Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 1: Game-Personality Disconnect


why relationships failWith this article, I’m kicking off a new series called “Why Relationships Fall Apart” that I’ll make further installments in as the weeks go by. The first in the WRFA series is on something I’ve deemed ‘game-personality disconnect’. A comment from a reader named ‘straw’ in my article on “Why Women Misremember the Past” describes this perfectly:

Hi Chase.
As much as i dont have much problem with pick up and short term relations, I have found it impossible to maintain a longer relationship. It is almost as if suddenly my value dropped to zero. The pattern repeats itself all the time and its been going on for years now. At the beginning, women get crazy about me, the persue a relationship and after more or less 3-4 months there is a complete almost overnight shoft in the interest department.
Is it possible that I employ too much game at the beginning so they are attracted to someone im not? I may put on some game at the beginning which makes them pursue me hard and then the moment i get involved, usually after a couple of months, i show them i am involved and their interest drops, they start criticizing me, and its almost like eveything i do is SUDDENLY bad and wrong or ridiculous.
If yoy are in a relationship with somebody of course you show you care, what would be the point otherwise. Why does my value drop a couple of months after we enter the relationship?

The problem straw has run into is that the way you attract and take women itself serves as a screening tool, drawing in the women who are most attracted to that ‘style’.

Just like you probably have your own preference for submissive girls or feisty girls, and girls of an opposing style bore you or drive you nuts, women have their preferences too – and if you lure in women looking for one thing by behaving like it, only to revert to something else later on, for her it’s kind of like buying a ticket to a metalcore concert because that’s her scene only to show up there and discover it’s jazz (or vice versa).

Tactics Tuesdays: Hugs, Handclasps, and Arm-on-Shoulders


Today’s article will focus on three different forms of touch for use in similar situations (mostly as greetings... hello and goodbye):

  • Hugs
  • Handclasps (note: not handshakes)
  • And your arm on (or around) her shoulder

With each tactic, we’ll look at when these work best, when they can backfire, how exactly to use them, and what their pros and cons are.

So get yourself into a touchy-feely mood and let’s get to it.

Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women


seduction leadership“Get up.

“Stand up for just a second.

“Step over here please, I want to show you something.

“Okay, now turn around – eh! Not so fast. Turn around slowly.

“Hmm, okay, you’ll do. So tell me how this friend screwed you over exactly.”

Ever wonder why leading women and getting investment from them is such a lynchpin of seduction?

In all honesty, you can take a woman who’s completely unattracted to you, and if you can get her to follow your lead well enough, you can take her to bed and take her as your lover. I’ve done it plenty of times.

It’s nice when she’s into you. But it’s nice to know you’ve got options too, even when she isn’t.

However, if you don’t understand why leading like this, and getting buy-in and compliance like this is so crucially important to your success rate with girls, you’re going to miss a lot of opportunities to use it where you really should be using it.

So why’s it so vital?

Back Pocket Mentality, Pt. II: The Holding Pattern


holding patternA year ago, I talked about women’s back pocket mentality: keeping a man in reserve, his appetite wetted for them, thirst for them unquenched.

It’s part survival instinct, part choice maximization... the best position for a woman is to have a flock of interested men waiting for their shots with her, for a variety of reasons (most women greatly fear becoming unwanted or undesired).

Today I want to introduce you to back pocket mentality’s close cousin, the ‘holding pattern’. This is a more serious version of the phenomenon, where a woman strongly implies sex or a relationship is on the table and coming very soon, without delivering.

This is used when a man is on her shortlist, but she wants to experiment with others first. Just because you’re on her short list doesn’t mean you’ll get her – and all the time you devote to her while she enjoys other men and “makes up her mind”, you’re killing her attraction and respect for you.

Why the ‘Bid for Connection’ is Crucial to Your Relationship


“Any good dreams last night?”

“How was your day today?”

“You’ll never believe what happened to me.”

bid for connection

There are normal little communication bits and pieces you’ll encounter in relationships. They seem pretty small and trivial, and superficially they are.

However, these little questions or statements – called ‘bids for connection’ by Professor Emeritus John M. Gottman, Ph.D. – have big impacts on relationship health.

That’s because any time you make a bid for connection, or a gal you’re with makes one toward you, it goes one of two ways:

  • You or she accept the bid (Gottman calls this ‘turn towards’)
  • Or you or she ignore the bid (Gottman calls this ‘turn away’)

How often these little bids are turned toward or away from makes a world of difference, it turns out.

