Investment

You can get a girl you like to follow your lead with a simple compliance ladder. Not only will she follow you smoother and more easily, but it often even speeds up the courtship.

Let's talk about a simple technique with tremendous ability to be ramped up: the compliance ladder.

A compliance ladder is a series of actions you cause someone to make that escalates her compliance with you.

The more she complies, the more she invests, and as she becomes more invested in her relationship with you, it becomes increasingly more difficult for her to pull away, less desirable for her to, and easier for her to continue complying with larger and larger asks.

You can use this simple psychological effect (which all humans have) to do all sorts of things with people... including lead women into bed.

Rewarding good behavior during courtships and relationships is pivotal to your romantic success. But just how do you go about doing that?

On my article about teasing a girl to her friends, a reader named Warcode asks:

Hi chase could you do an article on ways to generally reward her? Whether verbally or physically etc and on the basis of how does this mechanism change from the beginning of knowledge to a type of relationship? The basic mechanism and then decline it to every situation. Then, for example, I do not understand well in a relationship if giving compliments of a various nature and how to do them maybe a you're beautiful is so anonymous and recurring? And if compliments should be made / convey interest how often and of what types ?. I had also read on the forum that in sex do not pay her physical compliments because she gives her too much

Sure, I'd be glad to oblige.

Today, let's talk about rewarding women: when to do it, how to do it, and the nature of rewarding women both during the initial courtship and in ongoing relationships.

To calibrate to a woman, you must be able to glean the information from her you need to make your adjustments. What information do you need, and how best can you use it?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I would like to talk about calibration. Long ago, I wrote a series about calibration:

• Part 1 – How to calibrate to a girl, her vibe, actions, and reactions to your moves (an essential part of calibration).

• Part 2 – How to calibrate according to the context: the social and logistical setting (how isolated you are) and the logistics of her group (her friends and social circle).

• Part 3 – How to calibrate your timings. Not all moments are ideal for making a move, setting a frame, escalating, or isolating, so hit the right timing for max success. An important difference between intermediate players and advanced guys? Advanced guys hit on the right timings and get rewarded.

I wrote two more posts for this series about personality types that could assist you (I do not consider her “personality type” a reliable factor for calibration).

Today’s post is truly essential to calibration: information.

You cannot calibrate if you go in blindly, or else you’ll make many mistakes. You need information to calibrate. Without information, you have no way of knowing whether you are making the right move, escalating fast enough, or going in too slow.

So, let’s discuss the role of information: how you acquire it and use it.

Give a girl a way to recall her attraction to you with an “attraction anchor.” Attraction anchors are things you do or get a woman to do that she’s likely to remember later.

Have you ever approached a girl, who was clearly attracted to you, done everything right with her, left her smiling, had her contact info in-hand as you did so, and then... never heard from her again?

Sure you have. It's the pox of every even halfway active dater.

It can send you into a tailspin trying to figure out what went wrong. Everything seemed perfect. You executed the approach perfect. The girl responded to you perfectly in every way.

So why did she vanish once you left, and never respond to your texts, voice/video messages, or calls again?

The answer is because attraction has an expiration date, and if you fail to make a strong enough impression, that expiration date may often be "as soon as you leave her side."

What can you do to prevent attraction expiring while you're away from her?

Anchor her attraction to things likely to stick in her mind.

When it comes to choosing girls, especially for long-term relationships, how perfect a fit must a girl be? Can you be too picky, waiting for too clear a sign?

I know a guy who has these baffling (to me) relationships.

His stated objective is to find a wife.

He will find women who enter into relationships with him, whom he considers marriageable. These women talk to him about wanting something serious, tell him he's the best and most exciting guy they've been with; some of them even talk about marriage with him, or about him impregnating them.

He never moves things forward and always keeps his relationships at a kind of "casual+" level.

The women get frustrated and begin asking him what he wants with them, causing drama, telling him they cannot get a read on him and don't know what his intentions are.

He takes this as a sign their interests are not aligned, and begins having doubts / pulling back.

