Brain Hacks

The Law of Attraction isn’t some magical force, but it sure feels that way when you take the real, pragmatic steps necessary to build positive momentum.

In 2006, a book and movie about the Law of Attraction, The Secret, went super meme.

Suddenly, all my friends, coworkers, and family were like, “Just think positive! Have you seen The Secret?”

Now in 2019, it seems like everyone is a certified life coach. Or they at least watch Joe Rogan. But in 2006, the idea that “energy” could be manipulated by pure intention was still foreign, at least outside Yogis, Buddhists, and stoners.

Even I was seduced at first that “positive thought” could, through pure intent and without action, manifest your wildest dreams. At the time, spurred by my recent discovery of seduction material, it keyed up with my interest in self-development, which had a similar philosophy of “always positive, never negative.”

But could I just “think positive” and attract the most beautiful women into my life? Like magic? Could I just write a best-selling novel on my first try?

Not exactly.

The basic premise of The Secret is that there’s a universal energy called “The Law of Attraction,” and if you harness its power, you can create the reality you desire. The documentary had plenty of expert interviews with new-age pseudo-scientists, philosophers, and even Buddhist monks, who, with the power of love chants, could allegedly change the molecular structure of snowflakes. On the other spectrum, they claimed that negative words made the snowflakes wither and melt.

After watching The Secret, one couldn’t help but feel like their whole life had been lived in a deep, dark well of negativity, and if they only believed, then all their prayers would be answered. You didn’t need to actually “do” anything but “believe.” It’s your negativity and limiting beliefs that manifest your problems. So, if you just stop focusing on your problems, you won’t create them. Just focus on positive thoughts, and you’d create only positive outcomes.

That’s where the philosophy lost me. It just sounded an awful lot like prayer for agnostics, a religion for people without religion. Instead of praying to Jesus, you pray to the Law of Attraction. “Oh, The Secret, please fill my bank account with money and help me get laid!”

The Secret was a massive success, and a long-forgotten Buddhist philosophy was re-introduced to the Western world: a world without religion, desperate for some sort of spiritual guidance. And thousands of motivational Facebook memes later, its influence can still be felt.

What are you passionate about? Do you even know? Let’s explore what fuels passion and how to discover what drives and fulfills you in work, life, and love.

What does it mean to be passionate? And why is it important to have passion?

One of the biggest problems I see in 99% of guys I work with is not knowing what to say to women. When I ask them what they’re passionate about, they shrug their shoulders. They have no clue. It’s a question they’ve never been asked or really thought about. No wonder their conversations with women are as interesting as talking to a toaster.

Most of us are so addicted to consuming massive quantities of data from our smartphones that our brains become stuffed with garbage, most of which we can’t remember a few hours later.

It’s through sharing that we realize our passions, but we don’t share our thoughts in human, face-to-face interactions as much as we did before social media.

There’s a reason I make my coaching clients take notes, write field reports, and discuss their approaches with me and on forums. When you discuss things with other minds, you sort out the information and cement the lessons learned. When you get excited to share something with other people, that’s when you know you’re truly passionate about it.

So why is it important to feel passion, and to be passionate?

• It makes life worth living

• It’s a contagious and inspiring emotion that lifts people’s spirits and brings others closer to you

• It’s a strong motivator for creating, exploring, and improving

• It’s sexy

Mental masturbation, the act of wasting valuable brainpower on pointless thoughts, is a game killer.

I had a coaching client recently who asked if I could answer a few questions. I said sure, expecting the usual “How do you know what to say to girls?” or “How do I get over my approach anxiety?” Instead, he sent me a list of 20 incredibly complex queries, including doozies like the following.

(Note, if the author is reading, I love you, bro: this is for your benefit.)

Here’s #2 from his list:

“What have you found in terms of the structure you would talk to a girl in terms of: Questions, Statements, Cold-reads, Roleplaying, Teasing, Paraphrasing, Facial/Body/Hand Expressions and Gestures, Flirting, Pretending, Imagine, Advice, Helping, Acting, Deep diving, Humor, Sexuality, Storytelling, Relating, Apologizing, Compliments, Kino, Reinstating for understanding, Leading, Protection, Boredom, and Silence? How do emotions also play a role in the structure, are there things to look out for and a general rule for how to get back on the rails without looking desperate, needy, or fake, rather than someone she desires?”

Translation: “How do I speak confidently to women, without running out of things to say?”

Answer: Study, practice, study, practice.

Here’s another:

“How do you manage crossovers, so when two people want or believe something different about each other, but only one believes, or situations that can work at a time due to conflicting matters? Or it is impossible? How can it be steered in your direction rather than being a pushover? How dominant is the optimum, and where is the balance if there needs to be because her attraction starts dropping due to conflicting beliefs? For example, a real situation I have had, you are talking to a girl, and she believes that listening to music is not inspiring when you believe it is, and you have already stated that, but she will not change her mind on the topic regardless?”

