultivate over the years are suddenly RIGHT out the window.

Maybe you’re even in a place where you know you could go out and pick up other girls if you wanted to, so it’s not an issue of scarcity (e.g., your girlfriend being hard to replace)… maybe you’ve had a lot of one-night stands, friends-with-benefits or open relationships before.

And in those situations, you’ve always been cool… coolio like Fonzie.

But around your new girl-friend, you’re suddenly weak at the knees… ESPECIALLY when something happens that gives you room for doubt… doubt whether she’s really as much into you as you are into her.

What causes this, and what can you DO about it?

Ever hear of push-pull? It's one of the more versatile tools you can employ to help you get girls more easily and reliably. It's also one of the least-understood tools out there... how many people reading this article right now can offer a clear, coherent explanation of what push-pull really is?

Probably not too many of them.

What push-pull is, though, is intrigue, attraction, and emotional spiking wrapped up into one package. It's a means of ratcheting up a woman's interest, and it's one entirely under your control and not dependent on any given prompt or reaction from her.

In other words, it's one of seduction's dragon slayers - one of the best ways you can transform women with noses in their air to women tearing down your door.

And it doesn't require that you have any special skills or abilities. Only that you have enough self-control to pull it off... and that's why it's so attractive.

Most men don't.

Let's begin by looking at why.

One of the hardest things for me to do when I first started out teaching myself how to seduce women was to give orders and command women.

"You mean, I'm supposed to just tell girls to do stuff, and then they're going to, like... do it?" I thought.

Impossible!

And yet, as I started meeting men in 2006 who were already getting the kinds of results with women I wanted, I watched in awe as they commanded women to do things... and the women just did it.

So, I started playing with that myself.

I began with women I knew well. Then women I'd been talking to for a while.

Then I started pushing the limits on my newfound ability to command women.

I started doing it with women I'd just started talking to. With women I'd just met. I even started giving commands to women as the very first thing I said to them.

And it just kept working.

As I went, I learned how to command women better and better, in ways that they instantly followed - voice tone techniques, specific ways of wording a command, and a lot more - that made it easier and easier to pull off seemingly ridiculous things with women I hardly knew. This post is about how to do what I learned to do when it comes to commanding women.

As I've involved myself more and more in the world of start up businesses, I'm finding myself increasingly involved in close relationships with dynamic, intelligent people who are accustomed to calling the shots... just like me. Inevitably, this leads to blow ups, power struggles, and all kinds of messy issues, very similar to the fighting in a relationship you see of the romantic variety.

I've been comparing a lot of what I've experienced here to the fighting I've gone through in my own romantic relationships and that I've witnessed in the relationships of friends, students, and others, and I've started teasing out some really interesting correlations.

What I'm realizing is that fighting in a relationship - everything from when women test men to a lot of the underlying rationale behind women and drama - arises out of a handful of required ingredients.