Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

Modern Marriage, Part 4: When Marriage Doesn’t Match Expectations


Gentlemen, welcome back.

Today in Part 4 we are going to take a look at:

  1. What can happen when marriage doesn’t meet your expectations,

  2. What (if anything) you can and should do about it when this happens, and,

  3. A couple of things you should never do.

Because, as we found out in Part 2, let’s face it: no marriages meet all of the expectations that are set for them.

marriage-expectations

The percentage of Americans who divorce has been above 40 percent even since 1970s. There are a lot of reasons that that number is what it is. Unarguably though, is the notion that the inability to reconcile differences is what eventually makes things come to a head and is why we divorce.

Is infidelity the reason you got divorced? Roundabout, perhaps, yes. But it was really more because a reconciliation couldn’t be reached.

How about a financial crisis? Can two people just become so poor that some crazy law says they have to get a divorce? No, it’s because they can’t agree on how to repair the problem (or they just don’t).

Your marriage is never going to be as fruitful and perfect as you think it will be, and you’re going to deal with a whole slew of life problems that affect one or the both of you. It’s not the problems themselves that cause divorce to happen, it’s the people not being able to deal with them that is the biggest issue.

So what exactly happens when you end up in an unfulfilling, dead-as-nails marriage that suffers from one (or a multitude!) of the more serious relationship-downers that we discovered in Part 3?

I found that when my marriage was getting to the point where it had seen better days that the toughest thing I had to deal with by far was the shift in the balance of power that occurred when I actually started to sense things beginning to go haywire in the first place, and started scrambling to make things “right” again.

The Ultimate “Get Girls on Dance Floors” Guide: Building Attraction


Welcome back to our series on dance floor seduction. Prior editions:

Previously, we discussed some theoretical elements of dance floor seduction. We also discussed how to get in mood, while focusing a lot on opening and selecting the right target.

Today we will start discussing the “attraction building phase”.

The Genuine Man, Part 9: A Nice Jerk?


Welcome back to the journey, broskis!

So after covering:

We tied all the lessons up and took a peek into the mind of a man who has reached an authentic strength that makes him a man who is in the top echelon of the world’s population – or at least will be soon.

genuine-acts

Now it’s time to understand why this man must have been born out of the pit of intensity, intimidation, and whimsical power.

What to Do When a Girl is Late for a Date


late for a dateOn our discussion boards, a member named killerman has run into a situation where girls are changing date times last minute, or otherwise being late for a date. Here’s what he had to say about this:

right there’s one thing that’s really getting on my nerves these days, and it’s girls agreeing to a time but then trying to change it last minute, then being late. it’s really getting on my nerves, but the thing is how do I express it without coming across as an asshole? i understand that sometimes things crop up but sometimes it seems they do it just because they feel like it. i cant remember a girl turned up to a date on time so maybe it’s their way of testing out guys? like maybe they do it on purpose to piss us off then see if we’re genuine by expressing our discontent?

What killerman wants to know here is how to express your disapproval to a girl at having her change times or be late.

What I’d like to use his problem for is to answer, in addition to his own question, a slightly broader one: what do you do when a girl is late for a date?

Do you get mad... or storm off... play it cool... or hang in there and wait... or, do you do something else?

The Healthy Relationship Questionnaire: Is Yours Healthy... or Not?


Many people wonder whether or not their relationship is healthy. They ask themselves:

  • “Am I with the right person?”
  • “Are we truly compatible?”
  • “Is this relationship headed in the right direction?”
  • “Am I making the right decision by being with this person?”

These are all valid, albeit difficult, questions to answer.

So today, I wanted to do something a little bit different. I wanted to flip the script a bit and format this post as a questionnaire. I’ve called it, oh-so-creatively, The Healthy Relationship Questionnaire. It is designed to show you the positive aspects of a healthy relationship AND the negative aspects of an unhealthy relationship, in order to help you gauge what kind of relationship you are in.

relationshipq1

The most important key here is to be honest with yourself about your situation. Now, that may sound easy, but there is something about love that seems to throw logic and clear thinking right out the window. But all I ask is that you do your best.

For each positive category you find yourself in, you will get one (1) point. For each negative category, you will get zero (0). At the end we will tally up your points and you can see the results as to how healthy – or unhealthy – your relationship may be.

So let’s get to it!

Escalation Series Pt. 1: The Logistical Timeline of Events


Last time, to celebrate your successful completion of the fundamentals of communication series, we grew our conversation outline to include what to say next – for now anyway ;-)

Applying your conversation outline during your interactions will allow you to internalize your fundamentals by diverting your focus from what to say next to what to do, and not do, right now!

In turn, this will allow you to determine which of your habits (read: subconscious instinctive behaviors) are effective, or ineffective, at helping you successfully escalate an interaction logistically, physically, and emotionally. Then, simply replace your ineffective habits of behavior with your knowledge of the fundamentals (read: effective behaviors) and experience the difference firsthand!

