Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

The Life Benefits and Costs of Learning Seduction Game

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

cost and benefits of learning seduction game
Should you focus more on your career or your game? Ultimately, both are important aspects every man should invest in as early as possible to be truly happy in life.

I recently visited my friend in Seattle during an extra-long layover on a business trip – he’s admittedly far less woman-experienced than me, but he’s also a decade younger. I was asked a question I see asked often in various ways – how valuable is it to learn game as an investment, as far as effort versus rewards is concerned?

We do have some articles covering this on Girls Chase:

Considering my friend’s question, I thought I’d add my own perspective on the importance of learning game in life versus focusing your effort on other endeavors.

Sex and women are one of the biggest drives that men have by nature, and it’s no accident. We’re designed to reproduce, and we’re designed to seek and screw women. But despite this, the truth is that most men are terrible with women. The majority – probably 95% – don’t find or follow websites like Girls Chase, nor bother to learn (or even attempt to see the importance of learning) how to become better-suited to attracting and keeping the opposite sex. Often, it’s deemed unnecessary or too hard to warrant the effort.

There are also guys who see other men doing well with women and assume that this kind of success isn’t even possible for themselves. Minorities often hold this view, believing that it’s impossible for them to attract the same kind of women more skilled men get. Other guys notice that men in certain social circles tend to do better than others – a bartender, international tour guide, or frat bro versus your average Joe, for instance.

Well, there is some truth to this, but it’s worth examining more closely because your experience with women is tied to the timeline of your life, and your ability to attract women as a man is largely determined by how much effort you put into learning about women.

As you’ll see, there are no accidents when it comes to why certain men do better with women – and get hotter girlfriends more frequently – than other guys.

How to Be a Confident Man (with the Kind of Confidence Women Like)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to be a confident manEvery man who isn't it yet wants to know how to be a confident man.

Men build lives around confidence. They want to find it, get it, hold onto it.

They want to be around people who already have it. They want others to recognize them as in possession of it themselves.

There are different kinds of confidence. There are:

  • Men who are confident they can excel at school/work

  • Men who are confident they can win fist fights

  • Men who are confident they can sing a song well

  • Men who are confident in how they walk, talk, or dress

Each kind of confidence is a different confidence. Each is good. Having one does not mean you have the rest. If you're confident you can win a spelling bee that does not mean you are also confident you can survive being stranded in the desert. These are two different kinds of confidence.

One kind of confidence stems from a key belief every man successful with women holds.

Women call this belief 'confidence', and refer to men who have it as 'confident men'.

Yet at its heart it is a belief. One key belief.

The belief underlies a man's actions with women. You can see it in his reactions to what women say and do. The belief emanates from him when he discusses women. It drives all his decisions regarding them.

No man enters the world with this belief. And you can't so much teach it as progress toward it.

As with any belief, it is acquired gradually, with experience. Sometimes that experience is conscious; sometimes not.

Once a man has this belief, it is tremendously helpful in a great many regards. It gives him wings with women; it allows him to achieve things men who lack the belief (confidence) cannot. It makes him a mystery to other men around him: they see him pull off things with women they cannot understand. Women behave in ways around him others think women don't or shouldn't behave. The belief-holding man violates everything other people think they know about how women interact with people and men.

Different men have different degrees of this key underlying belief. Highly confident men have it a lot; lesser confident men have it a bit. Whether a man claims to hold the belief or not is not the key to his confidence. It is what the man believes, deep down, in that core place inside himself, that determines how the belief manifests itself outside, actively, as a confident man in the world with real women.

If a man has this true confidence, from this one key belief, you can see it. Women can see it too -- and women respond to it.

Does Good Seduction Game Actually Work to Attract Women?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

does seduction game attract women
Does having good game impact whether a girl will be attracted to you? Short answer: yes, if she allows it to. A few key factors influence whether or not she will.

It’s newbie question time!

“Hi, Tony.

