Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Conquer Approach Anxiety with The Approach Game

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

the approach game
This fun, simple game is designed to banish anxiety and work out the kinks in your approaches. All you need is a wingman, a clock, and a woman-laden environment.

Very early in my seduction journey, right after deciding I (finally) wanted to get better with women and (finally) learn how to sleep with them effortlessly, I faced the biggest hurdle of all – getting started. After all, every resource, coach, and seminar I checked out mentioned cold approach as the best skill to learn and improve with women.

It was suggested that I set aside several hours a day several times a week to learn how to approach women, just to get started. However, therein lay the rub – approaching women.

What a scary proposition! After having lost my virginity in my early twenties, then finally having my first girlfriend at 22, I still had no confidence or understanding of what women wanted or how they wanted to be approached.

I felt nervous, afraid; and each time, fear ran through my veins. This is a woman. What if she rejects me? What if she doesn’t like me? How will she feel about me? How will she perceive me? How will I feel about myself if she rejects me?

I started by walking through the streets of my newest home – New York City – where day game opportunities were plentiful and hot women wandered the streets alone every single day. And yet, each time I passed a hot woman that I fancied, I talked myself out of an approach.

It Doesn't Matter What She's Thinking. Stop Chasing Rabbits

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

what she's thinking
What is she thinking? Before you try to get inside her head, you must know this principle: taking action trumps reading minds.

We talk about female psychology a good deal on Girls Chase. At the meta level, it’s supremely helpful to know how women tick and what goes on in their heads.

However, today, we’re going to look at the granular level. The “what is this one individual girl thinking?” level. We’ll start with part of a comment by Girls Chase reader SZ:

“I was also hoping you could explain this interaction to me, I try to be a warm person, but people don’t become warm, they’re cold. I was at the gym, This girl I saw was nice to me and asked me how I was, I told her and asked her the same, I looked at her a few times while we worked out nothing too much, just to check her out, then when I was leaving I said bye to her and she had headphones in, but I felt she heard me, I waited there for a response, then she gave me this attitude way of saying bye, like she was too cool for me. It was like a look of “oh please, I’m too cool for you attitude”. It threw me off because I didn’t make it obvious I looked at her a few times, I didn’t try to ask her out, I made sure she didn’t see me look at her here and there. I was cool, so I don’t understand the coyness. I was just being a man and looking at a girl, I don’t know if she saw me check her out, so I don’t know if that was the reason she acted like that.”

So, a girl started off seemingly nice to him. Then ended up seemingly cool toward him. What happened, and what does it mean? Well...

  • It could be she wanted him to flirt with her more and ask her out, he didn’t, and she was disappointed.

  • It could be she was just being polite earlier, and in truth didn’t want to encourage him any more than she needed to.

  • It could be she started off her workout in a sociable mood, but by the end of it she was focused on music and exercise and ‘tuned out’ socially, so just seemed cold.

Maybe it’s none of these, and it’s something else entirely.

The thing is, with an individual woman, in an individual situation, you will not know what she is thinking.

You may have guesses. And sometimes your guesses will be correct. Sometimes they’ll be wholly, completely, laughably wrong, though.

Which brings us to our primary point today: it doesn’t matter what she’s thinking right there, this very moment. Stop worrying about what she’s thinking. Get focused on results, and stop chasing after rabbits.

Tactics Tuesdays: Girl Blinders

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl blinders
Do you want to talk to a girl, but there’re people around and you feel unconfident? Put on ‘girl blinders’, and make your audience disappear.

You’re out in public. Could be on the train, on a street, in a bar, in a café, in a grocery store. You see a cute girl. She gives you a coy glance and you think she’d like to meet.

Only then... you take a glance yourself at all the people around you. There are a lot of them. If you approach that girl, they’ll notice.

You’ve never spoken to these people before. Odds are good you won’t see any of them again. Yet, they’ve immediately become the biggest obstacle to your approach. You may not even talk to this girl you’d like to meet, who looks like she’d like to meet you. All because there are people around, and you’re hesitant to approach in front of an audience.