Escalation

In this new series, to gain a better understanding of how to effectively escalate an interaction from meet to mate, we are going to breakdown the process both logistically and emotionally.

As I explain this information, you will notice that some of it will seem very abstract, so I will attempt to give concrete examples whenever possible. However, at the same time, understand that the more experience you gain, the less abstract this information will become, as you will internalize these effective mindsets and behaviors.

So let’s get started!

Fundamentals of Basic Conversation II: Interaction Outline Pt. 3


Previously, we covered common mistakes to avoid that have the potential to hinder our success.

We’ve talked about the importance of having a conversation outline as well as a customizable conversation starter you can implement today with the girls you are meeting.

In the last article we explored how our voice, awkward tendencies, and early attractive conversation affect our communication with women. In this post, more concrete examples of effective and ineffective behavior will be discussed, as we discover the final three fundamentals of conversation. Those are:

  • Screening
  • Rewarding effort
  • Connection building

However, before diving further into the nuances of conversation, let’s explore the why behind the what and the how of communication in regards to attraction so we can better understand what makes our behavior effective or ineffective.

How to Sext & Get Racy Photos from Her (in Only 3 Texts)


Note from Chase: this article from J.J. is focused on a direct “how to sext” method that is different from and complementary to the more playful method Colt talked about in “Sext Like a Pro: Is Sexting Girls Worth Your Time?


how to sext

Before we get started I’d like to just point out that this article is geared primarily toward teaching how to sext your way to racy, naughty photos from girls for intermediate to advanced guys. It’s not so much that I think someone who isn’t on that level yet with women cannot pull this off, but rather that it’s easy to blow girls out if you don’t do it correctly.

If you’re at the beginner stage, or even just a hair past it, I’d caution against using this for the mere fact that you need to be making it as far as you can in each interaction so that you are able to rack up reference points and experience so you can improve with women faster.

Additionally (if you mess up while doing this), creeping girls out isn’t ever a good thing, and, if you’re trying to pull this off with women who live near you, there’s a good chance she probably knows some of your friends or colleagues. Don’t let what happened to Brett Favre be your fate.

Those caveats out of the way, let’s get right to this, shall we?

If you’ve overheard women talk about men who ask them for sexy pictures of themselves, I’ll bet the reactions they claim to have had weren’t very positive, were they? However, don’t be fooled by this chicanery; if I had to wager on it, I’d guess that about eighty percent of women (and a greater percentage than that the more attractive and mature she is!) possess at least a small-to-medium sized smut gallery stored away on their cell phones for this very purpose.

And, some would surprise you, as I’ve dated quite a few women who would send me nude photos all of the time.

If there’s a whole lot going on in your head right now about this... good. I’m going to answer all those swirling questions you have along with many more that you haven’t even conjured up yet.

What to Do When She Gets Back in Touch


Was chatting with J.J. yesterday about girls contacting you out of the blue with a, “Hey, what’s up! How are you? We should get drinks/coffee and catch up!” message, and what this means / the right way to play it.

gets back in touch

These contacts – whether by text, phone, social media, email, or what have you – out of the blue always seem exciting; they’re like free dates (or even a free hook up, if you’re imagining far enough ahead).

You get them and it’s, “All right! Score! This girl wants me bad!

And then... much of the time after you reply, you never end up meeting her.

All that initial enthusiasm she had to reconnect with you simply dies down and peters out.

That might seem irritating, or mysterious, or downright vexing to you – “Who can understand a woman?” you might say.

But it all has to do with those little things called ‘intrigue’ and ‘investment’, and what happens when you have too little of them – or, how things play out when you have enough.

When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)


ball's in her court “The ball’s in your court.”

You either love uttering that line, or you never utter it.

It’s a truly liberating line when you’re using it right – some girl you think likes you, or you think might like you, but who is being coy or difficult about coming out... you’re just going to fire that text off to her, and forget about her.

Or a girl you met somewhere social, but she isn’t accompanying you: “Come find me later.” Maybe she will, maybe she won’t.

These can be difficult things to say, and even more difficult things to adhere to, when you’re first starting out and chasing women is second nature. Even if you manage to tell a girl the ball’s in her court, you may find yourself texting her the next day anyway... or the day after.

And the other side is sometimes true too – you may find yourself shoving women off your plate too quick and too often, not wanting to deal with the sometimes-stressful dance that is seduction.

Perhaps that girl you told to get in touch with you later, who never did, would’ve gotten together with you had you persisted just a little bit harder in person or over text.

Drawing the line between when to persist and when to toss the ball in her court is a dicey call sometimes... yet it may determine the difference between you chasing after her and still not getting her, and you flipping the script on her and getting her chasing you.

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