Translation: “When should I agree or disagree with women?”

Answer: Studies have shown when someone initially disagrees and then switches their opinion, that person becomes less attractive. In general, you don’t want to be a pushover, a limp noodle who changes opinions based on the likelihood of getting laid. Women are especially good at detecting BS. It’s usually better to either tell the truth about your feelings and beliefs or say “No comment.”

When we’re stuck short of realizing our desires, it’s often hard to figure out why we aren’t moving, especially when our sticking points come from within.

When you are trying to learn an epic new skill like seduction, you’re inevitably going to experience sticking points.

A sticking point is a spot in your journey you can't past unless something changes. It’s like heavy mud on your boots, keeping you from moving forward.

But it can still be confusing as to what a sticking point entails. For example, if you’re from Pakistan and you want to live in London, but you can’t get past the bureaucracy to obtain a travel visa, this isn’t a sticking point. If, however, you obtained a visa but have a deep fear of flying keeping you from traveling, this is a sticking point.

If you want to meet a girl you like, but she won’t reply to your texts, this isn’t a sticking point. If you have her contact info, but you don’t know what to text her, this is. You can always improve your skill with texting, but you can’t force a girl to reply.

So, how does one identify and get past sticking points? How does one come to find themself on the other side of personal obstacles and achieve their goals?

If a girl screens you out before getting to know you, don't take it personally. It's not that difficult to change a girl's perception of you and turn things around.

Have you ever felt like a woman has judged you from one look and came to a conclusion that puts you out of the running forever? Well, it is no illusion. Women do screen men out like this, and if you go in blindly, your chances of turning things around are not very high.

There is a reliable way to turn your image around with a girl, however. What I'll share in this post can help you confidently get back on track.

First, let's go through why girls get negative images of you so you don't take it personally or hold it against women. When I first started picking up girls, they screened me out, thinking that I was unmanly, weak-willed, naïve, boring, and lame. Of course, I felt shocked that I was labeled this way and thought these girls were wrong.

It's important that we understand the reason women often screen so harshly: they despise men who promise results LATER.

Anyone can promise they'll be worthwhile to a girl at some later point, after some rapport is built or whatever. If a woman gives in to this reasoning, your true character and intentions will remain hidden until the time you reveal them. She risks being played and getting emotionally hurt. No girl is so weak that she will let anybody hurt her just because he says he won't, and needs some help to get started. Women screen to see your agenda NOW. They want to know if you can DELIVER on command or not.

If you are unwilling to show your agenda or character in the now, it's because you are ashamed of it. If you are not able to deliver on command, you have no business making them.

So, from a woman's point of view, this is the most basic screening behavior. She assures herself that men GIVE her a benefit now and that they REVEAL how they feel about themselves and their actions. It lets her deal only with men she knows have something to offer.

Now, you can rage against the mating-game here and say it's unfair, but look at how trivial of a test this is. It does not determine much about you; it is actually very open (unless you failed to pass it). Her image of you can also be changed if you know how. So it is like raging at a parking meter. There are bigger issues to worry about — issues that are actually in your control.

A bit of understanding can go a long way. As with many things, the first step is to accept reality, then develop a game plan to adapt and conquer.

Here's my experience and advice for managing your image with girls in the long term.

Social freeze-ups can happen anywhere, even venues you’re familiar with. So here are more ways to set things in motion and turn a sour mood into a sexy vibe.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last time we discussed overall strategies to prevent and handle potential freeze-ups when frequenting new venues. Today we will delve deeper into this topic. Let’s focus on practical tools that can help you counteract potential anxiety in the field.

Last time we focused primarily on dealing with new venues, since these are usually a source of potential nervousness. You do not feel fully at home in new environments, and they can be a bit scary.

I’ve mentioned that freeze-ups can also happen in familiar venues where you do feel at home, too.

Even though you’ve been to a place many times and have had great nights and much success there, there can be nights where you still struggle and have a hard time interacting with others. So here are some more general solutions that will also help in familiar places.

The experience you gain by going to different venues is invaluable, but it’s easy to freeze up socially in new environments. This is normal, but not untreatable.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today, I’ll discuss club game issues that are relevant to everyone at any level. What do you do when you experience a “social” freeze-up at a club?

Sometimes guys freeze up when entering a club. They feel unable to approach women or groups. Their anxiety rises, and they start feeling anti-social, and not in the mood.

If you are experiencing this, you are likely entering what psychology calls “freeze mode.”

Guys freezing up will often rationalize that the venue is bad for hooking up and start seeing negativity everywhere:

• Every girl is in a big group
• Too loud
• Too many guys
• Too many mixed sets
• Bad general vibe
• Women are only there to look for attention
• Too many gold diggers

The list goes on.

When you enter freeze mode, and you don’t feel social, you start seeing negativity everywhere. And most of the time, it’s just a bias created by your mood.

So let’s discuss what causes this mood and then discuss some solutions to help you successfully move forward in these situations.