Investment | Girls Chase

Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)

gratitude attractive
Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

What to Do When She Won't Join You Somewhere

girl won't join you
Girls won’t always agree to move with you, sit with you, or head somewhere else. If you’re not afraid of a little risk, though, you can often change their minds.

Hey, guys. I hope you are all doing well.

And I hope you found my posts on attention seekers useful (part 1; part 2). The first post examined the underlying mechanisms, where we had a quick look at female psychology, and the follow-up discussed the technicalities (how to deal with the issue at hand by using her strong desire for attention against her to generate attraction and compliance).

The techniques covered were mostly based on concepts such as showing mixed signals and taking away the attention from her through disqualification and rapport breaking. Those techniques can be useful in most settings.

Additionally, the techniques covered do have a general “attraction-building effect” on most girls, but they happen to work even better with attention seekers. The more attention seeking, the more dynamite the results, even to the point where her desire for attention reaches new heights, which she would be willing to fulfill through sex.

In this post, I will share a technique that is very simple on paper but may require some calibration. The techniques covered will serve as a resistance buster for whenever you are trying to move her (to isolate her or actually extract her back to your place). This is a form of resistance that is especially common among attention seekers. They resist being isolated with you, because becoming isolated with you results in lower amounts of attention for them (other men will be less likely to hit on an isolated girl and give her the attention she truly seeks). Same thing goes for extraction, which basically means “the attention seeking is over.”

Two notes to make before moving on:

  • Just like in my previous post regarding attention seekers, this technique can be used on most girls, although it will have more effect on attention seekers. It is key to emphasize this.

  • This strategy is fit for night game (bars and clubs). It can also be used at parties (extended social circle). I haven’t really tried this with day game. I didn’t really have to, as usually resistance toward isolation and extraction in day game is more genuine because of a lack of rapport or logistical hoops (she actually has plans to go somewhere). In night game, however (clubs being the sanctuary for attention seekers), there will be many attention seekers, and that’s where this post will come in handy.

Girls Who Seek Attention, Part II: How to Pick Them Up

female attention
Just because she’s a flighty, flirty attention seeker doesn’t mean she can’t be gotten. You just need to switch up your approach to get her a bit.

Welcome back, guys. This is a follow up to last week’s post where we covered the psychology and the underlying factors of female attention-seeking behavior. Part 1 covered all the whys, and is therefore recommended reading before this article. This post will be less theoretical and more practical, covering how to deal with female attention seekers – and actually manage to bed them. So this is a more technical post.

Fun fact: October and September have been months where I have encountered this type of girl in clubs and managed to successfully bed them.

  • I have had 2 recent cases where the strategies covered in this post were implemented. In those cases, I managed to smoothly and successfully bang both girls.

  • There was an additional case where I did not apply the strategies covered in this post. In fact, I tried doing something else. It did not work and I failed at pulling. So I’ll use this girl as a sort of “control group” in order to find correlations and identify the effects of the techniques presented here and how they help with attention seekers.

Now, I know some of you guys like to get outright scientific about stuff like this. And I realize that 3 cases may not be a very representative selection, sure. However, to my defense, I have had many similar experiences in the past (been doing this for 10 years) that more or less reflect the same pattern as what we’ll be discussing. This post is based on my overall observations, using those 3 cases to best exemplify the techniques, which seem to work out pretty fine if you ask me.

Without any further ado, let us get into it. The strategies presented in this post are inspired by the old-school seducer Swinggcat and his book Real World Seduction.

Should You Regularly Ping Text Girls Who've Eluded Your Dates?

ping girls for dates
If she eludes your dates, it can feel tempting to ping her regularly to make sure she doesn’t forget you. Yet there are better follow-up strategies than this.

A reader writes in:

Chase,

First off, I really value your dating advice; it’s rooted in logic and psychology and that’s how I operate.  It resonates in a big way with me.

So my scenario/question...

There is this one girl.

I’ve known her for about 2 years, but we never hooked up because one of us has always been in a relationship.  I own an organic juice bar and she actually came into the store the other day.  Attraction was definitely strong and she extended her number to me.

We went on a date a few days later; local, food, drinks and just established rapport and comfort.  Of course my end game was to get intimate with her, but it didn’t happen.  I was sort of bummed.  No good night kiss?  I can’t remember the last time that happened.  After the date we texted and I asked if I could call her and I did.  We basically stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours, sort of continuing the date convo.

I asked her on the phone, “Why no kiss?”.  She mentioned that she is shy, that she is attracted to me, the fact that I was on antibiotics for strep throat (day 6) bothered her a bit.  We also talked about how she is a bit messed up from an ex and that recently, she was actually falling for someone hard and chased him but it didn’t work out because he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

I’ve been trying to set up date 2 but it hasn’t happened yet.  I’m just keeping the texts short, direct, nonchalant, non predictable non needy, etc.

I really think she is just hung up on this guy (the one she was recently intimate with and doesn’t want a girlfriend) and after some time I’ll be able to meet her again and put the moves on her.  I’m confident once we’re intimate she will be chasing me.

However, I am by no means not seeing other girls.  I always keep about 3-4 in the rotation so I’m not lonely on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night.

