Confidence

Some men practice game for years and don’t improve. When you zoom in on why, it’s almost always because they don’t do their homework.

Here’s the truth. To improve your skills with getting women, you can go all out. You can “burn a bar to the ground” night after night, approaching every girl from 4 to 10 on the scale, but if you have no direction, you will inevitably end up spinning your wheels.

And I’m surprised that I so rarely see anyone take the time to sit down and really look at things with a logical eye. Well, in this article, I am going to reveal how I myself have reached an elite level by doing what every young kid hates – homework.

I have friends who have not seen much progress despite their interest and having shared my journey from my beginning to where I am now. They still do the same openers, the same half-assed, timid approaches. Yet they keep asking me what’s wrong with them and why nothing is changing.

Their issue isn’t simply that they haven’t learned from their failures, it’s that they don’t recognize their failures. Sometimes, it’s nearly impossible to identify what is causing our own failures. It’s the same for us all; everyone has essential things they don’t know they don’t know. It can be difficult to connect a reaction or rejection with something you did wrong, even over several approaches. So how can one find the puzzle pieces that are missing?

To rekindle your own raw masculinity, you must become comfortable with those most familiar of masculine friends: struggle and pain.

We live in the most perfect of all existences.

Our good deeds are always rewarded, even if we don't notice. If we truly did someone a kindness – including ourselves – it will be rewarded in that moment or in the future.

Likewise, justice is always doled out in perfect unity, even if we do not always see its consequences.

The fruits we sow always come to fruition, no matter how far we run. Even if we isolate ourselves atop a remote mountain, away from any external, hostile threat, the most dangerous judge of them all, the one within ourselves, will crawl its way out from the depths of our being and ravage us as ruthlessly as we have others.

Existence is perfect.

But it isn’t always pretty.

Despite the trappings of civilization, we’re all animalistic savages at heart. In Part 1 of this series, we’ll explore just how central to humans is sex.

We live in a brave new world.

Our hunter-gatherer days came to an end with the advent of agriculture, which allowed us to settle permanently in one location and call it home. This escape from the daily struggles of travel and hunting allowed us to build and to think.

Humanity gained the time to erect tall structures and new philosophies. These ideas seeped their way into every citizen's mind, and our animalistic natures began to shift into something different.

Eventually, this cohesion of custom and habit we call culture brought us to the next great leap – the Industrial Revolution. With new forms of power in our hands, modern technology was born.

Technology quickly evolved into what it is today, granting us the power to unleash our animal instincts with the touch of a button by sending some random girl across the sea a picture of our dick.

We may live in civilization, but we are still animals.

Our entire lives still revolve around the most basic of desires – to fuck, to eat, to kill, and to survive.

Despite our evolution, we still rely on leaders. We need someone to tell us what to do and how to think. And we choose the most powerful leaders (or at least the one who makes us feel more powerful). This was Donald Trump’s trump card in the U.S. election. With slogans like “Make America Great Again” and his focus on buzzwords like “winning,” he energized his base to feel like winners. Hillary Clinton, while very popular and persuasive in her own right, relied on victim mentalities and moral superiority. These make people feel safe, but not powerful. Whether it's through fear, respect, or love, we tend to choose the more powerful force to guide us.

We only value what is useful. If you are not creating, leading, or destroying on behalf of a culture, you are relegated to the bottom and given only the meager scraps of the resources. At the heart of all this is the “givers vs. takers” dichotomy. Those who provide value are, not so ironically, given the most in return. Powerful people are given passes for crimes and moral indignities that lower-value people are not. Whoever is useful to the herd survives. Whoever is not is left behind.

We pretend to act on logic or virtue, but this is an illusion. We act because of emotions. You cannot “logically act.” It’s an oxymoron. Logic isn’t a fuel for action, it’s the glue that binds thoughts together. You can want to do something then logically decide it’s not the optimal move – if you have good self-discipline – but even that “better, logical” decision is still based on emotion. You are sacrificing one desire that is recognized as short term or too dangerous for a long-term desire that will ultimately provide more pleasure. Nevertheless, the action is still motivated by emotion and feeling. Even the grandest philosophies and most noble virtues are inspired by emotion. We are forever animals looking for the greatest pleasure and the greatest resources of pleasure.

This is what civilization is – a big game in which we argue, fight, kill, and steal to achieve the greatest pleasures available.

There can be virtuous notions behind our killing and stealing, but it’s impossible to separate our desires from these acts.

And at the heart of this grand game we play?

Sex.

It’s been a few months, but we’re back again with a new podcast, this time with the insightful and harmonic Daka Guy, of New York City. Daka Guy is a tantra instructor – which is another way to say women pay him to teach them sex. He’s one of the most spiritually and sexually balanced individuals I know, and I have personally attended his classes and been transformed by them.

If you want to do something, but you never take action do it... what is that? It’s a case where you have the interest – but lack the desire.

A friend who has been consulting with me about the dating world visited me recently for a weekend – and brought some interesting stories to share. He graduated from college last year and moved to a new city, landing a prestigious job at a highly respected global firm with a six-figure starting pay and great benefits (right out of school!). Basically, he fulfilled the career dream he had since before college, and now he lives in a beautiful new apartment in a great part of town, with lots of space and lots of money.