Eventually women break up with him in frustration, which he concludes meant they were never right for each other to begin with. Or sometimes he breaks up with them in annoyance at the drama, concluding they weren't looking for what he is.

He then begins picking up again, still looking for a wife. He's been repeating this process, over and over, for 20 years. He often says he thinks when he finds the right woman, it will just click.

With his most recent girlfriend, after she laid all her cards out on the table, told him he's the best guy she's been with in a long, long time, told him she wants a baby with him, then said she can't get a read on what he wants, his response to her was, "Well since you're not clear on what you want, we can take it day by day."

When I saw this confounding display, it got me thinking about the psychology there.

Because I have seen other men do things like this too.

And to me it's always looked inexplicable! What is a guy like this thinking, in doing things this way?

Well, it was inexplicable, until I really dug into it.

Today I'm going to talk about how people evaluate other people's wants and aims.

I'm going to talk about deciding what things someone says or wants matter vs. which don't.

Then we're going to talk about how people decide who's a fit for them -- and how they decide who isn't.

You can’t always avoid a frame war. If you find yourself in one, you’re going to use one of these tactics to come out the winner.

Hey guys and welcome back!

In my last two posts, we discussed frame wars. The first explained what frame wars are (they happen quite frequently, especially in night game). The second post outlined some preventive measures to help you avoid frame war agony since prevention is the best cure.

Frame wars occur when a girl tries to wrestle the meta-frame away from you and switch things from her chasing you back to you chasing her. Whoever holds the frame is considered the prize.

She may try to steal the frame because:

• Society has programmed her to believe she is the prize

• When men chase, her ego is satisfied

• It makes her look good socially and bad if she chases you

But it can also be due to her simply wanting you badly, and the best way to get you (and rightfully so) is to make you chase.

The problem is that the moment you start chasing, you fall into her frame, which means that she will be in charge of the interaction. This goes against her idea of you as a dominant man, which she finds attractive. It also means she will be framed as higher value than you. It is problematic since women tend to fall for higher-value males. Also, you will satisfy her ego, and when she is satisfied, she will have nothing left to gain from you and will be able to comfortably move on, so you will lose her.

In my last post, I suggested that you avoid overusing meta-framing techniques such as:

• Push/pull (showing mixed signals)

• Teasing

• Disqualifiers (disqualifying her to make her chase)

• Jealousy plots (making her jealous)

All are rapport-breaking techniques. What is wrong with rapport-breaking techniques? They push you away from each other when you should be moving closer. The tension caused by meta-framing techniques should be treated merely as a “necessary evil” to boost compliance. The caveat being that it is a double-edged sword, so if overused, it can cause unwanted effects such as auto-rejection or, worse — frame wars.

Rapport-breaking techniques may make her feel undervalued, tooled, and powerless. They represent ego hits, offending her conception of herself as the prize. If pushed to the brink, she may respond by declaring a frame war.

So avoiding the overuse (not use) of meta-framing techniques is a great way to dodge frame wars.

Yet, sometimes frame wars are unavoidable. That’s just the way it is. Maybe you miscalibrated and overused meta-framing techniques when they weren’t warranted. Perhaps that’s the way she is, or something in the context of the interaction triggered it accidentally.

What do you do if you sense a frame war coming? That’s what this post will answer.

Sometimes you’re trying to get somewhere with a girl but she’s just so assertive. What can you do with girls who take the lead? Simple: you just be the prize.

A short while back, one of our forum members shared a report of his in which a girl at a club managed to pry a free drink from him, then keep him following her for much of the night.

He's not an inexperienced guy, and was a bit confused at what happened with her. It seemed like she was into him... however, she continually deflected his requests while making her own (and getting him to comply).

Sometimes you will meet girls like this, who aren't interested in all at following, but will try to lead with you.

These may not always be girls who are disinterested in you. Sometimes they may just be very strong, assertive personality-type women.

If you leave things in their hands, you'll rarely end up with them.

What you must do instead with girls who want to lead is to switch up your strategy:

You must focus, even more than usual, on being the prize.