I’m very curious about predictable patterns you’ve noticed in women’s behavior that they exhibit immediately after you act a certain way towards them or use certain techniques on them at the right time. For example, after you pass their screens, get past their resistance, or qualify them at the right time, they stop controlling some of their attraction for you.

Their compliance threshold increases and they’re overall more open to moving forward with you. Just how much does this compliance threshold increase on average, and how long do you have to take advantage of it before it decreases? And have you noticed women saying relatively the same thing during this time? Do they actively try to build similarity with you? 

Hope that made sense. Thanks for taking questions!”

Okay, I’m going to break this down from nerd-speak into plain English.

““I’m very curious about predictable patterns you’ve noticed in women’s behavior that they exhibit immediately after you act a certain way towards them or use certain techniques on them at the right time.”

Translation: “Does game actually work?”

Yes, it does, if the woman allows it to. There must be some minuscule amount of attraction locked away deep in her heart. It may have alarm bells, locked doors, and security guards. If this is the case, it’s your job as the seducer to break in and steal it.

When You Concede, Don't Pander or Break

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

don't pander or break
You can't win every fight. But how you handle the situations where you must back down a bit determines how those you're in the fight with treat you.

Jimbo commented in my article on meeting girls while staying safe in a paranoid dating society, asking me to review a recent, controversial article on the Washington Post. The article was titled "Thanks for not raping us, all you 'good men.' But it's not enough."

The article itself is a screed against the male sex, both the 'bad men' who aren't conciliatory and inclusive enough toward women, and the 'good men' who are, but who lack the spine to put the bad men in their place and don't in any event ever really change things to make the world a sufficiently female-inclusive one.

I don't want to comment much on the argument itself... I don't think I need to, given our audience. The positions and arguments are nonsensical; the beliefs hyperbolic. The vast majority of commentators in the comment section of the article take the author to task for her abusiveness toward her cowed, yoked husband.

And I'll comment only briefly on the dynamic. It looks like the dynamic you get in a long-term relationship with a strong-willed, opinionated woman, and a quiet, acquiescent man. The woman becomes increasingly emboldened, abusive, and sometimes vampiric over time. The man, with his quiet acceptance of her behavior, serves as her enabler and as a source of narcissistic supply. You can have this dynamic with the sexes reversed too: domineering husband, codependent/enabling wife, or domineering wife, codependent/enabling husband. It's an unhealthy dynamic for both parties, and it's created by both parties. A domineering partner cannot domineer without the retreat and acquiescence of the codependent one. You're only seeing one blowup fight in this article... but in my experience looking at the woman's writing style, how she frames the fight, and her pride in putting it out there and expecting to be patted on the back for her righteousness (rather than ashamed at this uncharacteristic explosion, which is how most women are when they do something nasty that is truly out of character), all that fits the pattern of a domineering partner enabled to the point of delusions of grandeur ("Fighting the good fight -- for all womankind!") by her codependent.

That out of the way, what I'd actually like to focus on in this article is the husband's reaction. Because there's a telling passage in the article about how this fight went:

"My husband of 50 years did not have to stifle a laugh. He took it dead seriously. He did not defend his remark, he did not defend men. He sat, hunched and hurt, and he listened. For a moment, it occurred to me to be grateful that I’m married to a man who will listen to a woman. The winds calmed ever so slightly in that moment. And then the storm surge welled up in me as I realized the pathetic impotence of nice men’s plan to rebuild the wreckage by listening to women. As my rage rushed through the streets of my mind, toppling every memory of every good thing my husband has ever done (and there are scores of memories), I said the meanest thing I’ve ever said to him: Don’t you dare sit there and sympathetically promise to change. Don’t say you will stop yourself before you blurt out some impatient, annoyed, controlling remark. No, I said, you can’t change. You are unable to change. You don’t have the skills and you won’t do it. You, I said, are one of the good men. You respect women, you believe in women, you like women, you don’t hit women or rape women or in any way abuse women. You have applauded and funded feminism for a half-century. You are one of the good men. And you cannot change. You can listen all you want, but that will not create one iota of change."