There’s a simple little trick to get around this specific fear.

I call it ‘girl blinders’.

Should You Ever Set Up a Second Date While on the First?

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

setting up second date while on first
When your girl is into you but you think she’ll resist first-date sex out of fears of getting played, this is how you can safely bring up a second date.

For most guys in most situations, it’s advisable to avoid setting up the second date during the first – or even setting up the third date during the second.

The risk of being so forward is that you play your cards early. Instead of waiting for her to tell you she wants to see you again – which can and will happen if you give her a great date – you should be the one to propose the second date.

You can potentially betray too much interest and come off as the one chasing.

For guys who have a more relaxed style, show little emotion, and prefer to be smooth and cool, I would advise against using the method in this article.

However, for those who have a more upbeat style, or for guys who find themselves having an attainability issue, either due to the player problem (i.e., she thinks you’re a player and doubts your intentions beyond sex) or from being too high value, you can use this more forward approach to prevent a girl from going into auto-rejection.

Let’s go through the two prerequisites for setting up a second date while on the first.

When Women "Don't Count" Guys They've Slept with Before

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

guy didn't count
Some guys just don’t ‘count’ for women. They can hook up with them, date them… and yet, the guys still don’t count. Why do women do this, and how can you be a ‘doesn’t count’ guy yourself?

There was a thing I set out to do early on in my journey into seduction. I couldn’t then have put it into words. But I knew what it looked like. I wished:

  • To be a guy women pined for, instead of the one doing the pining

  • To be able to walk into a room and seduce the woman I wanted

  • Women to expect nothing from me yet desire me just the same

  • Women to be genuinely surprised if I chose to keep them as girlfriends

  • To be a man the normal rules of dating did not apply to

There are different ways to name this. One might be to say I wanted all the power in the male-female courtship dynamic. The power to choose, seduce, and decide. And sure, you could say that was true. But that’s true of most people. Most people – men and women alike – look for ways to increase their power in the courtship dance. They want to be more liked, more loved, more adored; to better be able to pick and choose the mates they want, and captures those mates’ hearts and minds.

Another way to name what I wanted, though, was to be a guy who ‘didn’t count’.

The phrase ‘doesn’t count’ can apply to lots of things. However, the way women usually use it when talking about men they’ve had romantic involvements with is to describe men they want to erase from their histories: “He didn’t count.” “That guy didn’t count.” “Oh, Jim? He doesn’t count.”

That was the guy I wanted to be.

The one who ‘didn’t count’.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.3: Building Intrigue

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

building intrigue
So far, we’ve tackled effective pre-opener tactics. Now it’s time to build intrigue to set the hook and reel her in.

Welcome back. So, last week we discussed opening, and in particular, pre-opening.

But what do you do once you open? You transition into material that hooks girls in. The things you have to focus on during the initial phase of the interaction are:

The first one is something you should always do throughout and after the interaction. The second aspect is the key here. There are many ways to hook a girl in a stimulating way. For example:

I use teasing sometimes, although I’m not an expert. I tend to fall into the trap of miscalibrating them and coming off as rude, ruining my sets.

Occasionally, some witty comments come out of my mouth, but it usually happens when I feel on fire – or in state, rather – which we label as high micro (social) momentum.

I will not discuss funny lines or teasing here because I will never write about anything that I am not a full-blown expert in. When it comes to “games”, they usually follow different structures. Using games is kind of out of trend these days.

Many guys prefer being more natural, and even for us technical guys, we like to make things “naturalized” rather than stick to canned games. Using canned games is so 2005 anyway! That said, they do work. They usually hook girls in and can stimulate them enough to buy some time.

Sadly, each game follows a different structure. I could write a post where I compile a bunch of games, but I think these will have been posted elsewhere on the web a century ago. Some examples that come to mind are The Cube, Strawberry Field, and question games. One I personally really like is called "Fuck, Marry, or Kill.”

How to Turn Girls You've Slept with into Friends

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girlfriends into friends
How do you turn a girl you’ve slept with into a friend? There are a few rules to follow – but also some pitfalls you must avoid.