MY QUESTION – Texting is such low effort as is Instagram and DM and things of that nature.  Is it ok to use these methods once in awhile to keep a “girl in the loop”?  I feel that timing is everything sometimes and this may be a method to grab her attention at the most opportune time.  What are your thoughts on this?  I’m not sitting home pining over her.  I just feel like the end goal is so close within reach and don’t want to completely give up.  If this is a viable method for achieving my end goal what would you recommend?  Frequency, context, things of that nature?

Thanks you for you time!

This is a great question. You get some progress with a girl, it feels like it’s close, but then it doesn’t happen. She doesn’t come out on dates, but she still responds to your messages.

So the question is: do you ping her from time to time to see if she’s available and changed her mind? Or do you not? And if you do, how often?

How Much Interest to Show a Girl (The 3 Considerations)

show girl you're interested
Each girl needs you to show a somewhat different amount of interest in her at different phases of the courtship. There are 3 keys to this: her interest, her type, and calibration.

A few weeks back, a reader commenting on my article “The Single Guy’s Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City” asked a few questions, including this one:

How to show interest while maintaining a sense of mystery and make her wonder whether or not you like her?

The only short answer to that question is ‘it depends’. It’s calibration. Some girls you show more interest in, some girls less.

The long answer involves a few steps: you need to know how interested she is, you need to know whether she responds better to aloof men or interested men, and you need to calibrate accordingly.

Tactics Tuesdays: Kisses for Good Behavior

cheek kiss reward
When a girl does something good, you can reward her with a cheek kiss… and open up the floodgates of romantic and sexual potential.

This is a fun little tactic I’ve employed over the years that does a lot of good things for you.

The tactic is simple: when she does something you like, give her a peck on the cheek, neck, shoulder, or lips.

There’s a little nuance to it, because the power of the kiss will be tied to the level of investment she gives you. The bigger the investment, the weightier the kiss. The lesser the investment, the lesser the kiss.

I’m going to do a quick section to tell you why this is good. And then I’ll give you a few examples of how and where you’d use it.

Tactics Tuesdays: "What's the Matter, You Chicken?"

are you chicken
If she’s on the fence about complying with you, there’s an easy way to get her off that fence: ask her if she’s chicken.

Quick fun post on how to get girls to do stuff they resist doing.

You can read more on how to get girls to say yes (or what to do if they say no) in my compliance series:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others

Today though I just want to talk about one specific little technique. This is the technique of playfully accusing girls of being scared to do whatever it is you want them to do.

This is very simple to do. It’s lots of fun. And it’s wildly effective at turning non-compliant girls into compliant ones. Works on a whole huge spectrum of types of compliance she can resist you on, too.

How to Get Anything from Anyone: The Law of Social Exchange

get anything from anyone
You can get anything to give you whatever you want. But to do it, you must obey the Law of Social Exchange (and all its small wrinkles).

We have a small group of guys on the Girls Chase forums whose deepest wish is to live the ‘cool guy life’ they see in the movies. You know... the fly guy with the babes hanging off his arm, who’s always on the invite list to all the hottest parties, forever in-demand.

Sometimes other forum members criticize this wish. And those critical members do have a point. Who cares how popular you are if you can go out and get top quality girls and top quality friends? Who needs the superficial trappings of being The Guy? It’s like chasing money for the sake of being rich. Not because you actually need that money to accomplish anything. You just want the image and the feeling of wealth.

I agree with the critical members this ‘popularity for the sake of popularity’ is not a worthy end goal. But I think it’s also worth recognizing that if you’ve never had this – if you’ve always been the outsider, rejected, never really a part of things – it can be a monkey on your back until you get it and achieve it. Some guys just need to experience the spotlight first before they can move on to worthier things.

So, if you find yourself wishing and wondering and hoping for more... to be more included, to have more babes on your arm, to go to more cool parties... to be The Guy everyone knows, talks about, and admires... this article is the one you’ve waited all your life for.

In it, I’m going to introduce you to a new social law, like the Law of Least Effort. But rather than the appearance of social power, this law governs the construction and maintenance of social ties. This law I call the Law of Social Exchange.

"Just the Tip" and 4 Other Foot-in-the-Door Techniques

just the tip
When she isn’t ready for the whole thing, sometimes you can get in with just the tip. But you can use this tactic in many more ways than just sex.

Time for a fun post.

In psychology, there's a form of compliance known as the ‘foot-in-the-door' technique. The basic premise of it is once you get someone to agree to something little, you can easily expand it to a great deal more. Just like getting your foot in the door enough for you to then widen the door.

We've talked about a few of these over the years. “Just sit for five minutes”, for instance, I talked about in “Don't Let Her Go.”

Today, I'm going to give you a template for this form of compliance. And I'll give you five (5) common examples of when and how to use this.

How to Kickstart Behavior Change in Girlfriends or Lovers

girlfriend behavior modification
So you want to modify a girlfriend’s behavior. Yet if you come out and say, “I want you to change,” you’ll offend. You must employ subtler means.

I was talking with my best friend the other day. He’s married but still occasionally reads Girls Chase. Plus, we talk all the time, so he’s bound to hear about girls and then talk about them.

One of his particular interests in relationship management right now is using social media to change the behavior of one’s girlfriend or wife.

We’ve discussed operant conditioning with relationships before. Encourage and reward what behavior you like; ignore the behavior you don’t.

But what we haven’t discussed too much is how to get the ball rolling with operant conditioning – how do you show her what you want her to do?

After a long talk on the phone with my buddy, we came up with a good system for guys in relationships to follow.