Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

When You Think Girls are Chasing You (But You’re Still Chasing)


Note from Chase: Ross is one of our senior discussion board members, with a very steady hand and plenty of sage advice to go around for men aspiring to excel with women. Ross’s shared a few guest articles on GC before in early 2013, and Im really happy to announce he's joining the team as one of our new regular contributors. Please welcome him back to writing for the site! Without further ado, I give you Ross.


A situation that has been popping up more frequently on the discussion boards entails a scenario where guys think girls are chasing after them. These guys get frustrated, as they believe that the girl is chasing after them, yet they cannot figure out why things still aren’t working out. They’ll often point to some behavior that’s supposed to be indicative of chasing, yet this doesn’t necessarily provide insight into all of the dynamics at play between the guy and girl here.

The ever-so-popular stand-up gig that pokes fun at women for being illogical in arguments comes to mind when I think of this issue. The husband will argue with his wife using facts, only to be completely shut down by her emotionally charged response. On paper, it will look like he’s won. However, anyone viewing the event could tell you that he obviously lost.

girls are chasing you

As a result, it’s difficult for someone critiquing a guy’s interactions to tell whether he’s really winning with girls... or only paper-winning. All a forum member can do is read what people have written about their interactions with women, and form opinions and give feedback based off of that. Thus, many guys will receive positive reinforcement that they are doing a good job, even though in real life they just aren’t getting results or reaching their goals.

Today, I hope to relieve some of the issues surrounding this misinterpretation of data. It’s time for a mental model update, because the dynamic of chasing goes much deeper than the surface.

14 Terrible Signs You're Deep in the Friend Zone


We’ve talked about the friend zone on Girls Chase before: why it’s bad, what it looks like, and how to get out of it.

But you’ve asked for more.

You’ve asked for clear signs you can look for that are undeniable proof you’ve careened off the Road to Sexytimes and into the Bog of Asexuality. Irrefutable sign posts that the good times of dreaming about lovingly gazing into one another’s eyes are long behind you, and you now exist solely to stroke her ego as proof that she is so charming, so wonderful, and so hypnotically mesmerizing that great guys like you will just hang around in awe of her... all while she samples her fill of sexy bad boys.

friend zone

Well, never fear. While the greatest danger of the friend zone is your own denial, all the rest we will solve with this enlightening post.

So, provided you can handle the healthy dose of cognitive dissonance you’ll receive from discovering that the girl you were so certain you were just one more funny text message away from talking onto your johnston really doesn’t think of you “that way" and probably never will, let’s dive in...

... and arm you with the 14 Terrible Signs You’re Deep in the Friend Zone.

Handling Awkwardness and Social Shunning on a Small Scale


I’ve been seeing more questions lately in both the article comments sections and on the boards from men who are ending up in awkward situations where some girl they’ve flirted with and expressed interest has turned them down... but they keep running into her socially.

How do you act around a girl like this? What do you do? What if she’s cold to you and ignores you, or treats you like you’re beneath her?

social shunning

I’m going to assume for the purposes of this article that you’re at least somewhat socially savvy, and that most people like you and find you reasonably attractive and cool. If that’s not the case, and you are universally socially shunned or socially ostracized (more or less), this post won’t help with that, and you’ll need to focus on leveling up your social calibration, and getting other “coolness factors” handled, like edginess, sprezzatura, and a devil may care attitude, first.

But if you’re normally a pretty well-liked guy, yet suddenly find yourself dealing with some girl things have gotten awkward around or who is downright treating you as subhuman, then this article is for you; it’s all about saving face, and turning her reaction to you right around.

Male Authority and Female Lust


The cocky owner of a small business bends one of his female employees over his desk after hours on a Friday afternoon, when the other employees have gone home, including a pair of male office workers who’ve been competing for that same female coworker of theirs for months.

Across town, an arrogant-but-charismatic high school running back trots off the football field after a loss. Most of the team’s down in the dumps, but he’s not; he’s taking one of the cheerleaders for a “ride around town” tonight. She’ll be the fourth cheerleader he’s slept with from his school’s squad.

male authority

That night, a trio of cute girls in flashy, sequined dresses stay past closing time in a semi-popular nightclub there in town for an “after party” that involves them, a bartender, a doorman, and the club owner. All three of the girls are naked in under an hour, and though the routine is getting a little old for each of them, all three of the men still enjoy sleeping with his new girl.