Regarding this side of his life, he’s completely fulfilled – well, sort of. He likes his life on paper, but after actually speaking to him about the details, I discovered he feels immersed in soul-killing consumerism. He liked my tiny, modest apartment with its very human and soulful feel. Before leaving, he said my vibe had rubbed off on him – he felt sweeter and more relaxed.

Yet on the dating field, he hasn’t gone on a single date since moving to his new city. He has been following Girls Chase for almost two years and has since improved on his vibe and does cold approach occasionally. However, he has yet to ask out a girl in his new town. He tells me that he’s waiting to become more fit (he goes to the gym regularly and is still looking for new clothes) to present himself better. He’s also working on his fundamentals and is pursuing new hobbies and meet-ups where he might meet women. He also laments that there are no women in his area he really has a desire for. In other words, he doesn’t find them attractive, so they’re not even worth approaching or pursuing.

I will note that he did enjoy the look of women in my area – so location is a factor indeed!

He wanted to know what he could do to start dating women, and I told him that right now, there’s nothing he can really do, because no matter what I tell him, he’s not actually going to do it. How did I deduce this? I told him that in this moment in his life, he doesn’t want to date or learn to be with women badly enough; his focus is still on building his career, not learning to attract women.

In fact, his desire, as it was during college, remains in climbing his career and making lots of money – a big factor in his choice of city – while he merely has an interest in learning about women and dating. I told him nothing would happen for him until he actually held a real desire to be with a woman; for now, a sufficient desire doesn’t exist in him. I told him he’s waiting for a “perfect moment” that will never actually arrive.

What he actually needs to do to make any progress is to get the ball rolling, but his desire to grow career-wise suffocates that process.

I wanted to break down why things were the way they were for him, and thus came about the topic of this article. It’s a little abstract but very useful in deducing people’s intentions.

One of the great life lessons I am getting ever more acquainted with is that what people say they want or like, and what they actually, truly want – and what they actually do – are often very different things. This is what we’re going to talk about today: why these inconsistencies exist and how they show up.

Masculinity is good. But a feminine man who is still sexual and dominant offers something uniquely special women just go nuts for.

We focus heavily on becoming masculine here at Girls Chase, because it’s a problem that plagues most men reading this.

You’re probably too feminine.

To define this, allow me to define some feminine behaviors:

• Meek body language: avoiding people’s personal bubbles – if something makes you feel small, it’s feminine body language (e.g., standing with legs close together)

• Words that temper the assertiveness of your assertions (e.g., “It’s just this” or “I was only saying that…”)

• Flamboyant gestures (e.g., rolling your eyes)

• Extravagant clothing (e.g., peacocking)

On that last point, though, strangely, it’s the males of almost every species on earth that “peacock” and display the most colorful coats, feathers, or behaviors to attract women. My argument would be that males are demonstrating their feminine energy to more closely link with women.

This principle, that the feminine attracts the feminine, is the heart of this article.

For a lot of men, though not all, their problem isn’t attracting women. What I’ve noticed, upon reflection, is that I’ve never really had trouble attracting women, even absolute stunners.

What the journey in game, then, seems to be about is:

1. Increasing the frequency and degree of attraction I receive from stunning women (i.e., fundamentals)

2. Learning how to take that attraction and lead it to bed (i.e., game)

Women are, I’d guess, far more attracted to you than you think. I know this because I will go out with guys who are in every sense beginners and immediately spot women who are attracted to them. I tell them to approach, and it goes amazingly well.

The reason they don’t close is because of their game.

Therefore, when I say, for anyone intermediate or below, you’re probably too feminine, I’m saying that you probably attract women you yourself are genuinely attracted to (distinct from doggish horniness), but you lack the male aggression to close the deal. For those who already have that masculine spirit nailed down, we can actually take a journey back into the feminine energy and amplify it to amplify attraction (and also induce chasing).

Feminine behaviors will mostly help with:

1. Tempering your attainability

2. Calming your over-aggression

3. Encouraging women to chase

But before we begin, one note.

If you’re not willing to date certain girls, does that mean you’re insecure? Well, perhaps… But only if “insecure” doesn’t mean what your accuser means it means.

There’s a common refrain you’ll hear from women. Not just women, but men sometimes too. The refrain goes like this:

“You don’t want to date her because you’re insecure.”

There are some women this is obviously pure self-serving commentary from. Morbidly obese women, for instance. If a morbidly obese woman tells you you’re insecure if you don’t want to date her, well, you know that’s a tub of baloney (and maybe a tub of lard, too).

This article isn’t about those women. Not the obviously undesirable girls who’d claim your rejection of them stems from insecurity.

Instead, this article is about the fuzzy cases: girls with high notch counts, girls who’ve dated far wealthier or handsomer men than you, girls who’ve dated criminals. Heck, girls who’ve dated men of ‘badder’ races than you are (a white guy if you’re Asian, or a black guy if you’re white, for instance), or girls who used to be guys (transsexuals), or girls who tell you they’ve been rape victims or abuse victims.

Are you, in fact, insecure if you don’t want to date one of these people?