This fight could've been over in three minutes instead of 30, the screed avoided, and this clusterbomb of an article the author wrote never written, had the husband done the one thing his wife and I both agree he failed to do:

Grow a pair of balls, straighten his spine out, and stand up for something for once.

The only thing his wife and I disagree with is what he must stand up on -- but as we'll see in just a minute, even then, we don't really disagree.

Is It Okay to Use Relationship Drama as a Man?

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

drama as a man
We men hate drama. But it has its uses. Women use it to test their men, but we can use it to put our foot down and demand respect without harming the relationship.

Men generally have a distaste for drama.

But women love it. They thrive on it. If it didn’t excite them, they wouldn’t create it so much – or at least not in the way they do. Their ambiguous behavior tangles us in a web of seduction and riles us up.

Women enjoy drama, but it also has a function. They use it to test your mettle and how much you care about them – or to express a problem within the relationship.

As men, the only time we should ever start drama is to express an issue we have. We have no need to test women with drama. It is an unnecessary step. We also have no need to test if women care about us – they will show us. We are not women. Unfortunately, many guys act like women in relationships. They start drama all the time and are gossips in their social lives, too.

In my experience, a man only needs to start drama when she crosses a line of respect with you or begins to turn into the kind of woman you no longer want to be with.

Let’s go through those two scenarios and how you should start drama in cases where it can be useful. We will aim for maximum effect and as little drama as necessary. As with everything, the law of least effort applies here. We do not like drama. If you must start it, you probably won’t enjoy it, so make it as simple as possible and easy to end quickly after it’s fulfilled its purpose.

People as Their Alignments: Evil, Neutral, and Good

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

moral alignnment
We each fall somewhere on the 9-sided moral alignment die. Lawful Good, Chaotic Neutral, Neutral Evil… where do you fall, and how does it impact things?

This should be a fun article. Or even an insightful one... depends how much you like personality tests.

... but most of us like personality tests, don't we?

And this one's a fairly useful one, as far as personality tests go.

A recent study discovered six 'dark' traits (egoism, narcissism, Machiavellianism, sadism, psychopathy, and spitefulness) all stem from the same underlying 'dark core'... something the researchers dubbed 'the Dark Factor of Personality'. The result is that if you have one dark trait, you are likely to have others -- because they all come from that same dark center.

Over the last few years I've thought a lot about dark and light. I discussed the phenomenon of younger 'dark' guys who reform when older in "The Civilized Man." I talked about the choice between goodness and wickedness in "The Good King." And I went in-depth on some of the research into the 'light side' of personality in "Be the Lightbringer: Dating and the Sublime Benefits of Positivity." And of course, aside from these, we've always urged you to do right by women and other people, and avoid bitterness yourself... as much for your own sake as for others'.

The seduction space can serve as a magnet for dark characters... even if most of the men in it are neutral- or light-oriented. The dark characters rarely reach levels of prominence within the community -- whether it's more because their methods repel the non-dark men too much, or they just don't care to help/teach other men enough to carve out a niche, I couldn't say. But there are guys like this who become instructors, or rise to this or that level of prominence within seduction communities... sometimes concealing their dark side, sometimes wearing it on their sleeves.

One of the reasons I won't teach 'dark side tech' -- things like reverse supplication, sexual power reversal, one-sided monogamy, taming/dependency, or the infamous October Man sequence --is the existence of 'dark-side' guys within the community (all the non-dark guys who'd cause damage purely by accident are the other part of the reason). If everyone was light-side, we could perhaps talk about this stuff and trust most guys to use it responsibly... but not everyone is, so this stuff stays tucked away under lock and key.

Why do people have these different dispositions? How different are the dispositions anyway -- are people just a little different from one another, or are the differences BIG? And how do these differences come about in the first place?

By pure chance, one day I came across a Dungeons & Dragons 'alignment test'. The test allowed you to sniff out where on the 'alignment scale' you fall... good or evil? Lawful, neutral, or chaotic?