Just dug an old topic out of my ‘topic ideas’ grab bag. A member of the Girls Chase forums, some years back, asked another member:

“You mentioned keeping these girls around as friends. Would you recommend this for women I’ve already slept with and hung out with for a bit? If so, how would you make that transition?”

... and that member responded:

“This is beyond my level. Maybe chase can shine some light on this topic. How to turn girls you’ve slept with into friends. Article worthy?”

I went into details in my response on that thread, but I’d like to explore the topic more today. How do you turn a girl you’ve slept with into a friend?

I’ve done it several times (I’ll explain why not more than that below), and it is eminently doable. However, there are some nuances involved in it you will have to keep in mind... to not have it blow up in your face, one way or another.

Tactics Tuesdays: 5 Ways to 'Assume the Sale' with Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

assume the sale dating
You know she likes you, but want to avoid resistance when you ask her to do something? Don’t give her the chance to resist. Assume the sale instead.

"Assume the sale."

It's one of the most recognizable sales mantras. Don't ask the prospect if he wants to buy. Assume he does. Then proceed under that assumption.

This advice has long made the rounds in seduction circles as well.

It's good advice, when timed well and calibrated to the girl and the scenario.

When you 'assume the sale' with an interested woman, you aren't jumping the gun heedlessly, of course. You don't assume "Well, she said 'hello' to me, so now I can take her hand and lead her to the washroom" (what you can do when she says 'hello' to you? Assume attraction). Rather than jump any guns, instead you read a girl's signs of interest and when you can tell she's probably ready for something, you just assume she is... and lead.

That's all well and good. If you don't have any sales training though, how do you do this?

Today's Tactics Tuesdays post arms you with five (5) different ways to assume the sale with women - all you have to do pick the method most suitable for your girl and your situation, and apply.

True Love Doesn’t Exist (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

This is my favorite video I’ve put out. It’s so beautifully empowering and inspirational if you can make it through. The journey of seduction and learning about women is, at its core, a journey of understanding what you can and cannot get from women. When you learn that romantic love, the everlasting kind that is perpetuated by not only our media and culture, but by our intrinsic desire to find lasting pleasure and lasting peace, is not real, your world will change.

Some might argue that romantic love is a new idea, and in some ways this is correct; most cultures up until a few hundred years ago saw sex and marriage as a transaction that kept resources flowing and bloodlines intact, but the game we play in public is very different from the game we play in our hearts and in our heads.
 
We have ALWAYS sought true love.

We are driven to find permanence, and the biggest trick we ever played on ourselves was convincing ourselves that we could find it in a romantic partner.

Not only is this a lie, it will SEVERELY hinder your romantic capabilities, both in casual and long-term relationships. You will be perpetually disappointed that a seduction or a relationship did not remain filled with bubbles and joy.

Watch the video and find out why true love is an illusion and why you should let it go.

Boost Your Success with Women by Using the Traffic Light System

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

traffic light system
Time and energy can be wasted on non-receptive girls, or by over-gaming receptive ones. Economize your dating by distinguishing between Reds, Yellows, and Greens.

With so many women to choose from in the world and so many women to approach, how the heck does a guy manage to filter through them faster and more efficiently, and become more effective in the mating game?

A lot of guys starting out spend a lot of time cold approaching in day game and night game, trying to learn their ladders for how to get women and identify the receptive ones from the girls who just aren’t interested.

Unfortunately, what also happens when learning is that a guy gets discouraged by rejection because he takes the response of a single woman far too personally.

Especially for newbies and virgins, a single rejection can be devastating, especially if it’s a type of girl he strongly aspires to get.

However, it’s not wise to take the opinion of one woman – or even a few women – seriously. This is because there are three categories of women out there in the world:

  • Women for whom you are exactly their type
  • Women for whom you might be their type, but they’re not sure
  • Women for whom you are absolutely not their type

Being a woman’s type or not is fairly binary – after all, attraction is binary – but women also have preconceived notions about men based on their appearance, fundamentals, and behavior.

In short, women have preferences, but you can also short circuit their preferences by creating desire.