At the same time that evening, a psychologist has a discrete liaison with one of his troubled-but-sensual patients. She knows he’s married and has a family, and the last thing she wants to be is a home wrecker... but she really can’t help herself.

There are a few somethings each of these situations have in common with one another: they are male authority... and female lust.

But the greater irony under all these tales is the one that many average men who haven’t experienced such dalliances themselves spend time boiling with envy over, and vainly try to point out to any woman they can catch the ear of: outside of these environments, with this artificial position power they’ve constructed for themselves or happened into, these men are nobodies... and without that authority those men have, these women probably wouldn’t be very attracted to them.

Yet nevertheless, they are.

Satisficing and Seduction; or, Why You Probably Won't be a Bachelor Forever


I’m going to wade back into theory on this one, a la “Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns.” Only this time, we’ll be looking at the end game of picking up, instead of the middle game. Worth noting that some of the examples in this article are as well inspired by Nassim Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness – very good book.

Riz asks a few questions in the article on office politics about “settling down”:

This leads me to my question(s)

1) Do successful seducers who see beyond classic dating ‘settle down’ ? – Thinking about it, why would they – They know that whichever girl they are with right now, there is probably out there somewhere, a girl who is even sexier, more intelligent, more fun, successful etc etc – They know they will never find Ms.Perfect – So why ‘settle’ – Whats the point?

Surely on of the big reasons most guys settle is because they fall in love with a girl and can’t help but cling onto her in false belief that they will never find another girl like her, they have to marry her now to solidify heir destined relationship and if things ever go wrong and they divorce then that’s it, life over.

2) What are your thoughts specifically on ‘settling down’ – I don’t know why exactly but even uttering those words ‘settle down’ sounds to me like giving up almost. To me it just sounds so defeatist. Why would anybody want to settle down lol, its crazy.

And I am not a young man either, I have though this for quite a while. Seems hardly anybody else really relates though.

It’s like for most, settling down is the ultimate goal to achieve in life. Everyone always talks about it in group ‘ah so are you settled yet?’ – And i’m like ‘uhh no...., should I?’

These are good questions, yeah. Personally, I’ve never had a problem with the idea of long-term relationships and children, but the concept of “settling down” has always bugged me to high heaven... since I was a small boy, in fact.

There’s just something about how most “ordinary” folks define “settling down” as something that sounds, to someone like me, and Riz too by the sound of it, like “giving up on your dreams.”

It’s like saying “I’ve done all that I’m going to do; now it’s time to ‘get serious’ and go get a wife and a house with a white picket fence and go be a wage slave for the next 30 or 40 years so I can afford to pay off the mortgage on my McMansion and fleet of minivans, then die.”

satisficing and seduction

When you’re someone who wants to do more with his life than the ordinary, you’ll tend to be quite allergic to the idea of settling down.

Yet, as alluring as the idea of bouncing around from one woman to the next until the end of time can seem, almost nobody does it... including all the men who assure you in their teens, twenties, and early thirties that they, definitely will stay single forever.

Why is that – why does almost everybody (including the folks who claim not to want to) eventually end up “settling down”?

Well, it’s all down to a little term called “satisficing.”

The Paradox of the Flirty Girl


Every time you see her, she twirls her hair, smiles at you, and asks you how your day is going. She’s just an absolutely delightful girl, and you know she likes you. You’ve just got to wait for the right moment to make your move.

You’ve known her for ages, and it always feels like you’re building more and more steadily towards something happening. The connection between the two of you is undeniable; you can feel it. It’s visceral and real.

What I’ve noticed more and more as I’ve coached men on dating is that so many of the women that men get caught up on and start chasing after are, in fact, not actually women they really do have some special connection with... but rather, in fact, are simply flirty girls.

flirty girl

They’re women who enjoy flirting with men, teasing men, leading men on, and all because it makes them feel good.

No man will ever admit he’s in love with a flirty girl. His ego always gets in the way; of course a woman isn’t just flirting with me; maybe with some other guy, he thinks, but me? She means it with me.

But the flirty girl is not hard to figure out, nor is she difficult to call on her game-playing. It does, however, take an honest view of the “connection” you have with her... and the stones to tell her to put up or shut up.