I thought it would be a fun thing to play with. But in fact, it's turned out to be accurate for real people I've used it with, to quite a surprising degree.

Guide to Exploring and Choosing Venues to Maximize Your Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

guide to exploring venues
Not all venues are created equal. This guide details which ones work best with each type of game and mood, and how to utilize a venue’s best features.

Welcome back.

So, last week we discussed how it was key to change things up and frequent new venues as you grow more experienced in night game. If you don’t, you will miss out on a lot of great opportunities and eventually develop a crutch, making you dependent on one venue and limiting your skillset.

Additionally, you will only get to meet and practice with women who frequent that venue, which can limit your experience drastically. We also mentioned how going to new venues will teach you to calibrate to new places, cultures, and people. The latter is a very valuable skill indeed.

Going to new venues becomes easier and less scary if you become accustomed to them. We will continue from where we previously left things. The goal today is to provide guidance that will facilitate and make it easier for you to visit and explore new places.

The Late-Date-Half-Flake: Sometimes This Is Why She Flakes

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

late dates and half flakes
Sometimes a girl will flake because she sees you as unattainable or as too high or low value. Here’s how to react, pass her tests, and get her to show up.

We were supposed to meet at 7 for drinks one weekday evening.

I sent her an anti-flake text at 11:10am that said “See you tonight, lady,” to which she did not respond. I showed up at the venue at 6:05 and didn’t see her anywhere.

I sent another: “Just got here.” Then I waited. I knew what was happening. I didn’t hear from her until 7:20.

“Hey! Sorry – lost track of time, such a busy day. I’m just going to shower quickly and then I’ll head over that way.”

We were going to have drinks about five minutes walking distance from her own apartment.

By the time she showed up, it was 8:45. In the meantime, I chatted with my buddies on my laptop, had a beer, and wrote about 1000 words of this article.

She arrived about two hours late and apologized profusely, but I could tell she was nervous as hell, and I knew why.

We didn’t go home together that night, but it’s only because she didn’t see me as attainable for what she was looking for at the time, and I ended up being too needy in my behavior. However, up to that point, everything was handled.

You might be asking, “Why in the world would Varoon wait almost two hours for a girl to show up to a date? I’d probably have left after about fifteen minutes.” Normally, if a girl is that late, I’ll just text her, reschedule, and preserve my own time.

However, this situation was completely different because the core issue in the girl’s behavior was my attainability, not my value. Just understanding that required a completely different strategy to handle the issue and preserve my chances. This girl knew my value and thus wanted to slow-play the dating process. To get her, I realized I had to play into that.

How to Create a Loving Vibe That Attracts Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

attract women with love
Your state of mind creates a vibe that can attract or repel women. Use these tips to develop an aura of love that attracts women like bears to honey.

Many years ago, I was on Vacation, visiting a friend from the PUA community. He lived in a small town in Northern Canada with a surprisingly big nightlife. After a long evening at the bar, he asked if I wanted to go to an after party. Of course I did.

“Here, take one of these,” he said, handing the group a bag of white pills.

“What is it?” I asked.

“MDMA.”

I’d only tried MDMA once, and it was a crazy adventure. So I decided to give it one more shot. I popped the pill and we headed out to the party.

MDMA basically turns your dopamine up from zero to twelve, and as our group walked to the party, we all started giggling like school girls. By the time we got there, we were tripping hard. I felt this incredible joy and love for everyone and everything.

I sat down beside this pretty girl, and in about ten seconds, we were making out. I don’t remember what I said, but I felt an intense attraction, mixed with incredible vulnerability. It wasn’t my words that seduced her, but my vibe.

The problem with drugs and alcohol is that they come at a cost. Alcohol causes hangovers that wreck your day. Drugs like MDMA are the same – you get an emotional hangover. What goes up must come down. I don’t advocate using hard drugs, and I haven’t touched them since. But I did learn something powerful that night: that whatever you feel, she feels.