Women Will Date the “Wrong Guy” If the “Right One” Isn’t Free


Recently had a discussion with one of our forum members about some odd behavior he was seeing from a former girlfriend who works in his office.

They’d had a friends with benefits relationship for about half a year, before she broke things off with him to enter a committed relationship with another man.

What confused him the most, however, was that this girl had seemed to like him more, yet she still went off to date the wrong guy anyway. Her new guy has some pretty big downsides, too: he’s jealous and controlling. He’s forbid his girlfriend from having any contact with her ex from our forum, and monitors her phone calls and texting.

date the wrong guy

What this forum member asked me was, “Why would she date this guy when she already had me?”

The answer, of course, was that he wasn’t available for the kind of relationship this girl needed – so even if he would’ve been her first choice for that role, he simply wasn’t an option she could choose from on the shelf.

Dance Floor Game Tips #9: More on Handling Resistance


dance floor resistancePreviously I discussed a few important premises and techniques that will help reduce your chances of having to face resistance when you escalate physically – or at least will minimize the impact of the resistance.

Previous articles in this series here:

  1. Dance game foundations

  2. Warming up on the dance floor

  3. Dance floor target selection

  4. Opening on the dance floor

  5. Building attraction on the dance floor

  6. Physical escalation on the dance floor

  7. Handling her friends

  8. What causes resistance

However, even knowing what causes it and how best to avoid it, sometimes resistance will occur anyway. It’s far from uncommon. Even good seducers face resistance – although less often than beginners.

Before I begin, please note this: just because you are getting resistance does not mean you have failed to pull off the techniques (the preventive techniques against resistance) from our last post.

Some women are just harder cases than others, and that can either be due to the situation and her current mood or her personality.

Some women are harder to get than others – that’s just life.

Why Aren't You Arousing the Women You Meet?


One of the most common questions that I hear from guys is:

“How do I make her want me?”

But there’s always more to this question. They go on...

“You know, like want me so bad that she just can’t wait to get back to my place and rip my clothes off and will even make plays to move the interaction forward herself! I see this happen with other guys from time to time, so I know it’s possible... How do you do that?”

arousing women

Although what you are doing is important, it’s usually the things that you either don’t do or just do incorrectly that end up being the miscreant that stalls things.

Later I’ll explain to you in detail how to not only turn a woman on, but more critically, how to do it smoothly so that you don’t make mistakes and disappoint her somewhere along the way.

But first, let me tell you why this is even more important than you think it is.

Modern Marriage, Part 4: When Marriage Doesn’t Match Expectations


Gentlemen, welcome back.

Today in Part 4 we are going to take a look at:

  1. What can happen when marriage doesn’t meet your expectations,

  2. What (if anything) you can and should do about it when this happens, and,

  3. A couple of things you should never do.

Because, as we found out in Part 2, let’s face it: no marriages meet all of the expectations that are set for them.

marriage-expectations

The percentage of Americans who divorce has been above 40 percent even since 1970s. There are a lot of reasons that that number is what it is. Unarguably though, is the notion that the inability to reconcile differences is what eventually makes things come to a head and is why we divorce.

Is infidelity the reason you got divorced? Roundabout, perhaps, yes. But it was really more because a reconciliation couldn’t be reached.

How about a financial crisis? Can two people just become so poor that some crazy law says they have to get a divorce? No, it’s because they can’t agree on how to repair the problem (or they just don’t).

Your marriage is never going to be as fruitful and perfect as you think it will be, and you’re going to deal with a whole slew of life problems that affect one or the both of you. It’s not the problems themselves that cause divorce to happen, it’s the people not being able to deal with them that is the biggest issue.

So what exactly happens when you end up in an unfulfilling, dead-as-nails marriage that suffers from one (or a multitude!) of the more serious relationship-downers that we discovered in Part 3?

I found that when my marriage was getting to the point where it had seen better days that the toughest thing I had to deal with by far was the shift in the balance of power that occurred when I actually started to sense things beginning to go haywire in the first place, and started scrambling to make things “right” again.

Dance Floor Game Tips #5: Building Attraction on the Dance Floor


Welcome back to our series on dance floor seduction. Prior editions:

Previously, we discussed some theoretical elements of dance floor seduction. We also discussed how to get in mood, while focusing a lot on opening and selecting the right target.

Today we will start discussing the “attraction building phase”.

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