Chase's Guide to Time Management


I don’t like veering too far off-topic from seduction and relationships too often, since I’ve watched many a website, television show, or business slip into decline after losing its focus, becoming too scattered and spreading itself too thin with the material it covers. But, since a number of readers have specifically requested this, here’s an article on how I run my time management.

Personally, I’ve never given much conscious thought to time management. I’ve just always found myself with everything I need to get done done, and lots of free time to spend however I like – sometimes on personal development, sometimes on relaxation and recovery. Time management is more of an unconscious drive for me than anything. The past few years I’ve been busier than usual, since it’s been my trial-by-fire in learning how to build businesses (and having many of those businesses fail along the way), but even then, I’ve mostly gone through stretches of a few months of extreme busyness at the time, before correcting things and returning to a more balanced lifestyle.

time management

I haven’t read much on time management itself, because most of the people writing on time management I find are people who haven’t really done things with their lives that I’d care to emulate. It seems like most of them spend their time writing books about time management, and most of their productivity consists of writing books about productivity. However, I do come across bits and pieces here and there from various people that I find useful and incorporate, and that help make me even better able to manage my time.

So, without further ado, and with no claims to being some great time management guru or anything of the sort, here’s how Chase Amante personally approaches the subject of managing his time; a companion piece to the one I did on time efficiency (you should probably read that one before reading this one, if you haven’t already read it).

Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns


asymmetric returnsI’ve been relistening to Nassim Taleb’s wonderful book Fooled by Randomness, which is a probabalist’s dream read. And if there’s one thing that picking up girls turns you into, it’s a probabalist.

Reading it (or listening to it on audio, as I am), you see a great many parallels between stock trading and seduction. And you also come to understand why some men succeed at picking up lots of different pretty girls, and why most men never will.

In many things in life, but especially in trading and in pickup, there is what you’d call an asymmetric distribution of returns. And that means that by participating in trading for stocks or picking up girls or anything else with an asymmetric distribution, you’re opening yourself up to asymmetric returns.

But the mind does not take well naturally to asymmetric returns. It doesn’t grasp them. It isn’t built to work that way.

And the result of this is, an endless abundance of great returns for those few souls willing to go against the grain, fight the emotions that go with it, and chase down their asymmetric returns in spite of their struggling and fearful or frustrated brains... and an endless source of frustration and disappointment for the majority of souls who just go with the flow.

Mutual Escalation


Mutual EscalationToday I am going to discuss a very simple concept that will make your physical escalation smoother, more efficient, and much more powerful.

I am sure the concept won’t sound like rocket science. And I am sure that some experienced players here at Girls Chase probably do this unconsciously, but I’d still recommend they read this post, in order to become aware of what they’re doing.

Others have probably thought about this concept but have only rarely used it in practice, as I seldom see it used by men out there.

Either way, this concept is VERY simple. Beginners, intermediates, and pros will all benefit from learning about it, and I also believe most men will be able to pull it off (as long as you manage to “simply escalate”).

I will call this concept “mutual escalation”.

The Parting Shot


Something I see guys doing that always makes me want to hold up my hands and go, “Wait! Too extreme!” is getting miffed and walking away from women without giving them a properly put-together parting shot.

I was guilty of it for a long time, and when you’re still being emotionally affected by the women you’re meeting (i.e., before it’s become more or less pure process with little emotional involvement), it’s pretty easy to fall into this trap.

That is, the trap of realizing that things aren’t going your way with a given girl, getting upset, and storming off out of the interaction with a spiteful “Huh. She’ll realize what she’s lost when I’m gone!” attitude.

parting shot

Ever do this? I bet you have, and if you’re like most men I bet you sometimes still do.

Thing is, how often do those girls you abruptly cut contact with like this ever get back in touch with you and turn things around? Never, right? Occasionally they may reconnect with you, but ever notice how they treat you rather patronizingly in those cases? They know they’ve gotten to you.

At best, all you ever get out of ending things with girls this way is a psychic victory... you get to think to yourself that you “won” because you walked off and left her hanging.

But you didn’t win, not really. You didn’t get the girl.

There is a way you can though – not all the time, but a whole lot more often than you will with the “get irked and storm off” approach, in any event.

I call it “the parting shot.”

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